The Ominous Thoughts News Report 4.01.07
Posted by Sam Caplan on 04.01.2007
I'm no April Fool, I know where the real action is this weekend...it's in Ring Of Honor! Oh yeah, there's that Wrestlemania thing, too.
Well, 24 hours can do wonders for the psyche. Gone are aggresive thoughts pertaining to Vince Russo, and in their place is much more happy thoughts about Ring Of Honor, Wrestlemania, and...a third thing!
Oh, and I'm not doing any stupid April Fool's gimmick. That's really lame and so 1999.
No Real News section this week, because the big news is, of course, Wrestlemania, and there's been so much going on this week in preparation of the big show, and I'll have more on that later, so let's get all the other news out of the way before we dive into that and this weekend's ROH shows which I also want to talk about.
The Other News
WWE
WWE has fired Joey Mercury.
Details are incredibly scarce on this, but word is that it has to do with a violation of the Wellness Policy and, apparently, he was backstage at TV and his "condition" was such that the decision to fire him was pretty much made on the spot. He did serve a Wellness suspension last year before MNM first broke up, so it's possible that that was his warning and this was the eventual end to that story. What a crappy way to celebrate the week leading into Wrestlemania.
ECW will return to Philadelphia as part of an ECW/Smackdown taping on 6/12.
Oh, this oughta be fun. If you thought they got heat because of how different the ECW product was from the original last time around, wait until you see the reception they get this time. Gee, I hope they go live.
The decision was made this week to put the John Cena vs Shawn Michaels on last at Wrestlemania, which was said to have upset Batista and the Undertaker.
I can't say I blame them. While Cena vs Michaels will almost certainly be better in terms of the workrate, Undertaker was the Rumble winner and his title shot is supposed to be the main event. I'm sure he'll win, but him losing is the only reason I can imagine this not going on last because closing the show with Batista beating Undertaker would definitely send people home pissed off. I'm not saying that's what's going to happen, but it's the only practical reason I can think of. Hm.
TNA
Team 3D has opened a wrestling academy in Florida.
No cruiserweight sized guys, though. They'll only take you if you're big, fat, have no charisma, and want to build a career by constantly reusing tired old spots that haven't gotten over since 2000. Chain wrestling? Fuck you, go train with Malenko if you want crap like that. Team 3D's idea of chain wrestling is wrestling with an actual chain, but if there's one thing they've taught me (and will now teach all their aspiring students) is that talent and charisma are totally unnecessary when it comes to succeeding in this business. God they suck ass and I hate them.
Sean Waltman was backstage at the Impact tapings this past week.
This fucking guy is backstage more than most of the talent. I wouldn't be surprised to find out he's homeless and, now that he's spending Zero Nights In Chyna, he's living in the Impact Zone.
Don West has been named Product Sales Manager at TNA, and has been doing a lot of work with upgrading their merchandising.
COME ON PEOPLE, YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO BUY THIS SONJAY DUTT ROOKIE CARD! BE DIALING!
Sting mentioned in an interview this past week that 2007 would likely be his last year in wrestling.
I think it's just about time, because he seems to have accomplished everything he wanted to since coming to TNA. He won the NWA World Title and did a program with Abyss, and from what I hear those were the two main goals for him when he signed on, and he has been totally unselfish when asked to put people over, so I think it would be good for him to go out with some dignity. This year would be a perfect time for that.
Everything Else
Abe Coleman, the oldest known pro wrestler, died this past week at the age of 101.
I'm assuming he was no longer actively working at the time he died, so that would make him the oldest known FORMER wrestler. All joking aside, it's weird to think that a guy who probably made his debut around the time Lou Thesz was BORN just died.
ROH Results From Detroit: 3/30 and 3/31
ROH returned to Detroit to run the same town as Wrestlemania the weekend leading into the big show, which they have now done two years in a row.
3/30: All Star Extravaganza III
Night one of ROH's Wrestlemania weekend double shot in Detroit featured a ton of surprises, a public appearance by Bruno Sammartino and a title change. You can read 411's own Brad Garoon and Jacob Ziegler's live report here.
The title change was probably the most noteworthy event of the evening, as Jay Briscoe more or less singlehandedly defeated Shingo and Naruki Doi to regain the ROH World Tag Team Title. Why singlehandedly, you ask? Mark Briscoe landed wrong on a shooting star press to the floor and banged his head coming down, and despite trying to tell ROH officials that he wanted to continue the match, was actually put on a stretcher and taken to the hospital Word is that he is believed to have suffered a concussion, and the crowd was said to be quiet and somewhat uncomfortable watching the rest of the match. After it was over, Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin came out and challenged the Briscoes to defend the title against them when they return to Chicago on 4/28.
Other big matches saw Jimmy Jacobs & Lacey defeat BJ Whitmer & Daizee Haze, Brent Albright defeat Nigel McGuinness thanks to a distraction by Chris Hero, Roderick Strong successfully defend the FIP Heavyweight Title against Jack Evans, Masaki Mochizuki defeat Davey Ricahrds, and Homicide defeat Christopher Daniels. Following Homicide's win, we got another surprise: the return of Jim Cornette to ROH at the side of Adam Pearce and Shane Hagadorn to beat Homicide down. Also, Bruno Sammartino made another appearance for ROH, and Brad and Jacob said it was much like the GBH5 speech in New York City, but this time Larry Sweeney came out with Chris Hero and Tank Toland. Toland challenged Bruno to an arm wrestling contest, and when Bruno refused they appeared to be about to attack Bruno, but Nigel McGuinness came out and ran them off.
Other matches saw Adam Pearce win a Four Corner Survival over Colt Cabana, Chris Hero, and Matt Sydal, FIP mainstay Erick Stevens debuted with a win over Alex Payne, Dragon Gate's YAMATO defeated Pelle Primeau, and in the main event CIMA, Ryo Saito, Dragon Kid, and Susumu Yokosuka defeated Austin Aries, Claudio Castagnoli, Rocky Romero, and Delirious in what was said to be a very good match.
3/31: Supercard Of Honor II
This brings us to last night, and this didn't have anything earth-shattering either, but some interesting stuff went down. The big one for me was that Jimmy Jacobs defeated BJ Whitmer in the steel cage and now has presumably won their feud because I have no idea where else they could possibly go from here. I definitely had this pegged as the night Whitmer finally puts away Jacobs and the big Jacobs-Lacey split happened, but I guess not. Following up on last night's Mark Briscoe injury, he was out of action tonight and their scheduled match against Christopher Daniels & Matt Sydal turned into Jay & Delirious teaming instead, and Delirious defeated Sydal to win the match for his team.
Johnny Fairplay has apparently joined Chris Hero's entourage along with Larry Sweeney and Tank Toland, but it didn't amount to a win for Chris Hero, who was defeated by Nigel McGuinness. A new addition didn't go very well for the No Remorse Corps either, as Rocky Romero joined up and teamed with Davey Richards, only to be defeated by Jack Evans & Naruki Doi. The NRC is off to a really rough start, except for Roderick Strong, who successfully retained the FIP Title against Austin Aries after powerbombing him on the guardrail and making him pass out in the Stronghold.
One year after the end of their brutal feud against one another, Colt Cabana and Homicide teamed up to defeat Adam Pearce & Brent Albright. It started as a singles match between Homicide and Albright, but Pearce and Cabana ended up running in and it turned into a tag match. Other matches saw Claudio Castagnoli defeat YAMATO, Erick Stevens had another dominating win, this time over Mitch Franklin, and in what was said to be another amazing main event featuring the Dragon Gate guys, CIMA, Shingo, and Susumu Yokosuka defeated Dragon Kid, Ryo Saito, and Masaki Mochizuki.
ROH returns to action in two weeks, Friday The 13th in Long Island (appropriately enough) and Saturday the 14th in Edison, New Jersey and, in my neverending quest to drag myself to any ROH show within a day's drive, I'll be at both and I can't wait, becuase both shows will feature the return of...MORISHIMA.
I LOVE FEEDBACK!!!
Got a couple of notes on my Stumania Awards in That Was Then, and both pretty much said the same thing:
From Ian Brogden:
How the hell did HBK not get a mention – he is fricking Mr Wrestlemania!!!
Surely you could have made up a ‘Best WM performer' category for him.
And from Dominick281:
I have to diagree with some of your decisions.
Best WrestleMania moment: Even though Savage and Elizabeths reunion was good I have to say that it is behind Hogan slaming Andre at WM III and Benoit and Guerrero celebration at the end of WM XX.
Best Match: Austin vs. Hart isn't even close to Savage vs. Steamboat at WM III and HHH vs. Benoit vs. Michaels at WM XX.
Mr. WrestleMania: Hogan isn't even close Michaels at Mania.
I hate to disagree with both of you guys, especially considering what a huge Shawn Michaels mark I am, but while I consider Michaels the greatest of all time in terms of his in-ring performances, he just doesn't compare to Hogan at Wrestlemania. For one, he only main evented three times, and only won one of those. He's actually got a really bad record at Wrestlemania, classic performances notwithstanding. Hogan, on the other hand, main evented eight out of the first nine years, then was in the match that was pushed as the feature contest despite not being the main event at WM18 and WM19. He's only lost twice at Wrestlemania, and both times were designed to put over the next big thing who was supposed to take over after Hogan was gone. He's beaten Bundy, Andre, Savage, Vince, and lost close matches to Warrior and Rock. That sounds a little better than losing to Tatanka, know what I mean? Believe me, I'd love to put him up there, but if I'm being impartial (which I was, for once) I can't put him up there.
But to address Dominick's other points, I don't think Savage vs Steamboat was anywhere near the greatest match in Wrestlemania history. Even if you take both Austin vs Hart and the WM20 three way out of the equation, there were better matches. Both ladder/TLC matches at WM16/17 were way better, and even in terms of straight up wrestling matches, I thought Bret vs Owen at WM10 blew Savage vs Steamboat away. I will admit that it was a little closer for the Wrestlemania moment, as the choice basically came down to the Savage/Liz reunion and the two things you mentioned. All three were great moments, but I picked the one that was the most emotionally moving for me.
The Last Word On Wrestlemania 23
This is it folks, Wrestlemania 23 is tonight, and I have to say that I'm looking forward to it a lot more than I was to Wrestlemania 22. Ever since I started watching wrestling in 1991, WM22 was the first one I didn't buy live, but this year is a totally different story. I think they've done a great job building this show, all the top matches have a lot of depth to their storylines and, unlike last year, you really don't know who's going to win some of the top matches.
Case in point, John Cena vs Shawn Michaels. While common wisdom would say that Cena beats Michaels to add another notch to his Belt O' Credibility, Shawn has been outshining him since Triple H went down with the injury, and he was in the top storyline over Cena going back to the DX vs Vince feud. Even though it could be a cut and dry case, I wouldn't be at all surprised to see Michaels walk out with the title. Remember, everyone thought Triple H was winning last year, and he was supposed to get the shot again this year. I doubt he was planning to job to the same guy two years in a row, so if Cena was booked to lose the title anyway, it could very possibly wind up on Michaels. But being that it is the main event and all, Michaels is going to put on a show whether he's winning or not. In fact, he's shown in the past that when he is booked to lose, he'll put in the extra effort to show why he should have won.
What we now know is going to be the semi-main at best is Batista defending the World Title against the Undertaker, title vs streak. Like I said above, I thought that this should have gone on last, especially since an Undertaker win over Batista (which is almost a certainty) would probably send the crowd home happier than a Cena win over Michaels. Eitehr way, Las Vegas odds are heavily in Undertaker's favor, and I really hope they don't do something stupid by having him lose just to swerve people because it will be meaningless the next day and one of the last great legacies will have been ruined.
Bobby Lashley vs Umaga...well, we all know Lashley's winning because there's no way Trump would agree to have his head shaved, but I think the real tragedy in this is that there is absolutely zero focus on the fact that Lashley is ECW World Champion and Umaga is Intercontinental Champion. These are two titles that are, theoretically speaking, important, and I think that focusing on them would add another dimension to what is already an important match, and by doing so it would get the winner over that much more by being able to say they beat another champion.
For Money In The Bank, I really have no idea who they're planning to have win. Of course I'd love to see CM Punk win, but I doubt that's going to happen just yet. I'd say the most likely choices are Edge or Kennedy, but you never know how these matches are going to be booked. Last year's MITB was a bit of a letdown compared to the first one, so let's hope that with the talent they have in there this year that they pick it up a notch.
To wrap things up, I honestly couldn't care less about the Women's Title match and I'd be willing to bet that neither could most of you. I'm pretty sure the New Breed's going over the ECW Originals, but I think it would be nice for the Originals to get their last hurrah at the big stage, especially since I think the feud's going to continue until the inevitable New Breed victory. Kane and Khali is going to be sucktastic even though Kane's going to do his damndest to carry him. I do think that Chris Benoit vs MVP has the chance to be the sleeper hit of the night much like Benoit vs Angle at WM17. I've seen a lot of MVP's stuff from when he was Antonio Banks in FIP, and I definitely think he can keep up with Benoit, and if Benoit's on his game and willing to make MVP look good (like he usually does), we could be in for a good one if they're given enough time. I definitely expect MVP to walk out with the title.
Even as an ROH snoot, I can admit that Wrestlemania is the biggest show of the year and odds are that even if the rest of WWE's TV sucks year round, Wrestlemania is the one show worth buying. But if you're going to be a cheapskate, you can catch up with 411's live coverage starting with the preshow at 7:30pm!
We Got Links Out The Ass
First and foremost, go check out the 411 Wrestlemania Roundtable, which was so large that it was broken up into three parts. We got an awesome turnout for this, and damn near everyone in the wrestling zone and even a few people from the other zones show up to discuss tonight's big show, so go check out Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3.
Joe Estee breaks down tonight's Batista vs Undertaker match in the debut edition of Keys To The Game.
Requisite self pimping: I appear several times this week, and here's links to my picks for the best and worst of Wrestlemania in That Was Then and all the ECW and TNA you can shake a stick at in Friendly Competition.
Zac Calhoun's got part 2 of his Wrestlemania special in The Ripple Effect.
Sat & Uncle Trunx debate the merits of the New Breed vs ECW Originals feud in the latest edition of High Road/Low Road.
Mike Minotti makes his 411 debut in Can They Be Champ?, in which he looks at the participants of the Money In The Bank match and gives us his thoughts on their future prospects.
This is where I would usually plug Column Of Honor, but the column appears to have been hijacked by Chris Hero this week.
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That's it for me. Everyone enjoy Wrestlemania and don't forget to check out our live coverage starting at 7:30 with the preshow. I'll see you in one week, when it'll be time to figure out what direction everything's going with WM23 in the books. I'll see you then, thanks for reading.
