Schmozzes & Screwjobs 04.03.07: The Screwjobless Edition
Posted by Daniel Wilcox on 04.03.2007
It's just like a normal column, but without the Screwjob. So, welcome all to the first ever edition of.... Schmozzes!
Happy Tuesday afternoon everybody! As the teaser line suggests today will be a little different than the usual edition of Schmozzes & Screwjobs because as it so happens, there's no Screwjob at all today. This column is dedicated to one thing and one thing only and that's WrestleMania 23 and its aftermath. It's still just 48 hours since Mania went down Sunday night but I have all ready rewatched the show twice to make sure I've got all my thoughts together for today's column. After I've given you all my thoughts we'll segue way into Part II of my look at what WWE needs to have their greatest year ever and then there might be some other stuff along the way including the Reader Feedback section. So
Welcome to the show
Please come inside
BOOM!
WrestleMania Thoughts
Money in the Bank Ladder Match One of the questions I had going into this match was will the 8 men be too many for this kind of match? As it turns out I think it did in some small way because no-one really had an opportunity to shine in their own spotlight. Until Edge was taken out of the match he dominated a hell of a lot and looked like he could be on the way to a second Money in the Bank victory but other than that no-one really stepped up like Shelton Benjamin has done in previous years. What I really liked about the match was the way it started several of the guys attempted to climb the ladder as quickly as possible and get a quick win which would then lead to several spots thrown together. This all lead up to our one HUGE spot of the match. One ladder was set up horizontally balancing on the guard rail and ring apron while another BIG ladder was set up in the middle of the ring. Matt Hardy threw Edge on the horizontal ladder and encouraged his brother Jeff to jump down on him from the ladder in the ring. Jeff was in two minds which always leads to confusion for that Charismatic Enigma, and eventually Jeff decided to go for it. He broke Edge and the ladder IN HALF! FUCKING AWESOME SPOT. That spot took both Hardy and Edge out of the match as Edge was stretchered to the back while Jeff was never to be seen again Sunday night. Then the match kind of went off in a different direction as Finlay, Punk, Booker, Orton and Kennedy stepped up. Each got in their own cool spots including an RKO off the ladder on Punk and a Green Bay Plunge from Mr Kennedy on HORNSWOGGLE in an awesome WrestleMania moment. Kennedy and Punk would be the last two guys involved which is surely a good sign for CM who looked good towards the end of the match. As most predicted, Kennedy went over and delivered a great promo backstage afterwards. Now Mr. Money in the Bank has several options. He can go after our new World Champion The Undertaker and renew their old feud or he could switch to Raw like he said he wanted to do way back in October of last year and challenge John Cena. The third, less likely option is a move to ECW where he and Lashley can pick up where they left off before Mania but that one is doubtful. Whichever he chooses I predict that 2007 will be a HUGE year for Kennedy and I also predict he will be in one of the two main events at WrestleMania 24 in Orlando next year.
As far as match quality goes, most people have said that this years MITB did not live up to the previous two but I would have to disagree. I don't think it was any better but it was a damn fine match. Take King Booker and Finlay out and keep it at six guys and I think this could've been looking at nearer five stars. But as it is it was just a REALLY good opener that the crowd was hot. Perhaps it needed one or two more BIG spots or even a little more selling would've helped. I'll go **** on this one.
Kane vs. The Great Khali This was a million times better than it had any right to be. Khali is slowly but surely improving and Kane is still a decent enough big man. I did mention in last weeks column and the WM Roundtable that I thought this could get near two stars and I think if you're looking at entertainment value it did. They had some nice spots in there such as Khali no-selling the Kane top rope clothesline (I totally marked for that) and Kane's monster slam which got another big pop from the Detroit crowd. I was slightly bummed by the ending but that is just a small gripe and if they had to do the post match beatdown it should have gone a little longer to really sell it. Totally inoffensive match here that just about deserved its place on the card. Not quite the ** that I predicted but not far off either - *½
ECW Originals vs. The New Breed As many have stated, this match was kind of just there and didn't really add much to the card but I totally marked for the Originals entering through the crowd and when they got the win at the end. My main quibble with this is that it only went 6 minutes or so which is just too damn short for an 8 man tag match, especially when the show ended 20 minutes early meaning there was plenty of time to make a great match here. The other thing is that the crowd were dead until Rob Van Dam was in the ring which is a shame, but not the wrestlers fault. I'm just so glad it looks like the Originals will be sticking around at least a little while longer. One more thing, the ORIGINALS WENT OVER! *Marks out.* This was nothing special though, so it gets **. Not bad.
Battle of the Billionaires: Umaga vs. Bobby Lashley I found this match to be uninspiring at worst, but not particularly bad. They did do some cool stuff in the opening stages such as Umaga's bump to the floor which was totally fucking awesome but when it got to the final stages and the Sports Entertainment really kicked in it got much more interesting. The crowd finally came alive for Umaga and Stone Cold's interaction and Trump taking down McMahon and then of course we got the WrestleMania moment we'd all been waiting for. Mr. McMahon getting his head shaved bald. They pulled this all together really nicely and to no-ones surprise it was Stone Cold Steve Austin who came out of it looking the best as he got to deliver Stone Cold Stunners to just about everyone. I just hope he sticks around for a few more weeks so I can mark the fuck out for him in London on April 23rd. Wrestling wise this was quite bland but for entertainment value I'll give it ***.
Overall I think this was a great Mania. In my opinion every single match lived up to and in many cases surpassed the expectations with the only possible exception being the ECW match which I thought would be better than it was. Even Kane/Khali and the Women's match was better than I ever thought they would be and I was pleasantly surprised by Taker/Batista. I was also happy with the way most of the matches went down and thus I only have minor grievances with the show, but let's not get negative by going over them again.
The Schmozz Count
So it was the week leading to Mania and I'd have bet we got a few Schmozzes along the way, but let's look what really happened.
Raw 1, Khali vs. Flair
ECW 0, ECW kicks all kinds of ass!
Impact 0, was Russo off sick this week?
SmackDown! 1, Khali vs. Hardy
WrestleMania 23 0, thank God!
Fucking Khali, ruining what would have been a good week! I hate you Khali!
Schmozz Count: 33 + 2 = 35!
Half Time
I finally found some time to do proper plugs this week and there's a hell of a lot of new columns to plug this week so here you go;
Vinz Rothenburg brings the second edition of The Timewarp where he looks at Lance Hoyt in an Ultimate X Match.
In this weeks The Piledriver Report, Ronny Sarnecky looks at March Madness and has some Mania predictions.
O'Dog brings The Goodness with a look at SmackDown's move to Friday nights and if it has effected the blue brand.
Samuel Berman looks into his Box in the Attic and finds a 8 year old edition of Heat. Lucky him.
Ask 411 Wrestling challenges questions about Flair/Bockwinkel, Zack Gowen, ICP and Mr Kennedy with Steve Cook.
Truth B Told this week looks at how the Battle of the Billionaires is the true main event of WrestleMania and Bayani Domingo decides he didn't like my Shawn Michaels picture last week because it was "too gay," so I PMed him the HBK pics from Playgirl.
In his 411 debut, Rob Halden tells us Mick Foley is an Idiot And Here's Why. It's a great debut but his final comment kind of pissed me off a little.
Week One Hundred and Twenty Two of Fact or Fiction sees Larry Csonka and Arnold Furious debate such topics as Mania 23 being the greatest ever, it's drawing power and the MITB match.
Sat and Uncle Trunx examine the New Breed vs. Originals feud in this weeks a href= http://www.411mania.com/wrestling/columns/52404/High-Road-Low-Road-03.30.07:-The-New-Breed-vs.-The-Originals.htm> High Road/Low Road.
The WrestleMania Roundtables are all finished now but if you missed any you should go back and check em all out as well as Wrestler Of The Week, The Shimmy, The Triple Threat, Fink's Payload and everything else I may have missed out.
False Finishes and Fan Cams
Last week I stated that if Vince really thinks his heading to a new boom period, he's going to need to change a few things up. I already mentioned Tag Teams and Cruisers need to either step up or go away or something to that effect. I also said that they should bring back the Draft Lottery this year and shake up the rosters so we get some fresh feuds and such. So here's Part 2!
King of the Ring More of the same, please - This was something that was done really well last year when they brought it back; all the matches got good time and it was all played up as a really big deal. This year I'd like to see them make it a tri-brand thing and do three separate tournaments leading to a Triple Threat final at Summerslam. My first pick for winner would have been Mr. Kennedy but now he is Mr. Money in the Bank there is no need for him to even be in the tournament so here's how I would now do the brackets;
Raw's Tournament:
Randy Orton vs. Edge
Edge vs. Carlito
Kenny Dykstra vs. Carlito
Johnny Nitro vs. Carlito
Johnny Nitro vs. Ric Flair
Jeff Hardy vs. Johnny Nitro
Chris Masters vs. Jeff Hardy
SmackDown's Tournament:
MVP vs. Matt Hardy
MVP vs. Chris Benoit
Chris Benoit vs. William Regal
MVP vs. Rey Mysterio
Finlay vs. King Booker
Finlay vs. Rey Mysterio
Gregory Helms vs. Rey Mysterio
ECW's Tournament:
Rob Van Dam vs. Matt Striker
Rob Van Dam vs. Elijah Burke
Elijah Burke vs. Sabu
CM Punk vs. Elijah Burke
CM Punk vs. Marcus Cor Von
CM Punk vs. Snitsky
Tommy Dreamer vs. Snitsky
So in the three semi-finals, Nitro beats Carlito, MVP beats Mysterio and Punk goes over Burke leaving us with a great Triple Threat final at Summerslam. From there I could make good arguments for any of the three to win it but whoever does, it'd be a huge step in becoming a star like King Booker did last year. And you cannot deny we'd get many great matches from those brackets.
Competition TNA's second hour - If Impact gets given its second hour by Spike TV before July, then they will be getting 2.0 ratings by the end of the year I guarantee it. McMahon said himself WWE does better when it has some serious competition but right now TNA just isn't competition at the moment. As soon as they get than extra hour, they will be. So come on, Spike, find some time for the likes of Jay Lethal and Petey Williams! Give em another hour!
And that'll (probably) do it for this little series. There may be more next week if I think of anything extra, but that's just a few ideas to think about if you're expecting another boom like Vinny Mac is.
Reader Feedback
Samer is back with his thoughts n my Mania predictions and some other sutff;
Hello again..
I will go through ur thoughts on the cruiseweight and tag team division before jumping onto ur Wrestlemania predicitons..
I think it's the same shit every year, the WWE comes up with some plans to revive the tag team division then they drop it.. Going into 2007, the WWE had Crime tyme, a newly debuted tag team, who were suprisingly over, they became number one contenders.. then vanished! TWGTT were reunited only to wrestle singles matches on heat! MNM are a thing of history since joey has been released, and they dunno what to do with the hardyz.. Regal and Taylor haven't appeared on smackdown since??? well i can't remember. Deuce and Domino wrestled for the title then dissapeared.. hell even La resistance re-debuted on ECW for one night and dissapeared.. i guess u got my point. Both tag team titles aren't being defended on the main WM card.
As for the cruiserweights, well they're still getting some TV time, but i'm sure the same thing will happen, plus the title isn't being defended on the main card either..
I think that's the problem with the WWE, they're really undecided about many things.. JBL was trying to put over the tag team renaissance for weeks, and it seemed like it was going to happen, and after some great matches between the hardyz and MNM as well as K & L vs Regal and taylor (including the awesome ladder match) it was the perfect oppurtunity to relive the great TLC days.
They're undecided about cryme time, D & D as well... They're undecided about many other things.. Weren't they pushing super crazy? well not anymore, why not jump him to smackdown then where they're supposidly are building a CW division? Nitro appears to be a total jobber. Hell he was sent with the jobbers to attack lashley last night on Raw.. Cade, murdock, Masters.. and NITRO!
Now to the exciting part and that's the WM predicitons..
One by One:
Kane vs Khali: well i disagree with u, i expect Khali to pick up the win.. I think it's the WWE has no plans for Kane at all. And just like Umaga beat him, same thing happens here.. It's going to be ugly, but we know what's with Vince and Huge guys.
Chris Benoit vs MVP: MVP picks up the win for the reasons u mentioned, and while i'm the biggest Benoit mark ever, i actually don't have a problem with that, as long as they can put on a good show, we don't have to worry about Benoit, but it's MVP who should raise his game, and the crippler will definitly carry him to a good match, i hope they get some time. And having Benoit Jump to Raw can be really good for him, as i totally agree with u that he and Cena can put on some great matches.
Women's Championship: Ahsley wins, but the WWE is making a big mistake. Melina is the most over female carracter, and they should keep the title on her..
ECW originals vs New breed: This feud SHOULD continue until ONS 3, otherwise there is no reason for the whole ECW brand to continue... i heard rumors about the NB winning, and WWE releasing Sandman and Sabu straight after that.. While it might be true, it doesn't make sense at all.. I mean who are we supposed to see on ONS 3? But i'm guessing the new breed pick up the win here.. Also this match should be made under extreme rules in order for it to make some sense..
BOTB: no doubt lashley wins, and i gotta admit, the build up has been excellent.. though we saw too much vince that it became slightly annoying.. But Austin, Umaga, Lashley and the rare Donald appearances managed to keep things interresting.
MINB 3: while i already told u my opinion about this one in my previous E-mail, i gotta agree that the WWE made a great job of making this seem like a major match on the show. The build up has been fatastic, and the edition of Cutting Edge on Raw last night, brought some more hype to the match, and i expect it to live up to it.. As for the winner, i'm kinda confused.. i guess we can agree, that Booker, Finlay, Matt and jeff have Zero chance of winning. Matt and Jeff are there for the spots, and Booker and Finlay are the veterans to hold the match together. As for the remaining participants.. It doesn't make sense for Edge to win because he already has, unless they wanna keep his undefeated mania streak. I doubt that Orton will win but i expect him to be close, with Edge preventing him at the last second, so their feud hots up some more. As for CM Punk, well if his reaction on Raw last night meant anything (though it was his hometown) , it's that this guy can be a HUGE star for the WWE, he's still over, they shouldn't drop the ball with him. I see him as a dark horse. And by the process of elemination the logical choice becomes, MR. KENNEDY! and somehow i expect him to use that title shot against Cena. That would be a cool feud.
Taker vs Batista: I'm going for a taker win here mainly because i'll be damned if Batista ends his streak.. I do not, i repeat I DO NOT want to see batista end taker's streak. He's been the champ since November, and well his reign hasn't been that good, nothing too memorable, his matches were mostly very poor.
Cena vs HBK: here is where i think ur wrong. Though i really hope u won't be, cuz i want HBK to win the title. However i doubt that the WWE will make two title switches, and i doubt that at the end of the night HBK and the Undertaker are our world champions, this isn't 1998. My prediction: Cena retains.
There it was, my predictions for WM, i think that no matter what, the show will be good, though the lack of titles being defended kinda annoys me.. And it just goes to show u, like i was saying earlier, how much the WWE cares about the tag titles, the CW title, and the intercontinental title. Hell even the US title match hasn't been properly build up. And don't get me started with the ECW title, which is supposed to be a MAJOR title. But like i said, this is Wrestlemania, and i'm all pumped up for it, and it will be a great show. At least it better be.
That's it for now.
Bye.
Samer makes some great points on the tag teams and cruisers. It looks like WWE have finally decided to pull the trigger on The Hardyz and make them tag team champs. Now they just need to get some faith in the others (WGTT, Cryme Tyme) and let them run with it on Raw. Hell, even Cade and Murdoch can be very entertaining. And I totally agree that Johnny Nitro needs a bigger push which is why I have booked him to the final of my fantasy booked King of the Ring.
Damn it, Samer was right about Kane/Khali. I didn't care for the result either way because neither guy interests me in the slightest at this point. But it looks like we were both wrong on the United States title match but we'll have to wait and see if our dream switch to Raw happens now Benoit still has the title. Again, we both got the Women's match wrong but I agree it's a good decision to keep the title on Melina and it looks like they are going back to the feud with Mickie which is good for the division. Thankfully the Originals went over at Mania so it doesn't look like anyone is getting released anytime soon BUT, a rematch is scheduled for ECW tonight in an Extreme Rules match. I'd bet money the NB goes over. I hope that doesn't spell the end for the Os. Please. We agreed that Kennedy would win and we were right now it's just a case of who he goes after. I'd like to see a Kennedy/Cena feud in the future too; it'd be much better than more Taker/Kennedy at least. Samer had me on the main event too as Cena went over, but it looks like they are going to continue the feud to at least Backlash, so there is still hope of one last Shawn Michaels title reign. Hope you enjoyed Mania, Samer!
Double D Typo Wars winner Dominick checks in with some thoughts on my Draft Lottery picks and more;
Eyo. Good column this week. Heres what I think.
Draft Lottery
Raw
Mr. Kennedy: YES
JBL: I'm 50/50 on this due to the announce team
Hardcore Holly: I really don't care anymore
RVD: Why not
SmackDown!
Jeff Hardy: Maybe
Chris Masters: How bout we just fire his ass (more on that later)
Little Guido: Yes
Elijah Burke: Maybe later on
ECW
Super Crazy: I would put him back on SmackDown! to help the CW division
Charlie Hass: Eh
MVP: He's already doing fine on SmackDown!
Chris Benoit: YES as long as he eventually gets the title
Random Thoughts From Me
-Master Lock has been broken so whats the point in keeping Masters around anymore. If you haven't noticed he sucks ass and no one want an ass sucker.
-WM XXIV will be in Florida at the Citrus Bowl you know what that means right. No MITB IV. The could just have something like the Elevation X and use that as a roof.
-I don't want Lashley to lead the company in the future. I want Kennedy, Punk, Corvon, and maybe a new hire. I personlly just don't like him.
-Edge is going to loose. Kennedy's going to win. And I'm pissed. I love Kennedy and I actually don't want Edge to win but I don't want him to loose his streak yet. Sigh.
-I really hope Batista doesn't win. I'm watching Mania with my friends and we decided that if he wins we will go to Detroit, start a riot, kill Batista, and sell his title on eBay. Yeahhhhhhhh.
Well good column.
-Mr. Tuesday Night DOM
On your random thoughts; I'm actually a small fan of Masters as I think he has done OK with some bad booking, but he lost 99% of his credibility with the breaking of the Masterlock. They may as well keep him around as a jobber now. Or yeah, just fire his ass!
No MITB 4 at Mania would be fine with me, but if they wanted to I'm sure they'd find a way. I'd have thought they would have some sort of structure covering the ring anyway in case of bad weather so they would probably just use that. But I've always though that Money in the Bank would be better off as a Summerslam tradition. Not sure why, but I think a 6 man ladder match at the biggest event of the summer would be sexy (that's probably not the best word to use, but whatever).
I hate Lashley (still) so I'm with you on this. Who would I like to lead the company into the future? Cena, Kennedy, Punk, Nitro, MVP and maybe Cor Von or Randy Orton who celebrated his 27th birthday on Sunday (there's a fun fact you probably didn't know).
Edge's streak was five wins so I don't see it as that big a deal. Next year everyone will be saying that they can't end Rob Van Dam and Cena's streak (they are both 4-0). You don't need a winning streak to be a star of WrestleMania HBK has a pretty poor record at Mania but he is widely considered Mr. WrestleMania because he always puts on an amazing performance. If Edge keeps on doing that, losing Money in the Bank this year shouldn't hurt his credibility at all.
Damn it, Batista lost. I wanted to buy that belt on eBay. Good to hear from you, Dom.
My first piece of really hateful hate mail!
Hey bitch I think your column sucked. I mean my god what a shit of and idea for a column. You should quit now.
From,
NOT JP Prag
So if it's not from JP Prag, who the fuck sent it?! If I'm not back next week it's because I have taken NOT JP Prag's advice and quit.
And that's it for this week. Anyone who feels tempted to write in this week, please do because I'd love to hear what you thought about WrestleMania 23 and perhaps thoughts on my KotR brackets or even some ideas of your own.
Taking It Home
We'll be back to the regular format next week as I look at a Screwjob from the spring of 2000. That, and there'll be a whole bunch of other stuff to look forward, too. Until then, have a good week people.