WRestling’s 3R’s 4.06.07: Good and Evil at Lunch, HBK Hates Partners, ECW Gets to Shine, D-RAY 3000 the Spear Chucker, the Fallout from WrestleMania and More
Posted by Larry Csonka on 04.06.2007
All of that plus a special guest for Raw this week!
The 3R's of wRestling
Introduction~!
Welcome back kids for another edition of Wrestling's 3R's! As always I am Larry Csonka, along with me is my tag team partner "The Whole Geoffin Show" Geoff Eubanks. It is time again for that walk through the wild world of wrestling TV that we take each and every week. The good news is I am felling better, the bad news is that I am still not myself. This was one nasty bug that got me, but the good news is that Andy Clark had offered to help so you get to check out his thoughts on Raw this week! He also offered some ECW insight, so you get a double dose this week with some of his thoughts there as well! So sit back and relax as we get to work on breaking down the week that was in Wrestling!
411 on MySpace…
Yeah baby, the rumors are true! Go and check it out @ www.myspace.com/411mania
Dream Match Request…
Matt Classic vs. Curry Man; book that shit!
How the 3R's of wRestling Work!
Here is a quick explanation of the 3 R's. I will take the 5 main shows (6 if I go RetRo) of the week: TNA Impact, WWE Raw, ECW on Sci-Fi and WWE Smackdown. If we have a PPV, that show will get a special PPV edition of the R's all to its own. I then group my feelings on the shows in various categories: The Right, the wRong and the Ridiculous. The Right is stuff that worked very well: a great promo, a great match and so on. PuRgatoRy is a section between the right and wrong. It shows equal traits from both sides that cannot be ignored and need discussed. It is not a bad place per say, as things can get remedied or go the wrong way the very next week. The wRong is what it sounds like: bad matches, bad or boring promos and so on. The Ridiculous is stuff that had no right on TV: Stupid angles, Diva searches and so on. And there is always a possibility of a 5th R, which is as bad as they come, unless you are TNA. They have a special R all of their own, the 6th R; the Russo-FN-Riffic~!
This column is supposed to be analytical, and at the right time very critical of the shows, it was the whole reason it was created. This is not a "mark" column, nor a "smark" column, I cannot speak for Geoff, but my goal is to analyze the show from many different fronts, reward the good and call out the bad. There are also occasions where I will bring out a 4th, 5th or even a 6th R to the column, so beware of those~! I will not apologize for my opinions, they are as they are, whether very positive or negative.
iMpact!:
iMpact 3.29.06:
The Right:
Storm/Moore vs. Harris/Gail & Roode, Petey, Young - This past week on Impact James Storm battled Eric Young. I think it was Byers who said he missed the simplicity and fun of Eric Young's singles matches on Impact. I agree, he's fun, the crowd is into it and that only helps Storm in the process. Miss Jackie distracts EY, he eats a superkick and then takes the pin. This brought down Harris and Gail to continue the AMW and ladies feud, which I have really liked thus far. Finally it also seems as if Roode and Young's deal is coming along with the inclusion of everyone's hero Petey Williams. TEAM CANADA EXPLODES~! This should be a fun gap until we find out who EY's friend is. Overall solid stuff and no complaints here.
puRgatory:
Building Lockdown…the Battle for Tomko! - They once again had the main focus on the Lockdown PPV and for the most part the main event of that show, which is where it should be. It began with Christian meeting up with Tomko, and Tomko blowing him off. Then later on Cage came out to announce Abyss on the team and then Tomko, but that didn't seem to be in the cards because Tomko wanted the title shot he was promised NOW. This insulted Cage, and the rest of the team he promised title shots to, which brought out Kurt Angle. Angle decided that since he lost Abyss, he would try to steal Tomko away, thinking since he was pissed, he would be a good teammate. Cornette ended up making "The Battle For Tomko" as the main event for the evening. As far as the battle for Tomko, well I have seen worse and as much as I joke about it, I actually didn't have much of a problem with it. But the point is this, once again we got a "swerve" for the sake of swerves. No reason or rhyme to it, they just did it. If they wanted to be creative, instead of swerving to swerve, they should have had him join Team Angle like he was going to, and then in the match he turns and makes it into a 6 on 4 match. You see, that is interesting, that is being a heel, that's sneaky and creating. Not a swerve for the sake of serving people on TV. That is just stupid. That is WCW in the last years, and that is stupid. It really disappoints me, because they have a ton of potential but always take the lazy way out booking wise.
12:35…closer - Hey, about a minute more than last week, so we are slowly improving. As I have said in the past and will maintain to say as long as needed, they need to offer up as close to as much wrestling time as there are commercials. There are 18-20 minutes of commercials per episode of Impact. So hence forth as I have said, I feel that there should be around 15-18-minutes of wrestling action per week, minimum on Impact. Sure there are times when you can have more story than in ring action, but the fact that this is a regular occurrence is disturbing. And that's all I have to say about that.
The wRong:
Good and Evil at Lunch - All right, let me get this straight. Sting and Mitchell have been in a blood feud over the soul of Chris Abyss for months now. Sting and Abyss have brutal matches, they try to kill each other but in the end Sting and Chris Abyss are friends and tag team together. Mitchell returns with Chris Abyss' mom and lures him away, so that Sting can get his ass beat. Sting obviously upset with this situation invites Jim Mitchell…to lunch? Yes, Sting and Jim Mitchell, dressed as normal people sat and had a nice lunch together. They discussed Chris Abyss' soul over some grilled chicken salad and a lovely Merlot. Truth be told, this is how meetings between good and evil go really. I know these things. So anyway we find out from Mitchell that supposedly Chris Abyss's Mom shot their dad, and Chris covered it up and did the time to protect him mom. Mitchell says he will tell the police what she did if Abyss doesn't do what he says, and then in the most heelish thing ever, he STICKS STING with the bill! Sting may be a fair detective, but he sucks as a face and at law. Damn man; watch some "The Practice" dude, double Jeopardy. Let Mitchell tell the police that the mom did it, Chris Abyss insists he did and since there is no evidence and he served the time, he can't be retried and is free. Come on man, you shooting a TV storyline, use some TV logic here!
The Ridiculous:
The Six Sides of Steel Xcape match - I think I wrote something like this last year. Oh yes, March 31st 2006: Six Sides of Suck - That may be a little harsh, but the fact is that it wasn't that good of a match. Last week I discussed them doing the match and while I understood their point of view, I didn't agree with it. You are about to run an all cage match PPV so you shouldn't be giving one away for free, and if you do you should give one away that will be really good to temp the buyer. Between the commercial breaks and it just not being that great I never got into the match, which is a shame because I like both teams. I will say that the hot beat down angle helped things, but the fact remains that they may have failed at what they were trying. That's right, they gave away a cage match just weeks before an all cage match PPV last year as well. I cannot explain to you how stupid I think this is. They are trying to build to a PPV that features all cage matches, so they just go ahead and toss one on TV for free. Sure, that's a great fucking plan guys. I'm sorry, does nobody understand the art of selling a show anymore? This shit really pisses me off. They have tons of cage match footage, they should be showing 30-60 second video packages through out the shows to be hyping the PPV and the cage matches. Show some clips of the past Xcape matches to hype the one that they are undoubtedly putting on this PPV. Instead they use stupid and lazy booking and give away a free cage match on TV, stupid! Also, the match, which was fine, had one of the stupidest endings. Ok, of you and someone else are hanging from a cage, and you slam their head off that cage and they get knocked out (for the sake of argument) they fall off and to the floor and would win! Why would you do this? Please, this is the 2nd time I have seen them do this finish for the match, STOP!
SmackDown!: By: "The Whole Geoffin Show" Geoff Eubanks
SmackDown 3.30.06
Well, because I had better things to do with my day than waste $50 on WrestleMania, I'll hand over the opening this week to the incomparable Todd Vote, who weighs in with his opinions of the PPV:
Anyway, my thoughts on Mania? Thumbs solidly in the middle of the road. The good was really good. The bad was absolutely atrocious. I can't believe the likes of London and Kendrick, the longest reigning champs in recent memory were left off the show, so we could have a 3-minute women's match, and the Kane vs. Khali match. Was I the only one that was expecting Kane to get his hook into Khali? They sure have been acting like that would happen leading up to the event. The only redeemable factor in that match was the look on Kane's face when he slammed the big idiot.
Don't get me started on the women, when Melina was on Smackdown, all's I heard was how talented she was, and how she should be on Raw, because she is a good wrestler. Where the hell did those skills go when she finally got to Raw? Because from what I seen Mickie couldn't even carry her to a decent match. But yet here we are, she is expected to have a match with an even less talented Diva. Meanwhile Shelton Benjamin sits in the back, eating nachos, or making fun of his partners cornrows, or whatever...I just know that there were far more talented wrestlers that should have been on this show.
The Originals vs. New Breed was decent, but was not given enough time to properly end the feud, and should have been extreme rules. Apparently they would rather give that away on free television, as the match last night was awesome in my opinion.
The stuff that was good was really good, like Cena vs. Michaels, and Batista vs. Undertaker. Money in the Bank was awesome as I am a huge mark for Kennedy, but I had a thought in the back of my head that Kennedy was going to challenge the winner of the Michaels Cena match to close out the PPV. It never happened, so I was a bit bummed about that.
Overall, I would rate WM as such: overall 6 out of 10
matches:
MIB3: 3.5 out of 5
Kane vs. Khali 1 out of 5 just for the WM3 flashback body slam.
Batista vs. Taker: 4 out of 5
Lashley vs. Umaga: 2.5 out of 5.
Ashley vs. Melina: I agree with Larry, this was the ass of the night. and the trash...
Originals vs. New Blood: 2 out of five (given the talent involved, this could have been so much better, not even a WM Pounce!!!)
Cena vs. HBK: 4.5 out of 5, even with the predictable finish.
Am I happy I paid $50 for this show? No....Am I happy that all the poor saps that came over to watch it each gave me a 10 spot, HELLZ YEAH!!
Anyway, that was my thoughts on the show, and if I left a match out, that should tell you the lasting impression it had on me.
The Right:
JBL conducts the GREATEST INTERVIEW IN SMACKDOWN! HISTORY!!! – Or not. Although the bait & switch in JBL's concern on The Road To WrestleMania became a bit tiresome (especially as JBL, since transitioning to the announce position, is more popular than half the performers whose matches he calls), but I suppose it is eleventh hour McMahonagement booking. Besides, we all know, once one becomes an announcer, all bets are off…just ask Hall of Famer Jim Ross. Why Steve Austin is here, I'm not sure, either (other than to pop the crowd and initialize a bit of segment heat), but he's certainly welcome wherever, whenever. All that aside, once we actually, you know, got the participants in the ring, things got a tad tense, well expected, and quite a good thing. As I've mentioned before, this program was set up relatively early on and, as such, it appeared the stakes involved (Batista's WT versus The Undertaker's undefeated WM streak) were the main thrust behind the match and, as it was set early, the program felt as if it was riding on those stakes, thus the somewhat lackluster build. However, we had a hell of a pull-apart here tonight as the sloooooow burn animosity finally combusted. Great final installment to send us to the big show on Sunday, even if it was a little too much too late, and, considering the match's placement on the PPV, we kinda see where this title, and, thus, this brand, ranks in the WWE hierarchy, but that's never been much of a secret. Incidentally, when your challenger is announced after your champion in such an environment, if you were surprised that Taker won the gold, congratulations, you're a mark…and not smart at ALL. Thanks for coming.
CASH MONEY!!! – We were mercifully spared any live shilling for any angle not actually involving SD! this week, and were simply treated to some video vignettes instead, which is the way it ought to be, although was thoroughly surprising to me, quite frankly. I figured we'd be forced to sit through a :20 promo from Vince in some vomit-inducing jacket with The Jolly Green Giant (Lashley) standing across the ring passively glaring half the time.
No, instead, we (finally) focused on $ITB3 tonight, fitting since the bulk of the eight men involved (as well as the winner, Mr. Kennedy, as I predicted) are SD! roster members. Not that THAT means anything anymore. We had three KICK ASS matches tonight involving six of the eight participants (we'll get to the Edge/Matt Hardy situation in a moment), complete with the briefcase suspended from the ceiling as well as the trademark HUGEASS ladder chilling ringside for effect. Suffice to say I was stoked on Jeff Hardy/Randy Orton and CM Punk/King Bookah, and was very pleasantly surprised to see the quality of chemistry between each pairing (and I have to say, I really like seeing Punk on SD!). The fact is, WWE put all their eggs in one basket in this regard, as they basically placed all their best and most reliable performers in this match (or else inexplicably left them off the WM card altogether) and, as such, it makes sense that virtually any pairing of such performers would kick a fair amount of ass. I was disappointed that these matches only ran just over the five minute mark (well, Orton/Jeff went longer, but was dissected by an advert break), but it made absolute sense and was, again, a shrewd selling point, as the design left me wanting for more, the point of such an exercise on a go-home show. And because it was such a dream situation in my regard…
Wrestling match equation - Kennedy + Finlay = wrestling boner! *BOI-YOI-YOING!* Yeah, this gets its own mention, because it exemplified exactly what I was discussing above. MAN, talk about two longhorns hooking up! These guys were locked together, jockeying for position, longer than the duration of many Raw matches! This was just old school Territories wrestling, the quality of which we just don't see enough anymore! Holy cow, after that charging boot to head by Kennedy, I was expecting Finlay's face to be swiped to the side of his head, like Daffy Duck's bill after being blasted by Elmer Fudd's rifle in the "Wabbit Season Duck Season" cartoon! The fact that both men were booked to look quite even in the opening moments displaying very similar mindsets and tactics implies a whole "where will both go" nuance to $ITB3, which, as stated above, is picture-perfect booking! Well done, McMahonagement! See, it isn't so tough when you try…!
Long story short? Kennedy laid in some tough offense on the veteran after the early stalemate, but Finlay has The Little Bastard as a wildcard, both as a reliable comedy spot (and how about that LepreTon Bomb?!), and also won with The Celtic Cross. Considering that Kennedy won $ITB3, but that Finlay won out clean here tonight, one might be encouraged to think that The Fighting Irishman might be looking to challenge Mr. Money In The Bank for the briefcase at some point, and, if so, I wanna be on board for a 15:00-20:00 clash!
Billionaire bitchslap, indeed! – The footage of the WM press conference was glorious, if for no other reason than to see Vince get slapped across his indignant face without reprisal. Once in my life I wish I could be Donald Trump. *SMAK!* THAT'S for all those of years of shoving Hogan down my throat! Moving on, it was this situation that generated the mainstream media buzz surrounding WM23, and so, well done, Dr. Evil. I HATE you sometimes, but, when all is said and done, it can't be argued that you set a HELL of an example and do whatever must be done to make a situation involving yourself work.
Black man working – You know, I don't know where this angle involving Vickie Guerrero, Kristal Marshall and Thaddeus Long is going, but I'm really digging this slow burn build…again, tres old school. I also like that it appears McMahonagement is sowing seeds for post-WM programs…GOOD stuff, as I really miss the days when Dr. Evil would book back a year from the following WM. But, Teddy? I hope you meant Kristal's ass was tight, because I certainly doubt anything else…
puRgatory:
Some great heat begets a little campfire – The opening segment goes squarely into puRgatory because it was basically a good news/bad news situation.
Good news? We've got Edge on hand to pimp the $ITB3 match. My personal feelings toward Adam Copeland aside, he's undoubtedly evolved into a true main event player, both in the ring and on the mic and I'd be lying if I didn't admit seeing him in a SD! ring stirred memories of when he was on our side as part of the legendary SD!6. Ah, those were the days. It's going to be a shame to see RATED RKO split up because one of them is going to have to turn and Randy Orton plays a lousy face. However, considering the momentum Edge has gathered, he's clearly a stronger heel and it would be foolish to waste all of the cultivation having gone in to making him the asshole he's become on camera (he apparently has the off-camera assholism down on his own).
Anyway, we have Edge with still another installment of playing the chickenshit heel by weaseling out of his in-ring commitment after lying down a killer promo (a shrewd move on the part of McMahonagement as Edge manages to hyperbole his heat while protecting a shoot tender shoulder for the PPV); however, now we transition to the bad news…
The "scheduled" Edge/Matt Hardy match is scrubbed in favor of subbing Edge for Khali, and, in essence, Matt ends up looking like some noob tool TWICE; once, when being held back by the ref as he took a verbal slap in the face from Edge and then in the "match" where he took the typical no sell bullshit beat down from Nature's Little Oopsie. Matt was only spared a pinfall loss when Khali wandered out of the ring like Helen Keller searching for an eye donor after Kane's pyro exploded and The Big Red Monster appeared on the TwinTrons brandishing his Goodknight hook.
I understand we were striving for utility here, combining $ITB3 with Kane/Khali on the go-home and it could be argued that this was a way to keep the latter two at odds without an actual confrontation, but, on a show when all other seven performers were booked to look so strong and competitive, why single out one and sacrifice him to a match that had no business on the PPV in the first place?
The wRong:
Two brands, two champions, two titles – Okay, what I am about to touch upon occurred on Raw last Monday, but, as it involves one of my SD! performers, I feel entitled to mention it. So THE HARDY BOYS won the World Tag Team Titles following the Shawn Michaels screw job (no, not Montreal…Bret screwed Bret, remember?). Well and fine. Long time readers will know I am a HUGE Hardy mark, both Jeff and Matt. Thing is, Jeff is on Raw and Matt is on SD!. Exactly how will this work? SD! has its own tag titles, so, unless there's going to be some kind of flirtation with unifying the tag belts, then I assume Matt will be either pulling double-duty, performing in tag matches on Raw and (pointless) singles matches on SD!, or else he'll be moved to Raw outright, and, if the latter, I will be PISSED to be losing one of my favorites to the dark side. If nothing else, this implies that, post-WM, the lines dividing the brands will continue to be blurred. I have a little something to say about that, but it'll wait…
The Ridiculous:
Did MVP just say "stanima"? Did JBL just say "snigger"? – Okay, I'm cognizant of the fact that MVP is on the fast track to becoming the new IWC "IT" boy. And I'll admit, after having spoken to The Poohbah regarding MVP's DSW performances, combined with the glimpse to which we were treated following the Inferno match, whereby we saw a glimpse of MVP becoming a much more serious and driven character than we'd seen previously or since, I can certainly see the possibility of the man having a LOT more to offer than that which we've seen thus far, especially considering the manner in which McMahonagement is renowned for dumbing-down its talent, from Jim Duggan to Gregory Helms (and namely to make doorstops like Hogan and Lashley appear more competent and believable as a consequence). That said, I'm hearing whisperings in MVP's regard to being a "Rock in the making". I'll admit to giving a bit of credence to this because there was an initial year or two when "Rocky Maivia" absolutely SUCKED before really finding his niche.
However, if McMahonagement truly gets on board and pushes MVP to the main event, booking both to his strengths and minimizing his shortcomings, as well as allowing both character and performer to grow exponentially, we could well have a main event star on our hands. Mind you, I'm NOT jumping on any bandwagons. Just as back in the day, it took a lot of convincing for me to accept The Rock, mainly because I was so focused on Steve Austin, having already been a huge fan for years. But I am trying to be optimistic in MVP's regard, both for the sake of the fact that I love wrestling and want what's best for business.
HOWEVER…I've given MVP a LOT of cred here, so why is this, then, in the Ridiculous? Because 1) this whole neo-Honky-Tonk Man is OLD after just three weeks (although he finally managed to get it Right tonight); and 2) I know WWE is no stranger to implementing old school racism and bigotry in its stories, but Saba Simba 2007 here tonight absolutely dropped my jaw. I'm surprised Dr. Evil didn't go whole hog and just name MVP's "opponent" Jigaboo the Spearchucker (complete with Tony Chimmel's announcement, "From a front porch in Ethiopia…"). This was absolutely VULGAR and I cannot BELIEVE it was allowed to air on a national prime time network in 2007. The wrestler playing the character, as well as MVP, both being African-Americans, should be ASHAMED of themselves.
And for those of you who have already stuck together the pages of Ashley's Playboy shoot – …we had this Divalicious waste of time. Still, beat another segment of Dr.Evil, Lashley and Umaga. And, like LaFave with a copy of Ashley's Playboy spread, it was over quicker.
Remember people, show Geoff some love by emailing him here: yostankmama@hotmail.com
RAW!: By: Andy Clark
Raw 4.02.07:
Right:
Two, two, two Battle Royals in One Night!: The opening Battle Royals were a bunch of fun. They had everybody around from WrestleMania, why not throw them all out there? Plus I don't think anybody was expecting that second one so it had a double surprise there. This was also a pretty good way to get the belts off of Cena & Michaels, and while some may say that it hurt the titles by having HBK give them up, I don't think it's that big of a deal. Cena wanted them and HBK was just being a prick. I mean it's not like Michaels had actively defended them already. The Hardys winning was probably a good move and there are some intriguing possibilities there.
We Have Tag Teams!: This is an offshoot of the Battle Royal love, but look at all the tag teams. Of all the teams only Johnny Nitro & The Miz were the real thrown together team, everyone else had a reason to be together, or at least a history of teaming. At one point I was a huge proponent of keeping two Tag Team Titles specific to the brands, but if WWE is insistent on "compromising" the brand extension then I say go ahead and unify the titles. I don't think anybody would complain about some Hardy-London & Kendrick matches. Throw in the World's Greatest Tag Team and Chavo Guerrero & Gregory Helms (maybe even RVD & Sabu from ECW) and things could get real interesting.
Cryme Tyme Finally Gets Their Shot: After becoming No. 1 Contender's at New Year's Revolution it seemed as if Cryme Tyme was going to Abyss their title opportunity. While their match wasn't the fairest situation for No. 1 Contender's to be in at least that loose end was tied up.
HBK's New Attitude: The Execution: While I have some issues with the basic premise of Shawn Michaels' new ‘tude (see below) they did do it well. Michaels really seemed pissed and he carried over that uncomfortable dickishness from WrestleMania. He really made an effort to seem like a heel, but only to Cena. There is a fire within Shawn Michaels and I think before this feud is done we'll see him top his WrestleMania performance.
The Bald Man Cometh: WWE new that people that didn't even order WrestleMania would be tuning in to see what happened at the big show. People that may not even be wrestling fans may have wanted to check out the bald "billionaire." Well, they did deliver that. No hokey wig or denial about being bald, Vince was there with just a simple fedora (looking quite nice as a matter of fact). That in and of itself would have been OK, but his tormentor Bobby Lashley would arrive to give us even more. Vince was hilarious, if not a bit over the top, trying to hide his scalp from our eyes and hiding under Lillian's skirt was good, silly fun.
The wRong
Too Much Bobby/Weak Main Event: I understand that Bobby Lashley is becoming one of their big stars and was coming off of the biggest moment of his career, but that doesn't mean I needed to see him twice in one night. The skit with Vince early in the show should have been enough of the ECW World Champion until his actual show. They need to make sure they don't burn out their audience on him. Secondly, I wasn't really a fan of the main event. As soon as Vince added Armando Alejandro Estrada to the match you knew exactly what was going to happen. While I'm glad Umaga didn't drop another loss on his own, it was just way too predictable not to mention not a very good match.
The WORLD'S GREATEST TAG TEAM isn't after the titles?: I don't capitalize their name to emphasize Haas & Benjamin in particular, I capitalize it to point out that that is their name. How does somebody forget to put a team called "The World's Greatest Tag Team" amongst 19 other challengers? Hopefully they end up involved in the title hunt soon otherwise Shelton Benjamin might as well put in a call to Dixie Carter.
HBK's New Attitude: The Concept: Who is the blue hell wants Shawn Michaels as a heel in this point in his career? Especially a condescending prick heel at that. Michaels manages to bury the hatchet with Triple H, get buddy ,buddy with Chris Jericho, and even shakes the hand of Hulk Hogan but John Cena, the only one of those men that made him tap out gets nothing? WWE better be careful that they don't fuck up Michaels' momentum or bury their top guy. This feud better end with a handshake or I'm going to be pissed.
The Ridiculous
Who's Number 10?: That's a good question because they never answered it. The first tag team Battle Royal only announced nine of the ten teams. I know that tenth team really wasn't that important but I at least want to know who's in the match I'm watching. That just bothered me.
Are Y'all Wrestling Fans Like Me?:…at a WRESTLING show. Welcome to Moronville, population: Timbaland. Seriously, first he says he's performing at WrestleMania which doesn't happen, then he makes an idiotic statement like that, and then he causes even more useless Diva crap? My head hurts.
Is There a Shaved Head Clause?: Wait, so Eugene and Hacksaw Jim Duggan can team again now? Didn't they lose a "Losers Must Disband" match to the Spirit Squad months ago? Is that null and void since the Spirit Squad is no longer together? They must have found the same loophole that Mick Foley did.
ECW on Sci-Fi!:
ECW on Sci-Fi!: 4.03.07:
The Right:
Bobby Angry! …I think - It's no secret that I am NO fan of Mr. Lashley when it comes to him talking. He is a big jacked up dude and sounds like Michael Jackson. I don't care about his military background or size, that really kills his mystique for myself and many others. I will say that overall the promo was good though. He had to have some face time to play off of the WM rub he got, and it helps keep him over as the top guy. I also actually liked that this was all we got this week. He said he'd do what ever to keep his title and Vince couldn't stop him. That lays the groundwork for more stuff, and the fact that they DIDN'T jump the gun this week is GOOD as it builds the whole episodic TV ideology I like to discuss. Also it allowed the show to focus on the New Breed vs. Originals main event. So yeah, overall I was fine with things.
Why did they NOT do this at WrestleMania? - This is everything that the WrestleMania match SHOULD have been. It was only a few minutes longer and was 3x's the match they had at WrestleMania. Yes it was nice that the ECW guys got a WrestleMania moment with their win, but this match would have only added to WrestleMania in my opinion. So why didn't they have THIS match at WM? It is the theory that they didn't want too much "plunder" on the show, with the MITB match, but also I feel it is one of those things that they didn't want too much taken away from the "main events." While that makes sense, it IS WM and they should have gone all out and had this match there. It was great and I loved the match, I really wish they could have done this and showed that they had something to offer at WM.
puRgatory:
Back to the treadmill for you Punk! - CM Punk faced off with Stevie Richards this week on ECW. The first thing I liked about this was the fact that they had Punk's ribs wrapped up, selling the MITB match. I dig little touches like that and think they go a long way in story telling. That being said, the match was "fine" I suppose. They blew a headlock spot, Stevie landed on his head, that's great guys. I felt like I was watching DSW for a moment. Punk got the win, with the Go2Sleep, and I didn't like that either. I like the move, but with the injured ribs I feel he should have used the Anaconda Vice instead, to sell that further. Maybe a nitpick, but a valid complaint I feel. And again, some of it reeks of the treadmill again. We've seen him beat Stevie in a short/fine/competitive match. They come out of WrestleMania and while they look to continue the trend of will he or won't he join the New Breed, part of me thinks they aren't sure what to do. I hope I'm wrong, but it felt like the treadmill again to me. Plus the above issues with the match I had, I think purgatory is a fine place for this, this week.
Snitsky - Every week, when it comes to Snitsky I seem to have roughly the same thing to say. "I do not now, nor will I ever give a flying fuck about Snitsky. I appreciate the attempted make over, but no about of squashes will make me consider him a threat, or even a good wrestler, and I am not talking about in ring technique per say, the overall package is what I mean. As I wrote last week, maybe if they would have started with him doing squashes at the beginning I could have gotten into this. Or maybe if he had never been brought up to the main roster when he was and he debuted now I could get into the character, but I just can't do it. He doesn't look scary really, just ugly with bad steroid acne. I am not buying him as a threat, I am not buying the character. He is there because he is big, Afa trained him and Vince has his fetish. I expect a world title run for him, joy."
Now that all being said, I will admit that having him take out Holly was actually a good move. Holly had to be taken off of TV because his elbow is basically falling apart, and he needs surgery badly. They are doing their best to get Snitsky over as a monster with no remorse, one that will do anything to win and if need be cripple his opponent. This came off well and should have done that. So while I am not a fan, and don't imagining myself being one anytime soon, the concept here was fine and executed well through the beat down and selling of Holly.
The wRong:
Timba…er Bullshit - Yes I understand that they are going to do some deal with the divas in this dude's video, but you know, I don't need him taking up TV time. I don't need him and RVD swapping good weed hook ups and I don't need him as an excuse to see the Extreme Expose on TV. Have the bitches do a porn and then we'll talk. Plus his album sucks. Bullshit.
The Ridiculous:
NADDA~!
Alternate ECW on Sci-Fi!: By: Andy Clark:
ECW on Sci-Fi!: 4.03.07:
Right:
THIS Is What We Paid For: The main event of the show was exactly what should have been at WrestleMania. It was reasonably short (about 10 minutes) but was crazy and action packed and both sides looked good. The outcome could have gone either way at Mania so it wouldn't matter in the end, but THIS is what we should have gotten on the big show. Plus it even had spots that Joey Styles could actually scream "Oh my God!" at.
Building Punk: They've done a great job of building up CM Punk thus far. The crowd digs him and he is on the cusp of some big storylines. I have a feeling that if Elijah Burke isn't hurt too badly that we may very well see a rivalry develop between those two. Punk vs. Marcus Cor Von also sounds pretty interesting. CM Punk very well could be a top superstar in ECW in the very near future.
The wRong:
That's What Loyalty Will Get Ya: So Holly needed to stay on TV why? Hardcore Holly was supposed to be off of TV over a month ago to have surgery on that arm. I would have though Bobby Lashley destroying the arm inside the Steel Cage would have sent him packing, but no. Instead he was stuck in pointless midcard matches with the likes of Balls Mahoney and Snitsky. And for what? For him to not get booked at WrestleMania and THEN get taken out by Snitsky? Couldn't they have done that three weeks ago? The man has had enough trouble with that arm that he shouldn't have to wait this long to get the treatment he needs. I'm not a big fan of Holly personally but he does deserve better than that.
More Bobby Leads To…Nothing: Bobby Lashley definitely needed to be on this show (after all, he is the champion) but it would have been nice if he actually did something. OK, so he comes out and gloats, that's cool. But then…nothing. No Vince. No Umaga. No Snitsky even. Lame and pointless.
More Timbaland and Extreme Expose: Timbaland is on the show AGAIN. Plus he lead to not one, but two Extreme Expose appearances. For the record I hate them. Kelly Kelly is a useless tramp that has a dancing gimmick that can't fucking dance. Layla is ugly as hell (although I will say she looks better with straight hair) and a whiny ass voice with a horrible accent, and Brooke is just like every other dime a dozen floozy they hire. Needless to say I'm not a fan.
The Ridiculous:
We Forgot About Balls: This really isn't ridiculous as it is just amusing. Balls Mahoney is in the ECW Originals entrance video. He's the forgotten Original after all. I know updating the Originals' video isn't high on Kevin Dunn's priority list, but come on dude, they lost interest in Balls weeks ago.
READER RANTS~!
From Dan on last week's Impact -
This was a darn good wrestling show. They spent the majority of the show building to the Lethal Lockdown with good cause since it's the big match of the ppv featuring all the top guys. They had the X-Scape to showcase the division, and managed to build up all the little feuds and angles up to the ppv like the Harris/Storm brawl, Roode/Eric showdown, Daniels attacking Lynn again, plus the Hemme/VKM nonsense was short and they even recapped the tag title feud. The swerve at the end doesn't bother me because no one buys Tomko as a face and it allows the heel brawl at the end. I like the dynamic of sneaky Cage offering title shots to everyone and thus having a team both possessed to win and totally out for themselves, whereas Angle is left 5-3. This was a much better episode of Impact than in recent memory.
From Ross Simms-
I don't write often, although I am a fan. I am writing in this week though, to vent. I bought WrestleMania, as I always have, since I was old enough to purchase a PPV. I really enjoyed it, enough so that a friend of mine and I were screaming at the television as HBK grabbed the rope and broke the STFU. I felt the wrong man won, but hey that's just the HBK mark in me. I felt that it was worth the $50. I switched over to USA tonight, celebrating the New Year, if you will. Then I felt as if I were pissed on from the beginning of the show.
I have to admit, I am a huge fan of tag team wrestling. I know that WWE doesn't hold tag teams in the highest esteem, but I feel that it really benefits the show. It gets more people on the show, can be used to give younger wrestlers more experience with bigger names and if done properly can do nothing but benefit the show. There have been times when I've held the tag titles in higher esteem than the heavyweight title.
The past few weeks, well since Cena & HBK won the titles, I've been unhappy. I've hoped that every time they put them up against all odds, that someone would take that title. Instead, HBK and Cena keep the titles in purgatory, not allowing one of my favorite parts of the show to go on.
So tonight, just like in previous weeks, the cards are stacked against HBK & Cena. One more chance for the entire RAW Tag scene to be shit on. Only, this time they'll shit on the entire WWE tag division. It seems as if any possible tag team mixture that could be made are thrown together, just for Cena / HBK to destroy them. Then something that should make me happy happens: Cena is eliminated & The Hardys are the new Champions.
But it didn't cheer me up. No one got a rub. HBK eliminated Cena, because he didn't want the title anymore. So now, after totally humiliating all of the WWE Tag team wrestlers, they didn't put the titles down enough. They had to give them up and make them seem as worthless as possible. That, to me, was worse than throwing a title in the trashcan. To me, this is an R worse that Russo F'N riffic.
And to top it off, they gave the titles to a team that is split between two shows, which should mean that Matt Hardy should come to RAW, but due to the shortsightedness of the WWE writers, probably won't happen.
I know that some people won't feel this slighted by what happened tonight. And I will continue watching, simply because I love wrestling. I've watched for 20 years now. It's a family tradition. But so far, this New Year sucks. I can only hope, that TNA will be better this year. Thank you for listening to me rant.
From a good friend of the column, Johnny Kinard -
First off, I hope that you get well soon. I was a little surprised to see that Stu took over the YN,MV, but he did a fine job. WrestleMania, from all reports, was a good show. However, there were two huge problems that bothered me. One was the fact that the show went off thirty minutes early. Considering that neither Tag nor Cruiserweight titles were up for grabs, that was complete bullshit. The more annoying part of this was that at least half the matches were under ten minutes! This is acceptable on free TV, but when someone kicked out $40 to see a PPV, they deserve to get their money's worth. The second thing was that for the fifth damn year in a row, the IC title was not defended. I know that there was at least four other titles that also wasn't defended (which is a fucking shame), but this is the fourth time the IC champ performed at WM without defending the gold. WHY??!??!!
As for RAW, the only bone that I have to pick is the Tag Battle Royals. I actually have no problem with Cena & Michaels losing the straps, but that the Hardy Boys won, despite the fact that Matt Hardy, last I check, was a Smackdown superstar. Not only that, but tag teams from all the brands, including the SMACKDOWN TAG CHAMPS, took part in the match! Why in the hell were they in the match? Also, why were Chavo Guerrero and Gregory Helms competing when a ready-made cruiserweight feud is right there? If my memory is correct, Cryme Tyme won a Battle Royal not too long ago to compete in a World Tag title match at a later date. Did "creative" just forget about that?
