Friendly Competition 4.7.07
Posted by Sam Caplan on 04.07.2007
ECW On Sci-Fi was main evented by an off the charts 8-Man tag. Impact was main evented by an interview in which six PPV matches got thrown together at the last minute. Care to guess which show I liked better?
Well damn if that wasn't an unbelievable main event on ECW On Sci-Fi. I mean, wow. I was really impressed with how good that match was because, to be honest, I didn't know the ECW Originals still had it in them. Boy, was I wrong.
ECW On Sci Fi Results 4/3/2007
-Bobby Lashley openth the thow and tellth uth about how Westhlemania Twenty Thwee wath the biggetht night of hith life. It wath unbewievabwe. He knowth that Vinthe McMahon ith pwanning to make hith wife a wiving heww ath wong ath he howds the ECW Title. However, no mattew who ow what he thendth againtht him, it won't thtop him because he'th the ECW Champion, BOBBY LATHLEY!
-STEVIE RICHARDS LIVES! Unfortunately, he only shows up long enough to get beaten by CM Punk.
-Rob Van Dam is backstage with Timbaland, but unfortunately he leaves Timbaland alone and gives Hardcore Hobags the opportunity to come talk to him. They want to show him some dance moves. Better him than me.
-Matt Striker and Marcus Cor Von come to CM Punk and try to recruit him, and Punk tells him the same thing he told Elijah Burke: he's not interested. Cor Von takes a different approach and tells Punk that he's either with them or against them.
-Gene Snitsky beats Hardcore Holly with the Foot Fetish, then kicks his ass some more after the match, working him over with a chair and smashing his arm between the stairs several times for good measure. Damn, he might be out for 6-8 months after an attack like that.
-In an excellent Extreme Rules 8-Man rematch from Wrestlemania, the New Breed beats the ECW Originals. Just like...wow, this was good.
TNA Impact Results 4/5/2007
-Team Christian jokes around about what a great swerve they pulled on Team Angle, but Tomko gets upset that he's got to wrestle Rhino in an 8-Mile Streetfight, and then the cracks of dissensions begin to show.
-Rhino defeated Tomko in an 8-Mile Streetfight when Abyss's interference backfires, but Abyss comes in and chokeslams him after the match, drawing out the rest of both teams. Team Christian has the numbers advantage, and AJ even breaks out the Spiral Tap!
-Jim Cornette has his monthly segment where he's getting mobbed by wrestlers who want PPV matches and decides to make like 17 matches at once. He'll announce them later, but wants everyone out now. Gail Kim must not have gotten the memo, because she runs in and attacks Miss Jackie.
-Team Christian is celebrating backstage as if they've already won Lethal Lockdown. Christian wants to go party, but unfortunately Slick doesn't show up. Christian decides to leave Abyss there to clean the place up, and threatens to call "Mother Abyss" if Abyss doesn't make the place spotless.
-VKM gets a DQ win over LAX when the Latino Nation runs in and jumps them. Team 3D comes out and cleans house, then accepts LAX's challenge for the electrified cage match at Lockdown and then spews out a few racially stereotypes at them.
-Samoa Joe and Rhino are furious with how things are going for Team Angle, but Angle has ideas and promises to put together a five man team next week.
-Kevin Nash plays dress up backstage with Jay Lethal and Sonjay Dutt.
-Vince Russo angle rehash of the week, as Bob Backlund throws in the towel and gives Austin Starr the win over Senshi in a submission match. Senshi gets pissed and throws the towel at Backlund after bitching him out. I think this is Aries/Starr's first win over Low Ki/Senshi.
-Sting feels bad about what happened with Abyss because he had no idea that telling the world that Abyss shot his father would turn out so badly for him. After that, he has a panic attack because his career sucks.
-Jim Cornette closes the show by addressing the wrestlers. He makes an X-Division Title Xscape match, Robert Roode vs Petey Williams, Jerry Lynn vs Christopher Daniels, Senshi vs Austin Starr with Bob Backlund as guest referee, Chris Harris vs James Storm in a Blindfold Match, Gail Kim vs Jackie Moore, confirms the Team 3D vs LAX Electrified Cage Match, then addresses the main event Lethal Lockdown match. Cornette tells Angle to fill out his team because next week, a representative from each team will face off with the winner getting the one man advantage in Lethal Lockdown. Christian tries running his mouth, but Cornette puts him in his place by calling him a con man and then pointing out that Christian doesn't determine his challengers, Cornette does. Cornette announces that whoever wins the match for his team, whether it's Team Christian or Team Angle, is going to get a title shot against Christian at Sacrifice. They're about to brawl when Sting shows up and joins Team Angle by taking Team Christian out with his bat.
Overall Top Ten Ranking
As voted by me. This ranking includes wrestlers from both groups, is done on a week by week basis, is based on a combination of how well they produce in the ring and how much they entertain me, and is entirely subjective.
ECW World Champion: Bobby Lashley (Champion Since 12/3/2006)
NWA World Champion: Christian Cage (Champion Since 1/14/2007)
1)New Breed
2)ECW Originals
3)Rhino
4)CM Punk
5)Samoa Joe
6)Austin Starr
7)Kevin Nash
8)Tomko
9)Gene Snitsky
10)Senshi
Dickhead Of The Week: Sting
That interview he did on Impact was really pathetic. For one, the idea that he had no idea that revealing Abyss's past would make things worse was a ludicrous thought. I mean sure, going around telling people about someone's criminal past usually does wonders for that person's reputation, but for some reason it didn't work that way this time around. Who'd have thought? But then he goes on to top that with this ridiculously whiny mini-panic attack where he starts pitying himself for how crappy his latest comeback has turned out and what a failure he is. Yeah, that's a real championship attitude, Sting. Way to give people a reason to believe in you. And am I the only one who wishes he wouldn't refer to Abyss as Chris anymore?
Vital Social Issues N' Stuff With Stuart
Everything else takes a backseat this week, that 8-Man from ECW On Sci-Fi was off the charts. I didn't get to watch it until last night, but I had heard how good the match was and while I expected to be disappointed after a buildup like that, I was wrong. It was a very, very, very good match and I'm even going to go out on a limb and call it WWE's Match Of The Year so far. Seriously, I thought that was better than anything on Wrestlemania. Word is that it got a standing ovation from Vince McMahon himself when they all got back to the locker room, and that's the highest praise anyone in WWE can get. I have no idea where it goes from here, but even if the ECW Originals get buried every week from here to the end of eternity, this match showed that they still had it and, when done properly, the hardcore style still gets over.
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Poor Bob Holly. This poor sap keeps on thinking he's finally going to get that big push, but it never comes. He had that awesome Hardcore Rules match with Rob Van Dam last summer and got over huge because of it, but when they tried to push him afterward, it just never panned out. Months go by and it looks like he's going to get an ECW Title shot at Wrestlemania, but then Bobby Lashley gets put into something more important and again Bob's out of luck. Now the word is that he's going in for more surgery on his arm. I mean, we all should know better because this IS Bob Holly we're talking about, but all I'm saying is that sometimes, you really gotta feel for the guy.
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Is this stupid weekly segment with Hardcore Hobags ever going to go anywhere? Because if I wanted to watch brainless sluts dance every week on a wrestling show with no other real purpose, I'd pull out tapes of Monday Nitro. Right now, this is eating up four minutes of TV time that could be used for something, anything else. Four minutes doesn't seem like a lot, but when you take out commercials, ECW On Sci-Fi is actually a 40 minute show. That means that this stupid segment takes up a tenth of the total show time. I'm really hoping that this leads to some kind of angle where some badass comes out and kills all three of them to a huge ovation (or, if the crowd is nuts, heel heat).
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More and more, TNA makes it difficult to give me anything worth writing about. This is one of those weeks.
In all things, there is at least one lesson to be learned. Here I will impart upon you what I took away from the weekly television of ECW, TNA, and WSX. You too can learn important life lessons from Kevin Thorn and Maverick Matt, and are encouraged to send in your own revalations.
This week on ECW On Sci-Fi, I learned that...
-The ECW Originals can still go.
-"You're either with us or against us" is the default catchphrase of every heel stable ever.
-Hardcore Holly should have known better than to think he was getting a push going into Wrestlemania.
This week on TNA Impact, I learned that...
-Only in wrestling can somebody be referred to with a name like "Mother Abyss".
-Insane ex-cons make great janitors.
-Jim Cornette's only purpose is to appear once a month and make six PPV matches in one shot.
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That's it for me today, I'm back in tomorrow with The Ominous Thoughts News Report. Thanks for reading, and see you then.
