Truth B Told 4.12.07: It’s Still Real To ME Damn It!!
Posted by Bayani Domingo on 04.12.2007
Now that Hulkamania is over and kayfabe is dead, one has to ask whether or not we still want to live the fantasy or keep it real.
When you were a kid, Hulk Hogan was a superhero who flew in to flex his massive muscles, pose for the crowd, beat up the bad guy, then fly out to another city to do it all over again next week. That was enough to keep you happy and you were more than satisfied to accept that reality. It was indisputable that the power of a big boot and a might leg drop could vanquish any foe and the orange muscleman in the yellow and red, with your help and support could beat any one, any time, anywhere. Now, there is a new muscleman, though less orange, he sports a pair of camouflage shorts, supports the troops, and stands for everything good and wholesome.
He still fights for truth, justice, and everything that is American, but instead of being a "thug" he is now a "Marine". But he still beats up all those baddies who invade your television screen every week. John Cena is Brandon Routh. He's the new Superman. But the thing is… Brandon Routh is no Christopher Reeves, and we all know that Christopher Reeves was the REAL Superman. Just like John Cena is no Hulk Hogan. Just like… Superman… well…Superman is just a character in a story, a fantasy, a fairy tail more or less. And clearly you don't believe in fairy tales anymore. Do you?
I read a column by one of the newbies here that got the hairs on the back of my neck to stand up. In the column it basically states that John Cena is the next Hulk Hogan, which is true, and that the wrestling world NEEDS another Hulk Hogan. That is what got me a little worked up. Because fact of the matter is that Hulk Hogan existed in a unique space of time when the world was vastly different. A time in which we had never heard of a Hurricanrana or a 630 splash. When the internet didn't exist and when saying your prayers and eating your vitamins was a sure way to grow up big and strong like your idol. Hulk Hogan existing now as he was back then is almost impossible. Saying that the world needed another Stone Cold, Bret Hart, or The Rock seems more realistic. The Rebel, the Wrestler, the Entertainer, men who were great for the sport of wrestling, but for all intents and purposes were merely that…men. After thinking about it I realized that the column had done its job, it provoked a reaction out of me, I applaud that effort. However, it also stuck in my mind, even as I prepared for a great weekend of wrestling as PWG put on All Star Weekend 5.
There were a couple of moments during ASW5 that also stuck with me. One being a sick bump by the British high flyer "The Man Gravity Forgot" PAC. PAC went for a double moonsault off the top rope onto El Generico in the main event of Night 1 and missed. He didn't just miss El Generico, which was the spot, but he missed hitting the mat the way he was supposed to and landed directly on his neck. He flopped around on the ring a bit as the crowd was completely silent. The ref jumped over to check on him as did Generico and after a few very scary moments Generico pinned him. 1, 2… PAC kicked out. The crowd caught their breaths and cheered. A very scary, a very REAL moment in wrestling was replaced with excitement and adrenaline of another 3 minutes of wrestling that resulted, in my opinion, in an early MOTYC. Still, for a quick 10 or 15 seconds, wrestling just got very real. You want to tell them, "Please, you don't have to risk your life and career for my sake", you want to be amazed and you want to be entertained, but at what cost? While you complain about work rate and rest holds, no one wants to see another botched spot leave a Droz in a wheel chair, or a Stone Cold retired before his time. There was a man flying through the air, but unlike Superman, he didn't land gracefully on his feet, he landed horribly on his neck.
Another moment was right as the first match for Night 2 was about to take place. As the first wrestler was readying himself for his opponent in the 6 man gauntlet match he began his ritual of stretching himself out on the top rope…and it broke. The top rope had snapped cleanly at the turn buckle and as a result the entire show was delayed a total of 2 hours. They had to run the first match, luckily a No-DQ match, mostly outside of the ring, the next match was turned into a 6 man tag match and featured no bottom rope. It suddenly dawned on me that as many times as wrestling shows happen in the US on a weekly basis, these things can happen. It wasn't like a TV show that can be edited, or a movie that gets to re-shoot after re-shoot, it was a real live event unfolding. Like a backboard breaking before a basketball game, or a rain delay, this was a very real aspect of wrestling, good or bad. In this case, bad. Then again, this is the kind of thing that doesn't happen in the WWE right? Well, not very often, which is why the WWE still carries a different aura than any Indy fed could possibly offer. But then again, I don't think the "professionalism" or the "high production value" is what separates the "e" from the Indies. It's the Fairy Tale.
I wrote about the escapism and fantasy world that wrestling provides fans in a column a month or so back. I think that still holds true today, but just at very different levels. Look at the 2 guys who are most over in the WWE (Cena, Undertaker) and the two guys most over on the Indy scene (Danielson, Samoa Joe). This is a total contrast in styles as it is clear that Cena and ‘Taker are much more super human, in ‘Taker's case that is literally true, than Joe and Danielson. Most WWE fans like their wrestlers to be true "superstars" who are bigger than life. While RoHbots don't seem to mind workers who aren't as chiseled but bring their working boots and aren't quite as mythical. Let's be honest, if you knew nothing of wrestling and Jack Evans and Batista were in street clothes and wanted to fight you, chances are you'd rather not press your luck with Batista and would put up your dukes against Jack. And you know this…maaaaaaaaan.
There is a certain spectacle and awe that goes with the WWE. The sheer size and strength of some of the wrestlers are just astounding. Imagine seeing Bobby Lashley or Khali in an RoH ring. Would you really sit there and tell me that Lashley couldn't absolutely destroy Homicide in a ‘shoot fight' or a "Fight without Honor" or Khali couldn't actually swallow Pelle Primeau whole. Then again, would you rather watch Chris Masters and Super Crazy wrestle for 30 mins or the "generic" Roderick Strong and Nigel McGuinness battle it out? How can the STFU really causes a master submission artist like Benoit to tap out in 5 seconds when Stone Cold spent an eternity in the Sharpshooter at WM 13 and passed out? Then again, somehow Bobby "Fatty Hagar" Dempsey keeps getting matches in RoH. I guess there are just some things about the "e" and RoH that support the theory of "suspension of belief". It is just a matter of taste I guess. For every Boogeyman and Samoan Savage you laugh at, don't forget that a Delirious and Prince Nana exists.
What this all comes down to is rather or not you prefer the "reality" or the "fantasy" of pro wrestling and rather you believe that the WWE is mostly fantasy and Indy feds like RoH/PWG/FIP/etc are trying to base themselves in reality for the most part. They choose to center around the athletics and competition rather than outlandish storylines. That at least was my initial reaction. I figured that WWE fans wanted the fantasy, while Indy fans eschewed the "cartoonishness" in favor of more realistic and athletic bouts. But maybe it wasn't that easy. I think we have to look at a few of the preconceived notions first.
What the "e" manages to do is take you outside of the realm of reality and make you adhere to their laws and principles. There is a suspension of belief you have to accept if you want to enjoy most WWE shows. The Undertaker isn't really dead, but in order to appreciate the awesomeness of the character and performer you have to believe he is an indestructible monster (Except for the time when he was an indestructible biker). John Cena is a shitty wrestler, I don't care what he CAN do, because what he DOES do is shit. It's like saying, "Oh, my girlfriend CAN be faithful, but mostly I catch her suckin' off my friends and neighbors when I come home from work about once or twice a week…but back when she was in Ohio and a ‘developmental girlfriend' she was Uber loyal". But in order to get on board the Cena love train you have to get past all that and buy into what the "e" is selling you on him. You have to buy into his charisma and "never surrender" attitude. Likewise with HBK and Ric Flair who you really have to take into account their mythical pasts because someone tuning in for the first time would look at HBK and wonder how the blue hell he'd beat up a guy the size of Cena or HHH, or how Flair could be near 60 years old and still be able to hang with K-Dyke and Johnny Nitro. Sure WE know those guys are jobbers, but you think John Q. Neverseenamatch knows that a near geriatric Ric Flair going over those guys is a near certainty? It's about giving into the fantasy, and for me…2 hours a week every Monday night I do just that.
I am bombarded with Vince McMahon every week stealing up time on my TV screen and just accept his presence. How often have you seen the CEO of your company or the President of your school walking the halls and getting involved with their employees or students? If your boss ever sent his VP's out to beat you up and shave you bald do you think you might, oh, I dunno… tell HR or go see a lawyer? What about a college Dean coercing a student to strip down and bark like a dog in front of an auditorium of people? Would you imagine taking weekly tests and seeing the same people cheating on their exams while their ‘partner' distracts the professor by falling all over them and clutching their neck ties? Does it seem plausible that at some point he might catch on? These are all things we have come to expect while watching wrestling. More so with the WWE than any other company. But we suck it up right? We look past that because while we may loathe 50% of the wrestlers in the company there is other way to see John Cena, Undertaker, HBK, CM Punk, Booker T, or Mr. Kennedy is there? We immerse ourselves in that world fully knowing that it's merely a fantasy and we do that because THAT is the way we have always done it. Because we didn't know about ‘workrate' and ‘bumps', we didn't concern ourselves about people ‘telegraphing spots' or reading ‘spoilers' because we didn't have an internet to surf. It was a different time, but we try to believe it hasn't changed even while you read a column written by a "smart mark" who knows better.
When WCW and ECW died, it helped begin the rise of a phenomenon known as Indy wrestling. It forced people to either choose the WWF and remain loyal to it, or find an alternative. Well actually there was a third option, but mainly it consists of people who just…stopped watching. For others they were looking for something different or something more. Those looking for another "fix" to feed their wrestling habits found a new avenue to explore in Indy or even Puro/Lucha wrestling. Which meant you could either keep watching the "e" as well as more wrestling than your meager "Exotic Animal Retailer" salary could handle or you could simply stop watching the "e". There was a split of course but more than likely you just kept up with as much wrestling as you could get your grubby paws on. Watching Lucha and Puro was great, but there was an element much like the WWE in that you became detached from the product as it was a foreign concept and you could immerse yourself yet again in a fantasy world in a far off land. But then, perhaps as I did, you found yourself at an Indy show. By chance, like I did, you even liked it.
You go to shows, you show up early to try to meet the wrestlers, buy their t-shirts or homemade DVD's during intermission and try to get pictures with them after the last match. You almost become personally invested in them, hoping and wishing them to greater success and fame (although perhaps not TOO much success as to get them snatched up by the "e"). It feels good, it feels very real. The internet is a wealth of knowledge, wikipedia, myspace, internet wrestling sites (like the fine one you are reading right now), are all windows into their personal and professional lives. They become so much more human now. Until something happens.
You don't usually get to see guys get carted out of the ring during RAW or Smackdown for real. If someone is injured on TV then you just go along with the storyline, when you follow the Indy circuit it's merely a 24 hour or even 24 minute time period until you can find out how bad it really was. Seeing a guy after a show with a black eye, gash in his head, or hobbling out to greet fans just seems a bit too real. Watching a bad fall on TV is so much different than seeing it from the 2nd row 12 feet away. While close calls and injuries are a part of wrestling there is something a little scary about seeing average sized Indy wrestlers taking a vicious bump knowing that you are probably no smaller than he is. But that is something you've come to expect and accept because the realism of the matches and the realism of the wrestlers is so much more appealing. Sure there is still that disconnection as they are the "performers" and you are the "audience" but somehow in a sweaty gym, with their cars parked right next to yours, it just seems that the lines are a little more blurry.
Let's not forget about the actual wrestling. While some ardent WWE fans dismiss TNA (especially the X-Division) and Indy wrestling as "generic flippity flop guys, has-beens, and never will be's" there is a definite distinction in the way matches are run. While Samoa Joe vs Low Ki in 2002 was a stiff almost shoot-like fight consisting of mainly kicks and chops, much like Joe/Kobashi years later, it still managed to get rave reviews from the IWC and most notably Indy fans. That kind of match just wouldn't cut it in the "e". I think the realism of the ‘shoot' aspect was what was appealing. To some extent the "e" has tried those kind of matches out with Benoit and Regal on Smackdown, but don't often go to that well because it doesn't fit what the "e" is trying to get across. Likewise if the Cena/HBK WM23 match happened with Nigel McGuiness and Takeshi Morishima the RoH crowd probably would have rioted. Especially with Nigel's hand in Morishima's "cookie basket" for a good 2 minutes before the ‘go home'.
Sometimes it's a weird double standard and you hear people complain about HHH's or Ric Flair's mainly punch/kick/punch/chop offense but when a chop fest between Joe and Kobashi happened it was well received. Likewise when Khali's head chop of doom finishes an opponent it is scoffed at, but during a match where a wrestler is hit by a drop kick, super rewind hurricanrana, and sky twister press he kicks out and the effort is lauded. Let's face it, there are double standards everywhere and while we can argue the merits of "realism" on Indy or Puro shows vs the ‘cartoonishness" of the WWE, there are clearly times when no selling or "fighting spirit" happens on both accounts. The same way I'm skeptical about the term "telling a story in the ring" because wrestling like boxing is about finding an opportunity to sneak in a good punch, send your opponent reeling and find a way to sneak in a victory. Wrestling like MMA or Boxing should largely be able finding your spot and finding a way to win, not about the good guy always winning unless the bad guy cheats or someone runs in to help him. Imagine of George St. Pierre had actually beaten Matt Serra after a Matt Hughes run-in where they embrace and swerve us all.
In the WWE we come to accept that bit of fantasy as the ref's back is turned and a simply mis-timed shoulder block knocks him out for 2 minutes, not so much on the Indy scene…or at least any Indy fed worth it's salt. But then again, can we say that Indy wrestling doesn't provide a bit of "WTF moments" as well? It seemed implausible that Homicide would be manhandled so easily by Morishima after months of scraping his way to the top. In last year's Battle of Los Angeles a relatively still fairly unknown Davey Richards beat former RoH Champion Austin Aries, Roderick Strong, and Dragon Gate ace CIMA on his way to the trophy. Sure it's one of those "any given Sunday" kind of things, but is it more plausible he just wanted it more or PWG wanted to keep the title on a local guy they could book. Plus afterwards he decided to challenge for the tag titles instead of the Heavyweight Title. Imagine Mr. Kennedy wanting to take on London and Kendrick instead of the Undertaker. A bit of fantasy filters into all wrestling I guess.
It feels like sometimes you can't help but sacrifice something whether you're a fan of the "e" and wouldn't want to stoop to watching "back yard midgets" in an Indy fed. Or whether you're a diehard Indy fan and are sick of "McMahon's ass and John Cena" being shoved down your throat like…you were Lita. (True story, I read that chapter of Foley's new book…the hidden one). But sometimes you can live both. If you watch CHIKARA then you know exactly what I'm talking about. Otherwise there are those silly and WTF moments in Indy wrestling that remind you that sometimes the wrestlers are performing as much as the performers are wrestling. Do you really agree with every angle and storyline in your favorite Indy fed? Has there never been a "Dusty Finish" too many in your local fed? Yeah, it happens more times than not and we make some vague reference to Russo-Booking and then we move on to the next show, but sometimes it isn't that easy.
Do you remember hearing Eddie Guerrero died? Do you remember the disbelief, the heart wrenching RAW afterwards, and the teary "good byes" from his friends and coworkers? Do you remember seeing a 7 foot, 500 lbs giant crying, weeping at the loss of his friend? The stone faced and emotionless Canadian Crippler sobbing uncontrollably as he lamented the end of one of the best friends he's ever had, in the business or out of it. Did you cry? Did you tear up? Did you turn the channel? It was heart wrenching, I will openly admit that I could feel the tears begin to well up because you sat there and realized what a huge impact that was. Seeing the Big Show of all people break down, seeing the Rabid Wolverine in all his vulnerability as a real life human being… it was almost too much. Almost enough to make you wish that wrestling really was all fake and simply a TV show because you could pretend Eddie had merely been ‘written off'. It was a horribly reminder that sometimes when you wrap yourself in the fantasy, a little bit of reality creeps in. try as you might to cling to those simpler times when a man like Eddie Guerrero or Owen Hart would have simply risen up and thrown off that kryptonite medallion in order to live another day to fight evil. But alas, those days are gone.
Those days of Hulk Hogan and his "Hulkamaniacs" are gone. Superman grew old, he got a plastic hip, and now he's wheeled out every so often to bury a few young guys and go back to reality television. John Cena isn't Christopher Reeves, he isn't really Superman. He's the "new" Superman that we all know isn't real. He's trying to replace the real thing, but as we all know, like the real Superman, WWF's Superman is dead. We also know that as much as you might adore a Bryan Danielson, Matt Sydal, or Austin Aries, it just doesn't seem possible to place them side by side with a Stone Cold, Undertaker, or The Rock and think they could stand beside those giants of "Sports Entertainment". Not without a footstool. Likewise HBK isn't the same HBK he was before the back problems, and ‘Taker doesn't work year round because he can't anymore. But we accept this. Because either we want to live the fantasy or we want to peak behind the curtain. But that's what being a wrestling fan all is about. You choose the story book, or you read the paper. Don't always think ‘happily ever after' is for every story and don't go thinking the paper isn't going to bring some ugly news. But for me? Yeah…it's still real to me damn it, but sometimes… I don't mind hearing a good fairy tale.
The Truth
I shook Claudio hand after the show on Sunday. He had a huge welt on his forehead and what looked like a black eye, I assume it was from when he caught Alex Shelley after he totally missed a cork screw plancha to the outside. He sprinted over 10 feet and dove just in time to catch enough of Shelley that he didn't die. He had a big smile on his face and seemed to be enjoying meeting the fans, something he doesn't do much of after the show. That was very real to me. Because you don't get that from a television screen or PPV. I think about how cool it is to meet some of the wrestlers who you cheer for and then I look back at the RAW two weeks before Wrestlemania and The Rock showing up on screen to cut a taped promo and how much more I marked out for that then meeting Low Ki for the first time.
A buddy of mine mentioned that the nasty bump PAC survived kind of ruined the match for him. Basically he went on to say that wrestling landing badly or getting hurt or barely missing serious injury always took him out of the match. I figured it was because he, like many people enjoyed the illusion, the fantasy of wrestling. The notion that these guys could take nasty and vicious bumps in the ring and at the end of the night walk out just fine. Realizing just how much these guys really do put their lives and health on the line every week for entertainment's sake is just a very real and sobering thought. It breaks down the 4th wall, even if just for a minute, but long enough to destroy the illusion we hold so close.
It's amazing, because as much as you want to know the guys you are blown away by in the ring are just like you and me, it still pales in comparison to seeing those real "Superstars", even for a few minutes on TV. I enjoy RAW because it's consistent, convenient and free, ECW and TNA are luxuries when I can afford the time, but I will always make the time to see an Indy show. Maybe it's because I'm just way more invested than I should be after meeting a lot of the guys and seeing how much they put out there just to entertain me. Sometimes the way TNA and WWE presents their workers and angles that it just seems to detach the viewer from the actual wrestling and make it seem more like a "TV show". WSX was able to do that very thing to the point that it lost itself in the Mtv hype. But there is something that sucks you by just "being there" and close to the action, because even a simple autograph and handshake can bring you into the wrestling world so much more than you realize and THAT is why I believe Indy fans crave the most. Not just an "alternative" to the WWE, but a connection that a 2 hour TV show can't give you. There is a place for the "fantasy" and the "real" in wrestling. There is nothing wrong with tuning in on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, hell, even Friday night, but come Saturday… try on a little more reality for a change…you can usually find it in a sweaty gym with stale nachos. Let's just hope the top rope doesn't break.
Coming Up Short
You want to know why ECW is such a soul sucking crock of shit? Because the CM Punk heel turn should have been a big deal and that was the most anti-climactic turn since Eugene went crazy on Hacksaw. He should have cost someone a match or beaten the high holy shit out of a Original, like giving RVD the old Pepsi Plunge or going Benoit on Sabu's neck, but instead it's an awkward moment, a handshake, a hug, and they carry him around the ring like he just won American Idol. He didn't even get the obligatory "Guest Referee" match where he uses it to turn on the good guys. This is apparently the NEW ECW CM Punk. The old Punk would have had a spectacular turn, bloodied up Dreamer, sodomized Sandman with his cane, then jerked off on all the "Nitro Girl's" faces to end the show. Well not so much the first two, but c'mon, it's Punk, its only a matter of time before he taps at least one of those ho's, "Sorry sugar, but you just got Spunk'd". For me the whole turn just came up short.
6 Degrees of…
Thomas Williams
yeah, i know i won, so let's see...Ya know, being an actor and all, I think I'll go with one of my favorite actors, Marlon Brando.
One of the greatest actors ever to grace the stage and silver screen, Brando was truly the Wild One. But you know what else is wild?
Deuces. This rebel DOES have a cause. Taking the belts off Kendrick and London...too bad his partner is for shit. Oh well, maybe just wait till they turn him into Umaga's cousin and let them run wild as the Samoan Hit Squad 2K7. Or tag him with Sonny Siaki down in DSW and call them the "Samoan Shit Squat". Damn you for killing Candido Sonny, damn you. Okay, um...sorry.... let's just pretend that didn't happen and move on shall we?
Whatchu talkin' bout readers?
Some WM23 feedback, an Indy virgin gives his thoughts, and someone who isn't Kane's cousin writes in:
Chris Jacobs responds about a month after the fact about the "Kane's first name is really Danity" joke from a previous column:
Ah, I didn't get the joke, I don't listen to that music honestly, and I wasn't tryin to come across as a know it all sarcastic internet critic (not sayin you made me sound like one, just pointing out). No we are not related, your forum member, hammer_hwa, that is me, and I believe it still says under my real name, Chris Jacobs (not related to Kane), keep up the good work.
Yeah, I don't think anyone listens to that kind of music Chris, so no worries. P Diddy has kind of fallen off the map musically although he makes a damn fine parka vest. Really quality stuff, trust me. I wonder if they'd ever try a "Making the Stable" with P Diddy. I could just see Masters, K-Dyk, Nitro, Haas, and Benjamin all trying to synchronize their dance moves and drop kicks.
Manu Bumb writes in to vent on the Cena/HBK match I kind of took a switch to last week:
Ya know, I'm glad to see someone finally say the main event wasnt that good. Everyone else at 411 seems to be creaming themselves over it, but everyone at my house sunday was kinda underwhelmed by it. the undertaker/batista match was definitely more fun. I mean, at no point during the match did taker hold onto batistas balls for 5 minutes. that was just akward.
the piledriver on the stairs was fun, but that was it. the entrances SUCKED compared to last year, the match was too slow, with a very uneventful ending, the crowd wasn't nearly as entertaining as last year's crowd for the cena/HHH match. granted, that match had the advantage of everyone expecting HHH to win, and being shocked when he didnt, but still, everyone knew the Undertaker would win, but it was still a fun match. I mean, taker diving over the top? batista british bulldogging him through the ECW table? Batista actually selling the tombstone after the match and laying in the ring until taker told charles to get him out of there? leaps and bounds more entertaining in my mind.
I still cant believe there were only 8 matches on the show, and the ECW match, Benoit match, and Women's Title match were all so short. Did any of the matches go over 20 mins other than Cena/HBK? And IMO, that was too long for that match. at 20 mins, it might've been better. 8 matches, 90 mins of wrestling (yeah, thats with rounding up), a "4 hour" show..........thats just pathetic. I'm seriously considering not ordering next year's show. for $50, if the show isnt going to be a full 4 hours, I want more than 90 mins of wrestling, and NO matches under 15 mins (and thats just wishful thinking)....well, except for kane/khali'esque matches. and woman wrestler/pBoy skank matches.
And if they're gonna go with short matches, put MORE matches on the card, like title matches, ya know, tag teams, cruiserweights.
You know what's kind of ironic, if you hit a guy in the balls it's a DQ, if you just kind of gently hold on to them…nothing. Just like if you swing a steel chair at a guy and hit them it's a DQ and if you hold it and they kick it into you, it's okay. Weird, then again I hear the same principal works in relationships, if you just kind of place your dick between another girl's butt cheeks it's not cheating, but if you swing it at her, well… Actually the "Main Event" was the only match to reach the 20 minute mark and was a little over a minute from being 30, but except for the MitB match what other match would have been able to hold up that long? ‘Tista/'Taker went 15 mins and MitB was close with 19:11 or something.
I think the bigger problem was that no other matches could go 20 mins because of the lack of quality matches and quality wrestlers they had on the card. I don't think I need more than maybe 9 matches total on the card, but at least 2 to 2 and a half hours at a minimum should be actual wrestling. There shouldn't be a reason to have a match last under 10 mins really unless it is a HUGE surprise debut and a squash. Each of those 9 matches should at least feature a title on the line or competent workers…or just naked titty fights between the divas. At least gimme my money's worth. Well the good news is that at least you split the $50 between buddies, I pity the fool who sat home alone and shelled out the $50 to see Kane and Khali recreate WM3 "magic".
Mark Kohn
Great Column! That was some of the best analysis of a wrestling match (Cena v. HBK) I have ever read and from the match itself to Where do we go from here? I like the guy, Cena and am impressed with his ability to deal with what seems to be a bizarre situation. The WWE has ended the last two WMs with matches where they know their top babyface will get heavily booed. And he has to play face throughout the whole thing. Rock got to be heel when the Toronto crowd basically turned Hogan face at WM 18. But Cena is selling so much merchandise that they will not turn him. But he is booked as you said as the underdog who has to overcome all the odds. But many people want him to lose and at the last two WMs they have really wanted him to lose.
Remember when HHH retained at WM 16 and many people went nuts because a heel
walked out for the first time as champ. Well, now we have a situation where the face is winning but most of the crowd is pissed off. I sort of feel sorry for HBK. I have had some problems with him as I think he sometimes doesn't really sell (in matches) (WM 19 against Jericho - the work on the back) but everyone knows HBK is the better wrestler. I was at Summerslam 2005 and having Hogan just kick out of the elbow and take forever
after the big boot made me sad for Shawn. His promo on Monday made me feel he is pissed at constantly putting over the bigger star but not the better wrestler. Lastly, the proto-drop looks so weak to me it is amazing. For a guy as muscular as Cena his moves (Proto-drop, FU and STFU) look so weak it blows my mind.Watch Fallen Angel Christopher Daniels do the Blue Thunder Bomb and see how that move should be done.
Sorry so long, but I read many reviews for WM 23 and yours by far was the most analytical. Loved the part about the WM and HBK mystique.
We're going to look back on this one day and realize what a great wrestler HBK was and how much the WWE really needed him, however we'll also realize just how much of a gimmicky match or overselling opponent Cena needs to put on a decent match. I'm still hating the Proto-drop as it is seriously weak and the only move that he even pulls off that looks like a legit power move is the FU and even that is hit and miss. I guess I just don't get Cena's character because his look, wrestling style, and moveset seem to be completely disjointed. Say what you want about him, but he's merely the ‘best of what's around' at the moment. Meaning someone needs to give Robby McAllister that singles push we've all been begging for. "I'M ROBBY!!"
A rather mysterious Thecraigster72 bring some Cena love…or not:
Wrestlemania was nothing more than utter shit!!!!!! C'mon!!!!!!! John Cena???? Again???? This is the same exact ending as last year!!!!!! And for the second straight year I was screaming at my TV because of the ending!!!!!!!! John Cena is nothing more than a mid card comedy act and he's been shoved down my throat so fuckin much in the past 3 years that I'm starting to tune out WWF/E! I don't want to see John Cena in wrestling ever again!!!!! He's not credible at all and he is ruining wrestling for me!!!!!!!!
To be fair this isn't the EXACT ending as last year's WM because I don't remember seeing HHH giving Cena a "5 Knuckle shuffle" of his own while they were lying on the ground for 5 minutes. I think Cena is definitely main event level in the fact that he's over, he has a good look, has some mic skills, and he can kick it up a notch for big matches. The problem is that he's in the mold of Big Show back when him, The Rock, Austin, HHH, and Mick Foley were all wrestling. He easily could win the title at any time, but he should be no better or worse than any other of the same level competitors around. He is booked as a "Superman" because he has no peers. Why does he have no peers? Because the writers won't make him any. Edge is Cena's ‘bottom boy', Orton is a joke after he's lost every feud sans Mick Foley he's ever had, and HBK is now merely a jobber to the "real stars". It's sad. John Cena's title reign is a joke now because its not a matter of him being the fan's choice, the best wrestler, or the most dominant, it's a matter of the booking. When a guy so ridiculously goes over everyone as spectacularly as he does every match it just reminds you just how scripted wrestling really is. It really breaks down the 4th wall more than we'd ever want to believe. I just hope they find Cena's ‘kryptonite' soon. But if he's anything like me, then it's probably Japanese strippers in school girl costumes and loose boundaries on lap dances. Book it!!
Josh Russell doesn't much like the scenery around these parts:
i read the transcript about how much you love batista and that cena isn't that bad and khali could put anyone over, yet later you state that you're a smark? that must be a typ0. it should definitely read "mark."
very little in this column lead me to believe that you have a smart mark view of wrestling. i had heard great things about 411mania.com. yet, as i have viewed the site for the last week, i see no reason to frequent the site. wrestlezone posts the same news 1802370137 times a week, but at least they know their role in the industry,
Well I guess I can't fault Josh too much because he just started reading 411, otherwise if he had read other TBT's in the past he would know I have an ironic love for Batista based solely on his half Pinoy status. Yeah, the guy WAS cool, and WAS a good main event guy, but until he turns fully heel, he'll just be a big hossy face without much motivation. Still, I think a good heel turn will re-energize him for another run at the top. Also, I hate Cena. I said as much in my column so no idea why he didn't pick that up. I also never said anything about Khali putting anyone over. No clue where that came from. Maybe he should re-read the column.
As far as 411mania being a disappointment, well, to each their own I guess. We have an assload of great writers here. *No gay jokes intended…but if they were then it would have been aimed at the following writers…j/k* If you can't find at least one column you don't like then I don't know what to tell you. I would hope you would give the site another week, but if not, have fun at wrestlezone. I remember that was the first wrestling site I ever was introduced to. Haven't been back in years though, something a kin to getting hand jobs from a dead fish of a girlfriend for a year then trading her in for a newer model and discovering oral sex for the first time. Yes, you heard it here, "Read 411mania.com, it's like your first BJ all over again". I wasn't sure if he was done or not since it ended abruptly but I'd love to hear what Josh thinks of 411 after the second introductory week.
Robert Komisar went to his first PWG show last weekend and…well…wasn't too impressed:
Hey, just thought I'd add my two cents as a first-timer at PWG.
First, the good:
The venue was nice and clean, in an easily accessible location, and there was plenty of parking. The staff and all of the wrestlers were friendly and accommodating all nite. The wrestling was good...not great.
Now, for the bad:
Doors scheduled to open at 4pm. Doors did not open till at least 5pm. Then the rope breaks. Then the stalling begins. The show finally starts around 1` 1/2 hours late with two matches that have to largely work around the fact that there is no bottom rope. Not a great start. Now, this isn't just me as a first time attendee that was bothered. Many of the PWG regulars were pretty annoyed. On a nite when PWG drew their largest crowd to date, and had a card that should have been blow-away, all of the garbage with the delays and the rope sucked a TON of life out of the crowd, and it seemed to take a lot out of the wrestlers, as well. I thought many of the guys looked very unsure of their safety working in that ring, and many of the fans that I spoke to said they were not having a very good time, and were actually pretty bored. Unfortunately, the entire organization came off as VERY Bush League, on a nite they really could not afford to do so. The whole thing just seemed very disjointed.
As for the wrestling, itself:
I thought the wrestling was good (for the most part), but the fact that PWG does not feature much in the way of 'story' I felt hurt their product. If there is no real rhyme or reason for WHY anyone is fighting, then everything is just a big exhibition, with nothing at stake. I did not think any of the matches were anywhere near the 4-star mark. To be honest, I was pretty disappointed with Claudio/Shelley (and Shelley nearly pulling a Mark Briscoe after yelling 'I'm gonna kill myself!' was a pretty scary moment), Davey/Hero (I had a feeling this one would feature a lot of stalling and crowd play, and it did), and the Arrogance/Jack and Roddy tag match. After reading a bunch of positive stuff about Arrogance on the 'net, I did not see what all the hype was about. The tag match with Colt/Kikutaro/etc. was fine, and Kikutaro's speech afterwards was a really nice touch that I enjoyed. Top Gun Talwar has the worst gimmick ever. The six man was...whatever, although I can see lots of potential in the Machine Gun. The three best matches, IMO were PAC/Kaz, Joe/Ki, and Generico/Tornado. Generico/Tornado reminded me of a heavily booked ECW match, which was fine by me. Candace getting thrown around was pretty good, and Generico really nailed her with that boot when Tornado pulled her in front of him. I thought the match could have been a little 'tighter' though. I was not overly impressed with Tornado, this being my first time seeing him in action. Generico is gold, though. PAC/Kaz was definitely the surprise of the nite, and I felt it was the best match that actually had the crowd into it based on the wrestling, not WHO was involved. Exciting match that had the crowd on it's feet. Joe/Ki...it was good for what it was. But, as someone that has seen ALOT of these guys work, it was a little underwhelming. To me, they seemed to be working a TNA match that was trying to be an RoH match. In a way, they seemed to be 'going thru the motions' so to speak. I hit all my stuff, you hit all your stuff, then a finish. They were definitely holding alot back, especially on some of the striking exchanges. Lastly, the Joey Ryan/Kevin Steen match was a nice little brawl. Nothing special, nothing bad. The spot with Steen giving him the package piledriver after stepping up onto the chairs was pretty sick. Joey Ryan definitely has a future.
Conclusion:
I would have liked to have seen this show go off without a hitch, rather than all of the bush-league crap that happened. I think the show suffered ALOT due to the pre-show problems. I think I probably would have enjoyed (and most of the crowd, for that matter) everything a whole lot more, and been alot more 'into' the show, if it wasn't for the fact that a show that was scheduled to begin at 5pm was not over until around 10:30pm. Now, I am not going to hold this nite against PWG, and am intending on giving them another chance (mainly because The Briscoe Brothers, Bryan Danielson, and CIMA are coming), but another one like this and I think I will pass after that. You gotta' have your shit together if you wanna' make money and stay in business. It will be interesting to see how this show comes across on DVD. I think it will come off much better.
One last thing:
Never in my life have I seen more Dungeons and Dragons playing, Star Trek watching, Star Wars convention attending, Metallica shirt wearing, long greasy haired, pimple-faced, geekazoid, black trenchcoated, high school outcasts in one place as I did last nite. Since when is it a rule that if you are a wrestling fan, that you also have to live in your mom's basement, work at a video store, live vicariously through Everquest online, have no girlfriend, and have no personal hygiene? Jack Evans seemed genuinely shocked after the show to meet someone that wasn't a totally geeky 17 year old wanting to talk to him about this or that match, or this or that angle. Anyone ever heard of just talking to these people like they are human beings just like you and me? I got a chance to speak with Joe/Ki/Jack/Davey/Roddy/etc. after the show and never once did I talk to them about WRESTLING. Me and Davey spoke about his time living in Tennessee. Jack and I talked about college, and the fact I am working on my Phd. Joe and I talked about his flight from Mississippi. Ki and I talked about how bad the Jarrett family sucks (I went to high school with Jeff's son). Colt and I tlaked about passover, and how we both had to be told by someone that it wasn't over, yet. Moral of the story: You can be a wrestling fan without being a 'marky' idiot when you meet these guys. Oh, and if you are wondering if you might have seen me last nite, I was the guy wearing the white Philadelphia Eagles jersey #53 that was standing on top of a chair most of the show in the back.
Where to start, where to start? Well, #1. the show wasn't scheduled to start until 5:00 pm and to be honest, usually that means the doors open around that time and the matches start about 10 to 30 minutes later. I have no excuse for the top rope breaking, that shit was ridiculous. But to be fair, in all of my 2 years of watching PWG that is the first time it ever happened, although at the worst possible time. I think next time they'll be better prepared. But as far as "Bush league", it's an Indy fed. Anything less than WWE or TNA is going to kinda come off like that, even RoH isn't as polished as it could be, although still the "elite" of Indy feds. I guess as far as the wrestling goes it's a matter of taste. I loved a couple of the matches, some were pretty good, and some were a waste. As far as "no storylines", if you don't follow PWG then you wouldn't get it. There aren't announcers like when you watch RAW and Smackdown to let you know why people are feuding, plus it's "All-Star Weekend", hence "All Stars" coming to PWG to just wrestle, no storyline needed. Not ever show, Indy or other has reasons for each match. I think right now the biggest stars of the weekend were El Generico, PAC, Kaz Hayashi, Alex Shelley, and to some degree Roderick Strong and Rocky Romero. But yeah, it's a matter of personal taste and I think Night 1 was better as it didn't have the drag Night 2 did with the rope situation.
The Tag Tournament should be awesome, for those of you who don't know the tournament will feature: The Briscoe Brothers, the Kings of Wrestling, Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin, Naruki Doi and Masato Yoshino, the Havana Pitbulls, Arrogance, Super Dragon and Davey Richards, and Roderick Strong and Jack Evans. Nothing to sneeze at, also CIMA vs Bryan Danielson. Damn!! Oh yeah, don't forget about PAC and El Generico, and my personal ‘dream match' of Don Fujii vs Stalker Ichikawa Z. Ass whoopin' to the puro power. As far as a lot of Indy losers being at the show, it happens. Although a lot of people just enjoy the wrestling so mullet, greasy complexion, Pantera shirt, and 16 sided dice be damned. You'll find more than a couple interesting and somewhat normal people to talk to anyways. To be honest, I "mark out" myself at times, and I really don't give a f*ck who knows about it. It happens more often then not so trying to be all "buddy buddy" with wrestlers by trying not to ‘mark out' is almost a mark out of it's own. Deal with it, own it, make it your own. Marking out is every true fans right. Now visiting their myspace page, 8 times a day and leaving comments, that's just creepy. Oh, btw, I did see you and accidentally almost knocked you down after the show trying to get Jack Evans to autograph a little paper mache' lucha doll. Yep, me and my smart mark self. See ya at the Tag Tourney.
6 Degrees Results
Honorable Mention
Mark Satrang squeezes out a quickie…so to speak:
B--
Here's a quick 6DO I thought of off the top of my head at work.
1) Tom Wopat's character of Luke Duke was played by Johnny Knoxville in the big screen Dukes of Hazzard adaption...
2) Knoxville starred with Steve-O on Jackass...
3) Steve-O no-sold and then got stiffed by Umaga during the 3 RAW Homecoming RAW last October...
4) Somehow Umaga and The Rock are related, involves some cousins and brothers and hell I don't know...
5) The Rock and Triple H have had one of the most epic fueds ever in the E's history, building up from low card Intercontinental Title fued to upper-mid card fued to main event level and beyond...
6) Triple H actually lost to Duke "The Dumpster" Droese on the Free For All before Royal Rumble '96...
I believe they are cousins, Umaga and the Rock that is…not HHH and ‘The Dumpster'.
#3
Thomas Williams with a repeat performance:
Well, I took some time off from the possum hunting and decided to give the 6DO another try, and come on, it was Luke Duke. I gotta.
1. Duke Droese biggest feud was with Hunter Hurst Helmsley in 1996.
2. Helmsley was the leader of the stable Evolution
3. At Wrestlemania XX, Evolution beat the team of Mick Foley and The Rock
4. The Rock made his film debut in The Rundown with his co-star Sean William Scott
5. Sean William Scott played Bo Duke in the 2005 film, The Dukes of Hazard
6. In the original Dukes of Hazard television show, Luke Duke was played by Tom Wopat.
Mmmm… possum. The other other other other white meat.
#2
Double C (Corey Cotton) manages to work in Adrien Brody…which is weird…and disturbing:
Hey, dude. Hope you're feeling better. My 6DO for this week:
1. Along with playing the immortal Luke Duke, Tom Wopat played a senator in an episode of "Smallville", a television show which tells the tales of a young Clark Kent.
2. Clark Kent / Superman was played by George Reeves in the 1950's television show "The Adventures of Superman".
3. The 2006 movie "Hollywoodland" was about the life and death of George Reeves, and it starred Adrien Brody.
4. Adrien Brody was in the 2001 movie "The Affair of the Necklace" with Christopher Walken.
5. Christopher Walken was in the 2003 movie "The Rundown" with The Rock.
6. The Rock went to school at, and played football for, the University of Miami, which is where Mike "Duke The Dumpster" Droese attended as well.
Well I am feeling better, thanks for asking. On an unrelated "necktie" note, has any wrestler ever used the "Sicilian Necktie" as a finishing move? I'd assume it would be either a choke out or a neckbreaker. Or… if you're Vito, a reverse roll-up while holding the crotch.
#1.
6 degrees:
tom wopat was in dukes of hazzard with john schneider
Schneider was in an episode of king of the hill, as was Dusty Hill of ZZ Top
Dusty made a cameo in "Bones", starring David Boreanaz (uncredited, oddly enough)
David was in an episode of Married with Children, as was King Kong Bundy
Bundy was a wrestler Ted DiBiase managed, as was The Ringmaster, Steve Austin
Austin headlined WM 17, which also featured a gimmick battle royal, which Duke Droese was a part of
one thing that bugs the crap out of me is HAVING to do 6 degrees, when I couldve done it in fewer
Manu Bumb
No real rhyme or reason for this win except I had just saw that episode of Futurama where they parody "Married with Children". I used to love that show, until I realized that Bud Bundy must have been an Indy wrestling fan. Okay Manu you get a shot at the big time, so choose wisely for next week's 6DO, and NO…Hayhurst can NOT be a degree.
Left Overs…
With Booker T out for a couple months after knee surgery you have to wonder what the hell the whole Queen Sharmell scuffle was about. Are they really setting up an angle that far in advance that they are teasing dissention now for July or August? This either means that he will return sans the "King" portion of his gimmick so another King of the Ring can be crowned, or he comes back with some amnesiac gimmick. Or… they pull a Fake Diesel/Razor Ramon on us and Stevie Ray replaces him for the time being. If we see "Booker T" jobbing to Phil LaFon and Marc Mero in the next few weeks we'll know I was right.
Hardcore Holly having elbow surgery, which explains the injury angle with Snitsky last week. You know, the least they could have done is sprang for Mark Henry to come in and put Holly out. I mean, the man is a veteran for God's sake, spare no expense.
I really hate what they are doing with ECW and their title scene right now. So my choices are either Lashley as the face champ, or as the heel champ a big bald ‘roided up monster with a ridiculous fetish? Um… or Snitsky.
Apparently Hogan vs Lawler has been moved to a stadium big enough to accommodate 19,000 wrestling fans. Hogan admits that they won't draw that many due to the short notice but he's hoping to draw at least 4,000 fans as to beat the last RAW show there. In order to spike attendance he may consider having Knobbs and Ed Leslie show up. Well that could get him to maybe 3,990. Then rumors surfaced he may have Brooke perform a number…well 2,000 is a good number too.
Stone Cold Steve Austin is hitting the Redneck Trifecta this coming week as he will show up on the Country Music Awards, Tom Green Show, and grand marshal a NASCAR race. If he can just manage to get married and beat his wife by next Sunday he'll be 4 for 4.
TNA and Spike TV are still hashing out exactly what TNA is going to get in terms of expanding programming. A 2nd hour, a "UFC Unleashed" type hits n' highlights show, or maybe a talk show. Why is it that I could image a talk show with Christian Cage as the host and Tomko as his band leading side kick. "How about a little letter opening music Tomko?" "No."
Random thought: Do you think in the Congo they have their version of "Fear Factor" where the contestants have to eat a double bacon cheese burger and cheese fries? "Oh…oh my…Oh my Gods…I can't…I … can I at least put a cockroach or dung beetle on it first?"
TNA is planning a UK tour either this year or early next year. I wonder if they'll keep running the old Rhyno/AJ feud and do a second version of the "12.87 Kilometer Street Fight".
I loved it when CM Punk hit the "Go2Sleep" how Taz called it, "Patented CM Punk". Yeah… cuz' apparently patent laws don't apply internationally. How the hell did KENTA forget to copyright that move? But I guess it makes sense to steal from the middle class and give to the rich, they did the same thing with the Van Terminator as Shane McMahon gets to use the move but RVD doesn't anymore. I wonder if every time HHH refuses to job to someone they'll call it "Patented Hulk Hogan".
Since the Four Horsemen DVD came out, wouldn't it be apropos to have Flair either reform the Horsemen or come up with a new version? Only THIS time, all Black guys. Shad Gaspard is Arn Anderson, Shelton is Tully Blanchard, and Mini-boogeyman playing the part of "contributions of Paul Roma to the 4 Horsemen".
Trish Stratus is opening up a yoga studio in Toronto. Which will be the first yoga studio to run with a 98% male membership. Boy I wonder how hard it would be to take a class taught by Trish and remain in the "frog position" while masturbating at the same time?
How retarded was it that Leila didn't know how to get out of the wrestling ring when Snitsky interrupted the ECW Nitro girls? I mean, does that make her the STUPID one of the group? Well the ironic thing was to see Snitsky lay his big foot into Balls. Where as on RAW he was known to lay his balls into a big foot.
So next week's episode of "House" will feature some footage from TNA. I believe this is the episode where Vince Russo is treated for rectal trauma after months and months of pulling storylines out of his ass.
Vince vs Misterio is rumored to be planned for Summerslam. Already in the works is a promo where Vince says that Misterio is one of the only wrestlers with grapefruits to match his. He also has oranges, roses, and boxes of cherries out by the entrance ramp to the arena.
In what alternate reality is Candice Michelle a real match for Victoria? My guess is the alternate reality where Wet T-Shirt contests are used to solve international conflicts.
Random Asian Bitch Lookin' Good Pic of the Week
Gail Kimcito or El Hija de Gail Kim...your choice.
Oh man, Buff Bagwell is now holding bookings for the American Males OR Vicious and Delicious with Scotty Riggs and Scott Norton respectively. Or I guess both of them an "Vicious and Delicious Males" triple team seems like a great use of Indy booking money. Or you could afford 12 midgets instead. Yeah, I might go with the midgets.
No Mark Briscoe for the upcoming RoH shows. Apparently he is still suffering complications from the bad spill he took last show when he botched an SSP and was accidentally knocked smart.
Who the hell was that kid that got to book the Backlash main event on RAW? How is booking Randy Orton in a main event ANYONE's big wish? I don't care if the kid is only 8 years old, there has to have been a part of his letter to the WWE that said,"…and I want to meet HBK and HHH and Jeff Hardee and Mic Foly, and I want to see John Cena ressel, and I want to have Maria touch my pee pee..". *Wait, was that Csonka's letter by mistake?*
Pimpin' In High Places
Someone tell that dude who reads...*snicker*...Wrestlezone...*snicker*.... to click some Muthafunkin' links this week:
Ask 411 hasn't lost it's smile. Just a tooth or three...I mean, it is written from Kentucky after all.
That SOB Jules has the top WCW matches as well as a ridiculously familiar gimmick of showing hot chicks in his column. Hmm, he takes the Top 10 thing from Cook, and now my use of gratuitous hot bitches?? Well, at least he's stealing from the best....and Cook too.
O'Dog has 5 times the goodness this week. Or 1/5 the goodness 5 more times than usual. Um... shit. I'm Asian, I should be able to figure this out.
Shorty thinks CM Punk isn't ripping off KENTA, it's a "tribute". Funny, cuz' if you accidentally overhear a guy on the phone repeating his credit card number and you get caught buying $200 worth of Hentei (hypothetically of course *cough cough* I'll get you the cash later Byers) then you can tell the cops it wasn't identity theft it was a "tribute".
HH has WM23 Highlights. Some may call it being a week late. I call it "throwback".
CoH has no honor, it has Hero, but no honor. Poor Ari, he must feel so violated. I still don't know how he got that crude looking "CH" tattoo carved into his lower back...but he kept mumbling something about "Oz" and I figured...better not to ask.
Minotti asks if the WM23 losers can be champs. Hmmm...Minotti... wait...phonetically that's...Me Naughty? That dude's either Italian or an Oriental Handjob House. Or both. Welcome Newb.
Threat x 3 have high hopes for Colt Cabana in the WWE. Or as he'll be known in ECW, Monty Brown. Because that would be a mind fuck and a half.
Jor-L brings back Shelley to face Jericho. Because he'll do anything to avoid Tomko is my best guess. C'mon....C'mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon.
Berman can't get enough of CM Punk and Raven. This time they pull in Colt and Daniels for their trouble. TNA vs WWE, huh? I wonder if Colt is going to steal Marufuji's moveset when he goes to ECW?
Evo Scheme is making it one column at a time... this time some Dude Love. No...not gay sex....or...if it'll get you to click the link...then sure.
D-Dubya is screwing with The Rock and HHH this week. Man, I would give John Cena's right nut to have those guys back on RAW right about now. Oh wait, I should ask HBK for it, I think he still has a hold of it.
Buy of Sell debuts. It's like ‘Fact or Fiction's little bro, only more emo...I mean Indy. Go check it out and suckle at the proverbial teet of Indy knowledge.
Oh yeah, I did a live report of PWG's All Star Weekend 5 Night 1 and Night 2 just the results, cuz' at some point one of the usual re-cappers will buy the DVD in like 7 months when it's released. Just a bit of a delay...but I'm still waiitng for ASW2 to come out. Oh well, good stuff, buy the DVD *thumbs up*. Man, I need to get a cut of the action for all this free whoring... I mean advertising I'm doing in my column. Heh heh.
I am faced with the possibility of 5 weeks without Indy wrestling. It's almost too much to bare. I'm getting a little edgy...maybe a bit desperate. Like I might do something crazy...like watching a Joey Ryan match on Saturday. Oh god....oh GOD...I need help...I need HELP....oh man..... maybe a couple RoH DVD's will take the Edge off. Or Lita....ohhh wait...that GETS the Edge off. My bad.
