WRestling’s 3R’s 4.13.07: RETRO Lockdown ‘06, Building Lethal Lockdown ‘07, The World’s Greatest Jobbers, Punk’s New Breed, Trouble with The King and Queen and More!
Posted by Larry Csonka on 04.13.2007
I wrote this column with an awesome fedora like Vince McMahon wears.
The 3R's of wRestling
Introduction~!
Welcome back kids for another edition of Wrestling's 3R's! As always I am Larry Csonka, along with me is my tag team partner "The Whole Geoffin Show" Geoff Eubanks. It is time again for that walk through the wild world of wrestling TV that we take each and every week. Lots to cover, so lets get to work!
How the 3R's of wRestling Work!
Here is a quick explanation of the 3 R's. I will take the 5 main shows (6 if I go RetRo) of the week: TNA Impact, WWE Raw, ECW on Sci-Fi and WWE Smackdown. If we have a PPV, that show will get a special PPV edition of the R's all to its own. I then group my feelings on the shows in various categories: The Right, the wRong and the Ridiculous. The Right is stuff that worked very well: a great promo, a great match and so on. PuRgatoRy is a section between the right and wrong. It shows equal traits from both sides that cannot be ignored and need discussed. It is not a bad place per say, as things can get remedied or go the wrong way the very next week. The wRong is what it sounds like: bad matches, bad or boring promos and so on. The Ridiculous is stuff that had no right on TV: Stupid angles, Diva searches and so on. And there is always a possibility of a 5th R, which is as bad as they come, unless you are TNA. They have a special R all of their own, the 6th R; the Russo-FN-Riffic~!
This column is supposed to be analytical, and at the right time very critical of the shows, it was the whole reason it was created. This is not a "mark" column, nor a "smark" column, I cannot speak for Geoff, but my goal is to analyze the show from many different fronts, reward the good and call out the bad. There are also occasions where I will bring out a 4th, 5th or even a 6th R to the column, so beware of those~! I will not apologize for my opinions, they are as they are, whether very positive or negative.
iMpact!:
iMpact 4.05.06:
The Right:
8-Mile Street Fight/Building Lethal Lockdown - Impact kicked off last week with a promo from Team Cage. Tomko was proud of his plan, which Christian tried to take credit for. This was funny shit as they were trying to be a team, yet all had their own agenda's. We then moved onto the 8-Mile Street fight between Rhino and Tomko. Overall it was a fine little brawl, it was energetic and the crowd loved it. Overall it was fine stuff, Abyss ran in, Rhino fought him off and won. Team Cage and Angle both hit the ring, and Team Cage ran supreme as they had the number advantage. Team Cage then celebrated and proclaimed that they have already won Lockdown. Cage then said he knows a good club and they should go and party, well everyone except Abyss. He said Abyss has to learn to be a real team player and told him to clean up the mess. That was hilarious and fits the mentality of Cage and his team. Later we saw dissention in Team Angle as they were pissed about being beat down 5-3. Finally during the town hall meeting Sting made his allegiance known helping Team Angle. Angle also promised to reveal the final member of Team Angle next week. This was a good show long story that builds to the main event of the PPV rather well, so good work here.
puRgatory:
The Town Hall Meeting - There is a big part of me that loves the Cornette "Town Hall Meetings." First of all it gives Cornette a platform of almost 10-minutes to talk and be awesome. The man doesn't get to talk enough sometimes, one of his biggest talents, let him use it. Also, I like the idea of the boss coming out and saying, "Listen up bitches, you're wrestling this douche bag and you are wrestling that cocksucker. It just has a good feel to it the way he does things, Cornette is awesome and I can dig it. Also the good news was that they didn't wait until the show before the PPV to announce 3 or 4 matches like last time. They did it with some time for it to sink in, and for us to have a chance to see the final build. That's a good thing. That being said, this was once again the MAIN EVENT INTERVIEW. I don't care how much they say, "We are Wrestling" or how many times that Cornette says, "This is a wrestling show." When more often than not you end with an interview, the wrestling is on a back burner and that is not a good thing.
The wRong:
STARR vs. Senshi - Much like last week's "Xcape Match" I have to question TNA running a match, that they have run on consecutive PPV's and are again running at this PPV on free TV. I mean, is no one thinking there? Jeff, Dutch, Russo; anyone? Seriously, why would you do this? It makes no sense and devalues the match even further. Add to that the whole towel thrown in thing by Backlund and logic leaves. The announcers tries to say that he was saving Senshi for that PPV so he could beat Starr, fine, but in the character of Bob Backlund why would he throw in a towel? The man's character is HAUNTED by the fact that he lost the world title off of a thrown in towel, so why would he subject another man to that? No sir, I did not like this at all.
VKM vs. LAX - Didn't like this at all either. First of all LAX is in a feud with 3D. They shouldn't be involved with any other tag team on the roster, only focused on defending their titles. Also, VKM haven't done anything special to earn a match with them. Finally, there is no reason that LAX shouldn't have went over with a pin victory. Having 67 Latino's run in and get a DQ on LAX is lame as hell, and makes them look weak, like they can't defeat the VKM. So sir, I didn't like it at all.
11:20 - Some people think I am being hard on TNA about this, because I don't keep track of the other programs as much. But here is the fact, TNA proclaims, "WE ARE WRESTLING." But the fact is that they aren't giving the viewer a lot of wrestling from week to week. I know that they need to hold off the great matches for PPV, but they also have to give a good enough match product for people to want to buy the PPV's. The last 5-weeks this is how the match time has broken down:
-11:20
-12:35
-11:28
-10:40
-10:40
The main problem is this. TNA is 2nd best at everything right now. They come off as the WWE's 4th brand to a lot of people. There was a time when they were putting on the best PPV's in the business, but that time is past as the last few have been mediocre to good. There have been times when they had great TV shows, and they changed. Great PPV, changed. Great wrestling, changed. Great X-Division, changed. Great Tag Teams, changed. They have never sat down and decided that they want to be the best at one thing, so they are 2nd best at everything. They say "WE ARE WRESTLING" and fail to deliver on TV, and that is why I mention it the way I do.
In the end, it stays the same. I have continued and will continue to say that and will maintain to say as long as needed, they need to offer up as close to as much wrestling time as there are commercials. There are 18-20 minutes of commercials per episode of Impact. So hence forth as I have said, I feel that there should be around 15-18-minutes of wrestling action per week, minimum on Impact. Sure there are times when you can have more story than in ring action, but the fact that this is a regular occurrence is disturbing. But until they do this regularly, then I will consider it a wrong.
The Ridiculous:
The Sting SHITdown interview - The Sting sit down interview this week, well, it sucked. It was just bad. First of all they had this "ominous music" playing in the background. I hated this because it was there to try and MAKE you feel like this was a serious and scary thing. You don't need that bullshit, if the promo is done right, THEN it elicits the feelings that you want. And then Sting apologizes for outing the secret, because he didn't think it would turn out this way and hurt him. Sure, you're just telling millions of people that a masked freak shot someone. No reason he would get pissed. And then it turned into a pity party for himself. He said he was on top of the world and now it is all falling apart. That this is not how he wanted to go out after two decades and that he has to go home and look at his family and himself, and know he failed. Boo hoo, you're the worst baby face ever! I would use my worst Christian Ever joke but some of my, "fellow Christians" seem to have no sense of humor.
SmackDown!: By: "The Whole Geoffin Show" Geoff Eubanks
SmackDown 4.06.06
Hoo-RAW! So stoked! I got second row, center seat tickets just behind the orchestra pit at The Greek for Stevie Nicks! She's been a favorite of mine since I was in sixth grade, have only seen her live once and, as the gal is a year younger than my mother, I don't know how much more touring she's got left in her, bless her, although touring is probably still a relatively new experience for her, being in the moment enough to actually appreciate it and not lost in a fairy wonderland of cocaine and prescription drugs.
By the time you read this, I should be sitting pretty on my new sofa/chaise suite from Chi'asso in Chicago. This was a big step for me, as my old set up were both hand-me-downs and, as such, decidedly not my taste as much as the new stuff. Wanna see…? Check it, yo…or are we still saying, "Peep dis"…? I hope not. At any rate: http://www.chiasso.com/store/item.aspx?DepartmentId=36&ItemId=51420 I opted out of the ottoman. I'll get back to you on how comfy it is. (In Borat voice) "I cannot wait make the fuck on it!"
One last note before we get romping this week. Okay, I realize it's not a popular thing in the IWC to admit being wRong, pompous assholes that we are, but it would be absolutely hypocritical of me to curse the ignorance of those who disrespected the 2007 Hall of Fame inductees and not check myself for my own like ignorance. I had a passing acquaintanceship with Dusty Rhodes' career prior to his embarrassing WWF tenure (which I will still maintain was a slap in the face to the legend he'd built prior and elsewhere) and knew basically who and what he was about. However, after (finally) viewing the WWE-produced DVD set recently, I have to admit that I had no idea exactly his ability and contribution to the world of professional wrestling. Yet again did Vince McMahon manage to take the least of a performer (or, at least, such performer's lowest common denominator attributes) and push those to the fore, while burying everything that made such performer deserve to be put on Vince's huge stage in the first place. While certainly NOT a technical marvel in the ring, Stardust knew how to work a crowd and worked his considerable ass off in so doing. The passion with which he conducted himself in interview and promo spots was second to none (Brother!), and it was so obvious that his ability to think on his feet was always in full throttle with a mic in front of him. But most of all, here was a man who decidedly did NOT have the typical wrestler's physique, but could still go an hour a night in the ring, six days a week and twice on Sunday. Not since I swam in high school have I ever had that quality of cardio going for me and grappling in the squared-circle is just a hair more high impact, so, if nothing else, I have to respect the man for that. Besides, SmackDown! remains the greatest WRESTLING show on television and guess who holds the book? The man who's "wined and dined with kingth-n-queenth an' laid in alleyth with poke-n-beanth". Good enough for me. And so, I remove Dusty Rhodes from my "Top Ten Most Hated Wrestlers" and apologize wholeheartedly to Big Dutht for all the years of ignorantly bagging on him, based upon that awful WWF run. You're okay in my book, Dusty, and thanks for everything. Eef you weee-yull.
The Right:
Mister Money In The Motherfuckin Bank, BITCH!!! – Maybe I'm in such a forgiving mood this week because there was a healthy, heaping serving old school justice served at WM and Mr. Motherfucking Kennedy became Mister Money In The Bank at WM!!! I've put over this seemingly bottomless well of talent for months and shall continue to do so, especially since it appears we've only begun to tap his potential and we'll continue to see more from him as he's allowed to grow as a performer. For those of you popping MVP boners all over the place expecting the next Rock, lemme suggest that you chill and notice the next Austin Kennedy. Cuz he is. And you heard it here first. And don't think five years from now I'll not be reminding you. I mean, he's got it ALL down…timing, presence, precision, improvisation, character…EVerything. And that's before he even locks up. TRUST me, friends, the only thing that can fuck this up is Vince. And he will. You watching, Dixie?
Okay, beyond the Kennedy worship, I must admit to being pleasantly shocked at the quality of match t which we were treated tonight between Kennedy and Jeff Hardy! Jeff has been the butt of many jokes over the years (some deserved, most not, this column being a guilty party, certainly, on both counts), but since returning to Vince's clutches, he appears to have gained some of his brother's mind for working a well-constructed match, one of the top three criticisms of his act during his last tenure with the E, and it's only made him and even stronger performer. Well done, Jeff! This was a nifty contest, mercifully allowed a goodly amount of time to develop before us, with excellent results. Even those of us who hold Jeff in high esteem didn't expect him to fare this well against someone like Kennedy in singles competition, both in terms of kayfabe and otherwise, and the youngest Hardy certainly didn't disappoint!
In terms of angle advancement, it appears that I was reading the lay of the land correctly, both with respect to a burgeoning face turn for Finlay (and, as such, The Little Bastard) and a program involving Kennedy and Finlay, as The Fighting Irishman pinned Kennedy to the ground, threatening him, with Mr. MitB demanding a match against The Little Bastard next week from Thaddeus "If this office be rockin, don't come a-knockin" Long for next week. As it happens, it'll be a handicap match, but I prognosticate an ENTERTAINING one, and not of those bullshit, Vince-created 2-on-1s that have had Larry crawling the walls for the last two years!
Yes, I'm just a-burstin with magnanimousness this week – When was the last time you saw the word "magnanimousness" in a wrestling column?! Mind you, I'm handing out this one on spec, having faith that McMahonagement is going to do something positive with MVP once he eventually takes the UST from Chris Benoit. Here's what I'm digging: Although it's an obvious inevitability that Benoit's dropping the UST to MVP, that trigger wasn't pulled arbitrarily and abruptly at WM as I thought it would be, and I appreciate that. Time is being taken to build an actual angle around the title change such that it means more when it actually happens and, as a consequence, MVP looks better for it. Also, by not simply handing MVP the belt, he had his happy fun-time leading to the PPV, expecting to snag the belt, and, when it didn't quite go that way for him, MVP's got on his game face, which is when his character is most effective and we see MVP in the best light. Also, although I certainly can't compare MVP to Lashley, he's still a relative newcomer, and working a somewhat extended program with a master like Benoit certainly won't hurt at all. Of course, as a Benoit mark, seeing that he's going to be subject to still another meandering secondary title run, it's disappointing, but if we can see MVP get a solid running start to something meaningful, perhaps all wasn't lost. This segment would really have completely worked if this could be the start of something for Mike Mizanin, as well, because I think he takes a bum rap from too many in the IWC, but I suppose that's probably asking too much.
Purgatory:
The population in puRgatory this week is pretty large as there are new angles developing in the wake of WM fall-out. I expect to see virtually everything eventually move up or down the scale, depending (let's cross our fingers for up!).
Wanted: Two CruiserWeights to sacrifice the CWT for a tag team that will go nowhere – Okay, while I will absolutely never complain about a match involving Brian Kendrick and Paul London tagging against Gregory Helms and Chavo Guerrero, because, as we saw tonight, these guys kick ASS together, there is so much wRong with this little combo that it almost soured the experience for me.
First of all, and I've said this before, what the HELL are Shabbo and Helms doing tagging together?! Helms should be pissed that someone else is wearing "his" CWT after never having been pinned for it, and especially never even being granted a rematch to win it back. Compound to that the fact that McMahonagement ran this IDENTICAL angle when Chavo needed some time off to rehab an injury and it makes even less sense! Furthermore, didn't Jimmy Wang Yang score a CLEAN pin over Chavo the week before WM? Where's HIS shot? No, it's more important to have a meaningless (other than incredibly entertaining) match since we eviscerated the tag ranks, because we think so much of the current WWETTCs, at WM, they got to be lumberjacks in a match that will only see the light of day when the DVD is released, even though Kane/Khali made the cut and we ended the show at least :20 early.
The King "kneed"s to take some time off – Well, by now it's no secret that My Sovereign Lord had to have some of those pesky bone spurs removed from his Royal Knee, and, by all means, he deserves some time off after being one of SD!'s consistent top franchise players for the past year (at least). He toughed out some painful months, changed up his game without altering what made him great in the first place, never dropped the ball in the ring and, with the big show behind us, it's an opportune time for him to get himself looked at, mended and healed up. He was a man and allowed Matt Hardy another big win on his way out in a stupendous match and sold a wicked table-assisted Tombstone on the way out to set up the injury angle to boot. I'm just not too sure about creating the derision between Bookah and The Delectable Queen Sharmell, though. I understand Sharmell will remain on SD! (presumably to rule the Kingdom in Our King's absence), and I'm all for that, but why put them at odds, just to take out one half of the equation off the show for a couple months? I'll admit that my absolute love for The Royal Couple makes me cringe at the notion of EVER splitting them, but it all just seemed like a roundabout manner in which to reach the end point.
Also, what's the deal with the uneven booking of Matt Hardy? Is it just me, or is he either getting a huge victory over someone like (at the time) the future Mr. Money in the Bank, Mr. Kennedy or former WC King Bookah, or else he's being made to look an absolute fool by Edge and getting his ass handed to him by Khali. As a consequence, I'd be more stoked on this win tonight, except that I think such win was more an impetus to send Bookah off the show as a vote of confidence by McMahonagement in Matt's regard, and that's a damn shame, because I think THE HARDYS have taken the WM motto to heart, are "All grown up" and ready for a REAL singles push. Unfortunately, though, it appears Vince plays the kindly old aunt who still likes to pinch the cheeks of her teenaged nephews (THE HARDYS) as she hands them coloring books, blind to the fact that they're not even virgins anymore.
Tabernacle! – Still intrigued about where this thing involving Teddy Long and Kristal is going. And yes, digging the slow-burn build still, and I think we're getting close to seeing a major development…at least we'd better be. A good, old school slow-burn is fun, but it's a delicate balance between "slow burn" and "dragging your ass". But I have faith…!
Timbaland! – Wow, this guy has about as much IWC heat as Kevin Federline. I thought this was a fun segment, personally. It was short and we got to see Jigglin Hall do her Brooke Hogan impersonation (I don't care what she said on Myspace; first, I think that was just a little pre-emptive damage control, knowing what a dick daddy Hogan is in the legal department, and, second, I like to believe for my own shits-n-giggles that Jigglin's spoofing that talentless demonspawn), which I think is absolutely hilarious. However, if this becomes a running thing leading to a series of more lengthy segments, just so Timbaland can find a chick to stick in his video, then we have problems. I'm cool if T-Land has his heart set on a diva (hell, there's a couple he can have PERMANENTLY, in my view…incidentally, what the FUCK is up with Candace Michelle's FACE?!?!?!), but the process by which he selects them belongs on WWE.com, not the programs themselves.
Get out your meat & potatoes, Gravy Boat is BACK! – That collective groan you heard all over the country last Friday night was the reaction to the promo depicting the return of The World's Wettest Man Mark Henry. Yup, Big Drippy's headed back to the ring very soon…and he's soppin mad! Seriously, I'm gonna start calling him Aquaman…except the only fish he ever talked to was Mae Young's.
BaDUMbum.
Well, I don't think anyone's particularly excited to see Henry back in the mix, but, recalling his last run, he was surprisingly good, both in the ring and on the mic, at least when compared to his prior work. Oh, but don't think for a second that Henry/Batista won't be RIVETING. And how about Henry challenging Taker for the WT? Fear not, friends, he may surprise us…and if not, he'll be injured again by fall.
The wRong:
Man of words…or man of little charisma? – Is there just something I'm not seeing, an aspect of Batista's character I'm simply not getting? Are you kidding me with that challenge? Our new WC, The Undertaker, saunters down to ring after the Druids light his path, an entrance worthy of the situation and champion, and before Taker can even open his mouth to speak a syllable, here comes Big Dave, and, so far, I'm totally cool with it. But then what happens? Batista glares at Taker and says, "I want my rematch," and that's it. He's off. You know, after the lackluster build for the WM WT match, the weight of the clash being the title versus the streak, I was kinda Hmmm about the whole thing, opting to allow the match itself be the determining factor in how I perceived the entire program. Well, sounds like the match was a hit, possibly the sleeper of the night. Well and fine. But Big Dave's charisma level is running dangerously into Shelton Benjamin levels in my view, in that the character is becoming inconsistent and wishy-washy and, from one week to the next, one just doesn't know what to expect. Maybe there was more than one reason John Cena and Batista were swapped from Raw to SD! a couple years back…?
The Ridiculous:
The Big Red Eyeroll – Okay, fine, Kane's pissed over losing to Khali at WM. Who wouldn't be (although look on the bright side, Glenn…at least you're, you know, alive!!!)? But to sacrifice what COULD have been a HELL of a tag team in Dave Taylor & William Regal to a straight double job in a matter of a couple minutes as a consequence was just STUPID. HERE'S why you employ dingbats like Duece & Domino…or, hey, this is why we have jobbers, ya know? This was unnecessary and LAME and for me to change my mind, there better be something GOOD coming from this, although I don't see what that is or could be.
Remember people, show Geoff some love by emailing him here: yostankmama@hotmail.com
RAW!:
Raw 4.09.07:
The Right:
The Ladies - I actually quite liked the little ladies tag we had this week on Raw. Unfortunately the ladies take some grief from me when it comes to working a match, so it is nice to compliment them again. First of all I will say that Candace Michelle it turning into a decent little ladies wrestler. She's no Trish, but she has obviously been learning and it is showing as she doesn't stick out like she used too. She's already better than Torrie Wilson, who's been in the business HOW long now? Anyway, fine match, Mickie gets the pin and we'll be headed towards her vs. Melina. One last thing, and I hate to discuss outfits and all, but what was Victoria wearing? She looked like Mankind's little sister or some shit, just weird. Also as far as Mickie in pants goes; she still looks hot as hell. But I will miss the skirts as she has a luscious ass.
The Redneck Whirling Dervish Wins~! - Holy shit the Redneck Whirling Dervish actually won a match! They are going to PPV! HOLY SHIT they are challenging for the tag team titles~! I really thought that they would have Flair and Carlito predictably win the match, go to the PPV and then do the break up when they lost there. But they actually pulled the trigger on that a bit early and that allowed the good old Redneck Whirling Dervish to snag the win. I am very happy about this because ever since they lost the tag titles to Kane and Show at the Cyber Sunday PPV, they were nothing but jobbed. They never got a chance to look good. Hell, Shawn even turned down a program with them and DX and HE taught Cade! They were shit on and treated poorly and they didn't deserve it. But now it appears, for the moment that they are going to get some time and get some push and have this PPV match with the Hardy's. I also think the match will be a pretty good one. The Hardy's seem rejuvenated and Cade and Murdoch have a lot to prove now that they are getting an actual good opponent and on PPV for that matter. The time is finally here, LONG LIVE the Redneck Whirling Dervish~!
puRgatory:
I have a telegram for you… - There are times in wrestling when you realize that no one knows how to be subtle. Monday on Raw, they started off the show by gibing you a great example of this with the Shane McMahon and Bobby Lashley interview. Shane came out and discusses that the McMahon name used to instill fear, but not it instills laughter due to the head shaving at WrestleMania. He said he was there to get the respect back as the fourth generation of McMahon's and called out ECW Champion Bobby Lashley. Shane said that since he took the dignity of the McMahon family, he would take what was important to Lashley, the ECW Title. As Shane grandstanded his challenge, UMAGA and Estrada came to the ring. Bobby looked to do battle, but Shane went to the floor and slapped the pimp out of Estrada and then told them he didn't need them. This was not foreshadowing, this was a telegram of the obvious that UMAGA would have something to do with the match. Also I hated that Shane made Estrada and basically UMAGA look like bitches. I mean, give us some mystery and don't have him come out, play he isn't even there and then have him come as a surprise. I had problems with this, it wasn't horrible, but wasn't great either. I have more to discuss below.
The wRong:
WrestleMania is over and so is the Creativity, Boo FN Urns - Well the shine is off the shoe kids, the hotness of the build to WrestleMania is fading and it really showed this week. HBK and young Randall had their #1 contender's match to give us a title match at Backlash. Now I knew that there was going to be some kind of clustered or "disputed" finish to the match. I knew this because of the promo by Edge last week, and even before WM they all were looking for the title shot. But what they did is go back to a finish that was being overplayed by HBK a few years ago when he was feuding with HHH. Remember, he defeated Batista on PPV with this lame double pin deal, and then when it appeared he beat HHH, it was ruled a draw. Lame. And here is the other thing, they just plain FUCKED IT UP. First of all, Orton had mo part of HBK covered, no hand on a leg or anything. And then, they didn't even have both referees count the pin FOR the actual dispute to occur. It came off poor in quality and execution. Not a good night here. So in the end we get a 4-way match for Backlash, and while they are all talented, there is no promise it will be that good. I hope that it is and they work it smart, because it has a ton of potential to rock, but equal potential to have it's share of problems due to it being a 4-way. Also, this is going to be more of the norm from now on with the whole, lets have all brands on all PPV's. I have a feeling that there will be a lot of 3 and 4 way matches, lots of regular, 6 and 8-man tags as well as other clusterfuckariffic style matches; because we have to get everyone on the shows now. BLAH!
The Ridiculous:
The World's Greatest Jobbers - Now as happy as I am for the Redneck Whirling Dervish, I am just as disappointed for the World's Greatest Tag Team. They were put back together due to them first of all having no faith in Shelton as a singles act, and secondly because they had nothing for Haas. So they put them back together and in all reality they did a good thing by doing that, but then they took a piss all over the booking as they have just made these former tag champions into a job team. As much as I like Cade and Murdoch, I feel that a WGTT vs. Hardy's feud would be awesome. Apparently that isn't in the works and they'll be headlining HEAT for the time being. Such wasted talents. They were shut out of the tag battle royal last week, only to do a job and then did a 3-minute job to the champs. What, were the fucking Highlanders busy? *Makes Angry Face*
Killing the Stipulation - So after the above-mentioned Lashley/Shane/UMAGA telegram; we finally had our main event. I really feel that Lashley shouldn't be selling for Shane, BUT they did it right with the way he jumped him. It worked. So they had their encounter and Lashley made his comeback and Shane decked the ref for the DQ finish. Now correct me if I am wrong, but Shane lost. You, they didn't deliver on the stipulation and that kills the stipulation, not good business. The beat down was fine, and they are stacking the odds against Lashley at the PPV and that works, but as for this instance, I feel that wasn't kosher.
IC TITLE? WHAT IC TITLE? Yup, the IC Title once again goes back to being useless and meaningless. What a shame. You know, when Jeff Hardy came back, he and Nitro had a damn fine feud over that title and like a fool I started to care about it again. Then they transitioned the title to UMAGA, and I was hoping that after WrestleMania they would use that to have him go on a dominating tear until someone could dethrone the monster. But they used it as a piece of jewelry at WrestleMania, as it has been for years now, and now it will remain a piece of jewelry heading into Backlash as he challenges for the ECW title, IC Title not on the line. Some people say that I get too hung up on this stuff, but the fact is that if you don't plan on booking the title effectively, then don't even have it.
ECW on Sci-Fi!:
ECW on Sci-Fi!: 4.10.07:
The Right:
Punk's Choice - For the most part this episode was built around the choice that CM Punk would make, whether to join the New Breed or align with the ECW originals. Early on RVD and Punk were talking, and RVD was putting Punk over as something ala the Originals. Then Elijah Burke came in and started his pitch for Punk, and then Punk decided that he would give everyone the answer tonight. I will say that I was a bit concerned when they trotted Stevie out there, again for the treadmill match of the week. Then when Striker and Sandman came out, I was afraid that they would have him lose. Don't get me wrong, Stevie is awesome, but he shouldn't be beating anyone getting a push right now since no one would buy it. Also I will say that the Sandman might not have been the best person to send out there to watch Punk, the whole straight edge thing and all along with Sandman being a dirty drug using alcoholic. Someone wasn't thinking there, of course, that's another reason he shouldn't be with the Originals, dirty hippie druggies. But during the main event he still hadn't made his choice, and everyone should have known he would pick the New Breed for the simple reason that the Originals are the faces, and can't have the numbers advantage, it doesn't work that way. So he came out, checked on Sabu and then did the old n W o lame swerve and joined the New Breed. As anticlimactic as it was, it works and seeing Punk a heel could be a lot of fun. Now the question is, how do he and Burke work together? They are both string personalities that need mic time and appear to be leader types. Part of me hopes this is all part of a more creative swerve in where Punk breaks away, and then brings in his own group. Cabana, Steele and a well-known WWE guy for people to associate with would be a fresh twist to the feud, making it a 3-way battle for ECW.
puRgatory:
Vince Kicks off ECW - I fully understand that Vince kicked off ECW to play off the ending of Raw. Vince and his group vs. Lashley is the big program and is a big match on the upcoming PPV. I understand that and that why this isn't a big old wrong. Besides the awesomeness of his hat, I hated the segment. It fell flat to me and was also the wrong move I felt. They dropped the ball with no follow up on the 8-man tag from last week. It was a great match and should have been played up huge with videos and such. This is a gang war for the rights to rule ECW and that match captured that feeling perfectly. But they got the shaft for Vinnie Mac's feud, as always. Sorry guys.
Cor Von vs. RVD - I was actually pretty excited for this match. When RVD is on, he is on and it is also no secret that I am a Monty Von Cor Brown fan. Monty has shown that ability to really step things up when he has too, so there was a possibility for some great stuff here. But while it wasn't a "bad match" it also wasn't that great. RVD had an "RVD Match" and Monty relied on rest holds and was very bland. Also, Monty was exposed here in a WWE ring, looking very slow due to the bigger ring size. That's not a good thing if you're him. Not horrible, but not great and it could have been worlds better, but this is all we got. Try again guys.
The wRong:
Thorne vs. Dreamer - This was essentially an "Impact Special" in my book. It was a 2-minute nothing match; with little to no quality or overall meaning. It was another New Breed vs. Originals match on the treadmill and while I appreciated their selling of last week's injuries, the overall match was bland and not needed. They all can't be winners kids.
The Ridiculous:
Snitsky - So the shit with Snitsky this week was, well it sucked. They run the angle last week where he takes out Holly, and they follow it up with him harassing the Extreme Expose. Lame. It was even worse when he went to the ring, and Layla was prevented from the invisible force field that must come standard on new rings, because I have never had that happen to me. It looked lame, and then Balls appeared from nowhere, killed Snitsky with a chair for nothing. I mean, it works for him to no sell it, but come one, do something after that. And no, big booting him in the shoulder doesn't count. It was very lame, it was boring and a huge failure to follow up on taking out Holly. So in the end, let me dust this off…"I do not now, nor will I ever give a flying fuck about Snitsky. I appreciate the attempted make over, but no about of squashes will make me consider him a threat, or even a good wrestler, and I am not talking about in ring technique per say, the overall package is what I mean. As I wrote last week, maybe if they would have started with him doing squashes at the beginning I could have gotten into this. Or maybe if he had never been brought up to the main roster when he was and he debuted now I could get into the character, but I just can't do it. He doesn't look scary really, just ugly with bad steroid acne. I am not buying him as a threat, I am not buying the character. He is there because he is big, Afa trained him and Vince has his fetish. I expect a world title run for him, joy."
RETRO LOCKDOWN~!:
The Matches:
X-Cup Preview Match: Team Japan (Goto, Minoru and Black Tiger) defeated Team USA (Dutt, Lethal and Shelley) @ 12:12 via pin ***¾ MOTN
Sin Chi defeated Christopher Daniels @ 12:18 via pin ***¼
Arm Wrestling Contest: Bullet Bob defeated Konnan (Per Stipulation LAX were strapped 10-times by the James Gang) (N-R) TOTN
Xcape match: Chris Sabin defeated Petey Williams, Puma, Elix Skipper, Chase Stevens and Shark Boy @ 13:06 via Escape ***
Anthem/Flag Match: Team 3D defeated Team Canada (A1, Roode and Young) @ 8:45 via Flag Capture **¼
NWA Title Match: Christian Cage defeated Abyss @ 19:20 via pin ***¼
Lethal Lockdown Match: Team Sting defeated Team Jarrett @ 23:51 via Submission ***1/2
The Right:
Lethal Lockdown - While elementary, the booking of the Lethal Lockdown match was perfect in my opinion. First of all for a match like this to work the heels have to win the coin toss. This ensures that you have the constant face in peril, which the crowds eat up and did eat up on this night. Also, you had to have Steiner be the last for his team and Sting the very final entrant to build up to the big ending and crowd pop, this once again worked extremely well.
First of all they picked the right 2-men to start the match in Chris Harris and AJ Styles. AJ is the kind of guy that you want going the entire match because he pulls that baby face sympathy and can flat out go. Chris Harris is also a guy that can go, and if AMW ever split he will be the one to break out I feel. They had a really good 5-minutes, which built to Storm coming out. Once again, perfect as it allowed the tag team partners to work over AJ. Rhino was next and hit the ring with some good fire, and was a good placement. JJ then gave the heels the advantage until Killings came out. Things went really well and then we had Steiner finally come out to deliver a belly-to-belly buffet to the face team. Once again he was protected in this match, doing what he is good at and nothing else. He even got the 2nd rope Samoan drop.
And then Sting appeared and did what Sting does. He did his cleaning house act and then the ceiling of weapons closed on the cage. As they started to get the weapons into play, Storm crawled through an opening to the top of the cage and AJ Styles followed. The guys in the cage basically stalled with some generic brawling while AJ and Storm took center stage. They brawled and set up a table. Storm was laid on the table and AJ then set up a ladder, on top of the cage. The danger level was high as the ladder was on a mesh structure and very unstable. He climbed the ladder, went across the light rigging at the top of the Impact Zone and splashed onto Storm through the table. It was quite the sight to see, and took both men out for the rest of the match, which worked out very well as leaving six-men in the ring and opening things up.
The match then went to the wacky finisher buffet as JJ got the stroke on Killing, onto a chair no less. JJ then ate a gore from Rhino, who in turn got laid out and put in the Steiner Recliner. Sting nailed the Scorpion Death Drop on him, but when it looked as that was the end Chris Harris had a left hand filled with a lovely spread of brass knux for the Stinger. He then locked Sting in his own Scorpion deathlock, but had it reversed and Harris tapped for the Team Sting win. Some are complaining that Sting beating Harris was stupid but I disagree. You can't have Sting defeat him already. They are building the feud still, and as much as people may not like JJ, the feud is centered on them and has to play out. It's old school booking, the star goes through the minions before finally getting JJ one on one. Over all I thought this booking was perfect and the match was a good one, and the faces winning to close the show was the way to go.
Christian Cage vs. Abyss - First of all this is one of those few times that I can deal with the NWA Title match not being the main event. The Sting vs. JJ deal has had so much invested in it, and considering the Abyss/Cage brawl got almost no reaction on the last Impact, this was the smart move. Next James Mitchell cut one hell of a promo, as per his usual a few segments before the match. This man is such an asset to TNA, especially having him with Abyss who never talks. It is just perfect. Right before the match JB tried to interview Cage, and as JB talked Cage took off his jacket, stared into the camera and slowly pushed the mic away with a dead serious look on his face. This was perfect because he didn't need to speak and even try to be clever here, he had to be dead serious.
The first thing that I surprisingly loved was the crowd brawling to start the match. Usually I hate on the "TNA/JJ" Main Event style, but with everything in the cage on this night, it was actually a pleasant change of pace. Once in the ring, Abyss totally played up his power game and tossed Cage around like a rag doll. Cage eventually fought back and got an Unprettier for two on the monster. Cage upped his game and took Abyss down again, and ascended the cage to deliver a Frog Splash from the TOP of the cage! This was high risk and the crowd totally loved it. Eventually there was a ref bump, and Abyss got the tacks. Cage climbed again, but Abyss caught him, and in a reply of last year, Sunset Flip Powerbombed Abyss into the tack, for another crowd pleasing moment. He eventually got a 2 count from the new ref. Abyss would bring more tacks into the ring, but Cage would counter a choke slam and get the Unprettier INTO THE TACKS. This finally put Abyss away and got Cage the win.
After the match, Abyss attacked Cage, bloodied him with the chain and then "hung him." Mitchell then took the NWA Title and gave it to Abyss, cementing his promise that Abyss would "leave with the title." This was a really good match, minus the ref bump and replay spots, and did a lot for Cage. Many have been down on his title run thus far, but most of the program has been solid and the match delivered big time. Now Cage has to take this momentum and run with it to make his run worth all of the hype.
The X-Division Delivers Pt. I (World X Cup Preview) - The boys of the X-Division really shined on this PPV yet again. The thing about TNA PPV's is that there is the possibility of things sucking, but you can promise that at minimum 99% of the time the X guys will deliver, and sometimes big time. The World X Cup Preview was a great way to start off the show. They had a solid 12-minutes to kick off the show and did it in stellar fashion. Team Japan impressed as they all have a style of their own, and even though I was a bit worried, they messed very well with Team USA. Alex Shelley tried his hardest to be the good team member this time; making the save repeatedly and doing everything that he could to help them win the match. The ending sequence was super hot with finishers everywhere and the crowd responded huge. Shelley accidentally super kicked Dutt and moments later Lethal fell prey to a Tiger suplex for the pin. Great opener and the X-Division keeps up their end of things to start.
The X-Division Delivers Pt. II (Xcape and Daniels vs. Low Ki) - And here we are again with the X-Division love, and deservedly so. In this part we'll break down the Xcape match and the Daniels vs. Low Ki match.
The Xcape match was another really well paced and exciting match that pleased the crowd. Sharky played his role of underdog/X-Division jobber very well, and the crowd as always loved him. He took a sick looking Canadian Destroyer for his pin and I only hope that he is ok. Skipper and Petey looked to have an alliance made by their managers, but that quickly dissolved and added to the match I felt. They pulled off some great moves, including Stevens with his sick SSP from the top of the cage. As figured, the match came down to Petey vs. Sabin. They worked well together as always and provided good action. The only thing that hurt the match was Chase Stevens totally no selling his huge move and the cutesy finish, both of which I will discuss below.
So Daniels went into the show and his opponent was them man often known as "The Dreaded Mystery Opponent ™~! It was revealed to be Low Ki, going by the new name Sin Chi, pick your spelling. When he was announced Daniels' reaction to him was priceless, ala Shelton and Charlie Haas. They stared down and finally went at it as Mike Tenay detailed some of their past history, which was well done. They had a very strong match, and looked as if they were saving some for the later matches of the show and later meeting between them which is smart, as you never give it all away in the first meeting. Chi stole the win when he reversed the Angles Wings into a roll up with the ropes ala one of their earlier ROH matches. I can see more matches with these guys playing off of this and their history, and also look forward to Chi vs. Joe.
Quality - The thing about this PPV is that from top to bottom it was a really good show, filled with quality matches and nothing bad. The arm wrestling deal was short, the faces went over, got to strap the bad guys and the crowd was into it. Joe vs. Sabu was short, but considering Sabu had a broken arm the match was solid and all action. TNA for the most part continues to deliver on their PPV's match wise, and while there was no "OMG MOTY" stuff, everything was really good and kept you attention and you did not feel ripped off by the show. Good deal TNA.
The wRong:
Mysterious TNA Management Person Announcement - This whole thing came off as planned during the show, with no real thought out resolution. I have to question if they actually have someone in place to be this new "face of management." I hope that they do, because they unfortunately have a bad habit of announcing these things and them falling through. They also tossed away Raven's return with no hype. While a PPV surprise is nice, TNA needs to take advantage of these things when they happen to try and make money off of the PPV's. They also gave away Christi Hemme's debut for free. Once again, another nice PPV surprise, but it is something they could have hyped. Sure we can argue all day whether or not she would translate to any PPV buys, but you need to do all you can to make people WANT to buy these shows. Not a big deal, but I feel that it was just some poor planning.
For the love of the lord above, would it kill some of you to sell something?!?!?! - This is directed at two people in particular. I am usually not to damn picky about a lot of things, but on this PPV there were TWO HUGE no sells that need to be mentioned.
Chase Stevens: This crazy bastard did a SHOOTING STAR PRESS off the TOP OF THE CAGE. The problem was that no one caught him and he under rotated and basically landed on his forehead. None of this is the issue. The issue is the fact that not even 10-seconds later he was up doing spots for the finish! YOU ALMOST DIED! SELL THE MOVE ASSHOLE!
Gail Kim: Oh yes Gail. I love me some Gail Kim, but she pissed me off as well. During the Lethal Lockdown match, there was a spot where the cage door got dropkicked. James Storm ducked the door and it SMASHED Gail in the face! That's right, the cage door dropkicked into her grill! And what do I see? About 2-minutes later she is up and slamming the mat cheering her heel men on. Gail, you like 110lbs and just got your grill jacked, SELL THE FUCKING CAGE DOOR! Seriously people, give me something here.
The Ridiculous:
Getting too Cute, Ref Bumps and Scott D'Amore - You know, I hate when companies get too cute with the finishes and bookings of matches. Sometimes simple and straight ahead booking is the best. Often when you try to get too creative, it comes off as contrived and like you are being too cute. This happened at this PPV, and to me took away from a lot of good work in my humble, yet honest opinion.
First of all we will discuss the finish to the Xcape match. They had a really good match, great flow, spots and eliminations (minus the Chase Stevens no sell.) So all is going well and Sabin climbs over the cage and is going down the side, but Scott D'Amore is there to stop his progress. At this point I am fine with it because I figure that Petey will scale up and over and win the match, screwing Sabin in an obvious fashion. But no, they try and get too cute and have Sabin kick away D'Amore, fight with Petey only for Petey to jump off the cage and…onto D'Amore's shoulders. Sabin then wins in a total anti-climatic and over booked fashion that took a lot away from the match I felt.
Second we have to hit the ref bump deal. The ref bump is a fucking PLAGUE on professional wrestling at this point in both WWE and TNA. We have the Team 3D vs. Team Canada match, things are going pretty well, I am digging the match and they do a shitty ref bump. 3D gets the flag and appears to win, but since the ref is bumped and out Team Canada beats them doen and puts the flag back. Now you figure that they did this so that Team Canada would win in a screw job fashion and Team 3D would have full right to bitch about it. But no, it was a Russo-iffic swerve that served no purpose because 3D just ended up winning anyway! What was the purpose? Over booking and getting too cute is what the purpose was. It really took away from the match to me, which is why I rated it lower than some others.
Thirdly we need to discuss Scott D'Amore. I am personally a fan of Scott D'Amore and think that he does a good job as the manager of Team Canada. But the fact is he is on TV WAY too much anymore and this PPV just reinforced that. I have come to the conclusion that either D'Amore needs to greatly diminish his on air role or needs to get off of the booking committee, so that his role will be diminished. It is just way too much airtime for someone who in the grand scheme isn't THAT important to the program.
PUMA - Puma made his return to TNA PPV this month, once again in a crazy X-Division multi-man match. He had a good showing, not quite as good as last month but he didn't get the time he did last month. Mike Tenay took the time to announce that Puma would be the 4th member of Team Mexico, due to his Mexican Heritage. He also put over that Team Mexico may have the advantage due to Puma training in the New Japan Dojo, and he would know the ins and outs of the Japanese team.
Now let's Tarintino back to last month's PPV where young Puma was a part of the World X Cup Preview match. This match rocked the show. They had Petey from Canada, Sabin from the US, Sonjay Dutt from India (yeah, that makes no sense either, so that's included in here as well) and PUMA from…Japan. That's right kids, Japan. Apparently PUMA turned on the Japanese and sought asylum in Mexico. I know that they have had a lot of problems dealing with the outside companies, but damn, I think they hired the WWE Lack of Continuity Editor.
Closing Thoughts:
Overall there were no bad matches, and even stuff like the arm wrestling wasn't bad as it was short and the crowd loved it. While there were no MOTY candidates, the show is very enjoyable to sit back and watch just good matches, with some crazy spots and bumps. We'll go thumbs up and 7 out of 10.
READER RANTS~!
I had a ton to share, but the column is already long. But I wanted to share this email, as they took the time to actually do the 3R's format. So from "My Thoughts 17" here we go -
The Right:
LAX vs. VKM/Booking of 10,000 Volt Electrified Cage NWA Title Match: Hey, TNA has finally got this feud right! After months of killing themselves and putting on entertaining if not classic matches, TNA is going to reward us with some logic in the building of what should be the last (and best) match of this feud. After the awesome segment a few weeks back when the Dudz brought with them their "legacy" this feud has catapulted into not only my favorite in TNA, but in all of wrestling right now that WM23 is over. That word "legacy" has legitamized this entire feud. And tonight the Dudz admitted (Thank You, TNA) that LAX doesn't need their legacy, but it is the other way around. The Dudz need the history of the NWA Tag Belts that LAX posses to cement their own legacy in the wrestling world. At first I was wary that this would be a horrible way to kill the push of LAX by having them drop the titles to Team 3D, but after Bubba's promo tonight TNA has made it so that LAX are the one's with the legacy to b gotten. So I will be happy with what should be a very entertaining match at Lockdown no matter who walks with the gold. (Although, IT BETTER be LAX).
Austin Starr/Senshi/Mr. Backlund Feud: Pretty sad when a midcard comedy feud is one of the few things you are doing right in your program. This was another feud that until tonight was on the receiving end of some pretty shoddy booking. Senshi is just not a babyface character he is a heel or tweener, and tonight they finally played up to that and added a bit of uncertainty about their upcoming match at Lockdown. At first having Backlund as the special referee stacked the odds against Austin Starr, but now it could go either way. And with the caliber of matches these guys have been putting on lately it is that little booking strategy to have Senshi be that tweener character and no clear cut advantage to having Backlund ref that put this feud over the top.
puRgatory:
The Ultimate Xcape: This might be the best match on the card, but it's purgatory right now because here are the Vegas lines (and I wasn't surprised either):
Chris Sabin (Talented, but heatless, Champ): 1-1
Jay Lethal (Talented Comedy Act): 3-1
Sonjay Dutt (Talented Comedy Act Croney): 10-1
Shark Boy (Talented Underwater Sea Creature): 15-1
Alex Shelley (Talented, Talented, Talented...): 1,000,000,000-1
The wRong:
Jim Cornette's Town Hall Meeting: Again this month we get the horrible tell everyone what they are going to be doing at the pay-per-view IN JUST 10 DAYS all at once segment. Just stupid. I know they only get an hour a week, but is it really hard to space out the booking of feuds throughout the course of FIVE WEEKS. We all know why Harris and Storm are fighting book the match and give us a video review to set it up. Wow what would that take about 4 minutes of airtime? Same with Jackie/Gail and Roode/Petey. In fact it's matches like Roode/Petey that could just be added to the card without there even being any build on TV at all. We know that Petey is Eric's friend so he is going to come to his aid at the pay-per-view. Did we need an entire segment to end the show to point this out and even then there wasn't any build to it anyways. He just kinda said it.
The Ridiculous:
8-Mile Street Fight/Booking of Lethal Lockdown: It was looking to be a very good-ish brawl, but then commercials hacked it to death and dumb booking kicked in. Tomko should have went over strong here to set up the pay-per-view. Instead you have Abyss coming out and looking like a useless tool and Rhino (the afterthought of Team Angle) beating two of the top members of Team Cage. They then redeem themselves by having Team Cage destroy in a 5-on-3 beatdown and put them over strong. However they leap from puRgatory right into Ridiculous in the next segment. There we have dissention amongst the members of Team Cage and the focus of the ENTIRE team is not on destroying their bitter rivals (as it should be) but on supposed title shots that Christian has promised to grant each member. Whatever happened to the days of the cunning and clever heels? It seems TNA only knows how to book their heels as dumb and cowardly, and then expect us as fans to buy them winning the Lethal Lockdown match. If this match was just booked on hatred and long-withstanding feuds alone it would be a MOTYC. However, now I am not even excited about this match and that's not to say it won't be a good match. It's just the logic that is surrounding the feud is such that the whole time the match is happening the fans would wonder why any member of Team Cage would be fighting with him instead of just worrying about their own W's and L's to set up a title match with him in the future anyways. And to make things worse TNA knows that the booking of this match has been so horrible that they had to have tonight's show and the "member who scores the fall receives the title shot next month" to try to book themselves out of it. However in doing that they just booked another logic gap. That being, "What if Christian Cage scores the fall?" Do we just not have a title match next month? Also, why is Sting in this match? He should have been putting on a good match with the Fallen Angel this month or at least planting the seeds for that feud. Instead, he's so tore up about the Abyss situation that he can't even look his kids in the eye. But then joins Team Angle to, oh, guess what FIGHT ABYSS AGAIN! What the Fuck! Not to mention the rumors of a returning Jeff Jarrett being the fifth member of Team Angle and the inevitability that he will book himself into the winning fall and thus a heatless horrible WWE Opening Match of RAW '98 Main Event next month.
Wildcat/Cowboy: BLINDFOLD MATCH?!: OK, we've got a good feud with a slow build that probably has at least *** resulting in the blowup. How can we fuck this one up? I know let's book them in a match that has yet in the history of wrestling to result in making it out of negative *'s. That's all I've got to say about this.
