The Ominous Thoughts News Report 4.22.07
Posted by Ryan Byers on 04.22.2007
Stu's vacation, Vol. 2.
Welcome, folks, to the Ominous Thoughts News Report. Stuart Carapola, your regular author, was injured in a brutal tuna fishing accident that will have him on the sidelines for a little bit. Until he gets those scales out of his eye, I'll be taking care of things here. So everybody just sit back, keep your feet up, grab a Clamato, and enjoy the news.
NEWS FROM VINCE'S CIRCUS
Randy Gets Randy
Dave Meltzer, the king of breaking wrestling news, has reported that Randy Orton has been sent home from WWE's current European tour, most likely due to his taking the blame for some damage that was done to a German hotel room. Given that the company is taping Monday Night Raw in the United Kingdom this week, chances are good that we won't be seeing Orton on that program, leaving Edge to carry the heel half of the build to the Backlash main event. (Insert your own joke about Edge having to carry the heel half of the Backlash build even if Orton was there.) WWE has kayfabed Orton's departure by announcing at house shows that he has been sidelined by a stomach virus.
This adds another chapter to the long history of crazy things happening to the WWE roster when they go to Europe. The most notable example was 2002's "Plane Ride from Hell," which lead to Curt Hennig and Scott Hall being released from the company as well as more alleged bad behavior on the part of Dustin Runnels, Brock Lesnar, Sean Waltman, and Ric Flair. This was followed up in 2005 by Eugene passing out in a hotel lobby and being sent home in a manner similar to Orton.
A Flair for the Courtroom
Not long after stories of his bitter divorce from long-time wife Beth and several problems with the IRS got leaked out to the internet, "Nature Boy" Ric Flair is having some more legal issues, though this time he's on the offensive instead of the defensive. It was revealed to fans in Flair's 2004 autobiography that he has substantial amounts of money invested in real estate, and now The Charlotte Business Journal is reporting that those investments have created a few problems for the Nature Boy. Naitch is alleging that some of the individuals that he used to work with on the real estate market conned him out of roughly $500,000 during the course of one investment. What has not been made clear is how far along the suit is or when, if at all, Flair will be required to participate personally and whether such participation would affect his dates with WWE.
From the Desk of the Assassin . . .
Of course, the big WWE news of the week was the company ending its relationship with developmental territory Deep South Wrestling. Marsico already covered this story on Friday with Meehan following up on Saturday. As a result, I'm not going to beat a dead horse and report on a story that everybody already knows. However, I think that it is worth noting that the man in charge of DSW, Jody Hamilton, recently released a statement through what remains of the company's website. Hamilton, a legendary wrestler in his own right and father of WWE official Nick Patrick, had this to say:
I want to thank all the fans we have at DSW for being the greatest and most loyal fans anyone could ever ask for. Since WWE has shut DSW down I have experienced some of the most emotional situations that I have ever been involved in, from emotional farwell's with some of the DSW talent, to answering emotional questions from fans that were deeply hurt by this. I have no answers for the fans, for the talent involved I can say from the bottom of my heart that I love you very much. After being on an emotional rollercoaster for most of the day and desperately trying to keep it all together it was my 7 yr old grandson that caused me to loose it, (big time) Christian, overheard my daughter telling his sister that WWE had let me go and I wouldn't be working at the DSW arena anymore, he then told his mother he wanted to get some money from his bank and open a lemonade stand, sell a lot of lemonade and give the money to Pop since he doesn't have a job, such a sweet, loving, and considerate child. (this is a true story). Thank you for caring Christian, but Pop will be OK even without a job. It's really heart-warming to me that so many people have responded to me being let go. Once again I want to thank the DSW talent, the DSW fans and most of all my family for all of your support. This will never put or keep me down, I will be back.
Joseph Hamilton
TNA (TOTAL NEWS-Y AWESOMENESS)
Double J's D-i-l-e-double m-a
TNA fans are well aware that Jeff Jarrett has returned to the company and is, to the surprise of many, a babyface. Though TNA has alluded to the fact that his recent absence was caused by a "family illness," they have not mentioned the exact nature of the situation. Bryan Alvarez has been reporting for months that the family member in question is Jarrett's wife, who has been battling cancer and taken a turn for the worse over the last several months. This was the reason for Jarett's hiatus from the company. Recent comments from Alvarez would lead one to believe that, even though Jeff has returned, his wife has not been improving. In fact, the minute that Jarrett was done with his segments on this past Tuesday's TNA Impact tapings, Jarrett was immediately headed back to his home in Tennesee to spend more time with his bride.
I have never personally been in the sort of position that Jarrett has, and I can only imagine how difficult it must be to deal with. We as humans all have different ways of responding to difficult situations such as this one, so I'm not going to be critical of Jarrett for returning to the company as some people have been. Ultimately, only he and his wife know what is best for the two of them. However, I hope that Jarrett was in no way motivated to return to the ring for the benefit of wrestling fans. Though it may not seem like it at times, fans who are aware of situations like this are capable of understanding, and I'm sure that the vast majority of us would be accepting of a vacation of any length given the circumstances.
Jeff Walks the Line
Speaking of Jarrett, he is featured on the poster for TNA's upcoming Slammiversary pay per view, which will be broadcast from the company's old stomping grounds of Tennessee. What does the poster in question look like? I'm glad you asked:
For those of you who don't get the reference, it's a not so subtle allusion to one of the posters for the Johnny Cash biopic Walk the Line:
I'm not going to chastise the company for ripping off the original poster, because, let's face it, wrestling has often been at its best when its blatantly stealing things from other forms of media. Who can forget the awesome ECW December to Dismember poster that was a blatant knock off of the promotional material for the Christmas-themed slasher pic Silent Night, Deadly Night?
Abyss to Pull Vanishing Act
In more news from Meltzer, the brutal beatdown of Abyss from this past week's episode of Impact is going to be unlike many modern day injury angles. How? IT'S ACTUALLY GOING TO BE SOLD. Yes, that's right. Abyss is going to missing the next several weeks of TV and, as things stand now, he will not be wrestling on the next pay per view. Meltz also mentioned that he will most likely be returning as part of a storyline that sees him pick off the members of Christian's team one by one.
This is exactly the angle that I wished would happen in this past Thursday's Impact Cracter, so I'm happy. Granted, there are plenty of ways that TNA could manage to screw this up between now and the ultimate payoff, but the basic framework sounds like a very simple, effective pro wrestling storyline. Let's just keep our fingers crossed that a.) it is executed well and b.) the matches against Tomko and Steiner are either kept short or filled with gimmicks, because otherwise they'll suck royally.
Digitized Fireballs to TNA?
411's own Puerto Rican sensation Armando Rodriguez has reported that reigning Wrestling Society X Champion Ricky Banderas could be on his way to TNA. Banderas, who got his start in Puerto Rico and was then programmed as a top heel in the short-lived WSX project, has been biding his time and taking Mexican bookings while he waits for his contract with MTV to expire. According to Mando, the deal is up on May 1, leaving Ricky free to jump to TNA, reportedly to become a member of LAX.
Watching Banderas in Total Nonstop Action would be rather interesting. Though his reputation prior to the WSX gig was that he was quite the horrid worker, 411's own Complete Player Ryan Mancuso has assured me that he's improved a good deal in Mexico and may actually be watchable now. Personally, I'd said several months ago that if anybody got snapped up by WWE after WSX's demise, it would be Banderas. Though he may not be the best wrestler on the planet, he certainly has the body that company normally looks for, and there are constantly rumors that they want to create more Latino superstars. However, TNA is perhaps a better fit for Banderas if his goal is to be treated as a big star right out of the gate. In that company, he doesn't have to worry about spending several months in a developmental territory, and TNA booking committee member Ducth Mantell is a former Puerto Rican mainstay who has shown a good deal of loyalty to others who have come from that area (namely the departed Apollo and the aforementioned Abyss).
Yet More New Talent
Doug and Danny Basham in TNA? The story has bounced around the internet for the last couple of months, but now it appears to be more of a reality than ever. According to Bryan Alvarez, the no-compete clause in the mens' contracts will be expiring within the week. The plan is for them to come in as the final of Chirsty Hemme's mystery teams and to then feud with the New Age Outlaws. Both men appeared on a TNA house show this weekend in Louisville, Kentucky, which was in large part promoted and booked by Jim Cornette. Cornette has ties with the Bashams dating back to Ohio Valley Wrestling, so their role was no surprise. Doug and Danny (using his old "Damaja" name) were defeated by Rhino in a two-on-one street fight.
From what I've read, a lot of fans have been negative towards the idea of the Bashams coming in to TNA. Though I'm generally of the mind that the company should not be bringing in any new talent until they get more TV time, I have no problem with the Bashams themselves. WWE fans generally tend to consider them generic and unexciting, but the fact of the matter is that reputation was earned in large part because WWE booked them to be as generic as possible. If you look back to their OVW work, Doug is an AWESOME wrestler, and Damaja, while not quite as good in the ring, can cut a pretty good promo. Unless TNA decides to saddle them with their old WWE gimmick, this should be the perfect opportunity for the two men to shine and prove that they're more than just Velocity main eventers.
INDY-SENT HEADLINES
ROH, ROH, ROH Your Arc, All the Way to NOAH
July will be a huge month for Ring of Honor, as they are set to conduct their first "tour" of Japan. With ROH previously having made two successful trips to the United Kingdom, a journey across the Pacific will further solidify them as being something more than just another US independent. However, they're not going to be taking on this task alone. ROH has been working closely with Japanese promotion Pro Wrestling NOAH to make sure that the shows are a success, and five names from the NOAH roster will be appearing on the tour. They are:
- Takeshi Morishima – This name was no surprise, as Morishima is the reigning Ring of Honor World Heavyweight Champion. Morishima has done plenty to bring that belt up to true "World Title" status, having defended it in both the United States and on one of NOAH's biggest shows. Having already crushed topped contenders in the form of Homicide, BJ Whitmer, KENTA, and Nigel McGuinness, one has to wonder who remains to face Mori in his home country and whether that individual will be successful.
- KENTA – Another familiar face to Ring of Honor fans, KENTA went on a major tear in the company during 2006, defeating an impressive array of wrestlers before ultimately falling to Bryan Danielson in an epic ROH Title match in September. By the time the tour rolls around, he will have been absent from ROH rings for eight solid months, meaning that the promotion's fans should be chomping at the bit to see him again. KENTA always seemingly brings his a-game to ROH, and this tour should be no exception.
- Naomichi Marufuji – Marufuji, formerly KENTA's tag team partner in one of the greatest duos in wrestling history, has also put in some time with ROH, though not quite as much as his former teammate. The highlight of Marufuji's career had to be a surprising reign with the GHC Heavyweight Championship, NOAH's top honor. More surprising still was that his first defense of that belt took place on American soil on an ROH show, as he downed Englishman Nigel McGuinness to retain. A brief reunion with KENTA doesn't seem out of the question during the ROH tour, or Marufuji could wind up facing some brand new singles opponents.
- Go Shiozaki – Go made a pair of appearances in ROH during their August 2006 tour of the United Kingdom, beating BJ Whitmer but dropping a tag match to the British tandem of Doug Williams and Jody Fleisch. At age 25, Shiozaki is an up and coming heavyweight for NOAH, and this should be an interesting opportunity for him to pick up some experience against American talent.
- Ricky Marvin – Of the five men announced for the tour, Marvin is the only one who has not previously appeared in Ring of Honor. Marvin, a Mexican native, is considered by many to be one of the best high flyers on the planet and has been touring with NOAH regularly for the past four years. Though ROH has done a lot of work with Japanese talent, this is one of the few times that they will be bringing in a gentlemen with a legitimate lucha libre background, so it should be interesting to see how Marvin's south of the border style mixes with the rest of the ROH roster.
Million Yen Dream
Speaking of Pro Wrestling NOAH, one of the "gaijin" (foreigners) on their April tour has been none other than Ted DiBiase, Jr., one of the sons of the legendary Million Dollar Man. Ted Jr. and his brother Mike have both been training with Harley Race and competing in his Missouri-based World League Wrestling. Both brothers were scheduled to head over to NOAH this month, but an injury prevented Mike from doing so. Ted, however, made the trip and has gained a great deal of experience, competing on virtually every show and going up against some great opponents like Marufuji, Akira Taue, and Mistuhara Misawa. DiBiase even received a lengthy singles match against KENTA on one show. However, this week was probably the highlight of the youngster's tour thusfar, as he got his first pinfall victory in Japan. Last Sunday, April 15, DiBiase used a move known as the "Dream Crusher" to pin NOAH young lion Tsutomu Hirayanagi during a tag team match also featuring Daniel Cross and Makoto Hashi.
Best of luck to DiBiase as he wraps up his dates with the company.
Baron It All
There have been movies about pro wrestling. There have been TV shows about pro wrestling. There have even been songs about pro wrestling. (Seriously. Go check out "The Ballad of Mick Foley" by the Bump 'n Uglies.) However, grappling has been seriously under-represented in the world of theater. One man is looking to change that. Former AWA mainstay Baron Von Raschke is currently starring in a play about his life and times, which is running in Minneapolis and will be until May 20. For more details on the show, check out a recent Onion AV Club interview with the Baron and playwright Cory McLeod. This makes me wish that I could be in Minnesota at some point in the next month. Oh well, can't win 'em all.
Life AfterGLOW
Baron isn't the only former pro wrestler who has an interesting side project these days. Remember Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling, the TV show that blended women's rasslin' and Hee-Haw with hilariously bad results? Sure you do. One of its former stars, known then as Tiffany Mellon (very subtle there, McLane), now has her own reality television show. The lady in question is currently calling herself Sandra Scott (aka Sandra Schwab, aka Tiffany Million), and she is staring Wife, Mom, Bounty Hunter, which airs on the obscure cable channel WE: Women's Entertainment. The concept is exactly what it sounds like. Scott is a mother to a teenage girl and also a badass who takes down wanted criminals. Hopefully she manages to do this in a way that doesn't get her extradited to Mexico.
Wife, Mom, Bounty Hunter debuted on WE this past Friday and should continue to air at 9 PM central on that day.
Japanese Balloon
One of the biggest cult acts on the independent wrestling circuit over the course of the past year has been the American Balloon, a young man who has a great deal of athletic ability despite his portly physique and, um, ample bosom. Balloon, who uses his large breasts to his advantage on a regular basis, has received quality training under Ultimo Dragon and at New Japan USA's Inoki Dojo. As a result of all that experience, he began touring with Japanese indy DDT (Dynamic Dream Team) a few months back, which in turn lead to his highest-profile appearance in the US indies as part of a DDT team in CHIKARA's "King of Trios" tournament this February. However, we're not going to be seeing a lot more of Balloon here in the states. The big guy recently announced that he will be moving to Japan PERMANENTLY and continuing his work with the DDT promotion. America's loss is Japan's gain. Godspeed, Balloon, godspeed.
IMMA PLUG YOU, SUCKA
Well, that wraps up our wrestling news for the day. Before we head out, let's take a look at a few links of interest:
- For those unaware, my regular gig on this site involves reviewing TNA Impact. Usually it's a painful, painful job, but things have been looking up for the past couple of weeks. Check out the most recent installment here.
- Want more news on that ROH Japanese tour that I was talking about earlier? Ari is sure to have it in his Column of Honor, alongside everything else that you need to know about Gabe Sapolsky's little playground.
- Speaking of ROH (yes, again), they're trying to bankrupt me. The company is currently having a great sale on their website, during which all orders are 30% off with no minimum purchase required. This is a great opportunity to pick up any item in their catalog that you've had your eye on.
- And do you know what you can buy as a part of that ROH 30% off sale? DVDs from my current favorite promotion, SHIMMER: Women Athletes. Seven volumes are currently available, and all of them that I have seen are worth owning. Plus, if you want to see SHIMMER live, head over to their website, where you can purchase tickets for their huge title tournament taking place in June. Plus they've got a follow-up show in Florida in July, and more information on that will be forthcoming.
- You know what else is cool about SHIMMER? It, along with Pro Wrestling Guerilla, is the subject of this week's 411 Buy or Sell. Bayani Domingo and myself spent well over six pages debating topics related to PWG and SHIMMER, and a good time was had by all.
- I mentioned earlier that I'm filling in for Stuart Carapola, and so is Michael Bauer. While I'm doing it here, he's doing it in Friendly Competition.
- If you like gritty, hard hitting wrestling, check out my friends at Gung Ho Wrestling. Their third and biggest show yet was this past Friday, and they've got some huge plans for the summer featuring a BARBED WIRE CAGE~! You can also pick up DVDs of their first two events and keep an eye out for the third, which features a show stealing match between Kevin Steen and Gran Akuma that was suggested by yours truly.
- I don't know why I plug Csonka when everybody reads him anyway.
- To wrap things up, check out my MySpace blog, which features all sorts of rasslin' related content that you won't find on 411. I updated it yesterday with a review of a new internet TV project put out by the Insane Clown Posse. Yeah, I don't know why I watched it either.
That does it for the "Ominous Thoughts." Hopefully Stu is healed up and ready to go next week!
