The Fink’s Payload 04.23.07: New Gimmick Matches
Posted by Sforcina-Marsico on 04.23.2007
You’ve had a couple of weeks to think about this. Marsico’s had a couple of weeks to power up his snarkiness. I’ve had a couple of weeks to…work and drink Coke Zero. Darn.
Matt: Hiya, and welcome to the Payload, I am Matt Sforcina, and it's my birthday today (i.e. the 23rd when you read this, not the 22nd when I'm writing it). So happy birthday to me and to all those fellow April 23rders, especially John Cena (for the simple fact that the "Birthday Parties" angle I have in mind should I get to WWE is a cracker, at least in my mind.
Nick: I'm tired. Let's get this over with.
Matt: And so, onto the many, many ideas we had for new Gimmick Matches.
BUT WAIT!
First off, a very, very late Backlash idea from John Hucks.
I believe what would be best for Backlash is if Edge put out a bounty on the head of Jeff Hardy for what he did to him at Wrestlemania. Maybe have Melina suggest this to him for when he wins the title, he'll give a shot to the person who takes out Jeff Hardy. Melina goes on a search to find the best tag team to take a shot at The Hardys. Whether that be a brand new tag team or finding the missing M for MNM, it could be an angle that they could draw out. Ideally, I guess it would be best if they just went ahead and didn't go for the whole M in the MNM but I guess the person should be Kenny Dykstra. Maybe then have it spawn into a Kenny Dysktra/Mickie James vs. Melina/Nitro feud and the blow off at Summer Slam with Nitro/Kenny in a ladder match, if they can put the IC belt on either one of them by SS.
Matt: This idea is so far out of date and stuff I'll just leave it be.
Nick: Wait... Edge wants somebody to beat up Jeff Hardy. So who does it? You didn't, ya know, finish that thought.
Matt: So, onto the gimmicks! First up, Dan From Brooklyn and his tried and tested idea.
This is a match I have fantasized about for awhile and have even wrestled in an underground backyard fed I was in. This is a total feud ender. Two guys who have spent months feuding in several different types of matches with no clear better between the two. It also requires time, like an Iron man match so it would need to be for a major world title and be built around (as with the Elimination Chamber at December to Remember). The match is the "Best Of 7: Pick Your Poison Match".
Let's use Cena and HBK since they are feuding over the WWE Title and can definitely keep the intrigue for a long time. Cena wins at Mania, and then after Edge and Orton get involved and get title shots with HBK at Backlash, Michaels and Cena are still at it at Vengeance in June. The rules of the match are as follows. The match works as a best 2/3 falls/3 stages of hell match would with the first fall being a straight up wrestling match with pinfalls, submissions, DQs, and COTRs. The winner would then pick the stipulation of the next fall, and so on until one man wins 4/7 falls. It could be built up as the World Series of wrestling matches.
With Cena and Michaels I would work it as follows:
1st Fall- HBK with a rollup counter to the FU 1-0 (chooses No DQ match)
2nd Fall- Cena with FU onto 2 chairs 1-1 (chooses Submission match)
3rd Fall- Cena with STFU after chair shot to knee 1-2 (chooses table match)
4th Fall- HBK with Flying Elbow through announce table 2-2 (chooses First Blood)
5th Fall- Cena with shot with monitor 2-3 (chooses falls count anywhere)
6th Fall- HBK with Sweet Chin Music off the ramp 3-3 (chooses Cage). They put the cage up while Cena and HBK are out by the ramp
7th Fall- HBK with Sweet Chin Music to win the WWE Championship 4-3
The total match time doesn't have to be 1 hour as falls like Table and First Blood can be quicker than others. There are dozens of possible gimmicks and stipulations to use. I know the match is clichéd and overdone but it only to be used in rare heated feuds that need definitive ends.
Matt: That's remarkably complicated and yet not so. Not sure how well it would go in RL, trying for an Iron Man type length with that many weapons et al. On the flip side, you make it shorter, it kills off the gimmicks a tad (especially any based on submission or I quit or some such). Still, not a bad idea.
Nick: I don't like it. It's not complicated (much like the TNA matches that everybody says are complicated – THEY AREN'T, RETARDS), but like the TNA matches, it's muddled and unnecessary.
Matt: Angelo Velotta has some words for Nick. And an idea.
I would first and foremost like to take up how I was thrown in the mix of being obsessed with concept matches. This is actually extremely false, I am a very old school wrestling fan, but have lately been rattled with its overall product. Between TNA's months-long frustrations and WWE's inconsistent booking I have been thrown over the proverbial edge as a fan of wrestling.
However, a new concept match you want, a new concept match you get. It isn't necessarily new, more so a spin on an already existing match. The stage is set after The World's Greatest Tag Team has switched to Smackdown. One week on Smackdown we see Brain Kendrick vs. Shelton Benjamin, with Benjamin picking up the win. The following week we see Paul London vs. Charlie Haas, with London coming out on top. The week following, we see a tag team match between the two teams, with the champions prevailing. The next week WGTT explains they will bring it to the champs under the pressure and in the moment of a title match. London and Kendrick agree that at The Great American Bash they'll put the titles on the line, however, we'll see if WGTT will "bring it", as this will be the ultimate test of endurance and inner strength, a tag team iron man match. The match turns out to be a pure clinic, with London scoring a pinfall over Haas after a shooting star press, and Benjamin scoring a pinfall after hitting a top rope belly to belly on Kendrick. With the scored tied at 1, London hits the dropsault on Benjamin, however Benjamin catches London in a small package for the win!
Matt: See, now this I like. Even if it's useless now that they had to take the belts off Kendrick and London because their valet got injured.
Now that's a concept that paints a really sad image of the industry.
Nick: I don't even remember what you wrote about last time, but I assume it was something that lead to a gimmick match that was completely unnecessary. This idea, however, I like. I have a feeling that nobody's going to top it, either.
Matt: Madmex brings the ‘funny'.
IWC Writer on a Pole Match! First person to remove the IWC writer from the pole and deliver 4 consecutive finishers, one in each corner of the ring, wins. It should be done at Cyber Sunday, so that we the internet readers can nominate and vote for the Most Infamous IWC writer that we want. I vote Nick Marisco.
Matt: Ha. Ha. Ha.
Nick: You're not allowed to hate me if you can't spell my name correctly.
Matt: Madmex also tries the serious.
24/7. They don't necessarily need to reinstate the hardcore belt for this one either…. The new (tweener) GM for Raw JBL has been having problems with a freshly turned heel and new IC Champion Carlito for being too cocky and spitting apple in his face. Carlito already expressed his intention for not defending the belt because he has beat everyone and there is no one in his league. So they show Carlito watching 24, during the broadcast of Raw, which leads to JBL calling him to the ring. JBL informs Carlito that starting now until the end of the broadcast of ECW on Sci-Fi, "24" hours from now his IC title is on the line and open to any and all challengers. To not fuck with the brand split, whoever has the title at the end of ECW moves to Raw, and Carlito takes his place, if from another brand. JBL then assigns Carlito a ref for the next 24 hours as well as a film crew, has the bell rung, and laughs as the locker room empties of mid carders gunning for Carlito. From there it's a free for all, just like the good old days of the 24/7 rule on the hardcore belt, and before you can say it disrespects the lineage of the belt; a rule can be that the title officially changes hands to the owner at the end of the match on ECW. So it kind of becomes like reverse hot potato. They can play the footage of Carlito being attacked and laying out opponents through out the show and on ECW in 24 style w/a clock and everything. That would be so cool to have ECW open with a clock, and then voice over guy says the following happened from 2230 to 2245, and show Carlito being attacked checking in to his hotel. It's just for one day, not a permanent thing, that would be ridiculous. Kind of like a IWC writer on a pole match!
Matt: Outside the 24 rip off (which they would do but I don't like)… I actually like this idea. Freaky. Bonus points for JBL assigning a ref and camera crew.
Nick: Not bad. It's something different, at least, and not overly goofy.
Matt: Greg Waite goes for the scatter gun approach.
For WWE:
1) Chair match: (You can only use chairs in this match, no other weapons allowed)
2) The Gold Challenge match: (8 wrestlers must be qualified to enter a Gold steel cage match and 6 men must be pinned (no submissions) where the first 2 men left standing fights the WWE or World champion that same night in a Triple Threat match)
3) First blood tag team elimination match: (This would be only used if 2 tag teams had enough of each other and they wanted it to end thus this match would be sanctioned. If 1 tag team member is busted open, then he is eliminated from the match setting up 2 on 1)
For TNA:
1) Grounded only match: (For the X-division roster. No member of the roster can use any high-flying maneuvers)
2) Demolition Derby match: (For the tag team titles, 4 tag teams have qualified using hardcore rules. But in the Demolition Derby match itself, the 4 tag teams must have one arm locked together by handcuffs and therefore working more as a tag team than trying to one-up each other. Like VKM, BG James is always show-boating around while Kip James is the tough one)
3) 14 man street fight (Hand-picked 14 men from the entire roster and is in the TNA heavyweight division. The first guy to get pinned is the first guy to get the title shot at the TNA Heavyweight champion. The second guy to get pinned gets the next title shot 2 weeks after that match. And so on.)
Matt: WWE- 1, Been done (albeit Chair vs. Kendo stick). 2, eh. 3, I like. TNA- 1, Not a good idea (remember a sorta similar Kidman/Malenko when they removed the ropes?), 2, dangerous since people bumping would take the other guy down, too unsafe. 3, TNA has enough problems with #1 contenders now.
Nick: WWE ones are fine. TNA ones are bad because they're matches that hamper the ability for guys to have the best match possible.
Matt: Next up, Mohammad Uddin rejects our plans for the Original/New Breed feud, and instead of using Wargames, comes up with a new idea.
Ok so I was thinking some sort of team vs. team match up most likely best fit for ECW with their Originals vs. New Breed feud. My idea was a 4 on 4 elimination style match with elements of a Survivor Series/Wargames/Hell in a Cell match. There would be a cell with no doors for escape and the inside would be split into 4 equal sections with a member of each team in each section. And then there would basically be 4 different extreme rules matches with the loser of each match forced to hang from the top of the cell (preventing possible interference) and the winner gets to enter one of the other 3 sections to help their partner. Eliminations are only through pinfall or submission and just for the hell of it let's say that there can only be one man remaining so if need be, eventually teammates would have to turn against each other. Why would they do that? Because the sole survivor gets a shot at the ECW title as well as CM Punk on their team. So the match should take place ASAP so that all the rumored releases from the originals don't occur before it does. But the best place for it to happen is at One Night Stand which isn't for another 2 months. Anyway let's assume it's at ONS and the orderings are as follows: Matt Striker vs. Sabu, Cor Von vs. Dreamer, Thorne vs. RVD and Burke vs. Sandman. That way the first winner would be Cor Von who makes Dreamer easy pickings and goes into RVD's section while Sabu defeats Striker shortly after to save RVD from a 2 on 1 beatdown while Burke vs. Sandman is still going on. Then RVD picks up the win over Thorn with the Frog Splash but Sabu gets eliminated by Cor Von. Burke defeats Sandman with an Elijah Express thru a table and is about to help Cor Von against RVD but he doesn't go in right away, instead he watches. And after a hard fought battle, Cor Von is able to dodge a Van Daminator and hit the POUNCE......PERIOD for what he assumes is the win- BUT almost immediately Burke rolls him up for the actual win and the shot at he ECW championship as well as CM Punk. Punk makes his way out congratulates him and says that went he beats Lashley for the title, he wants the first shot which Burke gladly offers him. Punk- "Good, oh and Elijah watch your back." which Burke just shrugs off only to turn around to receive a POUNCE. Punk then gives Cor Von (who was never able to be hung from the top of the cell due to being the last one eliminated) and Anaconda Vice to show his "loyalty" to the leader of the New Breed. Cor Von however is kicked off (announced later on ECW on Sci-Fi) and thus he acts as an ally to the Originals (since he isn't an Original himself) in their continued warfare against the New Breed (in which Punk isn't completely loyal with). And this way he and lets say Bobby Lashley could replace whichever 2 originals are gonna be released.
Matt: I hate to say this, but…Huh?
Nick: Here's an idea. Instead of booking a match, just give us the rules of a match. How am I supposed to understand what the fuck is going on when you just book a match while loosely explaining why things are going on?
Matt: Hazmatt gets in for using a cheap plug.
I've actually always planned to use this gimmick where I to ever book anything, but honestly, that's not going to happen, so I might as well share with the Payloaders, right here, on 411Mania! *thumbs up*
Sometimes a simple Triple Threat match may not be enough to settle things; therefore, we introduce the "hot potato" of wrestling, the Circle of Fire match.
Edge, Michaels and Cena face each other, but prior to that are arranged in an order unknown even to them. The rules are as such: One man will be "it" for three minutes. During those three minutes, only pinfalls or submissions on that person will be counted. Once those three minutes are up, the next person in the secret order is announced as "it". Three minutes later the last person is declared "it". After those three minutes, the order is repeated until a pinfall or submission is made, or the audiences collective noggins a'splode.
Yeah, you think it's confusing now? Use it to settle the tag team titles.
Still better than the stuff Russo comes up with.
Matt: Well, it's not Russo that's mainly booking TNA right now, apparently. That said, that's an interesting idea, although the execution is a little open to failure.
Nick: Not bad, but better suited to a small indy promotion than WWE.
Matt: And now, we go all Egyptian. Take it away, Chase Traitan.
My Match? The Pyramid. It consists of elements taken from Elevation X, a standard Ladder Match, the Elimination Chamber and King of the Mountain match.
The ring will be surrounded by a giant pyramid comprised of scaffolding and steel. The four corners of the pyramid will be ladders of sorts leading to the top of the pyramid, where a platform awaits them. Hanging above the platform are the World Tag Team Championships, and the WWE Tag Team Championships. The object of the match is essentially to reach the top of the pyramid and retrieve the championships. However, a few obstacles and one contractual restriction stand in the way. On the outside of the ring, on the inside of any of the four scaffoldings are cages. Whenever one member of a team is pinned or submits during the match, the OTHER member of that team must enter one of the four cages and be locked inside until their partner can get to the cage and unlock it for his partner. This adds an essence of struggle, since the fresher man must enter the cage and leave the worn man in the match. The pyramid itself could be used for other matches, but I have specifically designed it as a ten-man-tag match. Another strong point is that no matter what, only four teams can be halved during the match. So while four men representing four different teams can be without their partners, one team will always be complete. This gives the team that is 'dominating' the match the advantage. So alongside the pyramid itself are cages, we'll dub those "Holding Cells", and another interesting feature: chains are a common sight in this structure. Lines of chains run from the roof of the arena to the edges of the scaffold (to lift and descend the structure, of course) and can aid in leading wrestlers to the top. The chains start at the very bottom on either side of the scaffoldings and ascend up, each pair five feet apart until the reach the top. The edges extend twenty five feet inward to the top of the structure which rises 20 feet above the ring. Chains also extend from about three quarters of the way up on each scaffold, across to the next scaffold, all the way around. That's pretty much the concept. By the way, if you hadn't guessed, this match is tornado style.
Earlier I mentioned a contractual restriction. In this particular match (for the WWE and World Tag Team Titles), the rules of the match state that any one team can only obtain ONE set of titles. This means that once a team wins their titles, they are free to do whatever they chose in the match, be it fight off teams they don't want winning the belts, or just get down and leave.
This match, while highly unlikely, could really draw in some fans.
Matt: Well, apart from the way too much work to build it, it certainly sounds…confusing. But creative. And thank Teller you swerved us and didn't go the unification route.
Nick: I take it nobody is actually thinking in reality, right? As long as the ideas given out in this column are not meant to be serious ideas for matches that could seriously happen, then whatever.
Matt: Phillip Martin debuts with a quick idea.
Gimmick match that's never been done on television, eh? Edge and HBK get a feud going about number one contenderships or hair or whatever. They go one for one at a pair of PPVs and decide they want a proper decider. Dibiase's former bodyguard Virgil happens to be wandering around backstage and suggests that in his experience boxing always shows who the better man is. And thus the match is set, 6 8 minute rounds of Wrestling, 3 pins or submissions = victory
In case of a draw you've got 6 judges scoring the match (3 heel + 3 face). Points scored for Aggression, Technique and Style. With 2 legendary judges chosen for each (Sid & Foley for aggression, Malenko and Steamboat for technique, Flair & Savage for Style would be my picks but I'm sure everybody would have their own favourite for this). The result can go a few ways without really damaging the loser. For example: An outright winner thanks to the 3 strikes stipulation whereby the judges had given the loser the points edge or there's a controversial points victory and one of the legends turns.
Probably should have put more thought into this but what can ye do?
Matt: Why the totally random Virgil reference? I mean, Marc Mero or Bart Gunn would make more sense…
Nick: Leave those rules to real sports. Plus, 6 rounds, 8 minutes apiece? That's pretty shitty. That's a 48 minute match split up at odd 8 minute intervals. It's just odd overall.
Matt: Jasper Gerretsen has a quick idea about a match based on speed.
Cage Sprint: This is a match idea that could be used when there are multiple wrestlers or teams with a legitimate claim to the #1 contender position. Preferably at least four, but the more the better. The idea is to have the champion(s) start out in the ring, inside the classic steel cage. The rest of the wrestlers start at the entrance ramp and try to fight their way into the cage by climbing over the top - the door will be locked for the first portion. The first guy/team inside has a regular cage match for the title, the rest goes back to the locker room empty handed.
Matt: Yeah, since that worked so well for TNA and that Fight For Your Right thing…Oh wait, it didn't.
Nick: Keep bringing the silly, people!
Matt: Next up, Joe Hoferer decides to discriminate based on experience.
Veterans Road: This would be like a King of the Ring type tournament, except that this would also be for either a vacant WWE or World Heavy Weight Championship. The qualification for the tournament is that the wrestlers must have been around prior to 1998 (call it the Ten Year Rule) to be considered a "veteran". (At least for the gimmick) Guys on the current roster that fit the requirement would be The Undertaker, Triple H, Ric Flair, Shawn Michaels, Chris Benoit, William Regal, Dave Taylor, Finlay, Kane, Booker T, Rey Mysterio, Chavo Guerrero, Viscera, and Mark Henry. ECW guys that would also qualify would be RVD, Sabu, Sandman, Balls Mahoney, Tommy Dreamer, Hardcore Holly, and even Steven Richards and Little Guido. I added all of these guys because like every pro wrestling tournament, you need guys that can either serve as the jobber or make an upset win. 22 wrestlers are listed above, 9 of which are former WWE or WHC champions. The tournament could include that these former champions would gain an automatic bye and the other 14 would have qualifying matches to fill out the remaining 7 spots to make it a 16 man tournament.
As far as booking a story line for this I would use the "I lost my smile" type of title drop for John Cena. Have him go through a tough time or something comes up storyline wise where he would need to leave for a significant amount of time (4-5 months) and have (insert FACE authority figure) declare that the WWE championship will be determined in a tournament that shows respect to those who have paid their dues in this business (i.e. the Ten Year Rule). The remaining guys that go into this tournament would be the hard part, as to who to include and who to not. I would go with Mark Henry, Sabu, Finlay, Chavo, Hardcore Holly, William Regal, Viscera, and Tommy Dreamer to fill out the Brackets.
Ric Flair vs. Tommy Dreamer
Kane vs. William Regal
RVD vs. Sabu
Triple H vs. Hardcore Holly
HBK vs. Chavo
Booker T vs. Mark Henry
Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Benoit
The Undertaker vs. Viscera
This tournament could set up some possibly huge match ups that have potential to be quality Pay-Per-View main events, so the main part of this tournament would need to be put on one of the "Big Four" Pay-Per-Views. I cannot decide how I would even begin to decide who goes over who, but the Final Four I can see being Ric Flair, HHH, HBK and the Undertaker. This tournament would take some time to set up but in all reality could be done in 4 weeks, having some decent matches taking place on FREE TV and giving the guys who put in years and years of their lives on the road a payoff match. This would also be a good way for Flair or Undertaker to call it quits on perfect tenures in the squared circle. The Final Four would be on Pay-Per-View as the main attraction and would fill up 3 matches total.
Matt: My one, minor quibble with this is the fact a Face Authority Figure is setting this up. This is more for a Heel GM to set up to screw some hot young guy out of a title shot (Lashley, for instance).
Nick: It's a tournament. Works for me.
Matt: And finally, Jay 2K Winger brings a little touch of Lucha to the WWE.
I call it the WWE Tri-Brand Cup. Since all WWE PPVs are now "tri-branded," (brand extension? what brand extension?), this particular match would take place during a PPV somewhere down the line -- Summerslam, say.
Some time in mid-to-late June, the Tri-Brand Cup is announced: at Summerslam, it will be a three-team match, three-on-three-on-three, one team from each brand. The winning brand gets the Tri-Brand Cup and supreme bragging rights. ("We are the A-show!")
In the weeks leading up to Summerslam, each brand fills its team with a series of qualifying matches.
Team Raw:
- Edge (after defeating Randy Orton)
- Jeff Hardy (after defeating Chris Masters)
- Shawn Michaels (after defeating Umaga)
Team ECW:
- Elijah Burke (after defeating Tommy Dreamer)
- C.M. Punk (after defeating Balls Mahoney)
- Rob Van Dam (after defeating Matt Striker)
Team Smackdown:
- Finlay (after defeating William Regal)
- Matt Hardy (after defeating Gregory Helms)
- Mr. Kennedy (after defeating Chris Benoit)
Each team has a mixture of heels and faces, thus adding to the drama (can each team work as a unit?), and with the Hardys on opposing teams, the pot can be stirred by Edge or Kennedy as they keep telling Jeff or Matt, "Remember which team you're on." RVD, meanwhile, has to deal with the smug superiority of the leaders of the New Breed on his team, but at the same time, Punk and Burke are stepping on each other's toes, each believing himself to be the leader of not only Team ECW but of the New Breed. ("I'm Mr. McMahon's chosen one to lead the new ECW!" "Straight Edge means I'm better than you!")
Once the teams are formed, starting at Vengeance (or whatever the July PPV is called nowadays), the Tri-Brand Cup begins. Round One is a triple threat match between a member from each team. The winning team gets a 2 point lead.
Round Two (which takes place over the course of the following week) is a series of one-on-one matches: Raw vs. Smackdown, ECW vs. Raw, Smackdown vs. ECW. Winning team gets 1 point for those matches.
Round Three (the week after Round Two) is a series of tag-team matches (featuring the team members who DIDN'T compete in Round Two), same as Round One: Raw vs. Smackdown, ECW vs. Raw, Smackdown vs. ECW. Again, worth 1 point.
Although one team had gotten the early lead with the 2-point win at Vengeance, things even up later as the other teams make up the deficit. The result is after Round Four, which is another series of tag-team matches (different lineups this time), all three teams have pulled even. Thus, the Final Round of the Tri-Brand Cup will be held at Summerslam in an all-team triple threat match: Team Raw vs. Team ECW vs. Team Smackdown. Winner takes the Cup. But to make things more interesting, the man who gets the pinfall gets to book the match of their choice at Unforgiven. (In other words, a title match against their brand's champion, most likely.)
This further stirs the pot among the teams themselves, as each man wants to be the one who picks up that pinfall. While this does limit who is likely to pick up that pinfall (it's unlikely to be either of the Hardys or Elijah Burke), it makes for more drama. The winner of the match also gets to carry around the Tri-Brand Cup for a month until their title shot.
Matt: I like. That's really the best outcome possible this time round.
Nick: Normally I'm not one for point systems in wrestling. But this one you only get points for a victory, so it's all good. Not confusing, just a simple set of matches. I dig it.
Matt: So, now, finally, our ideas, or rather, I'm guessing, MY Idea.
Deadly Game: Vince, sick and tired of Lashley still breathing, sets up a match for One Night Stand he can't possibly survive. ECW Title match. It's no DQs, no Count Outs, pinfall and submission eliminations, but said falls only count in the ring. The participants?
Everyone.
The entire ECW roster, plus say 5 guys from Raw, 5 from Smackdown. The way the match works is that it's run in lots of mini matches. 95% of the roster runs from the ring, and big brawls occur all over the place while Snitsky battles a few jobbers before being beaten by RVD, who then fights Monty Brown for a bit, then Stevie runs in, then Punk and Kennedy brawl down and then out, and so on and so forth, you only have a few guys in the ring at any one time (people coming to the ring in order to eliminate someone they've beaten in the back), thus allowing people to rest backstage in-between appearances. This is a bit of a baby of mine; I think it's a good idea. Really.
Nick: Shit, I don't know. Did you say last week a new match that hasn't been on US TV? Torneo Cibernetico. Do that one in WWE.
Matt: So, that's hopefully given everyone a chance to use up their wild fantasies. So, what's next?
From ultra-creative to constrictive. Book Mr. Marella's IC Title reign.
