You're An Idiot And Here's Why 5.03.07: Randy Orton & The WWE

Posted by Rob Halden on 05.03.2007

Hey! Nothing You Can Say! Randy Orton's An Idiot!

This Week's Idiot: Randy Orton & The WWE

I'm not even sure how to cause $30,000 worth of damages to a hotel room. Other than, y'know, killing a really, really expensive hooker.

Randy Orton, third-generation wrestler and the youngest World Heavyweight Champion in history, has yet again proved himself to be an Idiot. And, yet again, the WWE has let him get away with it.

Randy Orton is the kind of wrestler who has it made in the WWE. A solid in-ring performer, a former military man, links to an historic wrestling family with extremely close ties to the WWE's original Wrestlemania glory days, and most importantly, a killer look. Homoerotic thoughts aside, there's no denying that Randy Orton looks exactly how the WWE wants its talent to look. A chiselled physique and superstar looks, Orton has the body to…no, no I'm sorry that's…I just can't avoid the homoerotica in that sentence. Look, let's just all agree as men who like to bang chicks, that Randy Orton looks good. Professionally speaking.

Yet Randy's idiocy has presented itself many a time. During his military career Orton went AWOL on two separate occasions and disobeyed a direct order from his commanding officer. He was tried and convicted, sentenced to thirty-eight days in a military prison and then dishonourably discharged from service. This would serve as a precursor to later developments in Randy's career.

In 2003-2004 Randy Orton was quickly scaling the roster, already an Intercontinental Champion has was given what must be any wrestler's wet-dream gimmick; becoming a ‘Legend Killer'. Orton was not only able to work with some of the most auspicious names in professional wrestling history (Billy Graham, Jake Roberts, Harley Race) he was also being put over by all of them on Raw and on Pay Per View. However it was during this time that Orton had a huge clash with fellow workers and management. Several reports surfaced that Randy had been "harassing" some of the WWE Divas, specifically Diva Search Contestants Rochelle Loewen and Amy Weber. Weber eventually left the company, citing the alleged harassment issues with Orton and his friend Mark Jindrak, calling it a "frat-house" like environment. However, the most disturbing claims allege that in retaliation for Rochelle Loewen not recognising Randy Orton, he….um….well he made poopy in her bag.

Of course the WWE took immediate action, telling Randy Orton that if he ever pulled that kinda shit (zing!) with the boys, he'd be severely punished! But, seeing as how it was just a couple of girls, no harm, no foul. Maybe Vince McMahon didn't feel he could preach to Randy about harassing women.

Unhindered by any of these backstage attitude problems, Randy Orton's star continued to rise in the WWE, as he broke away from Evolution, got the rub from Chris Benoit, became World Heavyweight Champion and entered into several main events against Triple H. Meanwhile Orton's behaviour backstage failed to improve, with numerous reports circling that his treatment of women had drawn him the ire management on several occasions. Randy has apparently openly joked about the amount of money he's been fined over these incidents.

Things came to ahead in April of 2006 when Orton was suspended by the WWE for "unprofessional conduct". When you take away the bunny-ears from this "unprofessional conduct" it becomes Caught Smoking Marijuana Backstage. Okay, hands up everybody who smokes pot at work around their boss and co-workers? Okay, everyone with their hands still down is twice as smart as Randy Orton. Smoking an illegal drug in your workplace will apparently only get you a sixty-day suspension and some Anger Management Classes if Vince McMahon is your boss. I dunno about the rest of you, but I'm pretty sure I'd get fired and arrested in my line of work. Clearly Randy Orton received some form of…I don't even want to call it punishment, because it's not. It's a cooling-off period. It's a penalty box is what it is. Orton returned to work in June of '06 and yes, he took a loss to Kurt Angle at One Night Stand, but he went on to beat Angle at the following Pay Per View and then was put into a program with the biggest name in the history of the business; Hulk Hogan.

Now I've heard other members of the IWC call Orton's loss to Hulk Hogan part of his continuing punishment for the backstage-pot incident. But I'm calling pure bullshit on that theory. First of all, if Orton was still being punished he wouldn't have been allowed to regain some heat against Kurt Angle by winning their rematch at Vengeance. Second of all, losing to Jeff Hardy is a punishment. Losing to Hardcore Holly or Stevie Richards is a punishment. Losing to Hulk Hogan, he of the original God-push, is not a punishment. Many would consider it a reward. To be allowed to work a huge Summerslam program with the father of Sports Entertainment could be considered the highlight of any wrestler's career.

Since then Orton has participated almost constantly in the main event of Raw. As a member of Rated-RKO Orton went on to win the Tag Team Championship, feuded with Ric Flair, DX and John Cena, taken part in Money In The Bank III at Wrestlemania 23 and then moved into a four-way program with Edge, Cena and Shawn Michaels. He has been circling the main event since October of last year and now (with Triple H's injury) makes up a quarter of the lead brand's top performers.

Yet again, despite his incredible push and incredible position on the card, Randy Orton has been suspended from the WWE for yet more "unprofessional conduct". This time around he was allegedly found unconscious in his hotel room on the European Tour after having caused an estimated $30, 000 worth of damages. Whilst wwe.com reported that "action" was being taken against Orton, it remains to be seen what this "action" will involve. He was removed from the remainder of the European Tour, yes. However, Orton still headlined Backlash on Sunday night, and still had an awesome fifteen-minute match on Raw Monday night. When was the last time a non-main event match on Raw went fifteen-minutes? I would agree that removing one of the headlined performers from the main event of Backlash would be screwing with the subscribers to that Pay Per View. But anyone who thinks that losing to Edge on Monday night was punishment, clearly didn't pay attention during my Hogan rant earlier. You could go backstage at Raw, ECW, Smackdown or TNA Impact and find scores of wrestlers who would love to go fifteen minutes with Edge to open up Raw, losing effort or not. And Orton getting bitched out by Khali also does not count at punishment since the same thing happened to Edge and HBK.

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say Orton will get fined again. He may have to go to Anger Management classes again. It's possible he'll get another short suspension, but I doubt it. The reason Orton keeps acting up like this, is because he keeps getting slapped on the wrist. I mean, it's also because he's a dick, but mainly because his punishments are just nominal. The WWE clearly feel like they can't punish Randy Orton. They're clearly thinking about the investment they have already made in him. The time and effort and money they've spent trying to make him the next big thing. They are also in the terrible position of Randy Orton being one of only two main event heels on Raw. If they take Randy out of the picture, if they push him back down the card or have him job out too many times to the wrong guys, then their main event scene is Edge taking on all the babyfaces.

Some could argue that TNA handle their problems much, much better than the WWE. Punishing both Austin Starr for his backstage attitude problems, and punishing Samoa Joe for public statements they weren't happy with. Maybe it was overkill in both cases. Maybe. But both guys will think twice in future. And probably won't shit in Gail Kim's bag. Probably.

You're An Idiot Because: You're just a complete dick. And your boss lets you get away with it.