Wrestling’s 3R’s 5.04.07: TNA Throws Away Money, Raw on a Roll, The ECW Originals Step Up, the Boogeyman Returns and More!
Posted by Larry Csonka on 05.04.2007
All that and more, just for you!
The 3R's of wRestling
Introduction~!
Welcome back kids for another edition of Wrestling's 3R's! As always I am Larry Csonka, along with me is my tag team partner "The Whole Geoffin Show" Geoff Eubanks. It is time again for that walk through the wild world of wrestling TV that we take each and every week. We have Impact, Smackdown, Raw, ECW and reader feedback, with a reply from me to a special douche bag! I think that's all you need to keep reading, so let's see how the column works and break down the week that was in wrestling!
How the 3R's of wRestling Work!
Here is a quick explanation of the 3 R's. I will take the 5 main shows (6 if I go RetRo) of the week: TNA Impact, WWE Raw, ECW on Sci-Fi and WWE Smackdown. If we have a PPV, that show will get a special PPV edition of the R's all to its own. I then group my feelings on the shows in various categories: The Right, the wRong and the Ridiculous. The Right is stuff that worked very well: a great promo, a great match and so on. PuRgatoRy is a section between the right and wrong. It shows equal traits from both sides that cannot be ignored and need discussed. It is not a bad place per say, as things can get remedied or go the wrong way the very next week. The wRong is what it sounds like: bad matches, bad or boring promos and so on. The Ridiculous is stuff that had no right on TV: Stupid angles, Diva searches and so on. And there is always a possibility of a 5th R, which is as bad as they come, unless you are TNA. They have a special R all of their own, the 6th R; the Russo-FN-Riffic~!
This column is supposed to be analytical, and at the right time very critical of the shows, it was the whole reason it was created. This is not a "mark" column, nor a "smark" column, I cannot speak for Geoff, but my goal is to analyze the show from many different fronts, reward the good and call out the bad. There are also occasions where I will bring out a 4th, 5th or even a 6th R to the column, so beware of those~! I will not apologize for my opinions, they are as they are, whether very positive or negative.
iMpact!:
iMpact 4.26.06:
The Right:
Eric's Special Friend - The week before Robert Roode gave Eric Young 7-days to tell him who his friend was, "or else." This week Roode and Brooks came to the ring and demanded Eric come out. Eric declared that Roode had everything, money, the woman, and all the tools to rule the wrestling world, but all he had was wrestling. Young then said if it came to it, he would stand by his principles and if Roode wanted to fire him, he could. Roode then started slapping Eric repeatedly and Eric finally snapped and attacked Roode. He cleaned house, and then grabbed up Brooks and POWERBOMBED her in a glorious fashion. He went back and beat down Roode, and in one of two small complains here, Brooks was able to have enough to crawl over and LOW BLOW Eric. Bullshit, but fine. They beat Eric down, chair shots and he bled, which is issue 2 as Angle just bled earlier in a beat down, but a small gripe. Roode is killing Eric and says he has to the count of 3 to tell him who the friend was, and when he got to 3 JJ's music hit and he charged the ring. He cleared the ring of Roode, and then was left with Brooks…and EL KABONG and she was dead. Usually I don't need extra violence in wrestling, but she is a worked and she is the one who screwed (not in the way Eric wanted) Eric and caused him all of this grief. So the bitch got hers, Eric fought back, JJ was the friend and got a huge pop, the crowd loved it and there is CONTINUITY~! I am a happy man; this was good stuff.
The Sabin Stampede - They set up a match this week to set the X_-Division title match for Sacrifice. The Sabin Stampede, where a bunch of mismatched tag teams would fight, and the winning team would be put into a 3-way with Sabin for that X-Title. This was another way over booked match to get to an end. Wacky tag teams formed to compete in a match, where the winning team gets put into a 3-way with the champion. BUT the tag partners cannot tag each other, hence can't fully work as a team, taking away the whole team concept. WHY ARE YOU ASSHOLES TRYING SO HARD? DO a mini-gauntlet, when you get to the final 2 guys, that's it, THEY get into the 3-way. Just something simpler, you don't have to make everything so elaborate, this isn't rocket science for fuck sake. Anyway, Machismo and Dutt won the match. Nash came out to celebrate with them and then of course, DISSENTION IN THE RANKS~! And that's because no one can stay happy in TNA. Fuck. One of them will win the title at Sacrifice and then they'll feud.
Wacky Backlund -Since Starr got suspended, it seems as if they are transitioning the feud with Backlund to Shelley and Sabin, which is actually fine I think. I feel that Sabin loses the X Title at the PPV, and at Slammiversary Shelley and Sabin face Backlund and Senshi maybe. Blow that off and Shelley and Sabin join the tag ranks full time, which will be fun shit. The Paparazzi video this week was funny as they ribbed on Backlund's walks, with Shelly mocking his losing to Nash, having him pick up pennies and then trash. Finally NINJA SABIN jumped from the trees and the video ended. It was fun, it was wacky, and while the end will be a good tag team added to the roster, I am just not sure that this is the best way to go about it.
The wRong:
13:48 - I was hoping after last week's slide back that they would give the proper time this week. And then there was the fact that they had 4-matches on the show, and when you see that you'd think that they could easily hit 15-18 minutes of match time. Wrong. It just wasn't to be, they just can't keep it up. Last week they had less time than I like but a well-built show with a great flow, so it was fine. This week was like throwing shit at the wall, no flow and couldn't even hit the time mark. As I have said, I still feel that they need to offer up as close to as much wrestling time as there are commercials. There are 18-20 minutes of commercials per episode of Impact. So hence forth as I have said, I feel that there should be around 15-18-minutes of wrestling action per week, minimum on Impact. Last week was a well-paced show and escaped the wrath, but this week's show doesn't get that luxury.
The Ridiculous:
Sting vs. Angle - This is what I had to say during last week's 411 Fact or Fiction: People will use the argument that they need increased ratings in order to get more time. Let me enlighten you, SPIKE is happy, TNA is doing consistent ratings, while they need to do better, they are fine right now. Here is another fact, TV RATINGS MEAN JACK AND SHIT. TV Ratings to PPV buy rate conversion is what is KEY. TNA gets anywhere from 25,000-60,000 PPV buys, they are translating 2-5% of their audience to PPV viewers, and that is not cutting it. UFC is converting at times 48% of their audience to PPV buys, which is astronomical! TNA should be building compelling TV, leading up to first time matches like Sting vs. Angle. At this point in wrestling, the first time/dream match isn't out there like apples on a tree, they are a rarity and they need to properly build to them, and giving them away on free TV is extremely stupid. For the longest time I mocked WWE for hating money, but I tell you, TNA is quickly taking that title over. This is a very bad move by TNA, and when you see what they actually do it is even worse. You can only do the first match one time, that's why it is called the FIRST MATCH~! Now when we look at the rating, which is the sole reason that they put the match on TV, it scored a 1.0. The basic rating that they always get. TNA always scores a 0.8-1.2 rating. This didn't pop the rating, and thusly took away PPV buys the company desperately needs. When Angle appeared at Bound for Glory as the ref for Sting vs. JJ they got about 50,000 buys. Angle vs. Joe, a first time match, dream match, they scored over 60,000-65,000 buys. First time events, double the normal buy rates. People will pay for that, it is a fact. Sting vs. Angle is a match people thought would never happen. This was a dream match to most, and something that easily should have happened on PPV. But it didn't. I don't care that it was only a 2-minute match and ended in a schmozz ending, they gave away he first match and can never do it again. TNA has decided that they don't like money and done so in spectacular fashion. Great work guys…/sarcasm.
Sting vs. Cage - And then there was this. They had a HOT angle between Sting and Cage a while back, did the Cage turn and then looked to build to their match. They dropped it, and then, out of nowhere gave it away on free TV as well. Bye-bye money. So Sting wins the title shot for SACRIFICE, a PPV, and then they just decide that they are going to do this on FREE TV AGAIN. Worst of all you have just thrown away the main event of the PPV because you want to get froggy and have a 3-way, which is bad booking because the next month you're having a 5-man King of the Mountain Title Match. Yeah, real good planning there guys. The other thing that sucks was the fact that we only got about 4-minutes of this match, a match where Tenay and West were like, "This is the kind of thing you can see on TNA PPV!" What, 4-minute matches with no finishes? Maybe that's why there is only 30,000 buyers. I mean, don't get me wrong, the match, what we saw of it was rather good and Sting was working his ass off. But it was a bog old waste the way they did it, and what is even worse is that they hyped the above dream match and had this match while promoting "We are Wrestling" all in the same week that WWE had the epic HBK vs. Cena on free TV. Sucks for TNA.
SmackDown!: By: "The Whole Geoffin Show" Geoff Eubanks
SmackDown 4.27.06
Well, it's another "taking the good with the bad" week in the land of the silver & blue, so things will likely be quite dissected here today…
The Right:
Ballin up the aisle – Many have criticized the fact that Chris Benoit "became" MVP's second championship opponent tonight, but I think it was a pretty awesome tactic, especially as the London crowd really seemed to pop massive for The Wolverine. What it meant for the rest of us sitting at home was a reminder of what made this program blossom at WrestleMania and was a taste of what we'd get at BACKLASH the following Sunday. Furthermore, this little clash here tonight continued a developing trend on SD! that I REALLY like, that being, to give us a taste of a scheduled match, just long enough to whet our appetites, such that, once the match abruptly ends, we're left wanting more. That's the kind of booking on the show that can translate into PPV buys, our natural inclination being such that we want resolution. As long as WWE can deliver that resolution on PPV, why, it's kinda like the good ol' days when a WWE PPV actually meant something and wasn't just a costly Sunday version of your favorite brand's show.
I'm really loving the story we've seen develop here between MVP and Benoit. Even that lame ass pseudo-champion challenge MVP had going for a few weeks pre-WM had its place, because it gave MVP the appearance of being completely nonplussed about facing a legend like Benoit and considered it a no-brainer that he'd walk from WM with the UST. Granted, WM ended up being MVP's coming-out party of sorts, because he surprised a LOT of people with his performance, managing to go just about hold-for-hold, counter-for-counter with one of the greatest performers to ever lace boots, but came up short from unseating the champion, because the champion didn't earn his reputation the way The Honky-Tonk Man "earned" his…Benoit knows how to play that bait-n-switch in the ring, distracting MVP, forcing him to focus his attention on the mat as the champ went to the air to retain successfully with the diving headbutt.
Granted tonight, Benoit outsmarted MVP again, but we're seeing little peaks into MVP's ability that's even impressing me. I've noticed this in recent weeks but have withheld from mentioning it because I wanted to make sure it wasn't just some fluke. One of the myriad reasons I have so much Benoit love in me is because, when watching an old Pegasus Kid match (Benoit's masked identity when first arriving in Japan), one can see pretty much the qualitative talent he brought from Canada; however, check out a later Wild Pegasus match (Benoit's identity after losing a mask versus mask match against Jushin Liger) and one realizes how much of the local flavor with respect to performance he'd managed to incorporate into his arsenal; he was always learning, always picking up moves from his opponents, which was a major contribution to what has made him the legend he's become today.
That said, it's appearing to me that MVP is doing just that, as well, as, since beginning his chase for the UST, he's starting to throw a few more suplexes, a la Benoit. I've already made peace with the fact that MVP has had much of his DSW moveset reined in since being called up to SD! and that he's being allowed, little by little, to gradually slip out of the handcuffs. If he can successfully combine the moveset to which we have yet to be treated with discovering new holds, new counters, new maneuvers as a result of this program with Benoit, I'm quite ready to accept MVP as the talent everyone else appears to believe he is. In closing, I also really dug the fact that he bailed out and took the count out so close to BACKLASH, especially as the UST wasn't on the line tonight. Drew a ton of heat, fortifying his heal status, and it was a crafty heel move on his part, showing how much he's evolving into the thinking man's asshole. Well done! (Well discuss the BACKLASH match itself and the aftermath next week!)
Roll the Deuce and pop the Cherry! – Okay, I'm disgusted to see the WWETTTs around the waists of Laverne & Shirley, but at least McMahonagement is trying to go forth in a somewhat intelligent, consistent manner. As I said last week, we all know Paul London has taken FAR worse spills being eliminated from battle royals in WWE and gotten up to can-can up the aisle, so that missed moonsault from the apron last week was a paper cut to London, but, for kayfabe sake, I'll play along, especially since he sold it and the subsequent "injury" so well. Besides, it was about the only believable scenario I'd accept that saw Joanie Loves Chachi take the belts from London & Brian Kendrick, the latter facing Deuce in singles action here tonight.
I know I give the champions a ration of shit, and most of it is well deserved, in my view; however, this was NOT a half bad match at all here tonight! It's becoming clear to me that Douche is the better of the two of our tag champions, plus, it doesn't hurt that Kendrick has become a hell of a bad ass little performer during this second tenure on SD!. Although we didn't have a plethora of plot advancement here tonight (not that we necessarily need much, as the story is pretty straight-forward), we saw that the champions are getting a little smarter, using Cherry as a distraction to the ref, especially now that Ashley is out of the picture, thus Kendrick & London have no one to kerb (since SD! was in London this week, I used the English spelling…continental of me, no…?) her activity and it was good to see London with the taped ribs, selling the "injury". This pretty much existed tonight to keep the program fresh in our minds till London "heals" and the former champs can challenge to take back their belts!
Incidentally, some rather astute comments from reader Keith on this subject:
I'm not mad, not mad at all that they took the belts off of London and Kendrick. This had to be the only way they'd get the belts off of them while feuding with the "Little Dice men". Every week JBL(greatest commentator today) talks about how eventually they'll crash and burn. So what does London do? He crashes and burns. now I'm surprised that they didn't mention his condition on wwe.com seeing as how he sold the miss perfectly. I don't think that he moved at all; and the look on Brian's face when he realized that his tag partner wasn't there to help him let you know that they weren't going to make it.
kudos to Brian Kendrick for changing tactics in his match. they lose the tag belts when his partner highflys and crashes. what does he do the next week, he gets more technical. and when he realizes that it's not going to work and the crowd isn't getting into it he lets a little out the bag.
I am SO getting a nasty call from JT this weekend over this, but… – God help me, and I hope I can explain this properly, such as why I am placing this in the Right section, and let me state VERY CLEARLY up front, I am not eating any words and I am most certainly NOT jumping on any bandwagons. However, WWE has certainly managed to spotlight and run with worse pairings in prominent fashion over the years than Kane & The Boogeyman. What elicits such a reaction from me? It was Kane's reaction to Boogey that amused me. Kane is already in the ring when Boogey's entrance music, "Disco Santeria (The Convulsing Retard Dub)", hits and he gazes up the aisle, through the smoke with a decided expression of WTF?! on his face, which he holds as Boogey slides in the ring…until he starts oozing night crawlers out of his maw, causing Kane to bust up as if he just heard a good Jeff Foxworthy "You Might Be A Sadist If…" joke. I seriously don't get what Michael Cole meant when he repeatedly bleated like a lamb, "They're the most unlikely team EVER!"; I believe there was some smart devil here on 411 a few months ago (oh, yeah, ME!) who brought up the fact that these guys have basically the same gimmick now. It stands to reason that they'd get on like a couple of sanitarium inmates…or Mickey & Mallory Knox (come on, you'd LOVE to hear Boogey sing "Born Bad"!).
At any rate, I'm a big fan of utilizing the collective talent pool employed by WWE, and to their greatest extent, minimizing their faults, and that's what we essentially saw here tonight with this, what seems to be our newest tag team. Now, don't get me wRong, I'm still fuming over William Regal & Dave Taylor being forced to be the fool foils for Kane and now Boogey, but if it HAD to be this match, it was booked pretty well, at least from the view afforded me by my swank new chaise. It would stand to reason that Kane would dominate the two homeboys in the early going, but, it also stands to reason that the lads would, given their ability and cohesion, eventually manage to break Kane down and begin to dominate him until one made the crucial mistake that would allow Kane to hot tag Boogey who was, um, ready (I hesitate referring to him as ‘fresh') and willing to bat clean-up on the duo who had been fighting and quick-tagging the entire ten minutes.
All in all, as solid a segment as it could have been, all things concerned, and I "get" the pairing of Kane & Boogey, but they're going to be a challenging team to book, as each match will have to pretty much be carbon-copies of this one tonight, given Boogey's one-dimensional talent. I'll curse this team in time, but as for tonight, it was done as well as it could have been, my own personal feelings about it aside.
Speaking of personal feelings, with his new ass-boil pus-yellow make-up, is it just me, or does Boogey's face now look like an open-faced McDonald's hamburger with too much ketchup, hold the pickles…?
puRgatory:
You know you want (to hit) MAAAYYY – Jigglin Hall's Brooke Hogan massacre just does not stop making me laugh. (Incidentally, just a funny aside…my company created that little thing called "Carmen Electra's Aerobic Striptease" a few years ago and, as such, one of the producers from "Hogan Knows Best" called my office last week seeking permission to use some footage on the show because Hogan's male demon seed, whatever the little fucker's name is, I don't know or care, the one who failed driver's training, apparently comes close to breaking out into spontaneous masturbation watching the DVD. Quaint.) I stick this in puRgatory because it wasn't a BAD match, but it was just kind of there and I'm going easy on this because we all know it was supposed to have been Ashley instead of Michelle McCool, so Michelle was having to step up and quickly and, considering what I'd seen from her in the past, she appears to be coming Right along…although nowhere near a Victoria or a Mickie James. Pretty much, this is just a chance to keep Jigglin's hilarious gimmick on TV and to give all the little Hogans of the world something to squirt their weenuses to.
Teddy's stiff little peanut – Oh, Thaddeus, what would King Bookah say? Well, we've all been suckered in once or twice by a hot body and a beautiful set of, um, nose…in the past and nuzzling with Kristal must certainly smell better than traveling with Ron Simmons and Butch Reed…unless she has this crazy boisterous fart problem (lets you stop a moment to visualize Kristal leaning to one side, trying the one-cheek sneak on Teddy's vinyl couch, but ends up sounding like a sheet of Velcro being ripped apart) or is so loose she needs a spotter to do her Kagel exercises. Remaining in puRgatory till we get an idea of where this is going.
The wrong:
This is some Bizarro world shit here this week – Yeah, Boogey makes it into The Right and here we find Kennedy and Finlay in wRong. Reason being? I just don't like what's going on here. Not because my favorites aren't being pushed to my liking, but because the whole scenario makes no sense and, quite frankly, is a little boring.
We have Finlay, who pinned Kennedy CLEANLY two days before WM, where Kennedy won $ITB3. Not only should Finlay have fire enough to challenge Kennedy for the briefcase based upon that fact alone, Kennedy fuuucked up The Little Bastard on his way up that ladder 1 April, such that we've not seen the fella since. Finlay has a rolodex of reasons to want to beat the shit out of Kennedy, aside from, you know, the fact that his whole GIMMICK is that he LOVES to fight. But Kennedy comes out the week following WM and does enough verbal gymnastics to make Finlay not only forget about all of it, but to JOIN HIM and fight The Undertaker and Batista, who have diddly-fucking squat to do with either of them!
Meanwhile, we have Taker and Batista. I've run into the ground how lackluster the build for their WM clash ended up being, the premise being much more interesting than anything we got from either of them on The Road to WM, and now that Taker has relieved Big Dave of his ten pound burden, we're getting more of the same. It smells to me as if McMahonagement is trying to pit face versus face without turning either of them, presumably because of plans involving Batista after this program concludes, and they need him to be a face (Mark Henry, anyone…?) and it's my contention pitting the two against one another in any other situation but solely over the WT would see Batista booed out of the building in favor of cheering Taker. But what's with these two tagging with each other every other week and getting on FINE, but for a few glares and stares, then a half-assed, "I'm taking the belt" once the match is over…? LAME.
We have here four (well…three-and-a-half) great in-ring performers, and one convoluted program that is spinning its wheels week-in and week-out, all presumably so we can maintain Batista's face and Finaly's heel statuses. How hard would it be to have Dave and Taker just cut loose and let it all go, playing up the whole mutual respect thing in promos while Cole and JBL rhapsodize about the spirit of competition and the heart of a champion and all that? If Mark Henry really does target Batista upon his return, it'd swing Dave back into staunch face land and all would be well. And how tough would it be to pit Finlay against Kennedy? The matches would be stellar, Finlay and The Bastard (once he returns) could have a LOT of fun without really altering their characters much at all, and it would all help to build Kennedy, which is the end goal of this whole deal anyway, because he's the obvious stand-out YOUNG talent of the four, Right? *sigh* (We'll discuss Taker's six-to-eight month sabbatical from SD! and the fallout next week!)
The Ridiculous:
MVP mentions the "Scots play" – I suppose McMahonagement was trying to be cute by naming MVP's pseudo-champion Hamlet Macbeth, being in London and all…never mind that Hamlet was Danish and Macbeth was Scottish. Yes, I know. Both were written by William Shakespeare, who was English. Stratford-upon-Avon. Got it.
The reason why this slips down to The Ridiculous while everything else is considerably higher up the happy trail is because this is just the sort of thing that could kill MVP. The psychology leading MVP to WM was that he pulled all these lame jobber matches as a means to display to Benoit that he didn't sweat the champion and would take the belt like Angelina swiped Brad to play daddy to her neo-Josephine Baker refugee shelter. I laid out the history above, I'll not do it again, but, by virtue of resorting back to this mess tonight, it felt like total back-tracking on the part of booking, as opposed to the natural escalation in a war of psychology outside the ring and a war of wrestling inside of it. MVP is Right about there, to that spot where he could really transition (which I think he might once he eventually lifts the belt off Benoit), but it's stuff like this that will mire down the character, and, since MVP IS a character (at least till he sheds that putrid ring gear), he must be booked as such, and in consistent fashion, not being written like a cat who forgets if it buried its shit, and so exhumes it to be certain.
Remember people, show Geoff some love by emailing him here: yostankmama@hotmail.com
RAW!:
Raw 4.30.07:
The Right:
Orton vs. Edge - Orton and Edge kicked off Raw this week. JR was on his game and explained that this was due to them not having the time last week for the match. Now while we all know what the real deal is, as I said last week, it is a great old school nod and something I appreciated. So they went out there and had this match, and it was going well. Orton hit his shoulder off the post and then as he was on the apron Edge speared him off the apron onto the announce table. Nice bump there. From there the match just kept building and getting better. Orton got busted open legit late off of a snake eyes type spot, which only added to things I feel. The end saw Edge get a spear off of a counter and score the clean pin. For the second straight night Orton did the JOBSKI as part of his punishment. And for those sending me emails telling me to apologize about what I have said to Orton, and for all of you naïve enough to think his great performances are anything else but an attempt to keep his job let me clarify. Every time he has gotten in trouble, he ends up working his ass off to prove that "I'm worth it, don't fire me." Also, Taker is hurt, someone may have to be moved to Smackdown. Orton knows this and as I said, he is busting his ass. He is an idiot as I have said, he has talent but is an asshole. He is playing the game, and trying to keep his job. He bumped his ass off and worked extra hard in order to keep his position, nothing more nothing less.
The Hardy's vs. The Dervish continues - They continued the feud with the Hardy's and the Dervish this week on Raw. Jeff Hardy had a match with Johnny Nitro, who apparently creative has nothing for because he's just getting jobbed and or not used. What the fuck happened there? Anyway, they have the match and Cade and Murdoch are on commentary, and putting Jeff over. "Well JR, they beat us, they were the better team. Then there Hardy's are quicker than a coon dog. Look at that man, that's just athletic." They were kind, polite and creepy, setting us all up. After Jeff won they tried to go and get a handshake from him, but he didn't buy it and left. They clapped for him and were nice guys. They're setting them up to get another rematch and I loved it. They were also great on commentary, and it was nice for them to get the time on there to showcase their talents on the mic as well as their personalities. Good and simple stuff here that I liked.
RVD vs. Umaga (The Originals Rebel against Vince) - WWE showed highlights from after Backlash of the ECW Originals cutting promos on Vince and his win of the ECW Title. We saw Sabu walking and then throwing shit, Sandman talking about holding the belt 5-times and Vince pissing on pro-wrestling, RVD trying to be passionate and Dreamer doing what he does best, cry on demand. This led to Vince ordering RVD to Raw to face…UUUUUUUUUUUUMAGA~! They had a fine match here, one I really enjoyed. They worked hard, RVD tried to stop the monster and did his wacky selling, the monster was a monster and it worked. RVD looked to have it all in control, he hit the frog splash and then…UMAGA goozled him as he came down and stood up, and then delivered the Samoan Spike for the win. Good near 10-minute match and I think that they could do even better on PPV. Some complained that RVD got !~BERRIED~! Yes I know that I used BERRIED, its funny, so shut up. But the fact is that Umaga has beat everyone, minus Cena and Lashley, and RVD is looking to be leaving. It all makes sense actually, and I had no problems with it.
Kennedy - I loved this because I think they're swerving us totally. The tease at Backlash was great, but this is inspired if it plays off the way I think it will. See, Kennedy is getting a lot of face reactions, and they don't want that yet. So they have him come out and say that the way Edge won the title with his MITB was shitty, he took advantage of a beaten man and that he won't do that, no, he's a stand up guy. Next year at WM he'll challenge for the title. That sets it up for THIS week. Taker in injured, they have to take the title off of him and I think that they want to do a Henry vs. Batista feud, but not for the title. In the end, I think that this is all a set up for Kennedy walking out of Pittsburgh with the World title, and if so, it is inspired booking and smart since they have the crutch of the MITB shot.
puRgatory:
Melina & Victoria vs. Mickie James & Candice Michelle - This was fine. It didn't do much as far as the direction of the division and if Mickie will get a rematch or not, but the match was fine. Candace is quickly becoming the most improved wrestler in this last year. This time last year she was completely worthless, but has now become totally acceptable and if she keeps working, may even become damn good. As I said, fine stuff, no real direction and it didn't mean a ton at the end of the night, so we'll put it here.
The wRong:
Santino's sit down - So the Santino interview was…something. He just happened to be training to be a wrestler, just happened to be home and just happened to get picked. He then won the title and went on a tirade of Italian Stereotypes, including a large working family and wine drinking. He doesn't want the dream to end. Yeah, this is SO much better than my training with Lashley idea and delaying the in ring debut, goofy fucking interviews that make me hate the guy are just doing the trick.
Flair vs. Carlito - The Flair and Carlito story continues in the most obvious turn ever program. I really wish they would have mixed shit up with this, but they went old and lame with it and it came off that way. First of all there was the, "Let's tag one more time" shit that was a dead give away. God I really wish Flair would have turned. But then there is the stupidity of Carlito. He is going to turn on Flair, but then allows himself to get his ass kicked for 5-minutes and THEN attacks Flair. Yeah, no wonder you're where you are on the card, you have no brain. They had a decent brawl and all afterwards, but I am not caring about the feud right now. Hopefully Flair rips him a new asshole every week on the mic so I can laugh at Carlito.
The Ridiculous:
…Khali… - Apparently WWE looked at HBK vs. Cena and said, "I wonder what the polar opposite of this would be" and some asshole yelled "KHALI~!" I just don't get this. You had Edge vs. Cena last year that was great and that you could do again. You have Cena vs. HBK now. You just had an awesome 4-way, and in all reality those 4-guys have been running hot for 3-months and helping to make the show awesome. And for some reason they have decided to go away from that direction and we are getting…Khali. Fuck. Seriously, just when I am enjoying shit and praising them they do some stupid shit like this. Damn you and your Doo-Rag to hell Vincent Kennedy McMizzle.
ECW on Sci-Fi!:
ECW on Sci-Fi!: 5.01.07:
The Right:
New Breed Drama - The drama of the New Breed continued this week on ECW, and in a good way. No matches we have seen 100 times, nope, angle advancement. First of all we saw Elijah Burke talking with HIS New Breed, minus Punk. He thought he deserved an apology, and would get one from Punk tonight. They went to the ring, he took his coat off and said anyone could beat Punk, and tonight, Thorn would.
Thorn Quits: So Thorn hits the ring, he and Punk have a little ditty of a match and then in 2-minutes, Punk gets the Go2Sleep and that's all. Yeah, in the surface a squash, but it makes sense in a way that the Breed was rattled and he obviously thought Burke was going to take the match. After the match Thorn wonders where the rest of the Breed was, and Burke replied, "Watching you get beat." He then said that anyone could beat Punk; Striker could, Cor Von could and Elijah sure could, he even said Ariel could beat Punk! Thorn then tells them to fuck off and quits. Dissention~!
A Major(s) Problem: Matt Striker and Monty Von Cor then had a tag match later on, and were determined to get a win for the New Breed. Their opponents were Bret and Brian, the Majors Brothers. The Majors Brothers were a stand out tag team in Deep South and have been rumored to be brought up for a while. They're a really fun tag team, kind of a Rockers/Londrick type of team with a ton of potential. But back to the match, they have the match, Striker and Marcus Brown control things, they look fine but then there is a bit of miscommunication and Striker gets pinned. Quick aside on Striker, smart having him in there since he worked with the Majors in Deep South. Burke was pissed and totally berated Striker and made him sad, poor guy. This will play out more next week, and I am interested to see where it goes.
Vince Meets with the Originals, here comes the BIDNESS now! - So after his ECW title win and showing post show interviews with the ECW Originals, Vince decided to have a stand off with these men. Vince came to the ring with a power walk/brother strut as he is apparently trying to be "hip" with the doo-rag. He said that they could talk to cameras, but saying those things to his face was different, so he called them out to the ring. So they did and they had a hilarious session of barbs, including Sandman telling Vince to read between the lines, Vince being afraid to talk with Sabu and then Dreamer being all-dramatic.
Vince sets them up…: Then they all demanded a shot at him. Vince said he didn't like drunkards, Dreamer was dreaming and passes on Sabu. He then decides that they could win a chance at the title match with him, in a 4-way dance, they would have to face each other. The set up was on. Vince then decided since he is the new king of extreme that this would be an Extreme rules match, and said to "Wheel that crap out…HERE COMES THE BIDNESS NOW~!"
The Originals Destroy each OTHER for a shot at Vince and give a BIG FUCK YOU to the doubters: So they had the match, and at first seemed to be bucking Vince as they began wrestling, yes, back slides and shit like that. But then their hardcore nature took over and those 4-guys kicked the shit out of each other. While not a long match, these guys went out there and proved a lot of people wrong. They can still go, they can still work in their old environment and they have delivered again. In the end RVD got the win, and will face Vince for the title next week, in a match where you know there will be some shenanigans. Good segment, good match and as much as I don't like Vince as champ, he is entertaining in the role.
puRgatory:
Lashley Angry…I think - Bobby came to the ring to kick off ECW this week, and says he has an injured shoulder and that McMahon got his way and took the title from him. He said that the only people happy were the McMahon family, and that he would give Vince a beating and take his title back. AEE came out and said that Lashley couldn't touch Vince, Shane or Umaga, and if he did he would lose his title shot. Lashley realized that AEE didn't mention himself, so he tossed his wheelchair to the steel steps, and left him laying. This was fine, but I just have a hard time buying Lashley as a bad ass, and he needs more promo work. As I said, this was fine, not great, but not bad.
The wRong:
NADDA~!
The Ridiculous:
NADDA~!
READER RANTS~!
From Chris -
How many times must we discuss this?? Why weren't all the titles defended at WrestleMania? Because there were 8 matches and a total of 9 titles! Why is that such a tough concept for you to grasp? It's not practical anymore because there simply isn't enough time to feature all the titles. 8 matches - 9 titles = -1. It's not rocket science. You're right that WrestleMania is the biggest show of the year - which is exactly the problem here. When WrestleMania began, the WWF featured around 25-30 wrestlers and four titles. Two decades later, it's 3 brands, 9 titles, and over 80 wrestlers total, not even including one-offs like Stone Cold and Mick Foley. It's unlikely that we'll be seeing all of the titles on the line at any WrestleMania in the foreseeable future, kiddo. But let me say it one last time - all the titles weren't on the line at WrestleMania because YOU CAN'T HAVE 9 TITLE MATCHES WHEN THERE ARE ONLY 8 MATCHES~! Do you understand???
Yeah, how many times DO we have to discuss this. See, you have now annoyed me with your constant demeaning tone. So listen up fuck face. WrestleMania, biggest show of the year, showcase of the immortals, you book all year to get there, you should have enough fucking talent on the writing staff to write stories for ALL of the titles so that ALL of the titles are defended. They only booked 8 matches because they were STUPID. The show ended 30-minutes early. They had an ASSLOAD of dead time. They could have had 10-matches, all the title matches and the hair vs. hair match and been fine. They can do it if they want to, but they didn't. And you're cute calling me kiddo, you move out from home yet douche bag? Inclosing shit head, WrestleMania did a great buy rate and that is all well and good, but from the analytical standpoint of what the show SHOULD be they missed the boat. Now go back and suck on your mamma's teet and spank to some tubgirl porn, and seriously, stay the fuck out of my email box because the level of stupidity scares away the other emails. If you don't understand what I have laid out over the last years, you have an extreme lack of reading comprehension.
From 411's Vincent who is frustrated -
Hey Larry, Vincent from 411Games.
I 100% agree about the "Ridiculous" you gave Backlash for basically being better then WrestleMania 23. I feel so ripped off from having to order WM23, when not even a whole month after that event these guys are having better matches on not only the following PPV, but also on FREE TV.
Cena & Michaels had a better match on Free TV, though I might let that slide since they were in the UK and wanted to give them something special.
ECW Originals & New Breed had a better match TWO DAYS after the PPV.
MVP & Benoit had an equal or better match on both TV and the PPV.
Batista & Undertaker had a better match on PPV.
So in the future, if I want to watch WM23 again or someone decides to buy the DVD, what's there worth watching? MitB was still good, Kane/Khali sucked, Melina/Ashley sucked, and BotB was good in an entertaining sort of way. So basically, only two of the matches are now worth watching since the rest of the matches were either given away for free or done much better on a different PPV.
If I were able to judge PPV's based on the "aftertaste" or something, I'd give WM23 a 3 out of 10. What a rip-off.
From John on Backlash -
After watching the pay per view tonight, I have one major observation. The wrong people are being kept strong, or made to look weak.
1.) Lashley - You book the 3-1, man against the odds, no chance in hell in winning so that when the underdog pulls out the win, he looks like a world breaker. BUT, I don't think most people thought Vince and Co. would actually win. We have these three on one matches all the time, and the hero very rarely loses. (I think it was in the back of my head as a possibility, but I didn't think the McMahon ego was THAT big!) So Lashely looks like a punk for losing what should have been a sure thing. Plus, I know Umaga is a wild, uncontrollable beast and all (he doesn't understand the concept of a tag, but he has a firm enough grasp of the rules of the ring to keep his hand on the tag rope, figure that out!) But Umaga looks like a dumbass for letting Vince get the pin. So now, your number one face, and the possible future of the company looks weak, and a solid upper card heel looks like an idiot, but Vince isn't finished putting himself over because now it's time to take a crap on the rest of the roster. Vince walks by Dreamer, RVD, Sabu, and Sandman, and essentially hands them a punk card. So 6 people had to take a hit in one 15 minute span just to give McMahon his moment in the sun
2.) Cena - This is something that has bothered me for the last few months, and it reared it's head in the closing moments of the PPV. Cena wins in a fluke, which is great, he fought hard, he got lucky, and everyone looks good. Afterwards, HBK gives him a tongue lashing. I understand it, he is pissed and rightly so. The match should have been his. Here is when I have a problem. Cena takes it, and looks shocked and hurt. For the entirety of the HBK Cena feud, Cena has had this same "Why are you doing this, Shawn? I thought we were friends," look on his face. He has eaten super kick after super kick. Shawn has consistently put him down, and he's starting to sound like that ex-girlfriend who you treat like shit, yet still thinks that because you come over at 3 am for a quick drunken hit, you're still in love with her. Shouldn't the WWE Champion be a.) smarter than that, and b.) not so much of a b*tch?
From Stephen who was LIVE at Backlash -
Just got back from Backlash, great experience! I've been a fan of wrestling since WrestleMania III and am just now seeing a PPV (and an Undertaker entrance) live for the first time!
Flair opened up the night with a welcome…crowd went nuts for him, of course.
Dark match: Carlito d. Johnny Nitro….solid match.
Match of the Night: Crowd seemed to eat up the Taker/Batista match the most (though Benoit/MVP matches keep getting better)
I don't even know if I'd give a "Trash"…but instead of watching the Women's match, I went to the souvenir stand, so I guess that answers that.
And I still can't get behind Cena (that's what Orton said!) but the man illicit a reaction like NOBODY on that roster right now. Whether it's for him or against him, he definitely gets the crowd going, and I respect him for that.
Total score I'd give it a 7 or 8…pretty solid from top to bottom!
