You're An Idiot And Here's Why 5.10.07: Mr. Kennedy, Rey Mysterio, & The Rock

Posted by Rob Halden on 05.10.2007

Mr. Kennedy, Rey Mysterio & The Rock. What do they all have in common? Besides Lita? They're all this week's Idiots.

This Weeks Idiots: Mr. Kennedy, Rey Mysterio & The Rock

WARNING: SMACKDOWN SPOILERS CONTAINED WITHIN…..

ALSO, DON'T READ THE MAIN PAGE….

OR THE FORUM….

OR GO TO WWE.COM….

OR HAVE SUBSCRIBED TO WWE MOBILE PHONE ALERTS….

OR WATCH ECW ON SCI-FI….

The theme of this week is Idiots Who Lose Their Title Shots. And for those of you not in the know, after winning the Money In The Bank shot from Mr. Kennedy on Raw this week, Edge cashed it in on Smackdown Tuesday night and pinned The Undertaker to become the new World Heavyweight Champion.

Let's start with the least Idiotic of our Tri-Factor Idiocy (better grab the thesaurus now reader, I'm feeling saucy this week), The Rock. In 2000 The Rock entered the Royal Rumble at number 24 and went on to win the event, earning himself a title shot at the main event of Wrestlemania 2000 (not XVI, 2000). However, due to some considerable controversy over the finish of the match, with The Big Show able to prove that he in fact won the Rumble and not The Rock, the Great One agreed to put his Wrestlemania title shot up for grabs. First of all we have to consider what kind of immense Idiot would do something like that. The Rock was declared the winner of the Royal Rumble. No one was going to take that away, no one in management forced him to defend his Rumble shot against The Big Show. No, The Rock just decided that out of the goodness of his heart he'd give his enemy a chance to take away from him the main event of Wrestlemania.

However, this only reaches an Idiotic Factor of around 5.7. The Rock was the superhero good-guy, so he can be forgiven for doing what some may consider ‘the right thing' and giving The Big Show a second chance. Besides which this was the year 2000, The Rock was thigh-deep in title shots at this time. He couldn't leave the house without being named #1 Contender, and he managed to win his way back into the ‘Mania main event by beating The Big Show on Raw in March.

Next up on the list is Rey Mysterio (don't call him Junior). In 2006 Rey-Rey entered the Royal Rumble at number 2 and went on to win the event, earning himself a title shot at the main ev…well, obviously not the main event, he was from Smackdown. But certainly a match quite high up on the card. They promised him it'd be above the US belt. Anyway, Rey Mysterio was going to wrestle Kurt Angle for the World Heavyweight Championship at Mania 22 (not XX). That is, until Randy Orton came out and challenged Mysterio to put his Rumble shot on the line against him, taunting Rey by insulting the memory of the dearly missed Eddie Guerrero. Again, no one forced Rey to put his shot on the line, and unlike The Big Show in 2000, Orton had absolutely zero claim to that title shot, he was eliminated fair and square. Yet still Mysterio agreed to let Randy take a shot at his Mania title match, and at No Way Out '06, Orton beat Rey-Rey and got exactly what he wanted.

This has to rank high on the Idiotometer, I'd say around an 8.2. Yes Mysterio was goaded into putting his shot up for grabs, but he's not The Rock, he's Rey freakin' Mysterio! He's not even allowed to be in the same room as the World Heavyweight Title. He's spent his entire life in tag teams and the first time…the first freakin' time he gets a title shot at Wrestlemania…he decides to let someone else get a crack at it? For what? Eddie's memory? I'm pretty darn certain Eddie's memory would've told him to screw Orton! And unlike The Rock, Rey didn't win his title shot back. He cried. A lot. Then Teddy Long felt sorry for him.

[Side Note Of Idiocy - I'm not sure if you've ever noticed this before reader, but…Rey Mysterio is not a heavyweight. Which meant that for his entire title-reign they had to call the belt the World….Championship. Despite the great, big, black letters etched into it.]

Which brings us bang up to date with our latest Idiot, Mr. Kennedy. In 2007 at Wrestlemania 23 (not XXIII) Mr. Kennedy competed in Money In The Bank III (not 3), beating out the likes of Randy Orton, Edge, King Booker, CM Punk, King Booker, Matt Hardy and his little sister Jeff, to become Mr. Money In The Bank. For weeks speculation built as to when and where Mr. Kennedy would cash in his Money In The Bank title shot, with everyone recalling the successful title bids of the two previous winners. Mr. Kennedy himself would show up on Raw, Smackdown and ECW On Sci-Fi to let everyone know that at any moment he could cash in his briefcase for a shot at any of the three World Titles. This came to a head when at Backlash, though not scheduled to wrestle, Kennedy made several appearances backstage to taunt all champions with his presence. On March 30, live on Raw, Mr. Kennedy announced to the world that he would cash in his Money In The Bank contract at Wrestlemania 24 (not XXIV) and began counting down the days. Then Edge called him a coward so he lost his title shot.

Seriously.

I know the entire IWC worships at the sweaty groin of Mr. Kennedy, but he got himself bitched out on Raw by Edge. A sixty-second conversation in which Edge called Mr. Kennedy a coward led Kennedy to put his Money In The Bank contract on the line in a match. Then Edge beat the crap out of Kennedy before the match had even started. At this point referee Mike Chioda (I am all about the Chioda), realising how universally stupid it would be for Kennedy to go ahead with this match, told Kennedy that he didn't have to carry on and he could walk away at any time. So, of course, the injured Mr. Kennedy demanded that he ring the bell and start the contest. Not "Wait a few minutes, let me beat Edge down a little bit first, then you can start the match." I propose that Mr. Kennedy start employing The Chioda as his new manager.

This scores a big time 9.6 on the Pie-Chart Of Idiocy, and mainly for one reason. Are you ready reader?

Mr. Kennedy Is A Fucking Heel!

Rey Mysterio and The Rock get a little leeway because they're faces. They're supposed to be stupid! They're supposed to care about "doing the right thing" or defending someone's honour. Kennedy is a smart, cocky bad-guy! Someone calls him a chicken so he throws away the biggest advantage of his career? Jesus! At least Rey-Rey was goaded into his loss by the memory of a recently departed loved one. Kennedy got suckered in by being called a coward. I'm fairly certain he could get out-smarted by any ten-year old right about now. Has he never seen Back To The Future Parts I through III?! Does he not know the consequences of being so stupid?!

Kennedy had just had his ass handed to him by Matt Hardy the week before, what made him think he could take Edge, the guy who's made a career out of beating up Hardy? And to really cap off this Idiotic Loss, Kennedy can't even get his title shot back like our first two Idiots. Because Edge has already done what Kennedy now wishes he should have. Cashed it in.

You're An Idiot Because: If They Ask For Your Title Shot; Just Say No.

I'm going to go out on a limb with you now readers, and make a prediction. My prediction is the following – Edge is so freakin' smart, he won't ever be featured here as an Idiot. Hey, if I ever do make him one, call me on it. But seriously, that guy is like the Einstein Of Wrestling. WWE should put that on a t-shirt.

Before I go I want to make a shameless plug for FWRFed. It's the exclusive e-wrestling experience for today's busy professional e-fedder. Are you always on the go? Find it tough to juggle that business report with you career as The Masked SmackDaddy online? Can't seem to find time between the strip-clubs and piloting your own jet-plane to defend your Internet Wrestling Title? Then the FWRFed is the e-fed for you. The exclusive timetable is designed to allow the jet-setting roster the time they need to run their multinational corporations and score tons of pussy, as well as remaining an active member of e-wrestling world. Sign up today!