UFC 60: Hughes vs. Gracie Review
Posted by MSD on 05.30.2006
Full recap and thoughts of UFC 60!
We throw parties on big-ass boats, n****z wrap they paper
Ultrafied all-inclusive trips, Montego Jamaica
Front row seats at the Ultimate Fights - Shamrock and Severin
Long expensive flights, up there in the heavens E40 - "Rappers Ball"
9:30 pm EST start time. Shows opens with a lengthy Gracie/Hughes promo summarizing their feud. Seriously, I think it went on for over an hour. I was still outside on the porch catching that last plane ride to Elysian Fields, so I don't know for sure. But it's an hour warm-up on PPV time, which seems like a waste. Rehashed stock clips and canned interviews we've all seen before.
Finally, WWE-courted announcer Mike Goldberg, Fear Factor protagonist Joe Rogan and ex-UFC headbanger Randy Couture open up on commentary and promote the coming card. There are NO title fights scheduled for the evening, so even the Gracie/Hughes battle will receive typical three round treatment. Hollywood stars litter the Staples Center in LA and we'll see some of them pop up on camera during the evening.
Joe "Diesel" Riggs vs. Mike "Quick" Swick
The cocky Joe Riggs enters the arena to 50 Cent's "Many Men" but a silently confident Mike Swick counters with 2Pac's "Ambitionz of a Ridah". First match of the night and already the drunks around here are whipped into a frenzy by the ring entrances. I bet two shots Riggs takes this by KO in the 2nd round.
NICHOLAS CAGE!
Both assume their respective boxing stances, and a lengthy feeling out process ensues. Riggs swoops in with a roundhouse kick, but misses and eats a stiff body kick (loud "oooh" from the crowd like a Tajiri kick but real). Back to the dance, and it's evident both guys are hesitant to commit. Swick finally instigates a grapple and drives the beefier Riggs into the octagon walls. Riggs counters with an attempted sweep, which doesn't connect but the two fighters break and circle the center again. Riggs swings with some heavy hits but EATS a high kick to the head. Pissed off, he dives forward for a single leg takedown. But Swick telegraphs the move and nimbly clutches Riggs in a guillotine choke! He's got it cinched in tight! Riggs taps out! Mike "Quick" Swick by submission, 2:19 in the first round!
PARIS HILTON!
Post-match interview finds Swick dissing Riggs for all his shit talking while naming his finisher the "Swick-atine". He also excuses the long feeling out process in the beginning of the match, and accidentally says "shit" in his interview. That's PPV! Two shots of Kentucky bourbon for MSD.
JAMES CAAN!
DAVID SPADE!
"California Love" by Dre and Pac plays through the arena sound system during commercial break. More Tito Ortiz/Ken Shamrock Ultimate Fighter 3 hype. They'll finally square off on July 8th and MSD calls that "Must See Destruction".
Brandon "the Truth" Vera vs. Assuerio Silva - Heavyweight battle
The ridiculously-tattood Brazilian behemoth Assuerio Silva doesn't even speak English but comes to the ring with a West Side Connection song playing. First appearance of the night so far for legendary UFC referee Big John McCarthy.
THE WAYAN BROS!
The bald-headed Vera opens with some quick kicks, sizing up his opponent. More jabs and quick kicks, but Silva absorbs them and waits patiently for his opening. When he does respond, it's with heavy kicks that could probably crush your skull if they hit you. They both exchange blocked high kicks, and our crowd is loving the brute power of the heavyweights. They exchange jabs, but Assuerio Silva is just bigger with more reach. All the sudden, Silva pulls away from the fight with an aggravated scowl and begins petitioning the referee. What the? He's complaining about something. Replay shows he's complaining about a goddamn eye poke. Vera accidentally caught him with a slight thumb to the eye. C'mon, crowds everywhere boo that. Silva is whining Vera pulled a Ric Flair and did that shit on purpose.
At the 3:18 mark of the first round the fight restarts, and the angry Assuerio Silva drops Vera with a vicious leg kick before catching him in the mount. They scuffle, and Vera makes it back to his feet. But Assuerio Silva uses his brute strength to lift Brandon Vera up and absolutely SLAM him to the mat. But suddenly, the aggressive Brazilian Assuerio Silva is trapped in a guillotine choke! He taps out! 2nd guillotine submission of the evening! Crowd goes wild. Video replay shows the guillotine choke was already cinched in when Silva picked Vera up off the mat so it was more of a "collapse" on Silva's behalf rather than an actual body slam. Brandon "the Truth" Vera wins by submission in the first round, then gives a humorously cocky post match interview. One shot of Tanqueray for ya boy MSD, who is so grateful for not having money to blow on bets.
MICHAEL CLARKE DUNCAN!
Ultimate Fighter 3 promo promising a fight between the tattoo-parlor owning streetfighter Mike Nickels and deaf as a doorknob "Olympic-level" wrestling machine Matt Hamill. Joe Rogan interviews UFC president Dana White, who discusses Noah's recent dismissal on the show and hypes up the big event (June 24th). He also says they're already 1 week into filming Ultimate Fighter 4, and calls it "the Comeback". Speaking of the The Ultimate Fighter
Diego "Nightmare" Sanchez vs. John "the Natural" Alessio - Welterweight scrap Randy Couture has plenty to say about John AlessioSanchez is the Welterweight winner of The Ultimate Fighter 1 and boasts a flawless 16-0 pro record.
CINDY CRAWFORD!
THE ROCK!
Right out the gate Sanchez shoots for a double-leg takedown but Alessio avoids it. This will be the recurring theme of the fight. Let's count how many times Sanchez shoots for a takedown and fails. Let's just call it "FTD" for "failed take-down". They keep sizing each other up, with a long stall period making the crowd get antsy. Even the ref has to step up and tell these kids to do something. Sanchez becomes the aggressor, muscling "The Natural" into the cage. They grapple briefly, with Sanchez using a few spins to gain leverage but he STILL can't force Alessio to the mat. They break. FTD, but Alessio just pushes him off. Another FTD. Into the cage they go again, then another break. Sanchez tries a flying knee, and now they're just dukin it out. Round 1 ends.
Round two begins with another Sanchez FTD, but he eats a hard punch on this one. Sanchez is on the ground, Alessio pins him down but then lets him up in preparation for another big punch, but this one misses. They grapple and "the Natural" John Alessio tries to end it with a guillotine, but Sanchez slips out and they square off again. Alessio fires away with a vicious jab that swells up "The Nightmare's" face. Sanchez can't box with him, so he reverts to his original game plan. FTD. FTD. Both fighters still cautious. Sanchez with another FTD. He simply cannot score a takedown, but "The Natural" is not capitalizing. I got drunk muthaphuckkers screaming "follow-up! Why don't you fuckin follow-up?!?!" at the TV screen. As the last few moments of the 2nd round dwindle away, Sanchez shoots with another feeble FTD and that's it. Sanchez is busted open hard above the eye.
Round three and AGAIN Sanchez throws a FTD. They exchange a few punches, but Alessio is a better striker and connects with a high kick. So what does "The Nightmare" retaliate with? Another FTD. He just can't get Alessio off his feet. But "The Natural" still isn't following up and the crowd is getting anxious. Action! Sanchez streaks in with another flying knee attempt, and winds up on Alessio's back like a little monkey. But Alessio STILL won't go down! They're both fighting for position, Sanchez riding piggy back and Alessio standing fully erect. For the rest of the fight Sanchez rides his back, close to two minutes the longest I've ever seen something like that. Alessio even calmly strolls over to his own corner to solicit advice, all the while the spindly "Nightmare" is clinging onto his back. Alessio is trying to work an armlock or something, but Sanchez rains down a flurry of blows upon the back of his skull to end the last round. When the ref breaks the clutch, both fighters throw their hands up like they won it but the crowd sees neither as such. Match goes to judges decision, and Diego "Nightmare" Sanchez wins it by unanimous decision. HUGE BOOS! It's so loud, Joe Rogan has to acknowledge them during the post match interview. Crowd shots show everybody giving the thumbs down and booing lustily, but it's for both fighters not just the winner. Lame fight. Sanchez tries to regain some brownie points by dedicating his victory "to all the lost soldiers".
ATREYU! (some band)
TITO ORTIZ talking to THE ROCK!
Allesio Sakara vs. Dean "the Boogey Man" Lister Sakara is an Italian boxer, Lister is one of the assistant coaches for Team Ortiz on The Ultimate Fighter 3, and this will be his official UFC debut. The fight starts with a boxing contest, before Dean Lister shoots for the takedown and winds up in the guard. They grapple briefly on the mat, before Lister locks in a triangle and Sakara taps out. Dean "the Boogey Man" Lister by submission with 2:41 seconds left in the 1st round.
Finally, the main event is upon us. More prematch hype. Did you know Royce Gracie recently submitted Akebono in Japan? Yeah, the same 483-pound Japanese guy that threw the Big Show around during their Wrestlemania sumo match a few years back. He did it with a wristlock and only needed 2 minutes and 33 seconds. UFC cameras make their way through the star-studded LA audience to ask various celebrities their opinions on the main event. Who's gonna win the big Matt Hughes/Royce Gracie showdown? The legendary UFC Hall-of-Famer Royce Gracie? Or the "most dominant welterweight in UFC history" Matt Hughes? Take a gander around the arena and find out, while I step outside for another blunt break.
Gary Goodrich - Royce Gracie The Rock - Matt Hughes Everlast - Royce Gracie Paul Walker - Royce Gracie Jason Lambert - Matt Hughes Marlon Wayons - Royce Gracie "Iceman" Chuck Liddell - Matt Hughes
Huge light show, with epic-level triumphant music blasting through the sound system. The legendary Royce Gracie makes his way backstage and through the curtain. Crowd explodes as he arrives. His face is grim with determination, although somebody in the room said he looked like a "dead man walking". Matt Hughes enters last and gets similar main-event treatment. This is the real deal, folks. Mike Goldberg calls this "a night that will live forever".
Nobody but Big John McCarthy could handle a match of this magnitude, so he's back to referee. Crowd is whipped into a frenzy. LET'S GET IT ON! Gracie faces off, and keeps Hughes at bay with some jabs and a few low kicks. Gracie is longer with more reach, but Hughes has the obvious strength advantage. Hughes retaliates with a heavy south paw and a leg kick of his own. Dueling kicks and we're all going crazy. Matt is trying to advance, but Royce is keeping him from grappling distance. But suddenly Matt Hughes springs forth with an AJ Styles-type flying blow called "the Superman punch" and ties up Gracie in the octagon cage.
They grapple all the way back to the center of the ring, where they exchange knees and Hughes powers him down to the mat, gaining solid side control. Royce is on the bottom, but showing remarkable flexibility. The two pros jockey for position, and this match has moved to the mat something Paul Walker (the Fast & Furious guy) really wanted to see. Hughes is trying to maintain his grip as Gracie struggles to his stomach. Gracie twists himself into knots and manages to snag Hughes in a guillotine choke! But it's short-lived, and with the crowd absolutely ripped, Matt Hughes unravels the maneuver and retaliates with a vicious arm-lock! It's gotta be over! The crowd is roaring, and the announcers are incredulous. Even Joe Rogan is all exclamation points over the attempted submission. But Gracie's stoic poker face never wavers, and he looks like he's channeling a David Blaine-like level of concentration. He bides his time, and slips out of the arm lock into a guard. But the stocky Matt Hughes regains side control.
Royce jockeys for position from the bottom, but Matt Hughes maneuvers himself onto Gracies back and now the UFC legend is in trouble! Hughes' first instinct is to go for a choke, but Gracies' jiu-jitsu mastery prevents this. With the crowd cheering him on, Hughes unleashes a barrage of unrestrained blows to the back of Gracies neck and skull. The blows continue to rain down unabated, and with 22 seconds left in the 1st round John McCarthy calls the finish! The match is over! Matt Hughes defeats Royce Gracie by TKO with a vicious ground-n-pound assault with only 22 seconds left in the 1st round! Unbelievable! The place explodes!
I'm drunk and saddened by the loss, while all the Matt Hughes-lovers are reveling in their victory. Matt gives Royce his props in the post match interview, but the new generation is here to stay. Great, great fight but I was disappointed in the outcome. What can I say? I'm old school.
With the fight ending early, and about 1 hour left in the PPV broadcast, they reshow a few of the un-televised preliminary bouts from earlier in the evening.
Spencer "the King" Fisher makes the highlight reel with a VICIOUS flying knee knockout of "Handsome" Matt Wiman in a lightweight battle.
Ultimate Fighter 2 standout Melvin "Young Assassin" Guillard continues the murderous mixtape massacre with his Rick Ross "Everyday I'm Hustlin" entrance and brutal deathblow to 4th grade teacher Rick Davis. I mean seriously Guillard hit Ross with a right-hand so violent it made his unconscious body bounce face first off the mat like a corpse.
There was another fight or two after this, but who really cares. The PPV title says it all "Hughes VS. Gracie". And that was what we all came to see. Shortly after the match, you could see the Staples Center empting out while I was stuck with a house full of amped up drunkards. The Hughes supporters (which I admit were numerous) couldn't possibly gloat anymore than they did that night. I just can't believe Gracie got sonned that bad. I felt kinda jilted cuz John McCarthy should have let the fight continue for another measly 22 seconds just long enough to end the 1st round and get the chess game started again. But allegedly Gracie could no longer "intelligently defend himself" so the TKO was necessary. UFC 1 was a long time ago. This is UFC 60, and tonight it was all about Matt Hughes. He's the state of the art. This is your boy MadStepDad signing off with another enriching PPV recap at everybody's favorite pop culture website 411Mania. Peace!
