wrestling / Columns
Schmozzes & Screwjobs 05.15.07: Edge Screws Cena Part III of V
What a week we’ve had in the world of wrestling over the last 7 days. Last week I wrote something like “327 days til Kennedy cashes in” and later that same day, it was Edge who cashed in Money in the Bank to become the new World Heavyweight Champion. TNA also had a pay-per-view Sunday night which I have yet to see, but most reports are saying it was a decent show. All that being said, welcome to another edition of Schmozzes & Screwjobs where today we have the third instalment of our look at the Rated R Superstar Edge screwing over John Cena for the WWE Championship. Also in store is my detailed explanation of why Matt Hardy can and should be World Champion. All that and much more so keep readin’!
Curtain Jerkin’
-I know that last week I promised my thoughts on John Cena’s action movie The Marine, but it’s been a long week and I haven’t had time to watch it yet. Still, maybe next week.
-Edge’s World title win and subsequent move to the Blue Brand opens up a whole lot of new scenarios for potential feuds for the Rated R Champion. Sure, right now it seems that the only real challenger Edge has is The Animal Batista, but within the next couple of months, Booker T (hopefully sans the King gimmick) will be back, as will Rey Mysterio and of course Mr Kennedy is now only going to be out of action for two months maximum. At let’s not forget that Edge has unfinished business with a certain Matt Hardy (more on him next week). So in the short space of a week, SmackDown has gone from looking down and out, to being fresh and full of potential again. But where does all of this leave Raw? For starters, no pay-per-view blow off for the Edge/Orton feud which sucks ass, because they had that one great match and Raw and I wanted to see them do it again on a bigger stage. This might however, be a good opportunity for the young Legend Killer. If Orton can fill the niche that Edge made then maybe there is hope for him yet, even though Orton isn’t as great a heel as Edge is.
Triple Threat Match for the WWE Championship: Rob Van Dam vs. Edge vs. John Cena
July 3 2006, Monday Night Raw!
Background Information: As we saw last week, Rob Van Dam had become the WWE Champion at One Night Stand 2006 thanks to interference from John Cena’s rival Edge. Heading into Vengeance, Edge was the #1 contender to Van Dam’s WWE Championship, while Cena’s war with ECW was to come to a head as he met the Suicidal, Homicidal, Genecidal, Death-defying Sabu in an Extreme Lumberjack match. While the Vengeance pay-per-view was highlighted by DX’s reunion match against the Spirit Squad, the title match in particular carried huge importance as it may well have been the last chance a Raw Superstar had of bringing the title back to Raw from ECW. Vengeance would also be Cena’s last chance to extract revenge on ECW for the way that he was treated at One Night Stand.
Things all came to a head on June 25, 2006 at the Charlotte Bobcats Arena in North Carolina where Vengeance was held. In the first ECW vs. WWE match of the evening, Randy Orton was looking to avenge his One Night Stand loss against Kurt Angle. Angle had forced Orton to submit to the Ankle Lock at ONS so Orton spent most of the match trying to avoid getting caught in Angle’s deadly hold. Towards the end of the match however, Angle did lock in the submission but Orton rolled through sending Angle head-first into a top turnbuckle that Orton had exposed earlier in the match. The Legend Killer then connected with his patented RKO for the victory. WWE lead ECW 1-0 on the night.
The next match was the bout between Rob Van Dam and Edge for the WWE Championship (Van Dam’s ECW Championship was not on the line). The pair had a tremendous match and it looked like RVD’s title reign was in jeopardy when Edge powerbombed Van Dam onto the guard rail and again on the floor off the ring apron. Van Dam was resilient and fought back time and time again. When the referee accidentally gets knocked out, Edge takes advantage and grabs the WWE title belt, but Van Dam is alert and promptly hits the Van Daminator right back in Edge’s face. Van Dam ascends the turnbuckle but was crotched by Lita. Lita then grabs a chair, setting Edge up to Spear Van Dam into, but Van Dam avoids contact and Edge eats the steel. Van Dam retains the title after hitting a Five Star Frog Splash! ECW were now level but no matter what, ECW had won the one that mattered most, the WWE Championship match.
John Cena and Sabu met later in the night with Superstars from Raw and Extremists from ECW surrounding the ringside are. It didn’t take long for the match to break down into chaos as both competitors left the ring to brawl with the lumberjacks and the lumberjacks even brawled with each other. Cena received some wicked chair shots from Sabu and was even set up to take a triple jump splash through a table, but with a little help from Raw’s lumberjacks, Cena managed to nail Sabu with a Singapore cane and FU Sabu from the ring to the floor and through the table. After Cena rolled Sabu back into the ring and locked in the STFU, Cena was victorious as Sabu tapped. But Cena would not feel like he had won his war with ECW until he was once again the ECW Champion.
A mere week later and Rob Van Dam’s reign as WWE (and ECW) Champion would go up in smoke. Not because of a bad booking decision or even an injury. It was because Van Dam and Sabu were stupid even to get caught speeding. Now hold on a minute, wasn’t it because Van Dam got busted doing pot? Come on, the world and it’s sister know that Rob Van Dam amongst others smoke pot on a fairly regular basis, the stupid thing was going over the speed limit with all the gear in the car. Here are the official facts of the incident. Van Dam and fellow ECW Extremist Sabu were stopped by police on Route 52 in Hanging Rock, Ohio for speeding. The police discovered Van Dam to be in posession of eighteen grams of marijauna five vicodin pills, while Sabu was in possession of drug paraphernalia and nine tablets of Testolactone. Both Van Dam and Sabu were released after posting bail, and were scheduled to appear in Ironton Municipal Court on July 6, 2006. On August 31, 2006, Van Dam and Sabu appeared in court. Van Dam pleaded guilty to possessing marijuana and was fined $140, while Sabu was fined $500.
Nearly a year after this happened, it still sounds as stupid as fuck. So what was WWE to do? One thing was for sure, and that’s that WWE did not want their WWE and ECW Championship represented by a pothead by law. The decision was made to take the WWE Championship off of Van Dam the next night. And we have arrived at our screwjob.
How It Went Down: The match was originally supposed to be a triple threat tag team match, with Edge, Cena and Van Dam each chosing a partner but after the news of Van Dam’s drug bust, plans changed. Instead the match was made into a triple threat match for the WWE Championship that very night on Raw!
And here is 411’s live report from the match.
Good thing Rob saved that spinner title. Edge tries to get Cena and Van Dam to fight each other, but they take turns jumping him instead. They toss him and play to the crowd as we go to break. When we come back, Cena tosses Edge into the stairs, and then Van Dam flies out onto Cena. Back in, Cena catches Van Dam in the FU, but he shimmies out. They do a weird sort of Power & Glory-type move where Cena lifts Edge up in a suplex and Van Dam comes off the top with a crossbody. Van Dam wins a 3-way slugfest but gets thrown to the floor. Cena hits Edge with the 5-Knuckle Shuffle and gives Edge an FU to the floor. Lita tries to interfere but takes an FU as well. Van Dam returns with the Van Daminator to Cena. The Five-Star Frogsplash misses, though. FU! Oh, but Edge runs in with a belt shot to Cena and covers RVD for the win and the title at 11:18.
The Fallout: So due to Van Dam’s stupidity he lost the greatest chance of his career. And the next night on ECW on Sci-Fi he lost the ECW title to the Big Show and was promptly suspended for 30 days by the WWE. Meanwhile, Cena and Edge’s war raged on as we will see next week.
The Schmozz Count
Raw – 1, John Cena vs. Randy
ECW – None
Impact – None
SmackDown – None
Sacrifice – None
Raw spoilt a near perfect party this week.
The Schmozz Count: 51 + 1 = 52!
Half Time
And now for some plugs;
Hidden Highlights
The Top Ten (in which I take over this week)
Fink’s Payload
Wrestler of the Week
The Independent Mid-card
Your News, Larry’s Views
The Shimmy
WWE vs. TNA
Friendly Competition
The 3 R’s
Truth B Told
And the rest.
False Finishes and Fan Cams
So last week I started my detailed look at the current status of TNA and was planning to do the second part this week but had some problems. I had it all typed out on a separate document which for some unknown reason, I am currently now unable to open on my computer which obviously poses some problems. But lucky for you guys, I have a back up plan, and that’s just to give you next weeks false finish, this week! Sound like a plan? Good, let’s go.
Matt Hardy Can Be World Champion!
With Edge’s recent move to SmackDown and subsequent World Heavyweight Championship victory, many people both inside and out of the WWE have speculated if Matt Hardy, Edge’s former friend turned rival, will get a title opportunity, which if it did happen, I believe would be his first ever. Many people in the IWC particularly, have said that he could have a brief feud with Edge resulting in one WWE pay-per-view match, but no way in hell will he ever be a world champion. Well I am here to disagree. Matt Hardy can be World champion, and here’s why.
As far as I am concerned, to be qualified to hold a World Championship, particularly in WWE you need several qualifications. One of the most important things is a moveset. I’m not saying you have to be as gifted as a Bret Hart or a Kurt Angle, but you need a set of moves that everybody recognises, looks effective and gets popped. Batista has the Spear, the powerslam, the spinebuster and the Batista Bomb amongst others. John Cena has the spin-out powerbomb, the Five Knuckle Shuffle, the Throwback, the FU and the STFU. Vince McMahon has jack shit, but he’s an exception because he’s now Dr. Vince McMahon. Matt Hardy has a recognisable moveset. Hardy has the Side Effect, a move which is not unlike the Rock Bottom, but swankier. He has the familiar second rope leg drop which always looks cool. He has the corner clothesline/bulldog combo which although isn’t going to be putting anybody away any time soon is a great transition move and can be use to start building a comeback. Then of course there is his finisher, the Twist of Fate. This is a finisher which has a familiar name, looks good and is damn effective as it works the head, face, neck and sternum, much like an RKO.
Another important factor is popularity and the ability to shift merchandise. There is no-one out there who can dispute the Matt Hardy has been one of the most popular superstars in the WWE for the past two years since he returned in 2005. He out-pops most of his co-workers on SmackDown including the likes of Chris Benoit and Kane. On occasion, Matt Hardy has out-popped former ECW World Champion Bobby Lashley who, as we all know, is the latest to get the superman push. Matt, as part of the Hardys has always been able to sell some merch which may be the sole reason John Cena was first crowned WWE Champion. Hardy can take advantage of his tag team status and a main event push would surely result in him shifting more of his own merchandise. Of course a renewed feud with the Rated R Superstar would only increase his popularity even more because Edge is undoubtedly the best heel currently in the WWE, maybe even the entire wrestling world.
So far we have established Matt Hardy is popular and owns a good enough moveset to be a World champion. Many of the great champions of the past have been awesome sellers. Shawn Michaels, Steve Austin, The Rock, Triple H and even John Cena to name a few, are all tremendous sellers and that helps them and their opponents. That’s why matches between combinations of those guys have nearly always resulted in tremendous matches. I think Matt Hardy is one of the best sellers on the current WWE roster, especially when selling a particular limb such as an arm or a leg. Case in point, let me take you back to February and a match between Matt Hardy and Joey Mercury. Mercury had been working the arm the entire match and Hardy had been selling it brilliantly as always. When Hardy made his comeback, he whipped Joey into the corner and was going for his clothesline/bulldog combination move. Now normally when Matt does this, he switches arms – hits the clothesline with the right and then the bulldog with the left. Not this time. To sell the arm, instead of switching arms, he repositioned his body so he could do both the clothesline and the bulldog with the same arm. How many people would think of doing that? I was going to send that one in to the guys over at Hidden Highlights but forgot. I do recall a particular HH from the same match about Hardy doing the Twist of Fate with one arm as well, but mine was better. Still, it’s another example of how good Matt Hardy is.
Another important factor in mediocre superstars becoming world champions is feuds. Hardy has had several tremendous feuds over the years in tag teams, but not so many as a singles competitor. He had the brief run against Kane which of course resulted in Kane marrying Lita, but that was not nearly memorable enough. The one that really stands out is his feud with Edge in 2005.Not only did this produce great matches, but it had a real sense of drama because it was real. That’s what makes this feud different from just about any other feud in recent memory. And because Edge is now the champion a rekindled feud would be huge for Hardy and give him the extra step he needs to be a legit champion.
The final critical talent needed is the charisma. Matt Hardy is by no stretch of the imagination a great talker, but he is good. Take a look at when he was a heel and going through the Mattitude thing. There were some good promos in there. And again with the Edge feud – some really intense promos there, too. And let’s face it, Batista and Bobby Lashley were champions for a long time, and Matt Hardy is miles better than both of those guys.
Let’s face it, Matt Hardy has all the tools needed to be World champion, and with Batista out of favour, Kennedy and Taker on the shelf, Matt Hardy is going to get pushed and I’m making the prediction now. Matt Hardy will win the World Heavyweight Championship this year.
Reader Feedback
Due to lack of time and energy, no reader feedback this week so that means we’ll have a triple section next week; last weeks feedback, this weeks (assuming I get some) and feedback from The Top 10 which I covered today. To those who wrote in over the last week, I shall respond to your emails later this week.
Taking It Home
And that does it for another week of S&S. Next week, part 4 of 5 of the Edge screws Cena series, more on TNA and a bunch of other great stuff worth coming back for. See y’all next week!
