The Thursday Small-For-All News Report: 05.17.07
Posted by Jeff Small on 05.17.2007
Only Three More Days Until the Reign of Khali!!!
A funny thing happened to me when I got home from work today. In between my 100 emails of porn (because SPAM jokes are still relevant) was an email from my lackey Daniel Wilcox. Really anything he wrote in the email didn't matter (you hear that lackey) as all I could read was the subject: "Judgment Day PPV Simulation." To which I responded, "Shit, that's this weekend?" Throw in the fact that last night the WWE was in Baltimore and I had no idea until the spoilers came in. I must say, I'm such an awesome wrestling fan.
But what I'm not absent with is today's sparkling edition of the #1 Thursday News Report right here at 411Mania!!! Join me as I at least make one Afroman joke (because he's still relevant) about Sabu's firing, start rumors of a new Dungeon of Doom stable for the Raw program, and overlook anything that has happened this week in TNA. So I guess it is business as usual for me!
With that said, let's get it shawty!!!
WWE: Injury Free Since Last Week!
The Homicidal, Genocidal, Suicidal, Unemployed Sabu!!!
This past Tuesday, the WWE released two more superstars into the potential hands of TNA. Those two unlucky wrestlers were Vito and Sabu. Both men were very similar in many regards: four letter names, big pushes when they debuted, both wear dresses (oh that should get me into some shit), and of course, both were never going to be world champion. The difference between them were that Sabu was an actual household name (thanks to those rapscalians in ECW) while Vito was just a man wearing a thong. Not that impressive, if you ask me.
And since I've already spent way too much time talking about Vito, let's take a minute to discuss the end of Sabu's one-year reign in the WWE. It's funny to think that one year ago, the only newsworthy pieces in the WWE came from the impending return of ECW. Now, that ECW image that everyone wanted one year ago is on its death sentence and will be put out to sleep once RVD's contract expires. Sabu was the second most important person on the ECW roster (some might say Sandman. They would be wrong) and it's a shame to see his WWE tenure go up in smoke (ha, I kill myself).
According to various sources including PWInsider, there were plenty of reasons that Sabu was let go. From the PWI, "Sabu has had a long history of behavioral problems backstage in WWE which lead some observers to believe that he really did not enjoy working for the company. Prior to his firing yesterday, he had in fact failed a wellness test and rather than being suspended he was punished by having to wrestle without pay and only put other people over.
There was also an incident at the airport en route to the ECW tapings where Sabu was detained by airport security after they checked his luggage. He was not very happy about them searching his luggage and caused a big scene at the airport, which delayed his arrival to the tapings by several hours.
When he finally arrived at the ECW tapings he was instructed that he would go out and put over Kevin Thorne. Sabu claimed he couldn't do it due to a neck injury that had been bothering him over the weekend. This was the last straw for WWE and they made the decision to release him right there."
Good for the Double Double E. If Sabu doesn't want to be there, then let him go. He already left TNA for the WWE so I'm not really sure how much they want him back (I don't recall him leaving on THAT great of terms) and more importantly, does TNA need another ex-WWE superstar? I really don't think so especially since the company is waiting on RVD to sign (though a RVD/Sabu vs. Team 3D feud would be a positive).
Summerslam Couldn't Come Early Enough for Edge
According to the Wrestling Observer, " Getting Edge, the company's consensus MVP of 2006, was considered a major coup for the Smackdown side. At Raw, the description of him when he found out about the decision was that he was "ear-to-ear smiling" about his run as world champion as well as keeping him away from a program that could have hurt him.
HHH put a nix on the idea of it being Edge (to win the title), and there was a strong feeling this was the wrong time to put the title on Orton, both for the feeling he doesn't deserve it and because it would send a horrible message. The plans were for HHH to work with both Edge and Orton for his return, which had been changed away from that, and in recent weeks, was changed back again."
In addition, Edge was quite happy that he now gets to fuck Matt Hardy's current girlfriend. In all seriousness, it saddens me that HHH has to always squander the push of those with better blond hair. He did it to Jericho during his ultimate "Beautiful Day" return in 2002 and now he wanted to do it to Edge. And wasn't Edge and Orton already looking like idiots against DX in the fall?
Everybody Ready for a Monster Mash?
According to our very own website, "WWE is tentatively planning to have Snitsky come over to RAW and challenge John Cena for the WWE Title. This is why WWE has been airing his promos on RAW."
Of course, this explains why the same Snitsky promo is featured on Smackdown. If the rumors are true, then a) sucks for Khali b) Vince lied again (see the next story) and c) it's going to be a rough summer. Lastly, with Snitsky, Umaga, and the Great Khali on Raw, we shall be having a Dungeon of Doom 2K7 with Umaga bringing the workrate of course. And like their old-school counterparts, the Dungeon will again be unable to conquer the two greatest forces on the Raw roster: John Cena and of course Triple H.
Vinnie Mac Speaks!!!
From my beloved employer, here are the highlights of a recent conference call with Vince McMahon:
Said that WWE had a good year but that he wasn't satisfied and never will be.
I'm glad Vince admitted that 2006 wasn't a great year. I wonder what his honest opinion of 2002 is.
He really blasted Lionsgate for how they marketed The Condemned, basically blaming them for the film's lack of success. He went as far as to say that they "sabatoged" the film.
And to think, I believed that Vince was going to be honest during this entire interview. Here's the facts kids: it's really fucking difficult to have a hit thriller movie. See No Evil did well because horror movies do well no matter what time of year it is. The Marine did well on DVD because action movies that are overlooked in the theaters tend to be watched in a cheaper format. But thriller/action movies are really tough to do well these days. Nicholas Cage's most recent movie Next did just as bad and his awful Wicker Man didn't do that much better. And yes I just wanted to point out how awful The Wicker Man was. Please kids, watch this YouTube video and learn how not to make a serious movie.
He talked about WWE expanding into MMA, saying that they considered it but have decided against it. He said that MMA is everywhere it can be right now and that it will burn out soon. He said that MMA has no major stars and that it is difficult to invest in a fighter because all that investment can be undone if he loses or gets knocked out.
I understand McMahon's reasoning behind his reluctance to get into MMA (which is a good thing) but the success of the Tito Ortiz/Ken Shamrock matches prove otherwise.
Said that he doesn't think having so many titles dilutes them. He said that having as many title matches on a PPV as possible gives the consumer a good value and that is needed with the increased PPV prices.
Again, I understand his logic but the WWE raised PPV prices over a year ago. Decreased buyrates have forced them into a title-heavy tri-branded PPV lineup (which worked well for Backlash) not the other way around.
He said that if your last name is McMahon or Levesque, you have a good chance at succeeding him.
Oh no.
Said that WWE has tested high definition and will be going to it within the next year.
Excellent. I wonder how much uglier Snitsky is in high definition. Plus, maybe we will be able to see some wrinkles on Torrie Wilson. She's quite old now kids.
Said that WWE is trying to get back to the fundamentals inside the ring and that the in-ring product will be a place of big improvement over the next year.
Again, a good idea but when the main event scene of Raw is the Dungeon of Doom 2K7, the in-ring product won't be improving at all. Unless Snitsky ate Flair's brains.
Said that the ECW brand has not met his expectations. Said that TNA can succeed as a "niche product" but added that their biggest mistake would be to try and compete with WWE.
Unless they go up against ECW. Or is TNA way way below Vince's expectations.
Anyway, the entire interview is quite interesting to read considering there are not many times when Vince "opens up."
The Death of Women's Wrestling
According to the Wrestling Observer, "There is some concern within WWE that the improvements of the women's division could be coming to an end with their main coach, Steve Keirn being removed from the road to start his new developmental territory in Tampa, Florida."
When Finlay left to become a permanent member on the Smackdown roster, Keirn took over his coaching duties. During this time, Candice became a competent wrestler and we were treated with some damn good Trish Stratus/Mickie James matches. Without Keirn, I wonder who will continue to help grow the women's brand.
The WWE will definitely need a good teacher for the Divas if they are going to treat them as classier entities in the company. *This Just In* Vince changed his mind and the WWE Divas will stay as slutty as ever. Good!
Look! The WWE Writers are Smarter than You Think!
Last week on Smackdown, Teddy Long offered the New Godwinns 2007 a chance to make an impression this week in Baltimore. And of course, did the hillbillys arrive in Baltimore for the tapings? Nope. I guess leaving West Virginia is harder than I expected.
TNA NEWZ
TNA: Stripped of their titles but not of their pride!
The big news in TNA World this week is that the NWA has officially ended their relationship with TNA (after first saying so back in February). The NWA was mad that TNA was using their Championship and Tag Team belts without ever defending the titles at NWA events. So with this divorce, the NWA wins custody of the NWA and NWA Tag Team titles every week and every other weekend. In addition, the NWA will have a tournament to crown a new champion (rumored to be Bryan Danielson). On the other hand, TNA will now re-name their titles and go about on their business.
As for how the new titles look, here are a couple nice pictures:
Yes, Team 3D have won another championship!
Apollo Creed, he ain't.
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT… WWE JUDGMENT DAY 2007 SIMULATION
And to cover this Sunday's PPV, here's my lackey (and man of tens of columns) Daniel Wilcox.
Warning: This is the first time that I have done the Simulator while drunk, so some of the funny stuff may be unfunny, and some of the comments may be downright offensive.
Hello everybody and welcome back to the SmackDown vs. Raw 2007 Simulator. This week we simulate WWE's Judgment Day headlined by new World Heavyweight Champion Edge taking on The Animal Batista, and The Great Khali challenging John Cena for the WWE Championship. Can Khali really walk out the WWE Champion? There's only one way to find out!
This would be the rematch from last month's Backlash pay-per-view. Umaga starts the match for Vince's team. Lashley with a double-hand thrust knocking down Umaga early. Lashley with kicks to the fallen Umaga but he avoids one and comes back with a right hand. Side headlock applied by Lashley into a take over. Both men up but Lashley is quicker and hits a clothesline. Lashley takes Umaga into the corner but charges into a back elbow. Back suplex from Umaga. The Samoan Bulldozer goes to the second rope and connects with a splash. Umaga tags in the ECW Champion who comes at Lashley with some stinging jabs but quickly gets caught by a belly-to-belly throw! Big clothesline from Lashley who goes for a cover but it's broken up by Umaga and Shane. Shane nails a nice DDT and Umaga gets another big splash. The referee regains control as McMahon Sr. goes up to the top rope and comes off with an elbow drop, but Lashley buries the knees into the guy of McMahon! Vince tags out to his son Shane who comes in and eats a big spear! Lashley scoops Shane up and tosses him over the top rope and to the floor. Lashley goes to the floor and Umaga meets him with a heel kick! Vince is over now too and charges at Lashley who counters into a hip toss. Shane is back up and low blows the challenger. Back in and Shane tags Vince. Vince gets a scoop slam and goes for the pin but Lashley kicks out. Vince applies a bow and arrow but Lashley fights out and comes back with a back body drop. Lashley locks in an arm bar but Shane comes in and attacks the challenger. Umaga in now too but he gets caught with a drop toehold. Shane hits a short arm clothesline. Vince tags in Umaga who immediately starts pounding away on Lashley. BUTTALANCHE! Lashley is just about dead but he kicks out at 2. He fights back with a backhand chop and a hip toss. Spine buster by Lashley! Cover, one…two…thr-NO! Shane breaks it up! Lashley scoops Shane up, Dominator! Vince now gets tossed over the top rope. Samoan Spike! One…Two…Rope break! Umaga drags Lashley to the centre of the ring but he kicks Umaga away and charges. Spear! One…two…thr-NO! Both men up but Umaga gets a super kick to the face. Shane tags in now. Shane O Mac up top, flying elbow drop! Shane covers and gets the pin @ 9:00!
Winners: Vince, Shane and Umaga
Match Analysis: That was certainly better than last month, possibly because I have raised Lashley's stats on the game in accordance to the push he is getting. There was a ton of action in this match that made it fun to watch. Hopefully it will be kept this short on Sunday so it has a chance of being decent. **½
SvR Prediction: Team McMahon
My Prediction: Team McMahon by DQ
Elijah Burke w/ Matt Striker vs. CM Punk
Elbow tie-up to start, quickly into a headlock takeover by Burke. Punk comes back with a knee to the gut and a swank standing dropkick. Elijah comes back with a thumb to the eye and an inside cradle gets 2. Punk comes back with a clothesline but Burke quickly gets back up, only to get knocked down again with a leg lariat. Punk gets a deep arm drag. And another. Burke bails out of the ring to avoid a leg drop. Punk follows by diving through the ropes but doesn't connect with Burke. Elijah whips Punk face first into the ring post and then rams his head off of it. Back in and Burke applies a chin lock but Punk is in the ropes. Both men back up as Elijah misses a roundhouse kick. Small package by Punk gets 2. Stiff clothesline by Punk. Punk is now dominating as he locks in a surfboard submission on Burke but can't force the submission. Punk drags Elijah back to his feet and launches him shoulder first into the ring post. Punk whips Burke but gets caught with a sunset flip for a 2 count. Punk fights back with jabs and slaps and Burke goes down. Spike piledriver by Punk! Elijah is dead. Punk goes for a cover but Burke is playing possum and gets 3 off a small package @ 4:32!
Winner: Elijah Burke
Match Analysis: Too short to be any good but it had potential so that's positive and for what there was it was decent. *½
SvR Prediction: Elijah Burke
My Prediction: CM Punk
This is the closet thing to a 2/3 Falls Match on the game. Explosive start as MVP swings, misses, and gets drilled with 3 German suplexes! Benoit with stomps to the fallen challenger who rolls away and comes back with a clothesline but again misses and gets caught in a backslide for just 1. MVP with a knee to the gut and catches a swinging neck breaker. The challenger puts the boots to Benoit and drops an elbow. Benoit back up and fires off with stinging chops. And some more. Dropkick to the knee by MVP, and now he tosses Benoit under the bottom rope and to the floor. MVP springboards and flies off with a SHOOTING STAR PRESS! Holy shit! It connects as well. MVP throws the Wolverine into the guard rail and continues the beat down. Back in and the challenger works the leg that he started on earlier. Step over toehold by MVP but Benoit is by the ropes. MVP throws Benoit into the corner and comes at him with three shoulder rams. Front facelock by Porter, hooks the tights and delivers a big delayed vertical suplex. MVP poses to heat. Porter now goes to the top rope but wasted to much time and gets crotched by Benoit. Northern Lights by Benoit into a cover for a near 2 count. Benoit goes for the Crossface but MVP rolls through it. Super kick by MVP. Cover gets a 2 count. MVP now with a slam and he goes up to the top rope. SHOOTING STAR PRESS! No – Benoit got the knees up. Release German by Benoit! Another German, hands are clasped, Benoit drills MVP with two more! The Wolverine to the top rope. Swandive Headbutt! This time MVP gets the knees up! We are at the 10 minute mark and it's 0-0. MVP hits a flatliner that gets a 2 count. Porter now tries something different and locks in the Figure 4 Leg Lock (I don't know why I added that to his moveset, but it follows the pattern of working the leg so I'm happy). Benoit fights and eventually MVP releases the hold. Benoit comes back with chops, takedown, SHARPSHOOTER! MVP is close to the ropes but he submits! Benoit leads 1-0 @ 11:52!
MVP rolls out of the ring and Benoit connects with a SUICIDE DIVE! German suplex on the floor! Benoit rolls MVP back in but the challenger gets back on top with a spinning heel kick. MVP in the mount position and wails away on Benoit. MVP now grabs a front facelock and KILLS Benoit with a DDT. MVP taunts and The Wolverine takes advantage and locks in the Crossface! MVP struggles but Benoit has it cinched in! MVP taps again! Benoit is up 2-0 @ 14:30!
MVP is in trouble but gets a low blow on Benoit. PLAYMAKER! That pulls one back @ 14:51!
Benoit leads 2-1 as MVP kicks Benoit down with less than five minutes to go. MVP hits a slam and goes back up to the top rope. Elbow drop connects but it only gets a 2 count. Benoit fights back with a pair of clotheslines and a snap suplex. MVP gets caught in the Crossface again but this time he is already in the ropes. Benoit goes to a chin lock which wears the time down a bit. About 3 minutes left on the clock. MVP rakes the eyes and hits a standing head scissors! Benoit is knocked out! MVP goes to the cover but Benoit kicks out. MVP pulls him back to his feet but Benoit counters and nails a fisherman suplex for a long 2 count! Small package by MVP gets 3 @ 17:55! The scores are tied at 2-2.
Benoit goes back on the attack almost immediately and nails 3 more Germans. MVP is in trouble again as Benoit goes back to the top rope. Headbutt misses as MVP got up just in time. Roundhouse kick by MVP! One…two…thr-NO! 1 minute to go. MVO goes back to the figure four but Benoit refuses to submit. MVP decides to go back to the kicks but Benoit avoids one and hits another German! That makes 11 MVP has taken in this match! 10 seconds left. Benoit looks like he is going for the Sharpshooter but gets kicked off. Time up.
Winner: Draw (2-2)
Match Analysis: That was all kinds of awesomeness. Other than the quick succession of pin falls mid-way through all of that was great. The first 10 minutes were good with a few high spots which rocked, but the final 5 minutes were amazingly good. ****
SvR Prediction: Draw
My Prediction: MVP
Ric Flair vs. Carlito
They trash talk at the stat and Carlito goes straight in for a big right hand. Elbow tie-up, face lock by Carlito and a take down. Flair up but quickly gets caught with a snap mare. Flair back up and takes down Carlito twice with a headlock takeover. Front facelock by Carlito into a Russian leg sweep. Carlito stomps away on the knee joint of the Nature Boy. Another big right takes Flair back down. Flair kicks Carlito off and delivers a few chops before Carlito comes back with a knee to the gut and an enziguri. Right hands off the skull by Carlito. Whip into a big right hand from Carlito. Snapmare take over and a whip into the corner. Flair comes back with rights but Carlito is too fast and gets a clothesline. Tie-up into a leg sweep for Flair this time. Clubbing shot to the kidneys by Flair. Go-behind by Carlito and a dropkick to the back of the head. Flair gets a sleeper and turns it into a rear naked choke. Wrist lock now by Flair into the hammer lock. Go-behind, standing switch by Carlito and a kick to the back of the knee. Carlito takes Flair down and just kicks him square in the back. Flatliner by Carlito gets 2. Single leg Boston crab applies by Carlito but Flair gets the ropes only for Carlito to keep the hold applied for the 4 count. BACKCRACKER! One…two…thr-NO! He kicked out. Flair begs off – eye poke! Ha ha. Shoulder knock down by Carlito – slingshot over the top into an elbow drop. Flair reverses a whip but gets knocked down again. They tie up again and Carlito gets another Flatliner for the win at 6:26!
Winner: Carlito
Match Analysis: Hey, that was really quite good. Carlito had some good heel offence in their and Flair was his usual self and it turned out quite nicely. It always helps when the right man goes over too. **½
SvR Prediction: Carlito
My Prediction: Carlito coz he's cool.
Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels
They stare down and jaw jack. The bell rings and we are under way. Right by Orton, European uppercut. Running fist drop by the Legend Killer. Side headlock into a Russian leg sweep. Kick to the guy by Orton but HBK whips RKO into the corner. They stare down again and Orton gets waste lock takeover but misses a dropkick. Another uppercut by Orton. He goes for a submission hold but HBK is in the ropes. Orton holds on for the 4 count. Kicks to the quads of HBK. HBK up, RKO! Holy shit! No cover though. Michaels is up but Orton is back on the attack. Side suplex by Orton followed up by right hands. Michaels comes back with a back breaker and a FALL AWAY SLAM TO THE FLOOR! Cool. Orton back and gets caught with some knees. Arm breaker DDT by the Icon, but Orton puts him down with a short arm clothesline. Bitch slap by HBK knocks Orton on his ass! SHARPSHOOTER BY HBK! HAHAHAHA! Orton fights and Michaels releases. He's going for it again – oh it's just a kick to the gut. Low blow by Orton! HEEL! Irish whip into the corner. Huge neckbreaker by Orton! Stiff clothesline and Michaels goes down again. Running fist drop connects again. HBK keeps getting back up so Orton knocks him back down. RKO! One...Two…Thr-NO! BAH GAWD IT'S NOT OVER! Kick by HBK, backbreaker! The queerest eye poke you've ever seen by Orton. Atomic drop kicks HBK out. He comes back with rights, tie-up, PILEDRIVER ON ORTON! Chops now by HBK, headlock by Orton. Clothesline by the Legend Killer. He goes for the pin and gets it @ 6:31! BOO!
Winner: Randy Orton
Match Analysis: So good until the ending. It was a little one-sided but in a funny sort of way. Total non-stop all the way here. I would knock half a star off for the lame finish but I'm adding a whole star on for Orton's eye poke. Seriously, he kind of curtsied into it. Fucking queers. ***
What, you though SmackDown would get the main event slot? Fools. They circle. Arm wrenching by The Animal. Neck vice by Dave but it's quickly released. Elbow drop. Edge up but gets stunned with some knees to the gut. Edge catches one and elbows Batista leg. That's not really smart is it? It works though. Well only for a bit because Batista gets a SPINEBUSTER! Elbow to the back. Edge up and whips Dave into the corner. FACE OFF~! Shoulder block by Batista. Crossface shots from the Animal, making Edge his bitch. He continues to do this with kicks. Edge grabs a front face lock, but Batista quickly counters and uses Edge's long locks to slam him to the mat. Dave looks to ass rape Edge but gets a thumb in the… eye. Edge slaps Dave around and they lock up again. PILEDRIVER BY EDGE! Ii can't get enough of that. Edge crotches The Animal over the top rope but knackers himself out doing it. Idiot. More clubbing shots by Batista. SPINEBUSTER! Edge is already just about dead. Batista misses a clothesline and Edge capitalizes by standing around like a muppet. There's a DDT! Edgecution! One…Two…Thr-No! Not yet. Batista hits a big DDT and an elbow drop. Kidney shots now by Edge. They exchange right hands as Batista takes Edge into the corner. Dave now goes back to the neck vie. Trust me, that ain't gonna get it done, Dave. Low blow by Edge. Edge up top – ELBOW DROP! No pin attempt. Leg drop. Batista kicks Edge off, EDGECUTION. That's all @ 6:56!
Winner: And still champion, Edge
Match Analysis: Meh. We got a piledriver so that's cool. Um, Edge looked like an idiot just standing around for 2 out of the 7 minutes of this match and Dave used about 3 moves 5 times. Like I said, meh. **
Well here it is. For the record Khali is rated at 89 thanks to some tampering, but it reflects his push. Cena is at 92. Khali's advantage – he's really tall. Cena's advantage is he's God-like and he has the CHAIN GANG, BITCHES! They go nose-t
-nipple. Khali chops Cena down. Kicks by Cena. Standing around… Right hand by Cena gets Khali in the nut sack. Cena goes for a wrist lock to little effect. Khali blocks a kick and puts Cena down with a shot to the back. Khali throws Cena to the mat by his hair. Front face lock. Right hand. This is funny. CHOKEBOMB! Cena's up quickly and hits Khali with some chops and the like. Snapmare by Cena gets the big man down for all of 2 seconds. Spinebuster by Khali. As if Khali wasn't mean enough, he crotches Cena on the ropes and just like Edge earlier, tires himself out. Dumb fuck. This allows Cena to hit the FIVE KNUCKLE SHUFFLE! Cena avoids a big boot and grabs a front face lock. Khali throws Cena around for giggles. More devastating kicks by Khali. Corner clothesline by the Punjab giant. More crotching. Yawn. It's not funny anymore. Five Knuckle Shuffle. Notice I'm not typing it in caps the second time around. Khali beats Cena around with more clubbing blows and chops and that sort of shit. He stands on his leg. That bastard. PUNJAB CHOP OF DOOM! COVER! IT'S OVER @ 5:45!
Winner: AND NEW WWE CHAMPION, THE GREAT KHALI
Match Analysis: It was heading for a DUD until the final 3 seconds. *****
SvR Prediction: Khali. Yup.
My Prediction: Cena retains. Or else.
Overall PPV Analysis: 7/10. Good. The MVP/Benoit match was great, and Orton/HBK, the handicap and the Flair/Carlito match were all good. The World title bout and Punk/Burke were fine but could have done with some more time. The main event was the fucking shit! I'll be back in 2 weeks with One Night Stand, until then you can check me out in Schmozzes and Screwjobs and as of Monday, the Fink's Payload.
Thanks, lackey. If only we were actually blessed with the Great Khali as WWE Champion. If only…
COMING ATTRACTIONS
And so ends another edition of the Thursday Small-For-All News Report. Next week, we will look at the fallout from Judgment Day in addition to whatever else happens in this crazy world of sports entertainment. Until then…
Khali for Champion!!!
Enjoy the Office Season Finale.
Marsico's in tomorrow!
For the Thursday Small-For-All News Report, I'm Jeff Small… and you're not!!!!!
