Just S'pose 5.21.07
Posted by Ron Gamble on 05.21.2007
It's time to party like it's 1967!
On November 4, 2002, I went to bed like any regular night. I had plans to vote the next day to try to get rid of my representative in Congress, Rep. Steven LaTourette (R-OH), even though I knew he was going to win by a wide margin. About fifteen minutes later, I woke up my wife and asked her to take me to the hospital.
I was in the Ashtabula (OH) County Medical Center for three days. When I was released, I was referred to a cardiac specialist at the Cleveland Clinic. There isn't much good I can say about Cleveland, but I will say I was lucky the Clinic was nearby. As of now, the Cleveland Clinic has been rated by the US News and World Report as the best cardiac hospital in the US for the past twelve years.
The doctor I saw at the Clinic said I had three arteries that were at least 90% blocked. I would need a stent placed in each one through angioplasty. This was no big deal to me; I had one stent placed four years earlier at Riverside Hospital in Columbus (also OH). He also said there were new stents that were coated by a special medicine to prevent closure of the stent and the artery, but that these were not yet approved by the FDA. He said I could wait for a couple months, until these were approved for use.
In late February 2003, I was told I could not wait anymore. The stents were not going to be approved for use in time to do any good for me. I needed a triple bypass.
On March 4, 2003, my wife, parents, mother-in-law, and I crowded into the office of Dr. Marc Gillinov, cardiac surgeon. He showed a video of my latest test, pointed to an artery, and said it was 99% blocked. He told me that, within two weeks, if nothing was done, I would have a "massive, fatal heart attack." Four hours later, I was unconscious on an operating table while Dr. Gillinov performed a quadruple bypass.
There was a very good chance that, four years ago, Ash Baby and Wids would have written my obituary here on 411. I am very glad they sent flowers to me for a quick recovery, instead of sending flowers of sympathy to Renee. There's nothing like dying to ruin your day, y'know?
The reason I'm telling you this story is personally important. Tuesday, May 22, is my 40th birthday. I am no longer the odds-on favorite in the "dead pool" among all IWC writers, but I am still on top of the 411 pool, simply because I am so much older than everyone else. In recent months, I have lost 40 pounds, and am actually exercising more and eating better than I have in the past. However, I should not have celebrated my 36th birthday, let alone my 40th.
40 is a big number for me. I know that, for many of you, it's a long way away. Most people dread turning 40. For me, it's a great day.
Now, if you've been paying attention over the past seven years (seven years writing a column mostly about wrestling? I need to grow up...), you know that, when I have a birthday, someone in wrestling turns the same age one day earlier. Mr. Benoit, welcome to your fifth decade of life!
What can I give Chris for a birthday present? How about a look into a strange, alternate story of his career...
PAGING DOCTOR BENOIT
After his match in Edmonton was over, David Schultz was showered and dressed quicker than usual. He watched the last match from just outside the dressing room, then started back toward the exit after the pin. Just before going through the doors, he heard a voice call out to him.
"Doctor D!"
Schultz turned back around and saw a kid of about thirteen or fourteen running up to him. He had a program in one hand, and a pen in the other. He normally sneered at anyone wanting an autograph, doing his part to keep his character alive, but this time, he kind of smirked and allowed the kid to run all the way up to him. "What's your name, kid?"
"Chris."
"Okay, Chris, what do you want?"
"I was wondering if I could have your autograph? You're my favorite wrestler."
Schultz reached out for the program and pen and started signing his name,
"Thanks, Doctor D. When I grow up, I want to be a wrestler, just like you!"
In the world we know, fourteen-year-old Chris Benoit made that declaration to Tom Billington, aka Dynamite Kid. In the quarter-century since, Benoit has won many titles around the world, including WCW Television title, IWGP Junior Heavyweight title, WWE United States title, WWE Intercontinental title, and both the WCW and WWE World titles. He was ranked number one in the 2004 "Pro Wrestling Illustrated" PWI 500. He is also the first winner of the illustrious Super J Cup tournament in 1994, defeating Great Sasuke in the final. However, what if Tom Billington wasn't wrestling in Calgary at this impressionable time in Benoit's life, and he needed to idolize another one of Stampede Championship Wrestling's stars? Just S'pose Chris Benoit idolized "Doctor D" David Schultz. What might have happened?
Four years later, in 1985, Benoit began training in the Hart Dungeon, where he learned how to stretch an opponent. His idol, David Schultz, had challenged Hulk Hogan for the WWF World title before slapping reporter John Stossel during an interview on "20/20." Benoit was sure he could eventually get good enough to challenge Hogan, but it would be a while before he would be ready.
On November 22, 1985, Chris Benoit made his professional wrestling debut in Calgary, losing to Johnny Smith. In the match, he made an impression on the fans when he pantomimed blowing his nose on Smith. The crowd groaned in disgust, and his career as a heel had begun.
He continued to learn on the road and in the Dungeon, finding more ways to make the crowd angry. His first match on television, against Johnny Smith, was another loss, this time by disqualification when he would not let Smith back in the ring. The next week, Benoit wrestled Smith again, but this time Benoit won by countout. The next week, they faced off again, and Benoit lost by disqualification when he would not stop choking Smith. This feud continued for almost one year, with Smith winning the final match.
Benoit took his experience from this feud and used it to win the British Commonwealth Mid-Heavyweight title from Les Thornton in March 1987. He also got the chance to wrestle occasionally in Japan for NJPW, and was even given a shot in the WWF, wrestling as enhancement talent for a television taping in Winnipeg, losing three matches in five hours.
By 1989, Benoit was wrestling in Japan four months every year, and was even given a short run with the IWGP Junior Heavyweight title, beating Naoki Sano. In 1991, he was in New Japan for nine months, returning to North America long enough to get a tryout with WCW. In WCW, he was considered an up-and-coming talent, but too short to be considered a serious contender to champion Lex Luger. Since WCW did not have a credible junior heavyweight division, and had no interest in developing one, Benoit returned to NJPW.
Benoit's ring style resembled that of his mentor, David Schultz. There was more brawling than "scientific" wrestling, and he grew his hair long and curly. He even began using the ring name "The Good Doctor" in Japan, where his style clashed with the traditional Japanese high-flying style put forth by Tiger Mask, The Cobra, and Stampede alumnus Owen Hart. Unlike many style clashes, however, this worked to his advantage, as he showed he could put on a good match with anyone, no matter what his opponents' style.
In 1992, the WWF gave him another tryout, this time in Los Angeles at a house show. He used the "Good Doctor" name, including going to the ring in medical scrubs. He defeated Barry Horowitz in about seven minutes, and within three weeks, he signed a contract with Vince McMahon.
Benoit was seen as a throwback to the 1970's style, but in a good way. He punished opponents with long, painful holds, stretching elbows, shoulders, knees, and ankles. He scratched backs with his fingernails, pulled hair, and just plain beat them up. His finishing move, The Procedure, was a Boston Crab-type move, where he locked an opponent's arms over his own, pulled up on his legs, and lifted the man off the mat, bending him backwards. He wrestled Crush at WrestleMania IX, winning in eight minutes.
After that win, he was seen as a legitimate contender to the Intercontinental title. He wrestled to a no contest against Shawn Michaels in SummerSlam 1993. He ended up winning the Intercontinental title by beating Razor Ramon on September 27, 1993, after a battle royal to determine the top two contenders for the vacant title.
His reign was not long, however, as Ramon beat him for the title on November 24, 1993, at Survivor Series. He did not win the title again.
He defeated Tatanka at Royal Rumble 1994, but was not a participant in the Rumble match. His last appearance in the WWF was at WrestleMania X, where he lost to Earthquake in less than three minutes. After the match, Benoit was carried from the ring on a stretcher, "squashed" by Earthquake.
He returned to New Japan in April 1994, where he became a top challenger for the IWGP Junior Heavyweight title. He also took part in the first Super J Cup in April, losing in the second round to El Samurai. He eventually left NJPW and went to Germany, joining the Catch Wrestling Association. While there, he joined with fellow Canadian Lance Storm, where they formed a tag team. Storm's technical prowess meshed well with Benoit's brawling, and they wanted to call themselves The Stormtroopers. Unfortunately, this name brought up many memories of Nazi Germany, not the preferred Star Wars, and they changed the name to The Storm Riders. They found some success, winning the CWA Tag Team titles on December 9, 1994, by beating Ulf Hermann and August Smisl in Bremen, Germany. They held the titles until June 18, 1995, when they lost to Smisl and Tony St. Clair in Vienna, Austria.
After Storm left the CWA, Benoit remained as a singles wrestler, beating David Finlay for the CWA Middleweight title in January 1996. He and Finlay traded the title back and forth for most of 1996, with Finlay winning their final match in Graz, Austria, on November 18.
In December, Benoit made his debut in ECW, beating Chris Candido in Philadelphia. He wrestled several times for the ECW Television title, and even received a few shots at the ECW World title, but never won a title belt in ECW.
In 1998, he was signed buy WCW, but the story was the same as everywhere else. He challenged for the United States title, but was never considered a legitimate threat for the World title. After spending a year in WCW, he returned to NJPW. He stayed there until his retirement in December 1999.
Today, Chris Benoit is an executive for the relaunched Stampede Championship Wrestling in Alberta, Canada. Benoit is in charge of the Edmonton office, helping the group on their northern swings throughout the province, and has even helped owners Bruce and Ross Hart expand into Saskatchewan. He is happy with how his career turned out, with one exception: he never got the chance to beat Hulk Hogan.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US
That's all I have for now. Join us next time, when we ask the question, "Wait. You're how old?"
