Wrestling’s 4R’s 5.25.07: Thorn is his Own Man, TNA’s Lack of Follow Up, Lashley Mania on Raw, A Rated-R Era for Smackdown and More!
Posted by Larry Csonka on 05.25.2007
Plus a very special guest for Raw!
The 4R's of wRestling
Introduction~!
-Welcome back kids for another edition of Wrestling's 3R's! As always I am Larry Csonka, along with me is my tag team partner "The Whole Geoffin Show" Geoff Eubanks. It is time again for that walk through the wild world of wrestling TV that we take each and every week.
-For this week I ran into a ton of things, personal and work, so I secured the services of Destiny's MATT ADAMSON to help out with Raw this week. Matt is on Fact or Fiction this week, has made appearances on Buy or Sell and does an excellent PURO column on Sundays, which you should all check out. I thank Matt for taking time from his busy schedule this week to help out with the R's.
-Also, and I almost forgot, but tomorrow marks my 3rd year anniversary here at 411. That's right, 3-years complete and over 1200+ columns/reviews and reports written. And the good news for you is that there is no slowing down in sight! Actually it is picking up as I will be doing more for the MMA zone. Speaking of that, YOUR NEWS, MY VIEWS will now be sharing time with the MMA zone as well! It's craziness I say! So stay here, support the site, keep reading, send suggestions and just have fun! With all of that being said, let's get to work on the week that was in wrestling!
WWE JUDGMENT DAY Podcast and MORE~!
That's right, for the second straight week we're back with more podcasting fun! Tonight we discuss WWE Judgment Day, Garlic Chicken Pizza, Deadliest Catch, The Tudors, Christy Answers Steve Cook, wacky college days and much, much more!
Check out my appearance on ROCKET BUSTA RADIO from Saturday night! A colossal 2-hour and 30-minute EPIC INTRAWEB RADIO EVENT~! Go check it out and download it HERE~! They're good people and I thank them for having me on the show. Shoot them an email, show them some love and then demand that I am on more often!
How the 4R's of wRestling Work!
Here is a quick explanation of the 4R's. I will take the 5 main shows (6 if I go RetRo) of the week: TNA Impact, WWE Raw, ECW on Sci-Fi and WWE Smackdown. If we have a PPV, that show will get a special PPV edition of the R's all to its own. I then group my feelings on the shows in various categories: The Right, the wRong and the Ridiculous. The Right is stuff that worked very well: a great promo, a great match and so on. PuRgatoRy is a section between the right and wrong. It shows equal traits from both sides that cannot be ignored and need discussed. It is not a bad place per say, as things can get remedied or go the wrong way the very next week. The wRong is what it sounds like: bad matches, bad or boring promos and so on. The Ridiculous is stuff that had no right on TV: Stupid angles, Diva searches and so on. And there is always a possibility of a 5th R, which is as bad as they come, unless you are TNA. They have a special R all of their own, the 6th R; the Russo-FN-Riffic~!
This column is supposed to be analytical, and at the right time very critical of the shows, it was the whole reason it was created. This is not a "mark" column, nor a "smark" column, I cannot speak for Geoff, but my goal is to analyze the show from many different fronts, reward the good and call out the bad. There are also occasions where I will bring out a 4th, 5th or even a 6th R to the column, so beware of those~! I will not apologize for my opinions, they are as they are, whether very positive or negative.
ASK LARRY AND/OR CHRISTY~!
We'll be doing more podcasts, probably for ONS III. If you have questions you want answered during the show, shoot me an email and have "ASK~!" in the subject. We look forward to fun questions.
iMpact!:
iMpact 5.17.06:
The Right:
Jerry Lynn & Tiger Mask vs. Alex Shelley & Chris Sabin - Tiger Mask IV made his last TV appearance for TNA on Impact and I was certain that he would get the win in this match. Shelley and Sabin, the Murder City Machine Guns were together and this makes Larry a happy man. I was expecting this all to be very predictable; Mask gets the pin on Shelley and he and Lynn celebrate while Backlund does a wacky run in. Thankfully I was wrong. Mask got pinned by SHELLEY of all people and then they beat down Lynn and mask until wacky Bob made the save! This was different, not what I expected and that is a very good thing. Shelley and Sabin are just awesome together, and I hope that Sabin drops the title soon so that he and Shelley can have a full blown tag run, which has the possibility of being very awesome. By the way, what was the point of bringing in Tiger mask anyway? He looked like shit and had no aura of importance about him.
Angle vs. Rhino - Rhino and Angle faced off this week for the right to make the KOTM match at Slammiversary, to crowd the new champion. This is a fine call because they have worked together in the past, is fresh because it hasn't happened in a while and had an air of importance to it. They worked well together, everything seemed to go off just fine and in the end Angle got the clean win, no run ins or anything with the Angle Slam and all was right in the world. This was good for a few reasons. #1 no fuck finish. This was a clean win with a clean finisher. #2 it shows you that Angle is better than Rhino. #3 TNA has a problem in booking everyone even Steven, parity booking. This was not it for once. #4 if Angle wins, Rhino will be pissed and can challenge based off of his hatred of Angle and the loss. #5 it reminds people that at one time the Angle Slam was a believable finisher. This is all good stuff. The only major complaint is that I would have liked them to have more time, and maybe for the commercial not to gut it. But this was a fine TV main event here, with the right man going over.
puRgatory:
FIRST BLOOD MATCH: Raven vs. Christopher Daniels - Christopher Daniels summed this up perfectly in his pre-match promo as he said that there was NO LOGIC in him wanting this match. God bless that man. But it was the truth. Why would you run a first blood match between men with no feud? Also, why would you have Raven on TV when he is obviously still in very poor shape. Hell, my wife didn't even recognize him! They had a 2-minute match, Daniels wins and then busts himself open. The only good here, and the reason it makes purgatory is because of how it plays into the Daniels character and eventual feud with Sting. Daniels got busted open at the PPV and bathed in his own blood, making him see the light that he was missing. That's cool and I like the tie in, but otherwise this was bad.
The wRong:
Back off the wagon… Week after week I have this to say about the amount of wrestling TNA puts on: I have said, I still feel that they need to offer up as close to as much wrestling time as there are commercials. There are 18-20 minutes of commercials per episode of Impact. So hence forth as I have said, I feel that there should be around 15-18-minutes of wrestling action per week, minimum on Impact. I think that is an important thing. They need to show enough wrestling to make people want to buy a PPV. No one buys a show based off of a 2-minute match with a run in and no finish. After making the goal last week and having a better show, they fell back off the wagon this week as they offered up a mere 11+ minutes of action this week. If they were hell bent on the qualifying matches, Angle and Rhino really should have had more time. Hell, the first blood match needed more time. But we didn't get it and thus, missed the goal again.
Young and Roode/No Harris vs. Storm Follow Up - They led a whole segment dedicated to the Roode/Young/JJ drama this week on Impact. Overall it was fine, as they recapped things and set the eventual Roode vs. Young match, which Young should win and that is all well and good, but that could have been saved for next week. There was a crime committed here, a huge crime. There was ZERO follow up on the Storm vs. Harris match and feud. No medical updates, no long video package for an awesome match, there was nothing at all and that was depressing. During the R's of Sacrifice, I had this to say about the after match: The only complaint is that the have this awesome match, and as soon as Harris gets the win and they cut backstage for some bullshit interview that meant jack and shit. Plus they had audio issues, but you could hear the crowd chanting "THANK YOU" to these guys. In what could have been a MAGICAL moment, was shit on. You guys are fucking clueless. Congratulations, you took a moment given to you and pissed on it. TNA production, you fail at life. Well, they continued to fail again this week on Impact, pissing away a GREAT match, a GREAT effort and a GREAT chance at making stars and cashing in on an awesome moment.
We have Confirmation, the PPV had a FUCK finish - Yup, the PPV had the old FUCK FINISH. They came out and did what we all expected. All three men decided to explain why they should be the champion, Cornette came out, stripped the title and set up the KOTM match for the title at Slammiversary. There was no real reason given and the other bad part is instead of saying, "Well, you three should get into the match" they are made to compete. I think they should have gotten in on one hand, but like that they didn't on another hand. But the main point is that the PPV had a fuck finish and that DOESN'T endear yourselves to paying customers. I feel they could have done this in a better way. And Scotty, sorry man, just because we knew it MAY happen doesn't mean we shouldn't be pissed about it.
The Ridiculous:
SEROTONIN - I am officially done defending the Serotonin angle anymore. As I have said, they have missed the boat with them and the chance to make anything meaningful out of them. They are nothing but jobbers with a gimmick that get next to no TV time and thusly we have been given no reason to care about them. They tried to pull an angle after the first blood match, but even I don't care at this point. They are dead and buried. So much for a decent idea.
Stomper - Fuck that rat.
SmackDown!: By: "The Whole Geoffin Show" Geoff Eubanks
SmackDown 5.18.06
Man, was I on my man-rag yesterday. Upset and depressed for no good Goddam reason. I felt like a teenager, and not in the good way! I must have listened to the new Brett Anderson cd a dozen times! But hormones averted…I credit pesto and vodka.
I mentioned a month or so ago that I had scored Stevie Nicks tickets. Well, the show was last weekend and far exceeded my expectations. Fantastic set and lights, the sound was flawless, her new band is nothing short of exceptional, the new arrangements to her classic material made the old new again and Stevie herself…absolutely breathtaking. I've been in love with this woman since I was 11 years old and whether she was inhaling Columbia, popping pills or being rock-n-roll's favorite white witch, there have been few who have mattered or inspired me more than she. She celebrates her 59th birthday on Saturday, but she sounded better than anyone who's been through what she's endured in her life has a Right to sound like. She hit notes I never thought I'd hear out of her again. An amazing show, and if you've ever been even a slight fan, I recommend picking up some tickets…it's worth it for the Led Zeppelin cover alone…really!
Oh, yeah, I'm blond now! Somewhere between Tom Fletcher from McFly and Misteeeeeeeer Kennedyyyy! Maybe I'll post a pic sometime…but it looks AWEsome.
Now let's bang this out cuz I still have Larrold & Mrs. Larrold's podcasts to check out!
The Right:
Taker takes a powder – I loved the fact that The Druids came to the ring to take back the body of The Undertaker last week and that the footage was shown here tonight, especially, incorporated as it was, in still another awesome video package by the ever-flawless production team. Taker deserved that exit and the package brought everyone up to date, as well as giving proper respect due to such a noble performer.
Boot to the head! – Correct me if I'm wRong, but isn't that an old Monty Python thing…? My brother gave to me the entire "Flying Circus" collection for Christmas last year, and I still haven't had the time to watch them all. Wink wink nudge nudge, say no more…? Oh, and to the guy in the front row with the "Edge fears Hardy" sign…? You're the fucking MAN. I loved Matt's expression as MVP did his deal in the aisle…totally just "Mm-hmm…yeah." Now, I always maintain that I reserve judgment with respect to how "over" a performer is by listening to the pop they receive on SD!, because, as a post-produced show, that stuff can be easily padded by the time it hits the air; however, that which does not lie is the amount of pro-talent signs and fans cheering such talent in the audience. That said, it seems to me that Matt, who has always been perpetually over, appears to be gathering momentum in terms of his fan base. In other words, Matt's fuckin OVER, more so now than ever, I think. JBL is Right on when he says, "Matt Hardy is a main event waiting to happen!"
I really dug MVP's game plan here. In his attempt to twist Matt's head off his shoulders, he managed to ground the high-flyer, taking Matt out of his game and, by proxy, putting him on the defensive, until such time that MVP could set up that stunning Yakuza kick with that sweet leg sweep-into-a-drop toehold. Sad as it is to say from my chair, as I am a much bigger Hardy mark than MVP fan, that kick was pretty much the match, although Matt wouldn't lie down so easily for the young up-&-comer. I certainly appreciate the manner in which Charles Robinson displayed the new "shoot-style" of reffing, pushing MVP back after he connected with a vicious Kawada kick, the second boot to the head Matt took in a few short minutes, affording Matt's eyes a glassy appearance, certainly worthy of the ref asking Matt if he should call the match. Matt continued to sell the hell out of the beating he took when, as he attempted to ascend the ropes, kayfabe-slipped, also allowing MVP time enough to gather his bearings and cut off Matt's attempt to come back, actually setting up Matt's death knell by bouncing Matt's forehead off the ringpost, allowing The Playmaker for the pinfall.
This was just about the perfect set up for MVP finally swiping The UST from Chris Benoit…and let me stress this – MVP was on the cusp of defeating Benoit…CHRIS BENOIT…CLEAN…in TWO STRAIGHT FALLS! MVP needed to have a solid, competitive match where he came out on top and CLEAN, and Matt was just the man for the job, so to speak. At first, I was a little miffed because Matt came out looking as if he wasn't in MVP's league, and I initially thought, well here we go again, yes, Matt's had some great showings lately, but he's back on his treadmill, jobbing to make someone else look good. Although that may have been the case, he certainly by no means straight out JOBBED, because it took two mighty kicks to the head and another cranial shot to the ringpost to get the better of him, and he fought valiantly to the end, so, as far as I'm concerned (after having viewed this match about four times), Matt has dick about which to be ashamed.
I have to commend JBL and Michael Cole for setting up the Two-Out-Of-Three-Falls gimmick, and exactly how the situation related to MVP early in this match tonight, and again during the Benoit/Finlay clash later in the show. This is typical of this announce team at their best, the point-counterpoint they exhibit is reminiscent of Gorilla Monsoon and both Bobby Heenan and Jesse Ventura at their best, as well, a high compliment to be certain. Well done, gentlemen!
Finally in this regard, I LOVED the immediate post-match, in-ring interview Cole conducted with MVP. I've always loved those, and, after a well-constructed match, it's an exclamation point on the subject, as it certainly was here. In light of WWE's apparent desire to exhibit a more shoot-fight sort of atmosphere, I'm assuming this falls into that category, as well, and it worked big time tonight. THIS is the MVP I want to see. Confident, focused, determined and able, a total package to be certain! That said, can we PLEASE get him some decent fucking ring gear?!?!?!?!
…And that's why God gave us TWO knees – And thank God Missy Hyatt has two, or she'd be off-balance most of the time. BaDUMbum. Benoit. Finlay. Do I really need to go on? Although not the stiffing-the-hell-out-of-each-other match I was expecting, this was a down-home, old school wrestling match the likes of which we don't see enough anymore. Here's the skinny, friends – Benoit's main undoing here was when Finlay sent him knee-first into the ring steps, banging the joint pretty damn good (You watching, Batista? THAT'S how you take that spot.). Finlay, being the outstanding opportunistic wrestler that he is, pounced on the knee and didn't let up the entire remainder of the bout. Why is this significant? Because it was the focus on that same knee at Judgment Day that facilitated MVP's two straight falls on Benoit, thus allowing MVP to relieve Benoit of his ten-pound burden. There was also a great moment when MVP ran in to throw the match where Finlay was finally allowed the opportunity to wallop Benoit in the knee with the shillelagh and then, in keeping with their previous tag encounter, motioned to MVP in Benoit's direction, as if to say, "He's all yours, pally." Mr. Continuity is so excited, he popped a boner and ran out of skin.
Really, though, why is a ring veteran like Benoit going to attempt to apply The Sharpshooter to The Little Bastard, especially with a bum knee and an animal like Finlay behind him?
Mark Henry's bringing silverback – Which reminds me of one of my favorite "ya mama" jokes (I LOVE ya mama jokes) – Ya mama so nasty she couldn't bring sexy back with a receipt. BaDUMbum. Actually, does Big Drippy refer to himself as a silverback because of that pretty silver lame trim on his tights? Really, that ring gear looks more like eveningwear for Mabel King (Google her and check the images…it's a good joke). The pre-match promo was solid and the match, although way too short, even for a squash, got across the point. If I properly recall, next week on SD! will feature a Fatal Fourway #1 Contenders' match among Batista, Mark Henry, Finlay and Kane. I think this could be where we pair up Big Dave and Big Drippy for their program and I have a feeling Kane might be taken out of the match due to wacky shenanigans provided by William Regal, Dave Taylor and Los Boogies; dare I dream of Edge/Finlay for the World Title? I'm not saying Good ol' Fit has to win the damn thing, I just wanna see the match! Anywoozle, we'll see if I'm Right…
Holy shit, it's Christian York! – Now all four members of THE BADSTREET BOYS have been on SD!. Those were the days. For the uninitiated, TBB were Shane Helms, Shannon Moore, Joey (Mercury) Matthews and Christian York. Matthews and York went on to tag in ECW, and so I have HUGE love for them. Seems a shame that, after all this time, York is simply job fodder for Mike Mizanin, but that's the business, I suppose.
So it seems as if we may finally be green-lighting some ring time for The Miz. As I've mentioned in the past, I'm a big fan of fully utilizing everyone on the roster; I mean, if you're paying them, USE them, Right? And even JBL had to admit tonight that The Miz has been looking pretty good lately. That leaping corner clothesline is a damn fine-looking move! I'm not trying to convince anyone that The Miz is a future world champion or anything, but I'm confident that we can have a little fun with him and that, given his adherence to improving, could become a valuable member of WWE, as well as bucking the playa-haters and end up putting on a decent little match.
Why do I get the feeling Kristal's as bald as Teddy? – She finally found a really attractive wig, but it looked as if it had slid back on her head an inch! LMFAO! Okay, no more cow jokes in Vickie's regard, but I'll tell you why I started them in the first place. I truly think Vickie has a lovely face, she really does. Her body is a little chunky, though. That's not a criticism, it's simply stating fact. Hey, I ain't what I used to be, either. The fact is, I'm not running around in tight ass clothes trying to be something I'm not and she is. I don't care if she's being a heel, there are tasteful ways of getting across a point and this is not one of them. If your arms look like Magnum condoms full of dairy products three weeks past the "sell by" date, don't wear halter-tops.
Meanwhile, it appears as though this story is finally going to get off the ground, and I, for one, am really excited. I think this whole deal could be really big and really fun if it's done properly and, as SD! is the single best wrestling show on television (especially since Raw lost Triple H, Shawn Michaels and Edge), I have faith that we could be in for a wild ride (and so could Teddy Long…bow-chicka-bow-wow)!
puRgatory:
The Rated-R Era begins – Wow, what a convoluted mess was our main event interview. I had high hopes in the beginning. Edge now has the coolest pyro in the business, and it's fitting, as he's also the #1 heel in the business. The custom ramp and canvas were exceptional touches, as well. The crowd was hot and letting Edge know how they felt about him, and then Edge cuts this weird promo, where he talks shit about Canadian and American citizens, then buries Raw and its fans, but turns around to cut a face promo, suggesting that SD! fans have the opportunity to be better than Raw and its fans and that he's going to be a champion of whom we can all be proud, a fighting champion who'll take all comers. WTF?
So then, here comes Batista, who, to his credit, looked fucking SLICK, head to toe tonight. It's about time, Dave. And then we get one of his classic title-chasing promos, "Like I told The Undertaker, that's my World Title you're wearing and, come Judgment Day, I'm gonna be needing it back." I mean, as if he's talking about a pair of hedge clippers his neighbor borrowed. Man, it was like McMahonagement figured, well, we only have this one show to promote the match, fuck it. And by accounts I've heard, sounds like Batista said the same thing on Sunday…I ain't winning, fuck it. Let's hope the World Title picture picks up and quick, because it would be a damn shame to throw away all the fantastic momentum Edge gathered last week, especially with SO much they can do in this situation.
Dear Michael Cole, NEVER "yee-haw" EVER again – JBL should have slapped the shit out of him for that. It was about as bad as when Vince McMahon started shaking his ass to Flash Funk's entrance theme. Okay, by all Rights, the match involving Brian Kendrick/Paul London/Jimmy Wang Yang versus Deuce/Domino/Chavo Guerrero should be in the Right section; the heels kept Chavo in the ring for the better part of the match (or, perhaps more accurately, kept Deuce and especially Domino OUT), so it was basically a CruiserWeight match and all four remaining men have great chemistry, even though this six-man was rushed and teetered dangerously close to going over the "clusterfuck" edge (a six-man should not go bell-to-bell in four minutes!). I also appreciate the fact that The Wanger looks to finally be in line for a match against Shabbo…nice, considering this is the second clean pinfall victory he's earned against the CWC. In terms of the WWETTT picture, this match firmly re-established London & Kendrick as a team with which to be reckoned, and I have a feeling we might see their rematch against the champions at WWECW:ONS III.
What really zests my lemon about this segment, aside from the pretty moves being poorly sewn together, is that we're again being tempted to care about the CW division at a time when we've just lost Scotty 2 Hotty (although, really, as much as I liked him, his time had passed in WWE, because he was booked for shit), Funaki only makes it to the ring to job to the likes of Mark Henry, Gregory Helms caught Austinitis (sound it out) and will be on the shelf for a year and Daivari, Shannon Moore and Jamie Noble may as well be on welfare for all the TV time they get, despite the talent of the latter two (Daivari should have been shipped back to Raw to reprise his role as Nature's Little Oopsie's talking head for as valued a member of SD! as he's allowed, or could be, in my opinion). A great attempt to forward two stories in one segment, but there simply wasn't enough time to make anything matter, especially when the point of the match was to give JWY a clean pinfall on the CWC, which he already has, although no one bothered to mention it.
The return of Rock-N-Wrestling? – I'm probably going way overboard with this, but I'm concerned about the direction this may take. Granted, I love Ozzy Osbourne. His music kicks ass, he's a bona fide legend, I loved the reality show on MTV, I think his family is great (even Jack…hahaha) and the new song is killer. However, you know that criminally short match we just discussed? Here's where the time that should have been allotted to it went. I DO NOT want to see time on a WRESTLING program being handed to musicians, especially the unmistakably shit bands WWE gets to do their PPV and wrestler theme songs. Now on a PPV, that's a different story; as Ozzy provided the theme song for Judgment Day, open the PPV with Ozzy performing such song and then move on into the meat of the show. WWE PPVs always end early anyway, an extra three or four minutes at the beginning to get the crowd buzzing and excited (as well as allow those at home some extra time to get snacks and booze together) would be fine and even welcome. But don't go taking time away from the wrestlers and give it to musicians in still another lame-assed attempt to pull in casual viewers. If Joe Schmo wanted to watch wrestling, he would, and having Saliva on to perform their latest offering of musical rape won't make them stick around once the drivel ends.
However, the shot just before the commercial break of Ozzy being accosted by Jigglin Hall was AWEsome!
The wrong:
"If Teddy Long wasn't so busy with Kristal Lewinski, he'd do something about THIS!" – I wasn't gonna come up with a better line than JBL's, so I nicked it from him. That reminds me of a fun Monica Lewinski joke. Did you hear what happened when Monica took her dress to her hard-of-hearing dry cleaners? "I'd like to have my dress dry cleaned, please." "What? Come again?" "No, just a little mustard." BaDUMbum.
Okay, I'm bored. Granted, the bulk of this match was as good as it's gonna get between William Regal and Kane, two guys I genuinely like, but together, it's just reeeeeeeeeally dull. I suppose if I didn't want to kill The Boogeyman and his identical, removable tick with my own bare hands, I might find some amusement in this situation, but, no. Like I said last week, make sure the DVD is recording and SMOKE BREAK! Oh, and for those keeping score at home, Kane is back to being amused with Boogey's, shall we call them, antics.
The Ridiculous:
The Boogeyman lives and breathes and Raw still outdraws SmackDown! by a million viewers, even though the only remotely interesting story on the show is the WTTT program between THE HARDYS and Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch – But everything else is fine!
In memory – Remember that fucking conservative, Mike Lafave, who had a cup of coffee here at 411 before he decided to fritter away his time at college (rolls eyes)? Well, I got a bit of an update from him with regard to exactly how he's been frittering. I just thought I'd share:
So what have I been doing instead of writing for 411? Well, I've been going to class first and foremost. And that has not been nearly the waste of time it sounds like. As my GPA is very strong. [As evidenced by his masterful sentence structure – geoff]
I'm also the News Director or a radio station.[You decide. – geoff] I formal and over-see an hour-long news show every weekday. An hour might not seem like a lot, but it seriously takes about 4-6 hours of work to be ready for a quality hour-long show. On Tues day and Thur, I'm actually the one on the air. I also do a Hannity and Combs type show w/ a very liberal friend of mine. [As a former radio person, I can vouch for Mr. Lafave, in that it takes a HELL of a lot of prep to do even a quickie news blurb, much less an entire hour, but then, knowing Lafave, he's doing some right-wing conservative Fox News creative writing slant on everything. – geoff…hey, my portion of the column, I'll editorialize if I like.]
On top of that, I also do some work for television, and I am a writer for the campus newspaper and write the weekly blog for their website. [Notice how he neglects to include a link? I call bullshit on this one. – geoff]
So with all this hard work, what have I got out of it? [Exceptional grammar, for one. – geoff] Well, other than getting paid while building a strong resume, three pretty cool things have happened:
1) A prof of mine has put my name at the top of a list of three candidates to be the new Producer of the 10pm news at a local station. It airs on the CW Network, so my own news show would air after SmackDown! on Friday nights.
2) I've also been asked if I would be interested in interning for a Senator and taking classes at Georgetown. [Hey, we were just talking about Monica Lewinski, weren't we…?! – geoff] If I don't get the producing job, I'm going to say yes, and then I'll be officially nominated for the scholarship.
3) There is a very prestigious award ceremony at our campus. At that ceremony, I am going to be presented with the Most Outstanding Transfer Student award.{It should be noted there was only one transfer student. – geoff]
The reason I'm telling you guys this, is not to come off like I'm bragging. It's simply to let you know that I didn't just decide to up and stop writing for 411. I loved writing for this site. I consider a couple of the guys here like a family. I still have long talk about wrestling, politics, and everything else w/ Geoff. Larry and I have had some great convos as well. There are a lot of great writers and great people on this site and I feel privileged to had the opportunity to be a part of the team.
And I also loved and miss the feedback from you the readers. I miss having a inbox full of wrestling comments and questions. It made me feel like I was entertaining you the fans, even if for just a few mins a week [Or that someone…SOMEone was FINally listening to me…! – geoff].
I hope this hasn't bored you. And if you ever want to talk a little wrestling, I still respond to all the e-mails I get. mlafave13@yahoo.com. Send me your fantasy ideas, or any wrestling thoughts ,I love talking wrestling. I hope to get some free time to write up a column soon. I have a ton ideas that I would love to share w/ you guys and get your thoughts. Until then, keep reading 411 and keep on losing yourself in the wrestling world!
Remember people, show Geoff some love by emailing him here: yostankmama@hotmail.com
RAW!: By: "JOSHI LOVER" Matt Adamson
Raw 5.21.07:
The Right:
Carlito vs. Flair - While it's a tad disappointing that the match ended with a double countout, I feel as though this match is saved from puRgatory by the fact that both Flair and Carlito picked up right where they left off the night before at Judgment Day. Carlito went immediately to the arm while Flair in turn worked the leg. It's simple psychology and it was refreshing to see a couple guys go out and remind us all that it is possible to run a major wrestling promotion where what happens one night can effect the following night. This match was also aided by the full-blown Carlito heel turn with the two Backstabbers on the floor. Hey, wait a minute, wouldn't those hurt Carlito as much as Flair? Well, if so, he no sold it as much as Flair sold it, which was considerable. Then there was the apple spitting and all which is always a nice touch and I'm happy to see it back. I loved how the crowd reacted as they sounded like they wanted Carlito dead. In fact it would seem that there were indeed fans that actually wanted Carlito dead as right after Carlito spit in Flair's face, a woman in the first row yelled (loudly I might add), "I hope you choke on your apple." That's some Freebird's in World Class type heat right there.
puRgatory:
Randy Orton - Randy Orton reminded us that he is indeed the "legend killer". I had a lot of trouble placing this as it wasn't really anything special and it was very short, but it did its job. Orton gets in the ring and briefly says some stuff that leads to a video package of his Concussing Shawn Michaels and being a total rat in their match and afterward. While the match at Judgment Day was terrible, this little video package brought back the rage of Randy Orton and focused it without the brutality that was the actual match. I thought that earned him at least a spot in puRgatory this week for simply reminding us of why we were supposed to hate him in the first place.
Tag Team Brawl - There are a few things about the tag match this week that I didn't like but overall I felt that it did an important job. It made the tag division look important and that is something WWE needs to be striving toward. Not only did they introduce a new combination in Dykstra and Nitro, they also showed that the Redneck face turn was the real deal as they came to the rescue after The Hardyz were getting beat down by the WGTT and Dykstra/Nitro. While I am unsure of whether Nitro and Dykstra will be a legitimate team, I think that using them to involve the other three teams in important in rebuilding tag team wrestling on Raw. If they are going to keep those two together, I hope they find a reason for them being together in the first place. My first reaction to Nitro and Dykstra was, "Why Dykstra?" A little backstory on why they are teaming together against the tag champs would have been helpful and likely would have moved this up into a better spot in the 4R's.
Umaga is a Samoan Savage! - Despite all the overload of Lashley and Vince, I thought that Umaga really did a great job of keeping his character looking like a savage. After the match he had with Lashley it didn't matter that he had lost the match but that he was standing tall over Lashley and getting the approval of Mr. McMahon. This stuff probably would have gone better with Estrada, but I'm not complaining, I'll take whatever good I can get with this week's show. It didn't end there for Umaga though, during the Lashley vs. Shane match, Umaga was in full "kill" mode as he wanted to destroy Lashley with a chair, but Vince and Shane stopped him. The best part was Umaga's reaction to them stopping him. He gave them a look that said, "Why stop? You want me to kill Lashley. I KILL LASHLEY!" It was solid stuff that was a bright spot in an otherwise lackluster series of matches.
The wRong:
Too Much Lashley… Again - Last week Larry discussed that we are simply getting too much Bobby Lashley. It's almost as if the WWE's writers read what he wrote and decided to do the exact opposite of what he was trying to communicate that he wished they'd stop doing. Seriously, did we need four Lashley matches on one show? Hell no we didn't. This whole storyline is beginning to feel a lot like DX vs. McMahon's from last year. Handicapped matches, gauntlets and Vince getting embarrassed is the exact formula of DX vs. Shane and Vince. It was nice of them to not have another handicapped match, but a gauntlet isn't too far off. The only thing saving this from "Ridiculous" is that they had the courtesy of breaking up the gauntlet throughout the show. This is pretty major seeing as this was a majority of this week's show and it showed that Lashley simply isn't ready to carry a brand by himself. I won't even get into the fact that he's an ECW wrestler, I've reserved a spot in "Ridiculous" for that.
Candice vs. Melina - As much as I'd love to do this, I think it needs to be done. Candice honey, I'm going to come visit you and show you exactly what "don't" means when it comes to wrestling attire. I appreciate her effort and that she is actually taking the in ring aspect of the business seriously, but come on Candice! She came out in a very skimpy top, and while that is great for my eyes, it ruined the match. Candice was so preoccupied with her top that she was adjusting it while being in a chokehold and several other times throughout the match. Don't get me wrong, she looked great, but that outfit would have suited a T&A match more than an actual wrestling match. I have to give credit to them for doing whatever it took to make it look like the two hated each other. Melina chokes were great and if Candice hadn't been distracted by her breasts potentially falling out of her top, they would have looked a hell of a lot better.
The Ridiculous
Timbaland w/ The Hives Music Video - Exactly why this music video had to take up time on this show is beyond me. I guess it's a marketing strategy by Timbaland, but it sure as hell doesn't belong on Raw. It wouldn't have been so bad if they hadn't wasted time introducing the video. While it's always nice to see attractive girls dressing seductively, all they did was stand there while Ashley cut a long-winded introduction. They could have just gone with the old standard of J.R. introducing the video in a few short words. Funny thing is that I actually liked the video, but I would have been much happier watching 5 more minutes of Flair vs. Carlito and the psychology in that match.
Khali's interpreter - When Khali began speaking through an interpreter, the first thing I thought of was that infamous interview on WCW's Clash of the Champions XI. It was that terrible interview where Gary Michael Cappetta did an interview in Spanish with El Gigante (Giant Gonzalez) and then translated it back into English. It was atrocious then and it's atrocious now. Can't they pretend that ARMANDO ALEJANDRO ESTRRRRRRRRRRRADA can speak fluent Hindi? That guy is a great mouthpiece; the guy translating for Khali is the very definition of the word inadequate. I don't see what is so difficult about doing with Khali what ECW did with Sabu. It's a lot easier just having a guy sending his message through a beating than actually saying something. Keep both of them away from a microphone completely. Nobody needs to hear Khali for the guy to get over, he's huge for goodness sake, leave it at that.
Is this ECW or Raw? - I'm all for blurring the lines of the brand extension, but this was Ridiculous. How can they expect people to care about their champions when they have shows like this one? Ok, so Vince is the ECW champ, that's the first thing wrong with this scenario. Second is that on RAW this week, the ECW champ took up about half the show in a storyline also featuring a former ECW champ. So where is the WWE champ John Cena, the champion of the show we are watching? He was getting beat down in 2 minutes by The Great Khali after about 3 to 5 minutes of talking. Why can't Lashley run the gauntlet on ECW? Sure it'd likely take up the whole show, but honestly, it seems like that show has run several times before exclusively on one storyline (Originals vs. New Breed). Why can't they do that with this storyline, it would seem the better place for it. It isn't like anybody not named Burke or Punk is getting a push on that show anyways, they really should try it out just once.
ECW on Sci-Fi!:
ECW on Sci-Fi!: 5.22.07:
The Right:
Thorn continues on his own path… - This was week two of Kevin Thorn on his own, and while it was nothing but a squash match, I like that they are taking the time to reestablish him as a singles act. They actually explained that Ariel was gone because Thorn wanted to be a complete individualist, just put for himself. It was a bit on the lame side, but at least they addressed it. I still hate that she is gone. But what can you do. It was about 90-seconds, and he killed this man. They renamed the Dark Kiss "Original Sin" which I like, and he had a much better way to get into the move than he used to, less convoluted and that is a nice sign to see from him. So far so good, I just hope Thorn has the skills to back up an upcoming push.
puRgatory:
Striker proves himself - Matt Striker found himself in the doghouse still this week and Young Elijah told him that he had to prove himself by going out there and winning his match against one of the Major Brothers. So he went out there and faced off with young Brett Major, and they had a fine match for 3 minutes and 30 seconds or so. But the end was really rough as he blew some kind of neck breaker, and get another neck breaker, which looked odd and not like it hurt. It was a really bad roll of the dice. I mean, that and the overdrive/play maker are the finishers of the 2000's, every generic guy uses it at one time or another. Anyway, I liked the redemption, Striker celebrated like he won at WrestleMania and yelled, "I TOLD YOU I COULD DO IT," which was great. But the fact is it was very rough at the end, and just didn't look great. Also, you give the Majors one fluke win and are now killing them and now they have absolutely no cred. I mean, let these guys beat some jobbers or something to make them look important, instead they are killing them off so when they go to a show with actual tag teams, they will mean…or yeah, jack and shit. Maybe this should be a wrong.
The Main Event - The match itself was fine. They all worked well together, minus minor miscommunications, but it worked. The DQ was fine on one hand because Punk, Burke and Monty shouldn't be losing, and Monty getting DQ'ed shows he is unstoppable, not controllable, I like that. But with RVD on his way out, he could have taken the loss here and really should have since these guys are staying around. Burke in particular could have used the pin since he just lost on PPV. The other thing is that outside of Punk and Burke, how did this help build the PPV coming in under 2 weeks? It didn't, poor planning again I feel.
The wRong:
Recapping Lashley-Mania from Raw - Thanks, I slept through it on Monday. I started to fall asleep again Tuesday, 2 for 2 WWE! Pretty sad that the challenger for the ECW Title and the "ECW Champion" are too good for ECW these days. YAY WWE!
…End Sarcasm~!
Snitsky vs. Dreamer - It appears as if Snitsky will work his way through the Originals. Killed Sandman, beat down RVD and will kill him at ONS III and beat Dreamer here. Dreamer got more time than Sandman, but in the end he lost and lost handily to GENE. The match was, well, not good. As most Snitsky matches, minus the RVD one, this was bad. Dreamer is slow and while he worked to sell good for him, Snitsky is just so bad. Hell, Khali has more potential than him after the deal with Cena. It wasn't good, and I dread the title program up coming. Unless something major changes, I will still think the same way about Snitsky and that is this. I do not now, nor will I ever give a flying fuck about Snitsky. I appreciate the attempted make over, but no about of squashes will make me consider him a threat, or even a good wrestler, and I am not talking about in ring technique per say, the overall package is what I mean. As I wrote last week, maybe if they would have started with him doing squashes at the beginning I could have gotten into this. Or maybe if he had never been brought up to the main roster when he was and he debuted now I could get into the character, but I just can't do it. He doesn't look scary really, just ugly with bad steroid acne. I am not buying him as a threat, I am not buying the character. He is there because he is big, Afa trained him and Vince has his fetish. I expect a world title run for him, joy.
The Ridiculous:
Timbaland w/The Hives and Ho's Music Video I have to totally agree with Adamson during the Raw R's, but to a worse degree here. ECW is a ONE-HOUR show and they constantly waste time with the tits and ass brigade, the Nitro Girls 2k7 if you will. And the reason that this is SUCH a big wrong and actually into the ridiculous this week is because they cannot afford to fuck around. SNME is on June 2nd, and will be taped on MONDAY and they should have been setting shit up for that. The ONS III PPV is the NEXT DAY on the 3rd. And besides them getting Vince and Lashley settled on Raw, they did little to nothing to build that show. Nope, instead we got Timbaland's Sin City spoof video wasting my time and making me hate watching wrestling. Good job creative!
…END SARCASM~!
READER RANTS~!
From 411's Scotty Flamingo on Sacrifice
You gotta tell me where you are buying your crack from! Seriously though, I cannot fathom how you can say that the main even was a Wrong. At the very least it was a purgatory. You are focusing way too much on the ending. You knew it was coming because of the whole NWA situation. I thought it was a really good match up until the end, and if we are gonna judge matches by bad endings, then the first Hell In A Cell sucked because it was ruined by Kane's interference, and HBK Vs Mankind at Mind games was a bad match because of how it ended. I don't think anyone will say that about either. Was it the best match ever? No. But all three guys worked good. My only complaint was that it was too short. As for the rest, there may have been some matches that weren't as hot as they could be, like the X-Division 4 way, but I don't think anything was booked so bad as to hurt anyone except for the Basham match. And for every match with mediocre booking, there was something that was well booked, like Roode/Jarrett.
From Cornucopia on Sacrifice and other stuff -
Kangaroo's are pretty boss. But they box, they don't wrestle. Also, Stomper, or whatever they call it, looks completely stoned. Look at those eyes. Look at those crooked whiskers. He's totally strung out. When I put it that way, I kinda like him. As for what he will do financially for TNA... let's just hope they haven't invested too much money in Stomper shirts, hats, wristbands, thongs, etc... Come to think of it, I'd totally wear a shirt with that stoner's face on it. It only gets more amusing the longer you look at it.
For so long I was forced, by the WWF(E) or, depending on whom you ask, Vince McMahon, to see Mr.Ass's ass on television. Now I am forced to see Kip James perform like ass every time he hits the screen in TNA. It's hard to tell you which version I prefer. Poor wrestling and lame promos don't quite get the attention, or should I say embarrassment, that a man's bare ass heralds. Especially from the 'non-wrestling' crowd. Whether they grimace in pain, look away in disgust, or just awkwardly sit there and try to accept it as part of the 'Attitude', I always dreaded hearing first few twangs of the "I'm an assman" song because I knew certain embarrassment would follow. Billy Gunn's ass made me ashamed to be watching wrestling. Kip James's bad promos and crappy wrestling make me wonder why they haven't fired him yet. But wondering why a never-was like Kip James is still booked on PPV is better than having to explain to your buddies why Billy Gunn's ass is being shown in three different camera angles. I'll take the lesser of two evils. As long as the matches stay short...
From Chris on Edge's loss on Raw -
I think everyone is missing the point with the clean loss on Raw this week. He's a cowardly, cheating, weaker-than-most heel, who's only the champion because he worked the system. He didn't earn the belt, he didn't beat anyone clean for the belt... hell, the only person he's gone over clean in the past few months is Randy Orton...
People are missing the forest for the trees on this one. In everyone's jump to defend the honor of smackdown, you're forgetting the fact that Edge losing to HBK actually reinforces his character, and adds to his heat on his way to smackdown.
He's a fluke champion, who used every nefarious way to weasel his way to the top, and losing clean to HBK proves that fact, and reinforces the fact that he's a coward, and doesn't deserve to hold the title, which is exactly the character he's supposed to be playing. He's going to cheat at every turn, never go over clean, and hold the belt this way until the fans are rabid for a title change over on the blue brand... and when Kennedy, or Batista, or whoever finally manages to out-smart or just out class Edge for the big win, it's going to be tremendous for whoever finally does it.
I can understand where people are coming from in complaining about this, but I for one think that Edge losing clean on Raw was the best thing they could have done for business and Edge's character. It adds to his heat. And his credibility is supposed to be next to nothing, because he's not a 'better wrestler' than everyone else on the brand, he cheated and weaseled his way to the belt. He's not supposed to be a credible champion... that's the whole point. That's the character.
And finally from Manu on ECW and Sacrifice -
I think you missed one wRong on ECW - this week, ECW used the SD set instead of the ECW set (big fist, etc). Although, there was a ramp there, which SD hasn't used in a while, but I'm assuming that ramp will be used on SD as well, since I can't imagine them lifting the entire SD set and adding a ramp just for ECW. I'm surprised the apron didn't say "Smackdown!"
ya know what i found funny? the Orlando crowd first screamed "get the tables!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" then chanted "same old shit"....the Orlando crowd is starting to get on my nerves.
And as far as the 3D hate - people were getting tired of them back in the WWE, until ECW: ONS 2005, where all of a sudden the Dudley's became the victims of a poor creative team. we know they're capable of good stuff, so, even though i think their feud with LAX sucked, i wont give up hope on them.
as for the steiners/3D match - i saw the first one, in fact, i attended the show specifically for that match (and can send u a link to the vids and pics i took, if you want), and yeah, not a classic by any means, but still worth it, just because it had never happened before. hopefully this feud won't last too long, because wrestling nostalgia is fleeting.
"Roode vs. Jarrett - Robert Roode and Jeff Jarrett had their match on the show. It was actually supposed to go on in the semi-main spot, but JJ had to head back to be with his wife, who is in poor health. "
Really? Wow. I liked the match exactly where it was, and thought the semi-main they picked (Joe/styles) was a MUCH better choice for that spot, so in the end, it worked out for the best.
And yes, my thoughts are with JJ and his wife. I cant even imagine what its like to go through that, and for JJ the person, and his wife and family, I hope for the best.
