The Ominous Thoughts News Report 6.03.07
Posted by Sam Caplan on 06.03.2007
One Night Stand is tonight, and I think I'm the only person who thinks it sounds like a good card. Plus, my analysis of the CENA-KILLINGS CONFRONTATION!!
Due to extensive activities in my real life this week and the research for the ROH feature, I came up a little short on time and this is going to be a shorter than usual column, only one PPV review this week. I GUARANTEE that there'll be more next week, but for right now I do have plenty to talk about with JR's blogs, tonight's PPV, and other stuff, so let's get to it.
The Real News
You know, there are some weeks that are just really slow news weeks. This is one of those weeks. Ladies and gentlemen, our top news story this week is that John Cena and Ron Killings got into an argument at an airport.
So this is it, huh folks?
Anyway, I did find it to be an amusing situation, so here goes. Apparently unbeknownst to nearly everyone, Ron Killings has been making these crappy low-budget videos in which he basically runs down John Cena and calls him a poser. Cena is one of the people these videos were knownst to, and when he was on his way to Canada for Raw this week after making a public appearance in Charlotte, North Carolina, he saw Ron Killings (who lives in Charlotte and was on his way to the TNA Impact taping) at about 7am at Charlotte Douglas International Airport and decided to go have a word with his buddy. Word is that Cena approached Killings and they had words, after which they went their separate ways without any physical confrontation.
Oh wait, you thought that was it? No my friend, there's more! Within hours of news of this confrontation spreading, Ron Killings had the following statement posted on his MySpace page:
"John Cena did'nt approach me "Ron Killings" about sh$%# at the airport,,infact,,this is second run in that we've had..First one was kind of a calling his bluff type thang....even tryin to comunicate with him to see what's up with what i've been hearing,,also all the interviews he did supposely calling me out..Big Mistake,,Then he leaves voice messages on my cell talking about battleing me and about thrashing my a**,,not to mention people he's done interviews with tell me John Cena wanted us to call you so he could battle you.....Man Please!! He did what he should've done,,and that's nothing!!I wish he would try to play that battle rap sh$%# with me,,I'll just eat his a** alive,and spit and sh#$% out the pieces i dont like,,Just like I told him,, He's a Punk ass,,rap wanna be ME!"
Okay, putting aside Ron's poor grammar and interesting approach to capitalization, let's take a look at the whole picture here. On the one hand, you've got the wildly successful and (in some quarters) wildly popular WWE Champion who, in addition to being the top star for the top promotion in the business, is the one face non-fans are likely to know when it comes to today's WWE wrestlers. WWE Champion, movie star, and pseudo-pop culture celebrity. Then on the other hand you've got Ron Killings who, despite having all the potential in the world, never amounted to shit in this business despite being a two-time NWA World Champion, coincidentally at a time when the NWA Title meant nearly nothing. If you took Ron Killings and had him walk down the street, ten out of ten people would have no fucking clue who he is. This seems like just another instance of some jackoff in TNA trying to make a name for themselves as the expense of an established WWE name, and it will have exactly the same result that the others did, which is that the WWE guy ignores him. Throw in the fact that Ron Killings, instead of even getting some friggin' time on TNA Impact, is shooting on Cena on YouTube and MySpace, and the whole thing just makes Killings look like an asshole.
I think a big part of this is that Ron Killings looks at the situation and says "Wait a minute, Cena's a hip hop guy who freestyles and has no wrestling talent and he's the WWE Champion. I was in WWE before him, I can freestyle better, and I'm ten times better a worker, and I'm scratching for crumbs in the second-tier promotion. That could have been me. This sucks!" That's right, Killings is just bitter because Cena did what he couldn't with half the talent. Sorry, Ron, that's just the way the cookie crumbles.
Ross's Roundup
Jim had a staggering FOUR blogs this week, so let's dig in and see what we come up with:
Kumar- Yes, a Steamboat DVD is on the drawing board and no, I don't know the release date.
Well, I guess we can all go start masturbating now.
Rob- I have no clue if Eric Bischoff will ever be back on TV in an on-camera role for the WWE, but it would not surprise me, IF the role made sense to all involved. Bischoff is a busy man with numerous, potentially lucrative projects going on outside the ring.
Bischoff doesn't seem to me to be the type of guy who's interested in being brought back just to be made a fool of. It'll have to be something worth his time for him to even consider a return.
Black Scorpion- As I have mentioned before, Ole Anderson was approached about being a part of the Four Horsemen DVD, but declined.
Declined, meaning he shit on the contract and mailed it back to WWE, then went there himself and pissed on Vince's desk before keying his car.
Derrick- No, the 1999 creative storyline for me to physically attack Michael Cole was not my idea and if it was, I would admit to you that it was not one of my better brainstorms to be extremely kind. The whole "separate little announce table," etc., was sort of silly from my perspective, however some folks may have been entertained by it. I did not hate it, but it simply wasn't my cup of tea.
I wasn't entertained at all, in fact I thought it was pretty disturbing to see a not-yet fully recovered Jim Ross thrust on TV so we all could see what he looked and sounded like after an attack. Definitely a poor decision.
Len- Several men would make good "final opponents" for Randy Savage. Steamboat, Hogan, Flair, or perhaps even some of the younger guys looking to "notch their gun." There are few wrong answers to this question as it would simply be who would have the best presentation with the Macho Man at that given time. Randy's most memorable rivalry in my eyes was with Hulk. Also many people wrote us about Savage not being a part of the Wrestlemania 23 promotion. For most Savage fans, no answer will satisfy you so I won't even try and I honestly don't know the answer to begin with. Perhaps we can all look forward to seeing Randy in a higher profile role in the future. I don't know either way, but I do often wonder if Savage even wants to be a part of a WWE spotlight again, including the Hall of Fame much less have a wrestling match at this stage of his life. Has he publicly responded to this matter? If so, someone let us know. Randy may be like the great Bruno Sammartino, who is perfectly happy with his life as it is and is not bitter about anything.
There's definitely bad blood between WWE and Randy Savage, but from what I've heard it's on both sides, and he's in Warrior Warrior level unlikelihood of ever making another WWE appearance.
Mike- Breast implants are not mandatory for a Diva to gain employment in the WWE, but I suggest to you that the King would think they should be. However, if breast implants become mandatory for announcers, I'm out. Natural man boobs on guys my age are scary enough to contemplate.
Yes, big breasts are not required in much the same way that you're as likely to get a push if you're under 6'3" and 250 lbs.
Sean- I would suggest that with the injury situation as it is in the WWE, that the future of DX is somewhat in jeopardy. I don't have your answer, but my instincts tell me that when they are healthy, HBK and HHH will remain allies, but will do their own thing. Again, that is merely a guess on my part. Regarding Steve Austin, he appears on Raw when he is called upon to do so. Steve enjoys being back on RAW when asked, and loves the occasional, cold beverage with "the boys."
Nah, they'll be back together as soon as possible. WWE was making too much money from the reunion to just give up on it like that.
Jake- the WWE covets every time they are in the hallowed halls of Madison Square Garden. If the WWE isn't at MSG enough to make you happy, it is not a conspiracy but merely a lack of available dates in the Garden, plus the financial arrangements for "The World's Most Famous Arena" are challenging at best, to be kind. I think we are back there for a Raw in August.
That's too bad, because it is WWE's home arena, and also my own hometown arena. Tell you what though, this pretty much guarantees a sellout when they do run, and I think that might be part of the decision as well because their last few shows there before MSG raised the price drew terrible crowds, and I was there to see them.
Angelo- Will Sean Waltman ever return to the WWE? He's a helluva hand, but I don't know the answer. I am not even sure if Sean wants to go back on the road full time like he would have to do. Nonetheless, Waltman is a talented and bright wrestler who, in my opinion, has not burned his bridge in the WWE – but what do I know?
I think he'd like to come back, but he's got way too much baggage at this point. He's not old, but he's not getting any younger, either.
Rick- Who was better; The Midnight Express or the Rock ‘n Roll Express? That's like asking me if I like brisket better than pulled pork. I can't answer this one, or I won't answer this one, as both teams, and let's not leave out the incomparable Jim Cornette, were awesome in their day and would be printing money if they were in their prime today. Any young tag team or wannabe tag team that doesn't study these two teams closely doesn't really want to be successful. Their classic battles are like text books on how to be the best tag-team wrestlers.
Easy answer: the Midnight Express. No, the teenage girls didn't pop for them like they did for Ricky and Robert, but they were the better team and also had Cornette.
Roger- The Northeast influence on the wrestling business is significant. The major markets of NYC, Philly, Boston, Washington D.C., etc. all contributed mightily to the history of the business. Every top wrestling star, with few exceptions, wrestled in the Northeast at one time or another. "New York" was THE territory to work, according to tons of "old timers" I have talked to over the years. Some of the business' biggest stars made the Northeast their home base, including legends like Bruno Sammartino and Gorilla Monsoon, among others. I never knew one single wrestler when I started in the business in the 70's, who did not want to get the opportunity to have at least "one run" in the Northeast. Even today, I know some truly legendary wrestlers who were huge stars all over the world, but still regret the fact that they "never got a chance to work at the Garden."
The reason the Northeast was the top territory was because it had all the media exposure that you just didn't get down south and out west in the sticks. If you were on TV in New York, everyone knew who you were and you were an instant star.
BD- What does J.R. "mean to the higher up's" in the WWE? I'm not sure what you are looking for with this question, but I obviously mean enough at this time to still be sitting at ringside for the company's top TV show, episode # 730 this week, and the WWE just inducted me into the WWE Hall of Fame, so I would assume I mean something. That's a question someone else will have to answer. I have zero issues on how things are going on my behalf, and I hope to continue to work with the WWE for years to come. I assure you that if the company did not want me around, I would not be employed there, bottom line. Trust me on that one. Plus, you can't believe what you read sometimes about me being imminently replaced or that I will be turned out to pasture when my current contract expires, etc. No one who reports this B.S. has interviewed me nor anyone else in a decision making position in the WWE, I would strongly suspect, but are simply relying on "sources say" and the word of "insiders" who want to feel important by making assumptions and getting themselves quoted on some website. We all know what happens when we assume…. we make an ass out of u and me. I am very happy with my career and what I am doing these days. I still love going to work and when the fun ceases… I will tag out.
Oh, so you mean getting beat up constantly, set on fire, thrown on TV after a Bell's Palsy attack, and having your intestinal surgery mocked in a TV segment was fun? Glad to hear you like that Jim, because I wouldn't.
Scott- Would Ron Simmons make a good manager, you asked? "DAMN!" I don't see why not.
While my initial reaction was "HELL no", I remember that Ron was a pretty good promo guy during the Nation Of Domination days, so if he got the right group (aka not the Major Brothers) it could work.
Marilyn- Should the WWE "give up" on women's matches? Not in my opinion, and for the record, you just caused my pal, TV's "Uncle Jerry" The King Lawler to faint. The Divas do sell more sizzle than steak… no pun intended… but also add to the show in the opinion of most. Obviously not you, but most.
I'll just shake my head and walk away now.
It's always nice to visit Toronto, but it is always even better to get back to Oklahoma as the old saying is definitely true, that there is no place like home, thank you very much Dorothy.
Like I said, I was there last weekend and it was a great vacation, I love Toronto.
The WWE Draft on June 11 in Wilkes Barre, which is already sold out, and should be an interesting night, as apparently several superstars will be getting new addresses. These are interesting times, as far as I am concerned, because new wrestlers create new matchups with the incumbents, which freshens up the product. I have no preferences as to who comes to RAW and I assume The King and I will stay on RAW, or at least I sure hope so. I have no desire to leave Monday Night RAW, and neither does the King. I don't think any of the announce teams should be included in the draft. A change of scenery can be a good thing, especially for wrestlers who need new opposition. The draft, as far as fans are concerned will no doubt be a source of plenty of debate and discussion as the draft itself, is a subjective matter to say the least. The "wrestling media" will have a field day with this matter and I can almost guarantee you that the draft will be over-analyzed and pre-judged even before it has a chance to settle in, because that's what the "wrestling media" does. Controversy creates (cash and) website traffic which is not a bad thing. Get ready for this subject to be beaten to death over the next several weeks. I do not know who is being drafted to where and will be as surprised as anybody as it happens on live TV.
WWE traditionally keeps the draft choices under heavy wraps, and I think Raw's going to draw a good rating that night for sure.
Someone emailed us and asked if Tully Blanchard would ever become a full time color analyst in the WWE and knowing I have zilch to do with hiring those people – I don't know the answer. But based on Tully's extremely short lived WWE tenure of a few months ago, I seriously doubt it.
I would doubt it also, Tully seems to have burned his bridges with nearly everyone.
Site visitor, "Yep," stated that I was not encouraging an "open dialog" with the fans who visit our site. He cited that I talked about my favorite cold beer when asked about it, but refused to discuss Batista being an alleged bully backstage and abusive to many of the Divas. I wonder how "Yep" knows this rumor to be true? Do you think that "Yep" actually is backstage to witness such alleged unprofessional behavior? Highly unlikely, but "Yep" is obviously a reader and believer of what he sees on selected internet sites, etc. Whatever. This site is not, and it will not, become a site to perpetuate unfounded, negative gossip as other site's already have the market cornered on that. I don't enjoy spreading rumors or negativity. Do I know any negative stories or embarrassing information on "the stars"? Hell yes, but what do I prove by sharing that manure with anyone in this particular forum? If this site isn't fulfilling people like "Yep's" needs for info or entertainment, I strongly suggest "Yep" and others like him simply not log on. Sorry, but I like writing about interesting things, personal experiences, stories of the road, my fun times in wrestling, football, Bar-B-Q, grilling, pop culture and life in general and not all the negative crap that some are completely obsessed with. I don't even care to see, nor do I see, the comments that don't make the site because they are either profane or just down-right mean and overly negative – or a combination of both. Case closed…. end of that story. Soap box stored.
I'll agree with Jim here, as much as we'd all love to hear who's screwing who and who's a junkie, it invalidates everything else that's reported when you report on stuff like that. It's one of the reasons I always scrolled past Hyatte's list of smokers and potheads, it really doesn't have any bearing on the product we're watching.
Some have asked if I think Paul Heyman will ever start another wrestling company. This is almost laughable. Paul is done with investing in wrestling companies and has a variety of other projects he is working on at the present time. Does that mean Heyman is through with the wrestling business? I don't have an answer to that one, but I would suggest that he is, to any large degree.
Interesting answer. I wonder if this is also directed at people who think Paul would make a great TNA booker?
No, wrestlers should not be given credit for moves they miss nor should they be damned for missing them either. The annoying chants of "You F*&^%$ Up" when an athlete misses a maneuver ranks high up on the list of the "dumbass chant chart."
I hate the "YOU FUCKED UP" chant too, it just makes the match turn awkward in much the same way as happens when somebody goes up to a couple and starts talking about their past sexual exploits.
What's In Stu's VCR?
This week, I go back to the NWA in 1989 and look at Chi-Town Rumble, a show which featured a main event of Ric Flair against Ricky Steamboat in a match that is often forgotten because, though it is a strong match on its own, is often unfavorably compared to the second and third matches in the series that would stretch across the first half of 1989. But today, let's look at that match based on its own merits, and the entire show while we're at it.
-CTR opened with Michael "PS" Hayes yaking on Russian Assassin #1, aka Jack Victory under a mask. Let me tell you something, generic masked jobbers should not be booked to go 15 minutes. Makes everyone look silly. Hayes was crazy over and won with the DDT.
-Sting defeated Butch Reed in a match that seemed to drag on just a bit too long. I will say that Reed was an underrated power wrestler and that he could have made at least a credible TV Champion. They were killing me with the chinlocks here.
-Up next was an angle I fucking loved, the Midnight Express vs Midnight Express angle. Here's the story: Bobby Eaton and Stan Lane had bee wrestling as the Midnight Express along with manager Jim Cornette, but in 1988, Paul E Dangerously came to the NWA with original Midnight Express members Dennis Condrey and Randy Rose, both were great teams, but there was only room for one Midnight Express in the NWA, so a six man with Cornette, Lane and Eaton against Dangerously, Condrey, and Rose was made for this show with the loser of the fall leaving the NWA. However, Condrey no-showed the PPV, so the outcome wasn't in much doubt once the match started. Sure enough, Rose went down for the count and the OME was gone for good.
-Now we get the historic first appearance of Scott Steiner in the NWA at the side of his brother, TV Champion Rick Steiner. Scott filled us in on the accident Rick was in years ago which "made him this way", then accompanied Rick to ringside. This was a pretty good slow, methodical mat wrestling match that was pretty even. Rotunda briefly took control after Steiner missed a top rope splash (!), but Rick came back in short order and caught Rotunda in a sleeper. However, Rick cranked back on the sleeper so far that his own shoulders were down on the mat, and he ended up pinning himself. That was a big downer for the crowd.
-Now it's time for the long-awaited match between Barry Windham and Lex Luger for the US Title. Luger and Windham were the NWA World Tag Team Champions, but Windham turned on Luger and joined the Horsemen about a year before this, then a month or so later went on to win the US Title in a tournament and held onto it the whole time. For whatever reason, they never did the blowoff match between them until now, and coincidentally this was Windham's last NWA appearance before heading to the WWF for a very short stint as the Widowmaker. Luger missed a top rope crossbody (what's with all these high flying moves from the stiffs tonight?) and they went outside, but Luger ducked a punch from Windham and Windham ended up cracking the ringpost and severely injuring his hand in the process, basically screwing his entire offense. He tried the claw (which was his finisher at the time), but Luger was able to escape due to the injury, and also kicked out of Windham's superplex, but Luger got his shoulder up on the German Suplex spot (which wasn't way cliched at that time) and got the win and the US Title. This is a good example of using someone to put others over on the way out the door. Rob Van Dam, take note.
-Up next, the Road Warriors defeated Kevin Sullivan and Steve Williams, and I have to say that until I started really looking at this old NWA stuff, I never realized what a wrecking machine Sullivan was. God help you if you went to the outside with this guy. I think it's a real shame that Williams never got a real main event run because I think his style and power would have made him a big star in the late 80s and early 90s. Well, he did okay in Japan I guess. He was one of the few guys you could accept as tough enough to go toe to toe with the Road Warriors, and that's what he did here, but the match ended with the double pin spot. However, Hawk was the legal man and pinned Williams, so the Road Warriors get the win.
-And now it's main event time, as NWA Woirld Champion Ric Flair, champion for 14 months at this point, defends against old rival Ricky Steamboat. You'd probably never believe how great of shape Flair was in at this point, he actually looked like a real wrestler instead of a saggy old man. This was a great, psychologically sound, grueling match between two guys who were in there for one reason: to be the World Champion. The thing about the Flair-Steamboat matches is that they weren't about doing cool spots, it was about two guys having a really tough, taxing match that was so close that it could go either way at any time. In this match, they were killing each other with chops, and to my surprise Flair actually hit a move off the top rope, in this case a high crossbody, but Steamboat rolled through for two. Flair was in full on cheating bastard mode, making liberal use of the ropes when he had Steamboat in the figure four and then again later when going for a pin. Finally, the ref got bumped when he got in the way of a Steamboat bodypress, and then Flair tried a rollup with the tights, but again there was no ref. Steamboat missed a second bodypress and Flair tried for the figure four, but Steamboat caught him with an inside cradle and a second ref came in and made the three count, giving Steamboat his first and only World Title, which he celebrated by bringing his wife and son into the ring to share in the moment.
Overall this was a typical NWA PPV at the time, with the first few matches being totally disposable, but then with a good to great midcard and a rocking Ric Flair match in the main event. Good stuff.
I FUCKING LOVE FEEDBACK!!!
Got some great emails this week, so let's kick off the main topic of discussion, Undertaker's Wrestlemania streak, with the ubiquitous John Bryant:
Every LEGEND or future hall of famer has their gimmicks or their select quirks that make them, well them. I mean the Rock has his sunglasses and his ability to be a total ass to the fans' other favorites and STILL be cheered. Mick Foley has his sick obsession with Hardcore matches,thumbtacks and barbed wire 2 by 4s included, as well as the fact that he lost an ear,to Vader I think it was, Stone Cold has the fact that he won't hesitate to stomp his own bosses' ass and drink a 24-pack in the short time it takes to do so. and The Undertaker has his match creations and Wrestlemania. face it in the past decade and a half WM has become symnomus with Undertaker. I mean if they were to put any believable person over the UT then I would personally chose HBK because he's one of the few legends remaining that UT has never faced at Wrestlemania, and it would be a believable Legend vs Legend match. but I think the UT will retire undefeated at Wrestlemania because that's his shtick, he's undefeated at the biggest show of them all because he's the biggest legend of them all.
I guess I see what you're saying, but if Undertaker ever does lose, I definitely wouldn't have it be to Shawn Michaels. Not that I wouldn't love to see it happen, but I think that'd be something better saved for the next "Golden Boy" and not someone who's Undertaker's equal.
David Crossan chimes in with his thoughts:
They already ruined the one match that would really make me think if taker would lose his streak. That would have been Edge vs.. Taker however since Edge lost this year in MITB III I know Taker will be the only undefeated star at Mania ever.
I agree, they should have had Edge win MITB (especially in hindsight with the way things played out) because I think Edge vs Undertaker, streak vs streak, would have made a great story and Edge would have been the perfect person to go over Undertaker if anyone ever does.
Brandon Ray has a correction on Undertaker's 1999-2000 hiatus:
Hey, I just read your column about Undertaker's undefeated streaks, and I really enjoyed the reading. I do agree with what matches you said weren't good and which ones were, especially the ones with HHH, Randy Orton, and even Diesel. However, you mentioned that at Wrestlemania 16, they held off Undertaker's return even though he was healthy enough, and I've heard differently. I can't remember where I read it, but I heard he was suppose to return a couple of months prior to that at the Royal Rumble, but right when he was about to return, like the day before the Royal Rumble, he injured himself, he hurt his bicep or something like that, I really can't remember, and so he took time off to recover from that injury and did not return until Judgment Day in the Iron Man Match. I could be wrong on all that, but I thought I read it in a wrestling magazine. Also I just checked wikipedia, and they said he was suppose to return at Wrestlemania, but they say he hurt his bicep. So I'm not sure if he was suppose return at the Royal Rumble or at Wrestlemania, but either way, right before he was about to return, he got injured again and had to be held off until Judgment Day for his return. Hopefully that sounds right. Again, great column. Later.
YOU'RE RIGHT! Damn, I totally forgot about that. Well, consider me corrected.
Ivan Rodriguez echoes the sentiments of most others:
Great article as always, Stuart.
I don't think the Undertaker should ever lose at WrestleMania. This should be his legacy when he retires. It doesn't matter if they have a hot up-and-comer that they need to get over. You've got HBK or Mr. Trips for that. If Taker would have lost to Batista at this past mania, I vowed to stop watching WWE. Probably wouldn't have. But I would have been damn dissapointed. Batista is definitely NOT the guy to go over. I don't think anyone should. As I said, this should be taker's legacy. He probably doesn't need it, he will go down in history as one of the best ever in my opinion, (always been a mark for him, sorry) but I think the undefeated streak would make him immortal.
Thanks, keep it up!!!!
Ivan makes a great point by saying that if you need a top level guy to get someone over at Wrestlemania, we have a lot of other choices besides Undertaker. One more reason to keep him undefeated.
Here's Morgan Castro:
If I had to pick someone to beat the Undertaker at WrestleMania it would have to be Edge considering Edge's record at WrestleMania but Undertaker shouldn't lose at WrestleMania he should retire undeafted.
Edge seems to be the popular choice here, doesn't he?
All the way from Melbourne, Australia (a country I consider to contain some of the coolest people around), here's Aaron Ryan:
I am new to 411mania and I have just come across this article on The Undertaker and his Wrestlemania triumphs. This is a hot topic between my mates and I. They feel he will retire when he loses... However I feel it would be a total waster for him to lose after SO long. Let him retire with being the best! The unbeaten! It seems to be a waste of a career and a legacy to let him leave on a loss!
It's starting to look more and more like the idea of Undertaker losing is not a popular one, is it?
Isaac Yarrell makes an interesting observation:
I think it cool to see that the Undertaker beat the entire Evolution squad at Wrestlemania. If I had to put someone over the Undertaker it would be Kane. Almost passing the torch of the deadman since Kane as starred in scary movies. And the maybe they'll do it like Rock and Austin at Wrestlemania 19. Finally!
I never noticed that Undertaker's beaten all of Evolution at Wrestlemania, but it's true. How do you like that? Huh.
Corey has a question for me:
Hey Stuert, my name is Corey and I'm writing you about that music video. yes i know you didn't like those girls but were the Nitro girls of wcw any better? I mean they did the same thing and didn't add much to the Product. well just thought i would put that out there.
The difference I see between Extreme Expose and the Nitro Girls is that the Nitro Girls were just icing on the cake, they'd dance going to or coming back from commercials or at other points, but we didn't just sit there and watch them dance, the announcers would talk about wrestling-related stuff while they were dancing. Here's something else: the Nitro Girls would only dance for thirty seconds or so while Extreme Expose eats up an entire segment. Finally, while Nitro had two or three hours and plenty of time to piss away on the Nitro Girls, especially once Thunder came along, ECW only has an hour each week and really don't have time to spare for the dancing sluts. Good question, though.
Finally, Paul Vandersypen fills me in on a little more Canadian history:
Hey, I'm in Edmonton, so my views on Canada are a bit different than yours, but that's a good thing. I'd just like to point out why "[sic] everybody else in Canada is cooler than those dicks in Quebec."
http://wwp.greenwichpast.com/vip/folk/wolfe.htm
Maj-Gen James Wolfe beat the French in Quebec in 1759, and while he didn't survive the battle, his aides made the horrid mistake of accepting a conditional surrender. The British allowed the French to maintain their language and culture, which to this day plagues our great nation as the "distinct society" crap we deal with every few years.
And finally, not to start a flame war here (too late?) while I agree that Toronto and Torontoians are possibly a better bunch than the Quebecois (I said "possibly" - I have never been to either place) the trouble with everybody in Ontario is that they believe Canada only matters in Quebec and Ontario voting circles, yet here in the west we know that every part of the country is worthwhile. Equally. Which is why east and west don't get along. You are all small minded and territorial, and we are all bigots and couldn't care less about French! Yay, now we are even!!!
Heh heh. Just kidding, and I hope you laugh just a bit at this letter.
That explains a lot. And I thought we had problems trying to order a burger at McDonald's in the US. Any other Canadians, French, Ontario, or otherwise care to chime in with their thoughts? I'd love to hear from you.
Actually, I'd love to hear from everyone else who has anything to say about anything in That Was Then, Friendly Competition, and The Ominous Thoughts News Report or anything else about which you have thoughts you'd like to share. Drop me a note at stuwrestling@hotmail.com.
The Last Word On One Night Stand 2007
ECW...oh, excuse me, WWE One Night Stand is tonight and despite the reaction that's been drawn by the decision to change it from an ECW PPV to a WWE PPV, it's actually looking to have a pretty strong card. I think the real knock against this PPV is that it's happening two weeks after the last one, and nobody except the people who buy every WWE PPV are probably going to be willing to shell out the bucks for it. As crappy as it is of WWE to milk the paying fan out of every dollar they're willing to spend instead of improving the product and drawing more buys that way, the card appears to be an entertaining one on paper.
Of course the main event (in WWE's mind, at least) will see Vince McMahon defending the ECW World Title against Bobby Lashley in a Street Fight. I don't know if I believe that Lashley's going to walk in and just wipe the mat with Vince in two minutes and get his title back, as pleasing a finish as that would be for nearly everyone watching. What I think is far more likely to happen is that Vince will get everyone he's ever met to run in and attack Lashley, and Lashley's going to fight them all off en route to putting Vince away against incredible odds to regain the title. Interesting how not many people are picking Vince to win though, which leads me to believe that there's at least an outside chance that he'll retain. If Vince does win, go give Sat and Mike Minotti a high five because they're the only ones who picked it in the Roundtable. :)
What appears to be even more one-sided is the World Title Match which will see Edge defending against Batista in a steel cage. Not ONE person picked Batista to win this match in the Roundtable, which just goes to show what people think of Batista's credibility with management these days. I can't disagree, and will again point out that if they had any ideas about putting the title back on Batista, it would have probably happened after the Undertaker went down to injury. In fact, with how stale Batista's gotten on Smackdown, I wouldn't be at all shocked if he were to get drafted to Raw following Smackdown.
Speaking of Raw, WWE Champion John Cena will defend against the Great Khali for the second PPV in a row, and in fact face him for the second night in a row, in a Falls Count Anywhere match with no submissions allowed. This means that Cena will not be allowed to use the STFU to beat Khali, but that's okay because I thought it was a stupid way for him to have beaten Khali in the first match. As much as I would love to see Khali get the title (yes, really, I think he'd make a fun monster champion for a month or two) and even though I picked him in the Roundtable, I think the odds are that Cena's going to retain and then have a new challenger emerge after the Draft Lottery...maybe Batista?
In other championship action, the Hardys will defend the World Tag Team Title against The World's Greatest Tag Team in a Ladder Match. I think that this has a good chance of being the best match on the show, but more importantly this is also TWGTT's big chance to prove themselves with a strong showing against the Hardys and show management that they still have the ability to be something other than jobbers. The Hardys have always been more than willing to help their opponents get over no matter what, and especially with some of the great moves Shelton's shown in past Ladder Matches, I think we're in for spotfest heaven here.
Randy Orton will take on Rob Van Dam in what is now scheduled to be Van Dam's final televised appearance in WWE before the expiration of his contract. Putting aside any talk about what will happen with Rob once he's gone, it's pretty apparent that WWE is (wisely) using him to put other people over on his way out the door, and what better person to put over in his final appearance than the guy who's being built up to get fed to the returning Triple H at Summerslam? We're all familiar with Orton's backstage history and I'm not going to try and figure out how he keeps getting pushed now matter how badly he screws up, but I don't see any other result here than an Orton victory.
Also, WWE Women's Champion Melina will face Candice Michelle in a Pudding Match, Kane takes on Mark Henry in a Lumberjack Match (which seems like a silly stipulation for two guys who are so big that the lumberjacks probably shouldn't be able to handle them), and CM Punk will team with ECW Originals Tommy Dreamer and the Sandman to face the New Breed in a Tables Match. Not much to say about any of these matches except that the Tables Match has the potential to be entertaining (especially if Marcus Cor Von gets the chance to Pounce some bitches through a table) and the other two have the potential to be really bad.
Isn't it weird how I had more to say about this PPV than any other that I've covered since taking over the Sunday News? Maybe this PPV won't be so bad after all, and if I knew what both cards were going to look like ahead of time and had to choose just based on an advance card, I'd have bought this over Judgment Day. Either way, 411mania.com will have live coverage of the show starting tonight at 7:30 pm, so if you're one of the many who is not likely to buy the show, feel free to come here and follow along with Larry Csonka with live, segment-by-segment updates.
We Got Links Out The Ass
First and foremost is the 411 Roundtable Preview of ECW One Night Stand. We've gotten another huge turnout this week, so much so that Stephen Randle again had to break it into Part One and Part Two.
Larry checks in with not three, not four, but 5R's. God damn.
Speaking of Larry, he and Matt Adamson talk indy and puro in WEEK NINE of Buy Or Sell.
Zac Calhoun tries to come up with some answers to the seemingly neverending problems of ECW in The Ripple Effect.
Sat & Uncle Trunx go High Road/Low Road on Edge's recent move to Smackdown.
Phill Feltham discusses how One Night Stand sets the stage for the next Draft Lottery in The Quick Talkdown.
My buddy Ari Berenstein and his awesome new logo check in with the latest edition of Column Of Honor.
Finally, it's the usual festival of self-pimping. First is Part One of my look back at the great year ROH had in 2006 in That Was Than. After that, I talk about Vince's promo, concussion angles, and other ECW & TNA realted matters in Friendly Competition.
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That's it for me for tonight. If you're one of the brave souls who is ordering tonight's PPV, please try and enjoy yourself, but if you're one of the multitudes who probably isn't, feel free to read along with whatever sucker we got to do the show right here at 411mania.com, as we will have live coverage starting at 7:30 pm. As for me, I'm done for another week and I'm going back to watch more ROH DVDs. I'll see you all on Friday with Part Two of ROH in 2006, but until then, take care and thanks for reading.
