Truth B Told 6.7.07: Rough Draft
Posted by Bayani Domingo on 06.07.2007
The WWE’s version of a “Key Party” is coming up. Not everyone is going home with the hot “trophy wife” come next Monday night. TBT talks about why the lack of “Impact” free agents now is causing the ping pong balls to fly.
Remember seeing the big Titan Tron counting down the arrival of Y2J way back when the "E" was an "F"? What about Hall and Nash wandering onto the set during Nitro one broadcast and wondering what the heck was going on? I remember the message boards literally smoking after all of the traffic during Samoa Joe and CM Punk's free agency period and subsequent contracts with TNA and WWE. Heck, go back further and some of you may even have a vague memory of the Nature Boy appearing on WWF television with a big gold belt and claiming to be the "Real World Heavyweight Champion". It used to be that the "free agent" was a big deal. Debuting wrestlers and relative unknowns coming into a company got the whole IWC talking. Now we end up with a random no named wrestler who just happened to be front row at RAW winning the IWC and a couple of "twin" Brothers tagging in ECW…who doesn't even have another tag team for them to feud with. The WWE has suffered some bad luck due to all the injuries with main event wrestlers lately, but that doesn't mean they couldn't have lessened the blow by building up credible replacements. Now they're faced with shuffling the deck once more in an attempt to breath new life into the now stale rosters. Still, it doesn't mean the "e" is totally to blame because there used to be a day when a "big name free agent" could be that breath of fresh air, now it seems like the world of wrestling needs an inhaler.
The WWE has managed to build quite a few main event quality stars in the past 6 years: John Cena, Batista, Brock Lesner, and Randy Orton are the most notable. However as it stands Brock is no longer wrestling, Batista's star has fallen, and Randy Orton took a dump on his star and left it in the ruins of a German Motel Sechs. That really leaves Cena as the one big homegrown star left. Argue if you will about Kennedy, Carlito, Shelton, Masters, or even Elijah Burke, but none of them are legitimate main event stars yet, or have even been booked as them as of late. We already discussed how the WWE has managed to fail to create sustainable top level stars, but what is more alarming is now their inability to keep their old stand bys healthy. The WWE used to be able to buy stars from other companies but the duel edged sword is that once they put those companies out of business they effectively dried up a majority of their potential talent pool.
It used to be in the 80's the WWF could buy out stars from other territories and bring them in. In the 90's you could steal stars from WCW and ECW. In the early 2000's the "e" brought in the remnants of WCW and ECW as they pleased, deciding which ones they could afford and which ones they passed up faster than a hooker with head lice. Then things changed, around the early to mid 2000's the "e" began picking off Indy workers left and right to sign up for developmental deals. Some have stuck around (Kendrick/London) and some didn't pan out so well (Daniels, Danielson, Low Ki). Around the past year or so the "e" decided to dip into TNA a bit with mixed results (Kazarian asked for his release, Mikey Batts was released, Tryton aka Ryan Wilson is…tall) with Monty Brown being the only fairly successful one out of the lot and even he is only a mid-card act for the "C" show. They recently started signing up RoH talent again as CM Punk was signed, yet another mid-carder in EC-dub, while Colt Cabana and Ace Steel followed. The recruiting plan has changed quite a bit from big named free agents, to stealing the competition's big names, to trying to mop up the Indy scene. The problem with the latest strategy is that the "e" chooses not to capitalize the same way TNA does after signing the Indy talent they have.
Instead of debuting a CM Punk or Colt Cabana that a decent enough portion of their audience might recognize, they decide to send them back to the farm to learn how to wrestle a "WWE-style" of match. Which is great because you spend all this time scouting and recruiting a wrestler because you like what they have to offer, then you tell them to completely change what it is that made them so popular and effective in the first place. Take CM KENTA for instance. Geez, it's like Vince is taking his recruiting advice out of "Teen Cosmo", "How to change your ‘Spot Monkey' into a ‘Resthold Hunky'". I believe this is the reason that Bryan Danielson never signed on the dotted line. While some guys basically "sold their moveset to the devil" like Kendrick and James Gibson to get back to the bright lights and big paychecks of the WWE, other have just chosen to go another path. The "e" has really been taking a more "homegrown" approach to creating their talent in order to avoid the "buyer's remorse" that come with a Kazarian or London when they realize just how different things are when you're not in the Indies anymore. Hell, you never hear about Kenny or Masters being told their moveset is too dangerous. Even though they probably should have outlawed that Polish hammer. Shoot, at this rate the cruiser/tag division may be reduced to all mat work and chinlocks. "Look Paul, I know you want to do your flashy 450 splash, but what if we compromise, how about you do 360 degrees less rotation and from 2 ropes lower?".
Say what you will about TNA but in the past 2 years they have managed to sign more "notable" free agents than the WWE has. From Kurt Angle, to Christian Cage, to Samoa Joe they have managed to hire some big names as well as some smaller named talent to their roster in order to add to their depth and shake up the booking a bit. Now while most of the names that they have signed have been either "WWE Cast offs" or from the land of misfit toys, i.e. drug problems, mid-carders, or flat out releases, they have at least managed to pick up a few odds and ends that have made some waves for their fans. Yeah, I know I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that not all of their acquisitions have been stellar (VKM), in their prime (Dudleyz), or booked as well as they should have been (Angle,Joe, Aries), but at least they are trying. The problem is, TNA has an unfair advantage and disadvantage when it comes to signing
The TNA has WWE to leach off of when their stars are either too old, too troublesome, or too disgruntled to want to stick around jobbing to Khali. But the problem is, often times they are also looked at as "E-wanna be's". Which is a bit hypocritical considering no one ever said that when the WWF signed Benoit, Eddie, Saturn, and Malenko they were WCW wanna be's. still there is that stigma attached to all ex-WWE workers when they set foot inside a TNA ring. Some like Billy Gunn and the Dudleyz are deserved. While others like Christian, Angles, even the Bashams aren't. Christian and Angle came over when the "E" were still interested, while the Bashams were just completely misused as competent workers even though the "e" decided Shad Gaspard was a legit worker. Yet they are still lumped into the lot with the rest of the "cast offs". The "e" has no one to pull from anymore. Sure they looked at Mistico, they almost had Claudio Castagnoli, and there were talks of Jado and Gedo, but in the end it resulted in a lot of nothing.
The WWE has painted themselves in a corner in a way because as I said before, they helped run their main competition out of town. Well Bischoff's spending and Heyman's bad accounting didn't help, but the WWE had countless times to rely more on their own young talent rather than riding the same Deadman and Show Stopper till their wheels fell off. While the injuries to HBK, HHH, Kennedy, ‘Taker, Mysterio, Booker T, and Hardcore Holly could have been an opportunity for some of the young talent like Nitro, Kenny, Carlito, Masters, Punk, and Cor Von to step into the limelight the "e" is planning to shuffle around it's established talent instead. I don't think the problem was necessarily the main event scene getting stale as much as the main event players. If they didn't job out Nitro, Kenny, and Masters so much they could have feuded them with Cena. If they wanted to make up for the loss of Undertaker, Booker T, and Kennedy, they could have put more emphasis on the Tag Division with the Hardyz vs Hooliganz or elevated Benoit, Regal, or Finlay back to the main event for a different look. The draft basically has to take place because Vince didn't leave himself any room to work.
On top of all that, Vince made it clear that no matter how big of a star you might have been in WCW or ECW, you were nothing more than a mid-carder or "enhancement talent" in the "e". I think the "Invasion" angle proved that. Even when some of the "Free Agents" like RVD, Rey Mysterio, Chris Benoit, Eddie Guerrero, or Booker T were given the spotlight it wasn't for any real considerable length of time when compared to other "Vince-made" stars. Plus their title reigns were rather spotty in terms of how they were booked or even put over to win the title in the first place. While Vince has come around on certain FA's, it's clear it takes a good long time to do so. Big Show and Chris Jericho probably being the first real exceptions and that's mainly due to their timing and the novelty of them being some of the first real "WCW Defectors". But it's clear that sometime around 2002 when WCW went under that Vince had less need of pushing or signing the big FA's as much as he did when he had real competition.
As much as the "e" pushes this "brand split" idea down our throats like your Uncle Chester behind the barn at your 10th birthday…what? I mean, as much as the "brand split" is advertised as "legitimate" it clearly isn't. There is no way that a superstar with an expiring contract can be considered a "Free Agent" if RAW, SD, and ECW are the only options open to him. It takes an outside entity to truly create the illusion of ‘competition'. Right now TNA doesn't have enough money to offer that and the "e" has already shown that there are few advantages outside of the money that they offer to some of TNA's more interesting prospects. Most of which are cruiserweights and would probably end up with the same working schedule as Jamie Noble has. "Monday: Gym, Tuesday: Job to The Miz, Wednesday: Try out new frozen yogurt place across from the arena, Thursday: watch "Best of James Gibson in RoH" DVD, Friday: eat a tub of cookie dough ice cream while holding replica RoH title in the fetal position and cry, Saturday: Clubbing with Boogeyman, Lil' Bastard, and Deuce…"
TNA has managed to suckle at the proverbial teat of the "e" for years now and even managed to pillage a few sure hands from RoH. With the exception of using international talent as regulars they have managed to do fairly well for themselves. Problem is, even the biggest names haven't spiked the ratings much. If Sting, Angle, and Samoa Joe can't get you past the 1.3 mark, I'm not sure what will. While TNA is in a similar position by not having many "Free Agents" realistically left out there (sorry, Jericho and Big Show just ain't happening) and the only real course of action is to pick up one of the few Indy guys with decent street cred so to speak. Then you have the Super Indy Fed or Jr. Partner of the "Big 3" that learned that the secret to replenishing your numbers is to go international.
RoH was known for taking all the top Indy talent from around the world and gathering them together in a sort of "Super Indy". As time went on they began sharing their workers with other companies as well as seeing them go on to greater fame with the WWE or overseas. About a year a go Gabe and Cary must have seen the writing on the wall and began to book international talent more frequently. Problem is, they aren't really RoH talents as much as international attractions. They aren't and can't be the heart and soul of the company when they have a greater allegiance to NOAH, New Japan, or Dragon Gate. Even RoH isn't immune from using the WWE's cast offs from time to time. Mick Foley, Steamboat, and Cornette have made some appearences while still having ties to the WWE and had a modicum of success. James Gibson became a short lived WWE champion, then headed back to 'Velocity'. Jimmy Yang also found a bit of "redemption" in the short while he was in the ring. Brent Albright may follow the same path soon but for the moment is a big player in the Main Event Scene, Tank Toland...well, let's just say the jury is still out on that particular 'Dick'. Oh, and sorry guys, Scotty 2 Hotty still has a few months left on his no-complete clause I bet so you can stop day dreaming of S2H leading "Resilience" to world dominance.
Right now RoH is struggling to find the "next big Indy thing" as even the most ardent of RoHbot has to agree. Back when it was Danielson/Low Ki/Joe/Punk on the scene they were the hottest Indy wrestlers in the US. Now it's hard to say who could even match up to those kinds of talents. As much as people talk about bringing in CHIKARA wrestlers, or more IWA:MS guys, are there really any more "big names" that are going to blow away the fans and the rest of the roster? Is Eddie Kingston or Chuck Taylor or Joey Ryan going to be able to sell out the building and have DVD's flying off the shelf anymore than the show before. It's a tough reality, but it's going to take some time to allow a top notch Indy talent to develop before RoH can start building up their ranks again. Problem is, as soon as a wrestler starts showing promise they try snatching them up. Sure developing a talent has it's privileges, but it doesn't have the impact that signing a big star does. Imagine the difference between your favorite basketball team drafting a prospect in the middle of the 1st round compared to trading for LeBron James. Makes a huge difference doesn't it? Especially if you draft a 7' tall white center. When the hell does THAT ever work out? Seriously....damn you Sonics!!!!
With the draft coming up I'm sure a good handful of big and little names will move around. It's the continued effort to shake up the main event scene that threatens to become stale. Instead of taking the sensible route and building up the mid-card youngsters to a respectible level and working them up to the main event, the WWE has decided to just play pokemon with the rosters and swap out a Rey Mysterio and Chris Benoit for a Carlito and a Pikachu...gotta catch ‘em all you know. I'm hoping that I am being rash here and the draft doesn't get too out of control but I don't have the highest of hopes. The lack of true "Impact Free Agents" has really hurt the "e". DDP and RVD didn't work out exactly as they expected. Scott Steiner was a wash, even Goldberg ended up fizzling out in the end. The problem with being the only game in town is that once you start losing players, it's hard to find more all-stars to build your roster. Oh well, at least the "e" still has an ex-Spirit Squader or two left lying around right?
The Truth
The "e" managed to build a lot of good talent over the years, however since the "Invasion" angle they've managed to squander pretty much every "free agent" they've signed from WCW, ECW, or the Indy ranks. They currently have two ex-RoH champions on the roster...at least I think so, anyone heard from James Gibson lately? Even CM Punk is struggling to develop his character and move on to bigger storylines. I haven't seen his character progress at all in the past 6 months. The absolute LAST thing the "e" needs to do is move a guy like Punk who could be an ECW champion in a matter of months rather than a mid-carder jobbing to MVP on Smackdown or constantly overshadowed by the H's on RAW. He needs to not only build his character and win back some of those cheers that have been waning in the past few weeks, but also get some real legitimacy, or at least as much as you can get in ECW, by taking some big wins and solidifying himself in the Main Event and as a title contender. Then perhaps next year his move will be met with more shock and awe then Shucks and awwww. The "Big Free Agent" perhaps is a thing of the past for the "e" as they've pretty much been through most of the big talent there is now. Perhaps if Kurt Angle, Samoa Joe, or Sting even get tired of the "T", or if Brock decides its a lot easier F5'ing cruisers than taking down jujitsu Black belts, but I wouldn't hold my breath. For as much wrestling as there is on TV now a day, it doesn't mask the fact that it's almost all McMahon owned and with that and the virtual monopoly in the wrestling business comes a big let down when you wish that a surprise now and then would really get your blood flowing again and the hit counts poppin'. Then again...who'd have thunk that the Blue Meanie wouldn't have panned out?
Coming Up Short
I want to ask yourself a question: Out of all the wrestlers in the WWE or TNA holding a belt right now...who is the best actual wrestler? I'm just talking ability in the ring and the ability to not only put on a good match and being able to make yourself and your opponent look good? The answer is either Edge, Chris Sabin, or...no one. No one is even close and even Edge and Sabin aren't "Great" wrestlers. Good...probably very good. But the rest of the field? Just sad. Just thought I'd point that out so all you wrestling purists can go lock yourselves in the bathroom, turn on the theme to Chris Benoit's old entrance music and cut yourselves. Okay...have fun.
6 Degrees of…
Greg Pryor
Back to raise the bar and lead by example! The best part of the awful invasion angle was Austins motivational speeches to the alliance...sorry chaps...gone off on a tangent before I actually started there! Right then this weeks 6D0! HHH is long understood to have been the scapegoat for the curtain call incident in MSG in 1996...Another name
for a scapegoat is a Fall Guy! Link HHH to Colt Seavers/Lee Majors in 6 moves!
Damn, he wastes the ONE chance we have to link Bret and Brian to Lee Majors. Great, now those generic toeheads will NEVER make a 6DO. Well have it your way Greg, HHH the Major of all Majors...6 degrees and...............GO!!
Whatchu talkin' bout readers?
Whatsup Bayani,
Your article on the Well Meaning Heel really caught my eye, and I really wanted to compliment you on it. I think you put into words the thoughts of a lot of readers including myself. I think as hardcore wrestling fans, we now get caught up in how many stars a match gets (I know I always love reading others' reviews of a show I saw) but the reason I became a fan in the first place was the characters. I think you said very well about living out your fantasies in an exaggerated sense (Ken from accounting...hahaha) through pro wrestling.
I wanted to mention my favorite character and in my opinion one of the best well meaning heels in one Chris Jericho circa 2002-2004. Being a huge Jerichoholic, I used to remember even as a kid watching Jericho get the shaft against the squeaky clean Rocks and Hogans. WMHs really made me root for bad guys.
As I was reading your article, I started thinking about how although a brilliantly pompous ass, Jericho always believed in his often heinous actions.
Some great promos include:
1) His promo against the Rock on Smackdown before the Royal Rumble 2002 where he basically said that even though he was the Undisputed Champ he was being overlooked by a catchphrase factory and that he wasn't getting the respect he deserved. Lots of passion and one of those "I kinda feel him on that" moments..
2) The whole 2003 Shawn Michaels Feud leading to WM XIX. I loved how in the end he emulated him his whole career, and now was looking to not be the next HBK but the First Y2J.. Great stuff.
I just feel like his heel heat was ALWAYS off the charts (which is why people REALLY cared during the trish/christian angle that turned him face). I think if he had another run with the belt as a heel, it would have been tremendous. Alas it was during HHH's yearlong reign...(siigh).
Thanks for readin this and keep up the great work. It was a thought provoking article that actually invoked a response from me.
Fox
Y2J was possibly one of the best WMH's during WWE's hey days...at least the hey days that I saw on TV. The man was just gold on the mic and had the kind of charisma you don't see much of these days. Then again why do I think if he was still around Vince would have him wrestling Balls in the mid-card in ECW?
Props Bayani on an astounding article (and for the bonus pic, made my day at work) on what truly makes watching wrestling so enjoyable these days. I think in most cases you would see well meaning heel turns just because a wrestler was sick of his partner holding him back, hence Shawn Michaels & Scott Steiner. In both cases they were looking for greener pastures or felt they were better off solo. I would consider the case of the late great Owen Hart a well meaning heel turn as well against Bret, considering it was a case of the old "little brother wants to prove himself against big bro" kind of thing. Being the youngest brother of a former wrestler myself (well it was high school but still) I definitely understood why he felt justified in doing that. It made me into a fan of the WMH, and without a doubt Christian plays it better than anyone. If you think about it TNA does a much better job than the E of putting out (well not in that sense but if Gail Kim ever did) WMH. I don't know if Edge is considered a WMH unless you pair him against Cena. Against anyone else, he's a punk.
The point I'm making is that throughout wrestling the best angles usually are involving someone turning heel because they feel what they're doing is necessary. Like when Andre the Giant turned on Hogan because he felt he wouldn't get the respect he deserved without a title. If the E could've done that with CM Punk I think it would be a great step in getting him over.
John Reid
PS you kicked butt on Fact or Fiction, I think I was the 7th fan to read it! Keep up the great work.
PSS More Latina pics please! Just for variety's sake of course….
I think Edge is his own WMH in that he only believes he's doing well if he's facing Cena and his mega push, otherwise he's just a dickhead. Punk is the ULTIMATE WMH waiting to happen, but looks like the "e" has problems with this whole "shades of grey" thing now a days. Besides, they need more time for crazy Uncle Vince to sit comatose through the curtain jerking matches.
I thought I definitely held my own on FoF last week. I looked at last week as the first physical encounter in a long building feud. Like Flair vs Steamboat, Raven vs Dreamer, or Small vs Slimmer....only without the pillow fighting and combing each other's hair while drinking wine coolers. At some point Domingo/Cook II will happen and the kid gloves will come off...and in Cook's case, the "My little Pony" headband.
For all the praise I'll even throw in a lil' something for ya this week Johnny Boy.
was wondering if we could get like an all star "random (blank) lookin good pics." It has become kinda of a tradition at my job on Fridays to look at the random asian bitch lookin good. So we were wondering if we could get white ,black , latino, asian, and any other races ..maybe some wrestlers lol. Thanks --Jason@ Knology of Augusta
Damn, it's all about the fine bitches now ain't it? Yeah, I thought it would come to this, but I figured I'd have at least a few more good months before I started relying totally on the semi-porn. Okay, tell ya what Jason, you and the Knology crew will have to keep tuning into TBT and we'll see if we can't sneak in an extra pic every now and then.
6 Degrees Results
Honorable Mention
#3
Nobody.
#2
OK, no more Celine Dion talk.
Here is my still-Adrien-Brody-free 6DO submission this week:
1. Naruto made its debut in Canada on September 16, 2005, on the television show "Bionix" on YTV, which is also home to the show "The Thumb Wrestling Federation".
2. On "The Thumb Wrestling Federation" there is a wrestler on the Sinistras side named Senator Skull, who has his face painted like a skull.
3. One famous WWF/E wrestler who had his face painted like a skull was Papa Shango. (OK, maybe 'famous' was pushing it a bit.)
4. During Wrestlemania VIII, Papa Shango attacked Hulk Hogan during his match, causing a match DQ.
5. Hulk Hogan went to battle in 1995 with Kevin Sullivan's Dungeon Of Doom, who boasted as one of its members The Giant, aka The Big Show.
6. In one of the greatest TV wrestling moments, on the June 12, 2003 episode of Smackdown!, The Big Show was superplexed by Brock Lesnar, causing the ring to implode beneath them.
Double C (Corey Cotton)
Damn strong entry but I just can't get on board with the middle Hulk link. Maybe it's just me but after about 2004 Hulk Hogan lost all relevancy for me in the world of wrestling. I'm sure people still mark out for the Huckster, but I'm just not one of them...now bring out the Booty Man for SummerSlam and THEN you'll have my $40.
#1.
Hey Bayani,
liked the WMH topic, but it felt to me like you neglected to mention one of the greatest examples of the archetype in Raven.... unless you consider him to be that 0.01% of people being evil for evilness' sake. all good, anyhow.
It's been a while since I've written in, so lets see if I get anywhere with this:
1. According to AnimeNewsNetwork.com, most of the Japanese voice cast of Naruto also does the Japanese dub of "24".
2. "24" features the Counter Terrorist Unit, or CTU. CTU is also the name of a stable of junior heavyweight heels led by Jushin Thunder Liger.
3. Liger's CTU has a part-member in Italian pro-wrestling/modeling LEGEND, Milano Collection AT.
4. Milano once led the Italian Connection, including Condotti Shuji and Brother YASSINI, also known as Shuji Kondo and Brother YASSHI of the Voodoo Murders.
5. VM once housed NJPW's no. 1 gaijin in Giant Bernard, the former A-Train.
6. Bernard made an unsuccessful bid for the IWGP belt in 2006, then held by that damned bastard Brock Lesnar (who took the belt and went home two months later).
I had several other connections in mind, including Ultimo Dragon (who also wrestled his final WWE PPV at WM20), Masahiro Chono and Lou Thesz. Won't be surprised if taking the puro route gets me nowhere above honorable mention, though.
Chen Arbel
Raven was a WMH, but also pretty damn evil. I also think he ended up not making a whole hell of a lot of sense after his angles and stables just took on too many people, in WCW and in TNA, just odd. Well I gave you the extra point this week for the heavy Puro involvement as 411 is turning Japanese, I really think so, lately with the increased puro coverage. So Chen it looks like you've got some work for next week, good luck and may Mutoh be with you.
Left Overs…
Chad Parham upset "Mr. Mid Atlantic" Damien Wayne in the NWA Tournament last week. which is weird, because I have no idea who either guy is, so for me it's not so much of an upset because I had no expectations of who would win or lose in the first place. It's like if someone told me, "Hey, B, I just heard Tab and RC Cola had a bare knuckle fight outside the Viper Room last night…and RC knocked Tab the FUCKOUT!!".
Sara Del Rey is YOUR inaugural SHIMMER Champion. She outlasted 15 other women in the tournament and walked away with the richest prize in US Indy Women's wrestling. SHIMMER may consider enacting a secondary belt now just under this title belt, possible candidates include the ECW title and the Intercontinental title.
BoLA '07 has announced their first 4 participants this year: Former PWG Champion Joey Ryan, "The Anarchist" Doug Williams, and from Dragon Gate Typhoon teammates Susumu Yokosuka and Dragon Kid. Well it looks like PWG is blowing their International Load early on in announcing their participants. I guess they're just building up to their final two competitors at their 4th Year Anniversary show: Chad Parham and RC Cola.
Frank Wycheck and James Storm are going to mix it up at Slammiversary after Wycheck hit Storm over the head with Jeff Jarrett's guitar. In preparation for another possible "Miracle" Wycheck will be having a warm up match on Impact! against Raven's newest members of Seratonin…the Buffalo Bill's defense.
There have been conflicting reports as Ricky Banderas was rumored to be going to TNA soon as Father Mitchell's newest WOMD. Now it has been reported that Apolo was announced as joining Banderas as a tag team in TNA. Another rumor going around is that Apolo will actually be joined by a returning Glen Gilberti after he beats those criminal charges and will wrestle as a team known as "HisPanic at the Disco".
Scott Steiner went through successful surgery to repair his injured trachea. When asked to comment after surgery Steiner said he thought only girls had tracheas. When corrected he lashed out, "that's ridiculous…babies don't come from your throat"…he was then heavily sedated again.
Jimmy <3's Lacey vids are gaining quite a following. The "payoff" so to speak is scheduled to take place later this week. Can love blossom between these two kids? I dunno, it seems like the only thing really holding them back from hookin' up in the past has been a BJ.
Is it just me or does Santino Marella have the moveset of Default Wrestler 6 on SDvsRAW?? It's like his whole damn moveset has nothing to do with the next move. I'm just waiting till I can select him to drive into the arena in BikerTaker's chopper, to Edge's music, and the Dudleyz Pyro.
Johnny Jeter worked a dark match prior to the Smackdown taping this week. I suggest drafting him to ECW to feud with CM Punk as the "Insomniac". Punk will then only be able to finish him with rolls ups and cradles.
Random Asian Bitch Lookin' Good Pic of the Week
This is what a hot chicks looks like to a guy with a short leg.
So the latest rumor is that Sonjay Dutt is going to debut this week with a Ghandi-like gimmick. I guess he's going with the lesser of two evils when it comes to having a famous Indian gimmick. The other choice would have had Richard Gere all over him and the media up in arms.
The Two Man Black Power Trip beat the Majors on ECW. That's fine and all, but Cryme Tyme got them a White Woman when they won on RAW. Weird, it's like recruiting pitch for NCAA basketball all over again.
Sandman is getting sued by some chick for 100K. She claims that Sandman, "while bleeding from a self-imposed wound to his head, grabbed her, picked her up, and threw her, not only injuring her back and aggravating pre-existing injuries, but also exposing her to blood and humiliating her." This sounds like either a horrible assault by Sandman or damn good night of sex with Victoria.
The Rock has finally come back….to singlehood. Yep, Rocky is getting a divorce and where did I hear this news? Not from 411mania, not from Meltz…from my girlfriend. She was pretty damn excited to tell me that when I got home the other night…she then proceeded to check out the gym memberships for Gold's Gym in Venice Beach. Well, could have been worse, I could have come home to find "Scotty 2 Hotty's" myspace locked as a "favorite" on her laptop.
WWE Vengeance will be the Night of Champions show with every match being a title match. Cena will probably face Snitsky for all we know, maybe MVP against Benoit, and then Sandman vs the Repo Man for the papers to his '87 Cheville.
Coerced Latina Bitch Lookin' Good Pic of the Week
TBT, uniting all the colors of that tasty tasty ass.
Pimpin' In High Places
Just read the links already will ya? It ain't like you're gettin' any work done today.:
Ask 411 and Steve Cook tackle gay wrestlers this week. Or...rather talk about them. I'm sure Cook doesn't actually go for a poooooounce. Period.
Jules has the Top 10 hardcore matches this week. My pick was "Farm Fed Fannies: Hot Country Chicks meet big Horse..." oh, he's not talkin' about "movies" is he?
Csonka's RRRR focuses on WWECW's: Fuck Buddies. Also take a listen to his pod cast, I hear him and his wife talk about the hard hitting issues that no other married 411 staff member is willing to tackle. No...the other one.
CoH ponders the intricacies of love this week. Indy style!! Meaning it's all dutch and Jimmy Jacobs has to get hi mom to pick him and Lacey up from the mall after the movie is over.
Threat x 3 hits the big 5-0. Although a man short. That man could have been me had it not been for technical difficulties. I just wanted to show up to throw my two cents into the conversation and vote for the pudding match as my match of the week...is that too much to as?
Evo Scheme ain't so Evo this week, the Draft is here....well was here, a year ago and Sforcina takes another crack at it. Maybe he can jump in his Delorean and draft over Eugene instead of Batista.....think of it....all hail....King Eugene!!
Mi-so-Notti has your Draft Happy Hour this week, so remember to order all the buffalo wings you want...but only till 7 pm.
El hijo de Adam talks about Mutoh and the Triple Crown, which was supposed to be the name of the last Harry Potter movie....true story.
Berman features Briscoe vs Briscoe this week on the IMC. No, it's not a messy custody battle, but if it was, it would be for Mark's front teeth....man up son...man up!!
D-Dubya is a little less sixteen candles and a little more Draft Lottery. If he wasn't though, I'm sure Long Duk Dong would be all over his column..."literally".
Big long weekend coming up, first off a big congrats to "Dr. Matt" for his graduation this weekend, then a big Happy sweet 16 to Angelo, and then PWG this weekend presents a pretty darn good little follow up to DDT4. Go check out the card at www.prowrestlingguerrilla.com. You know, you think with all the free publicity I give these guys each week they'd float me a free ticket or something. Not even a dang Super Dragon bobble head. I mean, they got a bunch of those things left, cuz'...you know...Super Dragon just doesn't sell. Okay, I say that now, but if a chubby dude in a black mask and body suit comes barrelling down on me during intermission I'mma blame Wilcox for filling in for me this week.
