Wrestling’s 4R’s 6.08.07: SNME, AJ Qualifies, Vince goes Crazy, the Dervish Win the Titles, Handicap Matches Make Me Cry, Kids Games with Smackdown and More!
Posted by Larry Csonka on 06.08.2007
GIT, GIT, GIT, GIT, GIT, GIT, GIT in here and read the R’s!
The 4R's of wRestling
Introduction~!
-Welcome back kids for another edition of Wrestling's 3R's! As always I am Larry Csonka, along with me is my tag team partner "The Whole Geoffin Show" Geoff Eubanks. It is time again for that walk through the wild world of wrestling TV that we take each and every week. Lots to discuss with SNME in the mix, so it is working time!
WWE SNME and ONS III Podcast~!
We are back again for the longest podcast yet! We discuss the SNME show with a special guest, the greatest segment I seen all time all my life, Brooke's ass, matches that were supposed to be and more! Then we move discussion to the Booty Call PPV (ONS III), what worked really well, what didn't work at all, the Tudors and more! 90-minutes of RASSLIN discussion!
Here is a quick explanation of the 4R's. I will take the 5 main shows (6 if I go RetRo) of the week: TNA Impact, WWE Raw, ECW on Sci-Fi and WWE Smackdown. If we have a PPV, that show will get a special PPV edition of the R's all to its own. I then group my feelings on the shows in various categories: The Right, the wRong and the Ridiculous. The Right is stuff that worked very well: a great promo, a great match and so on. PuRgatoRy is a section between the right and wrong. It shows equal traits from both sides that cannot be ignored and need discussed. It is not a bad place per say, as things can get remedied or go the wrong way the very next week. The wRong is what it sounds like: bad matches, bad or boring promos and so on. The Ridiculous is stuff that had no right on TV: Stupid angles, Diva searches and so on. And there is always a possibility of a 5th R, which is as bad as they come, unless you are TNA. They have a special R all of their own, the 6th R; the Russo-FN-Riffic~! This column is supposed to be analytical, and at the right time very critical of the shows, it was the whole reason it was created. This is not a "mark" column, nor a "smark" column, I cannot speak for Geoff, but my goal is to analyze the show from many different fronts, reward the good and call out the bad. There are also occasions where I will bring out a 4th, 5th or even a 6th R to the column, so beware of those~! I will not apologize for my opinions, they are as they are, whether very positive or negative.
iMpact!:
iMpact 5.31.06:
The Right:
Sabin vs. KAZ - This was a dandy of a little match this week on Impact. Kaz hasn't had a lot of chances to look good since his return to TNA but this week he reminded people why he was such a crucial part of the X-Division at one point. He and X-Division Champion Chris Sabin went out there and had a very good TV match. We like wrestling on our shows! The match was good, Kaz looked as if he was going to pull off the win when Serotonin appeared the rafters and distracted him long enough for Sabin to secure the win. Could they actually be doing SOMETHING with them?
Sting and Daniels - I really liked the confrontation between Sting and Daniels this week. No verbal bullshit, you had a pissed of Sting that was pissed due to losing his shot at the title. So he decided to take it out on the man that cost him that shot. Sting was on the offensive the entire time and just beat down Daniels, including bat shots at the end. Some people feel that this made Daniels look bad, but I disagree. Daniels is on this kick where he is finding his path, he loved when he got busted open at the PPV, wanted a first blood match which he got, beat the man and then busted himself open. Taking a beat down from the man that was to teach him, but let him down just fits into this wacky Daniels character, so I am ok with it. Follow up is key, as with a lot of things, but this was fine stuff.
puRgatory:
AJ Qualifies, More Arguing - Our third qualifying match for the KOTM match happened this past week, which was AJ vs. Tomko. The match was a fine match, Christian got involved and when all was said and done AJ Styles got the win, and moves onto the match at Slammiversary. This is good news because thus far the KOTM match is Joe vs. AJ vs. Angle, and right there that's good stuff. But then there is the whole in fighting thing. It is one thing for months and months of stress to start breaking a faction up with all of the in fighting, but this has been going on since day one, because in Russo Land, no faction can get along completely. A lot of it is funny and I personally laugh quite a bit, but it isn't the best of ways to do things because then you do the whole swerve ala Tomko staying with the team for no reason. So that takes it down and makes it worthless because they have done it since week one. Stop it.
Rhino vs. Homicide/Hector and Harris… - So with Daniels out of his match with Rhino, this left us with no match. Rhino was pissed off and said that he came here to fight, and was laying out an extreme challenge. LAX then made their way to the ring. Konnan was pissed because of how TNA had been treating them, trying to steal the titles and giving the Dudleyz 1,000 title shots. Konnan told Rhino that he would pay for getting into their business last week. He then took shots at Hector Guerrero for selling out, and Hector then joined Rhino in his corner. Rhino and Cide had a 3-minute match, it was ok for what it was, but needed more time, and Rhino ended up with the win. On one hand I hate to see Cide lose again, but Rhino has been jobbed rather heavily, so he did need a win, even a TV win. So then shit broke down, LAX beat down Rhino and Hector, Harris made the save, momentarily, and then the faces got laid out. This was all fine, but I still question this whole relationship with Harris, Rhino and Hector. It screams 2 things. Get people on the card and give LAX something to do while 3D and the Steiner's feud. At this point though with the injury to Scott, scrapping this and having LAX vs. 3D again would be fine with me.
The wRong:
NADDA~!
The Ridiculous:
Cornette's crazy booking office! - The one thing that has been all too common place as far as TNA building to PPV's is "Cornette's Crazy Booking Office." This is the segment in the weeks leading to the PPV where Cornette will be in his office, be accosted by numerous members of the roster and he will then proceed to make matches in order to rid himself of these people! First of all Cornette was not even in his office as Eric Young was there waiting for him. He was worried about Roode, who then appeared and threatened to fire him. Cornette then appeared and was pissed that these people have invaded his office, and told Roode to MAN THE FUCK UP and face Young, and if Young wins he is free, if he loses Roode can fire him. And then Bob Backlund came into the office being wacky Bob and demanded a battle with Alex Shelley. Cornette said he was old, but Bob would hear nothing of this and Cornette told him to get a release and he could have the match. Yup, all you have to do to get a match in TNA is harass Cornette to no end by invading his office. THE INMATES ARE RUNNING THE ASYLUM~!
SmackDown!: By: "The Whole Geoffin Show" Geoff Eubanks
SmackDown 6.01.06
First off, I want to add this from Steel Phoenix, because I ran out of room last week:
"Boot to the head! – Correct me if I'm wRong, but isn't that an old Monty Python thing…?"
Negative. It is, in fact, a 1980's The Frantics thing. They are a Canadian comedy music troupe, and the album you'd be looking for is called, appropriately enough, "Boot To The Head!" (released 1986).
Many thanks for setting me straight on that! Your Slammy's in the mail.
Hope everyone listened to and dug the podcast I did with Larrold and The Wife. Christi's a hell of a woman and I love what she contributes to the podcasts. Oh, and Larry's okay, too.
The Right:
London & Kendrick may have ditched the masks, but there's still some covering up going on – Because in these three-way matches for the WWETTTs involving Brian Kendrick & Paul London, William Regal & Dave Taylor and our "Champions" Lenny & Squiggy, we can hide the fact that such "Champions" absolutely SUCK and still have a great match (for the most part) between the former two teams in that list. Dear Deuce & Domino, don't think you're getting over as heels because the crowd was all over you tonight. There's this thing called XPac heat. The fans were all over you because they hate you because you're absolute SHIT in the ring are genuinely fucking annoying as hell, following in the great footsteps of The Honky-Tonk Man and Roddy Piper. Please go fuck yourselves. Or each other, I could give a red, runny shit, just get the fuck off my television.
On the other hand, for those of you who only remember Regal for kissing Vince's ass, check out this match tonight and tell me he's not a legitimate bad ass, and that goes double for Taylor. These guys are amazing and I'd love to see them restore a little pride in those tag belts as champions. London & Kendrick were London & Kendrick and that, friends, is a VERY good thing.
I kinda think McMahonagement is stalling with the WWETTT picture till the draft and that the tag landscape could change…not a firm belief, just a hunch…we'll see.
Match of the Week! – Believe it or not, Mike Mizanin has been actively involved in the best televised matches in North American professional wrestling for two weeks straight! Tonight we had the team of Matt Hardy & Chris Benoit doing battle against MVP & The Miz…and it was glorious. It's really no shocker that Hardy & Benoit worked so well together, given their histories, but what was absolutely fantastic was the cohesion existing between The Miz and MVP! They displayed rock solid symbiosis, working together like a proper tag team (and if MVP's solo career wasn't taking flight so well, I'd suggest pairing them up permanently!). Matt Hardy got his ass kicked by the both of them, especially when they combined The Fear Factor and the kawada kick! Man, much as I love Hardy, that was some old school Rockers'-style tag team action! Also notable, believe it or not, was Miz running jump onto Hardy's back as Hardy was strung out on the middle rope leading to a leap over the top rope into a guillotine sledgehammer! AWEsome! Matt, of course, was impressive yanking Miz up off the corner of the ring and catching him, turning the move into a powerbomb! And, still again, when the hell did Hardy learn to throw that wicked fucking Right hand?! That looks about as painful and real as Benoit's knife-edged chops (which looks and sounds as if he's swinging a side of beef across his opponent's chest)! And Benoit…Benoit was just Benoit, which is as perfect as it gets.
The story, too, was great and consistent. Benoit looked at MVP as if he (MVP) had raped his (Benoit's) mother, Hardy wants to even the score between himself and MVP as a result of that loss a couple weeks back, Miz is getting a push, proving he deserves it and MVP is taking to his role of champion like a pro. As mentioned, the teamwork between MVP and Miz followed the most basic rule of tag wrestling, that being, cut the ring in half, isolate your opponent, disallowing him to tag in his partner. Of course, the converse of that rule is that, should one fail and allow the tag, the fresh man gets in and kicks one's ass, which is exactly what we had here tonight. The arrangement, too, was masterfully planned, as Miz, being the rookie, should have been the one to lose, yet, there is never any shame in tapping to The Crossface, so he still looked strong even in defeat. And it was great to see Benoit get the V for his team in Canada. SD! continues to offer the best wrestling on television and it makes me damn proud to report on matches such as these. Well done!!!
I'd rather hear Jigglin Hall sing than The Boogeyman – Kudos to McMahonagement (and, of course, we know I mean Michael Hayes) for coming up with creative ways for using Boogey other than the Goldberg method of booking. Funny, Little Boogey's a hell of a better wrestler than Boogey himself! I can certainly do without all of this worm nonsense, though (did anyone else notice the referee looking at his hand after he pounded the three to see if he had squashed worm on it?). JBL agrees, "That's the same ring I was a World Champion in!" "Exactly," replies Mr. Consistency. Oh, but Cole isn't innocent in this sense, either. When JBL once again asks how Boogey gets through airport security, Cole replies, "You ask that every week!", I wish JBL had shot back, "And if you ask me one more fucking time how a knife edge chop feels, I'll throw on this announce table and SHOW you!" High marks for JBL for mentioning Muta and Kabuki, two Japanese greats after The Little Bastard debuted the green mist of doom!!! (Low marks for neglecting to mention Yoshihiro Tajiri, though!)
This was a fun little segment (I won't really call it a match) and anytime I get to see The Bastard beat the shit out of Boogey and Finlay, still again, fucking demolish Little Boogey, I'm stoked.
Boobs and attitudes – It's a shame the crowd wasn't more into the match between Jigglin Hall and Michelle McCool because, from my chaise, it was better and longer match than half of what you get on Raw (and, yes, I'm including the men's matches in that statement, as well). These two ladies certainly beat the hell out of Chris Masters and Santino Bellini or whatever the fuck his name is for the 25th time (I may just start referring to him as Salvatore Bellomo II). There was some actual God's honest wrestling going down here from both ladies, including a sweet belly-to-belly (or as the almighty Dunn put it, "belly-to-boobie) suplex by McCool that actually brought the crowd back into the bout a bit and I really dug Jigglin's handstand legdrop, as well. Jigglin continues to bust me up (no pun intended!) as she sings an atrocious sustained note as she stretches McCool over her knee, and then screams at the ref when she fails to get the three! Funniest of all was when she was yelling, "Stop it!" as McCool Oklahoma rolled her around the ring…so, so hilarious! Funnier still was the exchange between Michael Cole and JBL:
Cole: Why is she screaming?
JBL: She might be singing!
Also, high marks for JBL for mentioning the great Michael Hayes and Kevin Von Erich in the same match! I cannot WAIT for the WWE-produced WCCW DVD, if only for a match involving "Iceman" King Parsons! This was booked well, too, as Jigglin was pinned only because she was distracted by the lusciously returning Ashley, who'll be looking for a piece of her ass in the very near future, one must assume, so Jigglin still looks strong. The only downside to that is that their program will be a letdown, as smoking hot as she is, Ash is nowhere near the in-ring talent that Michelle is, but we'll blow up that bridge when we come to it. All in all, a thoroughly entertaining segment that could have been much, much worse (check out Raw if you don't believe me!).
Moo! – Did anyone else catch the dood in the expensive seats opposite the hard camera holding up the "Moo!" sign? I'd have to think this fella reads the R's and was all set for Vickie Guerrero to address the fans. If this is so, I gotta tell this guy that he motherfucking RULES! Your Slammy's in the mail.
JBL's Word of the Week - vitriolic - harsh or corrosive in tone; "an acerbic tone piercing otherwise flowery prose"
purgatory:
The Cutting Edge should have been Cut Short – Man, this started out SO GOOD. This was the first really good promo Batista's delivered in EONS, and Edge, of course, was all sorts of awesome. And then with what were we left as the show went off the air? The watered down equivalent of "Wabbit Season!" "Duck Season!" only not nearly as entertaining. Maybe more like a bad installment of "The Little Rascals". Really, Batista's starting to get on my freakin NERVES.
Sexual Chocolate is melting – Well, although we know what a Dullsville disaster Kane versus Mark Henry ended up being at ONS3, I didn't think this match tonight was too bad, being what it was. The crowd, however just didn't buy Big Drippy being able to so dominate Kane, and I kinda don't either. Granted, he looks good doing what he does and I still am actually enjoying the promo pieces that air as we go to break ("Look up nostrils, honky!"); however, they're trying to build him as a thinking man's monster, and that's an even tougher sell, especially if all he's gonna do on PPV is smother his foe in the world's wettest hug. We'll see where this goes, but I just don't think people really buy him and I'm not sure what it will take to turn that around…I mean, I still remember him being dragged off by the ear by Mama Silverback.
Foreshadowing! – Although I'm looking forward to a hostile takeover between Vickie Guerrero and Thaddeus Long for the GM position on SD!, one wonders if they didn't give away the plot here, as Kristal could be Raw-bound. The reason why this is in puRgatory is because I was really hoping we'd see something happen when Vickie was left alone and in charge. Maybe we'll see something next week? BTW, Vikcie? I HATE lumberjack matches.
The wrong:
NADDA!
The Ridiculous:
No frills on this, just one simple message – Do NOT…EVER…allow Deuce & Domino mic time EVER again. EVER. I'd rather listen to Candice Michelle. Oh, and who's that new tool conducting backstage promos? He's not as pathetic as Steve Romero, but he's damn close. Lose him, too.
Remember people, show Geoff some love by emailing him here: yostankmama@hotmail.com
Saturday Night's Main Event:
SNME 6.02.06:
The Right:
Los Irishmen del Whoop Ass vs. Los Hombres del Boogey and The Greatest Extreme Expose Ever! - And when all was said and done, not only was this the greatest thing I seen all time, all my life, but this was the justification for this show period. Sure at the beginning a little person being paired with Finlay sounded disastrous, but the man has gotten him over and over big and it fucking works somehow. Now in many ways the match itself was nothing to write home about, wrestling wise, but there was some good stuff. Finlay tagging Little Bastard, him coming in and getting ready to put up his dukes and Finlay flying in with a dropkick, followed by Irish Jig and high five was just heart warming. If you didn't love this you have no soul. At the end, Boogey chased Little Bastard from the ring, allowing Finlay to hit a yakuza kick to Boogey-Cito for the pin.
After the match is when it got good though my friends, oh yes, it did. Extreme Expose came out, and yes, all of us with the exception of DivasRGr8 collectively groaned. As the TIMBLAND music played, we shot backstage to see Cito and Bastard chasing each other around. Boogey appeared and scared Bastard off, and he made chase. And then, then greatness happened. Finlay KILLED Boogey Boogey with the SHACKALICKI and then, then the greatest thing, I seen all time, all my life happened…
Damn right, Fit FN Finlay, the toughest man, the fighting man, the no nonsense man killed Boogey, and then proceeded to do the BOOGEY MAN DANCE, IN TIME with the TIMBLAND music! Fit Finlay may be challenging dancing Brock for supremacy. I decided right then that this show was worth my time.
And then after that, Bastard and Cito darted to the ring, where the Expose were still dancing. They stopped that, another bonus for this whole thing, and hid behind and under the ladies. And then…
WE HAD A CHICKEN FIGHT WITH MIDGETS~! Man, I love wrestling sometimes. This was great, just great.
Benoit and Batista vs. Edge and MVP - We did have some actual grappling, wrestling as the kids call it on the card. This was a good thing, because while Finlay was awesome, I wanted to see some grappling as it were. They had a tidy little match, Benoit, MVP and Edge all worked really well together and they kept Big Dave on the apron, so this was good stuff. The end saw Batista finally in and about to take out Edge, who then decided that running away to run another day was the best course of action. He ran, and Benoit got the pin on MVP. Gaining revenge and adding fuel to that fire, while people were left wanting to see Batista and Edge battle the next night. Good work here.
puRgatory:
ARM WRESTLING - In the part of the strongest we had an ARM RASSILIN contest between then ECW Champion Vince McMahon and Franklin Lashley. They teased the contest and then Vince backed off, not wanting to embarrass Lashley before their PPV match. So he brought out the real strongest man, Mark Henry. This was fine, Vince was a chicken shit, they kept him and Lashley apart before the match and Henry gets in a more important mix. This was ok.
The wRong:
CENA vs. KHALI - This was the ultimate in backwards booking. They had the idea for the program and decided to do the Hogan-like Monster slayer deal with Cena. So they begin the program, Khali beats him down and they shoot right to the title match, which Cena wins via submission and everyone goes home happy. But then, they realize that they were going to do another PPV match, and came to the realization that, "WE DUN FUCKED UP." And then they realize, further realization you see, that Khali needs to look like a real threat. So they book a match between them, ONE DAY before the PPV where they are going to main event. Genius! They had a match, it was what it was, and Khali wins with the HASSAN CHOP~! Yeah, ass backwards booking at its finest. Good work guys. /SARCASM~!
The Ridiculous:
The Freak Show Match - And so we came to the final match of this odd SNME, which was the freak show match. We saw Eugene, Doink and Kane vs. Viscera, Thorn and Umaga. First things first, this match was supposed to be very different. It was supposed to be Eugene, Kane, Shannon Moore and GOLDUST vs. Viscera, Thorn, Umaga and EVIL DOINK. That would have been cool, but Dustin screwed things up and decided not to do the show and no showed the Bad News Allen show as well, keeping the $900 and the plane ticket, which he cashed in. Damn. Anyway, the match blew and while it fell into the whole theme of the event, Strongest, Strangest, Smallest and all of that shit, but this was jus bad. I mean, when Big Vis is working the hardest, and that isn't a knock on him, but when he is busting ass and everyone else is just there, that's a bad deal. Blah.
RAW!:
Raw 6.04.07:
The Right:
Orton vs. Flair - Let me preface this by saying, once again, I hate this angle of Concussion Killer Randy Orton. Yeah, get over it; I hate this. Moving on, after making the Torrie Wilson vs. Carlito match, Vince then told Flair he was jealous because they always chanted his name, and admitted Flair was a legend, and since he was, he would have to face young Randall K. Orton, Concussion Expert. So then we had the match, and Ric Flair was having a good night. They have done much better against each other, but for what they were trying to do it worked. Flair sold everything perfectly and Orton looked deadly. So it worked. And for those of you that hate MMA, well, I hate to tell you this, but they are getting Randy Orton over using a Soccer Kick. An M-M-A maneuver. Eat it.
The Redneck Whirling FN Dervish wins the titles! - I will preface this by saying that I wish they had held this off to the "Night of the Champions" PPV, I am glad in the overall execution of this angle. They continued the great build even before the match as The Dervish offered congrats to the Hardy's for retaining the titles and inquired, in a gentlemanly way as to when they would be getting a tag team title rematch. The Hardy's were instantly insulted, since they were injured, but The Dervish assured them that they would wait until they were 100%, because they didn't want any excuses. Then crazy Vince strolled in, and well, he was crazy. He snapped at the Hardy's because they had titles still and decided that they would defend those titles tonight. Matt decided to ask against who, and Vince said The Dervish! So the match was on, and as usually with these guys they had a fine match. The Dervish stayed true to playing by the rules and that was key. They played off of the injuries the Hardy's had, and after Jeff missed a senton, Cade covered and as the ref counted, Jeff got a foot on the ropes. BUT Trevor knocked it off, kind of, and The Dervish got the three count and the titles! Cade jumped around yelling, "We did it" and "I told you so!" Matt and Jeff talked and Matt confronted they about what happened. And then…WHAM, dueling belt shots to the Hardy's and all of the sudden, The Dervish were assholes, just as I planned. This is now the most over they have been and that is because they got to work with the Hardy's, who are perpetually over, they were made to look like a threat and finally, people were given a reason to love/hate them. THAT is how you get teams over and THAT is how you build stars. This was good stuff, minus the flubbed ending. At the very end, while on the ramp, Murdoch started pointing at random fans and yelling, "We fooled you! We fooled you! We fooled you!" God bless these gentlemen.
puRgatory:
Cryme Tyme and Everyone's Favorite Hood Rat Candice Michelle vs. Johnny Nitro, Kenny Dykstra and Women's Champion Melina - So Cryme Tyme returned to in ring action on Raw this past week to everyone's amazement. And when they came to the ring, I thought that they had added a new chick to the stable so to speak. But after closer examination…
…It was everyone's favorite hood rat Candice Michelle! That's right, we were about to have a 6-person match with them vs. Melina, Nitro and Kenny. First of all, I hate that for the longest time Nitro and Melina have kept the same music, but their association has been all but dropped. So having them back together is VERY random. So they had a match, it was fine and Candice and CT won and all was well as Candice did the JTG dance. This was very random and not that good, due to SHAD mostly, but it is cool because they added to the ladies feud in a new way and also got to give two more tag teams some face time. Nitro and Kenny actually work very well together, and while I think Nitro should be moved to a singles role and pushed, for now this is fine IF they actually focus on the tag teams. IF.
Carlito vs. Torrie - After the meeting with the Dervish and the Hardy's, Vince continued to walk and met with Flair and Torrie. Vince was appalled that Flair would be with a women half his age. Torrie, in possibly here only sign of brilliance ever, brought up Invasion pants deal between her and Vince. They all shared a hearty laugh, and then Vince got crazy again and made a match with Carlito, for Torrie. So they went out there, and complaint one is that Torrie had her thigh taped because she apparently suffered a leg injury last week. Um, what about her BACK, you know after taking the lung blower last week? Some continuity please! Anyway, this was set fine until they got in the ring, and Carlito decided to work an amateur takedown, yeah. They then stood up, and he grabbed her, hugged her and THEN got the lung blower. That looked like shit and took away from the angle. Not horrible overall, but that end took away from what could have been more effective.
Cena slays two beasts! - This all began with young John Cena coming out to the ring to kick off the show. He cut a promo explaining that he had slain the beast and was ready to move on, because the draft was coming. But then Vince came to the ring, hurt and sorrowful. He then said he lost his belt, and that this would not break him. Cena tried to calm him down, but Vince would have no part of this because Cena had a title belt, but that he would lose it tonight. So he made a match between Cena, Khali and...UUUUUUUUUMAGA~! I actually wished for a 4-way, with Shane, so that TEAM SUK would be in full force. Anyway, they had a match and it was what you expected, super Cena fighting off monsters and doing so successfully. It was fine, but all too similar to what we have been seeing as of late. Also, again WWE was trying to make the audience cheer for a spot, and this did not happen. Like a few weeks ago when Monty and Lashley stood off and the crowd did nothing, we had part II of that this week with Umaga and Khali. They set up the spot and it did not happen the way it was drawn up. This wasn't bad by any means, but not what they wanted and since I have seen it so much already, it goes here.
The wRong:
Santino vs. Masters - Santino was hitting on Maria again backstage as they discussed liking his title belt. Vince walked by, saw his title belt and reminisced about having one of those. He them demanded that Santino GIT to the ring to defend the title. "GIT, GIT, GIT, GIT, GIT, GIT, GIT!" So Santino goes to the ring to defend his title, and it is against Chris Masters, again. This was every Santino vs. Masters match they have had, which is not good. Santino's MMA offense is just bad. Slow kicks, slow judo throws and then the world's slowest La Magistral cradle to win the match. This is not Flair and Steamboat, this is not Finlay vs. Regal and this is not even Booker vs. Benoit. This is shit. These guys need to stop wrestling each other. I am not buying Santino, they have buried Masters now beyond repair, most likely anyway, and this sucked. SUCKED I say!
The Ridiculous:
Devaluing The Night of the Champions - If they did one thing horribly wrong this week I would say that it was having all of those title matches. The Hardy's vs. Dervish was along running program, and while great tonight could have been bigger if saved for PPV. But the big beef here is that in just a few weeks they are having this "Night of the Champions" PPV that people seem to be jerking it to. News flash children, this is hardly a new concept NOR does it mean anything. First of all, they already had this show for the most part, it was called Backlash and I was great. It means nothing to do it so soon after that show. And maybe the "Night of the Champions" should be at, I don't know, WRESTLE FN MANIA? Yeah, thought so. I think some people need to step back and see that they are being financially raped for their loyalty to the almighty WWE. I just think that they did a fabulous job of devaluing that PPV. The show overall was a self-inclusive/stopgap show which worked fine, but this was one gripe I had to share.
Dear Jerry Lawler - You're an idiot. While discussing the draft, Lawler said, "JR, do you realize that next week, we could see the Hardy's broken up!" Asshole, they ARE broken up. They are on two separate shows already! FUCK THE BRAND EXTENSION~!
ECW on Sci-Fi!:
ECW on Sci-Fi!: 5.29.07:
The Right:
La Fraternidad Negra Del Hombre gets a measure of revenge - The one good thing on the show I thought was that of Monty Cor Brown and Young Elijah, who I like to call La Fraternidad Negra Del Hombre, were going to get revenge on the Majors for pinning Matt Striker. Also, they just wanted to get back on the winning track after losing at the PPV. The match was good, Elijah and Monty looked good and the Major Brothers continue to look like they belong. What I mean is that they don't look totally green and forced. They need seasoning for sure, but they don't look out of place. Hopefully they get moved to Raw or Smackdown, where they have a chance to get booked properly in a real tag team division. Anyway, this was fine stuff, about the only really good thin on the show.
puRgatory:
Thorn's Treadmill - As I had worried about, since the split from the New Breed and then the split from Ariel, Thorn has been just running the ECW treadmill like many others had. This week he did battle with Stevie Richards, and while it is always good to see Stevie on TV and he always gives a good match, you know you are treadmill bound when Stevie comes out. Hopefully Thorn gets drafted, because if not he will fall into the CM Punk trap of facing Stevie 43-times over the next year. Thorn also have the problem that he has seemingly become more bland by the week. His in ring work is fine, but he has lost a lot of his presence. JD nailed it I believe by saying that a lot of Thorn's charisma and presence was tied up with Ariel, and now that she is gone it shows.
The wRong:
Punk vs. Striker: That Sucked - You know that this was a total placeholder of a show when CM Punk and THE TEACHER main event the show. No offense to these guys, but I could hear 500,000 TV's change the channel when this came on. Why, because while CM Punk has been booked as important, Matt Striker has been jobbing to everyone and the Majors Brothers. They have this match and it is 7-minutes of Mat Strikers piss poor offence, which consisted of shitty crabs and little else. The crowd did not care, the guys were just going through the motions and I wanted to turn the channel. So Punk makes the comeback, and tries to fire up the crowd with a little dace and then yells, "GO TO SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!" And the crowd replied like they were at a dinner theatre, "What? What did he say? Is it nap time?" But Punk won, Striker is definitely moving in the draft because he has lost to everyone on the roster. This sucked.
The Ridiculous:
Handicap Matches Make Me Cry - ECW kicked off the show with crazy uncle Vince sitting in a Cracker Barrel rocking chair, looking like he was going to molest someone. And then if you can imagine this, it got worse because we had the bane of my existence, the handicap match. Yes, Bobby Lashley would do battle with Tommy Dreamer, Balls Mahoney and THE SANDMAN. This sucked. The "originals" were sloppy and blowing spots left and right and Lashley looked as if he did not want to sell at all. This was just more of Bobby Lashley, superman and between he and Cena I am VERY sick of this. Superman baby faces can be fine, but when you are running TWO of them at the same time, no, it is overkill. So Lashley wins, yet again negating the effect of a HANDICAP MATCH, brilliant. This sucked.
READER RANT TIME~!
From Patrick on Judgment Day -
Hey, I understand about not liking the concussion angle. and yes, HBK is a great actor but I definitely would have preferred a different angle. And I loved The Hardy's vs. Cade & Murdoch but I think the match of the night was Burke vs. CM Punk.
My friends and I were totally in this match and I think the PPV was worth it just for this match. Honestly they are the only thing making us watch ECW, but even though there is nothing else on it we still watch. But don't get me wrong, I love Lashley. I knew when he debuted that he would be big but the Vince angle is just old and ill be happy to see it end. But Burke and Punk I thought tore it up in there, definitely had a different match, and the Elijah Express while Punk was on the top rope was *AMAZING* And I am surprised they got so much time. And a friend of mine that doesn't watch ECW was talking shit about them when the match started; but by the end even he was in and we could all tell he regretted his comments. I just hope they aren't done because I would love to see more.
From The JZA on some things -
Just figured I'd chime in with my 2 cents on the whole Rob Van Dam thing, personally I think that should be solidly in the right side of things. My reasoning is basically that they are now doing with Orton and the legend killer gimmick what they should have done the first time around, which is have him KILL people. I mean remember in 2004, he was just RKO'ing suckas an he was like "yeah that legend has been killed." MOTHERFUCKER IT'S JUST A DIAMOND CUTTER!!!! Bubba Ray was having issues getting pins with that move like a year previous, and now it's meant to be the be all and end all?! Nigga please! They just never seemed to put half the effort into the angle (exception of Foley feud, only Foley came back, kinda negating it) as they are now. In all fairness, I only caught the second half of the match on you tube, so the first part could have sucked major ass for all I know, but the second part that I saw was awesome old-school story telling at it's best with Orton pretty much OWNING Van Dam after the blows to the head that Van Dam sold like a fucking champ. The headlock looked fucking brutal and played into the psychology of the match, built around the big DDT and the KILLER RKO OF DOOM at the end. This, in my view is a good sign that Vince seems to be living up to his claim at the last conference that WWE is going back to solid in-ring product and storytelling. Bear in mind it's only a TV match, clean wins in such scenarios should only be saved for PPV, which with the addition of that match will now be off the fuckin hizzle. It ran for 20 mins, which shows the potential competitiveness of the situation, it established Van Dam's injury going in and made Orton look like a legit badass. (Followed up by him battering Dreamer on ECW)
Don't get me wrong, I know you didn't entirely slate it, but I don't think this match got anywhere near the love it deserved from a wrestling standpoint, and most importantly from a story telling standpoint. I think the net is so consumed with the Orton hating that was all the rage in 2004 and 2005 that it seems to forget he's behind only Edge as one of the top heels in the company right now. On kind of a side note, I think the whole thing with the company punishing employees by affecting the TV program is so ass backwards I don't know where to start. So what if he fucks up on the road? Dock his pay or something, put some sort of backstage restriction on him or something, give him a warning, but if he's bringing the good each and every night like no-one else can, quite frankly it's retarded to keep him down. Fuck the boys, if Orton's star does fizzle out before it can reach it's full potential, the company only has itself to blame for holding back one of their biggest stars. I know the E wants to set a good example to the boys an what not, but aren't they also in the business of making money too?! That kind of mentality always strikes me as cutting off their own noses to spite their faces.
From Edgar -
Get off your soapbox already in regards to the concussion angle. Concussions are a part of the business, just like any other injuries. If you're going to bitch and whine about the concussion angle, then you might as well bitch and whine about any other injury angle (see Mark Henry's path of destruction in mid-2006). Maybe you should retroactively bitch about the Four Horsemen breaking Dusty Rhodes' leg and arm angle. Hey, your bitching's inspired me. I'm going to bitch about the Dusty Rhodes/Four Horsemen angle where the Horsemen injured his leg because Earl Campbell has to rely on a wheelchair nowadays as a result of his busted knees because of his tenure in the NFL.
Yes, I know the severity of concussions, but any severe injury can cause as much damage to a person as a concussion. Just as a concussion leads to post-concussion syndrome, which is emotionally and physically damaging, knowing that you'll be confined to a wheelchair as a result of busted knees or a broken neck is just as bad.
As long as concussions are a part of the business, they will be used in angles, just like any other injury.
