The Wrestling News Experience: 06.11.07
Posted by Stephen Randle on 06.11.2007
It's Draft Day...2007!
Good morning everyone, and welcome to the Experience. I am Stephen Randle, using my power over the Internet to prod you all into seeing Knocked Up, possibly the best movie that you'll ever be able to get your girlfriend to like and still enjoy yourself. Hey, we chose it over Ocean's Thirteen yesterday (although I will admit, it was a tough choice).
Meanwhile, I was going to open this very special Draft Day…2007 edition of the Experience with a song, but it really has nothing to do with wrestling, so we'll save it for the last section. Besides, that punk Csonka keeps ducking me, so I need material for that part anyway.
Moving on.
Around The Horn - Draft Day…2007 Special
Well, due to WWE being off in Ireland, the land of leprechauns and beer so thick and dark you could pave a road with it, there's not been a lot of other related news for this spot (believe me, I checked), so we're giving it all over to become your WWE Draft Day…2007 headquarters, and get you ready for what has become a (semi-)exciting (semi-)annual event for WWE.
Right off the bat, here's what we know about this year's edition of the WWE Draft:
The draft night special will take place tonight, live, starting at a special early time of 8 pm EDT. The draft night will run three hours plus overrun. Isn't this usually stuff I say at the end of the report?
All three brands will have a presence at the Draft special tonight, although it's unclear who will serve as a representative for the ECW brand in order to perform the activity of drafting. Jonathan Coachman and Teddy Long (accompanied by Assistant GM Vicki Guerrero) are expected to serve these capabilities for Raw and Smackdown, respectively.
The opening match for the night has been announced to be John Cena vs Edge in a meeting of the Raw and Smackdown World Champions (despite the fact that Cena has beaten Edge several times in the last few years, including twice for the WWE title, this is apparently now a fresh match). Every match on the Draft show will be an interpromotional match. In an interesting twist, the winner of every match will win for their brand the right to make the next draft pick. Which means that someone from ECW will actually get to win a match over someone from the "real" brands. I bet it's CM Punk.
From the rumour mill, fuelled by WWE.com, is the belief that Batista is one of those slated to be drafted, possibly to Raw, but more likely to ECW. Signs of this include the "Do or Die" stipulation attached to his Vengeance match with Edge, which prohibits Batista from ever challenging Edge for the belt again if he loses, for as long as Edge is champion. With common belief holding that Edge is unlikely to lose the match, a brand switch would seem to be in the offing for the Animal. Also, WWE.com included in their own "Draft FAQ", a seemingly innocuous question about "what would happen if Batista were drafted?". But really, Batista isn't a belt holder, he's just a contender to the World title on Smackdown, and there are many other "what if" scenarios that are more important. Keep in mind that this is all speculation unless proven true tonight, but it is something to think about as we head into the show.
Meanwhile, the WWE.com article also states that injured or returning Superstars (using King Booker as the example) are eligible to be drafted. This could conceivably lead to a number of surprises tonight, as checking the Injury list below (I knew I had that thing for a reason) shows that King Booker, Triple H, Ken Kennedy, and possibly Rey Mysterio, to name a few, are eligible to come off the injured list any day now. Well, obviously Triple H will be staying on Raw, but come on, there are other options.
Not to mention, tonight is also Mr McMahon Appreciation Night, which means long video packages, Vince's insanity growing by leaps and bounds, and surely, some sort of twist ending that leaves Vince a completely broken man. Well, it's how I'd book it, anyway.
In related news in that it affects WWE, Saturday Night's Main Event's ratings are in, and they're lower than the usual rating drawn by Saturday Night Live in the same timeslot, which is oddly impressive since Saturday Night Live has sucked hard for at least five years now. Hey, maybe both wrestling and SNL are on the same cycle. Any chance we could get back to the golden age of Myers, Farley, Spade, Carvey, et al any time soon?
John Cena's new reality show allegedly debuted last week on ABC, but much like the one involving Trish Stratus, I didn't watch it. I should remind my people, I don't affect the ratings of shows one bit, since I'm a Canadian without a Neilson box, but I can further defend myself by pointing out that My Name Is Earl was on at the same time. It was a coin flip, really.
And before I leave this segment, apparently WWE is attempting to have the "assault and battery" lawsuit against them and Sandman thrown out of court because the lawsuit is being filed in a different state than either WWE, Sandman, or the plaintiff reside. I'm not quite sure why that matters, but I assume it's a legal maneuver that'll probably end up working simply by running the plaintiff out of money until she can't afford to pay her lawyers to keep working. Not that I mind, the lawsuit itself is the worst form of time wasting I've ever seen, and I've seen garbage can basketball.
Who's Holding Gold
I question why they bothered having the Hardys-WGTT match at One Night Stand if they were just going to have the Hardys lose the belts to a completely different team the very next night, but I guess that's supposed to be part of the "surprise".
Plus, with Vengeance clarified to mean that every WWE title will be on the line, I'm expecting this will be shaking up a bit.
WWE
WWE Champion: John Cena
- 268 day reign
- defeated Edge on September 16th, 2006 (Unforgiven PPV)
- TLC match stipulation
World Heavyweight Champion: Edge
- 30 day reign
- defeated The Undertaker on May 11th (Smackdown)
- Money in the Bank stipulation
- Next title defense: vs Batista, "Do or Die" stipulation, Vengeance PPV
ECW World Champion: Bobby Lashley
- 8 day reign
- defeated Vince McMahon on June 3rd (One Night Stand)
- Street Fight stipulation
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Santino Marella
- 56 day reign
- defeated Umaga on April 16th (Raw)
- No DQ stipulation
WWE United States Champion: MVP
- 22 day reign
- defeated Chris Benoit on May 20th (Judgment Day PPV)
- 2/3 Falls stipulation
**NEW** World Tag Team Champions: Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch
- 7 day title reign
- defeated The Hardys on June 4th (Raw)
WWE Tag Team Champions: Deuce and Domino
- 52 day reign
- defeated London and Kendrick on April 20th (Smackdown)
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Chavo Guerrero
- 113 day reign
- won Cruiserweight Open on February 18th (No Way Out PPV)
- Cruiserweight Open stipulation involving Jimmy Wang Yang, Funaki, Scotty 2 Hotty, Gregory Helms, Daivari, Shannon Moore, and Jamie Noble
WWE Women's Champion: Melina
- 48 day reign
- defeated Mickie James on April 24th (Milan, Italy house show)
TNA
TNA Heavyweight Champion: Vacant
- title vacated on May 17th (Impact) due to disputed finish of Sacrifice PPV
- Next title match: Slammiversary PPV, June 17th (King of the Mountain match)
TNA Tag Team Champions: Team 3-D
- 50 day reign
- defeated LAX on April 15th (Lockdown PPV)
- Electrified Cage stipulation
TNA X-Division Champion: Chris Sabin
- 148 day reign
- defeated Christopher Daniels on January 14th (Final Resolution PPV)
- Triple Threat match involving Jerry Lynn
The Injury Bug Bites
Inactive List as of 06.04.07
WWE
- Beth Phoenix, RAW, out indefinitely as of June 6 (jaw)
- Chris Jericho, out indefinitely (kayfabe, fired)
- Gregory Helms, SD!, out one year as of May 17th (neck surgery)
- Hardcore Holly, out 3-4 months as of April 3 (elbow surgery)
- Ken Kennedy, SD!, out 6-8 weeks as of May 8 (tricep)
- King Booker, out two months as of April 6 (knee surgery)
- Paul Burchill, SD!, out indefinitely as of May 29 (shoulder)
- Rene Dupree, ECW, out indefinitely as of March 2007 (Wellness)
- Rey Mysterio, SD!, out indefinitely as of October 2006 (knee surgery)
- Shawn Michaels, out indefinitely as of May 15th (knee surgery)
- Super Crazy, RAW, out indefinitely as of April 21 (torn MCL)
- Triple H, RAW, out 4-6 months as of January 7 (torn quadriceps)
- The Undertaker, SD!, expected to miss 6-8 months starting May 9 (bicep)
TNA
- Abyss, TNA, out indefinitely as of April 18 (kayfabe)
- Austin Starr, TNA, out 90 days as of April 18 (suspension)
Transactions
- Ashley, SD!, out indefinitely as of June 8 (kayfabe, suspension)
Not sure where this is entirely going, if anywhere. Could Vince just go insane and have Shane (or…sigh…Steph) steal the company out from under him already? On TV, of course. Or real life, whichever works.
- Scott Steiner, TNA, out indefinitely as of June 5 (trachea surgery)
A huge blow to TNA Slammiversary, as the Steiners-Team 3D match is one that could, conceivably, bring in a bunch of buys, and any substitute match is just going to totally fail to live up to the hype of this one. Also, and more importantly, in such a serious injury, hopefully Steiner takes the time to heal completely, even if it does leave him stuck in a foreign country for a week or so.
One Year Ago This Experience
Originally posted 06.12.06, and the second One Night Stand ever was in the books, with RVD winning his first WWE title. One year later, RVD's on the way out after being busted back to midcard, mostly for one of the most flagrant Wellness violations since the policy was introduced. I mean, taking enough steroids that your liver causes weird test aberrations is one thing, but getting pulled over by a video-equipped cop car while high is just…really, I have no adjectives.
Also, I continued to feud with TSN. They responded by dropping wrestling programming. I can't help but feel that it was partially my fault, and I blame Landsberg. If he would have only had me on his show, this whole mess could have been avoided.
Louis Jones has a couple Draft Day…2007 thoughts. First of all, I expect Vince's "institutionalization" to actually occur, possibly getting underway as early as tonight, since it's the logical path of the storyline. I would love to see the return of a Raw GM, and some sort of authority figure or something for ECW, because frankly, authority figures have been a part of modern wrestling for so long that I'm unsure how stories unfold without them. And I'm half serious there.
Secondly, I don't see any champs moving this year, unlike the Cena-Batista switch, simply because there's no reason to do so, and you would have to switch "equal" titles if you were going to do it, just to keep the shows even. Now, for early guesses as to who will switch brands, I'm going with Batista, CM Punk, and Ken Kennedy as my "big" picks, with a "safe" bet of Matt or Jeff Hardy (probably Matt), and an outside shot of Chris Benoit or Rey Mysterio. You should know, though, that I have horrible luck at picking things like this.
And One To Go On
And now, with only a little further ado, in honour of the Ottawa Senators and their yearly failure…
(oh come on, I'm a Leafs fan, you knew this was coming)
…The Wrestling News Experience is proud to bring to you, with apologies to Adam Sandler and Humble & Fred (who created the original parody that I've slightly modified to apply to this year), ladies and gentlemen…
The Ottawa Song
Here's a little story, about a hockey team
Who may just win the Stanley Cup, but only in their dreams
The team is from Ottawa, the Senators is their name
Soon to be inducted into the Golfing Hall of Fame
They said they'd beat the Ducks, ha, now there's a funny joke
'Cause every year at playoff time the Senators ALWAYS CHOKE
So three cheers for Ottawa, a real team they are not-ta-wa
They can give all that they got-ta-wa
But the Stanley Cup will NEVER go to Ottawa
Ottawa has their Parliament, and MPs in the news
And it's kind of like their hockey team--they talk a lot but don't produce
They're not the brightest either, I really have to say
When the capital of our country spells Canada with a "K"
(Hey, that's Kanata!)
Oh three cheers for Ottawa, they think they've got a shot-ta-wa
But they must be smoking pot-ta-wa
'Cause the Stanley Cup will NEVER go to Ottawa
You better press your plaid pants, it's that time once again
To hear that familiar Ottawa Senator saying, "Tee-off is at 10"
So get ready for the crying, take out your handkerchiefs
You just all got your ass kicked by a team made by Disney
Oh three cheers for Ottawa, a lesson they've been taught-ta-wa
Heatley and Spezza-ta-wa will soon be golfing a lot-ta-wa
What the hell else rhymes with Ottawa, not a whole heck of a lot-ta-wa
They're the team we already forgot-ta-wa
Because the Stanley Cup will NEVER go to…Ottawa
Just remember, it doesn't matter if the Leafs don't win, just as long as Ottawa loses.
Yeah, I'm petty. I'm okay with it.
411 will have live coverage of WWE Draft Day…2007 tonight at a special start time of 8 pm EDT. Larry will be in tomorrow, I'll be back next week.
