The Ripple Effect 6.15.07: The Great ECW Project (Part Three)
Posted by Zac Calhoun on 06.15.2007
Inside, the final solution to ECW's woes, an analysis of the draft, and this question: with Vince being dead, what the hell are all of us who converted to McMahonism supposed to do? I mean, does he count as a diety now?
I hope I don't lose any fans over this, but I'm a huge One Tree Hill fan.
I spent Spring Break 2005 at my parents' house in Texas, where they and (at the time) my older brother lived. Because I had the week off I had an infinite amount of free time on my hands and chose to watch my brother's Season One DVD set of The O.C. And just like the fifteen-year-old girls the creators were targeting, I got sucked right in. I knew I was immediately less credible because I liked it, but I just couldn't help but root for those rich and beautiful Newport folk. Before the week was done, I ended up watching the entire 27 episode season.
A few months later I was back home and raided his DVDs again. This time, I found the first season of One Tree Hill, which I'd only heard of as a standard fare WB teen soap, only less edgy and more corny than the O.C. It turned out that I liked OTH every bit as much, and I was a devoted follower of both shows from that point on. Two years and three seasons later, our friends in Orange County have seen their show put out to pasture, and OTH is now officially a midseason replacement.
Anyway, OTH's fourth season finale aired two nights ago and featured something none of its other season sendoffs have: a bizarre lack of tragedy. If anyone else on 411 watches the show, you were most likely expecting Haley's labor to go horribly wrong, for Karen to be struck with some kind of amnesia from surgery surgery and for at least someone to meet their maker. Thankfully we got none of that, as the entire cast finished the season at peace with themselves and the people around them (except for the one who deserves to be in pain). My friend insists that it's just a backup plan in case they end up getting cancelled after all, but fuck him.
So since the show isn't coming back to the CW until January, I'll have to wait six months to find out what happens to the citizens of Tree Hill, North Carolina. The next season will take place four years after this one, so I haven't the slightest clue what to expect. And I'm sure most of you haven't the slightest clue what I'm talking about. I've grown quite attached to the little high school drama that finished a whopping 137th in the ratings this year, so let's hope the 13 episode order from the CW turns into 22 before too long.
If I Can Be Serious For a Minute…
Well the 2007 WWE Draft has come and gone…and things don't seem to be that different. What we can confirm is that Raw is very important, SmackDown is kind of important, and ECW needs only five over performers to thrive as a brand. And that little thing with Vince went down too.
Let's break down the "random" draft choices one by one, what each superstar means for his (or her) new brand, and what the move means for their old one.
The Great Khali
Drafted from Raw to SD
WWE has been playing hot potato with Khali since the winter time. He went from SD to ECW for about a month then debuted on Raw shortly before WM. Now he's back where he started from seven months ago, which sums up his career nicely I think. I expect him to add as much to the blue brand as he did on both other shows, which is to say none. He's incoherent, he's not athletic, and I'm still not certain he really knows what pro wrestling is all about. The one upside? We can finally see the Punjabi Prison Match as it was meant to be seen.
The Boogeyman (presumably Little Boogey too)
Drafted from SD to ECW
I watched Boogey's debut on ECW about thirty minutes ago, and I can't say it bodes well for Mr. Wright. His role will be the "guy who pops the crowd but never does anything substantial" just like it was on SD. As for Boogey-cito, his little ass didn't show up Tuesday so don't expect him to stick around without a Hornswoggle to chase.
King Booker with Queen Sharmell
Drafted from SD to Raw
The first pick to have a truly big impact, this one definitely got me excited. Our King's reign as world champ was excellent, but I always felt his credibility was hurt because he won the title on SD amidst a ton of injuries. This run will give him a chance to really prove the drawing power of his character. And because they wouldn't dare break up he and Sharmell, she is Raw-bound as well. Things are looking up for the Huffmans, and if you think he'll be buried upon coming to Monday nights, just look at the card for Vengeance. ALL HAIL!
Chris Benoit
Drafted from SD to ECW
This move, combined with Lashley's later in the night, spells great things for the Canadian Crippler. If you take a look at the Bobby-free ECW roster, Benoit is the most logical choice for the next champion. This could finally be his chance to consistently main event and teach the young guys at the SAME TIME. He's done a lot on SD, and the time is right for Benoit to get a fresh start somewhere else. And WWE might see that as well, teaming him with CM Punk and putting them over his first night out.
Torrie Wilson
Drafted from Raw to SD
The crowd…wasn't so jacked about this one. I guess it's an okay move. She was always more memorable when she was on SD anyway, so there's something. To justify the few seconds it took to find a Torrie picture, I got a particularly good one. You're all welcome.
Chris Masters
Drafted from Raw to SD
I had a feeling WWE was going to move the Masterpiece, but I thought ECW would be a better fit. Because of how thin their roster is, Masters wouldn't get lost in the shuffle like he did on Mondays. But he could do pretty well on SD too. I can see him make some waves against people like Matt Hardy or Kane. You could even book some strong/dumb dude connection with Mark Henry and let them wreak havoc. Masters is not too good, but at least he get's another shot.
Bobby Lashley
Drafted from ECW to Raw
I think we all knew this was coming sooner or later. I just thought he would drop the title in traditional fashion on his way out. I guess he gets the Hogan/Austin/Cena "he can't lose the title by simply losing the title" treatment, which is one more thing that'll make the fans HATE Lashley before too long. To his credit, he does fit well on Raw and will definitely make himself more famous fighting for WWE's marquee brand.
Ric Flair
Drafted from Raw to SD
That pic's an old one huh? Anyway, I'm okay with this choice as long as they use him to their best benefit. Putting him in wrestling feuds just doesn't seem to be working anymore, and he needs to be a manager again. I think there's a reason the Dave was celebrating as much as he was Monday night, and I really hope they reunite these two so Batista can regain some of his overness.
Snitsky
Drafted from ECW to Raw
That motherfucker needs his hair back! I'm utterly and completely uninterested in seeing Gene take segments from Shelton Benjamin every week on Raw. On the brightside, this way he can't eventually win the ECW title like we all had a feeling he was going to. As for his new brand, the sooner they put him up against Cena, the angrier I'll be.
Mr. Kennedy
Drafted from SD to Raw
The moment Kennedy emerged after his face appeared on the TitanTron, he fucking owned that Raw stage. He looked like a star coming home, and my anticipation for his return heightened all that much more. I'm one of the guys who thinks Kennedy is fantastic, and although I liked that SD was rapidly becoming his show, this should do good for his career. My only fear is that he'll be forgotten amongst guys like HHH and Orton. Perhaps they plan on turning him face, which would be smart somewhere down the line.
I was going to also include a section on Wednesday's planned supplemental draft, but it was moved to Sunday thanks to…oh wait, did I forget to cover that? Yeah, it seems Vince decided that his time as an on screen personality had finally run its course and finished the saga of Mr. McMahon...well, with a bang. I have to admit, I was completely shocked at the explosion, which I suppose was the point. Hey, if he really wants off TV, there are plenty worse ways to do it. I just wish the angle hadn't prevented everyone from building the Vengeance card. That show is going to be monumentally unimportant.
By the way, who else got the impression that Vince blew up the limo himself, or at least knew it was going to explode? His facial expression, the constant insults throughout the evening, the immediacy of the explosion, all of it suggested that it was a planned suicide. Why the writers are insisting it was a murder boggles my mind. There's no mystery here, Stone Cold didnt' get some final revenge, Vince just offed himself. Anyone else think that's what they were going for?
So goodnight sweet Vince prince…how will your wife and kids ever live fucked up lives without you?
The Great ECW Project
For the past two weeks, the RE has taken a look at one of the most challenging questions in wrestling today: what can ECW do to finally become legitimate? The brand has suffered from a crippling lack of interest ever since it was rebooted last year, and I'm speaking both of fans and management. Two weeks ago, I discussed how ECW must begin by identifying a mainstay to give the brand a sense of unchanging identity (like HHH is for Raw and Taker for SD). Last week, I looked at how WWE needs to do their part to make the brand look legit, in terms of style and production value. For this, the final installment of the Great ECW Project, we tackle the most tricky contingency of all: the existing legacy of Extreme Championship Wrestling.
For that, let's turn to the wisest of all forms of expression: country music.
Part Three – The Final Sendoff
There's this song written by Nashville songwriters Danny Wilde and the singing duo of Brett and Brad Warren. It talks about what happens when a relationship has devolved beyond the point of repair. The advice they give is simple yet oh so profound:
"We're wastin' all our time and energy it seems
To mend our broken hearts as if they were machines
There ain't a tool around that could make us tight
Hell I don't know where all the good times went
Had a pocket full of love now there ain't nothin' left but lint
A handful of good times don't make it right
So move on
There ain't nothing you can do about it
Come on
Love is like a puzzle when the pieces don't fit
There ain't nothing you can do about it
So move on"
See where I'm going with this?
At the much maligned WrestleMania IX in 1993, Hulk Hogan won his fifth WWF Championship in an impromptu match against Yokozuna. Now usually Hogan winning the world title resulted in a very positive reaction from the fans, but this night was a little different. The mega pop reserved only for a true Hulkster triumph didn't commence. The wrestling community did not shake. The whole world did not stand in awe. Basically, people didn't want him in the title picture anymore.
The result? Later that year, at the first PPV production of King of the Ring, Hogan dropped the title for what would be the second-to-last time in his career. Yoko (and a ball of fire) defeated Hulk, no one was really that sad, and Hogan was out of the company not long afterward. For the first time since Hulkamania came to life, the backstage shenanigans outweighed the potential for money. After Hogan's departure, Vince began reinventing the way the WWF entertained. Guys like Bret Hart, the Clique and Yoko became the new focus, and pretty much everyone from the "old generation" was phased out. The message Vince sent was clear: it's time to move the hell on.
Fourteen years later, the members of the new ECW find themselves at a similar crossroads. The image of the old ECW lingers on and places expectations on every show they produce, expectations they either will not or cannot meet. The bookers want them to learn WWE style. The hardcore purists want them to book exploding ringpost matches. The rest of us just want to see some good wrestling. But none of these things are really happening, and it's because that comparison to the ECW of old will always be there. At least, it will be as long as they acknowledge it.
In order for the fans to accept ECW as a viable brand (viable meaning comparable to either Raw or SD), they must let go of the old ECW spirit. The legacy of Paul E's pet project is very special and went a long way to shape how we view wrestling. But WWE simply operates under a different mindset. For them to imitate an alien style just makes their productions come off ingenuine and second-rate. Remember when WCW tried to emulate Vince's Attitude style? It sucked ass.
By running old ECW footage in the opening montage, by intentionally trying to make the show look low budget, and by putting Tommy Dreamer and Sandman over wrestlers with actual futures, WWE is holding themselves and the wrestlers of ECW back. If they want THEIR fans to take the brand seriously, they need to make it a true WWE broadcast. There is a reason people throw around the phrase "bingo hall" every time ECW comes up. They're not associated with "big time", and WWE is "big time."
Let me be clear: I like the old ECW. I think having Tommy Dreamer and Sandman around is very cool and adds a lot to the show. But in no way do they need to be near the top five or six babyfaces on the roster. Their best days are behind them, and they need to be used as such.
Not only that, but WWE needs to treat that one hour a week on Tuesday nights as if it was their only chance to showcase the talent of their roster…because it is. So give them a chance to shine by putting something into the shows. Give them a cool looking set on which to make their entrance, comparable to the one on Raw or SD. Give them a fancy pyro show to open the broadcast, instead of panning to an unenthusiastic crowd. Everyone wants them to prove themselves, especially the WWE staff. They just need a chance to do so without the shadow of ECW hanging over them.
They must rid themselves of any elements of the old ECW that won't help them get anyone over. This includes but is not limited to…
Balls Mahoney
Little Guido
Trinity
The "Bodies" theme song (wasn't it popular around the time ECW died the first time?)
The generic rock they use for every guy's music
The tent they use for the entrances (MVP's tunnel is bigger)
That brings us to a question I have for you guys. ECW has a lot of dead weight hanging around, dead weight that holds them back from legitimacy every week. If you were in charge of the brand (and I know all of you should be), what would you toss overboard and what would you salvage?
What must the ECW brand lose or gain to compete with the other two brands?
WWE's wasted a lot of energy trying to make ECW into something they don't really have the ability to make it into. They don't have the mindset to truly capture the spirit of hardcore, yet they try it anyway. ECW had a monumental impact on the wrestling industry that persists to this day. But it was what it was because of the people behind it. You want to use the letters and some of the old faces? That's awesome. Just don't try to do something you can't with them.
Like Yokozuna dropping his fat ass on Hulk Hogan's chest, the old ECW was squashed in 2001. Giving us three minute Sandman matches every Tuesday isn't going to get it back. So this goes out to the boys behind WWECW: you've proven to me you want to establish a cornerstone by drafting Benoit. You've proven you want ECW's image to strengthen by looking for a better timeslot. Now prove to me that you're really serious about this whole thing…and just move on.
Heyman's vision is dead and gone, and there ain't nothin' you can do about it.
My Peeps
Be sure to check out the whole kit and kabootle of columns here at 411 Wrestling. These are the guys who made me want to do this, and I know their words ring true to you guys too.
Like sand through the hourglass, and thankfully the rain outside my apartment as well, the RE now comes to a close. As of this posting date, the RE is six months old TO THE DAY! I've got to say, It's a miracle my attention span has hung on long enough to write a column 26 of these last 27 weeks, and let's hope we can get to the year mark before Larry gives me the old "kiss it or you're fired" treatment.
Next week I promise to talk more about Vengeance than I did this week (which was none at all), but if WWE is allowed to ignore it then so am I.
