News to Start Your Weekend 6.15.07
Posted by Nick Marsico on 06.15.2007
In the memory and the spirit of Mr. Vincent Kennedy McMahon
I missed last week's column. Honestly, I got lost. I was trying to get to Microsoft Word, and I must have missed the exit on the Start Menu parkway, because I ended up in Excel, and when I tried to turn around and start over I found myself in Access, and that's at least three times worse a neighborhood that Excel is. Once I thought I had finally righted myself by getting out of Access and into the Microsoft Office expressway, I got distracted by a lovely female paper clip who flashed me thanks to my WOW sticker. Oops. Somehow I ended up in the Clip Organizer, so I gave up and went home to the Desktop. A little while later I started over, but the exit I normally take to get to Word was closed, and the detour sign was poorly lit and I didn't see it. Fuck. I tried an alternate route of my own that I've used once or twice before, through the Quick Launch turnpike, but I ended up on Weatherbug road, and fuck if I didn't want to be there. I got pissed but I saw a sign for Project64 and just gave up and stayed there for the night. I woke up and finally just asked for directions, but the son of a bitch made me buy something, so I decided to ignore his directions and just go the exact opposite way. And of course I just got more lost. That's the short of it. I made it here today without a problem, though. I even left early just in case.
==================== a time of mourning
If only I would have made it last week, I could have taken off this week because I'm feeling so broken up that it's going to be tough for me to get through this one. For the fans, however, I will get through this. Vince McMahon was taken away from us earlier this week by some terrible person that WILL BE FOUND. The Federal Bureau of Investigation is on the case now and I am sure that they will uncover the culprit of this crime against humanity and he will be brought to justice. There were no traces of Vince McMahon's body found after the tragic blast, which leaves his family and people like myself no final closure on his life, and for that I mourn even deeper this week. On top of that, this Sunday is Father's Day, thus making the whole situation even worse for his son and daughter Shane and Stephanie, who are no doubt crushed. I have even heard that son-in-law Triple H will be taking extra time off past his original return date in order to personally mourn and be there for his wife in this hard time. I just wish he could be on television to make me and many fans like me feel better about it by knowing that at least he could be strong through this time, but I understand the way he feels.
We should just remember that, in this tough time, Vince's life should be celebrated and we should try not to be too sad so we can remember all of the better times. A true tragedy has taken place, and we have lost one of the true greats that have come from the wrestling business. He is the man who made the business what it is today, and his memory will live on with that.
Rest In Peace, Vince. God rest his everlasting soul.
- Hulk Hogan is currently on top of the world, and he has recently been seen on TV with his new lucrative Mid-Atlantic supermarket chain commercials. Truly a man who knows and opportunity when he sees one.
- WWE's new developmental promotion is going to be called Florida Championship Wrestling and will be stationed in Tampa. Their first show is to be held on June 26.
- The supplemental WWE draft will now be held on this Sunday at noon on the dot com.
- Ron Killings is set to make his return to TNA at Slammiversary, being a part of the match with Frank Wycheck. It will not be Wycheck and Jerry Lynn versus James Storm and Ron Killings. Originally Storm was supposed to be teaming with somebody I can't be bothered to remember, but it was changed for whatever reason. I guess Killings is a heel now. Okay.
- Ashley Massaro's suspension is due to her taking a spot in the next season of Survivor. God, I hope she doesn't make it through and has to leave before she even gets the chance to be eliminated. Either by getting sick and not being able to continue (nothing life threatening, you faggots who will try to call me out on this) or even better, she will realize that she just can't do it and cry and have to leave. I cringe every time she speaks – she's one of the worst personalities in the history of wrestling, and she's probably an annoying person, too. BCUZ SHEZ A PUNK, YA NO? SOOO COOOL. BUCK THE SYSTEM, MAAAAAAAAAN
- Hey, douchebag who told me that WWE sold 80,000 tickets for WrestleMania – the official paid attendance was 66,670. Maybe there were 80,173 there, but they didn't all pay. Therefore I'm right. Just like 93,000 people didn't pay to go to WrestleMania III.
- Some dopey British chick got signed by WWE apparently:
It's true, I will be doing the TV show WWE Wrestling, Smack Down and RAW. I will be Wrestling with sexy strong women and acting in a ring with the big guys in front of a live audience for TV. WWE Wrestling association is internationally known, so I'm hoping you can all view the show from your homes. The biggest superstar Internationally recognized is MR. Hulk Hogen who I recently met up with in Miami, who gave me some great fitness training and nutrition tips.
I'm going to be in Hawaii in July modeling my calendar and new bikini swim-wear label, it's all very exciting as you can imagine, this is something i've waited a lifetime for...
In the mean time I'm now back in the London Until the end of July.
Louise Glover x
Yes, Hogan is their biggest star. I really don't get it. Did they hire her so she can communicate with Layla El? I know they're from a foreign land and all.
- Sid Vicious wants to return to the ring. I really have nothing fun to say about this, honestly.
- On his website, Ken-Kennedy.com, Mr. Kennedy ranted on internet fans and reporters. The most notable thing he said was "…and that every win and loss is determined by some sort of backstage politics. Bull ****." I don't think anybody is saying EVERY win, Ken. But at this point it's laughable for people to think that those of us who use the internet don't know about some of the shit that certain people have done. Maybe we don't know the details, but we know who the assholes are. I do love how some of the guys are so quick to criticize, though, and decide to completely ignore all of the truthful stuff that goes on here. Oh well.
- The guy who got his job with WWE by writing an angle where Stephanie McMahon would be possessed and then exorcised on PPV also said that it was definitely a bad idea for Kane to jack off his 3 foot long dick in the movie See No Evil. I mean yeah, it's ridiculous, but at least it would be hot.
- Apparently Torrie Wilson was selling the leg injury she got from Carlito backstage at shows. It is said that she was doing method acting. FOR LIMPING?
- TNA still thinks they're getting a two hour TV deal soon.
================== ring of honor things
- Apparently, if Bryan Danielson (or Brent Albright or Adam Pearce, I'd assume) wins the NWA World Title, ROH will not recognize it and won't book to protect their status as the NWA World Champion.
- Matt Sydal has chosen to once again team with Claudio Castagnoli to challenge for the ROH World Tag Titles on 6/22 in Dayton. The rematch will be a 2/3 Falls match against the Briscoes. Even though it is only the second match of their series, the Briscoes have requested that it be 2 out of 3 falls due to the fact that they have won their last two of those matches in two straight falls.
- At the Death Before Dishonor V weekend on August 10 and 11, both Claudio Castagnoli and Brent Albright will be respectively getting their first shots at the Ring of Honor World Title. Claudio has his shot in Boston and Albright will be challenging the World Champion in Philadelphia.
- The special surprise match that occurred at the Philly show last weekend will not be featured on the DVD of that show and will first be seen on the September PPV. The DVD of the rest of the 6/9 event will come out before the PPV airs.
- Ring of Honor wrestlers will be touring with Pro Wrestling NOAH at the end of this month into July prior to ROH's big debut shows in Japan. The next NOAH tour will go from 6/28 until 7/15, and ROH's Japan dates are 7/16 and 7/17. The wrestlers appearing are Nigel McGuinness, Bryan Danielson, Jay & Mark Briscoe, Rocky Romero and Davey Richards. This will be the second appearance for Brian Danielson and the Briscoes, and Rocky's second appearance as himself as opposed to the Black Tiger character. Nigel McGuinness has already worked in NOAH multiple times, and this is Davey Richards' first time. It was a dream for him to work in NOAH, and now he will accomplish one of his biggest goals for his career.
- The cards for the next two Ring of Honor shows are as follows:
June 22, 2007 – Dayton, OH
- Bryan Danielson & Nigel McGuinness vs. Takeshi Morishima & Naomichi Marufuji
- Jay & Mark Briscoe vs. Claudio Castagnoli & Matt Sydal (World Tag Titles)
- KENTA vs. Rocky Romero
- Roderick Strong & Davey Richards vs. Matt Cross & Erick Stevens
- BJ Whitmer vs. Brent Albright (No DQ)
- Kevin Steen & El Generico vs. Irish Airborne
- Delirious vs. Chris Hero vs. Adam Pearce vs. Pelle Primeau vs. Jimmy Rave (Gauntlet Series)
June 23, 2007 – Chicago Ridge, IL (PPV Taping)
- Bryan Danielson vs. KENTA
- Jay & Mark Briscoe vs. Kevin Steen & El Generico (World Tag Titles)
- Nigel McGuinness vs. Chris Hero
The only match from this show confirmed to be on the PPV is the Tag Title match. Bryan Danielson vs. KENTA and Nigel McGuinness vs. Chris Hero will only be on the DVD of the show that will be released after the PPV is aired. The PPV will feature the Tag Title match as well as Nigel McGuinness vs. Bryan Danielson (taped on 6/9) and other matches that will be taped at the 6/23 show that will likely be announced next week leading up the show that takes place next Saturday night.
==================== wwe one night stand – june 3, 2007
- I didn't write a column last week, so I may as well talk about One Night Stand today. Honestly, it was a disappointing show. I actually made it a point to watch it again to see if anything would change my opinion, but I haven't yet been able to bring myself to do so. Upon first viewing, however, it really was nothing special. I wouldn't call it bad, so it keeps up the streak of fine enough PPVs, but with a card as promising as it was, the show really should have been better.
- Van Dam vs. Orton was pretty good. Not as good as their match at Armageddon 2003, but still good. It set the tone for what I thought was going to end up being a very good show, as it was done well enough to be a good opener. It's a shame they couldn't keep it up.
- The tables match was quite meh. It wasn't necessarily bad, but it was short and disjointed. The finishing spot was fine as was Cor Von finally using the Alpha Bomb. That was cool.
- The first real disappointment of the night was the ladder match. It wasn't a bad match, but it was just… there. The spots were set up poorly, a few spots were blown and there were a lot of mediocre falling from high places spots that were really just dangerous for no good reason. I did like the special huge ladder version of the spot where Shelton jumps over Charlie's back and lands on the opponent's back, though.
- I think it would be better if we all just ignored the Lumberjack match. I marked out for Stevie jumping on Balls' back and for Val being more into the match than either of the wrestlers in it and the entire crowd.
- Shane flying around everywhere was good, as usual, but other than that, the ECW Title match was too long and boring. Vince's offense (RIP) was also sleep inducing. It's a shame that has to be my last PPV memory of the man himself.
- Not enough boobage in the pudding match. Melina looked especially good, though, in her bikini. I was hoping she would lose the top, but that would have made too much sense.
- Batista sucks. Edge did everything he can, but Batista apparently figured that since he has been getting some praise for his three matches with the Undertaker, he has leeway to go back to doing nothing for a while. Somebody mentioned that Batista showed much more intensity and passion while beating up the announce table after the match than he did during the match, and it's completely true. If he showed some of that fire during his matches, they'd probably be much better.
- Khali vs. Cena was about as good it was going to be. Cena did everything he could to make it watchable, and that's what it was.
- In the end, it was about on par with the Judgment Day show. Not great, but not bad either. We've been telling everybody during our RocketBusta Radio shows not to buy the PPVs until they can be consistently good, with good TV leading up to it. The TV shows have been fine for the past couple of months, and WWE hasn't done a bad PPV all year. New Year's Revolution was pretty good, the Royal Rumble was very good, No Way Out was fine, WrestleMania was good, Backlash was great, Judgment Day and One Night Stand were pretty good. The idea has been that as long as they keep on this path through the next two PPVs (Vengeance and Great American Bash), then we won't be dismayed by people buying the shows. I still won't pay for them unless they become consistently very good and there's a card that I'm really excited for (which I don't see happening for a long while, honestly), but I'll be able to understand other people getting them.
==================== random thoughts
- I wish they would have spent more time building up to the PPV they have a week from this Sunday on RAW. I read that they're looking to cut down to 14 shows a year, which is still too many, but at least they're noticing that there's a problem when you have 3 PPVs over the span of one month. Granted they technically have 2 in that time period when there are 12 a year because the span of a month is, of course, one month, so that makes sense. But when you have a show, skip a Sunday and have another show, and then skip 2 Sundays and have another show, there's something wrong. I guess they did realize the error of their ways and are just trying to compensate now by doing gimmick shows (all hardcore and all of the titles on the line), which are good concepts when they're in this predicament, but they're the ones who got themselves into it in the first place.
As it stands, they have one more episode of both RAW and ECW and two more episodes of SmackDown including tonight's show to build. The only build on RAW was Mick Foley's promo for the main event, and maybe Booker's return. On ECW, they had the tag match that ended awkwardly that will set up the four way title match. On SmackDown, they at least have the already going Edge/Batista feud, but it's barely a feud and nothing has really happened between them. Plus, it's Batista, so who cares? At this point it's only about getting Batista out of the picture so Edge can move on. Tonight on SmackDown a CW Title match gets set up, and there is a bit of a feud there, which is fine, but it doesn't get air time every week, and there have been no promos whatsoever to build it up more. Yeah, Yang has a bunch of singles and tag wins over Chavo, plus all the way back in February Chavo screwed Yang over to win the belt, but that's it. They also look to be setting up MVP vs. Flair.
It looks, at this point, then, that we have five matches certain for the show. The WWE Title match (Cena vs. Booker vs. Orton vs. Lashley vs. Foley), the WHC match (Edge vs. Batista), ECW Title (Punk vs. Cor Von vs. Burke vs. Benoit), US (MVP vs. Flair) and Cruiserweight (Chavo vs. Yang). There's nothing going on at all for Santino and the IC belt, no tag teams were even on RAW, so they didn't continue the three way feud with the Hardys, Cade & Murdoch and the WGTT, the Women's belt has Melina and Candice, and the SmackDown tag belts probably will see the rematch with D&D vs. L&K.
WWE Championship
John Cena vs. Bobby Lashley vs. King Booker vs. Randy Orton vs. Mick Foley
World Heavyweight Championship
Edge vs. Batista
ECW World Title
Chris Benoit vs. Elijah Burke vs. Marcus Cor Von vs. CM Punk
United States Championship
MVP vs. Ric Flair
Intercontinental Championship
Santino Marella vs. ???
World Tag Team Championship
Cade & Murdoch vs. ???
WWE Tag Team Championship
Deuce & Domino vs. London & Kendrick
Cruiserweight Championship
Chavo Guerrero vs. Jimmy Wang Yang
Women's Championship
Melina vs. Candice Michelle
Really, the only two matches that aren't probably set in stone are the Intercontinental and World Tag belts. Everything else seems pretty clean cut, but Santino has nobody other than Masters he's been feuding with, but Masters is gone. Maybe Carlito. Cade and Murdoch have been feuding with the Hardys, and the World's Greatest Tag Team has been a part of the whole thing as well. Plus, they've been building Cryme Tyme up a little bit again, and Nitro and Dykstra have been looking very good as a team. I think it's possible that we may see THE RETURN of Tag Team Turmoil. It honestly doesn't look like a bad card, really.
- Speaking of RAW, it was fine. It's a shame it had to be so draft heavy that there was no storyline stuff at all, but the matches were decent. Cena vs. Edge was the first 10 or so minutes of what looked to be the beginning of a really good 20+ minute match. Punk vs. Carlito was a fun TV match, Benoit carried Lashley to a good match that was reminiscent of the Benoit/Batista match in 2004 (I think it was 2004, at least).
- I dug the clip of Vince making Trish bark like a dog, but I wish they would have kept in the "TAKE YOUR BRA OFF AND TAKE IT OFF NOW" line.
- MVP and Santino looked good in their little match, but the finish was kind of abrupt.
- I was actually disappointed when Snitsky came out for his match, because I was looking forward to seeing the continuation of Miz' progress.
- Candice continues to look good.
- I like Benoit's move to ECW, and now that Lashley's gone, the direction of ECW looks to completely change. All of a sudden they have a title and a new great veteran who can make the up and coming stars look quite good. This should prove to be a very good thing.
- I'll reserve judgment until some time passes, but all of a sudden RAW seems way too top heavy.
- Flair should be a fine addition to the SD roster, and hopefully Masters can start anew and do something good over there.
- Austin's promo on RAW was pretty funny.
- I hope CM Punk and Boogeyman become on-screen friends on ECW.
==================== the end
The News All Balled Together will return next week. I went to Ring of Honor's show in Philadelphia last Saturday. I'll talk about that tomorrow night on RocketBusta Radio. That seems to be about all. For TNA's show this Sunday:
Samoa Joe, Jay Lethal, Sting, Eric Young, Wycheck & Lynn, LAX, Alex Shelley, VKM. The Dudleys will win whatever match they end up in.
Read Ari's column! And all of Larry's stuff! And whatever else!
