The Fink's Payload 06.18.07: Draft Lottery Special (Part II)

Posted by Halden, Adamson and Wilcox on 06.18.2007

Part II of the Draft Lottery Special. How would you have booked the Draft? How close to the real thing were your suggestions? Plus the Draft Lottery as booked by Dan, Ryan and Rob.

Rob: Welcome one, welcome all to the only fantasy booking show in town, The Fink's Payload. Last week the Fink was so virile his Payload was far too much to be contained within one meagre column, and many of you may have noticed that not all the column actually got printed. For that we offer our apologies, and also these delicious brownies that Dan baked.

Mmmmmm don't they smell great? Go ahead, help yourselves.

But to make it up to you all we've got all of the Draft Lottery booking suggestions that didn't make it into last week's column. Just call this Part Two: Fink's Revenge. And joining me this week (well, technically last week) are…

Dan: Purveyor of Screwjobs and Reporter of Raw.

Ryan: Digger of the Impact Crater.

Dan: We're getting closer to the end of our HUGE Draft Lottery Special now, but here's Steve;

The way I'm planning on doing this is having a total of 15 wrestlers switching brands. 6 going to Raw, 6 going to Smackdown, and 3 going to ECW.

New Raw Superstars

Chris Benoit- This seems very logical at this point. He could feud with Orton, possibly Cena, and Triple H.

Snitksy- He could fill the role of in-between feud for Cena like Umaga and Khali have in the past.

Finlay- It seems like he is just stuck in the same place on Smackdown. This could be a nice addition to the Raw Roster as he could have some great matches with Benjamin, Jeff Hardy, and HBK just to name a few. Plus I could see a Flair/Finlay feud in the future.

Matt Hardy- I don't think they are going to split the Hardys right now. Plus if they are really going to start keeping the brands separate it makes sense having the tag champs be on the same brand

Michelle McCool- You know the women's division could use a boost when Candace Michelle is getting a title push. The seeds were planted for this move when McCool won the battle royal a few weeks back

Smackdown Superstars

CM Punk- I think he will go to Smackdown for now, and then finally go to Raw later this year. Could possibly boost the cruiser weight division

Carlito- Should have never left Smackdown in the first place. A set of fresh matches with Kennedy and Batista are almost certain to take place

JTG/Shad (cryme tyme)- You can only take so much of Deuce/Domino vs London/Kendrick matches. Don't get me wrong they are entertaining matches but its good to get some new faces

Kevin Thorne- Another guy that could use the boost of being on a new brand. Could be US title material soon

ECW

Kenny Dykstra- Still has plenty of potential. I think a change to ECW might do him some good. Just needs a character, he really doesn't have one right now

Rey Mysterio Jr.- They will need another face to fill the role that CM Punk created by leaving. He really needs a fresh start since his ill-fated title run and injury

Johnny Nitro- Could actually be a top contender to the ECW title. He still has a big bush ahead of him, but it wont take place at RAW at the moment.

Dan: Absolutely fine with all of these except for, again, Matt Hardy. Good work.

Rob: Yeah. Good. Again, no surprises or shocks or "Cool!" moments. But decent enough.

Ryan: Jesus, I never would have guessed that so many people would talk about moving Kenny Dykstra to ECW. Frankly, I don't know that it would do him any good. On Raw, Smackdown, or ECW, the guy is bound to be at the bottom of the pecking order for the next several years because of his lack of age and experience. The company has already seen what happened backstage when they shoved a young Randy Orton immediately to the top of the card, and I think that they're going to be hesitant to make the same mistake twice. So, really, all of these Dykstra moves won't accomplish much. I think that the company will bide their time with him no matter what.

Dan:Here's P-Kon;
Alright, this is kind of long. But its a 3 hour draft! It has to be.

WWE DRAFT LOTTERY 2007
The show opens with Coach coming to the stage followed by three Divas each wheeling out a tumbler with the names of every superstar, diva, manager, etc inside the balls. One for ECW, one for Raw, and one for Smackdown! Coach announces that a representative from each brand will take turns and draw 5 names total from the opposing tumblers. 2 from each and your choice for the 5th. He will choose for Raw, Theo for Smackdown!, and the man of the hour (or 3 hours), Vincent Kennedy
McMahon will draw for ECW!

Vince comes out to a slew of boos and bows. He thanks everyone for showing up to Mcmahon appreciation night just to cheer him. Then Teddy comes out and announces that the draft is now underway. Teddy moves toward the tumblers and decides if he wants to choose from RAW or ECW first. He chooses and reaches into the ECW tumbler and draws a name. Opens it up and, looking glum, moves speaks into the microphone. "Well this draft is already off to a slow start. The first superstar to move
to Smackdown! is....CM Punk!" Smiling huge now and the crowd goes nuts.
Lockeroom shot of all the ECW stars watching the moniter and Punk cheers and runs out to the stage. Shakes teddy's hand and tells him how excited he is to be moving to SD! and thanks all the fans for supporting him on ECW and asks if they would continue to support him on SD!

Vince is up next and draws from RAW. He opens up the first ball and tosses it. Opens a second and tosses it. Opens a third and then Thaddeus stops him. "What are you doin playa? You can only take one ball." Maybe he doesnt realize who he's talking to or that its McMahon appreciation night. Vince then says, "I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT! I'M THE BOSS DAMNIT!" Then he walks to the mic and announces the first pick to ECW, UUUUUUUMaga! And announces Umaga vs. Lashley for the ECW title in an extreme rules match as the main event for tonight's RAW. Done to
death but means something tonight.

Coach is up next and chooses from Smackdown! With little hesitation he announces the first pick to RAW, the Canadian Crippler Chris Benoit! Shows the lockeroom after each draft pick and Benoit is Benoit about the decision. Next, out to the ring is MVP. He cuts a promo saying how happy he is that Benoit is off of SD! and that he now has no one in his way that can stop him. Vince is pissed cause he lost his title and
books MVP/Benoit for the US Title on RAW and if Benoit wins the UST will move to RAW.

Next picks are more laid back in terms of content surrounding the moves. Teddy picks from RAW and announces the 2nd pick to SD! will be... Randy Orton! Take that trouble maker! Orton is furious and Batista chuckles. Randy asks if he thinks something is funny and voila, we have a match. Vince take the second ball he picks from SD! and announces the 2nd pick to ECW will be.... KANE! Coach makes his 2nd pick from the ECW tumbler and chooses.... Snitsky! Solid picks i think, with the obvious exception, with lockeroom shots of their reactions, Snitsky is in a small dark closet with a moniter. Back to the lockeroom, Edge and Orton are talking and Edge says he respects Randy telling him that he would challenge for the title if he was drafted and not to worry because he had his back tonight against Batista. Next match, Orton w/Edge vs Batista. Back and fourth contest with Edge interfering to cost Batista the match. He raises Orton's hand and then Spears the SHIT out of him.

Teddy makes his third pick from RAW. And it is...Chris Masters. (But who will Santino Marrela fight now?) Vince picks from Raw and again goes through a ball or two before choosing. Teddy says something again and Vince tells him to shut up. He announces that a promising young up and comer by the name of Kenny Dykstra will be gracing ECW with his presence. Coach applauds Vince's pick and announces his third. From ECW, KEVIN THORN!

Now we have our UST match. Benoit is on the verge of winning with a Crossface when Snitsky comes in and destroys him, setting up a feud between the two.

Vince sorts through the balls once again, with Teddy asking him what he is doing. Vince yells and grunts for a while and picks... Rey Mysterio! Coach again tells vince he did a great job choosing. Teddy is furious. Vince tells him to pick his next draftee or, "YOU"RE FIRED!" Teddy picks from ECW. Next to SD!... Matt Striker. Coach picks from SD! The 4th draftee to RAW... William Regal! (Then they better put the ICT on him because Regal without a title insults me.)

We now have our main event contest for the ECW World Title. Vince tries to cost Lashley the match but he pulls out the win. Vince goes madcrazybanananutz! He then goes to pick his last ball and Teddy says its not his turn. Vince ignores him and starts checking balls. Teddy makes a comment and Vince unleashes on him. Throws the tumbler at him and has Umaga hit the spike. Vince finds his ball of choice... TEDDY
F'in LONG! He then has Umaga drag him backstage and calls out the new, head GM of SD!... Vicki Guerrero to pick the last ball for SD! She picks from RAW... Johnny Nitro!

Coach goes to pick his final ball when some slightly familiar music hits. The crowd both boos and cheers. You guessed it. The champ is here and curious about the last draft pick. He is in the ring with a mic and does a rap! Yes, lets bring it back! A rap on the possibilities of who the last pick could be. Coach then ponders who the last pick will come from. The SD! tumbler was emptied out due to Vince and Umaga's attack on T-Lo. The balls were scattered all over the stage. Except, one last remaning ball. Coach picks up the tumbler and withdraws the ball. He slowly opens it and the crowd and cena eagerly await the verdict. Coach walks backstage, leaving everyone wondering, but returns after just a short wait.

Coach begins a long speech about how much will change after the night. About how the draft has definitely shaken things up. The extent to which will only become apparent when he reads his final choice. And as he is building up to revealing the name, Batista slides in the ring behind Cena. the crowd is going nuts. Coach points behind cena and yells... BATISTA! Cena turns around and eats a spinebuster. Followed by another and then a Batista Bomb. Batista then stands over Cena and
holds the WWE Title high above his head. End of show.....

Final Tally: To ECW (Umaga, Kane, Kenny Dykstra, Rey Mysterio, Teddy Long) To SD! (CM Punk, Randy Orton, Chris Masters, Matt Striker, Johnny Nitro) To RAW (Chris Benoit, Snitsky, Kevin Thorn, William Regal, Batista)

Thanks for taking the time to read it.

P-Kon

Dan: It's about time Batista turns heel again and this is a great way of doing it. I like how you've booked the entire show – all the picks are solid and you've created some great feuds in the process; I'm particularly keen on Orton and Edge continuing the feud, although I'd be a bit conservative about turning Orton heel while he's in the middle of this monster heel push.

Rob: Heel Batista, brilliant, exactly what we all need. We get to keep the Cena Vs A Monster thing they love so much, the older smarks who hate Cena can get on the Batista bandwagon and hopefully recapture some of that earlier magic he had towards the end of Evolution. Plus, if ‘Tista is played right then we got some BIG money matches between them, and a returning HBK and HHH.

Ryan: Regal getting an IC Title program on Raw actually isn't the worst of ideas. As noted previously, Marella really lacks a good deal of experience at this point, and one of the best ways for young wrestlers to improve is to work with veterans for extended periods of time. He's certainly not going to learn those lessons against Chris Masters, and Regal is as good a choice as any to show Santino the ropes.

Dan: And last but not least is Andrew;

To RAW
1 Chris Benoit
2 The Boogeyman
3 Michelle McCool
4 Booker T
5 Matt Striker

To Smackdown
1 CM Punk
2 Johnny Nitro
3 Carlito
4 Torrie
5 Marcus Cor Von

To ECW
1 Rey Mysterio
2 Mark Henry
3 The Miz
4 Jeff Hardy
5 Chris Masters

Overall it would appear Smackdown comes out the best if you look at workrate. CM Punk is a star on the rise and along with Nitro could bring back memories of the famous Smackdown 6. Letting these two get in the mix with Edge, Hardy and MVP would help elevate them. Carlito is coming on a fresh heel turn and just seems to be a better fit for SD anyway. Torrie is well, T&A that is a fits in Smackdown's "women's division". Marcus Cor Von is the wild card here. Moving to Smackdown to work with guys like Finlay, Regal and Taylor would either help him improve to what people hope for with Cor Von or it would show that he just isn't of the right mold to make it.

RAW gets an automatic main event in Benoit vs Cena and another with the return of Booker. Michelle McCool has already shown she's better than Torrie as a women's wrestler. While Boogeyman is pretty much a waste on any show he could still be used in a semi-Goldust way for cheap humor. Striker is decent enough to team with someone like Kenny Dykstra in the tag division and carry the mic work or play the Regal role of mentor for Eugene for what I believe would be great comedy. (Also imagine Eugene NOT being afraid of Boogey and Boogey trying to find ways to frighten poor Eugene. Also the idea of Umaga or Khali killing Worm Boy is nice)

ECW loses a lot or talent and potential in Punk and Cor Von, but it gains more in name value with Jeff Hardy and Rey Mysterio, the latter which is already a main event player upon return. Mark Henry could easily replace Cor Von as Elijah Burke's muscle and has already set seeds for a small program with Lashley. The Miz is improving inside the ring and love him or hate him, he brings a touch of Charisma ECW is severely lacking. Chris Masters has been buried on Raw and has little credibility there. There is no chance Masters could keep up with the workrate on SD, so a switch to ECW may do him some good as he could have a chance to be rebuilt by beating "originals" like Sandman and Dreamer.

Dan: I think you've given a pretty even spread of talent to each brand so well done for that. I like the talent you've injected into ECW – Miz can be a great mid card heel there. Hardy is a great fit and Henry would be a fun opponent for Lashley for a short program. I don't see the point in moving Boogeyman around when it's obvious even WWE just sees him as a comedy wrestler/jobber at this point. Good job all round.

Rob: I think ECW got really shafted here, but mainly because I have no faith in Rey as a top level main event guy (hey, neither does WWE! For example, see his title reign). So that ECW crop looks terrible. Henry, the Miz, Chris Masters and Jeff Hardy. Did ECW hurt you in a previous life? Have they wronged you in some way that you would inflict that upon them?

Ryan: Okay, you get this week's gold star for proposing that Eugene vs. Boogeyman feud. I know that I should care more about the main events, but those two working against each other in wacky skits for a couple of months would be the single most entertaining thing in professional wrestling in 2007. My only question is whether the Mini Boogeyman would be allowed to come over with Big Boogey, because William Regal vs. a midget in a 1970's style comedy match would make me a very happy Raw viewer. I'm probably the only one that it would make happy . . . but sometimes you have to be a little selfish.

Dan: Thank you to everyone who sent in their ideas this week, that was one huge edition of the Payload. But we're not done yet. Here are our own ideas! OK, this is what I would do;

To Raw

Paul London and Brian Kendrick – Hell, if WWE states that tag teams can't be split then this is a great pick. Their style will inject some good workrate into the tag scene on Raw and will be a nice change of pace from most of the other wrestling on the show.

Chris Benoit – Everyone seems to be calling for this, and it just makes so much sense. Benoit can be a tremendous mid carder on the Red Brand and easily be transferable into the top tier. A heel turn would be a nice plan for Benoit and he could have promising feuds with Cena, Michaels and others.

The Miz – Why not? He's been impressing on SmackDown for the past several months and I think he has the kind of annoying charisma that fits nicely on Raw. After a few more months of solid matches, I'd have no problem with Miz being the Intercontinental Champion.

Tommy Dreamer – Essentially a jobber, but could be useful to put over some newcomers and make others look good. They might as well take the Originals off of ECW as that ship has already sailed.

Batista – Turn him heel. Simple.

To SmackDown

Johnny Nitro and Kenny Dykstra – A tag team that can replace London and Kendrick. They'll have great matches with anyone on SmackDown and either can be pushed up the card at any time on SmackDown.

The Major Brothers – Filling out the tag team ranks. I'd like to see SmackDown become the key tag team show and these guys will provide a nice underdog team and maybe even a surprise title run would work.

Jeff Hardy – Can either team with brother Matt or challenge for the United States Championship.

CM Punk – Everyone else has really covered this one.

Ric Flair - Snap

To ECW

Rey Mysterio – To feud with Lashley, Burke etc…

Super Crazy – Not just because he's an ECW Original, but because ECW needs some proper high flying wrestling. Hence the next picks…

Chavo Guerrero – Take the Cruiserweights to ECW where they might be able to do something worth watching.

Jamie Noble – You get the idea by now.

Mark Henry – A feud with Lashley might not be too bad.



Rob: All three brands get one Secret Pick that won't be revealed tonight, and will be kept secret until their respective GM's decide to reveal it to the world.

ECW
Ric Flair, Chris Benoit, William Regal, Dave Taylor, Chavo Guerrero, Matt Hardy, London & Kendrick

Raw
The Undertaker, King Booker, Mr. Kennedy, Finlay, Tommy Dreamer, Balls Mahoney, The Boogeyman

Smackdown
HBK, Marcus Cor Von, Little Guido, Matt Striker, Super Crazy, World's Greatest Tag Team

That week on ECW On Sci-Fi the Secret Pick is revealed to be the first GM of ECW…JBL.
The following week on Raw their Secret Pick is revealed as CM Punk.
And at Vengeance after Edge defeats Batista yet again, Smackdown's Secret Pick reveals himself as Triple H.

Ryan: With three brands involved in this year's draft, the shows need to be limited to three selections each. If you have much more than that, concept will get old by the end of a three hour Raw, which will lead to a ridiculously boring show. If for some reason more than three people need to leave a particular brand, it can be done through trades announced on WWE.com. Also, the selections should be random. That's random in storyline terms, not actually random. The only reason to have GMs make selections is to get the GMs over as smart characters, and that's not a big concern when you only have one true general manager left. (And hopefully that number will be reduced to zero in the near future.) With all of that background, these would be my three picks for each brand:

RAW:

1.) Batista – As previously mentioned, Batista has recently suffered a string of losses to Edge, and a change of scenery is necessary in order to freshen him up and remind fans that he's a star. Plus you need to move a couple of main eventers in each draft so that the concept is seen as a big deal, and Batista is a "safe" main eventer to move since his changing shows doesn't negatively impact any of the major angles that are likely to be happening for the rest of the year.

2.) Chris Benoit – He's the midcard version of Batista in that he has also recently suffered a good deal of losses and could be freshened up by a jump. Heel Benoit against John Cena in a one or two month program could produce Cena's best matches yet and teach the champ a lesson or two.

3.) Jillian Hall – It's no secret that the Women's Title Division has been in need of some fresh faces lately. They do have talented women in developmental that they could call up, but for some reason that hasn't been happening. If it's not going to, they should bring Jillian over. Unlike the rest of the Smackdown women, she IS a trained wrestler, and a damn good one at that.

SMACKDOWN:

1.) Ric Flair – SD needs a top level name to fill the gap until Ken Kennedy and The Undertaker are ready to come back and feud with Edge. Though he is getting on in years, Flair still has that ability and is the only thing close to a healthy top babyface who can move to the CW and start working immediately.

2.) Elijah Burke – Really, I don't think that any of the ECW guys are talented enough at this point to be on Raw or SD. However, somebody needs to leave that show so that they get affected in some way by the draft. Burke is the best of the lot in terms of being attuned to WWE style (yes, moreso than Punk), so he's the one that it makes the most sense to move.

3.) Johnny Nitro – Nitro was probably the single most improved wrestler of 2006, and I'm bothered that he appears to have been lost in the shuffle on Raw. Hopefully moving him to SD would give him the opportunity to return to the upper midcard.

ECW

1.) The Great Khali – The fact of the matter is that ECW is not and should not be a focal point of the company, so you don't want to put anybody there who has much of a future. Khali would be a major move just due to his size, but the loss wouldn't be something unbearable to Raw. Plus he would make a decent challenger to Lashley's ECW Title.

2.) Fit Finlay – As noted earlier, there are a LOT of green wrestlers on ECW, and Finlay has proven to be a great teacher in the past (and I don't mean that in the Matt Striker sense). He could teach a lot of important lessons to a lot of young guys on ECW.

3.) Super Crazy – Like I said, nobody important should be moved to ECW. Crazy's somebody who doesn't have much value in the big picture sense but could help ECW by doing fun matches on their undercard.


Rob: Well that, my friends, brings us to the end of the Two Part Draft Lottery Madness. As you can see, all my booking predictions and suggestions of big names crossing and shocking events happening…came nowhere near happening last Monday. Everyone else was much closer with their mid-card suggestions.

This Week's Homework: Vince McMahon is dead! Oh No! But who did it? How? Why? And how will this lead to a damn match? Book the conclusion and payoff to Vince's death, whether it comes to a head at Summerslam or not until next year, whether the culprit is Shane, Steph or Trump, get booking!

Send all suggestions to [e-mail] ….or, y'know…click the link just below this.