The Wrestling News Experience: 06.25.07
Posted by Stephen Randle on 06.25.2007
I didn't think it was possible for Vince to get more TV time dead than when he was alive, but here we are.
Good morning everyone, and welcome to the Experience. I am Stephen Randle, burned out on work but ready for Karazhan. If you don't know what that means, don't worry, it's not important. If you do know what that means, welcome, nerd. Anyway, it's been a hectic week here at the Experience, what with FBI investigations, planning for next semester's classes, and having my housing plans for the fall disappear in a flash. Ah well, at least I have you, my readers.
And of course, all the wrestling news you can shake a stick at. And by stick I mean baseball bat. And by shake, I mean "beat the WWE Creative team severely with". Speaking of which, let's take a look at Vengeance: Night of Champions.
Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch defeated The Hardys to retain the World Tag Team titles
Standard Hardy formula tag match. Hopefully we'll see some good Kendrick/London vs Rednecks for the next while, so the Hardys can…um…
Chavo Guerrero defeated Jimmy Wang Yang to retain the Cruiserweight title
I'm not sure why they're not pulling the trigger on a Yang title run, since Chavo's done nothing with the belt.
Johnny Nitro defeated CM Punk to win the vacant ECW title
Um…okay. Never would have seen that coming. Benoit had to rush home for a family emergency, so Nitro was his replacement. And since Nitro is the only other possible choice for ECW champion (I guess), here we are. I just have to wonder who Punk pissed off. I mean, I'm okay with him losing to Benoit, it's Benoit, but Johnny Nitro?
Plus, we also lost the chance of a classic Punk-Benoit match that probably sold a lot of buys. Vince is laughing at you all from whatever hidden bunker he's in.
Santino Marella defeated Umaga by disqualification to retain the Intercontinental title
Well, a lot of people predicted it, and I'm going to rightly call this a BS match. If you have no faith in Marella to have a match, why put the second-biggest belt on Raw on him? And why keep jobbing Umaga?
MVP defeated Ric Flair to retain the United States title
Decent little match, Flair still shouldn't be wrestling any more. Shocking that he took the Playmaker.
Deuce and Domino defeated Sergeant Slaughter and "Superfly" Jimmy Snuka to retain the WWE Tag Team titles
About as good as a match between two green rookies and two out-of-shape, mostly retired senior citizens could be. Which is to say, not very.
Edge defeated Batista, first by disqualification, then by countout, to retain the World Heavyweight Championship
I can't believe they wussed out on the ending. So Batista gets a last chance match, then gets a second last chance when Teddy Long restarts the match after Edge gets himself DQ'd, and he still loses because he can't get back in the ring fast enough? Basically, I think they have no idea who Edge's next opponent is going to be, so they have to keep having Batista get screwed so they can keep the feud going.
Candice Michelle defeated Melina to win the Women's title
Hey, look, it's the first actual title change on the show. Nothing like reading "spinkick by Candice, kind of, for the win" in Larry's coverage. Have I mentioned I miss Trish Stratus?
John Cena pinned Mick Foley to win the WWE Championship Challenge and retain the WWE Heavyweight title
A ten minute match? That's all you get with five men, all former champions, all capable of good-to-great matches? Oh, you already know what my recommendation is going to be.
I'm not sure why everyone was picking Lashley to win in the Roundtable, but I stayed true to my beliefs and my knowledge of WWE booking, and look, it paid off again.
Overall, there's no way in hell I'm recommending this PPV. Short matches, bad matches, the loss of Benoit leading to a disappointing match, and inept booking that resulted in only the Women's title actually changing hands. So much for a Night of Champions.
Around The Horn
If you care about that sort of thing (and if you read this report, chances are you don't own all that much stock), WWE stock has fallen 8% since the television explosion of Vince McMahon's limo. I suppose that's another sign that we should fear the day that he really gives up the reins of the company, since not even stockholders have much faith in WWE post-Vince. Granted, some days I'm surprised there are people who still have stock in WWE. Maybe it's all in single shares owned by kids who got it as Christmas presents from grandma or something.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the fence, TNA Impact had its highest rating ever this past week. Impact pulled down a 1.2, which absolutely crushed its previous highest rating ever of…1.1. The CSI lead-in is being given partial credit for the ratings surge, because even though Spike has shown the same thirty episodes in a cycle ever since they started showing CSI, people are apparently still watching it.
John Cena has made it to the finale of Fast Cars and Superstars, a reality show that I haven't been watching because I have no idea when it's on, plus it seems to have run for approximately four episodes. But, I guess John can drive a NASCAR really well, and that's got to be worth something. I mean, look how well it worked out for Bob "Spark Plugg" Holly. Besides, they could do worse to get him over with the southern redneck demographic. That's right, I said it. Who wants to sit around watching cars go left for three and a half hours? Days of Thunder lied to me.
For those who were wondering, Scott Steiner has finally made it back to the United States after being unable to travel by air following his trachea surgery, via a cruise ship. There is no truth to the rumour that it was the Disney Cruise, or that Steiner may have choked out Mickey Mouse in front of screaming children. But isn't that a fun mental picture?
According to rumour, Johnny Ace is pushing for Dan Rodman, the former Dan Rodimer from the Million Dollar Tough Enough, to be called up to a regular television spot (he appeared on Heat a couple weeks back). Expect Rodman to show up any day now, be fairly green, but also big and muscular. There's a possibility he might have some sort of speech defect in lieu of any real bankable gimmick. Wait, that was Matt Morgan. You know, they held off on Brock Lesnar for like three years of further development when it was becoming obvious that he was going to be big. Why have they started rushing people out of OVW the minute they learn how to do more than a bodyslam?
Apparently Steve-O of Jackass is creating a show that will have Raw for a lead-in, which might explain the inexplicable Jackass involvement in SummerSlam. Because having Raw for a lead-in worked so well for The Mullets. Or maybe people should stop making crappy television shows. Oh, for a world where I decide what TV is actually good. There'd be no more American Idol, I can tell you that much.
And before I leave this segment, Vince McMahon will be receiving a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, because once Ryan Seacrest got a star, the idea that the whole thing had standards became laughable anyway.
Who's Holding Gold
I mean, seriously, you have to be kidding me, a PPV titled "Night of Champions", with every WWE title on the line, and we only had 1 actual title change (not counting the vacant title)? Hell, TNA had that many title changes on Impact alone.
WWE
WWE Champion: John Cena
- 282 day reign
- defeated Edge on September 16th, 2006 (Unforgiven PPV)
- TLC match stipulation
World Heavyweight Champion: Edge
- 44 day reign
- defeated The Undertaker on May 11th (Smackdown)
- Money in the Bank stipulation
**NEW** ECW World Champion: Johnny Nitro
- 1 day reign
- defeated CM Punk on June 24th (Vengeance PPV) to win the vacant title
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Santino Marella
- 70 day reign
- defeated Umaga on April 16th (Raw)
- No DQ stipulation
WWE United States Champion: MVP
- 36 day reign
- defeated Chris Benoit on May 20th (Judgment Day PPV)
- 2/3 Falls stipulation
World Tag Team Champions: Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch
- 21 day title reign
- defeated The Hardys on June 4th (Raw)
WWE Tag Team Champions: Deuce and Domino
- 66 day reign
- defeated London and Kendrick on April 20th (Smackdown)
WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Chavo Guerrero
- 127 day reign
- won Cruiserweight Open on February 18th (No Way Out PPV)
- Cruiserweight Open stipulation involving Jimmy Wang Yang, Funaki, Scotty 2 Hotty, Gregory Helms, Daivari, Shannon Moore, and Jamie Noble
**NEW** WWE Women's Champion: Candice Michelle
- 1 day reign
- defeated Melina on June 24th (Vengeance PPV)
TNA
TNA Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle
- 8 day reign
- won King of the Mountain match to claim the vacant title on June 17th (Slammiversary PPV)
- King of the Mountain stipulation involving Christian Cage, AJ Styles, Samoa Joe, and Chris Harris
- Next title defense: vs Christian Cage and Rhino, June 28th Impact, Triple Threat stipulation
TNA Tag Team Champions: Team 3-D
- 64 day reign
- defeated LAX on April 15th (Lockdown PPV)
- Electrified Cage stipulation
**NEW** TNA X-Division Champion: Samoa Joe
- 3 day reign
- defeated "Black Machismo" Jay Lethal on June 21st (Impact)
- Triple Threat stipulation involving Chris Sabin
- Next title defense: vs Team 3-D, Victory Road PPV, Match of Champions stipulation
The Injury Bug Bites
Inactive List as of 06.18.07
WWE
- Ashley, SD!, out indefinitely as of June 8 (kayfabe, suspension)
- Beth Phoenix, RAW, out indefinitely as of June 6 (jaw)
- Chris Jericho, out indefinitely (kayfabe, fired)
- Gregory Helms, SD!, out one year as of May 17th (neck surgery)
- Hardcore Holly, out 3-4 months as of April 3 (elbow surgery)
- Ken Kennedy, SD!, out 6-8 weeks as of May 8 (tricep)
- King Booker, out two months as of April 6 (knee surgery)
- Paul Burchill, SD!, out indefinitely as of May 29 (shoulder)
- Rene Dupree, ECW, out indefinitely as of March 2007 (Wellness)
- Rey Mysterio, SD!, out indefinitely as of October 2006 (knee surgery)
- Shawn Michaels, out indefinitely as of May 15th (knee surgery)
- Super Crazy, RAW, out indefinitely as of April 21 (torn MCL)
- Triple H, RAW, out 4-6 months as of January 7 (torn quadriceps)
- The Undertaker, SD!, expected to miss 6-8 months starting May 9 (bicep)
- Vince McMahon, WWE, out indefinitely (kayfabe, "presumed dead")
TNA
- Austin Starr, TNA, out 90 days as of April 18 (suspension)
- Scott Steiner, TNA, out indefinitely as of June 5 (trachea surgery)
Transactions
- King Booker, RAW, returned to action June 18th
I still maintain that Raw is totally the wrong show for the King Booker gimmick, but maybe they'll make it less goofy and de-emphasize the whole "thinks he's a medieval king" part. Not that it wasn't great TV before, but it seems wrong on Raw for some reason. Hey, I'm illogical, okay?
- Konnan, TNA, released from his contract
Apparently the writing for this has been on the wall, as Konnan looks to get back to running his lucha promotion, and has had some backstage issues with TNA since his kidney surgery. He had already been mostly toned down in LAX segments anyway, so it hopefully won't hurt the team too much.
- Ron Killings, TNA, requested release from his contract
Though apparently not yet actually released, he might as well be. I think Killings has suffered from ping-ponging up and down the card, from TNA champion to 3LK to "oh yeah, he used to be a TNA champion" to weird movie poster promos to celebrity match jobs against Frank Wycheck. Wonder if he'll keep doing YouTube videos against Cena now that he doesn't have a job?
- Trinity, ECW, released from her contract
Well, when you're a valet for an ECW jobber, how secure is your job really going to be? It's kind of a shame that she never got a real shot, because I understand she can actually wrestle.
One Year Ago This Experience
Originally posted 06.26.06, and the Leafs traded for Andrew Raycroft. One year later, the Leafs traded for another goalie because Raycroft was good enough to lead them to the same non-playoff finish as the year before.
In wrestling, however, Vengeance sucked. Hey, some things don't change. More importantly…er…interestingly…er…well, more something, the Fake Kane made his PPV debut, beating Kane in a match. The next night (I believe, could have been two weeks later), Kane beat up the Fake Kane and threw him out of the arena, from where he never returned. Maybe all the doors were locked from the inside. The angle was dropped and never mentioned again.
Which reminds me, I forgot to tell everyone a few weeks ago that I purchase the Royal Rumble Anthology, and now I own every single one of my favourite PPV. Which leads me to a survey of sorts: how many of you would like me to review every Royal Rumble? It's been a while since I dusted off my recapping hat, and I seem to have the urge. If there are no real strenuous objections, I may get right on it as early as…er…a couple weeks from now. Mainly, I plan to review the Rumble matches themselves, as when I looked at the undercards for every Rumble, I have to say, for the most part, they suck. But, for my readers, I may press on and do entire cards, just for you. Don't you feel special?
And One To Go On
411 will have live coverage of the special 3 hour Raw tonight starting at 8 pm EDT, (as a reminder, the show still starts at 9 pm in Canada, on tape delay), as we remember a greatgooddecent not completely evil man, Vincent Kennedy McMahon. You know, do they normally still presume someone's dead without a corpse (or, you know, any parts) being found after three weeks?
That's our show, before we go, for those of you who voted for Dancing Finlay over Dancing Brock, shame on you all. Larry's in tomorrow, I'll be back with a special "day after Canada Day" edition of the Experience.
