The Top Ten 7.3.07: A Moment Of Commentary on The Benoit Tragedy
Posted by Julian Williams on 07.03.2007
No list this week, but instead a look at one of the more tragic stories of this generation and how it affected this particular wrestling fan.
This past week has been the hardest week ever for me to be a wrestling fan. I've been a fan since I was four years old and would stay up late with my dad to watch Saturday Night Main Event and even though he is gone, I still watch it to this day for entertainment and as a way to fondly remember my dad. I've been with wrestling through all the good times and the bad times and I never once thought about giving up my love for wrestling.
That was until last week.
I came home after a long day of work last Monday, eager to start my column since I had slacked off the week before and I didn't want you guys to forget all about me. I tried to log onto 411, but I couldn't get connected so I figured I'd go to WWE.com to see if I could find out more about what was going to happen on the 3-hour Raw. What I saw on the home page instantly made me sick and retreat from my computer as quickly as possible. The headline read "Benoit Found Dead" and my heart just couldn't take it. I walked aimlessly around my house for about 30 minutes, muttering to myself and on the verge of tears that another one of my favorite wrestlers was gone. It had only been a year and a half since the death of Eddie and only a little over a week since the death of one of my favorite managers of all-time, Sensational Sherri. After I collected myself somewhat, I went back to the computer to try to find out more details. It was then that I learned that not only was Benoit dead, but so was his son, Daniel, and his wife, Nancy aka Woman. This sent me into an even deeper depression than the one I was in before because now not only was one of my favorite performers dead, but so was his wife and child. I could barely watch the Tribute Show because I couldn't believe that all three of them were gone and I wondered what kind of sick, depraved son-of-a-bitch could commit such a horrific act of taking three peoples lives.
Little did I know that the son-of-a-bitch was the man I was mourning.
There are only a few people in the wrestling business that I genuinely respect. Ric Flair is one of them. Mick Foley is another. Eddie Guerrero was a third. And the final one was Chris Benoit. I respected Benoit because he didn't have the size or the mic skills to be a top-tier star. Yet, the man busted his ass and provided so many excellent matches that he would always get over with the fans. Anytime I went to a wrestling show, one of the men to get the biggest pops would be Benoit. He didn't have to say a word. He would go in the ring, kick some ass and leave to a roaring ovation whether he won or lost. I got my girlfriend into wrestling and her favorite wrestler was Chris Benoit. Think about that, in a sport with guys like John Cena, Batista and Randy Orton (who girls normally go ga-ga over), my girl was into Benoit. When I asked her why, she said it was because Benoit didn't talk shit, he just whipped your ass. She is as casual a fan as there is so for her to recognize that, you know how great a performer Benoit was. Anytime I saw a Benoit match, I knew I would be entertained. Benoit wasn't afraid to get punched right in the mouth or punch somebody right in the mouth. His matches were always physical and always intense. He always gave 100% in the ring and I loved him for that. With that said, if Benoit was of sane mind when he killed his wife and child and then himself, then there is only one I can say about him.
Fuck Chris Benoit.
It pains me to say that about a man I had such overwhelming respect for, but I cannot support or condone a man that kills his own child. I've read different columns and posts with people actually trying to defend Benoit and saying they still respect him. I'm sorry, but I don't respect murderers. Especially child murderers. There is no excuse for killing a defenseless woman and child. It seems that Benoit wasn't in his right mind when he committed these horrible acts and I hope that is the case. I would hate to know that Benoit planned out the murder of his wife and child and his own suicide. But even if it is revealed that Benoit was out of his mind, he still cannot be excused for his actions. I've seen people compare him to a drug addict and say that if he was trying to quit GHB or any other drug, he could have gone delusional and paranoid and taken it out on his family. If Benoit was having trouble dealing with withdrawal from his addictions, he should have seeked professional help. I don't think any of us would have looked down on Benoit if it was revealed that he needed to see a shrink or go to drug counseling sessions. In fact, that would have been commendable because he would have acknowledged he had a problem and sought out the necessary help to make himself better. But being the private man that he was, Benoit tried to deal with it himself and that may have led to him killing the ones closest to him and destroying his legacy. I'm a very private person myself and the only people who really know about my fears and insecurities are my mom and my girl. But if I ever had an addiction that I was trying to quit and I was having a tough time coping with it, I would seek help to ensure that I got better and didn't endanger the people I love.
Last Tuesday was the first time I can ever remember where I willingly missed a wrestling show. I sat home on Tuesday and I just couldn't bring myself to turning to the Sci-Fi channel. Not after learning that one of my favorite wrestlers of all-time was a murderer. It was then that I realized that I might be done with wrestling. There have been so many wrestler deaths over the last few years and this was seemingly the straw that broke this camel's back. This wasn't like the deaths of Pillman, Bulldog, Owen, Perfect or Eddie where I miss them dearly, but at least I can look back at their body of work and smile. In Benoit's case, I knew I wouldn't be able to look back on him fondly. I knew that anytime I saw a flying headbutt, a german suplex, or a wicked backhand chop, I would think of Benoit. I didn't know if I could take the all the pain and tragedy that being a wrestling fan seems to incur. So I was ready to give it up. I started packing all my DVD's and tapes and I removed wrestling from my DVR list. I was ready to email Larry and tell him that I couldn't do this column anymore. I really thought that this was the end of my 23-year obsession with pro wrestling. But then I spoke to a friend who reminded me that the wrestling industry needs the fans now more than ever. The mainstream media is always looking for any excuse to crap all over pro wrestling and this tragedy just gave them all the ammo they needed. They are going to try to crucify and vilify pro wrestling and without the support of the fans, it could be just like the mid 90's all over again where the wrestling biz was at an all-time low before the Monday Night Wars. I also read a ton of columns here on 411 and on other wrestling sites that showed other fans like myself dealing with the pain of being let down by one of their heroes, but realizing that one man's actions should not destroy our passion for the sport we love. So Benoit's actions aren't going to make me give up wrestling. I enjoy it far too much. It has always been there for me. Whenever I have had horrible days, wrestling has always been there to make me feel better. I can't turn my back on it now.
I feel selfish. A man and his wife and child are dead. Their families are going to have to deal with this tragedy for the rest of their lives. Meanwhile, I'm thinking about all the things I can no longer enjoy due to this tragedy. I don't think I'll ever be able to watch a Benoit match again. Anytime I watch it, I won't be able to enjoy it because I'll just be thinking of Benoit as a murderer. This saddens me a great deal because Benoit is involved in some of my favorite matches of all-time. Benoit/Angle at Royal Rumble '03. Benoit/Finlay at Judgment Day '06. The 2004 Royal Rumble. Benoit/Sullivan at GAB '96. TLC 3. Benoit/Jericho at Royal Rumble '01. And my favorite match of all-time, Benoit/HHH/HBK at Wrestlemania 20. One of my favorite wrestling moments, Benoit and Guerrero hugging in the ring to conclude WM20, has been tarnished forever. But that's nothing compared to the hell that Chris and Nancy's families must be suffering through. I still have thousands of other wrestling matches and moments not involving Benoit that I can enjoy. They only had one daughter, one son, one brother, one sister, one mother, one father. So really, my problems are miniscule compared to theirs.
I wish Benoit had died before he reached that house on Friday. That might sound morbid, but at least then Nancy and Daniel would still be alive and Chris Benoit would still be respected and remembered as one of the greatest wrestlers ever. Instead, he's going to be remembered as nothing more than a murderer and his fantastic 22-year career will be erased and forgotten. That saddens me because Benoit was a first ballot Hall Of Famer that would have been cherished by future generations just how Steamboat and Dynamite Kid are revered by this generation. Instead, his legacy is tarnished forever. I keep wishing that this is all a very bad dream and I'm going to wake up and Benoit is still alive, he's not a murderer, and I can pop in his DVD and enjoy his great career. I want to believe that there is some great big conspiracy theory and that Benoit was framed because I just can't imagine Benoit doing this to his wife and child. But as the facts pile in, it's evident that Benoit really did do it and there is no way I can possibly defend him.
If there is one thing that this tragedy can teach us, it's that nobody can escape the dangers of stress and addiction. Chris Benoit, by all accounts, was a nice guy who loved his family more than anything else. Yet he killed his wife and child. It just shows dangerous stress and addiction can be. So if you feel that the strains of the world are getting to be too much or you have an addiction that is out of control and you want to stop, please seek some help. If an all around well-respected and revered man like Chris Benoit can go over the deep end, any of us can. Love your families, but more importantly love yourself.
The Sign-Off
Sorry guys, but I just had to get that off of my chest. We will return to our regularly scheduled program next week with the topic being The Top Ten Wrestler Acquisitions (only like three weeks late). Until then, go wash your ass!
