Truth B Told 7.05.07: Character Witness
Posted by Bayani Domingo on 07.05.2007
We all go through changes from time to time, so why is it some wrestlers don’t? A look at the dying art of character development. Oh and Happy (Belated) B-Day to ME!!
I don't care who won the "Beat the Clock" contest on Monday night RAW, it was clearly King Booker's night. The man owned RAW, every segment he was in, the way he corrected everyone who forget to refer to his "royal lineage", the look on his face when Shelton kissed his ring. Brilliant, absolutely brilliant. The change in his character from Booker T to King Booker has just been a source of constant entertainment in the past year. At the same time we opened the show with perhaps one of John Cena's worst promos in months, maybe this year. Seriously, "Mr. Camel Toe"?? you can do better than that Jonathon. Even Bobby Lashley got a slightly new twist on his character from ‘bland babyface' to ‘title hungry ‘tweener', it was refreshing and if they keep on course he may become a much more compelling character. Mr. Kennedy and Randy Orton…um…they uh….yeah, so how shitty was that John Cena promo? Mr. Blahblahblah…..blahblahblah…retarded.
One of my biggest pet peeves is the WWE's inability to develop a wrestler's character and personality. Which is odd because they used to do a damn good job. Guys like HBK, HHH, Kurt Angle, The Rock, Steve Austin, Mick Foley, all have gone through multiple personality changes and managed to stay not only successful but endearing to their fans while pulling in new fans. Sure you have your Undertakers and Kane's who could basically keep the same character forever and manage to do alright, but then we also remember how well "Biker ‘Taker" did as well as Big Show's "Show-ster/Show-kishi, etc" phase as well. Still the WWE somewhere along the way just forgot how to advance a character. John Cena went from Heel Dr. of Thuganomics to bland babyface Marine wanna be and hasn't changed since. Mr. Kennedy has gone from Jericho/Rock rip off to…well, nowhere, unless you consider jobbing to Super Crazy a character development. Ask Chris Masters how well that went over for him. There seems to be a difficulty for the writers to do slight subtle turns for wrestlers, I mean Umaga used to be a hip hop mercenary and how he forgot how to speak English. Where did it all go wrong and how can we right the ship?
When I Look at ECW I see a wealth of opportunities to finally start developing some of the wrestlers it appears that the WWE is committed to pushing in the near future. Guys like CM Punk, Elijah Burke, and Marcus CorVon have an entire hour to work with as the roster is so thin that there seems to be an overabundance of time to dedicate towards developing the personalities and gimmicks of those wrestlers. But so far we have hit a snag. While the "New Breed" was a great stepping stone to establish Elijah Burke as the leader and mouthpiece of the group, since the apparent dissolution or phasing out of the stable Burke has been stuck in limbo and has managed to job his way back down to the mid-card after straight losses to Benoit and Punk. So what does that leave him now? CorVon never got much of a chance to establish his character as the "Alpha Male" may have been a familiar character with TNA fans, in the WWE he's merely a jacked up Black dude who ISN'T Bobby Lashley. Matt Striker and Kevin Thorn don't seem to be doing much better either and then…there is Punk.
CM Punk apparently is straight edge. His only addiction is competition. He also…um…was intrigued by the Boogeyman being drafted to ECW and…he…um….no, that's about it. The man who is supposedly being groomed as one of the top two stars of ECW has no other development. Remember his time in RoH and his epic feuds with Raven, Samoa Joe, and his quest to leave RoH for the greener pastures of the "e" with the belt around his waist? Well forget about it. That was a long time ago. For as much time as they have to develop his character, to delve into the nuisances and personality traits that could make him a more endearing and interesting character, they just choose to let him steal a few of KENTA's moves instead. To be fair, it appears that they don't want to turn Punk heel any time soon and Punk is at his best as a heel. Still, even as a face it seems like he's been on a treadmill, never impressing or disappointing. Still, a wasted opportunity on a show that has nothing better to do with their hour of TV.
When you look at some of the young guys like Johnny Nitro, Kenny Dykstra, Randy Orton, Carlito, Chris Masters, London and Kendrick, and many others you can't help but notice how stale some of their characters have become. For guys like Finlay, Rey Mysterio, William Regal, and Ric Flair who have been well established it is not as much of a problem, but for young guys who still haven't cemented themselves as "Main Event" level guys or managed to maintain that status of "overness" it is a serious issue. Then again there are some gimmicks that are created with built in limitations, Great Khali, Umaga, Eugene, Boogeyman and the Highlanders are good examples. These are guys who would either have to be released or taken off TV for a long period of time and repackaged to ever evolve. That's not to say they haven't had success in the past.
Edge and Batista are two prime examples of wrestlers who they managed to develop throughout their careers. While Batista is in need of another twist they managed to turn him from a near Mike Knox-esque generic hoss to a legit World Champion. Snitsky went from abortionist to comedy heel, to comedy face, to…well whatever he is now. HBK manages to freshen up his image every once and again even if he doesn't manage a complete "heel turn". The WWE does have it's successes, but for some reason they fail to be able to write compelling scripts and dialogue for guys who need it most. Young mid-card talent with the drive to break from the pack. Then again, I can't be too critical of the WWE I guess since it happens everywhere.
Christian Cage, Tomko, AJ Styles, Christopher Daniels, Sonjay Dutt, Abyss, Jay Lethal, Robert Roode, Alex Shelley, and Chris Sabin, all of them have made some manner of modifications to their characters recently. Of course with varying degrees of success. Still there are wrestlers like Kurt Angle, Samoa Joe, and Rhyno are in dire need of further development. Kurt Angle's constant twists and turn make it hard to even understand what his baseline character is in TNA, let alone figure out when it is being evolved. For as much criticism as the bookers have gotten for not giving Joe the belt, it is clear that they don't even know what to do with him as his growth as a performer AND character has suffered due to their inability to book him effectively. I'm not even going to get into VKM and Seratonin.
Likewise RoH has managed to somehow botch Chris Hero's participation as he went from a King of Wrestling to a member of the "Sweet n' Sour Dungeon of Doom". Claudio, Nigel, Morishima, KENTA, Marifuji, a host of top notch wrestlers are basically going through the motions as they continue to perform well in the ring, but without some semblance of character development or personality it makes it difficult to get behind them. It's not as if when Punk, Colt, Homicide, and the Prophecy left town the whole company had to eschew personality for performance, but for some reason that seems to have happened. If there was ever a time to take the next step with Nigel McGuiness the time is now. For as much that has been said for RoH being the "Best Fed in the Industry" I still find the storylines and angles rather uninteresting. I know, color me surprised but even I need some story with my wrasslin'.
When it comes down to it I look at the WWE as the "guiding light" of chracters and gimmicks throughout the industry. This is because they are used to it and has been doing so for years. Then again, its also easy to remember that if it wasn't for his time in WCW Hulk Hogan would still be the same "Take your vitamins and say your prayers" mega babyface for the 3rd decade in a row. With the "Attitude Era" came these "subtle shades of grey", in the new "Cena's the Center of the Universe Era" they sorely need some of those subtleties again, especially considering how much they keep trying to recreate that bygone era. It might just be me and I might be the only one screaming for a little shake up from time to time, but something tells me there might just be someone else out there saying to themselves, "Mr. Camel Toe?? Are you shitting me?".
The Truth
It's a pet peeve of mine, what can I say? But I just want a better reason to root for a guy than he has a cool finisher, or he makes fun of his opponent by alluding to his homosexuality. If you expect me to take these guys seriously then at least give me a reason to care. Otherwise we end up with the same song and dance every week, the same promo, and the same show with only slightly different matches. Wrestling is one of the two relationships that I just can't stand getting stale and predictable, but unlike the other one, I can't just ask Cena to play the "naughty catholic school girl" just for one night.
Coming Up Short
I wanted to watch the RoH PPV on Sunday. I had plans to get some peeps together and order it at my pad as a sort of early B-day get together. That didn't happen. My cable provider didn't offer the PPV until the 20th. Plan B was to go to a buddy's house, only no one else had the cable provider that had it available for Sunday except one guy with a satellite dish that was out of town. There was always "National's Sports Bar" in Orange County. Only they charge $10 a person to watch…wasn't the PPV like $10? How did that make sense? So I passed. Which lead me to believe that RoH got one raw deal in securing the PPV rights. Its like a weird inverse "rolling blackout" where each week a new segment of the country gets to watch the PPV, which by the time I see it will be so old and irrelevant there is really no need to watch it. Why? Anything that happened is already common knowledge and no tittles changed hands. I don't know, it seems like a low risk low reward deal for RoH because it will take a month just to figure out how many buys they got out of the whole thing. Not worth my time, I could just wait another month for the DVD to come out and get the whole kit and caboodle. Oh well, a good idea in practice, but the whole appeal of a PPV is to see stuff live and find out results before anyone else. With a pre-taping it just seems to lost it's flair. Well I don't expect we'll have an idea about how successful these things are until the 3rd or 4th show since the first one will be a novelty and the second might hang on to some of the appeal, but how many RoH fans are going to want to wait two months to see these guys on your TV when it's really no different than merely popping in a DVD? I guess only time will tell, and my Sunday plans weren't the only thing that came up short.
6 Degrees of…
Greg Walden
What up B!
So, I'm a winner! That was a bright spot to last week... and two very fine pics were helpful as well. So I'll get to my choice here in a bit.
But, first, I want to thank all the writers here for their words over the last week. Whether you agree or disagree with them, it's their opinion and they were very well spoken. So, thanks to all. Yours were the first I read that actually hit on what I spent the first part of the week doing, asking myself how do I explain what I'm feeling to somebody who can't possible understand what he meant to you? That was one of the hardest things about the week, well, that and the shock, numbness, disbelief and whatever else I was feeling all week. But I think Victoria said it best from a bulletin on myspace, "Maybe someday I'll be able to forgive Chris, but not today."
Alrighty, on to better things.
So in my thinking of people to link in 6DO, I did alot of contemplating and finally came to a conclusion. I have this affinity for females of the Asian persuasion. And figure that maybe we can link one of the hottest Asian women in wrestling... Gail Kim. To one of my favorite Asian actresses, Ziyi Zhang. Come on, half of why I enjoy your column so much is the Random Asian Bitch Lookin' Good Pic of the Week and the occasional bonus pics.
No 6DO entry this week as my brain is fried from work, stupid people just drain everything out of me.
Peace,
Greg
I know Gail has been on 6DO before...but what the hell, it's Greg's win and my B-day...so now...everyone wins. Man...what I wouldn't give to be able to link these two...with my...um...nevermind. Shit, good thing my girl won't have internet access this week.
Whatchu talkin' bout readers?
It's been a tough two weeks hasn't it kids?
Hey B,
I was going threw some of you old articles and such. I found that the one article on May 31st in retrospective kind of eerie. The way you say that we have personal investment in the wrestlers lives. Nothing truer this week with Chris Benoit. I have been watching wrestling for nearly ten years and now that we learned what happen with Benoit, I felt sick. I don't know why I felt like this, I mean its not like I ever even met the guy. Benoit
was one my favorite wrestlers of all-time and now I feel like some of my memories were tainted because of this situation. I remember being all excited when I heard Benoit was finally going to get his shot at Wrestlemaina XX. Now I will never be able to see another match of his without thinking of what he did. Just like you said, "Good people who end
up doing bad things."
-Marco
It sucks when a bit of reality mixes in with our fantasy. I think this is a bump in the road when it comes to our faith and admiration of pro wrestlers, but this too shall come to pass.
"How many of you have ever run into a wrestler at a mall, or restaurant, or airport and had a 20 second conversation that you will be retelling your friends even 10 years from now? It's a rush isn't it? To get a chance to talk to someone you admire or cheer for, to get a chance to have a conversation, get a quick "great job out there", or a chance meeting? It what makes you come away from that experience and increases your support for that worker 10 fold. It's what turns you from semi-indifference to unwavering devotion. "
mine was benoit himself. after a raw in raleigh (right when the matt hardy/edge/lita news came out), all the wrestlers went to the hooters up the road from me for food and drinks. with most of the guys, i just asked for an autograph, thanked them, told them i was a fan, but with benoit, I got to tell him that my Wrestlemania moment was him and eddie standing victorious at the end of WM 20, champions. He was grinning ear to ear when I said that. I'll never forget it.
Manu Bumb
Wow, that's pretty chilling. People don't realize how ingrained these guys become in our lives and when you hear a Nancy Grace, Larry King, or your local news reporter talk about this so matter-of-factly and damning the entire wrestling profession as a result, it stings. I just hope my 1st great wrestling moment doesn't end up with me saying, "had I known then what I know now". Thanks for sharing Manu.
This next e-mail was sent to a plethora of writers, but it has a good point afterall.
no offense guys but Columists lately well some of them have really pissed me off. one guy claimed and I quote: "Benoit and other pro wrestlers aren't Athletes, their just actors trying to get bigger for a part" i'd love to see Lebron James or Barry Bonds or Terrell Owens go out and play Basketball,Baseball or Football 300 nights out of the year, sometimes 4-nights a week. I know I know, Wrestling is choreographed but look at it this way, Wrestlers don't have the time off cushion that the other sports give their players. I mean do you really think Lebron James or Terrell Owens could handle playing their sport that often for the length of time that guys like Jeff Jarrett or the Undertaker have? I know their's no way in hell Barry Bonds could. but indeed Pro Wrestling isn't a sport as Mike Wilbon on ESPN's Pardon The Interruption put it,but the men who bust their asses day in and day out to feed their families are indeed athletes. and yes alot of wrestlers have admitted or have been accused to use of steroids, but let's go over that list, EDGE a man who like Kurt Angle and Stone Cold Steve Austin & Chris Benoit has had Fusion Neck Surgery or other types of Surgery done on their neck & back. now I know some wrestlers use steroids and obviously so, guys like Batista & Chris Masters, who just look or looked too unnaturally big. I've wrestled back and forth with my decision as to whether or not I'd continue to support the business and I will continue to do so. but it'd be hard, I mean guys like Owen & Curt Henning & Eddy who passed away early are some pretty tragic deaths but none of them have been like this. and I think it's patheic that the media has become so callous that it can't acknowledge the deaths of Owen Hart or Curt Henning or Eddie Guerrero or Crash Holly but it takes someone murdering their family and themselves just to get them to finally talk about the hazards of Professional wrestling and no I don't mean the steroids, I mean WWE's impossibly lengthy schedule, or the lack of cushion Indy Wrestlers & Mainstream Wrestlers have to rest their injuries, I mean Samoa Joe is working with a bad knee & back because he can't afford to take time off to rest and he's one of their main event guys, what about guys like Sonjay Dutt or Petey Williams who are in the X-division or on the undercard? Steroids shouldn't be the focus, it's the lack of time wrestlers have to heal up.
John Bryant Bateman.
There are two issues here to address. #1 is that pro wrestling often can't afford financially to take the time off because Indy/TNA wrestlers don't have the kind of deals the WWE wrestlers have and work paycheck to paycheck in many cases. The other is the fear that you will be released while you're injured unless you're already a major star. #2. is the fact that this tragedy also was the result of some mental issues. Something that no one takes into consideration with pro wrestling. While an Alex Rodriguez or Peyton Manning may have the time, resources, and support to seek a sports psychologist or regular psychologist, many wrestlers can't. Stress, expectations, and uneven home lives can lead to a lot of issues and up until now, we've been conscious of a wrestler's fragile physical health, but never really considered their mental health. Maybe now we should. Maybe "Wellness" should include a healthy body AND mind.
Bryan Mattingly feels the pain too:
All I can say is "WOW"! Your article on Chris Benoit was one of the best articles I have ever read. You were able to put into words everything Ive been trying to grapple with these past few days. Im a husband and a father, and this crime has touched me deeply. I cannot phathom how this man could do such a thing. This man that I have
followewd since I first saw him WCW in the early 90's take on 2 cold scorpio. The man who is my size, 5 foot 10, "hey, this guy is no bigger than me, and hes kicking some serious ass!" 15 years Ive watched this guy, and he let me down in a way that troubles me at my core. But I cannot get myself to throw out my "Hard knocks" dvd, or anything I own with footage of him. I want to dispise this man, but I cant. I know what he did is wrong, but part of me still thinks about the mental anguish he was going through after he killed his wife, knowing he would never be able to care for his son, that his son would never see his mother again. I mean. . . just why god damnit? Why?
It all boils down to "closure", we'll probably never get it. We'll never know what the man was thinking and can only try to make our own judgments based on what other people assess the situation to be because they are "experts" and we're not. But I know how I feel, conflicted, no one can tell me I need to feel any other way than that. we'll never know "why", but maybe we can figure out how we can stop this from going this far again.
Sir...I have been reading with earnest everyone's take on the Benoit tragedy. Some opinions I agree with, some I don't, and that's fine. However, I'm getting more and more irritated at the allegations that it was steroids that was the cause. 'Roid rage, if you will. Although steroids may have played a part, there is no way on earth that it could have been the only part. There are so many pieces to this puzzle, many of which we will never, ever know.
In my humble opinion, I think the biggest puzzle piece is the wrestling lifestyle. Over the past 15 years or so, wrestling has grown and grown into the multi-million dollar industry we see today. As wrestling as grown, the demands on the every day wrestler has also grown. More house shows, more pay-per-views, more travel, more chair shots and table bumps, more injuries. It is said that some wrestlers are on the road close to 300 days of the year. That's NUTS! And has anything been done to help them out? Nope. A wrestler needs to be put on the shelf with an injury in order to get a break. Sure, there is "vacation", but at what cost? A wrestler leaves the scene for a much needed break, and someone else is brought in to fill their spot, perhaps take it over. The wrestler taking the break more often than not has to work back into the mix upon returning. Not very fair.
Over the years, I have been arguing with my buddies who watch wrestling with me that something needs to be done to ease the wrestling lifestyle. More time is needed to be given to wrestlers for vacation and breaks, to heal nagging injuries so they don't have to be reliant on painkillers to get through. I have thought up the following two different scenarios:
1) Everyone in the WWE take 2 months off following Wrestlemania. In essence, shut down the WWE for 2 months. Wrestlemania is the culmination of a year's worth of wrestling....stories end, new title reigns begin. The next major ppv is not until the end of August, almost 5 months away. What perfect time is there for everyone to stop wrestling for a while, take a step back and heal? All storylines can easily continue when wrestling returns. And a true wrestling fan would be sitting on pins and needles during these two months, waiting to see what happens when wrestling returns. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, no?
OR
2) Cut the number of ppv's from, what, 14 to 8 (the 4 majors, plus 4 others), and have Raw and Smackdown/ECW alternate airing every other week, i.e. Raw airs in week 1, SD and ECW in week 2, Raw in week 3, etc. What this does is cut down both the number of shows and travel time for the wrestlers. And it wouldn't even be by a lot, but something is better than nothing.
Sure, in both scenarios, the WWE loses money. Profits will not be as high as it is now. But at least more wrestlers will have a better chance of living past their 45th birthday. And isn't that better than money?
I'm sure that neither of my scenarios are feasible. I'd be incredibly naive if I thought the WWE would actually go for it. However, I'd love to hear what you think.
…Oh, forgot to mention in my point about stopping wrestling for 2 months following Wrestlemania...Wrestling is the only "sport" without an off-season. Baseball, hockey, basketball, football, they all have off-seasons. Wrestling is technically 24/7. Consider those 2 months the off-season. And if anyone is concerned about holding on to fan interest during those 2 months, the WWE should do what every other sport does during their off-season...have a draft. Make trades, and have a draft. Every off-season brings a renewed hope to sporting teams from new signings and draft picks...why can't the same thing be done with wrestling?
Double C
Sounds great and all, but you already said it yourself, "the WWE loses money". That's the simple fact. Without competition Vince is basically monopolizing wrestling, at least until TNA can be taken seriously. The all mighty dollar is what drives the schedules and although I'd love to see it happen, there just will never be an official across the board, "off season" for wrestling. The only feasible alternative I could see is a ‘rolling break' whereby each show would take a month off every 6 months and the other two shows would still run. Say RAW takes a month off and Smackdown airs on Monday, with ECW taking over Friday and maybe televising OVW of the Florida promotion on Weds. Then switch things around. Or at the least have certain wrestlers take a month off every 6 or so months. Just don't schedule it so no one knows when someone is going to leave or not and then write them back in. It's really only 1 PPV and 4 or so television shows they'd be missing and rotate people. At least it would freshen up things and give mid-carders a chance to shine for a bit and main event guys time to rest. It's a great concept you got there Dub-C but in the end, it's just a pipe dream.
I agree with you 100%, when I found out I felt that it was time for me to stop watching wrestling, it was as if I couldn't keep tuning in because another of my heroes had died. Then I realised that it would be wrong of me to stop watching something this man put his life towards building. One of the reasons I started enjoying Benoit as a young eight year old kid back in his WCW days was because I read an article in WCW magazine, about how he and Dean Malenko had taken some time before a show to go see a sick kid in hospital. This was before I cared about workrates, and I was a fan of the faces and hated the heels. But it just made me realise that Benoit was a nice guy. Then all this happened, and it's like a surreal dream. I now have to wonder how wrestling is going to go from this point. The cancellation of the Vince angle exposed kayfabe completely, and whilst it was the right decision at the time, the business has to do something to get back on track. Apparently Kenny Dykstra has made comments stating that the Vince angle is off for good. I do not genuinely believe this is the best way for the WWE to go. So here is how I'd write out the angle:
In an address from his office, Vince reveals that he escaped from the limo, as he knew beforehand somebody was out to kill him that night, he just doesn't know who. Vince comments that he intended to stay hidden until he knew exactly who was behind it, but other circumstances prevented this. Stephanie and Linda McMahon join him, relieved to hear that Vince is alive, however Shane bursts in and shouts at Vince for not telling his family sooner, Vince mentions he didn't want to put his family in danger, but Shane
continues to be angry, somewhat irrationally. It is then revealed that Shane, as the male heir, would have become Chairman, pointing suspicion firmly at him. Shane goes to leave the room, and Vince goes to follow him, but are stopped and stunned by green spraypaint on the wall, with the words "next time Vince", thus also pointing at DX being the culprits.
With one simple ten minute angle the storyline is back on and we have two (or three) suspects. The WWE could then run a series of events where Vince narrowly avoids death, culminating in the revelation of the WWE's original choice.
-Tom
You know originally I was going to take a dump all over this idea. I personally hated the "Vince gets blowed up" angle, but learned to accept it. I thought that canceling this angle would be the only bright spot from this whole horrible affair. But then I realized that #1. Vince probably wasn't going to totally let this angle just die off and #2. fans like Tom, and even I want some return to normalcy. Even if it means a ridiculous explanation for McMahon like how he was magically teleported out of the limo by Max Moon and secretly it was Kevin Sullivan who planned the whole thing. I don't know Tom, I too would welcome a return to normalcy, but…Kayfabe has been dead for some time now, I don't think with something like this, we can merely gloss it over and book around it. It is what it is. I'm sure Vince has to know that after this, the last thing we need is be reminded that 3 real deaths can be glossed over by one fake one. Still, I agree with Tom, a return to some semblance of Kayfabe would be nice, at least for the moment.
A special shout out to Ron M. with kind words and I hope that he returns to the fold to enjoy wrestling again. A lot of people had their faith and fandom shaken by the events that unfolded last week. but in the end, it's one man, it's one horrible incident and we'll all go on from here. We'll revel in the struggles and victories of a new champion and we'll vilify and wag our fingers at a new evil doer. For all the uncertain we now know exists, the one thing we can take solice in is that someone, somewhere is still going to be sweating in a dirty gym learning to run the ropes and take a bump so that one day they too will be remembered for what they did between the ropes. That's what I want to do right now…just keep it between the ropes.
A last second e-mail sneaks in just before submission:
'Sup. I've had a few thoughts regarding the possibility of Daniel Benoit recieving Human Growth Hormone injections. HGH has gotten a lot of attention lately with relevations of sports stars (Barry Bonds, for example) taking HGH as an undetectable alternative to steriods. The media has made it interchangable with steriods in many people's minds, the same way many Americans now believe Saddam Hussein was reponsible for 9/11.
The truth is, HGH injections can be very helpful to children who need a boost. I know this because I took HGH injections for 3 years, due to a condition called Hypothyroidism, which is an underperforming Pituitary Gland. The Pituitary Gland controls hormone production for your entire body, and kicks into high gear at puberty.
Those are the facts as I know them. I have a couple problems with the way these injections may have been administered to Daniel, though. The first is his age. I was 13, (theoretically) on the onset of puberty, when my condition was diagnosed. I had always been the shortest kid by several inches, and even with HGH I topped out at 5'6". This was 14 years ago, and I know my doctors regretted they didn't recognize my condition earlier, as I could have benefitted more. Perhaps advancements have been made that could allow a child to be diagnosed at age 6, but I have my doubts.
The second problem...is it morally correct to give HGH to a child with Fragile X? It seems that he would have so much else going against him, that to introduce another element into his system just to make Daniel grow is just asking for trouble. In fact, I wanted to write this immediatly after the HGH portion of the story was revealled, but I held off due to the possibility of Fragile X. With the new information that Daniel may not have had Fragile X Sydrome, I feel compelled to write.
The third problem, and this is a biggie, is where the injections may have been delivered. News reports state Daniel had needle marks on his arm. This is all wrong. My injections were administered by my parents (both cerified paramedics) directly into the muscle on the back of my leg. THis area also rarely bruises, and a day after you would never know I have recieved a shot. Think about immunizations or antibiotics you've gotten, always into muscle, never (or very rarely) into the bloodstream. I'm surprised this hasn't been mentioned before.
Sorry to be so long-winded, but I just wanted to shed light on something that may have been overlooked. My initial point was that HGH injections to children doesn't mean the parent is short-sighted or unrealistic in their expectations, it could be a necessary boost to jump-start an underdeveloped system. Although HGH to children should ALWAYS be prescribed by a physician specializing in child development. (my prescription was written after seval consultations at child development clinic.) I would be very interested to find out if Dr. Astin wrote Daniel's prescription, in light of recent developments.
Josh Pickard
PS - Just a thought...how about a Random Indian Bitch Lookin Good?
I don't have much to add to this as I have really no experience with HGH or Fragile-X syndrome. To be honest, I thought Fragile-X was the condition Kevin Nash left TNA in after he beat Chris Sabin the first time around. I don't know what the results of the findings for Dr. Astin will end up being but in light of what happened I don't know what this might change. The one thing it might actually come to bare is whether or not their was a misdiagnosis and whether Daniel was actually prescribed the injections and administered them or whether Chris was the one who took them. Either way I don't expect a full report for several weeks. I'd rather not keep thinking about all this, but let's face it, until we get answers to the entire situation from Chris's state of mind to Daniel's condition and Nancy's reported premonitions of violence, can any of us just "forget it"? Thanks for the insight though Josh and next week I'll see what I can do about those "Indian bitches". Wait…red dot or feather?
6 Degrees Results
3 entries this week, seems like business is "putting down". That's the opposite of "picking up" right? Hell I don't blame you, ‘twas a rough week last week.
#3.
Still a bit depressed about the whole mess last week.
1. Paris Hilton made an appearance in the 2001 movie "Zoolander", which starred Ben Stiller.
2. Ben Stiller had an uncredited role in the 2004 movie "Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy", which starred Fred Willard.
3. Fred Willard was a voice in the 2006 movie "Monster House", as was Kevin James.
4. Kevin James will be starring in the upcoming movie "I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry" with Jessica Biel.
5. Jessica Biel had a role in the 2004 movie "Blade: Trinity", as did Triple H.
6. Triple H can be linked to Kane in more than one way. Katie Vick, anyone?
For the record, here is Paris Hilton to Kane in two degrees:
1. Paris Hilton made a sex tape that went public, as did Chyna and X-Pac.
2. X-Pac and Kane were tag team partners in 1999.
Double C
Aww man, cheer up Dub-C, I even threw in an extra Asian chick this week.
#1 (tie)
Chris Page
You know what I haven't done in ages? Enter this six degrees lark. By the way, if that really had been a British Ian Bryant, he would have spelt honour with a 'U'. While I'm at it, "Cheerio" and "pip-pip" I've never actually heard anyone use over here in sunny old
England, "git" didn't really seem in the right context and "snog" seems a bit old fashioned. And I'm pretty sure polygamy is more prevalent in the States. That said, I couldn't argue the term "shag her rotten" if I tried...
So, Paris Hilton and Kane... actually, while I'm rambling and on the subject, absolutely legit phone conversation I had at work today - whilst telling a guy at another company why it would cost more to insure someone traveling to the States than it would Europe (being that it's much further away and thus the holiday would cost more...) he stated some poorly chosen examples to fight his cause, stating that perhaps "someone might be staying at the Hilton hotel, perhaps they'll be spending two grand on spending some
time in Paris". He had no idea why I laughed. Anyway...
1. Paris Hilton was one of two celebrities in the "Vote or Die" campaign that couldn't actually be bothered to vote, the other being rap star Ludacris.
2. Ludacris starred in the movie Crash, also starring Matt Dillon.
3. Matt Dillon got his one and only Oscar nomination for that film and was up for best supporting actor, but was beaten to the award by George Clooney.
4. George Clooney provided the 'voice' for Sparky in South Park. Another man to have voiced a famous cartoon dog is John Ritter (Clifford the big red dog).
5. John Ritter appeared on an episode of The Dating Game, doing so before he was famous, as did Steve Martin.
6. Steve Martin played a fictional evil dentist in the film Little Shop of Horrors, another famous fictional evil dentist being Isaac Yankem DDS, now knows as Kane.
#1.(tie)
Let's try this again. I have 2.........
Kane as his alter ego Glen Jacobs graduated from Northeast Missouri State University, which also produced Jenna Fischer from The Office.
Her Co-Star on The Office is Steve Carrell
Steve Carell was in Anchorman-Legend of Ron Burgundy with Will Ferrell
Will Ferrell was in Old School with Luke Wilson
Luke Wilson has a fellow movie star brother in Owen Wilson
Owen Wilson starred in Zoolander which featured a cameo from Paris Hilton
Paris was in the movie House of Wax with Elisha Cuthbert
Elisha Cuthbert was in The Girl Next Door with Timothy Olyphant (Deadwood's Seth Bullock)
Timothy Olyphant was in Scream 2 with former WCW champ David Arquette
David Arquette dropped the title to The Chosen One Jeff Jarrett
Early in his career Jeff Jarret held the Continental Wrestling Association Heavyweight Championship which he won from Dirty Dutch Mantel
Dutch Mantel was instrumental in training and developing in Smoky Mountain Wrestling and the USWA of a young Glen Jacobs aka KANE
Brian Eyer
I called it a tie this week. I felt both were strong and to be honest, I kinda mentally checked out already in preparation for my trip home to Seattle for my B-day. I had Chris ahead on the strength of his one entry, but Brian had two solid attempts so…it's a tie. I think this week we'll have…Chris send in his entry for a non-wrestling link and Brian you got the wrestling link. So there we go, now everyone is a winner. Except Dub-C…sorry man. You can always consider yourself the "winner runner-up".
Left Overs…
Kurt Angle beat Brock for the IWGP title, kinda. Currently Yugi Nagata holds the REAL IWGP title according to New Japan and they do not recognize the title Kurt Angle currently has. However, upon closer examination of the belt, officially in New Japan had this to say, "oh wait a sec…the gold and the…yeah the symbol with the…oh, okay, we totally recognize that belt now, our bad, we thought the lettering was weird or something".
Big Show boxing? Getting down to 449 lbs. is quite a feat, but right now he's having problems finding an opponent in his weight class. For now Big Show's torso and left arm will be fighting in the Heavyweight Division while his left leg and ass cheek will be training for the Super Middle Weight Division.
The Wrestling Observer is now offering a $500 reward for any photographic evidence that will prove the actual existence of the NWA Title Tournament. This offer good through 2009.
RoH is doing a "Race to the Top" tournament at the end of July because theoretically 73 aren't enough tournaments on the Indy circuit during the summer apparently. So far 15 of the 16 slots have been filled and the last participant is fairly obvious if this is a climbing contest to get to the "Top". Yeah, Nate "Spyder Monkey" Webb. See…it's a "race" joke.
Domino (of Deuce & Domino fame) has a broken nose and orbital bone stemming from a Smackdown house show. Word has it that the next in line to take the titles off D&D if need be is Kurt Angle, although Smackdown doesn't currently recognize their Tag Title belts either.
With his loss to Super Crazy on RAW it looks like Mr. Kennedy is going to be stuck in the mid-card for at least the next 2 to 3 months. His only hope of breaking out early…Sheriff Lee Baca. Sheriff Baca had this to say, "The only thing I can detect as special treatment is the amount of her sentence. Under our 10 percent early Push program, (Kennedy) would have not served any time in our mid-card or would have been directly put on the DX jobbing system."
At any point during RAW did you expect "The King" on commentary to say, "It looks like Mr. Kennedy's ass is grass and Super Crazy is the lawn mower"? I dunno, just seemed like the right time to sneak that one by.
I hear that the RoH deals are 2 years and some offer health coverage. This is great for guys like BJ Whitmer who can finally have the canvas surgically removed from their back.
TNA and FOX are "talking" now. I believe the next step is then "hanging out", then "dating", and inevitably "messin' around". SPIKE has been trying to call TNA all week but so far TNA's only response has been, "What? I don't see a 2-hour timeslot around this finger".
Random Asian Bitch Lookin' Good Pic of the Week
Trust me, she's not bored, she's just...more interested in hair twisting than...you.
Is anyone else wondering if TNA cut a deal on the side with RoH? First Austin Aries is somehow free of his TNA contract, then Matt Sydal ends up rumored at the TNA taping. Was that the full on trade? Aries for Sydal? The least they could have done if they're picking up AJ-cito is thrown in Gran Akuma in soccer shorts and a surgically enhance sloping brow.
The WWE is now looking to revamp their "Wellness Policy". Not only will they be testing wrestler's urine randomly in a more frequent manner, but they will also be testing the feces in the diva's bags left by Randy Orton at least once a month.
Bonus Birthday Hapa Bitch Lookin' Good Pic of the Week
She's might only be half an Asian, but I got a fully chubby
Pimpin' In High Places
A few links this week as I try to fast forward the routine and get this column in early before my drunken stupor sets in:
Shake It 3 Times, as booked by yours truly and the Aussie-ome Might of Matthew Sforcina. We're no Russo and Bischoff, but then again we're also no Russo and Bischoff.
Threat to the 3rd Power is BACK but sans Sean Garmer. Well, if he had left a week earlier I'd write him a ‘Tribute Column', but those seem kinda burned out right about now. Oh well, I'm sure he'll turn up again eventually.
RRRR reviewed the hardest week in televised wrestling.
Fink's Payload has the Jackass Crew. Oh, and those Mtv guys too.
Bauer's FIP changes the guard. Which I hear you should do every 3 months or 3,000 miles, whichever comes first.
Ari rejoices as Austin Aries is back in the fold in RoH. I still believe a big swerve is coming as it will be revealed that HE was the one responsible for blowing up Vince's limo. Making him the biggest ‘face' in RoH history.
Buy or Sell featured me giving Bauer a sound thrashing. He argues that Morishima is getting "over" in RoH, I argue he's getting "overweight".
El hijo de Adam concludes his 3 part series on who rules Japan. I'm going with the Yakuza…just a hunch.
Me? Naughty? previews the next six months looking for potential champions. He also jumps on the "Matt Hardy for next WHT" train that has been picking up steam lately. Although if I was him, I'd keep a close eye on Ashley now.
Sammy highlights the Uber feud that never was as the Briscoes take on the MCMG. Man, what a waste, well at least RoH still has Dunn and Marcos right? Riiiiight?
Sammy's Brand New Day is the subject of his RoH fantasy booking. Wait…maybe RoH doesn't still have Dunn and Marcos? How could you Sammy? How could you??
D-Dubya finds some normality in this crazy mixed up world of abnormality. I wish I hadn't already used my "Thanks for the Memories" pun a while back, seems pretty cogent about now.
Special Birthday Rant
My B-day present to ME this year is a new pair of kicks, a lap dance by a big breasted blonde chick when I get back to LA, and this rant:
This has been a long time coming. I feel like I have suffered in silence for long enough and since my B-day was yesterday (as you read this, not as I write this) then my Birthday gift to ME is going to be allowing myself to get this off my chest. Fanboy-ism is a phenomenon we all know about. It's the fanatical devotion to a wrestler and/or company that knows no bounds and may blind you to any shortcomings or flaws that exist within that chosen entity. Aww hell, I'll just let wiki take it from here (c'mon, you still trust wiki right?):
Fanboy is a term used to describe an individual (usually male, though the feminine version fangirl may be used for females) who is utterly devoted to a single fannish subject, or to a single point of view within that subject, often to the point where it is considered an obsession. Fanboys remain loyal to their particular obsession, disregarding any factors that differ from their point of view. Fanboys are also typically aggressive and hateful towards the opposing brand or competition of their obsession regardless of its merits or achievements. - Wiki
I'll go ahead and give you an example. Every time I go to www.prowrestlingguerrilla.com for all the latest PWG news and notes. *why don't I get free shit for all this pimping?* Inevitably whenever I go to check out the latest card and press release there are already 8 posts on the thread that are hailing the newest card as the "greatest card ever" and tons of people typing in big bold letters, all in caps mind you, "Oh thanks you PWG, THANK YOU THANK YOU" and "God Bless you PWG". Seriously, we're asking God to take time out of his schedule to bless the PWG bookers? The man has shit to do; he's got evil people to smite and weird animals to hide in the Amazon, maybe a weird marsupial with a beak and a 2nd tail. Or a large purple bird with a Carmen Elektra face and 9 nipples on its legs. Shit like that. Plus, he's got religious fanatics to tell what to do in his name presumably, and have you seen Krystal Marshall's ass lately? You think he just whips something up like that in a few minutes? The man has a full schedule. The last thing he has time to do is give his blessing every month to the people who decided a "suck my cock match" was a viable stipulation.
I'm tired of it. I'm tired of the over pimping of each and every card as if every match was a **** affair and the ring crew would be handing out free porn and cold beer out during intermission. I'm tired of reading people blast anyone who dares question the booking, or match quality, or the card of a company I happen to like, although may not always agree with. There is nothing wrong with being a fan of a promotion and still questioning or complaining about something that happened that you didn't like. There is "devotion and loyalty" and then there is just putting on your black Nike's and waiting for the comet to pass overhead with your sippy cup of Kool Aid. I hate the fact that the "Fanboys" of my favorite company makes me into a "hater", just because I can't sit there and sit there at my computer with the rest of the PWG "fanboys" and circle jerk to the BoLA brackets and download naked pictures of Super Dragon and Joey Ryan to post on my ceiling. I love PWG in part because of their dedicated fan base, but…geez…the Message Board has become a place of amusement and horror all at the same time, like sex with Lita. I dunno, I guess I'll just have someone text me the cards from now on. I love PWG and most of it's fans but…they're crazy mang…they're crazy.
**End Rant**
*PHEW*…I feel better now. Well everyone enjoy your weekend, hopefully you had a good 4th of July and made sure to celebrate my birthday with plenty of fireworks, hookers, and Crown Royal. Not necessarily in that order, and not necessarily OUT of that order. I'll be in Seattle for the week so maybe I'll do a little research and see what the Indy scene has in store for me up there. My guess, a fat guy with a beard called Sasquatch wrestling a white guy in a Sonics jersey called the Reignman. Whoopie!!
