Truth B Told 7.12.07: Great Work If You Can Find It
Posted by Bayani Domingo on 07.12.2007
You won’t find roster spots on monster.com, so what happens when a wrestler needs to find a new 9 to 5…or…9 to 11 as it were. Consider this an "option plan".
As of 2 weeks ago I officially hate my job. Oh, it didn't just happen one day, it gradually crept in day by day for the past 6 months. My boss is less qualified for his job than I am. I have two other co-workers which I am packed into a stuffy and oft un-air conditioned room with 9 hours a day. While one of them is tolerable, the other makes me want to punch her in her fat self absorbed head on a daily basis. Seriously, there are at least two times each day that I see her sitting there reading a magazine and complaining about having no work to do while I am loaded down with crap work that she is unwilling to help me with. At least once a day I get so fed up listening to her loud shrill laughing that I contemplate running up to her and giving her overly tanned cougar-y ass a Shining Wizard. It's really becoming an Arn Anderson/Sid Vicious situation that is just not going to end well and I already have my pair of scissors handy. That being said, I have been searching for a new job for the past three weeks and man, it ain't easy. It would be great to just have more options.
Searching for a job is both a liberating and depression act all in and of itself. It's great to see all the possibly options you have, but it's depressing to see how many of them are just either undesirable or just don't pay enough to make the trouble commuting worth it. Wow, I've definitely come up in the world when my salary demands are actually limiting my options…it used to be whether or not I was willing to lift up to 50 lbs and wear shorts as part of my uniform. Still it bares in mind a topic that has hit wrestling fairly hard the past two weeks: Options. For some like RVD there are an almost limitless amount of them. Go back to the WWE, go to TNA, hit the Indy circuit for a while, perhaps Japan, or just bide his time and kick back with Sabu and blaze a few bowls. Oh, side note; don't let anyone tell you about the dangers of pot smoking in wrestling, no one has ever gone on a dangerous killing spree in the world of wrestling while high off Maui Wowee. The only thing they could possibly kill is 2 bags of Chili Cheese Fritos and a Super Big Gulp. "Yeah…I tried to hang myself but…I forgot where the rope was and there was this killer cartoon on…you know the one with the cat and the mouse…man, that mouse is a DICK…seriously dude…wait….uh…what?"
I look at my job options right now and I have to take a lot of things into consideration: location, money, job status, and longevity. Wrestlers go through the same thing. Look at a wrestler like Monty Brown who jumped from TNA to WWE when apparently TNA didn't want to sign him to a long term contract and commit to giving him a solid push. While TNA saw him as a wrestler that didn't have a lot of dedication to improving in the ring and didn't work enough other Indy dates to really make the improvements necessary, the WWE saw a big muscular guy with decent charisma and potential. Monty isn't any higher on the card in ECW as he was in TNA and is on the "C" show of the bunch. I'm not sure if his loss of income in his personal training business made up for the raise Vince is giving him, but at least he has the ‘prestige' of working for THE company in wrestling. If I had to make a guess as to his longevity, I'd say he has at least a few more years I him, probably 3 tops before he's cut along with one or both of the Highlanders. Monty basically was in a situation where he had to look for a new job and landed in an optimal situation, for now. Clearly going over seas wasn't his cup of tea (green or earl grey) and he wasn't known as an Indy warrior. Still there have been others who have had the opportunity to seek employment even when they didn't necessarily have to.
Look at guys like Bryan Danielson, Samoa Joe, and CM Punk who all had the same options and yet their decisions are varied. All three guys have worked around the world at some point, with Danielson being the most well traveled. At one point all of them had been courted by the WWE and had an offer on the table or in the works from the "e". Samoa Joe signed with TNA due to his own contention that working TNA and his Indy and International dates would be more lucrative than signing with Vinny Mac. One would think that his longevity in TNA is dependent on how long he wants to stay as he was rumored to be offered yet another 3 year extension to his contract. His TNA commitment in terms of schedule are far more favorable although clearly the "e" is the most well respected company. The only real debate is whether he'd be such a big player in the WWE had he signed or whether he'd be Jomaga the Samoan Bulldozer? You have to assume based on how Punk is doing right now he would probably still be in the mid-card.
CM Punk is another example of a wrestler who was the "hottest free agent" at one point and signed with the WWE. This was due to a number of reasons and it seems as though he has progressed enough to get a real shot at the ECW title very soon. Perhaps holding it as early as the GAB. Still the traveling schedule must be daunting, although the checks must be a heck of a lot bigger than the ones that had Ian Rotten's name on them. For Punk it wasn't necessarily about the dollar bills or freedom to work the Indies and over seas, it was about making it to the WWE. Too bad he had to sacrifice a lot of what made him so unique in the process as the Punk we see on Tuesdays is a far cry from the one that went the distance with Samoa Joe in RoH. Still, the man is boning Maria on the weekly so that's gotta account for something. If nothing else he can still go up to Kenny Dykstra backstage and tell him that he's "welcome" for breaking Mickie in for him. CM Punk didn't hate his old job or employers, he just merely took the steps towards working for the biggest company in the industry, hoping he'd eventually reach the kind of success he's dreamed of. Let's just hope he does better than all of the other Indy stars turned WWE "Superstars".
Oh yeah, Bryan Danielson, I hear he has a mighty interesting story too. The man had offers from TNA and the WWE at different times. I read in an interview where he had an offer from the "e" and New Japan at the same time and choose New Japan, but that didn't exactly pan out and by the time he found out the offer was off the table. I do however think that Danielson realizes how much he can make on the Indy scene and internationally thanks to his sterling reputation. Plus the fact is that a guy who is about 5'9" and 210 lbs. would probably not be able to work the way he does now and wouldn't receive near the kind of push that a Punk or a Joe might get, despite the fact that he's arguably a better wrestler than both of them. Danielson probably travels as much as he would with the "e" but considering he's the uncrowned "Indy King" and makes probably just as good of money as he would jobbing to Snitsky on Heat he's doing fairly well for himself. The man has options and that's not to say he can't change his mind down the road and make legions of RoHbots around the world weep like Paris Hilton at a hearing.
The option a wrestler has in the industry is a lot more clearly defined than it used to be. Look at the latest news about Teddy Hart signing a developmental deal with the WWE. It seemed like for years Teddy had been trying to get into the WWE and time and time again his attitude was the reason he didn't make it. He had limited his options as he was basically blackballed from a couple of the bigger Indy feds like RoH, CZW and PWG. He had done a few shows in Japan and England, but nothing really stuck. His time in JAPW and in the ill fated WSX only served as a way to keep his name out there in order to get the WWE to eventually sign him. It worked in the end, but signing a "Developmental Deal" and making inside a WWE are two very different things. Personally I hope he makes it, I became a real big fan of the guy when I met him in person and was nothing but gracious, still, the man either severally handicapped his career by severely limiting his options or he was so driven to get to the WWE that nothing else mattered. That's a debate for another time.
The set up to all this is that for a lot of people like Teddy Hart, the WWE is the best and ONLY option. Some guys don't want to have to shuttle from Kobe, to Mexico City, to England just to get the kind of exposure that a Danielson, Regal, Fallen Angel, Eddie, Finlay, or Benoit got. They want to stay stateside. The WWE is a dream for just about 9 out of every 10 wrestlers out there. The problem is that because the options are so limited they are likely to do some very dangerous things to not only get to the "e" but stay there. While Viscera and Rey Mysterio have jobs, it is clear that Vince likes size and by size I mean "bulk". With the exception of a few of the cruiserweights still around the "e" is looking for muscular wrestlers at least 6 feet tall and around 220+ lbs. you look at the guys who are the most popular and well elevated like John Cena, Batista, Lashley, Undertaker, HHH, and Johnny Nitro and you notice how ripped they are, almost unnaturally so. Sure you get a few guys like Jericho, Edge, Kennedy, even Punk who aren't exactly chiseled out of stone and manage to eek out some success, but still they are more the exception to the rule. Besides, its not as if those guys are booked as "dominant" exactly, but rather wiley and heelish in the way they are able to eek out wins. Well except Punk, but in the next few weeks we'll see how that all plays out.
Don't forget about the perspective "Divas" as well. Look who is holding that big golden accessory known as the "Women's Title" right now, its none other than one of the most useless pieces of pussy this side of well…ECW? I am still not buying Candice as being worthy of holding the belt when it is clear that she is the worst wrestler on RAW who isn't currently going to end up in an angle involving an Italian immigrant sexually assaulting her and beating her while yelling at her to cook him some sausage and peppers in a wife beater and thick gold chain. Oh sorry, I mean to say *Spoiler* for next Monday's RAW. The basic gist is that you had better have some huge fake titties and be willing to don them on the pages of Playboy if you expect to get anywhere in this biz. At least now that Trish and Stacy are gone…*weeps*
There is a certain "look" that Vince craves whether it be the men or women and when you find the WWE as not only your best option, but in your mind, the ONLY option you may take some fairly desperate measures. Look at the case we have before us now, it's been said that Benoit was pretty paranoid about losing his job and getting fired from the "e". If nothing else I bet he was counting on at least another year or two of active wrestling before probably getting a job as a trainer or agent. I can only imagine what state of mind he had been in for the past several months. That's not all, it's already come out that some wrestlers had been administered steroids by various sources in the past, Edge openly admitted to using them and Eddie Guerrero had done the same. Steroid use aren't the only downside as guys like Joey Mercury and Eugene have been felled by addictions to painkillers due to feeling that they had to stay active and on the road if they wanted to ‘keep their spot' on the roster. This is fairly prevalent throughout wrestling, but it becomes a real eye opener since it's in the biggest wrestling company in the world.
There are few wrestlers who are immune to the trials and tribulations that happen in the WWE, especially when it comes to injury and work schedules. Guys like the Undertaker and Ric Flair have earned themselves abbreviated work schedules. Hulk Hogan, Mick Foley, and Stone Cold Steve Austin have been known to pick and choose when and where they work for a nice little ‘payday'. Guys like HHH, HBK, Mark Henry, and Batista have been on and off the shelf plenty of times but never seem to lose their spot upon their return. Even Randy Orton has managed to escape the chopping block after multiple ‘indiscretions' and attitude problems. At this point, he'd probably have to kidnap HHH and Steph's daughter, put her in a gym bag, then shit in it…while wearing a TNA t-shirt and giving an interview to Larry King about all the steroids he got from Vince in order to get fired. Problem is that not everyone else gets that chance. That's not to say that guys like Benoit, Edge, Eddie, Matt Hardy, Rey Mysterio, etc. weren't welcomed back after they got back from injury and Vinny Mac hasn't had his share of kind gestures when it comes to putting his guys through rehab, but there are a lot of guys on the roster who aren't quite as ‘bulletproof'. McMahon's charity only reaches so far.
For as many times I've you've said, "Holy SHIT, Val Venis still has a job", you've probably also wondered why an O'Haire, or Kidman, or even Scotty 2 Hotty was released. Seriously, if nothing else I think Benoit's paranoia hit when S2H was released, if anyone was going to have a lifetime job it would have been Mr. Hotty. The man made it through like 79 roster cuts so far. The fact is that no one is really safe in the WWE and one way to try to hold on to your spot is to not miss any time with injury (Test learned that lesson the first time around) and try to stay as buffed out and insanely yoked as you possibly can (Test thought he learned his lesson this last time). No wonder steroids, HGH, and prescription drug addictions are so common in the WWE, and don't tell me they aren't. can you really name one show that doesn't have at least 2 or 3 guys on the roster without a history or isn't a suspect now? Okay, maybe ECW, but they only have like 7 guys on the roster. Because WCW went under and TNA hasn't broken through yet there are very few options for a lot of these wrestlers to not only ply their trade but also making a decent enough living as well. Trust me, CZW isn't exactly known for setting up their wrestlers in fancy cars and houses. I'm fairly sure most of their wrestlers actually consider both of those one in the same.
I look at the wrestling world as a situation very similar to my own when job hunting. I have put 10+ years (including college and grad school) into specializing in a very specific field of work that has a fixed number of positions to fill. While I have a bit more control over my commuting situation than most wrestlers do, the better paying jobs seem to require at least a 45 minute to hour and a half commute (is that normal?). Any wrestlers working for the WWE or the Indy circuit have to do at least SOME traveling. WWE requires the most, then Indy work (depending on Int'l bookings) and then TNA, although that number is climbing with more and more house shows being set up. I guess if you wanted to cut down your commute you could just work in Japan or Mexico, but even then the culture shock might not be worth it. That doesn't even include the money and prestige situations.
If I want to make a decent wage I'm going to make some sacrifices. Usually the equation is "More money = More responsibilities + More work hours". The same goes with the WWE as more restrictions are placed on you and the hours aren't exactly a breeze going from city to city every day. But let's face it, Cash Rules Everything Around Me…wait…that sounded familiar, anyways the bottom-line is that a bottom-line is very important, that's why it's called "Fame and Fortune", not "Fame and ability to stay true to your Indy gimmick and move set". However, the "fame" in this equation is a rather subjective term as well. Let's take Joe and Danielson for example.
Bryan Danielson probably could be working for the WWE if he really wanted to, but chooses not to. Most people think that if you're an American wrestler and not in the WWE, then it means you're either not good enough or you just don't have what it takes. Danielson is one of the few that breaks that perception as he has the reputation and fan base to disprove that. Samoa Joe also could be in the WWE but again he had his reasons, namely his decision was that he'd rather be a big fish in a small/medium sized pool than a small mid-carder in a big ocean. Christian Cage and Kurt Angle must have felt the same way as they spurned the "e" to sign with TNA. Christian choosing to be the top heel in TNA rather than a JTTS in the mid-card on Smackdown. Kurt Angle on the other hand decided that he'd rather have more control over his own career and apparently felt like he was being demoted to ECW when he left. I can't argue with that, although his results in TNA thus far has been mixed at best. I had a similar decision with my last job where I took my current position in order to be a big fish in a little pond. Little did I know that I would merely end up as a Tomko-esque mid-carder, apparently when my time to shine comes, ‘someone will let me know'.
Oh yeah, let's not forget about the "fringe benefits" as well. While we may have our 401K plans, the WWE and TNA to some extent also have these things called "Road Agent" positions, as well as the "e" having ‘Legends Contracts', which can result in a bit of job security down the road for a Regal, Finlay, or HBK. Also vacation time is a real sticking point right now as I found out. I went from 4 weeks of vacation last year to two. Sadly enough, I still have a FULL WEEK left. So much for being able to take some time off. Now I know how the guys in the "e" feel. That again is something I wish the "e" would institute, so 2 weeks off every 3 or 4 months for their guys, in a rotating fashion, just to get healthy, rest up, and have some time at home. Really all it means is that if say, Ken Kennedy was on RAW this week, he would just skip the next RAW and show up at the subsequent one. Just take him off house shows for those two weeks and unless a PPV happens then he'd have the time to be at home. It's not like we need to see every wrestler every week, things will be fine, hell, maybe even a tag team or cruiserweight or mid-carder can get his TV time during that week. TNA does their tapings 2 or 3 at a time and things seem to be alright, the "e" should really look into this. We all need ‘vacations' from time to time.
I find myself in a situation not unlike Matt Sydal right now. For weeks there was talk of the WWE possibly being interested in him, then a report that he would be at the Impact! tapings last week. He's also due for another tour in Japan for Dragon Gate this summer. The man is everywhere and seems to have tons of options. I have a Master's Degree and great experience from my two jobs, he has a TPI win and RoH tag title reign to his credit. RoH seems to be grooming him for something good, but they still manage to keep him just out of the big title scene, kind of like my job. But the man has potential suitors and plenty of options right? The only question is how great will those options really turn out to be? Jamie Noble and Matt Bentley come to mind when thinking about potential gone awry. Sydal isn't in a horrible position as is, he's working for RoH/PWG/IWA:MS/Dragon Gate, fairly regularly. But then again he has to consider whether that is the kind of success and notoriety he really wants or whether he's willing to strike out towards something new with the promise of greater fame and fortune. Its something we will all struggle with at some point, do we stay where we are and hope for the best? Or do we cast our fortunes to the wind…and bookers? Eh, well at least Sydal gets to dish out as many Shining Wizards as he wants, me? I might have to see the HR lady after the 2nd one.
The Truth
I gotta apologize this week. I really had no clue where this column was going until about the 9th paragraph in. Even then I wasn't actually sure I got there. Basically the gist of all this is that finding a job sucks. The prospect of all the possibilities are great, but the reality and hassle of it all, sucks a fat donkey dick. Wrestlers go through the same things. While most of the decent ones find employment at one Indy fed or another, only about the top 5% or so find work in the WWE, TNA, or RoH, which really is where you want to be. Some people say "Japan", but that's really more of a "tour or 2" type thing. Very few people really want to move their permanently, but rather think its a stepping stone to bigger things. Hell, look at Tomko and Brian Kendrick. Well kind of. The options a wrestler has can be many or few. That can lead to some difficult decisions that go far past staying on the Indy scene as a big fish in a little pond, or rather to go to the WWE and the big time, or somewhere in the middle, i.e. TNA. The path to getting to the "big time" is rough, but the path to staying there can be just as hard. If there was one thing to take away form all this rambling is that wrestling at its most base form, is merely a job. While not quite as glamorous as being a Hollywood actor or star football player, it certainly beats bagging groceries or bussing tables. Still, it has it's pitfalls and problems like any other job, although sometimes those pitfalls can be much deeper. So next time you run across an opening that seems too good to be true on the ol' monster.com web page. First ask yourself; What Would Danielson Do?
Coming Up Short
So from what I can tell, Big Daddy V is a COMPLETELY new wrestler that no one has ever seen or heard of before. The man is a massive behemoth who is a complete mystery to ECW's wrestlers, announcers, and by proxy their fans. When he came out to squash the Boogeyman, Joey Styles and Taz were just stupefied and amazed…or just stupid. I can understand repackaging wrestlers who didn't look anything like their new gimmick or have been inactive for a long period of time and didn't have an already established gimmick to begin with; Isaac Yankem DDS to Kane, Mordecai to Kevin Thorne, or Johnny Nitro (Bischoff intern) to Johnny Nitro MNM. But Viscera to Big Daddy V? what the fuck? They basically made him Vis-dullah the Butcher and gave his "Ladies Man" gimmick to The Miz. So not only do they think the fans are fuckin' morons for not being able to recognize Viscera, but hey also expect us to believe that hot bitches want The Miz. Seriously…The Miz. Why didn't they just say that Viscera has a new look and leave it at that? otherwise the "e" really does think that their fan base are made up of idiots. Logical repackaging in ECW is seriously coming up short this week. Seriously though…The Miz? WTF??
6 Degrees of…
I'm going to have to research this Ziyi Zhang before trying to enter, I've never heard of her.
Anyway, I have to get the non-wrestling entry? Bugger, that's far harder. I can reel off an obscure wrestling personality no problem, but obscure celebrities? OK, since we've got a good looking Asian actress this time out, something that's prevalent on your page (as a
matter of fact, I think my Ziyi Zhang research could be hampered by only being able to do this research for fifteen minutes at a time), I call my rights to pick a good looking actress from my own country... or at least the country on my mothers side, since I'm
calling Franka Potente. A Run Lola Run picture to accompany this would be appreciated. Cheers. Chris Page
Hey-
OK....I read your column again and I am a retrad.....I get it now.....my submission for the wrestling part would be Billy Jack Haynes.
For future one's if I win, I am going with Steve Austin to Jay Buhner.
Sorry for the confusion on the initial email. Brian Eyer
Um…okay. This should be interesting. A tie last week gave us a double entry this week from Chris n' Brian so we have the chick from "Run Lola Run" and the uncrowned master of the Full Nelson. Yeah, that's right Billy Jack would decimate Chris Masters in a contest. I only wish we could have had a Full Nelson Elimination Chamber match with Masters, Hercules, Billy Jack, Ken Patera, and…the chick from Run Lola Run. Well, get to it kiddies.
Whatchu talkin' bout readers?
Well we got one e-mail this week, surprisingly it had to do with my B-day rant. Btw, thanks to everyone who sent me Happy Birthday Wishes…which is none of you tossers.
Okay so i know you attend the shows, and those 8 dudes who are always front row, cheering Ronin like crazy. That nevin steen kid, that kid who Joey Ryan always threatens to make out with, their midget friend, and the dude who looks like Shelton Benjiman, or you know Belton Shenjiman as I call him. Those dudes also post the results on the forums with their "after show" thoughts and try to skew people into believing that Davey draws incredible heel heat, and that Ronin had the biggest pop of the night. Anybody dissing Ronin is automatically a "fag" who doesn't know "Wrestling". I had the dubious pleasure of sitting behind those dudes during the DDT4 Tag tourney, and well I'm hoping I could have ruined their night. You know I was booing Ronin, cheering Joey, Cheering Dragon, and going "BOOM-SHAKA-LAKA" ala Vince McMahon. The two boys of the group reacted with disgust, and even got mad at me for "disrespecting the sport of pro wrestling" when CIMA was getting tea bagged by Danielson during a submission hold. It was the truth, Danielson's balls were firmly placed on CIMA's face.
Really though I don't like people who consider you an idiot for having a different opinion.
Unless of course it's because you hate ROnin=Fag.
I seriously hate ronin.
-Basic Dugganomix
Me and my crew are always a bit confused as to who is who. We call the kid Joey kissed "Sydal Fan" from his early days as a Matt Sydal "mark", then there is I believe "patches", who is the dude who wears the sports blazer with elbow patches all the time, "Fat Maximo", who is the young teenage looking kid who looks like a fatter Maximo brother…maybe Juan their kid bro, I'm confused about Belton Shenjamin because me and my girl debated whether you were referring to "Blue Tooth" or "Biker Boy". "Blue Tooth" is the guy who used to…well wear a Blue Tooth all the time and "Biker Boy" (who is a cool cat btw, from personal experience) has the biker jacket on all the time. Yeah, those guys used to be 5 times more annoying but they've settled down since. I hated it when "Sydal Fan" brings his sunflower seeds and spits it everywhere before a show…with a bit of intimidation on my part he started bringing a cup though. Yay for me bullying a 16 year old kid. At least I didn't make him take the "B-Lock Challenge". But I digress. PWG fans or Indy fans in general can be either enhance or kill a live show depending on the mood and the company. I know that one of the semi-regular refs killed the Tag Title match for me when he was yelling the ENTIRE MATCH on night 2…he's a REF for God's sake, he just finished refereeing the match after intermission, why would you want to be THAT obnoxious? I think the fact that Indy fans are so passionate about the sport can be a boon in many cases, but it gets to the point where you get tired of arguing, hence my boycotting of message boards. I don't usually get hassled at shows about who I boo or cheer because…well I'm apparently a bully. So yeah. Although before I leave SoCal I would LOVE to get into a fist fight over an Indy argument, just once. Just because it sounds like a good story to tell. "See this tooth? Yeah, it belongs to a guy who thought Ricky Reyes the better Havana Pitbull... ".
Oh and I've met Ronin a good handful of times in real life, nice guy, but yeah, he definitely needs a bit of work in the ring (although he's still fairly young), maybe a few new power moves…a couple hours in the gym…plus the outfit makes it hard to take him seriously. I realize Super Dragon gets away with the whole, "White man in a Japanese costume" thing, but his is a little more sinister looking. Still it's a far sight better than his old costume. I will admit that the guy has improved in the ring since I first saw him 2 years ago and he's pretty decent in other SoCal Indy feds, some of which have folded. I'm also going to officially launch the idea that he should just go full on ‘Tokyo Magnum' with dancing Harajuku girls and everything (you know the guy has to be an Asiaphile anyways so it's a perfect fit). I even got some Entrance Music picked out. Cuz' you know Ronin = Samurai. Or DeNiro/Paccino movie…either/or. Seriously…someone needs to link that shit to him like STAT, PWG needs a serious dose of Harajuku.
6 Degrees Results
Honorable Mention
#3
This spot was vacated due to a "no show".
#2
Holy crap! It's Wednesday and I haven't submitted my 6DO for this week! What a slacker I am.
1. Ziyi Zhang starred in the 2001 movie "Rush Hour 2", which also starred Jackie Chan.
2. Jackie Chan starred in the 2004 movie "Around The World In 80 Days", in which Macy Gray had a role.
3. Macy Gray made an appearance as herself in the 2003 movie "Scary Movie 3", which starred Pam Anderson.
4. At the 2006 Canada Walk Of Fame tribute gala, Pam Anderson was kissed on the lips by the host of the gala, Trish Stratus.
5. At Bad Blood 2004, Trish Stratus beat Victoria for the WWE Women's Championship.
6. In 2003, Victoria was the last one eliminated in a seven-woman battle royal, which was won by Gail Kim in her first televised WWE match, giving Kim the WWE Women's Championship, which made history as (1) the quickest acquisition of the title by any female, (2) the first female with a Korean background to win the Women's Championship, and (3) the first WWE Diva to win the Women's Championship in her WWE debut.
Btw, thanks for "cheering me up" last week with the double RABLGPotW. In essence, with Ziyi Zhang and Gail Kim as part of the 6DO, it was actually a quadruple RABLGPotW. Who could ask for anything more?
Double C
Hey, I do what I can Dub-C, and if it means packing my column with more hot Asian chicks each week, then by GOD I'll do it. I do it for you guys…I do it for the fans. *Sorry, Teddy Hart moment there*
#1.
Hey
First, a shout out, you column is one of my favourite's every week. In fact, you are probably my favourite, but Randle lives in my town, so he automatically gets my love.
1) Ziyi Zhang was in Hero, with Jet Li
2) Jet Li was in Lethal Weapon 4, along with Rene Russo
3) Rene Russo was in the Thomas Crown Affair, which was directed by John McTiernen
4) John McTiernen directed Rollerball, which had a bit part by Paul Heyman
5) Paul Heyman was the General Manager of SD, until he quit and was replaced by Teddy Long
6) Teddy Long was ringside as a manager of Jazz when Gail Kim won her only Women's Title on the June 30th, 2003 episode of Raw.
*fingers Crossed*
Louis Jones
Well, you won this round because I personally loved Hero, which happens to be one of the few movies I own on DVD, and never saw Rush Hour 2. Or at least I don't think I did. Did I? Well if so it apparently wasn't good enough for me to remember. Either way, beginners luck for you Louis and a chance to submit a link for next week's 6DO. Which blocks Brian from his Stone Cold to Buhner opportunity for yet another week.
Left Overs…
Rumor has it that TNA recently sent a letter to the California State Athletics Commission letting them know of their intent to run some shows in the state. Seeing as how they pulled all their talent from PWG, this somehow makes a bit more sense. They take away talent that SoCal wants to see then teases them by doing a couple house shows. It's like having your girlfriend break up with you, only to send you naked pictures of herself on myspace a month later. TNA, you fuckin' cock tease.
The Top Indy Female Wrestler (as SHIMMER would have you believe) Sara Del Rey is in my backyard, so to speak, this Friday. She'll be at the Alternative Wrestling Shop show in City of Industry at 8 pm I believe. Outdoors as it were in 85+ degree weather. Not really sure if it's worth the 1 ½ hour drive in the butt ass middle of traffic though. She'll be taking on Johnny Paradise. Yep, a dude. My guess is Paradise tries to work over SDR's foot by constantly hitting it with his ass. Sounds like a solid game plan to me.
Don't forget to catch 2 out of the 3 Dinks on 20/20 this weekend for their thoughts on the Chris Benoit tragedy and steroids in wrestling.
Who in their right mind decides to let Tommy Dreamer and Stevie Richards get that much offense on the ECW Champion and #1 contender? Even the SDvsR video game at some point would just cut you off after about 4 minutes and have Stevie do the job automatically. At least order was restored when Burke beat Balls with his "transition move". Then again, a double knee to Balls seems like an automatic fall no matter what.
Matt Hardy and MVP are going to fight over the US Title. You know, one would think that should be the main event for the "Great American Bash". Cuz' it's the United States Title after all. Same goes with the old European Title when they ran Insurrextion. Or the Women's Title in Uselesstwatistan.
Sabu will be at AAA's Triplemania down in Mexico. Sabu is scheduled to face Abismo Negro and Tijuana Marron in a 3 way. *That joke brought to you in SAP*
I'm calling it now, Cody Runnels turns on Dusty and aligns with Randy Orton to create some kind of Next Generation Super Heel stable. Hopefully they don't also add the Hart Foundation 2k7 but you never know. I think a better choice would be Ted DiBiase's boy who is in Japan right now. That would make a pretty boss stable name: The Legendary Million Dollar Dream Killers. Okay, so those t-shirts would only come in XL or bigger, it's still worth a first print run.
Well Scott Steiner is going to make a full recovery and could even make the next Impact tapings next week. Steiner was probably just babying his injury, I mean, Lita has taken much harder jabs to her throat over the years than that and she was always ready to go by the next night.
Congrats to Joey Ryan and Karl "Machine Gun" Anderson for capturing the NWA Tag Team titles last week. They beat X-Pac and Billy Kidman for the belts, which was a pretty impressive feat. Kidman and Waltman were livid after the match and vowed to get revenge on Ryan/Anderson next time they meet. "Oh yeah, we're going to get them alright, not only are we going to pin them in the ring, not only are we going to take their titles from the, but we're going to masturbate to THEIR ex-girlfriends in Playboy!!...oh shit…God I'm lonely". *You decide which guy that quote came from…either way, you're not wrong*
Random Asian Bitch Lookin' Good Pic of the Week
Hey, nice spread you got here.
Random Though for Today: I just assume all the guys in the "Blue Man Group" are white under their make up. Is that racist?
Midway just announced that the TNA game will be out in the Spring of next year and will be playable on the Xbox 360, PS2, PS3, and Wii. Which is awesome since we actually have the Wii, that means you'll be able to jab forward to recreate the "Gore" as Rhino, wrench on the controller to do the "Ankle lock" as Angle, and just lay the remove on the ground when wrestling as Shark Boy.
I also vaguely remember someone last week asking about a Hot Indian Chick Pic or something. Boy, it was hard to find a good spot, but once I did.... surprisingly this is one "dish" that didn't make me need to take a serious shit 20 minutes later. What? That's not racist, I'm just sayin' I order my Lamb Vindaloo spicy as hell. Geeez.
Pimpin' In High Places
Man, when you hate your job...you got nothing but time on your hands to read the fine, fine content right here...on 411mania *thumbs up*:
Ask 411 answers the questions you lob over the fence. Now before he prints all those e-mails giving the correct reference to "4-Up", I believe it is either "4 upside the head" as a reference to his ‘boxing days'. Or in response to Punk's Pepsi tattoo... Elijah just likes 7-Up too, but only 57% as much as Punk likes Pepsi.
Jules looks at the top aquisitions in wrestling. I'm surprised he didn't mention Vince buying all of WCW. It did give us Stacy Keibler afterall...and a few other guys I believe...but that's not important. Stacy...that's all that matters.
F or F this week has JT going head to head with Ari. This week they tackle ECW going to the youngsters. As well as the big scary black dudes with monstrous titties.
Fink's Payload this week featured a special guest fill-in. ME. Go read it, I kick ass on any column. Except for "Colostomy of Honor". I was pretty shitty in that one.
Evo Scheme author and co-faux PWG booker, Matt Sforcina brings some Mean Gene back this week. My guess is he had to use a bolt of lightening and the Necronomicon to do so.
CoH is practically giddy heading into a big big week for RoH in the land of the rising sun. who knows which belt might return to the states this weekend or which belts might end up in the hands of the evil Kai-en-tai?? Tune in to find out...gaijin.
Threat x 3 time, don't forget about their new guy. I guess that really DID make Sean Garmer the Brian Dunklemen of that column after all.
J-Link loves the Indies. While BoLA '07 may or may not be in the works for him, chances are he could borrow the money for the plane tickets from Human Tornado...you just don't want to know how he'd have to pay him back.
Sammy spotlights Shingo vs Reyes this week in the IMC. Which sounded like a good match up on paper, but then you realized...SHINGO's mullet was bigger than Ricky Reyes at that point.
D-Dubya has the Invasion Angle. Or rather the Invasion's Angle. I mean to say...shit, Kurt really had a great and confusing wrestling name didn't he? I'm still waiting for a guy called Barrry L to debut. And subsequently feud with Hulk Hogan.
This is the kind of week where when I have nothing interesting to talk about I just kinda...type. yeah, it happens. You don't think we get writer's block here on 411? How the hell else do you think "Ask 411" came about? We got tired of thinkin' up stuff so we make you guys do all the work. Worked for Napier...well kinda. Where is that guy? Btw, I'd appreciate any thoughts on whether an hour+ trip is worth it to see Sara Del Rey beat up a guy with a pony tail. Or maybe just wait and invite her to get a drink in Hollywood later, the same things bound to happen, only this time, he'll bleed the "hard way". Damn yuppies.
