Wrestling’s 4R’s 7.13.07: RETRO Victory Road, Flair chops down a Midget, Christian's Two-Front War, Rebuilding ECW, The Bull of the Woods returns to the Bash and More!
Posted by Larry Csonka on 07.13.2007
Look at me when I am talking to you…because you NEVER crack whip with the American Dream!
The 4R's of wRestling
Introduction~!
-Welcome back kids for another edition of Wrestling's 4R's! As always I am Larry Csonka, along with me is my tag team partner "The Whole Geoffin Show" Geoff Eubanks. It is time again for that walk through the wild world of wrestling TV that we take each and every week. We're pretty much back to normal here at R CENTRAL and ready to tackle the week that was in wrestling. I had a slight vacation and such last week and didn't get to see Impact, so my recapping tag team partner Ryan Byers will join the crew to give his analysis of that particular show! As usual, have a snack and drink, it's a long read.
How the 4R's of wRestling Work!
Here is a quick explanation of the 3 R's. I will take the 4 main shows (5 if I go RetRo) of the week: TNA Impact, WWE Raw, ECW on Sci-Fi and WWE Smackdown. If we have a PPV, that show will get a special PPV edition of the R's all to its own. I then group my feelings on the shows in various categories: The Right, the wRong and the Ridiculous. The Right is stuff that worked very well: a great promo, a great match and so on. PuRgatoRy is a section between the right and wrong. It shows equal traits from both sides that cannot be ignored and need discussed. It is not a bad place per say, as things can get remedied or go the wrong way the very next week. The wRong is what it sounds like: bad matches, bad or boring promos and so on. The Ridiculous is stuff that had no right on TV: Stupid angles, Diva searches and so on. And there is always a possibility of a 5th R, which is as bad as they come. This column is supposed to be analytical, and at the right time very critical of the shows, it was the whole reason it was created. This is not a "mark" column, nor a "smark" column, I cannot speak for Geoff, but my goal is to analyze the show from many different fronts, reward the good and call out the bad. There are also occasions where I will bring out a 4th, 5th or even a 6th R to the column, so beware of those~! I will not apologize for my opinions, they are as they are, whether very positive or negative.
iMpact!: By: Ryan Byers
iMpact 7.05.07: The Right:
Better Than the Best – People within TNA were claiming that last week's Rhino/Angle/Christian three-way was the best match in the history of Impact. I was of the opinion that, though it was a good match, those people were full of it. There was a better match on Imapct three weeks ago in the form of Chris Harris vs. James Storm. And, believe it or not, there was a better match on this edition of Impact in the form of the Dudley Boys vs. LAX vs. AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels. They got roughly thirty minutes with a couple of commercial interruptions, and all six men appeared to be at the top of their game. I don't have a complete archive set up anywhere, but it was definitely within the top five to ten Impact matches of all time. This match proved two things to me. The first is that, no matter how much I may have dogged on them in the past for being stale or overrating their own place in the history of tag team wrestling, the Dudley Boys are ridiculously hard workers and will leave it all in the ring in order to produce an epic match when the need arises. Bubba Dudley, who clocks in at over three hundred pounds, didn't need to do a dive from the top rope to the floor in order to get the sort of reaction that he did during this match. He could've just coasted and relied on his name value to get the same pop from the crowd. However, for the benefit of making the match feel more important, he was willing to pull out all of the stops, and so was D-Von. My hat goes off to both of them for their performances. The second thing that this match proved to me was that TNA really shouldn't have bothered signing Kurt Angle. Here are six guys who were on the roster before he ever showed up, and they all put on a match better than any that Angle has had since coming to TNA. On top of that, television ratings have not greatly increased since Angle showed up, nor have pay per view buys. This match left me scratching my head is to what exactly that man has actually done for this promotion.
puRgatory:
Christian's Two-Front War – Christian is feuding with both Chris Harris and Abyss simultaneously. Part of me doesn't have a problem with this, because the Abyss match is something that needs to be dragged out for a few months, and Harris is just as good as anybody for Cage to go up against while we wait on that. However, there are a couple of things that are bothering me when it comes to this angle. First of all, there was NEVER a conclusion to the Chris Harris vs. James Storm feud, nor was there an explanation given as to why they would suddenly stop hating each other's guts. Furthermore, I just can't buy Christian as a big enough star to be involved in two feuds at the same time. I was a big fan of his work with the WWF during his singles run, but something about the guy doesn't translate well to being a top-level star, which is how TNA has tried to portray him since his debut with the company. They need to move him back in to being the midcard comedy act that periodically has a brief run against the main event faces. That's where he was the most effective.
Rhino Goes to AA (Not AAA . . . that's where Konnan and Killings went) – James Storm and Rhino are headed in to a PPV match. I actually like Rhino's explanation for why he went insane after tasting Storm's beer two weeks ago. I had a feeling that it would have something to do with alcoholism in his past, and that's the sort of angle that, if not delivered properly, can come off as cheesy and turn away fans. However, Rhino's pretaped promo on Impact managed to deliver the story in such a way that it wasn't overbearing and he didn't look like a pansy for not being able to hold his liquor. The big problem with the angle at this point is that we don't know why Storm has been coming after Rhino in the manner that he has. I can understand him spitting beer on Rhino during the first week of the angle, as that's a normal sort of humiliation tactic that a heel would use against a fallen opponent. What hasn't been explained is why Storm would run out during the main event of last week's show and douses the War Machine with beer for a second time. Why does the Cowboy care about Rhino's performance in a World Title match? That should have been explained before the run-in took place.
The Wrong:
The Angle that WILL NOT DIE – I like Eric Young. I like Bobby Roode. Hell, I even like Traci Brooks. However, I wanted to put my foot through my TV set when I saw that the feud involving all three of them is going to continue. The angle was terrible until its last month of existence in which Jeff Jarrett was able to help Young liberate himself. At that point, a really lame storyline had been salvaged, and it looked like both Young and Roode were going to get the opportunity to move up the card. However, that apparently isn't going to happen, which is unfortunate given all of the hard work that these two have put in to making the rivalry something to remember.
"Kurt Angle Appreciation Night" – Nothing will make you look like a second rate WWE more than doing a gimmick that they just did three weeks ago.
The Ridiculous:
Lance Hoyt, ACTOR~! – I haven't heard a thirty-second promo that wooden since David Flair got out of wrestling. Hoyt needs to go back to standing around and looking menacing, preferably with Kid Kash once again acting as his mouthpiece. God, I miss Kid Kash.
SmackDown!: By: "The Whole Geoffin Show" Geoff Eubanks
SmackDown 7.06.06
Okay, we've hit the reset button on SmackDown! (for better and worse), there's a lot to discuss and my sinus infection is making it tough to think, so let's Right to it.
The Right:
Rey Mysterio is coming back – This is great news, because we need upper-tier talent and we need faces BADLY here on Friday nights! Rumor has it Rey's been looking as phenomenal as ever, so hurry home, Rey…just don't bring that Ridiculously hideous Flash costume!
Matt Hardy steps up – There is no bigger Matt Hardy proponent in the IWC than me. Following week after week of fantastic, yet largely unsung performances, it appears as if my wish is beginning to be granted, in that Hardy's singles wins need to start to mean something, lest he be in danger of being relegated to the role of the reliable hand who can just stand by and have a great match with anyone on the roster who needs to look good before moving on and up. Hardy got the clean one-two-three on MVP tonight with The Twist of Fate, following a tough, solid, evenly matched contest that most certainly could have gone either way. Quite frankly, there was more than one occasion I thought MVP was going to take it home, the least of which being that vaunted Yakuza kick and that glorious leaping German suplex off the middle buckle…what did you think of that one, Ron Simmons…? "DAMN!" My sentiments exactly!
Two things that prickled my cactus, though. I realize it's too soon to be mentioning Chris Benoit, certainly. However, as Chris Jericho said on Larry King, and I paraphrase, what Benoit did was absolutely horrific and inexcusable, but it's simply impossible to tell the story of professional wrestling without mentioning him, and I hold up the elevation of MVP as Exhibit A. Michael Cole was doing his best to tell MVP's own story tonight, citing his toughness, how he's built and expanded his game as a result of his wars with Kane and Ric Flair, but it was the UST chase with Benoit that made the huge difference in MVP's performance. I understand, believe me…it chills me to see Benoit's intense stare looking at me from every tabloid on the shelf in the check-out line, but honesty is honesty. Tell the full truth or work around it.
The other is an actual criticism of Matt's performance from his favorite mark, believe it or not. It's not a critical matter, certainly, but it dawned on me watching this match tonight that perhaps Hardy could use one or two new moves in his offensive arsenal, I think. He's got everything completely down pat, a masterful level of experience and psychology a majority of performers with a wealth of offensive maneuvers greatly lack, but it seems to me that perhaps one or two moves to supplant the necessity of doubling up on bulldogs and Side Effects in a :20 match would cement Our Hero Hardy as main event bound?
JBL said tonight as the match unfolded, "You defeat someone in the class of an MVP, you write your own ticket." Let's hope and pray he's Right in Hardy's regard. MVP and Hardy are now 1-1…let's see if we get a prophylactic match for the UST now.
The Celtic Knot versus The Figure-Four – This was glorious, and yet still not absolutely complete, as in, there's a lot more we could see from Ric Flair versus Finlay, and I hope we do. Finlay took Flair out of his game early on, leaving Flair little more offense than a buffet of chops (extra sauce!), a poke to the eye and the Figure-Four, almost out of desperation. I'd love to see these two hook up again now that Flair has experienced the Irish One-Two punch of Finlay and The Little Bastard and see if he can fair any better…plus, these guys are just a fantastic combination in the ring and I think there's a lot more that could be done with them…BOOK IT!
The Silverback continues to bring it – I gotta say, I have no complaints over Mark Henry's taped promo vignettes thus far. He's well-spoken, intense and well, wet. I just wonder which face we have left to feed to him…?
puRgatory:
Edge's big red surprise – So apparently, because Edge got in Vickie's face last week when she forced him to face Batista, Teddy Long, true to character, books a mystery guest for The Cutting Edge for our main event interview, the guest turning out to be none other than Kane. Of course, Teddy and Kristal bail out so they can discuss their cousins Bubba and Ray-Ray (no mention of cousins Dee-Dee and Vaughn, though). Or maybe it was just that Kristal realized that her wig looked like she'd stuck it in the dishwasher after she came home to find her dog fucking it on the floor thinking it was a Pomeranian passed out on roofies. And I'd be remiss if I didn't acknowledge how lovely Vickie looked again tonight in youthful clothes while not looking as if she just came from an audition to be Fergie's back-up dancer. Well done, Vickie!
On the upside, this means that Edge/Batista has finally concluded (and say what you want about the onscreen rivalry, it appears Adam and Dave buddied up off-screen and got matching chin Brazilians), I don't know about Kane getting what Larrold calls his annual Title push. Edge/Kane? Ugh. I genuinely like Kane, but I just don't see it…aren't we supposed to have fresh, new rivalries following the draft? And this is the best the draft has allowed us on SD!? Yeah…Hopefully, this is just a short, three-week feud for THE BASH as we stall for Rey's return.
Oh my God! He killed Kenny! – I could be mistaken, but doesn't wearing a black handkerchief in the back pocket mean one is into gay S&M…? I never really got into that whole subtle advertising thing. I was surprised to see Chuck Palumbo back on SD!, although I'd hardly call this his debut…I mean, didn't he and Kip almost get married in that very ring a few years ago? Wow, he sure is butch now. And now, rumbling to the ring, "Rough Trade" Chuck Palumbo! He's sooo SOMA (I'll be amazed if anyone gets that…hint, it has nothing to do with Johnny Grunge).
Anyway, it's too soon to really judge either of these guys because we've pretty much hit the reset button on the show following the draft and the Benoit tragedy. However I do think it's a mistake putting two new talents on the roster against one another because one has to lose and thus sets a really weak precedent for the guy with the short stick. Personally, I'll always go with the guy who has ability and agility over the one who has the power and the needle in his ass, which is likely why I'm so frequently disappointed with WWE programming. That Fucking Conservative Mike "Papi" LaFave is convinced that this is going to lead to a program, with Kenny Dykstra (can we PLEASE change that name?!) going over Chuck Palumbo: Thunderdome on next week's SD!, leading to a prophylactic match at THE BASH. I say, nice, but one of these guys still has to lose. We'll see.
Oh, yeah, I'm going to officially rename Chuckie's "Full Throttle" finisher "The Grease Monkey". Oh, and, Kenny? Owen Hart called, he said you can have the nose.
Don't miss WWE's Two-for-One Rookie sale – THE MAJOR BROTHERS have a lot going for them: stylized tandem moves, looks, youth…but when the announcers are half-apologetic about how obviously inexperienced they are, there's a problem. Don't get me wRong, I'm all for new blood, young talent and a tag division, but it just seems as if McMahonagement is getting a little desperate to fill the anemic ranks, what with Lenny & Squiggy, Cletus & Bosephus and now a new ROCKERS fuelled by steroids instead of cocaine. As I've said with many of the noobs to whom we get treated on the blue & silver, it seems to me that another six or twelve months in the farm league might not have hurt…But who knows? Maybe they'll be the tag equivalent of MVP and improve at an exponential rate (mutters) and then get moved to Raw as soon as they gather a following…
I'm Darrell…and this is my other brother Darrell – I still refuse to damn Jesse & Festus before I see them in the ring, but considering these vignettes are painting them out to be "The lighter side of THE GODWINNS", I have a bit of a sinking feeling…
I'm Michelle McCool and I may as well be selling tampons – Don't get me wRong, she's cute and all and I'm pleased to see her exhibiting a personality, but I just don't get the point of these vignettes. I'll hang back and not pass judgment, though and see if we're going anywhere with them before I pull out the soapbox.
The wrong:
The Masterpiece-of-shit – Who has Jimmy Wang Yang pissed off?! He goes from pinning Chavo Guerrero cleanly on several occasions in non-title matches, to getting a CWT shot on PPV to jobbing to Masters in a month's time?! PATHETIC. It is reasons such as THIS match tonight that I refuse to get up my hopes for the CW division. You know, it's dawned on me tonight still another manner in which the draft gave SD! a lubeless assfuck…we are now completely heel-heavy. In the singles ranks, we have six faces (and that's counting Eugene and the returning Chuck Palumbo) and eight heels, leaving us completely lop-sided. Therefore, unless we see some face turns soon, WWE is going to be forced to get really creative (make your own joke), and since we couldn't even redeem this abortion of a segment by having Khali, who attacked both The Wanger and my intellect post-match, pounce on Masters, as well. This was CRAP.
The Ridiculous:
Believe it or not, I'm thankful to Khali – Why? Because he nipped Deuce versus Eugene in the bud with his interference in his quest for a BASH opponent. Seriously, WHY is Nick Dinsmore STILL being made to portray this dead character? And why is he being made to slum to garbage like our tag "champions"? And, furthermore, why was there no bruising or anything on Domino's face?! I want carnage, dammit!
Mae Young with her legs open – That's how ugly Batista versus Khali is going to be. I'll grant McMahonagement, they did a nice job in setting up Khali as he searched for an opponent, randomly attacking people in the arena and backstage, but I liked it better the first time when Undertaker did it back in the Ministry of Darkness days. And look! Batista's been shopping on Bluefly.com again and forgetting that the suits don't come with shirts. Nice shades, though. I'm making a bold prediction here and now…Big Dave tears a muscle trying to Batista Bomb Khali and hangs up his boots for good. Or Khali kills him.
By the way, I think I've finally figured out Khali's origin. On her hotel room wrestling tour of India, Nicole Bass thought she simply wasn't adjusting to the curry, and settled in to spend some quality time on the commode. However, what she thought was poo was actually Bruiser Brody's near-stillborn love child. She wrapped it in a pillowcase, dumped it down the trash chute and voila! Here we have Khali. Thanks, Nicole, you tweek-eyed freak. God bless Brody, though…he was borrowing Stan Hanson's glasses and thought Nicole was Missy Hyatt.
Thank God for the Draft – I mean, otherwise, we'd likely never have seen Torrie versus Victoria. This is stupid. If the point of the draft was to move around talent to offer fresh situations and programs, why hook up two former Raw Divas now that they're on SD!? Furthermore, Victoria can wrestle, Torrie can't. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Remember people, show Geoff some love by emailing him here: yostankmama@hotmail.com
RAW!:
RAW 7.02.07:
The Right:
The Bull of the Woods…if you will… - As promised Dusty Rhodes made his way to the ring this week on Raw and he called out young Randall K. Orton for his disrespect. Orton came out and discussed how he had here the rhetoric that Dusty was spilling a hundred times already, and said Dusty was living in the past. He said he retired people and when Dusty tried to talk, Orton looked away and Dusty got pissed and yelled, "LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!" Orton then got pissed and told Dusty to man up and face him at the PPV he built, The Great American bash! Dusty said that he is not in ring shape, and wanted to back out and then Orton threatened the career of young Cody and the Dream accepted and made it a bullrope match! Cody then rushed down, started off with Orton and slapped the bitch out of Orton. That worked for me. This is great because it pays off with Dusty creating the Bash AND the bullrope match they have on the DVD with Superstar. People will get this hopefully and it should work very well, I wanted a BUNKHOSUE BRAWL so that I could hear him use the "Bull of the Woods" line, but this is cool. Now a lot of people are expecting a Cody heel turn, I don't know, I wouldn't do that right off. It is a shame Cowboy Bob has HEP C because they could do Orton vs. Dusty, transition to Dusty and Cody vs. Bob and Randy and then finally transition into Cody vs. Orton. A lot like as I said last week, kind of like when they brought Dustin in. It will be interesting to see where it goes, is it too soon for Cody to be brought up? Maybe, we'll find out soon enough. But with the American Dream returning to the Bash, I am now officially excited. It may very well suck, but Dusty promos are money so at least the build will kick ass. More Dusty on TV please, as I have been saying for a long while.
Umaga kills Santino again…and then Santino tries to get some p00n! - Umaga killed Santino again this week. This made me happy. Santino will go down as one of the worst IC champs in history, he sucked a cock. Umaga killed him good again and that made me a happy camper. Also after the loss Maria is consoling him, and he is all-smooth and like, "I shouldn't be alone tonight…I have leg cramps and need you to rub them out…I can show you how to make a snake spit." Ah yes, now we get to see Santino and his Russ-alian accent hit on her, but at least he is away from the IC Title. This is all oddly entertaining. Viva Uuuuuuuuuumaga!
An interesting turn in the ladies division, and they remembered shit from long ago! - We were going to have some ladies tag team action this week, Candice and Mickie (Hot Hot Hot) vs. Jillian and Melina. Unfortunately Melina was injured, but she had a replacement, a god friend to here and Mickie, The "Glamazon" Beth Phoenix. They actually remembered shit from HOW long ago? Holy hell that is a nice thing to behold and I thank them for that. Sure their roles as far as faces and heels are reversed, but it is fine. I will also say that Beth looks better than I remember, so yay there! The match was fine stuff and they are looking to actually do something it appears. I refuse to get my hopes up though, as they need to expand still, but this is a good start. I approve.
puRgatory:
The World's Gayest Tag Team? Also the Dervish rolls on… - Backstage Charlie Haas was harassing Shelton for kissing the hand of King Booker last week. They bantered back and forth and eventually they made a bet that if Shelton lost, he would kiss Charlie on the lips. Yes, that is incredibly gay no matter what anyone says. Shelton has a fun match with London and loses, so now he has to smooch with Chuckles Haas. Shelton then tried to get out of the deal, and Haas said he could kiss his hand. Shelton got way to excited and Haas then said he was kidding, and they had a long, tight, loving embrace. Ron Simmons came in and, you know.
In tribute, I have a little song for them:
I've got jungle fever, he's got jungle fever
We've got jungle fever, we're in love
He's gone black-boy crazy, I've gone white-boy hazy
Ain't no thinking maybe, we're in love
He's got jungle fever, I've got jungle fever
We've got jungle fever, we're in love
I've gone white-boy crazy, he's gone black-boy hazy
We're each others baby, we're in love!
I await emails telling me I am a gay basher and a racist….NOW!
Elsewhere in the tag team division the Redneck Whirling Dervish rolle don as they defeated the Highlanders. They are looking good and are still getting "decent" reactions with out the Hardy's. They just need to keep giving them time on TV and mic time to keep this momentum up, and it should be fine.
The Coach vs. Regal dynamic, and Regal vs. Sandman… - Coach returned this week and I liked the dynamic between he and Regal. Regal is Regal and hence awesome, saying he enjoyed doing the job and Coach is great as the paranoid guy wanting to keep his job, so he makes a match for Regal against the Sand…Man. So Regal and Sandman had a match, it was perversely entertaining for what it was and Regal wins by DQ as Sandman used his cane. This was fine, but it looks to play into the Carlito vs. Sandman feud, which is boring me due to Carlito and his lameness. Also I really wish they would decide on some direction for Regal. Either as the talking commissioner deal or in the ring and go with it, that really frustrates me.
The opener/main event stuff - Raw kicked off with Lashley vs. King BOOKAH! This wasn't a match though as it only went a bit over 3-minutes. They are clearly protecting King Booker and you'll see in the main event, but also here as he kicked out of the Lashley powerslam. A lot of people have fallen to that move, so for the King to kick out is a sing of protecting him. Kennedy would run down and they would make the main event Kennedy and Booker vs. Lashley and a partner of his choosing, which we will discuss decisions later on in the column. He chose Jeff Hardy, the people popped, they had a fine match and Lashley pinned Kennedy and got to play pretend star while Cena was gone. It was fine.
The wRong:
Snitsky vs. Crazy - Wow they totally jacked the Super Crazy win from last week. This was pretty damn stupid I thought. You have him beat Kennedy in seconds, and then instead of some good follow up, they have him job to Snitsky, and I mean JOB hard. They had things set up perfectly to have Lashley choose him as the partner for the main event and you know, make him seem IMPORTANT! But fuck that, why try to make a star or make people care about the talent, let's just job him to the useless piece of shit with the foot fetish. So frustrating. Add on top of that the beat down he took and a hell of an evening for the Crazy Luchadore. At least they kind of pretended he was important there.
The Ridiculous:
Kennedy is still a bitch… - And just like last week, Ken Kennedy looked so much like a bitch. He loses last week, presumably because he couldn't wrestle, so I said WHY have him out there then if they were going to do that. Now they have the PERFECT chance to involve Crazy in this with Cena gone, and they blow that out of the water as I touched on. NOW they have Jeff Hardy out there, nowhere near the main event and we all think, here's Kennedy's win and re-launch of his momentum. NO WAY. Nope, he loses to Crazy and then in the big tag team main event this week, guess who does the job? Not Lashley, he has a title match soon. Not King Booker, not Jeff Hardy who means nothing in the concept of the main event scene. Nope, good old ken Kennedy jobs again and looks like a bitch. Great job fellows, just stupendous. Again, I HATE this move to Raw thus far. They took possibly the HOTTEST guy in the company, threw away his BIG return angle with Edge and sent him to Raw, and outside of the awesome promo he had the other week, he is now just another dork. That's it, nothing else people, he's just another dork on the roster. Excellent work assholes. I didn't think you could fuck this one up but again you proved me wrong, here's you gold star AND a cookie. That's extra credit for extra stupidity.
Fuck, I mean, there are times when I really try to dissect the WWE booking and…
and…
and…
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…
ECW on Sci-Fi!:
ECW 7.03.07:
The Right:
Well look there, acknowledging the old ECW isn't that bad, now is it? - For the longest time I said that if they wanted to make any of the ECW Originals seem important in order to put over new and or younger talent that they would have to bite the bullet and show some old footage of these stars in order to make an audience that doesn't care or doesn't know about these guys. Up until now they have never really done this, and while this wasn't as good as it could have been, this was good stuff. It showed that Dreamer was a bad-ass dude and that he has that never say never attitude. Between this and the announcing by Tazz and Styles to emphasize these points, I thought that this went a long way in helping the match and making Dreamer seem important, which is good for him and in turn Nitro.
Nitro vs. Dreamer II - Now after last week's Dreamer vs. Nitro match, they decided are match was in order. In actuality this is a fine idea because Nitro needs solid wins behind him since he was on a losing stride on Raw before coming over, and as the champion he has to build a base of credibility. As noted above the match last week and video package this week went a long way to do that, even before the match began. They had a fine match; nothing you'll look back on as a pivotal match in Nitro's career, but right then it played a role in his development. But this was solid, entertaining stuff and all in all good stuff. I liked the ending with the drop toehold into the chair. They tried to make it meant something. While it came off as anti-climatic, due to it being a prop in Raven matches for the better part of a decade and a half, I am all for making shit mean something so that when you do something like that, eventually it becomes believable as a pin or eventually great near fall. Finally, while I fully agree with JD Dunn and others that while Nitro needs more character development and depth, this was good because it showed that "the pretty boy" could take the beating and survive in the "old ECW" environment. Well, as close to that environment as we'll get. He'll need moments like this, even though it is a small thing to help people get into him and start to truly hate him.
puRgatory:
…Now introducing, Big Daddy V - ECW kicked off this week with Matt Striker giving the Boogeyman a lecture. Yup, he called him out to the ring and had an example/appetizer prepared for him, a lot of worms. Striker was lecturing him and said he was basically a piece of shit, and that he would pay for what he had done to him. He then proceeded to introduce BIG DADDY V. The man formerly known as Mable, Nelson knight, Viscera, Big Vis, The World's Largest Love Machine re-debuted with the company, and wow was this a night that no one will forget. The rumor had been that they would bring him back with a makeover and make him into a 2007 Version of the One Man Gang. I was honestly all right with this, and if we can get past this shit feud with Boogey will continue to be all for it. He came out sporting the biggest man titties since Abdullah The Butcher, and actually had a very Abby Look to him. And really, it is a big change and I am fine with it. He came out and killed Boogeyman and that was that. I really think pushing him as a fucking crazed new wave Abby would kick ass though, and would have a ton of potential. Have him pull knux and forks from under his man titties, smother guys under there…I kid, but really, push him as an Abby type crazy ass brawler and let's see what happens. Right now it appears as if Striker will be his manager, and I am VERY fine with this. Striker, in my opinion isn't a good in the ring as a lot of the other younger guys, but damn if he cannot talk. Right now this is the perfect role for him, so good deal. The one thing that makes me a bit sad here is this, this is just another big guy getting their 13th new gimmick and renewed push, which is disappointing when you think of all the guys that never got a second chance and really should have because they aren't big. As long as you are big, you always have a job with Vince.
Balls vs. Young Elijah - Young Elijah was back on ECW TV this week to battle Ballington Mahoney. They had a match, it was fine really, and that's the best description. Ballinton is pretty over still and goes out there and works hard. Young Elijah is out there to prove that he should be a part of rebuilding ECW. This was fine, Young Elijah looked good and they really need to do something with he and Marcus either together or separately. It doesn't have to be the major push right now or anything like that, but just an angle to make people care about the guy. This was a fine rebound win for Young Elijah, his push has been dropped due to the New Breed dissolving and the Benoit situation having them refocus on Punk and Nitro.
The Miz Debuts - The Miz debuted this week, in ring wise on ECW TV and well, it was fine. They had the Extreme Expose falling all over him before the match and I suppose he is going from reality reject to ladies man, or something. The match was against Nunzio, who is becoming ECW's solid hand. The guy that will go out and have a good match with anyone when called upon, you need those guys ; although it is a shame he'll never get anything else. But the match was fine, nobody cared all that much and the Miz won with "generic finisher #1" a neck breaker variation, the Mizard of Oz/Reality Check. But there is something to think about angle wise here, the Extreme Expose is totally infatuated with him right? Does no one remember when Layla HATED the Miz? The birthday prank with BFNOG? Where is the continuity? Oh yeah, they fired the editor. ARGH! Also, is he supposed to be a heel or a face? Fuck if I know, blah.
The wRong:
NADDA~!
The Ridiculous:
AGAIN! - Stevie vs. Punk…AGAIN? A-FUCKING-GAIN? Lord this infuriates me to NO end. I have talked about this exact thing NUMEROUS times, as well as Dreamer vs. Thorn. This shit is killing me, and another reason ECW could have used another body or two in the draft. They are recycling the same matches over, and over, and over again and it is driving me insane, handicap match insane people. I beg of the lack of creative team to wake up and do something to change this because it is to the point that I am done discussing it because it makes me angry. The GOOD news I would say is that this was a damn fine little match. They work well together and what is sad is that Stevie is looked at like the total job guy and will never get anything better while he shows that he is totally capable of so much more. This was a really fu match and Stevie looked great and even broke out the KOJI CLUTCH! Much respect Stevie, I am sorry that you are stuck in Jobber's Groundhog Day. Stevie is REALLY the Val Venis of ECW. The guy that always has good matches, is very reliable and will never get the chance at a push. Such a shame.
The Newly Franchised Naturals w/"The Franchise" Shane Douglas - I was going to lump this in with the tag team madness below, but since they have invested so much time into this, I figured that I could do the same. I am a big fan of this storyline, as I am apparently one of the only fans the Naturals have. They were obviously floundering, and many months ago I stated that they not only needed to be used better, but SHOULD be used better as they were a great part of the TNA tag division. They opted for a losing streak angle, and Shane Douglas was going to come to the rescue. He told them that under Chris Candido that they were champions, but since his passing, they became a joke. He promised to bring them back to the top, for his "little brother" Candido, and to make them stars again. He took them off of TV, and for a few weeks we got training vignette's featuring Shane Douglas almost killing them and tearing them down to build them back up.
He then said that they would re-debut at the Victory Road PPV to avenge their loss to the DITR, and to get back onto the right track. The DITR came to the ring (Simon Diamond looked so much better in a suit by the way, more of a James J. Dillon look) and then Shane Douglas followed. First I will say that the "ECW/Dick Flair" remarks by Douglas were totally unneeded, and it added nothing to his promo and in all reality had nothing to do with it, so there was the one thing I hated. That being said, he came out and put over the team, the training and then unveiled "The Newly Franchised Naturals." They dropped the old music and had a new theme, which begins with the opening riff of "Perfect Strangers," the longtime theme of Douglas. They switched to the short box tights again, with the Franchise logo on them and slightly shorter hair. They had a solid match, nothing special, but they looked good and even debuted a new finisher (the powerbomb/missile dropkick combo.) I loved the end, as The Newly Franchised Naturals were all happy with their win and looked for approval from The Franchise, who had nothing but a verbal beating for them; explaining that one win isn't anything and they still had a lot of work to do. This angle is great, and I am totally into it.
Promo Time: Christian, Steiner, Kevin Nash - One thing TNA does seem to do on PPV, is when they do let guys have promo time, it is usually good stuff and this month was no different. Besides Shane Douglas' short promo I discussed above, three men really stuck out to me on the show.
First out of the gates was Christian Cage. He said that "the old Christian" might have been lost but that he was back. He said Steiner had no heart, which is why he relied on the tattoo on his chest. He got a fat joke on Joe, saying that he always wanted to finish your fries. And finally he got the dig in on Sting, that he looks good and all of that, but in the end he was like expired milk; way past it's expiration date. This was a really good promo and added to the dram and build for the #1 contender's match later in the night.
Second was Scott Steiner. Scott Steiner is a GAWD among men I tell you. He shit on Joe is so brutal, and so damn hilarious. He said that Joe should hate his parents for "giving him the fat cell along with their X and Y chromosomes." He then said he had a plan to defeat Joe, a trail of donuts, because Joe can't resist a "Creamy Crust" donut. GLORIOUS, THIS MAN RULES! He then called Christian "Stick man," told him to eat a steak and then to go back to Canada, or "Mexico North" as he calls it. Steiner has been awesome on the mic since his return to TNA, and I am so glad I didn't give up right away, yet gave him a chance. He has been tremendous.
Finally there was the greatness of Kevin Nash doing promos. He mocked Hogan, proclaimed his greatness in beating Bob Backlund in 8-seconds and was just Kevin Nash, which is hilarious. The only bad thing about all of this, he ISN'T A HEEL HERE and the opponents get the heat, not him.
LAX vs. Dutt and Killings - This right here was your match of the night kids. They opened up hot doing some crazy dives, including Killings almost pulling off a great looking Sasuke special. The LAX had to step it up here, because there is so much potential, but thus far haven't done anything of note. They stepped it up, both men, and looked great. Homicide finally got to be unleashed and looked great, and Hernandez held up his part too. The finish was so impressive, as he has Dutt up for a Razor's Edge, and just TOSSED him across the ring, killing young Sonjay. Just a great tag team match, and the only complaint I have is I would have loved to see them get 2 more minutes or so, but the match was great and this was the definition of total nonstop action.
Tag Team Madness! - I cannot stress enough how on fire the TNA tag division is becoming yet again. This show was a perfect example of this, as the show could have easily been named "Tag Team Madness." Five of the nine matches were tag team matches, and they were good ones at that. If you have been reading my columns you would know that I am a big lover of tag team wrestling, going back to the old NWA days. I just felt that I should once again praise the TNA tag division, and once again, let's look at the teams that we have.
Damn that is hot, 10-teams! You have the known teams of James Gang and 3D, the TNA born teams, work rate teams, mixed teams. You really have something for everyone, and that is a very important thing to have.
Sting's Road to Victory - They went old school with this match, as early on, a "Cameraman" sprayed Sting in the eyes with "gasoline." This man was actually JJ, trying to screw Sting out of his title shot, why? Because he is a chicken shit heel, that's why. So with Sting gone, we got a 3-way match. The three guys worked really good together, and they even did a spot where Steiner jumped off the apron and put Joe through a table with an elbow drop, bringing some blood from Joe. As they continued to brawl, THE MUMMY (~!) aka Sting all wrapped up on the head returned and started back into the match. In the end, Steiner tossed Joe and Cage, and that allowed Sting to get the death drop and the pin; along with the title shot next month. The best part was that Steiner took the fall. This is fine because Steiner didn't lose one on one, and it secures a match up there. Sting also didn't beat Cage or Joe, and when Cage turns, there is a singles match there, as well as one with Joe down the line. This is good for the long term, and builds to the big JJ vs. Sting singles match they have wanted all along. I also need to compliment Scott Steiner once again, who has been nothing but great in his TNA run thus far, and who has done the job with no complaints. Great job Scott, and I am glad to see you back.
puRgatoRy:
Rhino vs. Monty Brown - Now I know that I said in the round table that I could understand then booking a no-finish in the match here. They are pushing both men as monsters, and are probably pushing both of them in the coming months. But, the fact of the matter is that you shouldn't book yourself into a corner like that. That is once again TNA's problem that they have with parity booking. On the bright side, the brawl was great and was very heated, the crowd loved it and it was executed very well. But, I still feel the need to have it here in puRgatoRy.
Kazarian returns - I for one am so glad that Kazarian is back with TNA. I was a big fan of his and think that he brings a lot to the table, whether in the X-Division or Tag Team Division. He has worked with most of the X-Guys, and had a nice run with Bentley as a tag team, which melded really well but were underutilized in mine and many others opinion. Having him back strengthens the roster, and that is nothing but a good thing. They also held him a secret; many guessed it would be him but it wasn't confirmed until the day of the show that it was him returning. He looked great in his return as he and Senshi had a very good athletic contest as is expected. That was the good news.
Here is the bad, something that I have had to say all too often in the past weeks with TNA and will discuss in response to an email below. They bring him back, they try to make it important and he loses. He loses. Having him lose his debut in such a clean loss; it totally derails him from the get go, and that isn't a good sign. In the end, the thing is that he lost and we already have no reason to care about him already. This was just bad booking here, very WWE-like on Raw, which I complain about so it is only fair to do so here…again. Why not debut him on the pre-show? Why not shoot an angle where he cuts a promo and asks Bentley to reform the team? Instead you waste a title match with no build, and shoot him in the foot at the same time.
In the end the one thing that Tenay said helped matters, "Kazarian has been away from the X-Division for a year, and he just learned that the level of competition is much higher than it has even been." That was good because it put Senshi and the entire division over, and in my opinion really helped take away the negatives that I discussed above. Good work from the professor here, way to save a segment.
The wRong:
Raven vs. Larry - First of all let me say that Raven, from a selling a psychology standpoint is still a great worker. He sold the legwork Larry did, even after the match. Secondly, let me say that Larry Z was in great shape for his age, sold well and overall wasn't bad. He took 2 DDT's and sold then like a CHAMP I say. That all being said it was bad, very bad. Raven resembles Rikishi more than himself these days, and the more I think about it, and trust me, I know he has been sick, I just want him to retire and commentate or make more awesome shoot and Secrets of the Ring DVD's. As I watched this, I felt bad for him. I hope that he is healthy with his medication, but he must have to work or something because I can't imagine wanting to continue looking like that. He is not only still overweight, but looks like he is older than Larry Z. It was brutal folks. I did like the psychology they used and all, and the fact that they paid off on the storyline and did the hair cutting, but it didn't need to be here, not with raven in his condition; and I say that as a Raven fan. In the end I appreciate a long-term storyline, when you take into account Raven's health and Larry's age; and then ask yourself, "Did this sell any PPV buys" and you will know that this shouldn't have been on the PPV.
A little too much - While I appreciate getting my money's worth from a PPV, and with the pre-show there were 10-matches, this is an instant of TNA putting too much on one of their shows. While 10-matches sound great, #1 you burn out the fans, #2 you shorten all the matches and #3 in the end, while you are trying to give your fans something special, you really take away from what you want them to have.
There were two matches that easily could have benefited from a few more minutes in my opinion.
First of all was the opening tag match. They felt rushed, and since it was the debut of the "Newly Franchised Naturals," they wanted to impress, the DITR want to impress to climb the card; and while it was a solid match, there was just too much miscommunication. Give them 2-minutes, allow them to do the same match without the added pressure of cramming shit in, and you have a much better match.
Second was the LAX vs. Dutt and Killings match. While it was the match of the night, it is the same thing as above. There was some spots that were really rushed, and yes it was a really good match, but give them 2-minutes, allow them to do the same match without the added pressure of cramming shit in, and you have a much better match, which all things considered, would have resulted in closer to a 4* match in my opinion.
Now with those matches expanded, and cutting out one match; for our purposes we'll say the Hair vs. Hair match, the PPV becomes less rushed, match quality goes up and the show improves and everyone is still happy.
The Ridiculous:
Team Canada's Good-Bye - Here is the problem with this deal here, it was a TV follow up angle, not a PPV angle. This could have been done on Impact this past week to follow up the "All or Nothing" match from the week before. But instead, they wasted precious PPV time for this deal (over 12-minutes); and that is the problem with D'Amore on the creative team that we have discussed for a while now. Hopefully now he will be just on the creative team (I doubt it) and will focus on that instead of being a TV character. Hell, I like D'Amore as a manager and a character, but he cannot do both without compromising things, so this is all for the best. And then they go through and D'Amore says his good-bye's to all of the guys, and puts them all over, except for Young. All of the guys ignored Young and then D'Amore then blamed him for the team breaking up. D'Amore then kicked him out of a team that had already been disbanded! How does that work? The good thing is that the crowd LOVES him and is on his side, and as long as they are in Orlando, he will be a HUGE baby face. They chanted, "Don't fire Eric and we will save you!" Now Eric Young is FN great, and this was great, but again, needed to be on TV. Finally, they had NINE MATCHES n this show, you did not need an over 12-minute interview segment for a group of, for now, mid-card guys! Usually TNA has a great sense of how to use their time, but this was not one of those times. Plain and simple this was poor planning folks, and people don't want huge interview segments like this on PPV, unless it is a huge debut or return of a major star, not a mid-card act at best; and this is from someone who loves D'Amore and most of the Team Canada guys.
Closing Thoughts: Overall an enjoyable PPV from TNA, which is standard really. The one thing that I will say is that while their recent PPV's have been "good" recently, they haven't had a blow away show like they were doing this time last year. Things are good, but when they had the "great PPV's" and if you missed it, you could tell your pals and I could tell you guys, "GET THE REPLAY! SO AND SO vs. SO AND SO WAS OFF THE HOOK!" But now, I can't say to order the show or you missed something. If you want a night of little bullshit and really solid and fun wrestling, order the show and have a blast. But there were no MOTY candidates or storylines that will survive the years coming from the show. I will go 6.9 out of 10. While there was nothing blow away, the card was really solid and I don't think anyone would feel ripped off of a night of solid in ring action.
READER FEEDBACK/RANTS~!
My boy Dan from Brooklyn is back -
I watched SD the other night, the first WWE I have watched since the Benoit situation and something occurred to me after watching Matt Hardy beat MVP. Is there a legit chance of Matt Hardy becoming the World Champion. The timing needed would be perfect. It is July and Matt has been steadily pushed as a singles wrestler on SD for months with victories over all the mid carders and almost level main eventers like Finlay, MVP and Kennedy. Now that the Hardys tag team is completely over and he just beat the US Champ in a non-title match, I figure it could break like this:
July - September (GAB, Summerslam, Unforgiven) : feud with MVP over the US Title including a title reign and finally losing it back in a gimmick match. Edge feuds with Kane, and Rey Mysterio.
October - December (No Mercy, Survivor Series, Armageddon) : feud with top heels leading to tag matches and classic Survivor Series match with other top faces (Rey, Kane, maybe Taker). Edge battles with Undertaker, losing the title at Armageddon in HIAC.
January - March (Rumble, No Way Out, WM 24) : finish in final 4 of Rumble, win tournament to face World Champ at WM. Edge wins back World Title from Taker at Rumble in TLC match. Matt faces Edge for the World Heavyweight Title at WM 24.
I know it's Matt Hardy and the WWE will probably go another way but I think the heat and build for a Matt Hardy vs. Edge WM Title match can be huge, especially if they can bring Lita back for it.
From William on a few things from last week -
UUUUUUUUUUUUUMAGA~! - We had a Vengeance rematch this week of Santino vs. Umaga, and Santino was sent to the slaughter. Umaga killed this young man and good, and took the IC Title, the way it should be because Santino sucked a cock. I just hope that Umaga gets an actual run and runs through bitches left and right and gets built up and if he keeps doing as well as he had, I have no problem with another main event push and or possible title run. This was fine entertainment. And on a closing note, and don't put this past the E and Vince, but do you think that burying the Italian guy was a shot at Italian TV for pulling WWE programming? Oh yeah. We may never see young Santino again, and I am fine with that.
As soon as I read last week that the broadcasting in Italy fell through, I knew Santino was a marked man! Once that match was booked on Monday I knew Santino was already packing for warm weather. Pretty soon, Santino and Mike Knox will be working matches down in Tampa.
Been there, done that… - You know, when Raw began I had this Déjà Vu feeling, like we had been there before. Yes I do remember it was Cena, Lashley, Booker, Orton and Foley. Except this time playing the role of Mick Foley was Ken Kennedy. There was nothing inherently wrong with the opening segment, it gave everyone mic time; it set the stage for the show as well as set the main event for the next PPV. That is always a good thing, but as I said it just seemed as if we had been there and done this. Even Cena's line about, "I know how this goes" made me laugh since it is the truth. So anyway, good deal setting things up but I wish we could get there a different way than the same old shit.
Woops, one more e-mail! I agree, this was too similar to the RAW that setup the Night of Champions Main Event, BUT, it was entertaining for the most part. RAW hasn't had this many Main Event personalities on the microphone in years! Call me crazy, but when RAW was in it's prime, as a fan you'd pretty much have to tune into the first 10-15 minutes of the show! The opening segments of trash talk, run-ins, and alliances always set the tone for the show. They've been really lacking in that department for years, but it seems they've finally fixed the problem!
