The Fink's Payload 7.16.07: The Return of Rey Mysterio - Part 1
Posted by Halden, Adamson and Wilcox on 07.16.2007
This Payload boggled our collective minds, and we have a special guest.
Matt: Welcome to another edition of The Fink's Payload. This week, readers wrote in their ideas for the return of Rey Mysterio. I'm Matt Adamson, guru. I'll now allow my colleagues to introduce themselves. Rob Halden was unable to join us this week so I've asked another 411 writer to step in for him.
J.T.: That's right kids. When they were down a man, they knew they could call upon the man who is just lazy enough to only participate in multi-person columns where someone else does all the work and I give some filler. I love it!
Dan: Hi. If you don't know me by now…
Matt: Last week we gave you all the task of booking the return of Rey Mysterio. Let's kick this baby off with a submission from Christopher Alden.
Teddy Long comes out on Smackdown to introduce Rey Mysterio. Rey thanks the fans for their support through this trying time in his career, and announces that he will be returning to the ring next week, right here on... and right then, "No Chance" hits. Vince McMahon comes out, accompanied by Chavo Guerrero. Vince spends a little time building up Mysterio, and whetting the fans' appetite for his return... only to dash their hopes by saying it's not going to happen, since Chavo filed a formal protest with the Board of Directors (after all, Rey is banned from Smackdown due to a stipulation from the "I Quit" match). Vince and Chavo mock Rey as he walks out, dejected, even going so far as to sing the "Na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye" song to him.
The next Tuesday night, on ECW, ECW champ Johnny Nitro is announced to be facing a mystery opponent tonight, with the title on the line. And, surprise of surprises, it's Rey Mysterio! Unfortunately, not only does Rey not win the title, thanks to interference from Vince and Chavo, but he suffers a humiliating post-match beatdown by the three heels and gets his mask stolen. He desperately covers his face with his forearms as ECW goes off the air.
The next week, Rey comes out in a different mask, and talks about how Vince has humiliated him three times now -- first, ruining his visit back with Smackdown in the run-up to Wrestlemania, and now these latest two incidents. Of course, Vince doesn't hold a monopoly on humiliating people -- heck, Vince even suffered the worst humiliation of his life back at Wrestlemania, when Donald Trump shaved his head. And Vince's hair has grown back nicely since then, hasn't it? Rey goes on to say that, at Summerslam, he wants to settle the score the way they did back in Mexico: a Mascara contra Caballera match, mask vs. hair, where one of them will be able to deliver the final humiliation to the other! All he has to do is sign on the dotted line, and once Rey beats Chavo... Vince comes out and says, no, he's learned his lesson: "If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself." He'll take Rey's challenge, but he himself will step in the ring to defend his hair, and it will be extreme rules!
Summerslam comes around, and Rey finds himself in a 3-on-1 affair, as without the rules to keep them at bay, both Chavo and Nitro run constant interference. Regardless, though, Rey Mysterio simply will not stay down, and manages to persevere long enough for Vince's henchmen to make a critical mistake, giving Rey the opportunity he needs to claim a victory! Vince tries to escape, but Tommy Dreamer and Balls Mahoney cut him off at the pass, and Vince's head is shaved once more.
Where do we go from here? Either we can move Chavo to ECW and continue the Rey/Chavo feud, or we can move Rey into a feud with Nitro (either with or without the title involved; if we want to keep Rey out of the title picture a little longer, Summerslam's the perfect time to move the belt to Punk). Either way, he'd make a great addition to the ECW roster, very able to fill the void left by the loss of Rob Van Dam and... you know who (honestly, I don't even want to see his name anymore these days).
Matt: I really believe that Rey would make a tremendous addition to the ECW roster and that is where I truly believe he should be. However, I'm not terribly thrilled with some of your other ideas. Why have Vince McMahon back on TV doing basically the same thing he's been doing for the last 6 years? We don't need anymore of the status quo. Remove Vince and his henchmen and keep the chief players in your idea and it's great, but why Vince?
Dan: It's a shame that you've caught me on a bad day because I'm
going to be brutally honest. Someone has to be while Rob is away. I disliked
your idea in every way possible, apart from moving Rey to ECW. You bring
Vince back to do the same shit he's been doing for the last half decade, the
same shit he was doing 2 MONTHS AGO with Bobby Lashley. Additionally, you're
continuing the Rey/Chavo feud that was finished last year and should stay
finished. It was bad back then so it won't be any better this time around.
And to top all of that you've made the ECW Champion Vince McMahon's personal
bitch. And would people care if Vince lost his hair again? I wouldn't.
We saw that less than 6 months ago. It's already lost its effect. Other
than that, it's fine.
J.T.: Well, we already know that they wanted at least one main-event caliber veteran on the ECW roster to help all of the young talented superstars they have there. Unfortunately, that hasn't been working out for them lately. One left the company, the other was traded to SmackDown, and the third is no longer alive. Moving Rey over there makes perfect sense – both storyline wise (the ban from SmackDown) and booking wise. For one, most of the ECW roster is composed with smaller guys who are unbelievably athletic (Burke, Nitro, Punk, etc), and because of that Mysterio could really shine in feuds with those guys. He was also a world champion, and while his title run was booked like shit, the fact is he is still in the record books and therefore lends some credibility to the ECW title if he wins it. I see no reason he can be inserted into whatever plan they have for Benoit on that show.
Matt: P-Kon returns with his ideas.
The Great American Bash: Promos have been running for rey Rey's return and he finally does, at the GAB. He does it in promo form and he says how glad he is to be back and then says that now, more than ever, his goal is to be World Champion again. Hooray.
Road to Summerslam: Vicki announces an 8 man tournament to name the new number one contender. Matt Hardy, MVP, Ric Flair, Finlay, Kane, Mark Henry, Chris Masters, and REY MYSTERIO! Round one sees Rey def. Masters, Hardy def. MVP, Henry over Kane, and Flair def. Finlay. Then Henry, while not known for his sense of humor will poke fun at Batista for being a moron and losing his last chance match.
Second Round: Henry over Hardy and Flair over Mysterio (due to a misfire interference by Finlay). Third round has Batista cost Henry because of more ribbing by the wet man and Flair goes on to face Edge at SS and Hardy meets MVP for the US title as well. But Rey now has unfinished business with Finlay.
Face to Face: Rey expresses his anger at the fact that he was cheated out of his match by Finlay. Saying that he had hoped to come back and make a big splash, but thanks to Finaly it will only be a ripple. Finlay comes out and says that if he has a problem, rather than stand there and complain he should call him out like a man. Rey says that Finlay was getting ahead of him and that there were a few things he needed to say before he did that, and since he was already out there he might as well say it to his face. So Rey throughs a couple of insults or bad character traits or whatever you want to call them and finlay looks as if he is going to hit him. Rey says that if he had his way, he would get to beat the hell out of him at Summerslam. Finlay has had enough and backs Rey down, then puts his hands up in peace and says to let him think about it. He rolls out of the ring and Little Bastard climbs in and takes out rey's knee with the sheleliegh. Beat down on rey and Finlay accepts, if Rey can even make it to SS.
Week before Summerslam: Finlay requests a match for the night, that match being Rey vs. Little Bastard with Finaly as the referee. So they have the match which is mainly Finlay beating up rey until Rey makes a comeback and Finlay picks up Bastard and tries to escape over the 2nd rope. rey comes in with a 619 to both at the same time and a springboard body splash for the pin. Another ref comes out to count it since finlay is down. Finlay recovers and another beatdown on Rey. He targets the knee again.
Sumerslam: Finlay and Rey square off in a 1-on-1 match up. Finlay works the knee for the majority of the match but Rey comes back. He dodges interference by LB and picks up the win over Finlay.
In a perfect world this would help Finlay and Rey, but on SD! no one can really afford a loss. But Rey should be kept away from the title, at least at first. Edge and rey will definitely draw for the title and i see it taking place around Armageddon cause that is usually a less noticed show and that will add interest. Although it could work for mania, which would give time for the Hardy/Edge feud most of us want. And maybe a title trade!!
Matt: I agree with keeping Rey away from the title and having him work with Finlay. It would likely allow for some really fun matches. Another thing I like about your idea is Rey vs. Little Bastard (thanks for using the correct name). That would be comedy wrestling at it's finest.
Dan: I'd rather Rey Rey get his title shot out of the way at
Summerslam so he can go back to being a upper-mid carder after that. I don't
remember Mysterio vs. Finlay being that good in 2006 so I'm not overly
enthusiastic to see it again.
J.T.: I too like the idea of keeping him both on SmackDown and away from the title. Him and Finlay could do themselves a lot of favors by hooking up for a good feud that gets them both back to top tier status. Although, for kicks and giggles, if he were healthy, I would have Holly replace Masters because dammit, I miss that man!
Matt: Fink's reader Reichou chimed in with his thoughts.
Rey returns to Smackdown, cutting a promo about how glad he is to be back,
etc... At the end of the promo, Rey begins to leave the ring when Chavo's
music hits. Before Chavo can say a word, Rey tells him that he spent months
at home, in agony, rehabbing his injury and dreaming of different painful
ways to exact revenge. Rey says that as long as Chavo is out here, nothing
would make his return sweeter than getting some payback right now. As the
crowd cheers for the big fight they're expecting, Chavo stands on the stage,
begins to cry, goes backstage, and leaves the arena.
Rey wins a squash match that week, and then the next week, he has another
weak opponent. During the match, Chavo comes down the ramp, watches the
match for a few seconds, and then leaves through the crowd. Later in the
program, Chavo is scheduled to defend his Cruiserweight title, but he
no-shows the match. Backstage, Teddy Long confronts Vickie, asking her what
the Hell is going on. Vickie says that Chavo is going through some hard
times, but Teddy says that he has to vacate the title. After the non-match,
a backstage announcer asks Rey what he thinks this all means. Rey assumes
that Chavo is scared to be in the same arena as him, and goes to find Vickie
Guerrero and demand her to find Chavo and make him show up in the center of
the ring next week. The announcers will have to sell the audience on Chavo
"not being himself lately." I hate to depend on Michael Cole to add
anything to a feud, but JBL can pull it off.
At the third week, Rey enters the ring, and after a long pause, Chavo
finally comes out to the stage. After a short verbal berating by Rey, who
reminds Chavo of some of the bad things he's done, Chavo goes backstage
again but this time returns to ringside carrying a weapon (doesn't matter
what kind). However, Chavo slides the weapon in the ring to Rey. Chavo
takes the mic, turns his back to Rey, and after a long pause, Chavo asks Rey
to hit him. Rey is perplexed, and Chavo starts screaming at Rey to hit him,
and is on the verge of breaking down into tears again. Rey yells back for
Chavo to turn around and face him like a man, but Chavo cries that he "can't
do that." Rey slowly exits the ring and starts walking up the ramp, but
before he leaves the arena area, Chavo mutters, "I'm sorry." Rey starts
descending back down the ramp, and Chavo opens up [feel free to leave out
however much of the next few sentences/paragraphs as you need to for the
column]. Chavo says something to the effect of "I'm ashamed of what I've
done to you, Rey. I had a hard time after Eddie died, and I took it out on
you, but I shouldn't have. You have every right to hate me, and you have
absolutely no reason to believe me, but I am sorry. We were friends, and I
threw that away. I'm sorry I let my emotions get out of hand, I'm sorry I
couldn't be a man and admit I was wrong before, and I'm sorry I didn't help
you or your family while you were out of action. I've felt like a piece of
crap for months now. I don't deserve to be a champion, I don't deserve to
wrestle in front of these fans, I don't deserve to be a Guerrero, and I
don't deserve to have you as a friend." Rey enters the ring.
Chavo, still refusing to look Rey in the eye, continues, "After these last
few months, I've learned a few lessons about friendship, and about life
[important - no mention of Chris Benoit]. If I could do everything over
again, I would change it all. See, I know what's truly important now, but
it's too late. I've already lost it all." Rey spins Chavo around and
kisses him (just kidding - he hugs him, in a manly yet emotional way). Rey
asks if Chavo wants to go get a cerveza, and they leave.
The next week, Rey asks Chavo if he wants to join him in a tag match, just
for fun. The two win, and decide to team on a more regular basis, setting
their sights on the tag titles. Chavo "finds his smile" and the team wins
the gold after a short chase. They continue to put on some outstanding tag
matches. They can hold the belts for a long time, they can split up
amicably so Rey can go back to chasing the World title and Chavo can go
after his old Cruiserweight title, or they can have Chavo turn on Rey "Jake
the Snake style" again because he's just that kind of asshole. Either way,
this allows Rey to spend about 6 months in the tag ranks without having to
carry matches on his own, it adds credibility to the tag division that Deuce
and Domino have managed to subtract, and keeps Rey out of the World title
picture while Edge runs wild over the Smackdown roster. At the same time,
it addresses some very important issues regarding people in wrestling
suffering real losses.
Matt: Again, Rey out of the World Title picture is good, but there is so much Chavo here. There has to be a more original idea that having him work with Chavo. Aside from the presence of Chavo, insert somebody else in that place and it's a fine little idea.
Dan: What's with the damn Chavo love?! Were we not all saying
how bad that shit was last year? Can we move on?
J.T.: I would also add that there seems to be a LOT of Rey on the mic with these ideas. Let's remember that he is not necessarily the greatest talker. I believe a reader suggested that he say something like "Vince McMahon doesn't have a monopoly on humiliation". Not knocking it, but do you honestly see Rey saying something like that? Or more importantly, think the writing staff is intelligent enough to come up with that for him? I like all of the ideas so far, but let's get some more action, less words.
Matt: Well, that's it for this week, but that's not all. Next week we'll finish off this batch of ideas and give you some new homework, this week there will be no homework.
