The Thursday Small-For-All News Report: 09.06.07
Posted by Jeff Small on 09.06.2007
And to Think, I Thought I was Gonna Have an Easy Week Back…
Wait for it…
Wait for it…
Keep waiting….
Yes, yes….
WHAMMY!!!!!!!
Welcome back to the always punctual Thursday news report known as the Small-For-All. Contrary to popular belief (Wilcox), I was not on vacation last week. I had a work seminar with free booze. Totally different. I must say that it felt kinda nice being away from wrestling for almost a full week. While I am not yet near retiring from 411Mania, it was quite tempting not having any responsibilities for a week. Now at least I know that when I'm thinking about retiring, I can at least quit 411 until I get an awesome going away storyline!
And that's just one of the many stories I will tell in this edition of the Small-For-All. Considering that we have many topics to cover including brain trauma, steroids, terminations, quittings, and most importantly, man-rape! There's just way too much to talk about that I really should keep this introduction short. However, I won't…
I have a confession to make. This past week, I watched both Raw and ECW and I enjoyed them both. So yes, I have joined the positivity bandwagon (at least for this week). God, I hate myself too.
Now it's time to get this boat a-rockin'.
NEWS FROM TITAN TOWERS
Brain damage, ever since the day I was born
Drugs is what they used to say I was on
They say I never knew which way I was goin
But everywhere I go they keep playin my song
Clearly the big news of the day is that RVD's page has been deleted from ECW.com. Oh wait, that's not it you say…
Actually, the big news of the day is that test results on Chris Benoit's brain were released. While they cannot state why Benoit did what he had done, it does shed some light on his condition before the murders (and probably for the last few years). Here's what the report said:
"When asked how much of that he found Bailes replied, "It was extensive, throughout Chris's brain. It was striking and maybe shocking in the extent." The researcher said Benoit's brain scan looked similar to those of Alzheimer's patients. He described Benoit's brain as "very abnormal, something you should never see in a 40-year old."
Bailes has done similar research on the brains of former professional football players who committed suicide. He found similar brain damage in their cases; theroizes that repeated concussions can lead to dementia, which can contribute to severe behavioral problems. He goes onto say that a pattern emerges, "a recurring theme of failure in their personal lives and their business lives, depression and then ultimate suicide"
It's interesting to see how much importance was placed on concussions. While roid rage and Fragile X were the media "hot topics" that were used to place reasoning where reasoning fails, no one really mentioned how beat up mentally Chris Benoit was. Ok, I'm wrong; we mentioned how he was unhappy with being placed on the ECW program. Which could have been a bunch of bullshit for all we know. What everyone failed to mention was how after years of head trauma (concussions) and even a broken neck, Benoit was terribly beaten down.
The revelation that Benoit had major brain damage should not impact our feelings on what Benoit did. Murdering two people is inexcusable no matter how you slice it. However, we can at least know that it wasn't roid rage or a low testosterone count that caused this (not like that's what any of us actually believed).
The WWE is Not Fair to Flair!
Another big story to break today was that Ric Flair gave notice to the WWE a couple of weeks ago! According to the Observer, "This happened around 8/21 and has nothing to do with drug investigations or suspensions. WWE has offered him a major program to return. The sides haven't and nobody except perhaps Flair knows where things stand at this moment."
This might be an unpopular opinion but I really think that the only reason Flair quit was due to him wanting a grandiose retirement program. A long while ago, it was reported that Flair wanted to retire at Wrestlemania 24. Not too long after that, the plans were for Flair to have his retirement angle earlier, even ending as soon as in January at the Royal Rumble. Clearly, with so much drama in the WWE right now, Flair's retirement angle was definitely not at the front of Vince and the writer's minds. So in order to promote his angle, he quit.
Look I know this has not been proven and might never be (I doubt Flair will admit to this in his next autobiography). I just can't see another reason for Flair quitting the company. It's common knowledge that his last ex-wife has taken almost all of his money so he clearly needs a WWE paycheck. And with him wanting to retire eight months from now, it makes little sense as to why he left.
We Are All on Drugs…Gimme Some of that Stuff
With myself on vacation last week, I missed some major breaking news all revolving around the latest steroid investigations. During my week off, popular names were mentioned as to having bought steroids from Signature Pharmacy, an online distributor. Even an internet-phile like myself finds an online pharmacy doling out prescriptions to be quite sketch. Anyway, a week later, here's a look at what happened when shit hit the fan.
John Morrison dropped the ECW Championship to CM Punk
Umaga lost the IC title to Jeff Hardy before getting beat down by Triple H
Chavo Guerrero will lose a "I Quit" match on Smackdown
William Regal was fired as Commissioner of Raw after mispronouncing Youmanga's name too many times
Simon Dean was fired in real life
Ken Kennedy is NOT the son of McMahon (at least at this moment)
King Booker was nowhere to be found on Raw
Charlie Haas was made to look like the weak link of the WGTT and there's been no plans to push him since he returned last year
So kids, it pays not to obtain your steroids from online pharmacies. There are plenty of places that will prescribe you steroids even as near as four hours from your home! Go there instead. Hey, it works for Batista.
The only name on the above list that really shocked me was Chavo Guerrero. Here's a guy whose uncle and best friend died largely due to steroid abuse and he's still rocking the juice. What a fucking moron. It's one thing to tout the company line on news programs; it's another thing to be an idiot.
One who I don't feel too bad for is Simon Dean. While Dean was needed to make an example of, according to PWInsider, "He is now planning to move on from the wrestling business to a new career. Bucci has saved money and is not upset over the situation." Good for you Simon Dean. Promote your wellness system on QVC! I just hope he was able to keep his Segway.
Also,
Eugene was fired for reasons unknown (OH HAPPY DAY!)
Cryme Tyme was released for being black
If time allows, I'll have a Eugene-Was-Fired celebration on Heat this coming week. As for Cryme Tyme, here's the most updated information about their firing (from Rajah):
Backstage, there has been heat between Cryme Tyme and Cade & Murdoch for several weeks. During an altercation at a house show this weekend, Shad said to Trevor Murdock, "Whatever happens out there happens". This was seen as a direct threat and Murdoch addressed Shad's threat in front of the rest of the locker room.
Cade & Murdoch decided to pull a rib on Cryme Tyme involving the referee of their match that night and a major swerve. There was a spot in the match where JTG gets bumnped out of the ring and gets back in right before getting counted out. The swerve is that the refs were going to count very fast at the end and disqualify Crime Tyme - -without them knowing the real finish to the match. After it went down, Crime Tyme was shocked -- but immediately gave the referee their finishing maneuver - took off his belt and auctioned it off in the crowd!
Although the referee was protected during the move and they stayed in character by auctioning off his belt, Cryme Tyme still performed their finisher on somebody who did not expect it or was trained to take it and were seen as the real "bad guys" of the whole situation. They were released after the show.
This is not the tyme to be unprofessional in the WWE. With the company making examples of many employees, they should have just played with the crowd and left the referee alone. While I did enjoy the antics of Cryme Tyme, they won't be remembered too much as the WWE has tons of OVW wrestlers that they can saddle with crappy tag team gimmicks. That and Unforgiven now gets one good match in the form of Cade & Murdoch vs. London & Kendrick.
By the way, who would have thought that Trevor Murdoch was such a good ribber. This is yet another reason why I'm a fan of their tag team.
McMahon Got His Wish
THQ has released the final Smackdown vs. Raw 2008 playlist and Chris Benoit is nowhere to be found. While it's likely that his moves are still in the game, all references to him have been removed. Here's the roster for next year's game:
Bobby Lashley, Carlito, Jeff Hardy, John Cena, JTG, King Booker, Mr. Kennedy, Randy Orton, Shad Gaspard, Shawn Michaels, Snitsky, The Sandman, Triple H, Umaga, William Regal
Batista, Chavo Guerrero, Chris Masters, Edge, Finlay, Gregory Helms, Kane, Kenny Dykstra, Mark Henry, Matt Hardy, Montel Vontavious Porter, Rey Mysterio, Ric Flair, The Great Khali. The Undertaker
CM Punk, Elijah Burke, Johnny Nitro, Marcus Cor Von, Tommy Dreamer
Ashley, Candice Michelle, Kelly Kelly, Melina, Michelle McCool, Mickie James, Torrie Wilson
Bret Hart, Mick Foley, Rick Rude, Roddy Piper, Sabu, Steve Austin, Terry Funk, The Rock
While I'm pissed off that London & Kendrick were left off the list again (they were tag team champions for almost a year), it will be nice to finally be able to play with Kelly Kelly. Heh. Actually, I have no interest in purchasing the game (after not missing the last five games) especially since my lackey will continue his simulations.
By the way, the only reason Rick Rude is in the game is to be placed against Johnny Nitro in a Challenge Match. That's all.
Quick N Dirty WWE Newz
The plan at this point is to have CM Punk remain the ECW Champion until John Morrison comes back, then have him lose the belt back to Morrison.
I'll believe that one when I see. Why? Because I fully expect Big Daddy V to be ECW Champ by the time Morrison returns.
Triple H and Shawn Michaels are set to visit OVW today to observe developmental talent as well as the developmental process.
Oh how I wish this could be videotaped. There's nothing better than hearing HHH and HBK tell dozens of workers how to work. Because there assessment of CM Punk worked out so well, right?
Matt Sydal is set to report to OVW once he finishes up his independent bookings. He should report to OVW sometime towards the end of this month.
Good for Sydal. Let's see what shitty tag team gimmick he gets. Maybe he'll team with Colt Cabana for good times sake.
HBK and Y2J still have no interest in returning.
Well, HBK can't return until Randy Orton's program with John Cena is over. As for Y2J, I would like to see him return but I'm not sure how rusty he'll be after being removed from the game for two years. Clearly he'll be a step up on most of the WWE roster but if he's not the old Jericho, I would rather him stay retired.
The WWE and Microsoft have teamed up for all new streaming video for WWE.com
I'm not really sure what exactly is going on in the partnership but I'll be interested to see what happens. As long as I can still watch Heat and look at barely provocative pictures of the Divas, I'll be happy.
The WWE has signed 5 European wrestlers.
What about D'lo Brown? I'm waiting, WWE!
Jason Sensation appeared on The Shoot internet show and stated that Kevin Fertig (Kevin Thorn) raped him.
Heh. Man-rape is not cool. Unless it's on Oz.
Rumored Cyber Sunday matches include John Cena vs. Randy Orton for the WWE Championship in either a Falls Count Anywhere, Lumberjack, or Hell in the Cell Match and a Smackdown Fatal Four Way featuring Batista, the Great Khali, Mark Henry, and the Undertaker with special guest ref Stone Cold, Mick Foley, or Roddy Piper. This info was taken from local TV spots and from gerweck.net.
First, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know which gimmick will win out in the Cena/Orton match (hint: it's not the lumberjack match). Second, where's Rey Mysterio? It's no surprise then for him to take the fall in the Unforgiven title match. Hell, with all talk earlier about a Vince/Rey feud, I think there's a good possibility that Rey Mysterio is the son of McMahon (but what about Dominic?). Lastly, here's hoping that Steve Austin walks out on another Cyber Sunday!
NEWS FROM O-TOWN
Bye Bye Test! Hello Shelly and Samoa Joe!
From PW Torch:
Andrew Martin is done with TNA. One of the reasons that TNA did not want to continue to use Test was due to him showing up in suspicious shape (very muscular) to the point where TNA was concerned that he might draw unwanted attention, especially with the Congressional hearings around the corner.
Alex Shelley's TNA deal was set to expire very recently and he signed a new TNA deal for two years.
Samoa Joe has more than two years left on his TNA contract, he just wanted a raise when TNA wanted him to tack a couple more years onto the deal.
Test really wasn't needed on TNA so this is actually a smart move on TNA's part. Perhaps now that Alex Shelley has resigned with the company, the MCMGs will stop jobbing so damn much. Lastly, I learned this past week on Samoa Joe's My Space page that he loves money. Well, who doesn't?
A TNA DVD That's Quite Worthy of a Pickup!
From PWInsider, here's a look at the TNA Year One DVD that is scheduled to be released on November 20th.
The main feature on the DVD – a nearly two-hour documentary on the first year of TNA covers the following topics:
- The story behind the origin of TNA Wrestling during a fishing trip in 2001
- Jeff Jarrett talks candidly about the early steps in the creation of TNA and his vision for the promotion
- The idea behind the weekly Pay-Per-View format
- Several TNA stars talk about the demise of WCW and how they first heard about TNA
- Setting up the TNA offices and bringing together the TNA roster
- Meetings with Pay-Per-View providers
- Problems that arose in the weeks leading up to the debut of TNA
- Mike Tenay and Don West talk about meeting for the first time
- How the ring broke just minutes before the start of the first Pay-Per-View
- Memories from many TNA stars from that first night
- How TNA almost didn't make it after the first few months
- TNA President Dixie Carter talks about TNA and Panda Energy joining forces
- How Dixie Carter and Jeff Jarrett first met
- The creation of TNA's X Division with stories from AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels
- The creation of TNA's Tag Team Division with America's Most Wanted, The New Church and Triple X, with comments from "Wildcat" Chris Harris, "Cowboy" James Storm, "The Fallen Angel" Christopher Daniels and "Primetime" Elix Skipper
- TNA makes "The Asylum" their home in Nashville, Tennessee
- BG James, Chris Harris and Mike Tenay remember Curt Hennig
- The most-anticipated match in TNA's first-year - Jeff Jarrett vs. Raven – with comments from both stars
- And much, MUCH MORE!
Also featured during the documentary are many of the unforgettable moments from TNA's first year on Pay-Per-View:
- The in-ring debut of country music icon Toby Keith
- The Road Warriors come to TNA
- Jeff Jarrett brawls with the Tennessee Titans
- Chris Rock brings Hollywood to TNA
- Ken Shamrock vs. Sabu in a Ladder Match
- Raven vs. Sandman in the first-ever "House Of Fun" match
- The debut of "Rowdy" Roddy Piper
- Battles over the NWA World Heavyweight Title featuring Jeff Jarrett, Ken Shamrock, AJ Styles, Ron "The Truth" Killings and Raven
- The wars between America's Most Wanted and The New Church and Triple X
- X Division Championship matches with Senshi, AJ Styles, Chris Sabin and The Amazing Red
- Appearances by Ricky Steamboat, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, The Rock N' Roll Express, Nikita Koloff, Vader and much more
The matches included on "TNA: Year 1" are as follows:
June 19, 2002 – Gauntlet For The Gold
(20 Stars compete in a battle royal to become the first TNA-era World Heavyweight Champion – featuring Jeff Jarrett, Ken Shamrock, Scott Hall, Chris Harris and many more)
June 26, 2002 – Elimination Match
Jerry Lynn vs. AJ Styles vs. Psichosis vs. Senshi
(Witness history as the first-ever TNA X Division Champion is crowned)
August 28, 2002 – Triple Ladder Match For The X Division Championship
Jerry Lynn vs. AJ Styles vs. Senshi
(Regarded as one of the greatest matches in TNA Wrestling history)
January 8, 2003 – World Tag Team Championship Match
America's Most Wanted vs. The New Church
(The violent feud that ignited a revolution in TNA's tag team ranks)
April 30, 2003 – World Heavyweight Championship Match
Jeff Jarrett vs. Raven
(The legendary main event showdown between two bitter rivals)
I actually think I'm going to pick this one up. I guess I'm a sucker for learning about how a struggling promotion with weekly PPVs became a struggling promotion with a monthly PPV. That and it should be quite interesting to watch the Jeff Jarrett/Raven match, especially if there is alternate-commentary. Even John Cena would have sold the beating Jeff Jarrett received in that match!
COMING ATTRACTIONS
I'm tired. Next week, if there's less news, I want to bitch about a growing problem with the WWE's recent string of PPVs. Until then…
