Truth B Told 9.6.07: On Vacation
Posted by Bayani Domingo on 09.06.2007
Stopping by for a quick second this week to give my thoughts on last week’s big Indy Tournament and WWE Scandal. This week’s column is so short you’ll have to read it twice in the ‘can’ this week.
So I was this * * close to phoning in "sick" this week due to my vacation and lack of any real time to watch wrestling and limited access to a computer, but I figured, hell, the least I can do is squeeze out a quickie for you good people. Well some of you are good, the others… Canadians. Okay, I kid…there are good Canadians out there…Trish Stratus for one…and only. But I digress, here's a quick run down of the two events that took up 90% of my time last weekend.
BoLA '07 Thoughts
Night 1
The first night started well with a tag team match involving the Youngbucks (Matt and Nick Jackson) vs Los Luchas (Phoenix Star and Zokre). Sure it was a little spotty and a tiny bit sloppy in a few parts but it was fast paced, exciting and a great way to open up the tournament. If these guys aren't featured more in PWG now that the tag division there is in shambles then the bookers need a palm strike to the face. Someone call Lyger. The rest of the matches were a bit disappointing. There were only really a couple of matches that were good enough to really feel like BoLA matches: Austin Aries vs Roderick Strong, Alex Shelley vs Tyler Black, Claudio Castagnoli vs Doug Williams, and PAC vs Jack Evans. The actual MotN in my opinion was the Tag Team Championship match between Steen-Erico and Dragon Kid/Susumu Yokosuka. Although I wouldn't argue if anyone felt PAC/Jack or Strong/Aries was a bit better. A Good night of wrestling, but not a blow out by any means. The 5 matches I mentioned were at least *** matches and Aries/Strong, Jack/PAC, and the tag match were close to 4 as could be.
I want to partially blame the heat due to the fact that Burbank was in the low 100's all weekend and the Armory having no A/C and being 90+ degreees all night long. Probably up in the mid to high 90's actually. It killed the crowd and the wrestlers. This night also gave us one of, if not THE worst BoLA match in history, Jimmy Rave vs Matt Sydal. I want to give Rave another chance because it felt like he was the one that botched most of the spots but he just didn't impress me. I hope he gets another shot down the road but I'd have to get more opinions from anyone who isn't a RoHbot as to whether Rave is worth anything anywhere other than RoH.
Night 2
Once again a "Good not Great" night of wrestling. Heat was still in effect, but by then I had gotten used to it a bit and knew what to expect this time around. Good thing that Dragon Gate was selling souvenir fans for $5 the previous night, those things were life savers. Also for anyone wondering, Nigel McGuinness sounds like what you'd expect a guy named "Nigel" to sound like in person. He doesn't look like a ‘Nigel' but certainly sounds like one. Also he has a fairly hot blonde girlfriend, I thought she might have been English/Northern perhaps with a bit of an Irish sounding accent, but someone else called her Italian. Still, she was a nice looking bird. Opening match was bad, real bad. CIMA vs Human Tornado was good until the overly booked ending. Note to PWG, if you have a tournament, there is no need to keep having the valets get involved every year it just leaves a bad taste I your mouth. SHINGO vs Scott Lost was nearly the MotN if it wasn't for the awesome D-Kid/Susu main event. Lost is a real underappreciated talent and I can see why SHINGO is considered the next level of ace in Dragon Gate.
El Generico vs Tony Kozina, Necro Butcher vs Kevin Steen were both disappointments. Generico and Kozina never had a chance really but the beginning of the match was slow and sloppy and that killed any chance they had. Necro vs Steen wasn't a wild brawl but a fairly slow wrestling match that ended with a Necro roll up. Yeah. Davey Richards vs Nigel McGuinness was pretty good with a bit of comedy and ended up as a hard hitting contest. Let's hope this means more of Nigel in the future. But like I said before the heat killed the show. I don't know what it would take, but if PWG could convince the armory owners to spring for A/C I'd be willing to pay another dollar or two per ticket for that. Its stuff like this that makes Indy wrestling such an unappealing choice compared to TNA or WWE some nights.
Night 3
AWESOME, just awesome. Great wrestling and this truly summed up with BoLA is all about. There wasn't a single match that wasn't at least a **1/2 match and most were at least *** and some were **** matches. I am not exaggerating or being a "homer". Shelley vs Sydal will probably go down as not only THE match of BoLA but is a MoTYC in PWG thus far. If you watched the first two nights and doubted where BoLA '07 would stand in the hierarchy of Indy shows this year, night 3 brought back the faith. Shelley/Sydal, Shelley/Strong, and CIMA/SHINGO were all great, not just good, but the kind of matches that when you buy the DVD you'll watch over and over again. I felt like the third night made BoLA '07 a MUST BUY in the DVD section and if Ari is reading this, you can dog ear this for your "Independent Buy-In" already.
Despite the heat and despite the multiple matches, it felt like each match had a so much riding on it and the semi-finals had this big match feel each time out. The finals was also the best BoLA finals by FAR that PWG ever had. There really was a split as everyone was sure that Roddy and Generico were the only possible winners, but CIMA's victory was well received and in the end it adds a new chapter to BoLA. The question is whether PWG would pull a ‘Gabe' and let CIMA hold the belt, even if for just a day if he returns to challenge for it during the next All-Star Weekend. I felt like one of two things had to be accomplished during BoLA and that was even have the winner actually take the title off the champion and make winning the tournament mean something, or giving the win to a big name and legitimizing the tournament rather than just having another local guy win it and then have his momentum totally killed. At the very least Danielson vs CIMA the first time around was a great match that ended in a time limit draw so you KNOW the rematch will be good. Also, the guy has earned it as he's been one of the two MVP's of the tournament along with Alex Shelley who probably gets the nod just because he had an awesome jewfro mullet-hawk. Besides, any reason to get DG back in PWG is a winning proposition in my book. All in all a good night of wrestling that juuuuust barely made up for the other two.
WWE Suspends everyone but Cena
Well it was bound to happen and I think the "e" did the right thing by jumping on the suspensions before the wrestlers were outted by the media after the crackdown. There is no need to name everyone as most people already know who they are and how high this reaches. I'm surprised that Lashley, Cena, and HHH have been able to remain ‘clean' thus far, but you never know, maybe the entire IWC is wrong and these guys really are all natural…moving on. Batista's name was given, then pulled back, but I don't doubt that even my Pinoy Homeboy is going to get ‘got' at some point. If he does then Smackdown is truly screwed, Undertaker or not. Imagine if Rey Rey is also suspended, not that it matters since there is no way in hell he'll come out with a win against Khali unless he manages to kill Khali after blocking off his windpipe while Khali is trying to eat him whole.
The suspensions are tough because it seems that this is only the 1st round of suspensions. I can't imagine more people won't be caught, but then again, one has to think that those who haven't been caught are smart enough to hide their shit better. In fact, I'm almost sure Funaki was just a middle man because if he wasn't then he got the cheapest most ‘off brand' ‘roids they had because that shit looks like it must have been expired when he took it. With so many people gone and the few surprise releases like Cryme Tyme and Eugene the "e" is in trouble for a while. Hell, Ric Flair's surprise resignation didn't help things as they could have at least used his retirement angle to pick up some slack on Smackdown. Right now the "e" is going to just go with the ‘business as usual' line and try to push the McMahon Bastard angle as far as they can. I don't buy it though, because Vince has to be more worried than he's letting on with the Congressional Hearings looming and one would hope that this isn't the beginning of the end, but you gotta be worried because how long will it be until TNA starts announcing a few "suspensions" of their own. Hell, it's not like Andrew Martin wasn't signed just cuz' he rubbed a few people the wrong way. There is no better way of sticking out like a sore thumb then when that thumb has a syringe stuck in his ass.
There is no way to know what will happen this month with the ‘e' but let's face it, ratings will suffer a bit, but won't fall off. The in ring product will be bad, but it's not like it didn't have down time anyways, and of course ECW will survive off CM Punk vs The Miz matches for longer than it ever should. Any way you slice it the product will suffer a bit, but hell, it's only a month. What we need to really look at is what will happen on Capitol Hill, not the month of September. At the very least, we now have football to take our minds off things. Now if I only didn't waste that 6th round pick on Greg Jennings….oh well, its not like he's the sorriest asshole in Green Bay now a days right? ….Kennedy….
The Truth
BoLA ‘07 started like a bad date and ended up with a round of kinky handcuffed sex back at her place…then she woke you up with French Toast and bacon. Okay, maybe it was turkey bacon, but the French Toast was good. The "e" will survive to live another day and a bad month of TV isn't the end of the world. But I'm warning you now, if another round of suspensions happen…you might want to go ahead and draft another Fantasy Football team now. I'm hearing that Tomlinson guy in San Diego is pretty good.
Coming Up Short
Mr. Kennedy isn't the bastard son of Vince. "Things are looking up" can only mean one thing…Great Khali is the son of Vince. The man is a GIANT, you would HAVE to look up to see him. Or maybe a return by Big Show? Eh, either way, eliminating Kennedy was pointless. Why drag this out another week and take Kennedy out of the equation? Does anyone really think that with all the suspensions, any revelation by Vince about his bastard son is going to bring in more viewers? Unless somehow he manages to pull a miracle out of his ass and deliver a serious name as his heir. In the face of all the ‘suspensions' something tells me that what ever is revealed Monday Night, or even IF it is revealed Monday night will end up coming up short. Wait a second…"Things are looking up"…has anyone seen Sabu lately?
6 Degrees of…
With Dave Dunn no where to be found I got to link my own choices this week. So we'll start with one of the first casualties "kayfabe" wise of the steroid crack down. It's bad enough to be suspended, but to have to job to Matt Hardy's sister…tsk tsk… This week we'll go ahead and link him to a man who admittedly doped up but doesn't seem to be facing much more than a slap on the wrist thus far…
Yeah, apparently Bud is a lot more lenient towards the guy who admitted being on the ‘juice' than the guy who swears he thought it was flaxseed oil. Go figure.
Whatchu talkin' bout readers?
You guessed it…the suspensions.
6 Degrees Results
Honorable Mention
Back for another try…
Billy Crystal did Comic Relief with Robin Williams
Robin Williams started out on Happy Days with Henry Winkler
Henry Winkler was in Waterboy with Adam Sandler
Sandler was in Longest Yard with Kevin Nash
Nash wrestled Goldberg in WCW
Also in WCW was Raven, or Scott Levy
Scott Levy wrestled in Global as Scott Anthony as did
Jack Hart, or better known as Barry Horowitz
James Giles
Evenin' Bayani- have a good time at BOLA! Do I get a prize if I'm right?
6DO. I really should get some practice in, so have some religious fun...
1) Barry Horowitz teamed with HBK as the Red Knight. Another former tag team partner of HBK is God (an aspect of whom is Jesus)
2) Jesus was incvolved in a notorious crucifixion angle, as was Scott 'Raven' Levy
3) Raven was widely regarded as ECW's best promo guy who was there long term. Well either him or Joel 'I always leave them sore, but they keep coming back for more' Gertner
4) The Quintessental Studmuffin allegedly had an enormous 'Jackhammer' to use McMahon lingo. Another Jew famed fr his Jackhammer is Bill Goldberg
5) Goldberg went through many people, including former UFC man Tank Abbott (Okay, I dunno if he's a Jew...)
6) Tank Abbott was in an episode of Friends that also had a cameo appearence from Billy Crystal
Okay, not the greatest links, but at least fun right!
Take care!
Luke Southworth
Sorry Luke…no prize. Actually the prize was a calendar of "Hot Asian Bitches", but somehow it went missing when I left it for 2 minutes in the staff room last week.
Bayani-
My goal this week was to not use the Crystal-Andre-Princess Bride connection that I bet everyone uses.
I succeeded.
Barry Horowitz was under the mask as the Red Knight on Shawn Michaels' team At 1993 Survivor Series.
Shawn Michaels anointed Owen Hart as a "Nugget"
Owen Hart Had the greatest opening match on a PPV with his brother Bret at Wrestlemania X.
Bret, along with Jim Neidhart in the Hart Foundation, was managed by "The Mouth of the South" Jimmy Hart.
Jimmy Hart was a huge part of the Andy Kauffman/Jerry Lawler feud.
Andy Kauffman infamously hosted the ill-fated SNL rip-off "Fridays" 3 times in 1981 and had a taped public apology on another episode hosted by Billy Crystal.
At least give me some credit for not taking the easy way out.
Brian Eyer
#3
Pfft, no more slacking for me...
Tough, we in Canada don't pay attention to religion like this, so I had no idea who was Jewish and who isn't. I had to do extra research, but I did it. I have only those who are Jewish on the list.
1) Billy Crystal was in "City Slickers 2" with John Lovitz
2) John Lovitz was in "3000 Miles to Graceland" with David Arquette
3) David Arquette was in "Ready to Rumble", which contained cameo scenes by Billy Kidman
4) Billy Kidman wrestled in a "Catch as Catch Can Match" with Dean Molenko on Dean's final night in WCW.
5) Dean Molenko is the son of Boris Molenko
6) Boris Molenko trained Barry Horrowitz
Louis Jones
#2 It's Friday morning, and before I begin I have to say I'm more than a little bit nervous to see what the fallout is going to be from all these Wellness Policy suspensions. I know time will tell, but I have this bad feeling that wrestling is in for a huge (huge!) downturn. I hope I'm wrong.
Anyway, on to 6DO. I do have to say, I absolutely loved your caveat of the all-Jewish links. Wasn't expecting that. I couldn't wait to get started. IMHO, it was the most challenging 6DO yet. But to continue my recent trend, here are my 2 entries, with nothing but Jews:
#1 -
1. Billy Crystal made an unforgettable cameo in the 1997 movie "The Princess Bride", as did Peter Falk.
2. Peter Falk starred in the 1976 movie "Murder By Death" and the 1995 movie "The Sunshine Boys", both of which were written by Neil Simon.
3. Neil Simon also wrote the screenplay for the 1988 movie "Biloxi Blues", which starred Matthew Broderick.
4. Matthew Broderick is going to be one of the voices in the upcoming movie "The Bee Movie", as will Jerry Seinfeld.
5. One of the many writers on Jerry Seinfeld's sitcom 'Seinfeld' was Larry David.
6. On an episode of the TV show 'Curb your Enthusiasm', Larry David's cellphone rang while he was in the middle of a Christian Scientist prayer group. His ringtone was "Hava Nagila", which was the entrance music for Barry Horowitz.
#2 -
1. Billy Crystal was in the 1997 movie "Deconstructing Harry" with Julie Kavner.
2. Julie Kavner was in the 2006 movie "Click" with Adam Sandler.
3. Adam Sandler starred in the 2005 movie "The Longest Yard", which had Bill Goldberg.
4. Bill Goldberg played a defensive position in his short stint in the NFL (defensive tackle, Atlanta Falcons), as did Brian Pillman (linebacker, Cincinnati Bengals).
5. At the 2001 Brian Pillman Memorial Show, Dean Malenko announced his retirement from wrestling.
6. Dean Malenko's father, Boris Malenko, trained Barry Horowitz.
Double C
#1.
BayaDo,
All-Jewish, you say? Not a problem for the Israelite undercarder of 6DO.
1. Barry Horowitz (who shares my birthday of March 24th) was trained by the Malenko family.
2. Malenko once wrestled a match with such convulted rules that he'd lost by simply leaving the ring. The winner? Billy Kidman.
3. Kidman was a member of Raven's Flock. By the way, it was Lita who gave him that 7-Year Itch.
4. Raven, being protected by the whole Flock, was defeated by Bill Goldberg in a US title match.
5. Goldberg is a big MMA enthusiast, as was "Friends" character Pete played by Jon Favreau (who's got a Jewish mom and a Catholic dad. Christianity looks at the paternal side, but Judiasm checks for the mother, so Jesus and Moses are fighting over his soul or something).
6. The episode in which Pete attempts to become "Ultimate Fighting Champion" opens in Central Perk, where the gang's usual spot is taken by two bickering older men, "Father's Day" co-stars Robin Williams and Billy Crystal
Chen Arbel
It was a tough one, but I'm going to go with Chen this week for no other reason than the Lita joke. Yeah…you can tell I'm on vacation when that's all it takes. You're up next week Chen.
Left Overs…
Is anyone else not looking forward to when the new Smackdown vs RAW video game comes out and they change Jeff Hardy's ‘finishing move' from the ‘Swanton Bomb' to the ‘rope shake'?
"Glamazon" is a pretty good nickname for Beth Phoenix. I also thought "Dyke-asaurus Beth" was a good one too but I guess it didn't look as good on a t-shirt.
Is anyone else thinking that a new spinoff sitcom with Jillian Hall and Daivari could really blow "Hogan Knows Best" out of the ratings water? I can't wait for the episode where Jillian wears a skimpy outfit to the mall and gets her butt pinched by a perverted old Orange Julius employee and Daivari beats her with an extension chord when they get home.
I'm glad they finally took the IC Title off that drug abusing whacko because he was definitely not the kind of inconsistent and volatile personality you want holding that belt…oh, sorry, just practicing for when they take the title off Jeff Hardy again next month.
Big Daddy V and Boogeyman continues. Elijah Burke should be receiving another mini-push soon as Morrison is out of action for a while, and Marcus CorVon should be back any day now. ECW now stands for Ebony Championship Wrestling. Is anyone else waiting for CM Punk to start his next feud after accidentally throwing away a pack of Menthol Kool's and a 40 oz of Old English?
The "Vulture Squad" huh? Jack Evans went to the well and pulled out Ruckus and Julius Smokes for his stable. I'm hoping that they actually do bring in Eddie Kingston into the stable and rename it, "White Chocolate Mocha".
So I guess it was less of a "Test" in TNA and more of a pop quiz.
Chuck Taylor is now the IWA:MS Heavyweight AND Lightweight champion. Hey, say what you will but at least Ian Rotten knows how to book the top talent for his promotion. He's getting two championship matches each show for the price of one. They had to figure a way to save some money to buy back a TNA wrestler for the TPI some way. It sure wasn't going to end up coming out of Ian's ‘Twinkie' fund.
Misawa/KENTA vs Morishima/Marafuji in RoH Main Event of "Glory by Honor VI". Brilliant. I'm glad RoH manages to still put together the best Indy talent possible to…fill the undercard of their shows. PuROH power!!
Random Latina Bitch Lookin' Good Pic of the Week
Hey, even the Asian bitches took a vacation this week…enjoy this week's fill in, Mayra Veronica…I know I will.
Pimpin' In High Places
Okay, so I got lazy this week…I'm entitled right? Well it's not like anything important happened this week right? Well except for the only 3 wrestlers left on Smackdown are now the Major Brothers and Shannon Moore. Hmm…I wonder which Major is going to be the US Champ? Okay, well read the rest of the columns this week from the usual suspects…or…unusual to say the least.
But I will say one thing...411mania is currently looking for writers. So go and submit a column idea to Csonka, Randle, and Ashish. Or...just one of them, not sure how that works. But make sure to come up with an idea that has longevity and isn't just set up to fizzle out in a couple of months. For instance, writing up a column idea called "Weekly Look at Teddy Hart's WWE Employment" may not have the kind of legs you think it might. Besides, the prestige and fame you'll get from a sweet gig like this is unparalleled. Unless you happen to be the fastest juicer at "Hot Dog on a Stick".
It's be nice taking the past two weeks off work. Alas I start a new job in a new place with a brand new 20 mile commute (each way) on Monday. Who knows how I'm going to work around the new schedule when it comes to writing up this column. So excuse me if the next few week's columns are a little short. I'll just throw in an extra semi-naked white chick and I'm sure no one will even notice.
