The Way I C It 9.17.07: Completely Hornswaggle Free
Posted by Chris Lansdell on 09.17.2007
A GHC match writeup, thoughts on the Big 3, shots fired at TNA, shameless pimping, conspiracies, a shocking sentence that may see me lynched...so much goodness it is all over you screen! MAN UP!
Welcome, fellow fans, to week 2 of The Way I C It. It's been a quieter week in the wrestling world, for a change. And in a stroke of luck, Seacrest is hosting the Emmys, therefore removing the last potential obstacle to meeting my deadline.
I was all set to talk about TNA, 2 hours, and possibly RoH TV deals in this week's column, until I received this email (yay! Feedback!):
Have you considered the possibility that Russo is still working for Vince McMahon and purposely sabotaging TNA? No I am not joking. You just mentioned that TNA started downhill when Russo started working for them.
Wow. Now I love a conspiracy theory as little as the next guy, so I was prepared to work the whole shift+delete special on this...until I considered it. Far fetched? Yes. Impossible? No. I mean, no one human could possibly be dumb enough to book the biggest face in the company as a moron, bury the best homegrown talent under one-trick ponies 5 years past any semblance of relevance, and belittle the unique achievement of one of those talented homebrews (AJ Styles' Triple Crown) by having one man accomplish the same thing, ALONE, in one night, right?
TNA was riding high, putting on great PPVs and increasing their rating every week on Spike. Then Russo happened, and progress ground to a halt. You have to wonder if all the Wrestling (big W to differentiate from sports entertainment wrestling) fans turned off, and a few wrestling fans are now TNA's fanbase, hoping to see Christian and Angle since they can't see them on WWE now. Surely Russo could not intentionally change TNA from a realistic alternative to trying to beat WWE at their own game?
Oh wait, we're talking about Russo. They guy responsible for whole episodes of Raw without a clean finish. The guy who thought a faction containing Hugh G Rection and Major Gunns would sell tickets. The man who then "found God" and thought a religious promotion would succeed. The day Vince McMahon works with Russo again is the day Triple H puts over CM Punk.
Speaking of, someone sent a question to the awesome Ask 411 Wrestling a good while ago about why CM Punk never uses the Pepsi Plunge in WWE. For those not in the know, the Pepsi Plunge is a top rope Pedigree. As an unabashed CM Punk fan and fellow straight-edger, I pray that he never uses it in the WWE, unless he's feuding or about to feud with HHH. Because if he does, he will be wished the best in his future endeavours before you can say "Welcome to Chicago!" Hey, I wonder how long it is before Jimmy Rave pulls out the Greetings from Ghana on TNA and they make some stupid semi-veiled remarks towards WWE?
The Way I C Ring of Honor
OK, so I mainly included this to get a link from Ari. I feel so dirty.
Is it me, or is RoH starting to feel a lot like WWE in the late 90s? Factions everywhere, giant Japanese champion being chased by supreme technical machine, tag team scene strong and hot, and hardly anybody watching.
I haven't seen the match against Morishima, but I'm not sold on Stevens yet.
Nigel McGuinness is suffering from what I call Stone Colditis. He has a tremendous moveset but has toned it down in favour of forearm-running forearm-Tower of London-various lariats. Yes, the Rebound/Jawbreaker Lariat is impressive (when he doesn't botch it), but it's no longer novel!
Jimmy Rave is a loss. I'm a big fan of this guy, and it's a shame he thought he could do better at what amounts to an indie with slightly better exposure.
The crowd chanting about Benoit to Davey Richards is not good. Reportedly, someone in the crowd shouted "Good night Daniel!" when Richards applied a Crossface. The IWC has been on Richards' case for using Benoit's moves and smiling, but this is too much. Here, IWC, watch this:
Chris Benoit was one of the greatest performers of all time.
OMG I SAID IT! Now I'm going to get X-Pac heat no matter where I go. Please. If you want to see something that truly deserves this reaction, see what Ari says about PWG.
The Way I C the E
Wasn't Marella implicated in the Signature fiasco? Way to write him out: have him punk out Ron Simmons and make me mark liek leetle gurl.
I hate to say I told you so, but look what happened to Kennedy. And Batista. (NB Written before the PPV)
Smackdown needs some new main event talent, STAT. The MVP-Hardy program is hot, but they HAVE to elevate one or both to the big matches before we die of Khali poisoning.
ALL HAIL PUNK! ALL HAIL PUNK! Sorry.
Don't look now, but Raw has more than 2 tag teams.
Please get Cody Rhodes a Finisher.
Please get Jesse and Festus in the ring.
The Way I C Briscoes – Ricky Marvin and Kotaro Suzuki. GHC Jr Tag Team Title Bout
I should probably preface this review by pointing out that I'm an unabashed Briscoe mark. The best match this year, for me, is Mark vs Jay in Liverpool. They've had matches with the Kings of Wrestling, Steenerico, and the Motor City Machine Guns that have easily surpassed ****. I would not be surprised if they break the record for most ****+ matches in one year this year.
I love Japanese ring introductions. Just saying. The Briscoes are the defending GHC Jr Tag Team champions in this match.
Mark-Suzuki to start. Early exchange of forearms, the Briscoes go for some heel double teaming and Kotaro scuppers that idea with a headscissors/hiptoss combo on both Briscoes. Marvin is in and eats a double chop. Double hiptoss try on Suzuki reversed to a double Japanese armdrag. IRONY~! Marvin with a springboard crossbody, one Briscoe down, the other no sells. Marvin ducks a double clothesline, and then hits an assisted dropkick on both Briscoes! DOUBLE SUICIDA by the challengers to the outside, Suzuki over the top rope and R through the middle. Mark and Kotaro in. Headlock takedown into sombrief mat work. Tag, Jay with chops in the corner, Kotaro fights out, slaps Jay with a palm strike and tags out to Marvin.
Ricky Marvin hits the basement dropkick and gets 2. Buffalo Sleeper by Marvin, Jay to the ropes. Tag to Mark. Shoulders to Marvin in the corner, suplex gets 2. RANDY ORTON SPECIAL!!!, aka reverse chinlock, by Mark. Tag to Jay, a back elbow gets 1. Minor nitpick, the old whip, lay down, opponent jumps into strike from partner routine is old and never looks like it adds much to the impact. I am glad to see it only once in this match. Marvin backs Jay to Marvin's corner, Kotaro in. "Nice dropkick-uh" - Commentator. Chancery by Kotaro. Jay body slams to get out of it, and he's going to the high rent district (was that Jesse or Gorilla?), but he gets caught. Kotaro to the outside and climbs up with Jay, Mark with a running strike to stop Kotaro from imminent pain-bringing. Mark climbs behind Kotaro, who is in superplex position with Jay, do I smell Tower of Pain? Marvin in and HOLY HOPPED-UP MONKEYS springboard peach rana!!! by Marvin, top rope rana by Kotaro gets 2. Nice spot. Tag to Ricky, double whip and double back elbow gets 2 on Jay. Marvin with a surfboard, then he notices Jay is within reach of the ropes and rolls Jay around it to the center of the ring, nice psychology. Jay with a cool reversal to pin for 1. Kotaro is in, flying forearm gets 2. Tito Santana tribute!!!! Camel clutch by Kotaro....where is Marvin going? Up the walkway... HOLY SMOKE no way! Marvin runs down the ramp and goes THROUGH THE ROPES for a basement dropkick to the face of Jay while Jay is still clutched camelwise. Only 2 on the pin by Kotaro. Not often you see innovation these days. That said, he might do that every match, this is the first I've seen of either Japanese gent. Abdominal stretch-uh by Kotaro, Jay hip tosses out but eats a drop kick. I'm getting a charge out of this Japanese commentary, every now and then an English phrase is thrown in and it's so cool to hear how they say it. Anyway. Marvin whips Jay to the rail outside. Tag to Ricky, springboard kick to the face, single leg crab by Ricky on Jay. Rope break. I need to learn Japanese.
Tag to Kotaro, boots in the corner. Whip, Jay vaults over a charging Kotaro then a NICE dropkick to the back of Kotaro's head. Marvin charges, avoids a collision with Kotaro after Jay dodges but eats a backdrop. Running knee to the back of Suzuki's head in the corner à la Panic Attack. Mark in, screaming missile dropkick to Marvin. NINJA BRISCOE! chops and spinning heel kick gets 2. Tag to Jay, whip to the corner on Kotaro, the 4 men dance around each other leading to Mark running along the apron and flying hip first, OVER the corner post onto Marvin outside. Nice spot. In the ring we miss the move Jay used to watch Mark posing, but he gets 2. Knee by Jay, springboard Hart Attack spinning heel kick by Mark gets 2 for Jay on Suzuki. Convoluted way to describe the move, but that's what it was. Tag to Mark. Kotaro tries to fight back but eats a trademark Briscoe double-team combo ended by springboard double stompery for 2. Figure 4 neck lock by Mark on Kotaro, who gets to the ropes, snap mare and fistdrop by Mark. Tag to Jay, BIG double team hiptoss for 2. Any higher and he'd get peanuts and a safety presentation. Whip, another nice dropkick-uh. Barking double shoulder charge for 2. Stretch plum by Mark, chained into an ABDOMINAL CLAW broken up by Marvin. When was the last time you saw THAT move??? Pin by Mark gets 2. Tag to Jay, choke in the corner, both Briscoes count along with the ref. "I have til 5 buddy." - Jay Briscoe. GIMMICK INFRINGEMENT!!1! Double whip, Kotaro with the Tajiri handstand rebound elbow (of Doom) to reverse. He flips out of the back suplex, ducks a clothesline, the Briscoes hit each other, Suzuki with a dropkick to both, and HOT TAG~!!!
Forearms everywhere, Briscoes bounce off the ropes, Marvin bounces right behind them and trips them while sliding to the outside. Nice. SPRINGBOARD QUEBRADA on both men! Beautifully executed. Whip to Jay in the corner, Marvin charges, catches the boot of Jay, and vaults to the outside...STIFF kick to the head of Jay, springboard missile dropkick to Mark! Nice backbreaker-STO combo by Ricky gets 2. Dragon Sleeper with body scissors applied, Jay fights out, ROLL THE DICE! gets 2. I will always mark for that move. Whatever happened to Reno, anyway? Forearm exchange, Jay ducks a clothesline and smacks a Yakuza Japanese Legitimate Businessman's kick ($1 to Al Snow) to Marvin. Tag to Mark. Whip reversed. Mark vaults up to the top, Marvin ducks the twisting press but Mark catches a sunset flip for 2 on the way through, then holds on and nails running corner bomb, into an exploder,1...2...no! Slam attempt escaped, Mark gets flipped to the apron, he tries a springboard but eats 2 boots and a big superkick. Tag to Kotaro, HIGH "diving-uh bodyattack-uh" gets 2. More forearms, Mark wins but eats a back suplex with a rotation so that Mark falls on his face. Top rope splash for 2. Kotaro going upstairs again, Jay stops him. Mark up top with Kotaro for a superplex... reversed!!!!! Mark is thrown to the outside, innovative double team assisted somersault plancha to the outside by Kotaro onto both Briscoes. Nice action spurt. 619 on Mark by Kotaro, followed by a German for 2. Powerbomb try escaped, into 2 t-bones semi-sold by Kotaro, both men loosen some bicuspids with a superkick from Mark and palm strike by Suzuki and we have both men down. Double tag, run of the ropes, gourdbuster by Jay hits hard and gets 2.8. Jay calls for the German, but gets rolled up by Marvin for 2, rollup reversal by Jay gets 2. Stunner by Marvin, Jay falls into the ropes and absolutely KILLS Ricky with a lariat. Both men down. Seriously, that was sick.
Mark in, big flying forearm to Kotaro on the outside, modified power bomb on Marvin gets 2. Forearms, Ricky Marvin matrix-dodges a clothesline, then smacks a superkick, and gourdbuster into DDT on Mark. Jay in, Death Valley Driver to Marvin. Suzuki in, tombstone to Jay. Mark with a release German to Kotaro and all 4 are down. This is a really loud crowd for Japan. Forearms between Ricky and Mark. Mark wins, a clothesline is blocked and turned into...I have no idea what to call that. Almost a hiptoss bomb with a fisherman leg hook. That sounds weird but I have no idea what else to say, and I know my moves. Tag to Kotaro, Mark over the top to escape from a suplex, back suplex to Kotaro gets 2. Tag to Jay. It's over, say the Briscoes. Setting up for the springboard Doomsday...OH SNAP!!! Mid springboard, Ricky Marvin springboards into Mark with a rana, Kotaro Suzuki then hits a reverse rana on Jay!!!!! Crowd loved it. DDT, Kotaro goes for what looked like a Gory bomb but it's broken up by Jay. Yakuza/superkick combo on Kotaro gets 2.91 . POWERBOMB NECKBREAKER gets only 2!!!!! The crowd are really into this. Military press into a Death Valley Driver by Jay, Shooting Star Press by Mark gets 2. Knees to the head of Marvin who is thrown out. Springboard Doomsday again, Kotaro blocks the clothesline and uses the momentum to land on his feet behind Jay. I am marking out. That was an insane counter. Kotaro grabs Jay for a German, elbows by Jay to break it up. Marvin has fed Mark his own teeth with a superkick. Tilt a whirl tombstone by Kotaro. Double whip on Mark, drop toehold by Ricky, Kotaro rolls into a reverse Indian deathlock, Ricky with the basement dropkick. Stereo basement dropkicks (again). MINUS WORKRATE!! Double roll through sends Mark across the ring for a double 619 getting two. WIDOW'S PEAK!!! on Mark, Jay breaks it up at 2.75. Commentator said something about Destiny, I presume Kotaro calls it something different. We have a shot exchange, Kotaro wins, Jay in the corner, Ricky runs the apron while Kotaro charges...knee attack from Kotaro, enziguiri from Ricky! Jay is up on Kotaro's shoulders, Dropkick Doomsday Device! That's 3 D's! More gimmick infringement! Assisted Widow's Peak on Mark and it's over.
Thoughts: I can see why this is so highly rated by so many people. The pacing was masterful, you never felt like the action was dragging as there were enough high-speed spots before the finish, and any time you can get a Japanese crowd to react that way, you KNOW you're doing well. I don't do stars, but this was on a par with Briscoes/Kings of Wrestling at Final Battle, which is one of the best tag matches I have seen.
The Way I C 411 This Week
Jordan Linkous still hasn't made up his mind about Loving or Hating pro wrestling.
Bayani is nonplussed about TNA's second hour. Count me in.
That's me done for the week, boys and girls. Join me next week when my intention is to examine the 5 men who really should be champions, but aren't. And probably won't be. Until then, support your local indie, have a McMahon spayed or neutered.
