Wrestling’s 4R’s 9.21.07: HHH back to his old ways, Burke starts the Chase to No Mercy, Impact is Stupid, Finlay wins and More!
Posted by Larry Csonka on 09.21.2007
Weeks like this I salivate at the keyboard...
WWE UNFORGIVEN PODCAST~!
We are back for another podcast adventure! Christi tries to take over the show as we look at the WWE Unforgiven PPV, another bad PPV from WWE with average matches, a dead crowd, another DQ Title match finish and Batista and Khali having the best match of the night. You read that right. We move onto Dear Christi and discuss going to live wrestling shows, women's wrestling, women's MMA and much more! We also muse on the glory of the XBOX 360 and Star Wars LEGO~! An hour of fun just for you!
If that doesn't work, copy and paste the following link into your browser and you'll be fine: http://www.sendspace.com/file/7l1p5l
How the 4R's of wRestling Work!
Here is a quick explanation of the 4R's. I will take the 4 main shows (5 if I go RetRo) of the week: TNA Impact, WWE Raw, ECW on Sci-Fi and WWE Smackdown. If we have a PPV, that show will get a special PPV edition of the R's all to its own. I then group my feelings on the shows in various categories: The Right, the wRong and the Ridiculous. The Right is stuff that worked very well: a great promo, a great match and so on. PuRgatoRy is a section between the right and wrong. It shows equal traits from both sides that cannot be ignored and need discussed. It is not a bad place per say, as things can get remedied or go the wrong way the very next week. The wRong is what it sounds like: bad matches, bad or boring promos and so on. The Ridiculous is stuff that had no right on TV: Stupid angles, Diva searches and so on. And there is always a possibility of a 5th R, which is as bad as they come. This column is supposed to be analytical, and at the right time very critical of the shows, it was the whole reason it was created. This is not a "mark" column, nor a "smark" column, I cannot speak for Geoff, but my goal is to analyze the show from many different fronts, reward the good and call out the bad. There are also occasions where I will bring out a 4th, 5th or even a 6th R to the column, so beware of those~! I will not apologize for my opinions, they are as they are, whether very positive or negative.
iMpact!:
iMpact 9.13.07:
The Right:
Angle vs. Sting - While a lot of people seem let down by this main event, mainly because Joe isn't involved, but from a business standpoint this is probably the best main event that TNA can put on simply because it involves the two biggest names in the company. They are also guys with a track record of being able to draw, albeit not in TNA thus far. With TNA moving to two hours and the company getting more exposure, these are names that people know. You have Kurt Angle, won the Gold Medal in Atlanta in 1996 facing the ICON known as Sting, who spent 99% of his career in WCW, which was based out of Atlanta. The angle to get here is total Russo Sportz Entertainment, but now that the match is set they have four weeks to give it a proper build. Sting has had a great run with TNA in the last 18+ months, almost transforming himself into a Terry Funk like performer. What I mean by that is that when Funk went to ECW he transformed himself and did things you never thought you would see his do, and Sting has done that in TNA. The feud with Abyss is evidence enough. Angle has been on a crusade as of late, arguing with Jarrett and Mantell about there being too much shit and cute finishes in TNA matches. Angle wants to go out there and tell a story, lie he did against Lethal and Abyss at No Surrender. Of he gets his way again and Sting has his working boots on, this could be a damn fine match. Add a hot Atlanta crowd to the mix and it should be a pretty damn cool atmosphere. Sure one could argue that TNA needs to be making stars and they do, but I see nothing wrong with trying to draw a bigger live and PPV crowd with proven entities.
Cage vs. Joe: Morgan gets Involved - Christian Cage was not a happy man this week on Impact. He was pissed off at Jim Cornette and his muscle Matt Morgan for not getting involved in the match sooner at No Surrender. Cage would call Morgan to the ring and run his down for taking too long to save him at the PPV, since Cage is the biggest star in the promotion. The Coalition was about to give Morgan a proper TNA welcome, but Joe hit the ring and speared Cage and they all brawled, and Joe and Morgan would clear the ring. Morgan would then announce that he would be the special enforcer for Cage vs. Joe at Bound for Glory, and there must be a winner. Cornette also came out to reiterate this, and since Christian had opened his mouth and said he could whoop any Samoan, he got one for him next week. Junior Fatu then appeared, looking fatter than ever. That'll put asses in the seats. One could argue a bit that Joe and Morgan are a bit too chummy, considering he told he and Cornette to fuck off, but that's a small gripe which I will let go for now. Overall good stuff here, not perfect, but good.
puRgatory:
It's all about timing… - We got just over 13-minutes again this week, still not there yet kids. This bares repeating, I still feel that they need to offer up as close to as much wrestling time as there are commercials. There are 18-20 minutes of commercials per episode of Impact. So hence forth as I have said, I feel that there should be around 15-18-minutes of wrestling action per week, minimum on Impact. I think that is an important thing. They need to show enough wrestling to make people want to buy a PPV. No one buys a show based off of 2-minute matches, run ins and no finishes. And I would suggest I am right, look at TNA's buyrates.
The Wrong:
Parity Booking at it's Finest! - Looks like I forgot to fill this in, which is odd. This is about Lethal having his balls cut off by booking after the biggest win of his career. Not a smart move by any means. They could have done it a much better way, instead they once again hurt Lethal. It's a shame really.
Black Reign - Dustin Rhodes and his sewer rat suck 56 cocks and need to be banished from my TV as soon as humanly possible. He is out of shape and is emotionally bankrupt in trying to recreate the only thing he was ever awesome at, Goldust. Go home, no show some more Indy shows and be a douche bag somewhere else where I do not have to see you.
The Ridiculous:
Nadda~!
The RUSSO-FN-RIFFIC~!:
The SIX SIDES OF STEEL – NON TITLE - I QUIT – IF ABYSS LOSES HE LEAVES TNA MATCH…WITH NO FINISH~! - Oh boy I have been waiting all week to rant on this bad boy. Between this and the return of HHH to his old ways, this is a tremendous ranting week. So much so for this one that I even broke it down into sub-rants! This shall be fun.
Why? : We have to ask, WHY would they have this match. Reportedly Abyss went to Jim Cornette's office, enraged that he was pulled under the ring by Judas Mesias. He was so angered at this that he demanded a match with Kurt Angle! Yes, it makes no sense to me as well. But Cornette wants something in return for ratings, so we can maintain that 1.1, so Abyss puts up his career. On top of that we get the cage and I quit rules as well. Tremendous.
No Build: Here is one of the biggest beefs I have with this, and it is this. You are going to put on a big ass match like this, WITH 40-MINUTES OF BUILD? I mean, you can't hold this shit off until next week and give it 7-days build? This is why you always get a 1.1. Here is the other problem, you just gave away a steel cage match with no build. You have a PPV every year that features all cage matches, so when you do one outside of that show, it should be built up and actually mean something. This didn't.
Everyone is Dumb: Did no one think to check under the ring again? This isn't Hell in a Cell, the cage doesn't surround the ringside area. Shouldn't Cornette have had people checking under the ring? Shouldn't Abyss have taken a peek perhaps? You are all dumb, the stupid, it hurts!
34 Stipulations: Deal lord, what the hell is this shit? We cannot just have a rematch, but we have to make a match that almost defies logic! First of all it is a six sides of steel cage match, it is non-title, it is an I Quit match and on top of that if Abyss loses he will leave TNA forever! Vince Russo is not a minimalist, we can say that for sure. The greatest part of it all is that they all ended up meaning NOTHING when the match was done, he ruined all 54 stipulations in one fail swoop! That takes talent.
No Finish: So we have all of these stipulations, you have to win by making the opponent quit and if Abyss loses he leaves TNA. Brother couldn't even get a title match out of this? And since it was a Non-title match he couldn't get a win and then get beat down? OF COURSE NOT because in the world of Vince Russo the matches mean jack shit, IT IS ALL THE STORY! It is just a shame that the story sucks a cock. Please stop digging into the 1997 playbook Vince; here's a clue, write some original shit!
Gore doesn't work in mainstream wrestling/We have seen it 76 times this year: If you do it right, and you do it only once in a blue moon, gore will work in mainstream wrestling. But there is another reason that people aren't exactly flocking to TNA, and that is the gore factor. Mainstream American is not down with this shit, if they were ECW Original would still be around and CZW would have a TV deal. But they don't because it isn't cool. No one wants to turn in to see some creepy looking dude slash up another guys arm with glass. If this was a once in a lifetime angle for shock value, then yes it would work, but the fact that this is a near weekly occurrence for Abyss and not only do people don't want to see it, but the ones that do like it will be turned off because it is the same old shit with the same old guy. That's a fact.
Booking like it's 1997: And once again you could see that Vinnie Ru had his fingerprints all over this segment.
-MATCH WITH TOO MANY STIPULATIONS: CHECK
-MATCH WITH STIPULATION PROMISING A WINNER: CHECK
-MATCH WITH NO FINISH: CHECK
-MATCH WITH STIPULATION NOT FULFILLED: CHECK
-MATCH WITH ANGLE THAT WAS COOL IN 1997 THAT HE WROTE: CHECK
Good work Vince, way to fuck that one in the ass. For all of you people that say he has no power, this entire thing was a classic Vinnie Ru angle, trust me. Stop booking stupid shit!
SmackDown!: By: "The Whole Geoffin Show" Geoff Eubanks
SmackDown 9.14.07
The Right
"Khali smells like a goat" – My second favorite sign of the night. Now had it said "Nature's Little Oopsie"…
I can't say a bad syllable about the match between Batista and Khali. The champion was booked as the unstoppable giant he should be and, heaven help me, was flawless in driving home that point. This match ended in a DQ when Khali slapped on The Vice and refused to let go, even when Batista made the ropes, which was absolutely brilliant. The belt wasn't on the line, so why would he care about winning this match when he could weaken or eliminate the stiffest threat to his title? I even loved the way the interpreter refused to help the referees stop Khali from squishing Big Dave's head like a grape. Heading into the PPV, both Rey Mysterio and Batista look to be in bad shape and Khali is as dominating and threatening as ever. Simple, consistent, smart and effective booking…great stuff, here.
"Matt for Champ" – My nomination for sign of the night. I'm questioning if McMahonagement has a clear way they want to go with this story, because Matt Hardy & MVP appear to be playing this really loosely, as if, perhaps, testing the waters for a possible MVP turn, most likely via the "earned mutual respect" route, or if they want to keep it simple, the odd couple existing to keep the WWETTTs in play until a new team can be formed, and Matt eventually wins the UST. There's still a lot of ways to go with this story can go and I don't see myself being disappointed at all no matter how we wrap things up. It was a little odd seeing MVP lose clean to a technical sinkhole like Domino, but, with Matt going over Deuce last week, Lenny & Squiggy needed to have some momentum leading to the PPV. Matt's sarcastic cheerleading on the mic was a scream and I was actually surprised there weren't more pro-MVP cheers, or at least that the "SUCKS!" response was so overwhelming. Nonetheless, this is still the best story on TV and I'm absolutely loving it!
Mikey wins! Horowitz wins! Shannon wiiiiiiiins! – The match was just a touch sloppy in a couple minute ways, but Jamie Noble and Shannon Moore had a nifty little five minute contest tonight. It's little secret I love my CruiserWeights and wish they were given more and this was, to me, proof of why they should. And, of course, as a card-carrying Moore-on, I was stoked to see Shannon get his hand raised after outsmarting Noble into thinking Horny Bastard McMahon was outside the ring, distracting Noble long enough to score the schoolboy (hmm…should I rephrase that…?) for the pin. And the crowd was totally into this contest tonight! The discerning ear heard the "JAY-me NO-ble" chant start up midway through the match, which was soon followed by a larger portion of the crowd adding "SUCKS!" afterward. I was pleasantly surprised at the duration and emphasis this chant enjoyed, implying that the fans are really into this program. They've been given a reason to care and they do…fancy! I still fear for Noble's credibility following this program, but if the fans remain interested, there's virtually an explanation for any situation in the world of pro wrestling and if the action is solid, so the better!
We want blood – You know, once the folks in attendance tonight come out of their shells, they'll probably find themselves to be quite outgoing.
Cole: "That was a HELL of a fight!"
JBL: "We just watched two men beat the HELL out of each other!"
They weren't exaggerating. Finlay displayed a mastery of picking apart his rival Kane and truly had him on the ropes, figuratively and literally. Cole overuses the term "putting on a wrestling clinic" for my taste, but here tonight it was perfectly warranted. I appreciated the hardcore aspects of the Belfast Brawl as an old ECW fan, but was even more impressed by the fact that actual weapons weren't the mainstay of the match, too. Kane's efforts to fight out from underneath Finlay's onslaught were formidable and I was expecting him to go over here again, but NO! Finlay actually picked up Kane and nailed him with The Celtic Cross! Of course, that makes sense because Kane got a clean pinfall on Finlay last week in a tag match, so, as with the Matt & MVP/D&D situation, Finlay needed to go over here to allow him momentum heading into the PPV. It seems to me that this Belfast Brawl might have made more sense to have run on Sunday, but I'm not going to complain about having it here for free. It ain't my money.
"Chuck has been so darn impressive" – Thanks, Michael Cole, and watch your fuckin mouth…there's kids here and shit. I have to agree. I was, at first, skeptical of Chuck Palumbo. Mind you, I've always felt he had more talent than he was ever allowed to display, but he really seems to have developed a higher sense of focus in Japan that is really coming through here, and, as I said last week, the addition of Michelle McCool has really helped to ingratiate him to the fans and a string of solid performances has done nothing to hurt him. What I'd like to see is for Michelle to alter her sense of dress to reflect a more biker-y image, such that the two appear to be more consolidated. Plus, I know JT would prolly get a jolly or two from seeing her in chaps. Not that he deserves it for being so snotty texting with me last night or anything. Buttlord.
This match started off as a ladies' singles contest and was about as good a ladies' match as you're likely going to see on free TV (and better than a lot on Mondays, for that matter). I don't think we even saw Trish and Lita trade chops the way Michelle and Victoria did tonight! The bout was made a mixed tag during the break following Kenny, who was seconding his foxy bad girl (so said her short), tossing water from his pail onto Michelle to startle her (or see how translucent that silver top might become), prompting Chuck to mow him down with a nasty clothesline, their brawl spilling into the ring. The ensuing tag was fun and consistent, and makes me think this should have been the situation in the first place, rather than pairing up Palumbo and Ol' Two Strikes Chris Masters. Kenny looks terribly outclassed, though, and I fear for his future, but Palumbo looks great and I can't stress how Right he and Michelle are together. I just don't get JBL's constant reference to Victoria as Elvira…although she'd look HAWT in the Mistress of the Night's costume. Maybe Halloween…?
Le finale grand – We had the go-home promo for the Mark Henry/Taker feud here tonight. I've been a big fan of this lead-up for a couple reasons. The videos were all absolutely tremendous and totally creepy. Yes, this premise is one we've seen time and again, and had not the promos been SO captivating and well-produced you can bet your replica title belt this series would have found itself much lower down on the R's; however, for as many times as we've seen this story unfold leading to a Taker return, I can't recall a better lead-up. You can actually FEEL the presence of The Undertaker approach, like the impending autumn as the sunsets sooner in late August. And, as I've mentioned each week, credit must be given to Henry, too, as his reaction has been perfect each week, his confidence eroding a little more with each installment, forcing himself to man up, reminding himself of the propaganda he's been laying on us. Great build and, as I've said before, I'd be really interested to see the match, even though we all know how it's going to turn out.
Get out your rice – The wedding is next week! We saw the respective bachelor and bachelorette parties backstage. Despite the oily fat guy in the bikini underpants showing to spread cheer to the Csonka home (and thank GOD that's all he spread), we saw Butch fucking Reed on WWE-TV for the first time since Captain Lou started wearing rubber bands hanging off his face. But…hey…wasn't he a blond…? I'm excited about this wedding angle coming to fruition. I normally hate wrestling weddings, but have high hopes for this situation…let's hope I'm not wRong! If nothing else, I wanna see T-Long do the electric slide at the reception.
purgatory:
Nadda!
The wrong:
Nadda!
The Ridiculous:
Nadda!
Remember people, show Geoff some love by emailing him here: yostankmama@hotmail.com
RAW!:
RAW 9.17.07:
The Right:
Orton, Coach and the Cena's - The drama involving RNDY Orton, John Cena, Cena Classic and the Coach all continued this week on Raw. We kicked things off with John Cena coming to the ring, saying that he felt FABULOUS! He was a happy panda indeed. He thanks his dad for being brave and showing up at the show and he was happy that they put Orton in his place. Coach came out, and he was angry. He says that after what Cena and Cena classic did at the show, including putting his hands on Coach himself. He reiterated the fact that Cena and Orton would face at No Mercy in a Last Man Standing match, but also said that he made Orton vs. Cena for tonight! Of course he meant Cena Classic and Randy Orton. All through out the evening we got little deals with them, Cena was trying to get Cena Classic to bow out of the match, but Cena Classic refused because he knew the title was the most important thing to Cena. Coach would inform Cena that he also had a match, and if he won the match, Cena Classic would not have to wrestle. Cena would go to the ring and his opponent would be SANTINO, who was out to prove something to Maria. Cena beat his ass and was about to win the match, but Randy Orton ran in for the DQ finish. He and Santino beat down Cena, and then pulled a TNA and handcuffed him to the ropes. Coach then appeared and said Cena had to win via Pin or Submission; and since he didn't Cena Classic would have to fight Orton. Cena Classic would take an ass whooping while Cena no so Classic would have to watch on Cody Rhodes ran in at one point, he had offered to take Cena Classic's place, but was turned down by the Coach. Orton would toss him and go back to killing Cena Classic. Cena Jr. would unscrew the bottom rope and get into the ring, but just too late as Cena Classic ate an RKO. This was good stuff here that I really enjoyed, it's just a shame some people are so set on hating Cena for no reason because this is such a tremendous baby face story.
puRgatory:
Vince and his Little Bastard - I don't have a lot to say for this one. Sure it got some laughs, but as feared I don't think that the people were that happy. Sure it is funny, but as the rating showed this week I feel that the people were overall disappointed. It is funny overall, but with the suspension to Kennedy it looks to be taking away viewers. Dropping from a 3.9 to a 3.3 is nothing to sneeze at. But as I said, it is funny, so it isn't all bad.
Hardy vs. Shelton - As far as matches go Raw kicked off this week with an IC Title match between Jeff Hardy and Shelton Benjamin. They had a really good match to open up the show, going through a commercial break and keeping the crowd into the match. They worked a lot of near falls, and they hit all of the trademark stuff that the crowd expected going into the match. In the end Jeff wins with the senton and all is right in the world. But while it was a damn fine match, it again is one of those mixed message matches. The fact is that Shelton has been booked as nothing but a jobber, the previous week HHH all but squashed him, he has no credibility in the eyes of the fans, and why the hell would he earn a title shot for this? This was a lot like Burke vs. Punk at Unforgiven. They have to give us a reason to care about Shelton, they cannot just throw him out there from time to time and hope that a flashy move will make us care. Speaking of that, remember when I said Shelton always shows signs of choking when he gets a chance, near the end of the match when he did the jump from the mat to the top rope, and almost didn't make it. When I saw the match I never got into it, because I never believed that Shelton would win, not for one second. But the poor guy has confidence issues, and that is also from the way they treat and book him. Good match, no one cared; and why should they?
The Wrong:
Daivari vs. Hacksaw? - On Raw we had a "Flag Match" this week. For what reason you ask? Just to have one apparently. Daivari was in the ring, and I was actually expecting Cody Rhodes as they had been feuding a bit. But no, what we got was Daivari vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan. You read that right, Daivari vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan. Why you ask? Well it could be filler, or maybe Daivari failed a piss test and they wanted to humiliate him. There was no build for this, there was no explanation on commentary as to why we had this match, and we just had it with no reason. It sucked, and is the kind of shit that you put on Heat, a dark match to make people happy or the house shows as a special little attraction. It doesn't belong on Raw, sorry Hacksaw.
Repetitive Women - As I have mentioned many times, you can only have so much originality in a division with five or six people. You have one as champion, in this case Candice, and then you let Beth, Mickie, Jillian, Melina and Maria have variations of women's matches all around it. And it is not that the matches are bad, they are usually fine, but you can only see the same thing so many times before you just don't care anymore. I did like the angle after the match where Beth who had watched the entire match came in to hand Candice her belt, which plays into their eventual rematch.
The Ridiculous:
Nadda~!
The Ri-GOD DAMN-diculous:
Welcome Back, HUNTOR the BARBERRIER~! - I suppose this is where I admit to being wrong. For being a fool for being happy that HHH was coming back. I had figured with this last injury and his status in the company that he would come back and do what is right for business. He's a smart guy, I really thought this. But the signs started creeping up right away, he destroyed Umaga, basically squashed HHH but Monday on Raw, we truly had the return of HUNTOR THE BARBERRIER~!
First of all there is the fact that the placed HHH in a handicap match. I am so sick of HHH in handicap matches, I got my share of it last year. I bitched all last year about the year of handicap matches that was 2006. I hated them, and the main reason I hated them was that the people at the disadvantage ALWAYS won (DX) and the people with the advantage (Spirit Squad) were buried on a weekly basis. It was bullshit, they used it too much and it helped no one but HHH and HBK, because the Spirit Squad sure the hell isn't around because they got BERRIED.
Secondly, they put HHH in there against the TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS. These men should destroy him because they are tag team champions. But we all knew they wouldn't because nobody gives a flying fuck about them, and HHH wouldn't job to them because if Cena beat them clean (which was bullshit as well) HHH has to! Complete bullshit as he beat the tag champs with little to no effort and actually got the pin on Cade with the SPINEBUSTER. He didn't even care enough to use his finisher on him! BULLSHIT!
But now it gets interesting. Carlito runs in and they get the three on one beat down on HHH. I fully expected HHH to make his own comeback, but much to my surprise London and Kendrick rushed the ring to make the save. Rock on, this makes sense since they are feuding with Cade and Murdoch, and if you want to get deeper they are Shawn's boys and they are helping Shawn's best pal. They all clear the ring, and they are happy and want to shake with HHH, and it was then I knew they were fucked. HHH had a look on his face, kind of a "who the fuck are you" look. He shook with them and then…BERRIAL time! That's right, HHH is a lone wolf, HE DON'T NEED NO STINKIN FRIENDS!
What bullshit. At the PPV I discussed how NO ONE cared about the tag title match, because WWE has not made a concerted effort to get the teams over. HERE WAS THE CHANCE. You could have done it a few ways. First of all the clear the ring, they shake and they have a loose association from here on out. If HHH thanks then and treats them as friends, then people will care about them. Or they could have done the old "match breaks into a 6-man match," HHH, London and Kendrick win and that gets them over because they teamed with HHH. Then if you really want to keep HHH as a loner, have a short deal in the back where they come up to him and he says, "Listen, I know your Shawn's boys and I appreciate the help, but the Game only has one partner. Thanks, but no thanks." That way he thanks them and appreciates it, but tells them that he only has one partner. Also letting people know that they trained under HBK helps them get over more as well.
In the end this was nothing but BULLSHIT! HHH is bullet proof and can give a little for the betterment of the roster. But he didn't because he is an insecure fuck and is worried about "HIS SPOT" which he will never lose. What an asshole. In closing; Cade, Murdoch, London, Kendrick and Carlito you have all been…
HHH, you're improving in your mature days. Five guys in one segment was a truly impressive "BERRIAL."
ECW on Sci-Fi!:
ECW 9.18.07:
The Right:
The Elimination Chase to No Mercy - ECW kicked off this week with young Elijah Burke coming to the ring. He wanted to let us know that CM Punk got lucky, and in 10 matches, he would win 9 of them. Well, he already lost the one, so he has some work ahead of him. He said that the next time he got his shot, he would win the ECW Title. This brought out KEVIN THE VAMPIRE! KEVIN THE VAMPIRE had issue with this whole speech, sighting that young Elijah had his chance and should step aside for some fresh young challenger, like himself. As they argued Hollywood Dreamer came to the ring, I love Dreamer trying to cover the bald with the bandana, classic. Hollywood Dreamer then enlightened young Elijah and KEVIN THE VAMPIRE to the fact that he has done what they have never done; win the ECW Title. As they argued, Stevie Richards of all people came out. Hollywood Dreamer tried to get Stevie on his side, but he said EH EH~! He wanted his shot at the title since he was not pinned last week. Armando Estrada's Music then came out to the ring and said, "enough of this shit, I have a plan." "The Elimination Chase to No Mercy." All four guys would compete RIGHT NOW, IN THIS VERY RING in a four-way match, the loser was out and the other three went on to next week to continue "The Elimination Chase to No Mercy." Thankfully there weren't three screens of rules or a bunch of contrived shit, otherwise this would have treaded into TNA territory. Now young Elijah, KEVIN THE VAMPIRE, Hollywood Dreamer and Stevie might not exactly set the world on fire, but it is a simple enough set up that will last a few weeks and oh yes, they all want the title! That is good stuff. They then proceeded to have a match that went through two commercial breaks and was close to 17-minutes in total, and it was a damn fine match. They all stepped it up, they all worked hard and it felt like it meant something. It was better than about everything on Unforgiven, that's for sure. Stevie took the loss when Burke, with some help from Thorn got the pin and it all worked. This was good shit, Dusty, if this was your plan, rock on brother.
puRgatory:
Big Daddy V vs. Los Hombre Del Boogey - The weeks and months of build have finally come to a head, and it was time for Big Daddy V to face Los Hombre Del Boogey. Now we all knew that this would not be a pretty match, but the feud was built well and occasionally, there is nothing wrong with a good freak show match, which is exactly what this was. As expected, Los Hombre Del Boogey looked fine, not totally jobbed, but Big Daddy V dominated and got the clean, and dominating victory to continue his extremely, pardon the pun, dominating run in ECW. But the problem now lies, what do you do with Big Daddy V? They built the match with Boogey, but that then excluded Big Daddy from "The Elimination Chase to No Mercy." So now he has rolled through everyone he faced easily, but he is not anywhere near contention. Will they go back to weekly squash matches with him? Do they even know what to do with him? I doubt it. They are confused because now they have created this monster, but are afraid to go all the way with him. What I would do is this. Since he was excluded from "The Elimination Chase to No Mercy" due to his match with Boogey, I would have him face Stevie Richards next week. Obviously Big Daddy wins. The next two weeks he faces the other losers of "The Elimination Chase to No Mercy" so that he can claim that not only is he still undefeated, but that he also beat all of these men as well. Then when presumably Burke loses again, you have him beat him as well and then you make the run and push for Big Daddy V as the champion. You've built the monster, you might as well go all the way with him.
The Wrong:
Miz Hates Balls, Kelly Loves Balls, it's all very complicated. Oh, and Parity booking! - Again this week we had more in the drama of Kelly loves Balls. We began with the Miz coming to the ring with the Extreme Expose, and like last week, Kelly had the teddy bear that Balls had given her. Miz explained that he was awesome and had these ladies, but decided to share with everyone, by allowing them to dance. They did their little routine to "Push It," which made me feel older than I am, and I still contend that Kelly is the Kim page of the group. Moving on, this led to Balls having a match, with Mike Knox, who beat him last week. And in true TNA fashion we still get no full explanation as to why Knox is back and why exactly he is facing Balls. So moving on again, in another moment straight from TNA we decide to PARITY BOOK and have Balls win this week. Because no one can get a one upon another guy, good work. The match was there, Balls is working hard and Knox is still limited, but improving. Balls wins and then asks Kelly to go STEADY~! Actually he just asked her on a date, and the Expose pulled her away and MOCKED BALLS! How rude. I don't know, I am just not digging the deal; it feels forced and not particularly executed well. Maybe it is just me, I don't know.
The Ridiculous:
NADDA~!
READER RANTS~!:
From Chris on Unforgiven -
This PPV was TERRIBLE!!! It wasn't worth the beer bill at buffalo wild wings, which was actually the same as if I would have bought it at home. The Triple threat with Rey, Batista, and Kali, I liked it. I liked Khali's sell to the 619, stumble back, the big guy straight legged fall to the ass, kinda like when Yokozuna would see that final clothesline that actually finally knocks him over. The rest of the night was just background music to the group of us to drink and talk through.
From Dave on wrestling as a whole -
I've been reading your column - as well as the entire site - for a while now and I have a question related to wrestling.
How can you - a fan - stomach the crap that McMahon and company dish out? The leprechaun (sp?) angle? Cena's father being beaten AGAIN? I know there is some suspension of belief while watching wrestling, but wow this is really scraping the bottom of the barrel.
I'm an old school fan (Hogan/Andre in Shea, Backlund's long ass title reign, AWA Road Warriors) and I absolutely refuse to buy a WWF(e) PPV. All the PPV buys do is encourage them to continue to put on this crap programming
Now I'm not a huge work rate mark (I didn't think Benoit was all that exciting, nor Eddy) and I like a decent mix of entertainment with my "sports entertainment", but with the current WWF(E) product, you get neither.
I hope you get .torrents of the PPV's and don't waste your money on the shit WWE calls wrestling....er, sports entertainment
From Ralph -
Actually a PPV costs me $46-$48 as my cable company adds various fees and taxes on top of the $40. The price along with the uneven quality has caused me to stop buying them after having purchased every one for many years.
From Dan -
I'm reading they are doing Cena/Orton LMS...AGAIN. This is the 3rd Last Man Standing title match on ppv this year, with Cena/Umaga, and Batista/Taker. I know everyone criticizes TNA for too many gimmicks matches, but does WWE have any OTHER gimmick matches. How about, First Blood, or 3 Stages of Hell, or even Hell in a Cell (not done this year I believe). Last Man Standing matches by definition means a lot of laying around and counting and don't often showcase the hatred needed to cap off a feud like this. And what a slap in the face to the paying customer, when they get a 7 minute title match and then they book the rematch right after.
From Manu, Jay, Jonathan, Zach and about 30 others -
Welcome Back, HUNTOR the BARBERRIER~! - I suppose this is where I admit to being wrong. For being a fool for being happy that HHH was coming back. I had figured with this last injury and his status in the company that he would come back and do what is right for business. He's a smart guy, I really thought this. But the signs started creeping up right away, he destroyed Umaga, basically squashed HHH but Monday on Raw, we truly had the return of HUNTOR THE BARBERRIER~!
