The Thursday Small-For-All News Report: 09.27.07
Posted by Jeff Small on 09.27.2007
And I Thought that I was Supposed to Save you All…
Wait for it…
Wait for it…
Keep waiting…
Yes, yes…
WHAMMY!!!!!!!
Welcome back to the Small-For-All! I'm sure you all missed me last week and were quite disappointed with my replacement, fellow Heat cohort Mr. Scott Slimmer. Truth is I wanted Slimmer to co-host for me for reasons you will see below. While I wouldn't call Slimmer's job commendable, he always does a good enough job for me.
But that was last week and truth is I really didn't miss much in the world of wrestling. Sure John Cena passed the year mark in his title reign but is that really all that significant (I guess, if you are into titles)? I surely don't think so. So I guess I can say I'm lucky that I picked a good week to miss. As for where I was, I was in Minneapolis (don't cha know). Between a Twins game (baseball mediocrity!) and frequent trips to the Mall of America, I thoroughly enjoyed my work excursion.
And unlike last week, we sure have a lot to talk about today. Hell my favorite topic this evening has nothing, I mean NOTHING, to do with what's going on in the world of sports entertainment. Of course, there's much in the worlds of WWE and TNA for me to talk about, but this one takes the cake…
RANDOM AWESOME SHIT OF THE WEEK
From a NSFW site , Gangrel is set to direct pornography!
The New Porn Order has signed Former WWE wrestler Gangrel to a 12 movie exclusive directing deal. Gangrel, now officially known as The Vampire Warrior, will make his directorial debut with "Miami Rump Shakerz 2" set to be released in November. In addition to directing, he will also be making appearances as part of the NPO team.
"I am thrilled to be joining the New Porn Order and taking this step into a new level of my career. Directing offers a new challenge that I am very excited to be taking on. I look forward to the many great films that will come from this union." said The Vampire Warrior.
So many talking points here:
1. New Porn Order… what a name! I wonder if Rob Black is financing them.
2. Miami Rump Shakerz 2!!! You would think Gangrel would direct something a little more gothic
3. I wonder if Luna shall make a cameo in any of them (ew, gross)!
4. Gangrel should totally use his shaggin' theme music
5. And of course instead of giving bloodbaths…
Personally, I don't think there's any other news this week that can even hold a candle to the mere possibility of Gangrel directing 12 pornos! However, I guess I must truck on and deliver the rest of this week's big stories…
NEWS FROM TITAN TOWERS
Go Go Jericho Go!
I guess if Gangrel wasn't signed to direct Miami Rump Shakerz 2 then this would be the big news of the week. You see the short "Save Us.22" clip this week on Raw has spun the IWC into a tizzy. Some (cough*Wilcox.22*cough) are quite sure that this vignette will lead to the return of Chris Jericho, last seen retiring at the hands of John Cena in August of 2005. Other speculation leads everywhere from Sid, a new OVW superstar, D'lo Brown, and my personal favorite, Pete Gas.
However, Jericho is the odds on favorite and sadly it's already gotten to the point that if it's anyone else but Jericho, there will be many disappointed wrestling fans. Wilcox did a pretty good job breaking down why it could possibly be Chris Jericho that there's no need for me to repeat it here. Oh wait, not everyone reads Wilcox's stuff, so maybe I should.
Well actually I won't. Personally, this hooplah brings up bad memories of that "Number 23" movie. Really, anyone with deductive reasoning can use enough logic to assume certain instances. If you truly believe something, then no one's going to change your mind. Myself, I just hope it's not Billy Gunn.
Remember These Names Kids, For When They Get Fired in a Few Months
The WWE sent out a press release today highlighting a bunch of new hires. From the press release, "World Wrestling Entertainment Inc., the global leader in sports entertainment, has announced a new global organization. Shane McMahon, Executive Vice President, Global Media, is expanding WWE's operations into London, Shanghai, Tokyo, Sao Paulo, Toronto and Sydney in an effort to tap into WWE's strong worldwide appeal."
Months ago, I reported on the possibility that the WWE was thinking about running territories overseas (Mexico, UK, Japan among others). However, after the spring of WELLNESSS~ and BENOIT, it surely seemed as if that idea was thrown under the rug. Until now…
It's a great idea for the WWE to start catering to their global live audience. With the US market currently at a standstill/slowdown, it pays for the WWE to find their revenue elsewhere. With a President now firmly in charge of making these decisions, it allows each individual territory to receive more attention and also allows for customizations to be made to cater to the home audience. For instance, how awesome would it be to log-into WWE Italy and see basically a shrine to Santino Morella and Nunzio? Hell, I would rather spend hours at that site than the normal WWE.com.
On a sidenote: does anyone else miss the individual superstar webpages (such as the Smackdown hotel for the Rock) that the WWE used to do in 1999? (SAVEUS.22)
The next step for the company is to clearly think about acquiring various independent promotions in these regions. For if the WWE decides to run new global territories, they surely need a larger roster.
The Ultimate Dream Match Brings in a Ho-Hum Buyrate
From Gerweck.net, "The Great American Bash PPV (headlined by John Cena vs. Bobby Lashley) did buys of 230,000. Last year's show (headlined by Rey Mysterio vs. King Booker) did 232,000."
Now there are both good and bad news from this buyrate. First the good…
Sure, it looks as if a buyrate drop from the year before is nothing to be happy about; however, this was the smallest drop in buyrates for a non-Big Five PPV in a really long time (okay, since Judgment Day which increased buys by 2,000). But with the previous two PPVs doing substantially lower numbers (this year's Vengeance only did 28% less buys than the year previous while One Night Stand fell 39%), I think the WWE should be happy.
The bad news is that the tri-branded PPVs haven't made a dent in the consumer's wallets. Outside of the main event, I barely remember what happened at this year's Great American Bash, which is quite sad considering my wealth of knowledge. Since Backlash, there has not been a solid WWE PPV and perhaps people are starting to finalize realize that. That or Cena/Lashley was just not as appealing as a Punjabi Prison match between the Undertaker and the Great Khali. I hope that's not the case.
Clearly the World Has Frozen Over
I guess bitches really ain't shit.
Quick N Dirty News
From the usuals…
Big Dick Johnson is in charge of writing the Teddy Long storyline
Well if it leaves him off of our screens, I guess I'm okay with it. The wedding was fine but I'm not a fan so far of this coma storyline.
Monty Brown has parted ways with the WWE
Well he couldn't stay at home forever. Here's hoping for a "Smooth" return one day for the former NFL player.
The Undertaker has removed the "Sara" tattoo from his neck
And they said love was permanent.
10 years ago this week: the first Stone Cold Stunner on Mr. McMahon.
ECW on Sci-Fi did its second lowest ever rating with a 1.1
Ha, so that's what Impact does on an every week basis! Good to know that the same amount of people want to watch Big Daddy V as they do Kurt Angle.
Johnny the Bull Stamboli has underwent a new gimmick entitled "Redrum." The gimmick debuted against Val Venis at a recent house show.
While Stamboli won't be signed by the WWE until he's fully off of the ‘roids (motherfucker gorilla pressed slammed Rosey back in the day!), at least he knows he can always feud with the Boogeyman on ECW.
Well It's Not the Same as Punting Fathers in the Head…
NEWS FROM O-TOWN
Finally…
Thank God that TNA has finally gotten their two-hour block of television programming. For the last few months, I have not been able to sleep at night as I've been too busy thinking of how much better TNA programming will be once they hit two hours. Well the first round of television tapings are over and it's unfortunate to say, but once again, TNA screwed the pooch.
While I won't be spoiling their first two hour show, I will point out a colossal mistake that TNA made. You see the first match to be shown on the new TNA Impact is Rhino vs. Black Reign.
Yes, two ex-WWE superstars (one of them very washed up) will be the first glimpse of TNA to a new audience. While this show is not as monumental as the first Spike TV episode, it is still very important to most television viewers. Loyal fans that have been clamoring for a two hour slot won't care about the opening match. However, new fans who might see an advertisement for the two hour slot or heard about it from a friend probably won't be pleased with what they first see.
Rhino vs. Black Reign is an awful opening match on what is one of the biggest shows in TNA History. How fucking hard would it have been to showcase the X-Division first? You know, TNA did it right two years ago when they debuted on television by showcasing first what couldn't be seen on WWE programming. Now when someone turns on the upcoming two hour TNA, they will be subjected to watching Black Reign.
Furthermore, no physical changes were made to the Impact Zone. A facelift to the set would have been appreciative. Sure, Smackdown hasn't changed its set in 6 years but that doesn't mean us wrestling fans don't appreciate aesthetic changes. I wonder if TNA just doesn't get it…
The Latest Round of Contract Negotiations
I figured instead of making three different topics, I would combine all the matters here. Note: all news is taken from the Wrestling Observer…
Ron Killings' TNA status is questionable at the moment. He's only committed through the Pacman Jones angle, which is scheduled to end at next month's pay-per-view. Jeff Jarrett is going to make another attempt with the Tennessee Titans to allow Jones to wrestle at Bound For Glory. If they allow him to wrestle, they'll probably extend the deal with him. If he's not allowed to wrestle, his deal that runs through Bound For Glory probably won't be extended.
I'm really torn on what I would like to see done with Ron Killings. He's being booked pretty well with this Pacman Jones angle and I would think that TNA could find a good storyline for him. However, if he's not happy with TNA, then I'm fine with him leaving for greener pastures. Hell, I would be interested in seeing what Killings could do on Smackdown (he's surely ain't going to be placed on Raw).
Junior Fatu still isn't under contract to TNA, though he's committed to next week's Impact tapings. He's expected to have a solid role on both 2-hour shows. The ball seems to be in his court because TNA is trying to make him a full-timer, and he has yet to fully commit to them. He wanted to use the "Kishi" name he's been using overseas and on indies, but TNA didn't want to risk receiving a nasty letter from WWE's legal department.
Is Rikishi the best option for TNA at this point? The last time I saw him in the WWE, he was only over because of his dancing. And if he's not dancing in TNA, then he's not worth anything to them.
Several TNA wrestlers have talked about leaving the promotion. Those wrestlers include Homicide, Hernandez, Sonjay Dutt, Chris Sabin, and Alex Shelley. Management has asked all of them to stay until the 2 hour show stars, at which point they'll get more television time. A few of the wrestlers are interested in leaving TNA for Japan.
You know, I could have sworn reading that Alex Shelley just resigned with the company. That's the thing about these dirtsheets, you never know the truth sometimes until it bites you in the ass. As for the others, LAX has been royally screwed ever since Konnan left the company. What was once the hottest act in TNA has been downgraded quite substantially. Sure there's the Ultimate X match between them and XXX at Bound For Glory but that's only being used for the sake of adding a gimmick match to hopefully increase buys. Even at these TV tapings, there's no time being devoted to the LAX/XXX feud. Personally, I would mark out to see JBL bring in LAX to feud with Rey Mysterio.
COMING ATTRACTIONS
Oh, news about Slimmer, I almost forgot…
In TWO WEEKS, the arrival of the SMALL AND SLIMMER BASEMENT DWELLER VARIETY HOUR! You have been warned…
