Truth B Told 10.11.07: Everyone’s a Critic
Posted by Bayani Domingo on 10.11.2007
If you don’t have something nice to say…Blog it!! Do wrestling fans complain too much? Yeah, you know the answer, but read this anyways.
It seems like there are a good number of fans that had "No Mercy" in their review of last weekend's WWE PPV. Then again there are those who say that it was one of the better PPVs and story based PPV's at this, in several months. There are those fans who say that it was a bigger waste of time then playing "I Never" with Lita, and those who immediately began making sweet, sweet love to their Randy Orton "Wrestlin' Buddies" when he won the title back from HHH in the main event. No, I don't believe they make "Wrestlin' Buddies" anymore but I'm sure a few of you actually took the time to sew your own. I just hope you opted for the machine washable cotton/polyester blend. There is a tremendous gap between both parties and there seems to just be no middle ground in sight. But the real question this raises in my mind is why people are so quick to criticize just as quick as people are to defend. Is there really any pleasing us "wrestling fans"?
Back in the early days of wrestling there was never this kind of criticism, bitching, and name calling. Mainly because we all lived in Kayfabe and isolation from the rest of the wrestling world. If you were a kid when you first became a fan then you were pretty much wrapped up in a world you thought was more real than a matter of a few guys in a room "booking" a storyline. If you were a fan from way back in the days of the "territories" then you pretty much had only a few sources to compare if even that and you didn't know "work rate" from "buy rate". If anything the complaints weren't about "booking" or "match quality" it was about the "bad guy" beating the good guy when you knew that just wasn't right. Ah, such simpler times, and as much as we can say we wish we could go back to those days, we simply can't. Then again, would you really be any happier to never have seen an Indy, Puro, or Lucha show in your life and realize that the top rope can be for more than just "Ax Handles"?
We are by nature a very fickle and fussy group of individuals, us wrestling fans. It seems that with the advent of "Nationally Televised Wrestling Shows", the Internet, and the new crop of readily available DVD distributors out there we have more access to more information and companies than ever before. It seems as though the more informed we are, the more opinionated we get. But, of course OUR opinions are the only ones that matter. I used to think that the root of the problem was just this very thing, an issue of mind over matter; "If I don't mind, it don't matter". But I think I think what this really speaks to is the nature of wrestling itself and more or less the booking. If there is one single thing that gets more criticism than anything else is the booking in a company. You can argue what you want about "movesets", "match quality", or even the wrestlers themselves but ultimately 85% of what you see in wrestling is due to the booking. If you are booked to have a 2-minute squash match then the quality isn't going to be there. If you are booked as a "chicken shit heel" then your moveset probably is going to consist of chin locks and punches, if you are booked to look like a jobber then chances are you'll be perceived as one. Really what it comes down to is that people complain the most about the booking. But now that all of televised wrestling is more or less "Sports Entertainment", why is it we have such a different reaction than we have to either "Sports" or "entertainment"?
Wrestling is such an odd form of entertainment because it's not technically a "sport" and it's not necessarily a "TV Show" in that there are tours, rules and regulations that govern it differently than a simple TV show. Do you think the government is after "Survivor" because a male contestant looks too ‘ripped'? Why not go after "Kid Nation" considering the child labor laws? We complain about what's on our TV because we watch "Wrestling shows" and they have such a unique appeal and challenge to them. Most TV shows are taped and edited in a way that you get a great finished product each week based on how the audience reacts and not how the writers THINK the audience should react. If a joke is played out and the audience is silent, there is an immediate re-write. If it works, they use that take. Wrestling isn't the same. You from week to week not knowing if you'll get a hilarious episode of Friends, or a clunker like "Homeboys in Space". People who love "The Office" or "Heroes" seem to love each and every episode because they tend to deliver what you want and expect each week, with the best shows having a fairly low deviation from the worst shows of the season. That's not exactly the case with RAW, or Smackdown, or Impact (especially Impact). You can love RAW but if you think that absolutely every episode is great and just wickedly entertaining then you are HIGH. If you are the kind of person who says every episode of RAW has been compelling, brilliantly written, and performed then you will finish that sentence by shouting "Snakes, snakes…SNAKES!!" and clawing at your arms and chest. H-I-G-H.
I think the inconsistency of most wrestling shows are what people tend to complain about. I completely agree with that. I think once you've seen that a TNA or WWE can give you a good show and they may string together 2 or 3 weeks of good solid programming, but then proceed to give you 2 or 3 more weeks of crap, it just pisses you off. Are you telling me that these companies don't have the talent available or a potential pool of great wrestling minds to put together a show that features good wrestling action in the ring and compelling storylines and promo segments? Of course wrestling has challenges to face that normal sit-coms just don't. You never see Dr. House blow out his quad during an episode and suddenly Cameron has to come in to pick up the slack. You didn't have 28 different staff members in "The Office" that all need to get on screen so they can get paid that week. You never worry that Dwight and Jim are going to be busted for "wellness" or jump to "30 Rock" once their contracts is up. Besides, TV shows have well trained actors who are constantly plying their trade and have multiple takes to get things right. We have Snitsky and Kevin Thorne and we hope to GOD they don't kill someone during a squash match. Look at most actors who have been on a TV show for a year or two and you can tell how well they are working out and becoming more endearing as characters. Now how many wrestlers on TV do we see and just say, "Jebus, how the hell does that guy still have a job and why can't they figure a way for me to give two shits about him?" I'm not condoning hiring more TV writers for the "e" and "t", but at the very least you think they'd be able to figure out how to showcase wrestlers in the best way possible instead of simply giving them a valet and crossing their fingers.
When you consider the "sports" aspect of wrestling you have to consider the biggest difference between Pro Wrestling and any other legitimate "Sport", that of course being the predetermination of outcomes prior to the contest. I'm sure anyone who watched the Padres and Rockies battle out for the last playoff spot a few weeks ago, the USC loss to the Stanford, or the MNF barnburner that saw the ‘Boys win by virtue of the Bills remembering "hey, that's right…we're the Bills" at the very last second…literally, can attest to how exciting sports games can be. Who wants to watch the Ravens and 49ers stink up a Sunday afternoon game when you can watch the Bears and Packers battle it out till the last minute of the game? Basically a sport is exciting because it's unpredictable and we know it. Juggernauts are defeated by underdogs, bench players run for 100 yards, scrubs and pinch hitters smack walk-off homers. Wrestling is like that too, to an extent. We know that the results are predetermined, but for the most part we don't know what it will be till it happens. But if the NFL had the power to script games, why wouldn't we get more Monday Night Football games instead of Trent Dilfer vs Steve McNair? I think part of the issue that some people have is that if TNA can script their own shows and make them all shootouts and last minute victories instead of defense struggles that end in a field goal kicking contest, then why don't they? Trust me, I'm sure David Stern wouldn't mind being able to pick his conference champions come NBA playoff time. Sure we can argue that on "free TV" they shouldn't all be awesome shows because they make money from PPVs so they should save up their best stuff till then, but is every PPV really "Playoff caliber"? Reverse Battle Royals don't really equate to 60-yard field goals with 1 second left on the clock.
The biggest complaint I hear is that "you shouldn't be complaining about something you didn't pay for". That basically speaks to people who bitch and moan about a PPV they didn't buy or an episode on "free TV" that they didn't have to order. I mean, if it happens on RAW then why are you complaining if every show isn't PPV quality? or if you didn't pony up the $40 to watch a PPV, then what right do you have to complain? Well remember that "nothing in life is free" and this isn't an exception to that rule. "Free TV" is basically the notion that you don't pay for TV. This is true if you live at home and don't pay bills. But for those of us who pay for the cable and electricity to be able to watch Spike TV or USA Network, "Free TV" isn't exactly free. Now while no one pays for cable ONLY to watch those shows, it still figures in. I also have to question the "if you don't pay for the PPV you can't bitch about it" claim. If you bought it and paid $40 then you can bitch about it right? What if you went in with some friends or paid to see it at a bar? Do you only get to bitch about it; maybe 20% of what someone else does who bought the whole thing? What if your buddies bought it and you tagged along for free because you brought some hot wings? Can you bitch about them forgetting the extra blue cheese but not the ‘pizza eating contest'? I guess as a "consume" you have the right to bitch about what ever you choose, whether you paid full price, 1/8, or got it for free. That's how America works. But beyond that, it's not like the PPV is put on in a vacuum as a singular event that has no other repercussions.
Remember that everything that happens on a PPV carries over to the next week of TV. Well usually, but then again this IS wrestling after all. So if people don't like the booking of a PPV then it ultimately will carry over to TV. Didn't like Khali winning the World Heavyweight Title on PPV? Well guess who still has it on Smackdown next week? What about CM Punk wrestling less than 2 minutes at No Mercy and then getting beat down and bitched out after? Well don't worry because it's not like he won't get jobbed out clean on Tuesday. But he's hurt right? Big deal, don't Cena and Batista and Lashley always persevere? CM Pussy. Oh, btw, great job letting Kurt Angle job out Samoa Joe on PPV to win every title, I bet you taking the belts off him won't result in ex-football players who can't touch wrestlers getting the title for no apparent reason. Yeah, I shouldn't complain about the PPV because it doesn't affect me right? Let's face it; people can not help themselves from complaining. If it isn't about the show they watch it's about the show they don't, or the Indy fed they think is too bush league and has too many "flippity flop" wrestlers on it when they'd rather see a good ol' fashion Ric Flair vs Finlay slugfest. It's impossible for all of us to be happy with everything in pro wrestling, there is just too much of it and it is just too varied to encompass all of our likes.
I look at it this way, pro wrestling is almost an addiction for some of us, sure I could say "hobby", but let's call a spade a spade. We don't all have the ability to watch RoH on a regular basis, if you live in Idaho or Kansas City you can't afford to hop a plain to NY and Chicago whenever you want to watch it. You might not even get certain channels in your area so maybe the Smackdown or Impact isn't available. Plus, some of us actually have jobs and school, which limit our ability to watch what we want. Not all of us can drop $100 every time RoHwrestling.com has an outrageously awesome $10 DVD sale. *cough cough* I'm just saying that we are limited in what we can get most times. I liken this to being a kid and eating your mom's home cooking. You're a kid, you can't afford to go out to a restaurant and eat whatever you want. You might have a night when you go out to a restaurant, maybe you get pizza or McDonalds, and maybe you end up at your friend's house or grandma's. But for the most part your mom's cooking is what you're stuck with, you're limited in your options, but I'll be damned if you don't need to eat. Just like wrestling fans need to watch wrestling. Sure, sometimes RAW gives us lasagna, ribs, or prime rib. But it also gives us liver and onions, brussel sprouts, and tuna noodle caboodle. For some reason TNA loves that liver and onions though, can't get enough. ECW is pretty much all about chicken. Roast chicken on Monday, Friend chicken on Tuesday, Chicken sandwiches on Wednesday, chicken soup on Thursday, and Friday…I don't know…maybe chicken noodle caboodle. Same ingredients, but different combinations. I guess that's what you get with a 12 man roster, although some weeks you get extra Mac n' Cheese with that fried chicken thanks to the awesomeness of Morrison and Burke. Bottom line is that we all gotta eat, but we don't always have to like it.
So there you go, lots of things in wrestling suck and everyone has the right to complain so long as they watch the shows, buy the PPV's, DVD's, t-shirts, Fatheads of Shannon Moore, and Snitsky brand mouthwash. That is the definitive answer to the question of whether wrestling fans have the right to bitch and complain about a "sport" that they apparently love. That just goes to illustrate that if you are a true "pro wrestling fan" that you have the right to post negative comments, bitch and complain at an Indy show about the lack of push that your favorite guy is getting, and everything under sun about the booking of said companies. But that wasn't the question was it? The question wasn't "do wrestling fans have the right to complain?" the question was do they complain too much. The answer to that is. Damn right they do. Wrestling fans in general, especially in the IWC (and trust me, my hand I raised as well in this) bitch and moan about wrestling waaaay too much. But it's not that we hate wrestling, it's not that we want to ruin wrestling for everyone that enjoys it (okay some people do it for that) but it's because we love it so damn much that we want to see the best possible wrestling has to offer all the time. The problem is that everyone's idea of that is so different that it will just never happen. If LonDrick/Kennedy/Jericho/Mickie James were all champions on RAW there would STILL be outrage over why HHH or Shelton Benjamin doesn't have the titles. If Smackdown become a wrestling clinic every week then people would still complain about the lack of gay jokes and leuprachauns. Even if TNA pulled Russo's head out of Jeff Jarrett's ass and JJ's head out of Russo's ass and let the X-Division and Tag Division shine, then people would still want to see more Angle and Sting. People just aren't happy with the promotion they like and the promotion they don't. so people who love the WWE will never see anything wrong with them, oh they may say that something isn't "great" or is kind of "so-so" if they don't love it, but they aren't going to go screaming through the hills that HHH should be castrated and left to rot as VKM's newest member. TNA fans still think the X-Division can be saved and eventually Joe will become THE man. RoH fans aren't that far removed from the WWE devotees in that no matter what RoH does they can seem to do no wrong and there is always a reason or excuse for why some people who may be casual fans of the product don't understand or like the direction an angle or match took, there is a mitigating circumstance of course. Yeah, I'm looking at YOU Jigsaw. But shit, we need that. We honestly need the people who are blind sheep as much as those guys who are whiny complainers. There has to be some balance.
Are you seriously telling me that watching wrestling would be more fun and interesting if everyone just sat there and talked about how great HBK is and how you marked out so hard on RAW that you accidentally ‘went' a little bit. I know some people were shocked, but I was just talking about him returning last week and how it was almost a certainty he'd return only if he's put into the title picture and probably comes out with a title win at some point before Cena gets it back. I wasn't impressed. Does that mean I'm a moron and I shouldn't be watching wrestling? No. but it does make for an interesting conversation. Let's face it, the only thing better than actually watching wrestling, is talking about it. If we all had the same opinions and loved absolutely everything we saw then it would be boring, we'd have nothing to say to each other, or type, or blog…or send messages to each other's houses written in cut out letters. But at the same time there is a not so fine line between "difference of opinion" and flat out "bitching for the sake of bitching". I look at my relationship with wrestling like I would any other relationship. There is give and take, good and bad. If you were with a girl and ONLY talked about the bad things you didn't like about her, chances are you'd be single quicker than a Heat "squash" match. But if you only told her how great she was and how she could do no wrong and was perfect in every way, chances are you're lying. We're human; we all have faults and if you ignore those faults they will just never change or be fixed. Yeah, you can live with her snoring at night, but can you live with the way she always picks her teeth in public? You get to let certain things go, save your big gripes for the important stuff, then learn to enjoy everything else. It's what Oprah would tell you to do…and who are you to mess with Oprah. Nobody, you're a nobody, that's who.
I find myself being so frustrated with the products on TV that I forget about all the great little things there are going on. I hate the fact that HHH gets to job out anyone he wants and the Tag Division looks like shit, but at least Orton is getting a run with the belt, the Women's division doesn't look quite so bad, and they're putting on decent mid-card matches now that are getting 10+ minutes each week. TNA is still pushing ex-WWE guys over homegrown talent, but their 2-hour premiere had a hell of a Main Event and Gauntlet match. ECW is almost watchable now so long as they keep Morrison and Burke on the screen. I was ever so apathetic about CM Punk's title reign mainly because he's a better heel and there are no viable faces for him to feud with if he turned, but I think him and Morrison can make each other real stars if given the chance. There is stuff to like and dislike on TV, but I guess sometimes the dislikes are so glaring that you forget to pay attention to the other stuff. I know people say that Vince couldn't give a shit what Joe Viewer has to say about the product but I think he listens. You think Punk would have gotten the title if a steady stream of chants for him hadn't broken out at every show? You remember that for as much as people hate "plucky underdog Super Cena" it was the fans that initially turned him, as well as The Rock, Stone Cold, and others. I just don't think he cares as much about the message boards and arena chants as he does the PPV buyrates and cable ratings. So if you really want to put your money where your mouth is, don't watch, don't buy anything and just sit back and enjoy whatever morsels of goodness Vince manages to let slip by.
The funny thing is that I hear a lot of venom at TNA and at the same time those people who say you shouldn't bitch about the WWE do the same thing towards TNA. But, my philosophy is if you don't like it then don't watch it. If you do watch it, then you either better like some of it, or just keep it to yourself. But you don't have to like TNA to watch it; you just have to be addicted to wrestling and a hopeless optimist. It's a disease people, their needs to be a hotline and a fundraiser. Someone call Sally Strothers. So it's basically "practice what you preach". It's okay to complain, it's okay to vent, in doses. If you find yourself going off about this booking or that angle or that wrestler on a daily basis, maybe it's time for a little break. Spend a little more times with the kids, maybe hit the gym a couple days, or spend more time finding a decent replacement for Cadillac Williams who you stupidly drafted in the 3rd round instead of Adrian Peterson or TJ Houshamama. I mean, hypothetically that is. *I hope Travis Henry gets suspended…c'mon Selvin, daddy needs a new RB*
The Truth
So this began as a real column this week and ended up as a rant. I guess part of me will always be a complainer because I know just how good the WWE can be and has been and how TNA can give us great matches without trying to fool us into thinking they really are an alternative anymore. To me it's funny to see people defending everything Vince gives us and bad mouths RoH for being ‘small time', while at the same time RoHbots really do the same thing with Gabe while calling the WWE cartoonish and boring. Its hypocrisy at it's finest. Although WWE has a better history of making certain events and wrestlers seem larger than life, something RoH doesn't have quite yet. RoH has a better history of managing to put on solid shows time after time despite not having the big names, something the WWE struggles with every PPV. I can't even defend TNA right now. There is just a lot of complaining about wrestling, like there was a "golden age" way back when everything was perfect. It wasn't. WCW sucked for a time, as did ECW. But now we have Puro and Indy action cropping up on our TV' and DVDs and you have so many more options if you don't mind spending a few bucks. The IWC is full of "marks", "smarks", and everything in between. We complain, then we mark out, we tell you that the world of wrestling is coming to an end, then we hail a new era of future superstars. We're fickle. We're complainers. We're wrestling fans. If you haven't figured out how to deal with it by now…maybe Halo 3 is your cup of tea. Watch, bitch, get over it, rinse, , lather, repeat. Welcome to the IWC.
Coming Up Short
I invited some folks over to watch RoH's "Driven" on PPV last Saturday Night. I had assumed that since it was previously listed two nights before I could just order it up whenever and watch it. I was sorely mistaken. The PPV was supposed to be on InDemand…and I was demanding it. But alas someone neglected to let me know that "InDemand" meant, whenever the cable company felt we would want to demand it, and those being random days and random hours that you could order it. What a crock of shit. That is the 2nd RoH PPV in a row I missed because my cable provider is retarded. As much as I'd LOVE to watch an RoH PPV on a Wednesday or Thursday afternoon, I can't because I have work. Wow, novel concept. Great, I just hope Gabe and Cary figure a way to fix this thing and fast because unless they can work out a better PPV deal next year they may not be getting the kind of increased buzz they were looking for if everyone else is having as hard of a time buying this thing as I am. I guess my Demands for this PPV just came up short with the cable companies.
6 Degrees of…
Okay so I lied, last week wasn't the "last chance" at gaining entry into "King of 6 Degrees Tournament of Mild Discomfort". This week is though as I need to just get off my ass and put this sucker together. The corporate sponsors are almost in place and I'm working to get a TV deal set up with the CW for live coverage. But this week we'll showcase a man who finally got the monkey off his back (please no Low Ki jokes) and got the big win versus the Mt. Morishima: Nigel "I'm in it to win it" McGuinness. Oh he was in it, and he indeed did win it. Well this week we congratulate the new RoH World Champion by linking him to one of the key players from my favorite guilty little pleasures. I mean really, really, REALLY guilty pleasures: The Pick-Up Artist. I can't help it. It's a sickness, you people wouldn't understand, I have to be registered in my neighborhood now as a P-UA watcher. I have to fill out a box now on all employment and rental applications. But it's worth it damn it. Oh, Joe D., you went too soon my pudgy little friend. Well anyways, we'll go with another blonde British bombshell this week (at least I think he's blonde unless he just fakes that accent for the tail)…
J-DOG!! Yeah, I really wanted to go with Matador on this one, but I decided this occasion wasn't the right time to let that bull out of the stallion. Oh yeah, let's see if J-Dog's DHV spikes can be linked up to Nigel's spikes in 6 degrees this week. Btw, anyone who is gunning for the top spot should let me know in advance if you want automatic entry this week if you win. I don't want to have to go chasing you on e-mail. Suckas!!
Whatchu talkin' bout readers?
Hey, man. I've written replies to a few 411 columns over the last months, but this is my first time writing to yours.
You could not be more correct regarding Cena. I loathe many things about the man whose look and spastic entrance walk have earned him the nicknames "Monkey" and "Chim-Chim" from my friends and I. The man's offense looks horrid, though at least not so sloppy as to hurt anyone. The FU looks less than devastating anytime Cena's NOT doing it from a turnbuckle/stage/ladder or putting someone through a table. His STF has to be one of the worst I've ever seen....couldn't someone PLEASE pay Masahiro Chono to teach him how to do that hold RIGHT? And finally, he hasn't cut what I consider an engaging promo since he turned face.
However.....that's not the worst thing about him. In fact, the worst thing isn't even his fault.
The man doesn't play "politics" as far as anyone knows. He has not made a habit of refusing to put anyone over or make his opponents look credible. Unfortunately, he's become a victim of Hogan Booking 2.0.....NOW WITH ADVANCED SPAM-BLOCKER!!!1! And that's where you REALLY got it right: once upon a time, WWF/E finally got it right: they booked EVERYONE so well, that in any given match you believed just about anybody COULD realistically go over. NOW? Give me a freaking break. The outcome to a PPV main event hasn't been in doubt in months. MONTHS.
I give Cena THIS much: He's been a real man about taking bumps and staying healthy. I think only Jeff Jarrett, Jericho and Christian have stayed healthy as long as Cena. But remember 2000? Austin had to sit out nearly a few year, and what happened? A great thing got better, because all of a sudden, a number of people were taking advantage of a golden opportunity to step it up. The result? The rise of Chris Benoit, Chris Jericho, Big Show and Triple H to new heights. Austin coming back only made things better.
WWE, take my word for it: look long and hard at MVP, Matt Hardy, Randy Orton (BEHAVE this time, boy...), Jeff Hardy, Mr. Kennedy, Shelton Benjamin, and a few others. These are just some of the people we've been paying to see but who you've been damn-near ignoring at times. Dare I say, you even have a CHANCE to make things right with Y2J. Mark my words, we remember that RAW match that "didn't happen." We remember Wrestlemania X8. Hell, let's be honest: we remember SOMEBODY making a long-time legit main eventer look like a bitch on his out the door. Get it RIGHT this time.
Sean Comer
I think the "e" is doing a good job with MVP and Matt Hardy if you ask me. Their feud has been drawn out well, gotten good attention, and other than that lame pizza eating contest instead of an actual match, they've done quite well show casing those two. Orton has the chance to shine, but don't be surprised if he's merely a transitional champion till they put the title back on HBK. I think that explains why HHH wanted his title reign in first and why HBK came back so quick. I thought he wasn't in a rush to get back and was considering just retiring since he made enough money already, but my guess is he got a little "carrot" dangled in front of him if he hurried back and a last title run might have been said vegetable. Don't look for Shelton or Kennedy to do much for a while as Kennedy was bitched out for the second week in a row, Shelton looks to be back in the tag ranks soon, and Jeff Hardy is so unreliable that they'd actually have to clone him just to have an extra one on hand when he no-showed a title match. That would be the whackiest "Parent Trap" yet. If anything it looks like Orton, MVP, and to some degree Jericho will all be playing prominent roles in the company, yet once again it looks like the "Attitude Era" stars will be getting the lion's share of the TV time. SaveUs_logicalbooking101.
6 Degrees Results
So this was supposed to be the final week for the entry into the "King of 6 Degrees" tournament and we have the following contestants already lined up:
Mark Satrang, Louis Jones, Double C, Luke Southworth, Brian Eyer, Greg Pryor, Chen Arbel, Thomas Williams, Matthew Sforcina, Daniel Wilcox, and Jihad.
Meaning we have 11 spots and 5 open slots. I'm disappointed people. That means we have a plethora of spots open and no one seems to want them. The following people along with this week's winner will get one last opportunity to put their name in the hat for a chance at 6DO glory:
Seth Gordon, Dave Dunn, Greg Walden, Ian Bryant, Ray Church, Vincent Chiucchi, Bob Arnett, Christopher Tighe, Mark Craig, Meehan, Doug Csikos, and MADMEX.
It's up to you guys to step up and take the challenge, or are you already dreading the mighty…um…might…of Dub-C and Satrang?? Which, coincidentally…is the worst name for a hip hop group ever. Sorry guys.
#3
Rob
Alright, here's my first attempt:
Rey Mysterio won the Royal Rumble in 2006, 15 years after Hulk Hogan won it.
Hulk Hogan was Cyndi Lauper's "bodyguard" at the 1985 Grammy Awards.
Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" video featured Captain Lou Albano.
Captain Lou Albano played Mario in "The Super Mario Bros. Super Show".
Mario was the main character in the Super Mario Bros. video game.
Super Mario Bros. competed with Sonic the Hedgehog, whose main character was obviously Sonic.
#2
B--
If this is the last week before the Blood Chamber 6 Degrees Tournament
of Horrors and Doom then I figured I should get in a tune-up match like
Bret Hart beating The Brooklyn Brawler a week before WrestleMania,
unfortunately the tune-up you chose was harder than I imagined, either
that or I'm getting a little rusty. Either way, here's 6Do of Rey
Mysterio to Sonic the Hedgehog, for your approval,
1) Sonic managed to get two cartoons created about him the fall of
2003, in both series he was voiced by Jaleel White...
2) White, the insufferable Steve Urkel, co-starred in Family Matters
with Darius McCrary, the guy who played Eddie...
3) Eddie, I mean Darius, voiced the Autobot Jazz in this year's kick
ass Transformers movie, which also co-starred Jon Voight...
4) Voight, master of many roles, played Larry Zoolander, Derek
Zoolander's father in the movie of the same name...
5) Stiller's new movie, The Heartbreak Kid, features a cameo from HBK
himself, Shawn Michaels...
6) HBK lost to Rey Mysterio at the Eddie Guerrero tribute show on RAW
that aired the night after Eddie died...
Mark Satrang
#1.- TIE
Yo Bayani,
Hope you don't have an entree from the European mainland in the 6DO Tournament of severe discomfort, cause here is the man that is trying to make all us sophisticated Europeans proud and wipe the smug smile of your American faces (at least you have something to be smug about, we don't have wrestling in the Netherlands and a Prime minister who looks like Harry Potter). Here is the first Dutch entry into 6DO! (By the way, love the column, read is religiously and yes Amsterdam is full of drugs and porn)
Rey Misterio's real last name is Gutierrez as is the last name of Armando Gutierrez, supervillain in the cartoonseries 'Freakazoid'
'Freakazoid' was Steven Spielberg trying his hand at weekly cartoons as was 'Tiny Toons'
'Tiny Toons' features the voice talent of Charles Adler, as does 'Transformers:the Movie'
In 'Transformers: the movie' one of the main characters is played by the Smoking Hot Megan Fox (on a related note: When I win, I demand a multiple entry of random Megan Fox pictures under my post)
Megan Fox is a well known Fox, as is the videogame character 'Tails'
'Tails' is featured in the many games of Sonic the Hedgehog
So there you have it, my first try at 6DO and I hope one worthy to enter the Tournament of Mild Discomfort!
See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya!
McVee
#1.- TIE
1. Rey Mysterio and Martin Landau were both in the film Ready to Rumble, Rey as himself, Landau as Sal Bandini (wanna wrestle?).
2. Martin Landau (as Abe Petrovsky) played Alongside John Malkovich (as Teddy KGB) in Rounders.
3. John Malkovich played Murnau in Shadow of the Vampire, alongside Willem Dafoe as Schreck
4. Willam Dafoe played Agent Smecker in the Boondock Saints, alongside Ron Jeremy as Vincenzo Lipazzi
5. Ron Jeremy played Mario in the adult film spoof of the Mario Brothers, Super Hornio Brothers.
6. Mario is starring with Sonic the Hedgehog in the new video game, Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games
Duncan Newton-Gaines
So I liked the creative Rey Mysterio link in McVee's entry but Duncan was able to link up Ron Jeremy in a way I thought was very clever. I was torn, I flipped a coin…but then I sneezed and missed it. It rolled under a desk…I'm too lazy to retrieve the coin and well…I guess this is fair. So this week we have two winners. Meaning both are "Ko6D" eligible and I guess McVee is in. Trust me McVee you DO want to be me…to be ‘B' is glory in the highest. Besides, what do you got over there in Dutchland? Dykes and windmills…it's like a WNBA slam dunk contest over there. Oh well, for really reals this time, next week is the last week to claim your spot in the tournament. Let's see if DNG want's a shot as well.
Left Overs…
Karl "The Machine Gun" Anderson is in RoH's "Survival of the Fittest" tournament in Vegas, which I believe is his first stint in RoH. Another PWG regular TJ Perkins, will be working the tournament as well. TJ usually wrestles as Puma but has worked as himself once before losing to Nigel McGuinness in a match shot for the RoH website. Man, you know you're screwed when you're told you'll be in an RoH Video Wire match. It's like anyone who ever was told "Hey, by the way you're working HHH tonight". Except on occasion you get your own entrance and you end up taking far less knee based offense.
So color me a little disappointed that the only guys in the SotF tournament I haven't seen live already are Brent Albright and Larry Sweeney. And Sweeney ain't even wrestling. Actually I think the matches will still be awesome but I was hoping to see some CHIKARA or more East Coast guys. Wait a sec…it's "Chris Hero with Larry Sweeney" being billed this time…where the hell is Bobby Dempsey at….oh…I forgot…vegas…buffets…Dempsey must have thought it was the "Survival of the FATTEST" tournament and already booked his accommodations at the corner booth at the Rio buffet.
Latest story going around is that WWE Legend Tony Atlas got into a verbal fight with CM Punk in OVW after admitting he had no idea who Punk was and didn't watch ECW. Punk's immediate reaction to that was, "shit…I didn't think so…no wonder we're almost getting lapped by Jimmy Rave and Lance Hoyt…oh God…someone….someone just hold me….".
In a Breaking News Story you can NOW vote for CM Punk's opponent at Cyber Sunday. The choices are: Big Daddy V, John Morrison, The Miz, and Jose Cuervo.
It's nice to see Kelly Kelly brought out the gals with her to back up The Miz during his match. I wonder where Brooke and Layla were though. I guess Kelly Kelly's chest is now considered "Enhancement Talent".
Necro Butcher basically killed Jay Briscoe over the weekend in two consecutive matches. I guess Jay just couldn't "Man Up" against the big man. Jay has demanded a rematch with Necro which will be called a "3 Stages of Redneck Hell" match. The first stage consists of a brutal barbed wire match, the 2nd stage involves a grueling calculus exam, and the 3rd involves drinking an entire fifth of Jack Daniels and resisting the advances of your hot underage cousin…even though you know she's begging for it…slut.
Hangman 3 tries to recruit Kevin Steen. Which to me makes sense in that his style would mesh well with the other guys. Although there are two problems with that; 1) that makes him the "high flyer" of the group which just seems so very wrong….so very very wrong, and 2) that just fucks up the whole name again for their stable. Ya see kids, that's why you don't include a # in your stable name unless you plan to keep to that plan. How pissed do you think he "Crazy 88" were after the 23 or so of them that didn't show up for work that day showed up at the office and found out they had to hang in their monogrammed Polo shirts were? "Damn that skinny white bitch…"
"M-Dogg 20" Matt Cross took the pin in the NRC vs Resilience tag match and is out of RoH for 60 days. I hear he's taking some overseas booking and in the running to be on the new American Gladiator's remake. Since none of the old names like Nitro, Malibu, and Gemini can't be reused M-Dogg has only a few left to choose from that the network gave him: Sleepy, Sneezy, and Doc.
Kurt Angle is fighting his DUI charge tooth and nail. This is interesting because the argument is that the police never saw him driving drunk or exhibiting any behavior that would cause them to pull him over if they did, but they gave him a BAC test and he failed multiple times after he admitted he was drinking that morning. That's like getting arrested for smoking pot after a cop read it on your buddy's myspace that you were running around naked covered in Nutella screaming about being bulletproof and above the laws of man while jumping off tall shit on to people. And to my knowledge Jeff Hardy got off TOTALLY Scott free.
somebody FINALLY thinks of the children…and it's Pacman Jones. Pacman recently bought 1,500 tickets for school kids in the DC area to see Bound For Glory. Pacman is planning to give them out all at once to the kid by showing up at their school assembly and throwing them into the air. The first 5 kids that get punched in the face also get a free TNA shirt.
Kid Kash was at TNA offices this weekend according to their mobile service. Apparently he was there visiting friends when he saw Lance Hoyt in the distance by the craft table…he smiled and went to wave only to see Jimmy Rave walk up and give Hoyt a big hug. They looked so happy together. Kash could only lower his hand and pretend he was scratching his head and look wistfully at them…a tear in his eye and regret in his heart as he quickly shuffled away…*le sigh*
Random Asian Bitch Lookin' Good Pic of the Week
Oh yeah, that's perfect, thanks for trying that on for me, my girlfri…I mean…sis..uh…platonic lesbian roommate will love it...
I think I may be the only one who felt that Nigel McGuinness's big RoH title reign seemed kind of…flat. I guess the fact that people think he was a big underdog and almost sure to lose again and become Morishima's personal ‘bitch boy' made for an exciting story that he actually won it this time. But I wanted it to be built up a bit more and it came off as a bit anti-climatic after I heard about it. It's like the first time you sleep with this really hot chick you've been after but she asks you to pay up front first. I mean…who needs a cashier's check in this day and age?
In other news, it appears Chris Jericho did sign a contract and will be debuting soon to help pick up the slack from Cena's injury. Since Randy Orton will be holding the bling bling spinner belt, HHH will be jobbing out the rest of the roster; the only job left for Jericho will be making gay jokes about Grisham and hitting 19 shoulders blocks per match.
Pimpin' In High Places
Things are busy here at 411 as we sort out the columns, columnists, and new cubicle assignments. I am seriously one or two more retirements away from getting one by the window. At least I'm not the stuck by fridge anymore. That thing smells like Festus' jock:
Ask 411 answers all your questions. From last May. What? Cook is a busy man, he's still answering those questions about whether Cryme Tyme will ever hold the WWE Tag Titles or not. Um…he can probably skip that one.
Small enough for a man, yet made for a Slimmer. I don't even want to get into the "questionable" innuendos and possible gimmick infringements that happened here but sufficed to say I'll be interested to see what a certain Monday News guy has to say about this. I'll give you a hint too and spot you the first two letters: G....A....
A-Mat talks about No Glory…or…Bound for Mercy…wait…um…let's just say HBK. That's a lot easier.
Sully hits up the Happy and Sucky this week. Trust me, it's actually sucky before happy. At least in my experience.
Csonka has No Mercy for the WWE in his 4R's. I wonder if one of the R's is for "Really Good Pizza".
CoH previewed last weekend's big events in RoH. I'm sure he's pleased as punch that Nigel won the belt. Who wants to see 13 "Backdrop Drivers" in every title match anyways? I demand to see 13 lariat and lariat variations instead. My favorite? The Shining Lariat…or the LariatLock Challenge.
El Hijo de Adam fulfills his Destiny by returning to Destiny. Which is…redundant. I mean…very redundant in it's redundancy.
Looking for some Haught stuff? Look no further. Well click…but don't look.
Sammy showcases Nigel destroying PWG regular TJ Perkins this week. It was a tight contest which could have gone either way. Meaning Nigel pins him or submit him.
D-Dubya marks out for the past week of wrestling. If anyone is enjoying wrestling more than D-Dubya this week it's got to be The Miz. I mean…he's gotta be kayfabe fuckin' one of those Nitro girls right? Or at least a man-titty f*ck by BDV. Yeah…you just go ahead and picture that…go on….huh? Hot isn't it?
So PWG is having another show this Sunday at the Van Nuys Armory at 5 pm. For some reason I'm not all that pumped up about it though. I guess I'm saving up all my energy for the RoH show in Vegas. That, and I'm hungry. A lot. For the first time ever I am serious about losing weight. According to my fitness assessment, 30 lbs. Yowza. Personal training sessions, nice new gym, and strict diet without junk food is cutting into the ol' paycheck, but I think it's worth it. Who knows what will come from this but I got about 8 weeks to find out. Anyone else got any inspirational stories to share? I hear my nemesis took 40 lbs off his mid-west mid-section. Which is impressive as well as ....well how much did that dude weigh in the first place? I wonder if Rosey has any good "Fat March" stories. I will never make fun of any wrestler for looking "pudgy" again. Except Eric Young...seriously, that dude went from being a member of "Team Canada" to being a PROVENCE in Canada. Chubs!! Well we are 8 days away from my first RoH show and instead of doing an RoH West Coast Debut Spectac-U-lar...I think I'll just leave that to Ari. Besides, he hates when I step on his toes. I was the one to break that story about Delirious actually being the "Code Talker" for the SaveUs_222 videos after all. I thought it was obvious. Oh well.
