wrestling / Columns

The Un-Dream Match 11.03.07: The Boogeyman vs. Papa Shango

November 3, 2007 | Posted by Michael Bauer

Welcome to the “Un”-Dream Match, where we breakdown some of the greatest dream match-ups, featuring the past and the present… okay, maybe not. Well, let’s face it; anyone can write an article about what would happen if Bret Hart in his prime was to face Kurt Angle. Anyone can write up something about the dream matches of the past, like The Rock going one on one with Hulk Hogan. Finally, anyone can come up with something for if we ever get to see Hulk Hogan take on Stone Cold. But while all those Dream Matches are important, why should we forget about some of the possible matches that would never be classics, will never happen on our televisions in this day and age, and maybe never should happen? Because they would be entertaining as hell and would be some of the most bizarre matches that we could ever dream of in the deepest part of our souls as wrestling fans. So, my friends and fellow readers that is what we call a “Un”-Dream Match. For each match-up, I will be matching each competitor on a variety of categories. I would give out grades, but I like to think of how they match against each other, not just overall. Every column will feature Strength, Speed, Brawling, Resilience/Stamina, Intangibles, and one bonus category, which can range for cheating to mat wrestling, to pretty much anything. In the end, I’ll give you make take on who would win the “Un”-Dream Match. In the future, I will be bringing on some guest judges to help make a decision and of course, taking your match ideas and putting them to life.

Now, with Halloween just barely in our rear view mirror and the ECW thinking that four men weighing an average of 400 pounds each represents a Monster Mash, allow me to present the tale of the tape, if you would, for a true Monster Mash. When you think of the freaks that have ever stepped foot in a WWE ring, you can think of the larger than life people like Andre, The Big Show, or Khali. You can think of those beasts in size like Yokozuna and Big Daddy V. But when I think of freaks, I think of those who scare the absolute crap out of you with just one appearance. So today, I present to you…

The Boogeyman vs. Papa Shango

Quick Background:
Papa Shango debuted in the WWE in 1992 and was at the top of the list all things freaky in the WWE. Papa Shango was all about the art Black Magic and voodoo, as he was able to cast spells on others from afar. The biggest of note was in his one true feud against the Ultimate Warrior, where without even touching him, he sent the Warrior into vomiting convulsions. He also had the ability to make black ooze drip down from one’s head or hand. Papa Shango undoubtedly was the scariest thing in the WWE from an out of the ring perspective.

The Boogeyman came about towards the end of 2005 after nearly three months of promos on Smackdown and started by just terrorizing wrestlers using his style of nursery rhymes and slamming a giant clock on his head. His first match came in December 2005 and that is when the ordeal of The Boogeyman eating worms first came about. After being put over JBL and Booker T at the 2006 Royal Rumble and WrestleMania 22 respectfully, he was injured and then released, but brought back after a renewed interest and feuded with The Miz, before entering in his longest feud, going up against Finlay. That continued until June of this year, when he was drafted to the ECW brand. The ECW seemed like the perfect place for the Boogeyman, where the freaks come out to play.

Strength
For both Papa Shango and The Boogeyman, strength is the name of their games. This goes from their ring psychology to wearing down opponents to just ending the match with a definite “you ain’t getting up” power move. Papa Shango always had a very limited move set, as even he admitted outside of his WWE context, which pretty much involved beating down an opponent and ending his matches with a mean looking shoulder breaker. The Boogeyman is also limited in a move set, but his power has been complemented greatly by the vibe and presence he has in the ring. Just look at his matches and you will see how his ability to just strike fear in a person makes his moves that much more devastating. The Boogeyman normally ends matches with his two handed choke bomb, but can also use a pump handle slam. Head to head, I could see Papa Shango being able to shove Boogeyman around somewhat, but likewise, I could see Boogeyman doing the same, like he did with JBL. The X-Factor is this; he can’t freak out Papa Shango.

Advantage: Papa Shango

Speed
Ok, last time I checked, neither one of these two guys would win a track meet against half the WWE roster during their eras. So what is there to judge? Well, it’s hard to judge how they move their legs, but how about how fast they can drop your ass for a three count? Papa Shango is slow in that department as well, as he generally needed time to wear you down and they go in from the kill. The Boogeyman isn’t, as he can just grab your throat and throw you down out of nowhere, even if you haven’t been worn down entirely yet. Granted, it is tougher against a bigger opponent, but being methodical won’t help Papa Shango.

Advantage: The Boogeyman

Brawling
Most times you will see that Strength and Brawling go very well hand in hand. It doesn’t happen all the time though and I’m not sure, but this could be one of the exceptions. Both Papa Shango and The Boogeyman are not guys you want to trade right hands with, because both will knock you on your ass quick. Both will also be able to withstand some punishment in an extreme environment, as generally bigger men do. The only thing is that I can’t remember Papa Shango being in any match that resembled a brawl. Boogeyman though has been through matches with JBL, which are as hard hitting as they come, and Finlay, who has a knack for just going toe to toe with you. It’s a close one, but I have to give the edge to the guy who I know to take you to the limit.

Advantage: The Boogeyman

Resilience/Stamina
Like with speed, big men and Stamina do not go together very well. Generally, the longer a match goes, the more it favors a smaller wrestler, as it takes less time to get the blood flowing through their body. These two are even on overall size, with a slight height advantage to The Boogeyman. So we need to look at their resilience, their ability to recover from being beat down by their opponent, whether during a match or outside of the normal scope of a match. Papa Shango, once again, has never truly been seen on the defensive in his feud with The Warrior. He always had the advantage, including any time he faced somebody in the ring… assuming he didn’t just turn the lights out and set their boots or hand on fire. The Boogeyman though has not only bounced back from injuries, but from many attacks by Finlay and Big Daddy V. Not many people could show up on television a week after being sandwiched between the floor and a Samoan Drop from Big Daddy V (and yes Larry, he’s not Samoan). Like with the brawling, Papa Shango gave us nothing to build on.

Advantage: The Boogeyman

Intangibles
Now we get to the meat and potatoes for these two freaks of the WWE past and present. And as much as I could just think about and describe it, let me just insert a fun little play by play.

We are back from a commercial and Papa Shango has finally stopped making the lights go on and off and is inside the ring. And here comes the Boogeyman, crawling out onto the ramp as always. Papa Shango stares at him from the ring as both men have their skull staffs in hand. Boogeyman clocks himself with the giant clock and his pyro goes off. He goes to throw his clock away, but notices a black goop dripping from it. Boogeyman looks at Papa Shango and throws his clock down anyway, making his way to the ring in his most unusual way. Boogeyman hits the ring apron and quickly makes his way into the ring as he starts to foam from the mouth. Papa Shango looks at his skull staff as to say “I didn’t do that… this time” and then looks back at Boogeyman. Boogeyman’s music stops and lights go out, but they go all the way out. When they come back on, we see Boogeyman’s hand on fire, but he just laughs and sticks his hand inside his worm pouch to douse the flames. Papa Shango looks perplexed, but still focused on the Boogeyman. Boogeyman takes his hand out of the worms and it is covered in the black goop we saw in the clock Boogeyman now gets a little pissed as he takes off his worm satchel and smears the black goop all over his chest, while continuing to foam from the mouth.

You get the idea. Nothing Papa Shango can do will phase The Boogeyman and vice versa. Sure, you may get confused or shocked at the beginning, but that is only because these guys have never seen anyone else like them before. The only help Boogeyman gets is that is over with the crowd, even if there is no logic behind it.

Advantage: None

Willingness to Cheat
This is our special bonus topic between these two. It’s an odd one, but these are two odd characters. Both Boogeyman and Papa Shango could do a number of things in the middle of the match that could be considered cheating, thought they would never physically touch each other. For Papa Shango, it’s all about ducking to the outside and playing some voodoo mind games with Boogeyman. Thankfully for Boogeyman, he has no hair and no sleeves for black goop to drip off of him. The Boogeyman just needs to go to his bag of worms and get them within close range of Papa Shango. In that case, I think Papa Shango would just do more mind tricks, but they may not work as well here. So while that is a wash, Papa Shango is the only one who would attack you from behind or before a bell, so he gets a very slight edge.

Advantage: Papa Shango

So, who would win?
Well, in a long, drawn out feud, you would see way too many non finishes for even the WWE to pull off. But for one match in a one time affair, I go with the always over Boogeyman. He just has more of an ability to shake off whatever Papa Shango would throw at him, from a physical and mental standpoint. The match itself would be pretty ugly, there is no question about that, probably starting with your basic power show down with both men and ending with a mistake by Papa Shango leading right into The Boogeyman’s two handed choke bomb. Afterwards, Pap Shango would get a taste of his own medicine… a bunch of black goop covered worms for a snack.

Join us next time as we break down another match up of the bizarre in the “Un”-Dream Match. If you any ideas or commentary, please feel free to send me your thoughts.

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Michael Bauer

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