Your Viral Dose of Reality 11.06.07: Infecting Myself with a Dose

Posted by Jarrod Westerfeld on 11.06.2007

Another week, another event: this week Moral Virus misses ROH’s return to New York along with Misawa, and begins to open up a verbal lashing on everyone – himself most definitely included – in this random scattering of rants.

Yeah, I know it's not the ending of the Paul Heyman trilogy article, and at this rate that'll never get done simply because of personal issues. Basically, this is yet another week where I'll be very random and completely uninspired in most of my delivery, but at least there'll be more of a common theme here.

This week I got no feedback so that's probably a good sign that I won't be relying on that to get me through this article and will actually force me to get inspired by the wrestling again.

Broken image of a wrestling fan

I don't believe myself to be a good wrestling fan anymore.

Last night, Ring of Honor introduced to the East Coast, the appearance of Mitsuharu Misawa on US soil – his second appearance on the East Coast and his third on American soil in his entire illustrious career. I did not attend this show.

Months of anticipation, and waiting, and preparing myself to go and see this show and it came down to yesterday, rolling my sloth like ass out of bed [and] thinking about whether to jump in the shower or not to ready up for the event. The decision came in [based upon the fact] that I just didn't care to go out of the house. I missed my once in a lifetime opportunity – a historic moment in wrestling history, a moment that would have furthered the ideals of Pro Wrestling NOAH's ambitions to tour America – just because I didn't care to shave and shower. I missed something I've wanted to see since I first saw [Samoa] Joe in the ring with Kenta Kobashi, all because I don't care about anything in life anymore.

The drive to be a fan is dying inside right now, and it's not because the products aren't good anymore because they are still entertaining and enjoyable. Something inside of me isn't inspired to care about anything, including the things I enjoy the most. My desire to enjoy life, and wrestling, just isn't there right now and all because of what's going on in my personal life.

Right now, I don't feel I should call myself a wrestling fan despite the fact that this term is ambiguous and opaque.

A wrestling fan should be just that – a fanatic of the wrestling industry and all forms of wrestling within it. One should not prefer one promotion over another just based upon television access and name recognition alone. One should not shun one wrestling style over another but find some redeemable value within all styles and at least be tolerant of these differing styles. A wrestling fan is not a stubborn one brand, one promotion, ignorant and close minded person like most other sports fans who support their team and only their team.

For whatever reason, we're always led to believe that those who pass their cable box through a channel airing some wrestling program can be considered and classify themselves as being a wrestling fan, which is ridiculous. People who tune out in droves and don't care to follow the product anymore because it's not ‘popular' anymore within their own cliques of friends still claim themselves to be wrestling fans. These are the people that love to criticize the products, the fans and the culture around this industry despite never being fully invested into it.

But that's not the point of this rant – this is self defeating, and self deprecation time.

I knew that after last night, my failure to attend the show, I would regret not going to see this event live and in person, and I do regret it. It hasn't hit me entirely just yet, but missing this event – missing that moment – is going to hurt in the long run. I can excuse myself for missing Kobashi because at the time that event was scheduled; I was just getting into Ring of Honor and just learning about Samoa Joe. I wasn't aware of their New York shows because I wasn't aware of their touring schedule just yet, and nor did I see the tickets availability for that particular show.

This is the second ROH show I've missed since following their product and touring schedule. The first one I missed being Glory by Honor V Night 2 which featured Nigel McGuinness and Naomichi Marufuji and an appearance by Bruno Sammartino, and that was only because at that time I had a nice night gig down on Spring street in Manhattan, where I was either covering the front desk as a concierge or serving as the porter.

But that all aside, I feel ashamed of myself as a wrestling fan, not just for missing this show but for sitting on DVD after DVD and VHS tapes of wrestling shows that I've ordered but have never actually sat down with and seen. I have some Puroresu, the 2005 TNA pay-per-view set I ordered from their Hard Justice special, my ECW tapes from RFVideo, PWG DVD's, and some ROH DVD's I've ordered, all unwatched since ordering them which can range from months to even years. I literally have more than enough time to sit with it all and still catch up with the numerous weeks of Raw, SmackDown!, ECW and Impact! still on my Tivo, but can't bring myself to actually watch any of these items for almost no logical reason what-so-ever.

I can't believe myself to be a good wrestling fan because of my attitude. I've become so apathetic and such a procrastinator towards everything that I can't even bring myself to enjoy the excellence of a Punk and Morrison return match, or even find the excitement in watching Joe and Cage tangle up in a frenzied return match, or even relish in a classic in Misawa and Kawada.

I'm almost as bad as a WWE markling – close minded and unappreciative of the art of wrestling that is out there beyond what's on WWE's programming. The only differing characteristic between me and those lemmings is that I do enjoy these matches as the artistic expression that can be found within this industry, it's just that at this moment the drive is gone. One day I'll be able to roll out of bed and find that joy in my heart, slap in a DVD and appreciate what floats on my screen.

Until that time I guess I'll have to continue kicking myself about missing out on the biggest moment in wrestling history to cross through the New York area since Kobashi's arrival to defeat [Samoa] Joe in a Ring of Honor ring.

What really strikes at me is the fact that this is a continuous pattern in my life, and it's not just with the wrestling. I've been a member of various websites to which I don't even bother to visit anymore, many of which were community sites that focused on one area of hobby of mine. Hell, the same is happening here at 411mania.

Often times I can't bring myself to even care about the content on this site, and the only reason I even come back here is because I have a deadline to live up to and I don't plan to burn any bridges by ignoring that deadline and not contributing of what is expected of me.

There are days I can't stand to sit in this house anymore, but it's the only place I want to be at.

There are times when I can't stomach having to sit in front of this computer, typing the nights away to fill out that deadline talking about a topic I'm clearly becoming more and more oblivious to with each passing week, but I force myself to work through it and actually pump something out. I certainly couldn't do this with the thousands of story ideas that float around in my head, and that has so much to do with the fact that I don't have a publisher breathing down my neck demanding I cook up his book by the end of the month – there's no pressure to excel of fail in creating that story into a reality rather than allow it to continue to linger about in my imagination.

I know it's not the nice thing to state, but I honestly have no drive, at times, to come to this site sometimes. I lack any ability to care about what's going on in the wrestling world or the opinions of others as to this industry; and it's not just during this current rut of mine, but rather almost daily thing. Something inside just doesn't allow me to come here and read most of the articles offered here, not because I think I'm better than the works of my peers and colleagues, but rather because I just don't care enough to want to read the works of others about a topic I'm going to be dead set in my own mentality.

The egotist inside says that my opinion is more valuable than the others, as I'm sure others are the same way with their own opinions. But right now I barely care enough about my own opinion to write them down let alone care about the opinions of others to want to read them.

So there's a lot wrong with me at the current moment – do you need to hear about it? No, not really. You're here because this site promotes me as a writer of their wrestling section, so you want to hear about wrestling: so let's get to it.

Over expecting great expectations

And while I'm on the topic of wrestling fans, why is it that we all anticipate much more than what a product is capable or willing to deliver?

We're now in an era where the wrestling fans are more spoiled than ever before and hold too closely an unrealistic idealism of what a promotion is going to offer when they begin to tease us with a new promise. In the case of ROH it was Project 161 that would turn into the Fall of the Age which would be made up of Lacey, Jimmy Jacobs, Taylor Black and Necro Butcher. For months fans had greater expectations, whether they wanted it to be Paul Heyman managing a unit of rebel ECW wrestlers looking to destroy the entity that his former apprentice created in the shadow of an attitude fading era of wrestling, or to the lonely cries of a return of The Ring Crew Express. Some even thought it would be a returning faction that housed Jimmy Rave after the reports of his exit from the company just looked weird.

We, as fans, expected too much that when we received this carefully planned unit, that shows signs of being a small piece to a larger puzzle, we would be disappointed with it. The same [story] will occur after the revelation of the SaveUs.222 project is revealed to be anything other than Chris Jericho.

The way things look; I can't believe how gullible the fans are to buy into everything Jericho feeds us on his website, especially after his hoaxed photo with TNA's logo in the background. Did we all suddenly forget how much Jericho likes to joke around with us internet fans, or am I the only one who seems to care to recall that?

Yes, the reports said for months that Jericho was close to working out a deal with the WWE and that we may even see him before the end of this year, but these same reports have been saying this same thing since SummerSlam which should kind of lead us to believe that maybe they're not as close as we initially thought them to be?

But you know what? The WWE loves that we're gullible enough to buy into these reports every time as it leads us all to continue to buy their product – the same would apply to TNA and any other wrestling promotion before and after it. Being gullible, in this industry as a fan, is a damned good thing as it keeps us pumping money into the industry which, in turn, helps keep it running. It's that trait that makes us fans and that helps us to keep ourselves entertained with the products even when, at times, it's not as entertaining as we'd like it to be.

While it's nice to be credulous with the product from time to time, sometimes it does lead to disappointment which then, in turn, hurts our appeal of the product. But that isn't the fault of the bookers, the promoters or the companies but rather with us fans setting up our hopes of something to be too high. We set ourselves up for these falls with [our] unrealistic ambitions of a planned project.

There really isn't much in the way of amending these issues because as fans we allow our imaginations to run free on the possibilities behind the mystery set up by these promotions. Intrigue is set up to keep us interested for future shows so the stoppage of promotional tactics like this is completely out of the question, but what can be suggested is that we fans at least learn to get over our own self-imposed dissatisfaction of these promotions once they have been revealed. Allow the actual product to grow on you for a bit, maybe you'll find that the reality of the product is more entertaining the fantasy.

Like father, like son…?

And going on in the current state of the wrestling world, apparel Harry "DH" Smith has been suspended from the WWE for his first offense under their Wellness Policy, and will be out [of action] for 30 days. This, along with Chris Masters, is the first real suspension handed out by the WWE based upon a failed drug test result since Jeff Hardy's 30 day suspension back in late summer who had tested positive for heroine usage.

One has to wonder if perhaps there's more to this issue than what will appear on the surface. By that I mean perhaps there is a genealogical answer behind this steroid usage within the Smith family?

The painful truth here is that perhaps history could repeat itself here with yet another member of the Smith family perishing at the hands of substance abuse, despite the fact that Davey Boy's heart failure was never officially solved.

While no official word has been released about what substance Harry tested positive, it is assumed it is anabolic steroids.

Now I've never been of the mind that substance abuse issues as being a disease – I think alcoholics are willing participants who have a weak inhibition and restraint from the substance of their being, not victims of some medically invisible disease that takes over their ability to decide, as an adult, to stop drinking at some point and stop being a complete fucking dickhead when completely drunk, and the same applies to other substance abusers out there. And I also don't buy that this nonexistent disease is hereditary, as I can't see how something such as poor judgment can be passed on from generation to generation without that set of animals just simply dying out and fading away like nature would intend all weak and stupid animals to do.

So I'd call bullshit on this being a genealogical issue where Harry is a victim of his father's past sins without some heavy scientific evidence to back up such a claim – if he's truly a victim of a disease I'd better see some actual doctor notes explaining how the disease works and how it is passed down to other generations within a family. Right now, he plays no role as a victim in my eyes, but rather as being that of a weak individual caught in a unfamiliar and, rather, uncomfortable scenario where in order to play with the ‘big boys' of wrestling he needs to shape up his body and keep it within that condition, by any means necessary.

The only unfortunate happening around this scenario isn't his dependency on these pharmaceutical body enhancers but rather that the aide he seeks is classified as illegal without a doctor's prescription all because some asshat runner broke a few records that left people with a sour taste in their mouth.

Ben Johnson, during the 1988 Summer Olympics, had been setting world records for the 100 m at both venues (1987 World Championships in Athletics and 1988 Summer Olympics) and the Olympics title, but was stripped of all accomplishments for doping. This helped push Congress to place anabolic steroids on the Controlled Substances Act, despite opposition from the American Medical Association [AMA], Drug Enforcement Administration [DEA], Food and Drug Administration [FDA], and National Institute on Drug Abuse [NIDA] who all cited that [use of these hormones] do not lead to the physical or psychological dependence required for such scheduling under the Controlled Substances Act.

Basically what that all means is this: some douche bags in Washington thought they knew better than the administrations that are meant to govern over drugs and their affects on the human body and figured they'd slap anabolic steroids as being a controlled substance just because some whiney racing fan queens thought it was unfair for Johnson to break records while on a substance that strengthens muscles and enhances the looks of the human body and their athletic ability. Those governing bodies felt that anabolic steroids, which are in essence hormones, did not have the addictive nature of other drugs such as cocaine so did not produce a dependency nature within its users.

But while everyone is looking at the illegal drugs, it's the legal ones that are taking more lives within this country than any other – though I don't have actual numbers to support this at the moment. So we'll basically leave it at this: the legal drugs that most of these guys end up being on seem to play no role in the media news circuit when they turn up dead, even if it is deemed the cause of the death.

So many of these guys are on pain killers but do you ever hear wrestling fans getting worked up over those drugs presence in the wrestling industry over the usage of steroids?

Just sit and ponder on that one for a bit and think about what the real killer of this industry really is – I'll give you the hint that it probably has a lot more to do with what actually is addictive and is easy to refill a prescription for.

Mass conspiracy finally over?

It wasn't that long ago where fans would begin to think of a massive conspiracy that linked the deaths of several former wrestlers to that of Chris Benoit's tragedy; a logical gap that tried, desperately, to somehow link all of the deaths as being the exacting of Kevin Sullivan's unspoken revenge – or at the very least [his] unreported revenge.

I'm glad to see that after some time, the trend has died out and no longer is it the way to go when handling the passing of these entertainers who have kept us happy and joyous for all of these years.

May it be finally safe to assume that no nutball will be jumping out from behind the green dumpster sitting behind some ghetto riddled 7-Eleven shop screaming about how the Fabulous Moolah's death is part of a mass conspiracy on the part of [Kevin] Sullivan's satanic cult aimed at covering up the Benoit tragedy as being a murder-suicide. I'll be all the more happier to know that all of these people will happily remain sedated with the cold hard facts of reality and move on already, and just accept each loss this life, and industry, has to offer.

With the passing of Mary Lillian Ellison, one hopes that all wrestling fans, young and old, will simply pay their respects to this innovator and amazing woman who helped further not just women's wrestling but the very idea that women could do anything a male could and just as effectively. One hopes she won't be lumped in with the mess that we all saw back in June where every death that just happened to revolve around [Chris] Benoit in some fashion which lead back to the conspiracy theories of his innocence.

I'm not about to eulogize Moolah simply because I'm completely inadequate at expressing just what it was she meant to this industry, and what kind of influence she may have had on women, in general. Besides, by the time you get to read this, many of you may simply shrug it off and move on to other, more pressing things in your life. Not only that, I just don't want to come off as hokey and looking to play on the sympathies of others for the sake of extra readers.

I'll simply end on the note that I'll be a happy sonuvabitch to know that in no way, shape or form I'll have to hear how her death was anything but natural and all just part of some cover up from McMahon to limit the number of residual checks he'll have to sign when it comes to coughing up green chunks for the legends to feast upon. I will, however, entertain the horrid jokes of how she is now the newest victim of Hogan's insidious plot to be the only remaining legend within this industry as he dropped his aged, and enhanced by his robotic hip, leg across her windpipe for the final three count in life – those at least bring a laugh from time to time.

Contradictory are we?

Sometimes we, as wrestling fans, are so completely contradictory that it almost helps our own case to shut the fuck up and never express our ignorant fucking opinions about a God damned thing. That we'd be, all of us, better off just staying silent as we continue to watch the fucking products we are in the habit of watching.

I'm tired of the flip flopping on Triple H – we love him, we hate him, we're indifferent of him. Make up your fucking minds already and stick with it. A lot of you whiners out there want to see him hold the strap again because it would be an improvement from Cena's ‘stale' title reign – as if we all weren't bored of [Triple H's] stale ass hogging that title for almost a year? So you people want to go back to that so you can go back to bitching about his actual uselessness in the business?

And if you want Jericho back so fucking badly, why do many of you continue to cheer on Triple H? Doesn't this sound like the most ass backward thing to fucking do? Oh, yeah, let's cheer for the asshole who basically assassinated Jericho's main event ambitions with the use of his political powers, and was the man that made Jericho look like a complete shmuck in said main event scene. BRILLIANT! Next you'll be trying to sell me shit as if it were the cure to erectile dysfunction.

It's not a fucking hard concept to grasp, is it? If you can't stand the state of the WWE, turn it the fuck off and go spend your money elsewhere – there's plenty of fucking wrestling products out there with the potential to sate your appetite.

Why do I have to see so much bullshit whining from all sides of the coin only to see that these loser idiot cocksuckers will only continue to whine just because they don't want to change the fucking channel from the shit that's raising their blood pressure? Why do I have to hear your endless fucking bitching about something so fucking simple that even a 2 year old could figure out how to amend?

What really gets to me is how people can bitch so much about Raw as if the issues and problems of that program reflect all of the brands. Hey, numbnuts, they have other brands that actually have worked out the kinks and actually have entertaining programs worth a damn, maybe you should give those a shot rather than just watch Raw and assume you know what's going on in the WWE's world.

Do you really need someone like me to hold your hand through this wrestling world? Are you so completely inept without a guide? Would you prefer I offer you my aide so you can navigate to wipe your asses properly in addition to my trying to help keep your head out of that so common and comfy a hole?

Keep cheering Triple H. Keep begging the WWE to feed you the Shawn Michaels' and Chris Jericho's. Keep on being ignorant to the excellence that has been ECW and the tolerable, but still raped of talent, SmackDown! Keep on thinking that the only answer to the WWE is TNA rather than the plethora of indy promotions that flood the market out there. Just keep on being fucking morons – but do it in your indoor, ‘mommy will fucking rape you with the God damned rolling pin if you open your mouth again' voice for my own sanities sake – you bunch of useless cock drooling retards.

And with that, I'll be signing off for yet another week. In the meantime, try not to fart – you may just suffocate.