Truth B Told 11.15.07: Blue Chip Off The Old Block
Posted by Bayani Domingo on 11.15.2007
Remember when a “Blue Chipper” was more than just a failed gimmick for The Rock? Why there are no "Sure Bets" in wrestling anymore. Unless of course you bet the "under" on a Shannon Moore match.
Chris Masters was recently released by the WWE for various reasons, chiefly for being unable to maintain the body of a "Greek God" without his test results being as dirty as a Greek restaurant. You ever seen the kitchens of those places? Mr. Kennedy went from "Mr. Money in the Bank" to "Mr. Jobbing to Rainbow Brite". Samoa Joe has been shunted back down to the upper mid-card and while Sting has already had TWO TNA titles, Joe has none. CM Punk is the ECW Champion alright but why does it seem that more of the focus seems to be on the heels that are fighting for the right to even face him as "#1 contender" than on the champion himself? Chris Hero became one of RoH's biggest heels over the summer and had an incredible summer of big tournament wins and fan support which ultimately lead to…being beaten by a one armed man. Where have all the "Can't miss prospects" gone?
Look, wrestling isn't any different than any other sport in the sense that "cant' miss prospects" are as reliable as a Sean Waltman booking. Jeff George, David Carr, Ki-Jana Carter, Harold Minor, Shawn Bradley, Bobby Hurley, Brian Taylor, Todd Van Poppel, Stephanie Tanner. What? I thought she'd eventually be hot when she got older? The list of "Blue Chippers" and "Future Studs" is long and the list of guys who actually made good on all that potential is very short. There are a number of factors in sports however that you have to take into effect. Injuries is one of the biggest reasons for flame outs, however the realization that "college good" and "pro good" are two very different things is probably #1, 2, and 4 on the Top 5 list. You can't always measure how well someone will perform in the "major leagues" when they haven't been there yet. Wrestling has the same equivalent because looking like a star or a ‘beast' while wrestling the likes of Seth Delay and Deranged may be easy, but going up against the near 7' tall monsters in the "e", or having to stand out from the rest of the crowd in the X-Division who can pull off the same moves you can isn't as easy.
When you look at the laundry list of "future stars" that the "e" has discarded over the years it reads like a "who's who' of fan boy wet dreams. Remember when O'Haire and Jindrak were such a big deal in WCW and upon their arrival the old fans came out of the wood works expecting big things? Yeah, well considering that the only one of the "Natural Born Thrillers" left around is a chunky Chuck Palumbo in biker gear, I guess that didn't work out so well. It wasn't necessarily "injuries" as it was "well sorry kid, we don't have anything for you now that Piper jumped ship" and "wow…he really doesn't have any charisma without O'Haire does he?". But then again, you can't really use WCW guys as barometers for "stud prospects" because even the biggest of them, Goldberg, was bitched out by the machine that put them out of business in the first place. Vince doesn't want to push a guy he didn't "make" himself. But the "e" has had more than their share of young guys who didn't seem to work out so well, or at least didn't seem able to stop hanging themselves by the rope Vince gave them.
The "Wellness Policy" may be helping some guys stay off the "junk", but it's also killing the careers of other guys who probably feel they have no other choice but to find a "miracle pill" in order to keep what little push they might come across. Masters was an inevitable roster cut after he failed multiple times, of course as I said before he was doomed to fail if he was expected to remain as "jacked" as he was while doing it 100% clean. Kennedy wasn't smart enough to keep his big mouth shut and because he came out so vocally against steroids and then was CAUGHT with something in his system, he is being punished severely. Carlito's attitude and performance just never seemed to improve to the level that the company felt it needed to and you have seen how many times he's jobbed out to lesser talents over the years. CM Punk is holding the belt more through attrition than by choice a this point and is almost a paper champion holding a paper title. Hell, when a man who jobs to Jerry Lawler CLEAN steals your woman, you have a problem. The guys is the biggest guarantee to be ‘clean' of anyone in the company outside of Michael Cole and he STILL can't be put over as a dominating champion. When you think about it, the last real two "Next Big Things" that managed to stay in the limelight from the jump are Cena and Lashley. But I guess the injury bug bit both of those two and now we're left with…wait a second…let me look at my list…um…okay… I got nothing.
It's tough to really have a prospect make it to the big time with any degree of certainty anymore. Beyond the "injuries" that happen to a Cena (who has made that leap) and Lashley (who is still on the cusp), you have guys who can't seem to stay clean, or just has a serious mental block (See: Hart, Teddy) and can't seem to stay out of his own way to stay successful. Remember how the spirit squad was split into the "Future Stars" of Kenny/Johnny and the "Future Schmucks" of Mitch/Mikey/Nicky? Well what the hell happened with the cream of that crop? I think booking has a whole lot to do with how a star develops (Cena > Everyone > Eugene > Orton) but the wrestler themselves have just as much to do with their success and at an age when wrestlers just aren't traveling around and getting a good grasp of the basics, the business, and what it takes to be a true performer, its not getting any easier to find a "sure thing". Pedigrees aren't necessarily an indicator because so far Cody Rhodes is looking more like Shawn Stasiak or David Sammartino then El hijo de Santo or even a Von Ehrich. Pick one of them that died young. Not the guy with the claw. Harry Smith doesn't seem to have his head straight so what makes you think Ted DiBiase Jr. or Snuka's kid will?
The wrestling business is full of so much uncertainty. When you look at all of the "would have, could have, should have" on the RoH roster you really wonder why Jimmy Rave never managed to capitalize on his early success as a hated heel? Or why Hero and Claudio haven't been given the chance to shine after the KoW was split up? A lot of people wouldn't have believed 2 years ago that neither Roderick Strong or Brent Albright would be anything more than mid-carders and JTTS by the end of 2007. but here we are. When you look at those guys you realize that even a clean bill of health or fan support doesn't necessarily equate to being guaranteed success. Sometimes it takes one man believing in you…most times that man has to be named "Gabe". I guess when you rid yourself of a secondary belt and you decide that getting a foreign worker on loan is more important than taking care of your own ‘backyard' you end up with those kind of dilemmas.
When you look at TNA you realize how far they've fallen in their promise to be an "Alternative" as they fail time and time again to foster the ‘homegrown talent'. It's all well and great to pick up the left over "names" the "e" has thrown away or let slip away, but what about the guys you helped make in the first place? Samoa Joe is in the mid-card, AJ Styles is a comedy sidekick. Senshi and Daniels reunited to job time and time again and the pride of your company at one point is now being put on a man who is being constantly beaten down by Tweedle D'Von and Tweedle Fat Ass. Is it worth having Kaz win a #1 contendership if he only manages a one night job to the Champion you poached from the competition in the twilight of his career? When injuries and booking don't necessarily fail you, sometimes the wrong ideology and direction of a company can. Sacrificing your potential young talent for old washed up has-beens just isn't smart business.
There are too many variable in wrestling to ever claim someone to be "The Next Big Thing". Booking can flatten out to the point where even a title belt won't make you seem edgy and interesting again. Injuries can shorten your career and certainly forgetting to leave the "juice" at home won't help. Having a company eschew you in favor of a "comfortable old shoe" can't help matters much because then you never even got the chance to have unreasonable expectations laid upon you…or really any expectations at all. Wrestling can be a cruel mistress and fate can be a fat oily whore as we found out this year. The "Sure Thing" can just as easily be a stunning come from behind victory by the Bills over the Patriots on any given Monday Night. Okay…maybe some things are still "Sure Bets". Man, those Bills suck a big phat…
The Truth
Feel free to root for your favorite wrestler. Follow their career, revel in their victories and accolades. But don't be too disappointed if they don't go winning any major World titles or starring in their own Rap Video and end up on the cover of any video games. The business is full of a lot of potholes. Some are easy to see, some are hidden, and some are under you before you realize what even happened. The age of the "Blue Chipper" is over because there are just too many things that can go wrong now a days. Just like in sports, scouting isn't a science as much as it is an art. Even then it's just as much luck as it is still. So when we talk about the "future stars", maybe we should refer to the future in terms of weeks, not years. You never know when a pectoral muscle might just go ‘pop'.
Coming Up Short
There is never a point to bringing a broadcaster into a feud. Jerry Lawler never really puts anyone over in the ring and beating up a retired 50 year old man is hardly a an impressive feat anymore. Why spend the time to give Santino Marella the rub from Stone Cold just to do the job to Lawler? And you wonder why they end up having to bring back old "Attitude Era" superstars back from injury too soon to fill the main event scene? Great, just what Santino's momentum needs…a short coming.
Final Round of the King of 6 Degrees Tournament of Mild Discomfort…
I think this is pretty obvious don't you? It's "The King" and the "Syxx" of the degrees.
What? I'm sick. I'm stuck in Minnesota for the week. Just be happy I sent in a column. Ya bunch of yahoos. Doncha know?
Whatchu talkin' bout readers?
Another swerve?
I know I'm not apart of the tournament, but I figured tournaments are always filled with swerves and run-ins, so here's another you can toss in there.
Stalker Ichikawa Z was on of the members of Ultimo Dragon's Toryumon Dojo second class.
Ultimo Dragon was Chris Jericho's opponent on Jericho's ECW tryout tape (according to "A Lion's Tale")
Chris Jericho interrupted Dwayne"The Rock" Johnson during his WWE debut.
The Rock starred in The Rundown (2003), which Arnold "The Governator" Schwarzenegger made a special appearance.
Arnold starred alongside Jamie Lee Curtis in the 1994 classic, True Lies.
Jamie Lee Curtis was in Terror Train with David Copperfield in 1980.
Enjoy,
Stax
I'm not gonna lie. If this went up against the #1 seed in the tournament it would have to go to a 3rd round. Keep this up Stax and you might snag a seed into next year's tourney.
BD,
Great work on bringing to light on what is a dirty little secret among wrestling fans: although we root for the pudgy mid-carder, we want our World Champions to be larger-than-life beefcakes. The reason for that is wrestling is supposed to be a fantasy world just like our sports (and in some guys' cases, women). Every now and then it's ok to have a Mick Foley character win the title just for giggles, but in the end it become more believable when a HHH or Orton wins the belt (no matter how badly he's been booked as champ). That's why you see guys like Lesnar and Lashley get immediately bumped to the main event scene and the Edge's of the world have to wait years upon years to get that shot.
That said, I think this is why it's so important to have TNA give Samoa Joe the World Title. Ok, ok, I'll wait for you to stop laughing, we all know that's never going to happen, but bear with me. What makes Joe so appealing? Simple, he's a fatboy that can fly! It's beyond belief, and what better way to be a true alternative to the ‘E' than to have their World Champion be a 285 lb tub of goo who can do flying planchas as opposed to a chiseled, chin-lock loving champ? Oh well, I guess that's a pipe dream, maybe that's why the only way we see that fantasy is in "Beauty and the Geek."
Later,
John
Never liked "Beauty and the Geek"…now "Pick Up Artist". Man, I so wanted Joe D. to win that thing, oh well. I think Joe winning the TNA title will happen, but it will take another title switch or two till it does. I think Joe brings a lot of legitimacy to TNA and his title win could really be the crown jewel for TNA as a "Homegrown Star" compared to an "e" reject. Only time will tell, but I think we'll see the TNA World title around Joe's chubby little belly soon enough. Or maybe his neck…I think it might fit around his neck.
Luke thinks he got screwed in the tourney:
That's right, screwed. And not in a good way.
X-Pac may have been on TV, but that's not a major achievement! He didn't win the WSX or any AAA title, so I didn't mention 'em as achievements!
In the immortal words of Big Dave- "Congratulations. I want my rematch"
It's a little worrying, but you're right with regards to the image-concious way the WWE and fans in general look at things. I mean, I've been on message boards and seen people calling Mickie James fat, or Beth Phoenix manly. I mean... what!?
So to summarise... people are too easily suckered in by the image concious world that filters out and mocks the less than perfects. Hell, your TV guys couldn't even have the balls to actually cast an ugly person as 'Ugly' Betty.
Peace.
-Luke Southworth
Luke, X-Pac won the first ever battle royal ladder match for the right to face off for the WSX title on the debut show? How could that mean more than winning the Candito Cup? The man walked through fire, brimstone, and Justin Credible for that opportunity. Such a story of triumph and glory. The man…so brave…so….brave. Btw, I would roll Mickie James' thick, thick hips over and give her the piledriving of a life time. Red Beans and rice didn't miss her. I also think they didn't go too ugly on "Betty" but just "ugly enough". Like TV ugly. Like how Rachel Leigh Cook was "ugly" before she got her hair cut and contacts. Yeah…ugly.
King of 6 Degrees Tournament of Mild Discomfort Semi-Finals Results
Okay, I don't know how he did it, but somehow Mark Satrang has actually moonwalked unscathed into the Finals of the Ko6D. I guess Louis Jones must have fallen asleep at the wheel this week because he failed to submit an entry and is hereby disqualified. That means Mark will meet in the finals against either Double C or McVee. Let's take a look at the only battle this week:
Yo Bayani,
Final Four baby! Yeah!!! Does that mean that I officially am the ‘Savio Vega' of this tournament??? And what about that ball of wax? What kind of wax is it? Candle wax? Or original Bayani Domingo ear-wax? I think that would look great in my trophy cabinet next to my ‘King of the Sandbox' Silver Spade and several AVN awards (one of them is ‘Best New Cummer'). So I need to take on one of the most respected veterans of 6DO in Double C… aka CC… aka Fran Drescher's bitch (He didn't just incorporate a ‘The Nanny'-reference, or did he?)… Better bring the A-game!!!
David Copperfield was arrested for Assault on an Island . Another famous Island Assaulter (is that an actual word?) is Hulk Hogan (starred in Assault on Devil's Island )
Hulk Hogan is THE most recognizable name in wrestling and world famous owner of several artificial limbs, as is the Six Million Dollar Man Steve Austin
Stone Cold Steve Austin is the stage name of one Steve Williams, which also happens to be the name of the actor who played the part of Pirate "Black Jack Savage" in the television series ‘The 100 lives of Black Jack Savage'
‘The 100 lives of Black Jack Savage' was cancelled after just a few episodes as was ‘Armed and Famous' the reality series starring every IWC-nerds object of affection Trish Stratus
Trish Stratus had a storyline stalker who wanted to make name by beating her, The Undertaker was in a similar situation a few years earlier. His stalker happened to be Diamond Dallas ‘Positively' Page
Diamond Dallas Page in WCW storyline was saved from poverty by stealing the bingosheet of his valet (and then wife) Kimberly, another wrestler who often gets saved by his wife in the ring is Stalker Ichikawa Z
Hope this gets me in the finals!!!
Vriendelijke groet,
Marc Veldhuizen
VERSUS
I'm counting my lucky stars that I made it to the semi-finals. My congratulations to Luke Southworth for a great battle.
Learned quite a bit about Stalker Ichikawa Z for this week's 6DO. One thing I do know, with his antennae, big ears and hole in his uniform by his stomach, if his outfit was purple he'd be a spitting image of Tinky Winky. Anyway, on with the show:
1. David Copperfield was engaged to supermodel Claudia Schiffer for six years. Some things in this world I will never understand. This is one of them.
2. Claudia Schiffer was in the 2002 movie "Life Without Dick", which starred Harry Connick, Jr.
3. Harry Connick, Jr. had a recurring role as Grace Adler's husband Leo in the TV series "Will & Grace", which starred Eric McCormack.
4. Eric McCormack graduated from Ryerson University in Toronto, Ontario (theatre program), which is the same university where Gail Kim graduated from (nutrition degree).
5. On the October 11, 2007 edition of TNA Impact!, Gail Kim lost to Awesome Kong in Kong's TNA debut.
6. On May 8, 2005, Awesome Kong, then called Amazing Kong, wrestled against Stalker Ichikawa Z, and won in 21 seconds. Immediately thereafter, Amazing Kong wrestled both Stalker Ichikawa Z and DJ Nira in a handicap match, and won in 2 minutes 29 seconds.
Double C
Judgment
Let's find out who are mystery guest judges are this week and who they sent on to next week's finals:
Bachelor number 1 is 411's resident Diva loving 411 Guerilla "Column Contributor" and Maria's #1 stalker (suck on that one Wilcox and Halden)…Andy Critchell, aka ‘Divas':
After careful consideration and research on the identity of one Stalker Ichikawa Z, the choice in this contest was clear; Double C. McVee's connections were sloppy at best and smacked of trying way too hard to be funny. Being that I am ultra hilarious myself, I was not impressed. Now you could say that the object of the six degrees was too obscure but hey, you're in the big leagues now so there are no easy wins. Although Double C made it look very easy and the Eric McCormack/Gail Kim connection was genius.
Winner: Double C
Bachelor number 2 comes all the way from the MMA section, the man who gets you all the juicy "News Bits" around the globe (like how the hell Tito Ortiz is fuckin' Jenna Jameson...No I mean literally HOW, she's so damn skinny now he'd have to wear her on the tip of his dick like a rubber)….Randy Harrison:
Hey B,
My benevolent judgment...
And the winner is..drum roll please..Double C! Referencing one of my favorite shows in Will and Grace, AND my beloved home country of Canada (even though it was Toronto and they barely count) was more than enough to take the contest. I also liked the fact that it went well outside the realm of wrestling at the beginning and then came right back to it in the end, covering a lot of ground and making a lot of great connections. Well done good sir!
Well shoot, they didn't even need MY vote this week. Looks like the dreams of a young man from the Netherlands has died here and now. McVee you were a worthy warrior and the biggest surprise of the tournament. Louis…*shakes head*…I've got nothing…nothing. Well you knew it would happen, despite all of the close calls and near falls that Double C had to face he made it into the finals. Mark…well he just walked on in didn't he? Someone should actually check to make sure Louis is okay and Satrang didn't tie him up somewhere in order to sneak in another victory. Well there we have it folks. The Top seeds in the tournament take two very different roads to the finals. For next week's thrilling conclusion and the FINALS of the King of 6 Degrees Tournament of Mild Discomfort:
Mark "The Fang" Satrang vs "HEY" Double C
Tune in next week for there can be only one….
Left Overs…
Does anyone know why Mysterio and Finlay are feuding? Does it have anything to do with whose ancestors were more prejudiced against when they first started to immigrate to the U.S.? If so…why isn't this a triple threat with Edge? Yeah. I know, those damn dirty Canadians deserve everything they get. Dirty canucks!
So Mickie James is a lesbo again? I'm hoping they actually run with this gimmick again and bring in Nattie Neidhart to team up with her and call her "The British Bulldyke".
Rumor has it that Scott Hall may be used in TNA in subsequent appearances, his role has yet to be determined. My guess is they're going to run segments with him like a greasy "Isaac" from "The Love Boat". You know, Hall mixing up drinks and dispensing sage wisdom about love. "Hey yo…you want to get that skank SoCal Val to slob on your knob eh Chico? Well Jay, you gotta slip her a roofie and get her back to an empty trailer before she comes to…then, she'll be dripping with…Machismo".
On the heels of Joanie Laurer changing her name to Chyna. Traci Brooks decided to officially change her name to TrannyHOvania. Not a great place to visit OR live.
The 10 Diva tag match at Survivor Series has not been confirmed as a 1 fall or elimination style match yet. Chances are this is either going to end up as a 10 woman Bra and panty match…or a gravy bowl match. I'm just thinking with all those breasts and thighs and white meat…gravy bowl is the way to go.
So on 11/30 Danielson takes on Necro Butcher in a match with "Relaxed Rules". I'm not sure what that means. I assume it has to do with it being a "casual Friday". I assume that means Necro won't be wearing shoes and Danielson will not be using any "tie" ups.
So I know I was surprised when Eddie Kingston showed up as one of the mystery tag partners in the Hero vs Tornado match at PWG. I made jokes that he might show up, but never thought they'd book a fairly big name without any hype. That's kind of like having a chick with a great rack wear turtle neck to a pool party. I guess from now on the ??? in a match could mean anyone. At some point an indy worker is going to get smart enough to wrestle as "???" as corner the market on tag matches. Shit…did I just hear Russo copying and pasting just now?
Random Asian Bitch Lookin' Good Pic of the Week
You know what you get when you "Assume" right? You get ass, u, and me. Sweeet.
So…the Briscoes are going to team up with a mystery partner in the Trios tournament. I'm pretty sure it ain't Eddie Kingston this time. I'm not really sure who it could be but once again if it's Brisco Country Jr. I am all aboard the bandwagon.
Pimpin' In High Places
I'm in Minnesota this week and just managed to get internet at …let's see…it's 9:49 pm my time on Weds night so it's…almost midnight here? Shit. Well at least I found out what 29 degrees feels like and Good…Gawd…Damn the Mall of America is huge. There's like 3 A&F's in there, two Victoria Secrets, a Church, 9 full restaurants…and no titty clubs. What the fuck Minnesota? Nothing beats buying some Old Navy Fleece, a Brooks Bollinger Jersey, a Cinnabon, and seeing some hairy Scandinavian tang…doncha know:
So I didn't have time to throw up links for every one this week. As usual you should read Ari, Csonka, Jules, Hidden Highlights, The IMC, and all the other new "opinion based columns without a real sturdy gimmick" that seems to be cropping up in the zone now a day. Yeah, I think we all know who the originator of that format was. Actually I have no idea…but I just run with it and throw in some semi-nude chicks. Yay me. Oh and if you have nothing better to do, go ahead and read ‘Ask 411'. Someone really needs to ask the question: If Sycho Sid and Sid Vicious took on Sid Justice in a handicap match…which one of them would blow out a knee fastest? Oh and apparently if you're really desperate and one of the 8 people who used to read Wilcox you can also check out this C. Landfill kid. Apparently he got his panties in a bunch when I mentioned his column was kind of a "rip off" of "The Finish Line", which holds a special place in my heart because it was the first column I ever read on 411 after a buddy of mine pointed it out to me. Hey, that's cool a lot of people enjoyed the column and were really hoping that a viable replacement that could provide the same insight, wit, and wisdom would eventually rise up and take it's place. As soon as you can manage to write a column like that…I'll be happy to plug it kid. Maybe next time tiger.
Man, I was freezing my nuts off this week. I am glad that tomorrow I am on a plane back to sunny California. Then an easy 2 and a half days of work next week and I'll be headed to VEGAS for Thanksgiving. Which is great because if you can't afford to spend Thanksgiving with your family and friends, spend it with the Black Jack dealers and strippers. Now THAT is what I'm most thankful for this year.
