The Thanksgiving Thursday Small-For-All News Report: 11.22.07
Posted by Jeff Small on 11.22.2007
We All Have Many Things to be Thankful For...This Isn’t One of Them!
I'm back!!!
Wait for it…
Wait for it…
Keep waiting…
Yes, yes…
WHAMMY!!!!!!!
Welcome back to another stuffed edition of the Small-For-All. You know, it really does not matter what I write about in today's edition because most of you will be falling asleep reading it. Which is probably for the best.
First off, let me give thanks to Mr. Scott Slimmer for filling in for me last week. For those of you who actually thought I was fired (and there was at least one person), shame on you. Look, if Larry really wanted me gone, he would have fired my ass a long, long time ago (he had his best chance after I wrote that one news report in September intoxicated). And for those of you who believe the message board rumour that Wilcox and I are the same person… well, I don't really have much to add there (actually if I were Wilcox, my music report would be much better).
Second, Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Here's hoping that y'all's commute home wasn't too awful (mine was: it took me 7 hours to go from Boston to Jersey). And while I don't think too kindly of you since you are reading about wrestling instead of spending quality time with your dysfunctional family, I still wish you all the best.
Lastly, for those who will be up at 5am tomorrow in line wanting to buy a cheap GPS, digital camera, or DEWALT power tool, it's probably not worth it in the long run. Unless you really, really, need one of the above items, you can probably knock out the majority of your shopping list by starting at 9am. That's how I roll and it's a lot less painful for me.
With all that said, let's get this bad boy started!
NEWZ FROM TITAN TOWERS
He Will Not Die
You know that tagline will become inappropriate at some point. But for now, it's still apropos.
Anyway, according to WWE.com, Matt Hardy had emergency appendectomy surgery on Tuesday. He will be out 1-3 months.
Rumor has it that his appendix exploded after hearing that he would have to job to Big Daddy V on Smackdown. Luckily for Matt, he was taken to the hospital early enough that the surgery was as successful as it was. Now he just needs to rest up until he's medically cleared to return to the ring. This of course opens up two different possibilities: 1. The Matt Hardy/MVP US Title Feud has taken on the term "long-build" to a whole ‘nother level. 2. If Matt's dating one of the Divas, he better lock her in the house with him!
But Lashley/Edge Would Have Been Such a Great Feud
According to Krystal Marshall's Myspace page, the reason for her release was that she refused to take part in a morally degrading storyline. From her page:
This is way over due. First off the reason why I was released was because I did not want to do a morally degrading storyline that was already done, plain and simple.
Lita was in my opinion the greatest female wrestler of all time (next to Jazz). Lita revolutionized the world of wrestling. She showed that women could be strong, beautiful, and be a draw in the sexiest world of wrestling. She had little girls watching her wanting to become an athlete instead of a princess when they grew up. She was also one of the few women who wrestled men. With blood, sweat, tears and a broken neck later, she earned the respect of everyone in the wrestling business. So the WWE had the bright idea of turning her personal business into a public free for all. Sure that "storyline" transformed a well-loved babyface into a huge heel, but at whose expense? Look at how Trish retired…now look at how Lita retired. On the day of Lita's retirement, the fans didn't just boo her because she had heat; they booed her because despite all that she contributed to women's wrestling, all that they seemed to remember about her was the "slutty" vamp she played on TV.
At first when I read the post, I could not remember for the life of me what morally degrading storyline she was referring to. Thankfully I had a day to marinate on it and luckily, the abandoned storyline came to me. Originally, the Teddy Long/Krystal segment would have ended like this: Krystal gave Teddy Long Viagra to trigger his heart condition to force him out of his GM position. During this time, Edge would have returned as Krystal's true love and together they would have run roughshod on the Smackdown roster. So the morally degrading storyline is nothing more than Krystal cheating on Teddy Long with Edge. How shocking.
With that said, I can see why Krystal was reluctant to take part in this storyline. She spells it out pretty clearly in her MySpace post. However, what Krystal failed to mention was that the Lita/Edge storyline followed real life events. Many of the people who started calling Lita a slut did so because they knew she cheated on Matt Hardy with Edge. After a while enough people found out about it that Lita was damaged regardless of what role she had in the company (people were calling her slut when she was still Kane's wife). Since Krystal never fucked Edge in real life, I doubt her heat would have compared to Lita's.
Lastly, she spent the last eight months making out with Teddy Long. I don't seem how much lower things could have got for her.
Hello Nasty… Goodbye Nasty!
According to the main page, "The Nasty Boys (Jerry Saggs and Brian Knobbs) worked their first match for WWE in years in a dark match at the Smackdown taping last night. The match was said to be a total disaster.
The Nasty Boys apparently treated the dark match as if they were major stars who just returned. They took too long getting into the ring when they came out because they kept interacting with their friends and family seated at ringside… During the match, the Nastys were stiff with McIntye who is only 21 and new to the main roster… Some blamed the Nastys match taking so long for screwing up the entire Smackdown taping, causing it to end at 9:54PM ET and giving WWE just six minutes to change the ring and set for ECW On Sci-Fi."
Who thought it would have been a good idea for the Nasty Boys to make a WWE return? Knobbs's knees are worse than Hulk Hogan and nostalgia has not worked out well for the WWE in recent years. Throw in the fact that the WWE does not care for tag team wrestling (just ask Larry) and there is no good reason for the Nasty Boys to return. So Nastys, I hope you enjoyed your last few minutes of fame. Here's hoping you can take Hacksaw Jim Duggan with you.
Who's Really Uglier: Snitsky or Torrie Wilson? Find Out Soon!
According to PWInsider, "The WWE production team was in Naples, Florida over the weekend with a large number of the main star present. The footage that was filmed was for new TV show openings shot in High-Definition. Photo shoots were also done for material that would be used specifically for inclusion in the future HD-TV broadcasts.
WWE has been testing the implementation of HD for quite some time now, since September of 2006, at a live event in Uncasville, CT where they taped the show specifically in HD as a test show, complete with backstage promos and other things.
Vince McMahon, when asked at an annual stockholders meeting, predicted they would switch over to HD broadcasting within the year. He also commented on the quality of the product saying it "looks amazing under that format".
WWE has not announced when they will switch over, but SmackDown! will move to HD format by January 2008 according to announcements made by WWE and the CW Network. All TV broadcasts will be switched over to a digital format by 2009."
I will be very interested to see how well the WWE will look in HD. While it's almost guaranteed that the WWE will produce a slicker looking project, I'm more curious to see how the action pans out. Certain weak brawlers will probably have to step up their game as there will be less camera tricks to hide inefficiencies. That and it will be interesting to see how certain superstars actually look in true high definition. Regardless, moving WWE programming into HD is a smart move. Look for much more discussion to happen when we get closer to January 2008.
I Spit in the Face of Company's Who Don't Want to Be Cool
According to the Wrestling Observer, "it is rumored that WWE RAW superstar Carlito gave his notice to management last week. Nothing has been confirmed by World Wrestling Entertainment, but many of Carlito's colleagues believe this to be the case. In the past the RAW superstar has worked with TNA writer Dutch Mantel; therefore TNA should not be ruled out as a future option."
I originally heard about this rumor a few weeks ago but now it looks official. Carlito's stock in the company could not get much worse than losing to Hornswoggle this past Monday. While I am under the mindset that Carlito should have been kept off of live TV until the company gave him his release, I don't mind watching Carlito be made a fool of. As Larry stated in his news report, he had many chances of getting over but it's apparent he really does not care too much for our favorite fake sport.
TNA, if you sign Carlito, then you are really desperate. Then again, you did sign Test…
NEWZ FROM O-TOWN
Look Who's Booking Impact
According to the Torch (oh geez), "TNA wrestler Abyss has been sitting in on production meetings lately and is now considered a member of the booking team. For many months the booking team had been made up of Jeff Jarrett, Dutch Mantel and Vince Russo. Abyss, Mike Tenay and Jeremey Borash are now also involved, making it a 6-man committee. Each member of the committee is said to have a different agenda, which could lead to some trouble. Abyss is clearly a fan of hardcore matches while Dutch Mantell is said to be completely against any matches being decided by submission holds - a philosophy that has many wrestlers shaking their heads."
If only matches in TNA ended when someone got thrown over the top rope. I mean seriously, how stupid is Dutch Mantell. Granted, he was the top creative dawg during TNA's year of mediocrity and looks to still be giving his great advice. What makes it even more ironic is that Kurt Angle is the current TNA Champion and his #1 finisher is an ankle lock, the previous champion, Sting, had a submission finisher, and Jeff Jarrett, the #1 star of the company, used the Figure 4 as a secondary finisher. I especially do not understand his belief that submitting to a hold makes a wrestler look weak when the UFC creates just as many stars in a submission heavy sport. Silly TNA, here's another reason why you just don't get it. At least, Booker T and Carlito do not have submission finishers!
Quick N Dirty TNA News
From the main page,
TNA has announced that the 12/2 Turning Point PPV will feature a "Feast or Fired" Battle Royal which will result in a wrestler being "fired."
How about TNA actually firing wrestlers they have no plans on using?
The 1/06/08 Final Resolution PPV will take place in Orlando, FL while the 2/10/08 Against All Odds PPV will take place in Greenville, South Carolina.
It's always a good sign when the company books a PPV outside of Orlando, FL. Carolina is Flair country so I hope the company books some good wrestling matches on that card.
TNA is apparently in talks with a major international wrestling star about coming in for a regular role in the promotion.
A-Train?
COMING ATTRACTIONS
I would hate to write a long news report on Thanksgiving, so we shall end here. I still owe you a Chris Jericho book review but that can wait until next week. Until then…
Happy Thanksgiving.
Meehan's in tomorrow (at least we all know he won't have a hangover).
