Not An Evolution Schematic 11.24.07: Super Duper Holiday Double Shot Feature.

Posted by Mathew Sforcina on 11.24.2007

Everyone else is doing cheap Thankful lists, why not me? Larry: Aren't you Australia- Quiet You!

Writer's Notes

See, here's the thing. You're probably stuffed with leftovers, I'm watching a government collapse around me which is partly my fault (I voted for Maxine). Ergo, are either of us really in the mood for an ES on Ivan Putski just to make a joke only 411 writers will get or a rehash because I'm lazy? Of course not! So, I'm going to do a rare Non ES and focus on what I'm thankful for in this entity we call Pro Wrestling and, as a bonus, what I want Santa to bring me in a month's time. So if you have no interest in my wishes, then just have a Happy Whatever.

There should be a banner here, but I don't have an Non-ES banner… Yet.

What I'm thankful for.

Let's get the obvious out of the way first. I'm thankful for Victoria.







But I'm also thankful for Gail Kim, Traci Brooks, Maria, Portia Perez, every woman in the AWF, and Melina when she hits the splits thing right. Because I like looking at pretty women who could probably beat me up if they got angry.

I'm thankful for WWE, since they can keep putting out awesome DVD sets between now and the end of time. The fact that they still have a ‘product' is illreavent, just keep pumping out those awesome sets and I'll be a happy bottom-line adder to.

I'm thankful for TNA to at least have some alternative, as well as being just one reshuffle away from being awesome. After all, all it would take is for Dixie to wake up and realise her product sucks and BAM- The Awesome returns!

I'm thankful for ROH because… Well, just because. I'm part of the IWC, I think ROH Fandom is a legal requirement.

I'm thankful for Shimmer, Chikara, and every other major US Indy fed not named CZW for trying their best and producing a lot of great talent for the ‘major' players to squander.

I'm thankful for Dragon's Gate for being just so damm cool and for sending guys out to the AWF. Thanks guys… Like you're reading this.

I'm thankful for the AWF because I work for them and I love it and so should you and you should support us and AWF rocks.

I'm thankful for 411 to give me a place to rehash the history and get complimented for it. Seriously, any other site would tell me to go screw myself, but 411 supports me, and I'm really grateful for it, since I know how lucky I am.

I'm thankful for That Other Site since without it I wouldn't have got this chance. Plus it's nice to see it's path since The Split… Even if I miss Eric S, the bitter bastard.

I'm thankful for Wrestlecrap since they are both funny and now have Re-Writing The Book. Double Whammy of Awesomeness!

I'm thankful for Stablewars because of the SASBY I know they're gonna give me. Right guys?

I'm thankful for Delirious, since he's just so damm cute. And thankful for Chris Jericho being just so damm funny.



I'm thankful for Bryan Danielson since he's just so damm cool.

I'm thankful for Stevie Richards still having a job, and thus that all so slim chance of getting a push. Especially given the whole Senator's Probe thing, Stevie turning into the equivalent of Cyrus 2K8 sounds good to me!

I'm thankful for WWE Video Games, Fire Pro Games, and EWR.

I'm thankful that John Cena and I share a birth date and thus there's a very easy angle we can run to help elevate me if/when.

I'm thankful for James Oakman for being so cool about me stealing his Rick-Roll video for last week. I'm also thankful for the fact that my readers don't mind being Rick-Rolled.

I'm thankful for Pro Wrestling, for all the ups and downs, the highs and lows, and for the memories it has given me. Espcially this one, my favourite moment in wrestling history.



I'm thankful for the 411 Podcast, since it'll give me a chance to try and pick up someone else's wife from the safety of my own continent.

I'm thankful for Larry having a sense of humor and accepting the lateness of this thing.

And finally, I'm thankful for you, the readers. After all, without you I am nothing. I'm just some guy rehashing the past. And that's not fun.

Sforcina's Super Duper Xmas Wish List!

Dear Santa.

How's it going? I'm good…

*paper crunching*

Dear Santa.

Yo, Big Guy! How's It Hanging?

*more paper crunching*

Dear Santa.

I-

*even more paper crunching*

Dear Random Fluctuations in the Space Time Continuum.

We've never spoken before, but since you're what causes stuff to happen, you seem the best entity to talk to. I have some things I'd like to happen in the next year, and if you could see your way to getting these to happen, that'd be awesome, thanks. Ahem.

I'd like the WWE to open their Asia Pacific region. Related to this is my desire for a WWE Contract, given that I'm a selfish bastard who wants money. Plus I actually like wrestling, as opposed to my current job.

I'd like Chris Jericho and Christian to both find that hardline, serious money making promo ability they are lacking to really burst through into superstardom.

I'd like Stevie Richards to get a major push, involving winning back Victoria and a path to the ECW World Title.

I'd like to see the SD Tag Belts to pinball between 2 teams for a fair while, Shelton/Burke and Colt/Steel. This requires the Second City Saints to ‘form' since if it didn't happen in a show WWE owns it didn't happen. But I'm sure you can handle that.

I'd like Edge/Taker to be an awesome match at WM that sees Edge lose and The Streak Survive. The Streak can't die, no-one is 100% solid sure enough to stick with WWE to break it, especially not Edge who, while awesome, clearly has no ability to control certain body parts.

I'd like MVP and Hardy to get match of the night at WM in an emotional, brutal match that sees the two men finally gain each other's respect and a standing ovation for both men.

I'd like to see He Who Must Not Be Named slowly, carefully, gingerly, re-inserted back into history. Just not via his moves being used.

I'd like a Sasby.

I'd like to use this for my theme music if/when I hit the big time.



I'd like to see Flair retire with class, dignity and a Horseman Tribute PPV.

I'd like to see Delirious get a major contract and keep his personality and gimmick. His name's negotiable, ‘Delirium' would be ok.

I'd like to see Shimmer invade the WWE Women's Division.

I'd like to see Victoria in Playboy.

And finally, really, there's just one thing for the following year that I, that all of us, really want.

I'd like 2008 to be NOTHING like 2007.

Thanks.

Mathew Sforcina
Earth, Sol System.

And now, another sliver of a fractured view of life, as from the pen of Dave Lovelace...