Truth B Told 11.29.07: Tonight We’re Going to Parity Like It’s 1999
Posted by Bayani Domingo on 11.29.2007
Do fans really crave “Dynasties” in wrestling or would we rather see Championships passed around free and easy. Like a Hilton sister.
Sunday night we almost saw the impossible happen. AJ Feeley almost single handedly struck down the New England Patriots with little more than a some well timed blitzes by his defense and the uncanny ability to actually hit an open wide receiver. Alas it was not meant to be. A week ago the "Evil Empire" signed A-Rod to yet another ridiculous contract after failing to beat the BoSox to the World Series. For those of you who like to watch cars go in circles for hours upon hours Jimmy Johnson won his second NASCAR championship in a row after edging out former golden boy Jeff Gordon (his still beating heart is actually #8 on my x-mas list this year). But most importantly due to a mistimed hip toss the wrestling dynasty known as John Cena came to an end abruptly two months ago. I guess not every "Dynasty" ends with a champagne bath and cool printed t-shirts and hats with your name on it.
In the wake of his over year long title reign we had the title "awarded" to Randy Orton, who then lost it to HHH in the same night, which ended with Orton taking the title back a few hours later in a "Last Man Standing Match" at No Mercy. I would doubt that we'd see the title change hands again before the clock strikes Midnight on 2007 so with that in mind we have exactly 1 real title change this year…although through no fault of the booking committee but rather a pectoral muscle that just went "snap, crackle, and pop". No one is mistaking Orton for a future "Dynasty" himself as he has less of a chance of holding that belt for longer than 6 months than Linda Hogan does of getting half of Hulk's mustache in the divorce settlement. The real question is why in this day and age the wrestling world is so set on going back to the "Dynasty Days" of Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair, Harley Race, and even the Fabulous Moolah?
Back in 1999 the WWF Championship changed hands 11 times. That seems pretty amazing now a day doesn't it? The Rock, Mankind, and HHH all won it twice, Stone Cold, ‘Taker, and Big Show held the title once. Hell, even Vince McMahon held the belt for a few short days. Was it a matter of "Playing hot potato" back then? Hardly, it was more of a return to "parity" in wrestling as there were enough really convincing candidates to hold the Championship that made the title changes seem less like "hot shotting" and the main event scene seem to packed with great wrestlers. With the exception of Vince's masturbatory title win, you can hardly argue that any of those men didn't deserve to hold the belt in 1999. I'm not sure if you can say that in 2007 with Lashley, Cena, and intermittently HBK and HHH on the shelf and a newly Metro-ed Jericho on the scene, but at least there are some decent choices in 2008.
The real problem in the WWE is inconsistency of available healthy wrestlers as well as the inconsistencies in booking. Partially this is due to "attitude" and "wellness" problems. Mr. Kennedy, Carlito, Chris Masters, and John Morrison are prime examples of the up and down nature of the business. In fact you could say that ever since Eddie and Benoit kicked the bucket "wellness" is now the #1 determinant in terms of booking in the "e". Sad, but true, I guess back when no one cared about "wellness" or we just assumed since no one was super ‘jacked' during the "Attitude Era" *coughHHHcough* that it wasn't really even a consideration for the most part. Then again there was such a smaller gap between the Champion and the other "main eventers" that you could pass the title between them seamlessly. That theory didn't work out so well when the title went from ‘Taker to Edge to …Khali, did it?
Now don't get me wrong, there was a time and place for a "dynasty" in wrestling. Ric Flair, Hulk Hogan, even Pedro Morales and Bruno Sammartino had their place amongst the "Dynasties" in wrestling, but I think those days are over. If anything Cena's and JBL's title reigns proved that. The backlash both received for their year long reigns are proof positive that neither the "Superman babyface" nor the "Chicken shit heel" long term title reigns will be met with open arms anymore. If anything I believe "dynasties" like this expose wrestling's obvious "fakeness" more than anything else because it's hardly believable that any athlete would be able to go undefeated for an entire year when facing "championship caliber" talent month after month. Would it happen in MMA, boxing, tennis, or even NASCAR? Anyone ever heard of an undefeated race car driver? While I realize that everyone and their grandma's gardener knows wrestling is "predetermined", it seems that most companies still operate under the belief that protecting that small sense of "realism" is still important. Having a "dynasty" in this day and age seems to contradict that.
When you look at TNA you can take the other argument that sometimes "parity" is the result of a large group of wrestlers being brought down to the same level rather than being raised up. TNA seems to hotshot the championship whenever they feel they need to bring back that "Attitude Era" mantra that "anything can happen". They figure that if a title change can happen at any PPV or even episode of weekly television that fans won't want to miss a minute of the action and will tune in at all costs. Problem is that without a good stabilization of the title then it makes everyone that holds that belt for a few weeks or months look like very "beatable" and without a good long dominating character to rise above the fray the title look like an accessory and not a trophy. When you book everyone inconsistently and poorly, I guess it only makes sense that anyone can win the title as much as anyone else can lose it. It's easy to reach the mountain top, when it's a very short mountain to climb.
Looking now to the land of the "Dynasties" it seems like RoH is a bit bi-polar every few years. When RoH started out the title went from Ki to Xavier in the blink of an eye, Xavier then got a second cup of coffee with it before dropping it to Joe who had a real "dynasty" until he lost it to Aries and his "mini-dynasty" then it was Punk and Gibson who defended the title successfully 4 times each and onto the other "Dynasty" known as Danielson. Then a cup of espresso with Homicide, a Nippon Dynasty, and we have Nigel. It remains to be seen what will happen with the title now but it's 50/50 he pulls out another 2 defenses before he drops it or he may hold on another 18. there seems to be no in between for RoH. To be honest it seems that RoH fans have come to expect the "Dynasty" more than "parity" but I think it has more to do with fans just lapping up whatever Gabe spoon feeds to them. In fact it seems anything less than a 6 month reign is a huge disappointment. Does that say more for the fans wanting stability in the title picture? Or does it say that there are periods of time when one wrestler is so far above the other contenders that taking the title from them doesn't seem plausible? During the Punk/Gibson era the roster was full of potential champions. But during the Morishima/Nigel era the roster didn't seem so stacked after Morishima dismantled the roster and what was left hardly seemed as polished. Did Nigel win the RoH title…or was it handed to him by default? Where the "e" has "wellness" to worry about, RoH has to worry about just retaining the talent they have. Then again, never underestimate an injury or two (winning a title match with one arm anyone?) or the power of short sighted booking (didn't Strong, Claudio, and Hero used to be "contenders"?). I think a "dynasty" if used properly can be a good choice, rather than a "last resort". At least on the Indy scene when the only real consistency is unpredictability.
I think the biggest difference between RoH and the WWE is that it seems like they make their "Dynasties" seem less forced. When you look at Samoa Joe and Danielson it makes sense why they were so unbeatable for so long. They were dominant and booked as such. It was easy for the fans to believe Joe could hold the belt for almost two years. It seemed ridiculous that JBL held on to the title for so long. They took a chance that Aries would be a break out star and he did very well for himself, he also had the kind of back up that legitimized him in GenNext, main because he didn't have the same kind of aura as an AmDrag or Joe. The only real anomaly seems to be Gibson and Punk, while Punk and Homicide got their title reigns more as a "lifetime achievement award", Gibson's reign is a true mystery. Then again, Xavier had a title reign so I guess some ideas are just better on paper. Regardless I think the idea of a "dynasty" is much better received when a wrestler earns that kind of respect in the ring, meaning his winning streak is born out of domination rather than cartoonish booking. Unless, of course, you've Joey Ryan.
Hey, I'm not saying that every title reign needs to either be 12 months or 12 days, but there has to be a healthy compromise. I don't believe that the TNA policy of 5 day title reigns makes anyone want to buy more PPVs and watch more TV. I think it makes the title look just as week as the champion that just got beat in the same week they won it. Then again when you get a "Honky Tonk Man Title Reign" like JBL did and Joey Ryan got in PWG, you have to expect a backlash because at some point the fans just don't care. We aren't going to keep buying PPVs just to be disappointed time and time again. That's what dating is for. Even worse it he "Superman Push" that Hogan popularized and Cena dusted off and ran with. As much as we hate not seeing the heel get his, we get tired of seeing the Uber face retain no matter what. I think fans appreciate a good title change, but too much of anything can be bad for you. Which is why hand razors are so damn popular in the IWC. Yes, you will go blind. But the fact of the matter is that fans are getting to be just as tired of "Dynasties" as we are of "hotshotting". That is unless you own an RoH sweater. Nothing better than having Margaret Cho hold a title from training camp till the Super Bowl, right RoHbots?
The Truth
Parity can thrive when there is enough credible talent to go around. Having to "park" a title on one champion for lack of other options makes the entire title reign seem so forced and ridiculous. I love to see dominant champions in companies so long as they have a) earned that kind of respect and reputation, and b) there is a logical time to end that reign and it happens AT that logical time. Not just when someone gets a big boo boo. I think there is a place for a "dynasty" in wrestling, in fact you need to have one thrown in occasionally, if nothing more than to create stability in an otherwise chaotic or lethargic title picture. The problem lies not with the title run, but the timing of the subsequent title change. You gotta know when to say when. Unfortunately not every booker knows how to move the title off a "dynasty" at the perfect time when the ‘heat' is at it's hottest. Until then I guess we'll be stuck with Honky Tonk reigns and Rock-Paper-Scissors battle royals for the belt.
Coming Up Short
So we've been waiting how long for Jericho to come back and he ends up wrestling the guy that just got beaten by a ‘color commentator'. Nice. Well so much for making he fans pay to see if Y2J still has it. It's nice to know that a real "superstar" can not only manage to get a pop slightly less than Jeff Hardy's can also debut a brand new finisher…too bad it's also Sharkboy's transition move. Ouch. Well…anyone else feeling a little "shorted" by the second coming of Jericho? Break the expectations Dooooooooooown!!
6 Degrees of…
You'll have to ask Satrang about this one. I guess the only logical choice to link Haku to this week is...
I pity your inner child if you can't figure out the connection here.
King of 6 Degrees Victory Speech
Haha...
To paraphrase one of the greatest after one of his big wins, "with a tear in my eye, this is the greatest night of my life..."
The finals definitely had an interesting finish. There were more near falls and swerves than a TNA pay per view main event match. Double C I'm sure will claim he got screwed, but to paraphrase another great after a big tournament win, "this proves without a shadow of a doubt, you don't got what it takes anymore."
But seriously this tournament thing was fun. I'm going to go out like Trish, on top and as a Champion. I'll keep reading, er...looking at the pics in TBT, but you probably won't see any entries from me until talk of tournament season comes rolling around again.
And being I won I want to throw out a link for next week's 6Do. Haku. Why Haku? Well just because he's a legit bad ass and I'm slightly scared of him, even though I've never met him.
Mark Satrang
And there you have it folks, Mark Satrang, going out in style…but like Terry Funk, you know he won't stay gone for long. I guess this means that the new breeds of 6DO'ers have a new legacy to live up to. That being skating through unscathed into the finals and winning by the skin of a G.I. Joe reference.
Whatchu talkin' bout readers?
I'd like to congratulate Mark Satrang on an epic battle and on winning The King of 6 Degrees Tournament of Mild Discomfort. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a bit disappointed that I didn't win (I thought I had it in the bag with my Richard Egan to Gerard Butler link and my Rebecca Romijn reference), but I give Mark full credit...G.I. Joe was the greatest american hero.
And thanks Bayani for organizing the tournament, it was fun. I vote for another one...in due time, of course...I still have to recover from this one.
Speaking of which, no entry for me this week. Hafta finish some work then I'm off on vacation. See you next week.
Double C
Double C fought a hard battle and just barely lost it out to a 6DO legend. To think that had I gotten one more vote his way and he would be drinking deep from the cup of victory this week. Or…that slurpee cup with The Rock on it he got from 7-11 six years ago. It was free with the extra large you know. Well I have no doubt Double C will be back next year and perhaps he will be the one riding the #1 seed into the tourney.
Maria Theresa Dalagan has a Y2J mark out moment:
i admit i marked out for y2j's return. it was damn good. the only thing that reminded me that it's already 2007 is seeing him cut a promo with his hair cut short. but his promo is still gold on the microphone.
i have my hesitations on his return though coz i knew that in that past, hhh buried him several times in order to make himself look good. besides at that time before he married stef, he already has some sort of backstage political power and one of those casualties is chris jericho. it sucks, i know, that one time i thought that id rather not see y2j back on wwe raw is only he is made to job to hhh.
note im Filipino too. isnt it obvious on my email address?
Well you got it right on Jericho my brown "sista". Hey, I used to love Y2J too, but it's clear his hey days are behind him and although it's great to take that trip down memory lane, I just can't imagine he's back on top to stay. Jericho isn't going to come back to win the title and run out a good long title reign. As soon as HHH realizes he's around and is done bitchin' out one blonde singer wanna-be he'll be coming back for Jericho. Hell, he's already going ‘heel' as is. So get ready to see the Ayatollah of Rock n' Rollah do a jobollah.
I just read your article about Jericho. He's always been one of my favorite wrestlers. He's just fuckin' awesome.
I think it's true that he's never need a Rock or an Austin. But you've got to consider one thing. A lot of guys are gone. The main event card/roster is shallow. Jericho can put over younger guys (to me, he's a good worker) and be part of the main event also. I think a couple of wins would be good to start, and then maybe a nice feud.
In my opinion there's not many people better than Jericho in WWE right now (as in all around, not just wrestlin', or promo work).
Plus with the good gimmick, more people should accept him.
But we'll see how it goes.
Rick Landis
There is reason to be optimistic. But there is also reason to be realistic. While Jericho can still go in the ring, based on what I saw on RAW, and is still one hell of a showman and talker, it's clear that even the crowd is a bit underwhelmed by him. It's not his fault. He was never "the man" in his first run, and now he's back and …well… that's about all. I think Jericho could easily find himself in the mix in the title picture, but really, is he a bigger star than HHH? HBK? Cena when he returns? Even Lashley? I just hope I'm wrong about his place on the card and if he fails to capture the belt from Orton, then I think we found our next "Foley".
6 Degrees Results
Honorable Mention
1) Jackie Moore lost her 2nd WWF women's Championship to Stephanie McMahon
2) Many people love to insult Steph- nobody more often than Y2J Chis Jericho
3) Chris Jericho is the lead singer in his rock band- Fozzy. The same roll, on a much lower scale, is filled by me!
4) I hail from the city of Preston- the same place as Maximillian Parker and Ann Campbell Gillies- the parents of Butch Cassidy
5) Butch Cassidy was famously portrayed in film by Paul Newman
6) Paul Newman turned down the title role in Dirty Harry, as did John Wayne.
Yes, I just included myself as a link between Chris Jericho and Butch Cassidy.
I'm happy with that!
Luke Southworth
Nice job ending with the Leeroy Jenkins. Too bad I couldn't find a way to put him in my link. But here goes:
John Wayne was in "How the West was Won" in 1962 with Eli Wallach.
Eli Wallach was in the 2006 film "The Hoax" with Richard Gere.
Richard Gere played Danny Zuko in Grease, as did Barry Bostwick.
Barry Bostwick was in the TV sitcom "Spin City" with Michael J. Fox, who is affected by Parkinson's Disease.
Parkinson's Disease led to the death of the American poet and "Moment of my Life" author, Jacqueline S. Moore.
Jacqueline S. Moore goes by the pen name of Jackie Moore.
Enjoy,
Stax
#3
This is my first attempt at 6 degrees of separation, I hope this will be different enough to stick out:
John Wayne served as the conscience of Jesse Custer in the comic book Preacher
Preacher was written by Garth Ennis, who also did an ultra-violent take on Marvel Comics' character The Punisher
The Punisher's first claim to fame was a failed attempt to kill Spider-Man
Issue #14 of The Tangled Web of Spider-Man was co-written by Scott Levy, better known as Raven
Raven has, in the course of his time in TNA, competed a few times with James Storm
James Storm was managed for a time by that pretty mean sister Miss Jackie
I'll be awaiting my accolades or scorn, whichever I get.
D
Comic books, huh? The Raven-Storm connection is kind of weak but I'll let it slip for this time. Comic books….huh.
#2
After my embarrassing no-show during the tournament, it is time to outdo Mark every single week. Mark, you now have a target on you bigger than Linda's checking account after her divorce from the Hulkster.
1) John Wayne was in the Oscar winning "True Grit" with Robert Duvall
2) Robert Duvall was in "Thank You for Smoking" with William H Macy
3) William H Macy was in "Boogie Nights" with Julianne Moore
4) Julianne Moore was in "The Big Labowski" with Asia Carrera
5) Asia Carrera was in "Forever Asia" with Jenna Jameson
6) Jenna Jameson will be in the upcoming film "Sin-Jin Smyth" witch will also star Jacqueline Moore.
Wow, every film here is either a porno, a movie about porn, or has a title that sounds like it could be gay porn.
Louis Jones
Mmm…porn.
#1.
Sure a nice "Titty fuck" from the former Mrs. Billy Kidman would be sweet, but how many of you have ever gotten to rub one out between a chick's ribs? "Oh Yeah baby, I'm going to give your rib cage the thrill of a lifetime…but why don't you scoot into the bathroom and throw up before we get down to business".
I think it would sound like playing a xylophone.
Six Degrees
1. Jackie as Ms. Texas Held the USWA Women's Championship at the Same time Jerry The King Lawler Held the USWA Unified World Heavyweight Championship and both lost their respective belts on the same night Dec. 7, 1992.
2. Jerry The King Lawler appeared as himself in an episode of Insomniac with comedian Dave Attell, where The King refereed a topless jello fight between two strippers.
3. Dave Attell appeared in Scary Movie 4 as Knifeman and shared a scene with Craig Bierko.
4. Craig Bierko played a lawyer who dressed as Buzz Lightyear on Boston Legal which stars William Shatner.
5. William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy played themselves in the Star Trek centric Futurama episode "Where No Fan Has Gone Before".
6. In the documentary Trekkies Leonard Nimoy tells a story about when he met John Wayne at a Paramount party in the 70's. According to Nimoy, John Wayne came up behind him and clapped him on the shoulder and said, "You've had your ears clipped."
Jason
The great thing about Torrie Wilson's anorexic self is that her torso already has finger grips when you're hittin' it from behind. You know, I had no idea what to do with this weird ass entry so…I just let it take 1st place. Kudos Jason. Now get to picking for next week's link.
Left Overs…and random shit from the road
I hate fat people. Mostly on planes. Why is it that fat people always seem to think they're entitled to their chair and 6 inches on either side of their chair. Then they get made if you bump them because their side rolls are covering up your arm rest…and part of your arm. From now on, I'm charging the fat chick in the seat next to me 20% of my ticket price if they're taking 20% of my seat.
So Matt Hardy lost Lita to Edge and now Ashley to Paul London? Damn, at this rate he'll be losing the Diva Search winner to Hacksaw in no time. Hooooooo!!
Lashley is slated to return to the ring next month. I wonder if he'll notice that his regular piece of ass isn't on the roster anymore. I guess he'll just go back to having to bend over the mid-card instead. Try not to tense up Cody, it'll only hurt for a week.
Sting won't be on Impact any time soon, or perhaps TNA at all anymore. You think at the very least they'd give him the proper send off in TNA before he disappears. I believe he needs to no-show a PPV. Then be replaced by Eric Young.
Why the f*ck is every iron in every hotel room broken? It's enough to almost make me not want to steal it.
AJ's letter to Christian was just sweet. I could totally imagine AJ and Christian playing Halo 3 against Shelley and Sabin. Or Samoa Joe playing Burgertime with Amazing Kong. No, not the video game.
So Batista admits to having dated Melina. Hmmm…I wonder if he ever makes Melina call his package the "spinebuster"?
Want to know my favorite two words on a business trip? Per Diem. The trick is having the Déjà vu print out the receipts to read "Olive Garden" when I do my expense report.
Santino got beaten by Jericho and beaten up by Lawler. I bet even after the show when he got a pity fuck Maria insisted on being on top.
Random Asian Bitch Lookin' Good Pic of the Week
So you want your teenage son to learn to play the piano huh?
Pimpin' In High Places
No links this week. I'm on yet ANOTHER training trip, this time to the Bay Area and well…I'm tired as hell from pretending to give a shit. So…read, um…I guess Ari, and Csonka (and his podcast, cuz' if you don't Santa will shit in your stocking), Sammy, 3X Threat guys, Sforcina, Small (and his teeny, tiny…report), you can check out Fact or Fiction, or Ask 411 if you don't have time to wiki shit yourself, maybe some Mattis, Stu, or Baumgarner. But if you're not up to reading some of the finely written material we have in the wrestling zone then you can also check out Christy Lansdell. It's great to have a real female perspective on staff.
It will be nice to spend a week at home for once. Minnesota, to Vegas, to San Francisco…I feel like I'm stretched thinner than Lita's labia at a bachelor party. I'm looking forward to settling in, getting some x-mas shopping done, and most importantly…hitting up another titty club. O.C. this time…oh yeah, Happy B-day Matt. Since it's your b-day, I'll even let you pick the stripper…that grinds on me for a $20. Get ready LA cuz' daddy's coming home.
