The Custom Made News Report 12.09.07

Posted by Ryan Byers on 12.09.2007

HUGE preview of Monday Night Raw's fifteenth anniversary episode and DVD, Ken Kennedy once again lies through his teeth, TNA considers bringing in a former ECW star, cancer fears Kenta Kobashi, and much more!

Welcome, one and all, to the Custom Made News Report. I'm Ryan Byers, and we've had an absolutely loaded week of wrestling news, with tons of year end shows occurring not just in the United States but also in Mexico and Japan. Below are some of the higlights and lowlights from 'rasslin over the last several days.

All the Stuff from Stamford

Ken Kennedy: STILL A LIAR

I was planning on this week's column being a fairly light-hearted, upbeat piece given that we had some positive stories to talk about between WWE's Tribute to the Troops show, Kenta Kobashi's return, and Monday Night Raw's fifteenth anniversary. Then Ken Kennedy started lying about his history of drug use again.


Ken Kennedy

For those of you who may have missed it, back in August I did a column summarizing and analyzing a report by Sports Illustrated magazine which stated that fourteen different professional wrestlers had received shipments of steroids and related drugs from internet supplier Signature Pharmacy. Kennedy received drugs anastrozole, somatropin, and testosterone as recently as February 2007. All of this took place despite a quote from Kennedy in the U.K. Sun in August which read:

"I don't take steroids. I have taken steroids in the past. I never took a lot of steroids, but when I was working the independent scene I was trying everything I could. I never took massive amounts of steroids and do you know why I stopped taking them? Because of the Wellness Policy."

You'll note, of course, that Kennedy was not on the "independent scene" in February of 2007, when he was still receiving drugs from Signature Pharmacy, one of which (testosterone) is a steroid. The conclusion that anybody with half a brain can take away from this situation? Ken Kennedy is a liar.

Three months later, Kennedy finally addressed this situation in an interview, which was conducted earlier this week by Mike Mooneyham. In that interview, Kennedy stated that he was a client of Signature Pharmacy because:

"I had a legitimate medical reason to have it. How was I supposed to know my doctor's a quack? I was injured and had a legitimate reason. I tore my lat in 2005. I had surgery, went home and had a staph infection that I almost died from. I lost about 45 pounds in about three days. I had a legitimate medical reason for having it, however my name turned up on that list. Vince and the company's hands were tied. They had to suspend me."

Of course, there are several problems with the above quote. The first is its apparent inconsistency with the quote given to The Sun in August. Kennedy said that he stopped taking steroids because of WWE's wellness policy. If he was really being forthright with that paper, why wouldn't he say something to the effect of "the only steroids that I have taken since the implementation of the wellness policy have been legitimately prescribed to me by a medical doctor?" Though I don't think failing to note his medical steroid use is necessarily indicative of deliberate deception, it certainly would have been more accurate and would have protected Kennedy from claims that he is changing his story after the fact, which are sure to crop up in the wake of the Mooneyham interview. Another big problem with Kennedy's version of the suspension story is that, even if he did have a legitimate medical reason to take steroids, the WWE wellness policy (or at least the version of it that was initially made available to the public before mysteriously vanishing from the company's corporate website) expressly prohibits obtaining prescriptions through online pharmacies such as Signature EVEN IF those prescriptions are made by a legitimate medical doctor. Does Kennedy really expect people to believe that he's dumb enough to have his legitimate prescription filled in a manner that would still get him suspended? Even if Kennedy didn't fill the prescription himself, surely he would be bright enough to inform whoever he does have filling it that there are certain places that the drugs cannot be obtained from without negative consequences for his career.

Then we get to the biggest problem with Kennedy's recent statement. Despite the fact that he claims that all of the drugs he obtained from Signature were for a legitimate medical purpose, the "legitimate medical purpose" for the anastrozole that he received from Signature is treatment of breast cancer. Men actually can develop breast cancer in rare instances, but I have a feeling that if Ken Kennedy had been afflicted with such a condition that the news would have come out. So what other uses does anastrozole have, excactly? It is used by individuals who take steroids for bodybuilding purposes when they're coming off of a cycle to offset the growth of female-like breast tissue. Given that rehabilitation from a legitimate injury wouldn't require steroid use heavy enough to cause "bitch tits" and given that Kennedy would almost certainly not be using this anastrozole to offset effects of steroids taken prior to the onset of the wellness policy, there is one obvious conclusion to draw: This is not an honest man.

With that said, let's move on to the fun stuff . . .

Monday Night Raw Turns Fifteen

Yes, believe it or not, everybody's favorite professional wrestling television program has now been running for a decade and a half. I don't know how many of you out there can make this claim, but I'm one of the many fans who has been watching the show since the beginning. Though I can't say that I've caught every episode (because, let's face it, things come up from time to time on Monday nights), I've consistently been watching the show for the last fifteen years with no extended hiatuses. Given that fact, I'm particularly excited for this Monday's show, not because of anything that will happen with the company's current crop of stars but rather because we're guaranteed plenty of appearances by wrestlers of WWE's past and because we're guaranteed replays of some great moments from throughout the history of the program.

So, what exactly is on tap for this Monday? Let's take a look . . .


Damien Demento, long-forgotten participant in the first Monday Night Raw main event

The Plot

According to the Wrestling Observer Newsletter, the focus of the Raw fifteenth anniversary show will be none other than Vincent Kennedy McMahon. Apparently there is already an outline of the show drafted, and it primarily features wrestling stars of both the past and the future finding ways to humiliate the company's head man, with some of them using force and some of them using more cerebral tactics. Obviously, this was teased at the end of last week's episode of Raw, as Stephanie McMahon begged her father not to attend the anniversary event, as he was sure to be beaten up given the number of his enemies that would be there and the history that he has of being embarrassed on Raw. Combine that with the fact that Vince claims that he will be announcing the "Greatest Superstar in Raw History" and with the fact that it's painfully obvious that he'll be giving himself the honor, and you've got a fine setup for some for some shenanigans involving Vince's face meeting the mat.

Of course, I can already hear the complaining now. I can already hear certain individuals on the internet getting up on arms about how the show should feature the wrestlers instead of Vinnie Mac. I've got a simple message for those individuals: GET OVER YOURSELVES. For better or for worse, Vince McMahon actually is one of the most entertaining characters in the history of professional wrestling, from his feud with Stone Cold Steve Austin to his rivalry with Donald Trump. Using his character is one of the few logical ways to get the other big stars of the show's past involved in one cohesive storyline, and I'm looking forward to it. Besides, any sort of Raw milestone show which does not feature McMahon eating a Stone Cold Stunner will feel completely hollow.

There is also, according to Dave Meltzer, a possibility that the main event of Wrestlemania will be teased on this particular show. Big Dave didn't mention what that main event would be, but, if I had to make a prediction, I'd bet that we're going to see the beginning of a slow build towards Randy Orton vs. Triple H for the Raw Title. The promotion is teasing a "Reunion of Evolution" for the show, which is of course the stable that featured Orton and HHH teaming with Dave Batista and Ric Flair. Though Evolution was certainly an integral part of the show during 2004, in the grand scheme of Raw history the group was little more than a footnote, so I can't imagine why this reunion would be planned unless it is used to set up an angle for further down the road, namely an angle involving the H's and the Legend Killer.

The Guest Stars

So who will be making Vince's night a living hell? There's a long list of former wrestling stars who will be at the event according to WWE, including but not limited to Steve Austin, Hulk Hogan, Erich Bischoff, Mick Foley, Trish Stratus, Amy "Lita" Dumas, and Tammy "Sunny" Sytch. Numerous reports are stating that the list of wrestlers that WWE has contacted is extensive, with some sources going as far as to claim that the promotion floated an offer to everybody who has appeared on Raw, with the exception of Brock Lesnar, Bill Goldberg, and talent currently under TNA contract.

All in all, I'd have to call this list of "main event" guest stars a bit underwhelming. Though I generally enjoy Hogan, Austin, and Foley's performances, they're the guys that we see every time that WWE wants to do something special. This means that, though we don't see them on the show every week, we've still seen plenty of their acts over the last several years. Their popping up feels more like the same old routine than something truly special. If anything, the most exciting names on the above list for me are Stratus, Lita, and Sunny, and I'm not just saying that because I'm a heterosexual man. They are characters who don't pop up every three to four months on Raw, meaning that they're much more fresh than the Hogans and the Austins of the world. In fact, it's probably been over ten years since Ms. Sytch has been featured on Raw, and it'll be interesting to see if she still has the charisma that made her such a favorite among fans in her last run with the company.

In addition to the major stars listed above, a trio of lesser known wrestlers has also been confirmed as appearing at the event by the Observer. Gangrel, Jim Neidhart, and Mae Young will all be present. The timing is good for Neidhart, because you have to imagine that eventually he'll be back to do an angle introducing his daughter Nattie, who is currently training for her WWE debut. First making an appearance on the anniversary show allows the Anvil the opportunity to get his name on the lips of fans again, which will make his appearance for the Nattie debut all the more meaningful. I don't have much to say about Gangrel . . . but I hope that he's either reunited with Edge or forced in to some kind of "vampire off" with the ECW Vampire. Young's appearance is particularly interesting, as it's the first that she's made since the death of her long-time friend and on-screen cohort the Fabulous Moolah. Whether WWE will allow Young to acknowledge Moolah's passing (or whether Young will even want to acknowledge it) remains to be seen. Apparently Young will be accompanied on her trip by Donna Christenello, a wrestler who Moolah trained in the 1960's and remained close with until the end of her life. Chistenello may not actually appear on camera due to the fact that current WWE fans arent familiar with her, but Mae Young also had very little WWE/WWF background when she first showed up on Raw alongside Moolah in the 1990's, so who knows what will happen.

Just as interesting as the list of people who will be at the show is the list of individuals who will NOT be at the show. Though it's always possible for last minute deals to bring in some of these individuals, the Observer has made it clear that, despite attempts to get them on board, the Rock and Bret Hart will not be involved in the show. This shouldn't come as much of a surprise to anybody who has followed the mens' careers. Hart has repeatedly refused to appear on actual wrestling shows for the company, opting instead to work on projects like compilation DVDs and the WWE Hall of Fame special. There is also reportedly ill will between the Hitman and his former employer at this point, because the parties had come to a verbal agreement in which WWE was to distribute Hart's recently released autobiography in the United States. That deal fell apart when the E changed its mind about releasing the book unedited, instead wanting to make changes to a reported 400 of its 550 pages.

Meanwhile, Rock has stated in numerous interviews that he is done with professional wrestling, and, although that statement may not hold water in five or ten years, it is definitely the case in December 2007. This has not stopped WWE from featuring Rock in numerous advertisements for the show, including being the only individual pictured on the seemingly thousands of banner ads for the program that have popped up on the internet. Hopefully individuals web savvy enough to view sites on which these banners appear will also be savvy enough to read articles like this which alert them to the fact that the Rock will not be in attendance. However, it will be interesting to see whether there is any backlash directed towards WWE on Tuesday morning for not delivering something that fans feel they "promised."

Also not appearing (according to PW Insider will be the artist formerly known as Paul Bearer, whose real life job at a funeral home is preventing him from making the trip. Word is that his funeral home business is great. People are dying to get in there.

The Card

In addition to all of the above, WWE is advertising two big matches for the show. The first is Jeff Hardy defending his Intercontinental Title against Carlito in a ladder match. Color me underwhelmed. Though I understand that the company probably wanted to have a big gimmick match on the show to accompany its numerous guest stars who will not be wrestling, surely they could've done something better than this. Jeff Hardy has been on a real hot streak lately, but Carlito has never been all that great in the ring and was particularly bad during the phase of his career in which he was attempting a ton of high flying maneuvers. Every time he springboarded off of the ropes or did a flip in mid-ring, he looked like he was going to hurt either himself or his opponent, and that's exactly the type of offense that this ladder match is going to encourage him to use. Hopefully I'm proven wrong, but this has the potential to be a complete disaster and one of the worst ladder matches in the history of the company.

Match number two is being billed as the "Raw Fifteenth Anniversary Battle Royale." No participants for the battle royale have been announced, but many fans online are hoping and speculating that the match will contain a mix of current Raw wrestlers and individuals who were part of the program's past. I frankly hope that this speculation is true, in part because I'm more interested in seeing the midcarders of Raw's past than its main eventers and in part because, if executed properly, giving a young up and comer a victory in a battle royale comprised of many names from Raw's past could give that rookie wrestler a real shot in the arm.

Oh, and Did We Mention There's a DVD? (Part 1)

WWE isn't just celebrating the fifteenth anniversary of Raw by putting on a special episode of the show. Oh no. They've also assembled a "Best of Raw" three disc DVD that, according to Amazon, will be released on December 26. Silvervision, the company that distributes WWE's DVDs in the United Kingdom, recently released a list of the set's contents, and I thought it would be fun to run down the matches and angles that WWE has decided to include on the set. It's my understanding that these are matches and angles that will be shown in full, though I could always be proven wrong once the discs are actually in my possession (and they will be).

As soon as I began writing this preview, I realized that the DVD set is absolutely STACKED, featuring far more footage than I thought could be crammed in to three discs. Given that fact, we're going to have to stretch this preview out over the course of the next three weeks so that I don't write a news report so long that it completely loses everybody's interest. So, we'll tackle disc one today, hit disc two next week, and then take care of disc three on 12/23, just days before the set is released.

Disc One

First RAW – January 11, 1993

I don't know whether the DVD will include the ENTIRE first episode (which would clock in at around forty minutes without commercials) or whether highlights will be shown. However, if we get the full episode, the matches are Yokozuna defeating Koko B. Ware, The Steiner Brothers going over the Executioners (Barry Hardy and Dwayne "Gillberg" Gill under masks), Shawn Michaels vanquishing Max Moon (who, if I recall correctly, was at this point HBK's longtime friend Paul Diamond), and the Undertaker squashing Damien Demento in YOUR main event.

Mr. Perfect vs. Ric Flair Loser Leaves WWE Match – January 18, 1993

The DVD set may cost upwards of $30, but I'd buy it just to have this one match. This was the first truly great in-ring encounter in Raw history, with the two men putting on a classic that many were surprised didn't make the cut for the "Ultimate Ric Flair Collection" a few years back. In addition to being a great wrestling match, it was also Flair's legitimate swan song in the WWF, as within weeks he would be back with World Championship Wrestling.

Parking Lot Brawl – May 10, 1993

It's been fourteen years, so please excuse my forgetfulness as it relates to this angle. I honestly do not recall who is involved, but I vaguely remember Mr. Perfect and Shawn Michaels having some sort of scuffle around this period. Maybe it's them, maybe it's not.

Razor Ramon vs. The Kid – May 17, 1993

The Kid, of course, is Sean Waltman. He was previously known on the independent circuit as the Lightning Kid, and, after this match, would be rechristened the 1-2-3 Kid. After being squashed on prior Raws by the likes of Doink and Curtis Hughes, Waltman scored the upset victory that made his career, pinning Razor with a moonsault bodyblock. It's not the greatest match in the world, but it's a hell of a moment.

Shawn Michaels vs. Marty Jannetty Intercontinental Championship Match – May 17, 1993

This match actually managed to rival Flair vs. Perfect as the greatest Raw match of 1993. Michaels, having defeated numerous opponents for his IC belt, threw out an arrogant challenge that was answered by his former tag team partner Jannetty, who HBK notoriously tossed through a plate glass window months earlier. MJ managed to take the belt off of Michaels in a hell of a bout, although some "personal demons" prevented the championship from being the first of many for Marty.

Gorilla Monsoon Fires Bobby Heenan – December 6, 1993

This is more of a comedy bit than anything else, as Heenan had long been sore about not being the color man for Monday Night Raw. (He was replaced by horrendously un-funny comedian Rob Bartlett.) After numerous attempts to sneak in to the show, newly appointed WWF President Gorilla Monsoon tossed the Brain from the building and axed him from the promotion. As with Flair, this was Heenan's legitimate departure from the fed, as he would soon be in WCW, never to return to Vince & Co. on a full-time basis.

Bret Hart vs. 1-2-3 Kid WWE Championship Match – July 11, 1994

Oh sweet Jesus, yes! This is probably the third match on the set that I would pay $30 just to see. It's an odd one in that it wasn't really part of a rivalry between Hart and the Kid, and Waltman's initial push after the Razor angle had started to die down by this point. It was just a random match for the belt which was thrown out on television and given plenty of time. It wound up being an absolute classic and probably the best match of Waltman's career. If you've never seen this before, you need to go out of your way to do so.

The Search for The Undertaker – August 1994

Okay, here we transition from awesome to campy. I'm assuming from the title that we're dealing with the vignettes which featured Leslie Nielsen of The Naked Gun fame investigating the disappearance of the Undertaker, which was all part of the setup for the epically bad Undertaker vs. fake Undertaker match at Summerslam '94. I was a kid when I watched these skits for the first time, and I thought they were stupid then. I may be capable of enjoying them in a "so bad it's good" way thirteen years later. We'll see.

King's Court with William Shatner – January 9, 1995

This has retroactively become a much bigger moment in wrestling history than it originally was, in large part due to the fact that the WWF convinced Shatner to induct Lawler in to their Hall of Fame last year. The short version of the story is that the Shat was involved with a new series debuting on USA after Raw (I believe Battletech), and this was a part of the hype for that show. It's notable for the former Captain Kirk busting out a MONKEY FLIP~! on the King of Memphis.

Shawn Michaels vs. Owen Hart – November 20, 1995

Most of the WWF's fans knew by this point that wrestling was "fake," but this was one of the rare moments when the company managed to successfully blur the line and make viewers think that they had just witnessed something legitimate. This is the infamous match in which Hart blasted HBK with an enzuguri and laid him out, ostensibly threatening Michaels' career because of the prior head injury he had previously suffered being beaten up by "nine thugs at a bar in Syracuse, New York." The incident also inspired one of the most remarkably cheesy music videos in wrestling history, "Tell Me a Lie," which is featured on the recently released Shawn Michaels DVD set.

Vader attacks WWE President Gorilla Monsoon – January 22, 1996

Now this is a moment that made a huge impression on me when I originally watched it. Though he was still a huge guy and realistically no older than some men who are actively wrestling today, at the time I thought of Gorilla as this feeble old announcer incapable of defending himself. He was certainly never involved in on-camera physical altercations, which was generally true of WWF authority figures at the time. Those two factors combined to make it a very memorable angle that was, in several ways, ahead of its time.

A Touch of Goldust – May 27, 1996

The title makes this sound like more of a profile on the Goldust character, though the May 27, 1996 Raw featured a match between Goldust and the Ultimate Warrior that ended in a double count out. (I believe it was a King of the Ring tournament match.) I can see why the company would want to include Goldust on the DVD set given that he is a memorable character, but I can't imagine why they would use that match to do it.

Pillman's Got a Gun – November 4, 1996

Hopefully everybody knows what this one is. It's already been featured extensively in WWF home video and book releases, including the Monday Night War DVD. Steve Austin attempts to break in to Brian Pillman's home, and Pillman pulls a handgun on him. Even though it's been shown many times on WWF programming throughout the years, I have no problem with it being included again here since it is one of the more historic moments in the history fo the television show.

Mankind vs. The Undertaker No Holds Barred – December 9, 1996

I have to admit that I have no memories of this particular match, although the feud as a whole between the two men was outstanding. I don't see why this would be any different.

Shawn Loses His Smile – February 13, 1997

When this initially happened, I had not yet stumbled upon the wide world of dirtsheets and the internet, so I had no clue what the hell was going on. I was old enough to realize that it was so out of nowhere that SOMETHING had to be up, though lack of "inside" sources prevented me from knowing what exactly that something was. It should certainly be interesting to go back and watch now that I know the whole story.

The Ninth Wonder of the World – February 17, 1997

The title that WWE gave to this feature makes it clear that it's about Chyna, although less clear is exactly what happened on the February 17, 1997 Raw involving our favorite alcohol addled Amazon. I know that she made her debut that month, though I can't recall if this would be her first appearance or another early angle. Regardless, it'll be fun to once again see just how huge her jaw was before she had it cut down courtesy of plastic surgery.

Original ECW Invasion – February 24, 1997

It'll be interesting to see just how much of this makes the DVD. There was a speech by Paul Heyman to open the show, and I'd assume that will definitely be included. However, because a large chunk of the WWF roster was on an international tour, there were also three ECW matches on this particular episode of Raw. Stevie Richards took on Little Guido, Taz killed Mikey Whipwreck, and Tommy Dreamer defeated D-Von Dudley. I never would have guessed that, ten and a half years later, two thirds of those men would be employed by WWE.

Owen Hart vs. British Bulldog WWE European Championship Match – March 3, 1997

This would be the finals of the tournament to crown the first European Champion, and it would also be an epic contest. I dare anybody who claims that Owen Hart is remembered as better than he actually was due to his tragic death to watch this match and continue making that claim.

Bret Speaks His Mind – March 17, 1997

This was the beginning of the Bret Hart heel turn that was in full swing by the middle of '97, with Bret losing the WWF Title to Sid in a cage match the night after he won it and then unleashing a veritable tirade on the microphone, lacing in to Vince McMahon and using some naughty words that you NEVER heard on WWF television during that period. It was another situation in which the company managed to successfully blur the line between "work" and "shoot," and it is well remembered for that fact.

Flag Match – United States vs. Canada – July 21, 1997

Though the "Canada vs. USA" storyline was red hot, I have virtually no memory of this match, which pitted Bret Hart, Owen Hart, and the British Bulldog against Steve Austin, Dude Love, and the Undertaker.

Stone Cold Stuns the Boss – September 22, 1997

. . . the first of many. The delivery of the stunner here was actually fairly weak, but the reaction from the crowd is insane and that, combined with the build, makes it a must-include moment for any Raw retrospective.

Bret Screwed Bret – November 17, 1997

This is, of course, is the sitdown interview with Vince McMahon that took place on the Raw after the 1997 Survivor Series. I recently heard that, at the time this interview was done, there were plans to make Vince McMahon in to an on screen character but that he was actually going to be a face instead of the mega-heel he ultimately became. It should be interesting to re-watch the interview in that context.

Sable in a Sack – December 8, 1997

Sable has an abusive boyfriend. It's Johnny B. Badd. Johnny B. Badd makes her wear a potato sack. She does. She takes it off. She's wearing a bikini. This will probably thrill the three of you who have never seen a half-naked woman before.

Gold Meets Water – December 15, 1997

Oh yes. This is the excellent angle in which Steven Austin hijacked the Rock's Intercontinental Title belt and threw it off of a bridge in to a river below. Austin was clearly on his way to becoming a legend at this point, and, though the Rock was not nearly the performer he would later become, he was beginning to show flashes of brilliance.

Christmas with DX – December 22, 1997

Of all the amusing skits that the original DX did, I have literally no memory of this. You did have to include the early days of Michaels and HHH as a unit somewhere, though.

And that's it for the first disc of the set, which covers 1993 to 1997. I'll preview disc number two next week, which features the Attitude Era coming on hard and fast!

Developmental Titles Change Hands

Though they may not have the prestige of the Raw or Smackdown Titles (or even the ECW Tile), the major championships in WWE's two developmental leagues can be seen as major accomplishments in the careers of young wrestlers, because winning one of the straps means that the bookers of the promotions see something in you. If those bookers see something in you, that means WWE brass higher on the totem pole probably will too, and that can only mean one thing: Job security. Because of this, I'm glad to report that both the Florida Championship Wrestling Southern Title and the Ohio Valley Wrestling Heavyweight Title have changed hands within the past eight days.

Down in FCW, T.J. Wilson defeated Afa Anoa'i, Jr. for the Southern Title in a ladder match on December 1. Wilson is a long-time friend of the younger members of the Hart family, particularly Harry "D.H." Smith and Nattie Neidhart (to whom he has been romantically linked). As a wrestler who trained with several of Bret Hart's brothers in Calgary, Alberta, Wilson was periodically rumored to be a part of a "new" Hart Foundation on either Monday Night Raw or Smackdown alongside Smith, Neidhart, and Teddy Hart. However, with Hart having been fired by the company and with Smith having already debuted as a solo act on Monday Night Raw, the chances of that angle coming to fruition seem slim. Wilson does remain part of WWE's developmental program, however, and will have his first major title defense on Tuesday night in New Port Richey, Florida against Ted DiBiase, Jr.

Meanwhile, on the Ohio Valley Wrestling TV tapings which were held on December 5, OVW Champion Mike Kruel was defeated by newcomer Matt Sydal for the title. Sydal was a long-time member of the Ring of Honor roster before signing a developmental deal, initially rising to prominence in the Generation Next stable and then turning himself heel and forming an alliance with "super agent" Larry Sweeney. Sydal was also a part of the short-lived Wrestling Society X earlier this year, wrestling the first match in the promotion's history against Jack Evans.

All of us here at 411 would like to wish the two men the best of luck in their continued journey through the developmental process.

The Word from Dixieland

Brooks Takes a Dive

Here's an interesting story to come out of Figure Four Weekly. Those of you who saw TNA's recent Genesis pay per view may recall that, during the Samoa Joe vs. Bobby Roode match, Roode's valet Traci Brooks suddenly hit the floor. This didn't appear to be part of the match's storyline, because there were no good camera shots of it and the announcers almost completely ignored the situation. The story that came out after the pay per view was that Brooks was suffering from heat exhaustion and collapsed but was fine immediately after she was taken to the back.

Well, apparently, the heat exhaustion story was bogus. Figure Four is reporting that there was in fact a pre-show conversation between Brooks and TNA writing crew member Vince Russo in which Russo told Brooks to "pass out" and to not tell anybody that they had planned it. Brooks supposedly went along with the plan because she feared for her job security if she did not. If this story is true, it ranks among the most ridiculous booking ideas I have ever heard. I understand that wrestling fans these days are so jaded that it's difficult to get them to believe your angles are legitimate. However, if you're going to do something in which you go out of your way to put one over on both the fans and the locker room, shouldn't you do something that actually MATTERS? Seriously, what does Traci Brooks collapsing during a pay per view actually accomplish, especially when the wrestlers, the commentators, and the production team that were involved in the match do absolutely nothing to put it over? It's not as though this is the beginning of some grand angle. If it were, there should have been some follow up on television by now, as we're several weeks removed from the Genesis pay per view. This reeks of Russo doing a "worked shoot" just because he has some sort of bizarre fetish for them, not because he wants to turn it in to something that will actually make money for the wrestlers or for the company. Why the hell he would focus on doing something like this as opposed to writing a storyline that might actually propel the promotion beyond its perpetual 1.1 television rating or compel more than 25,000 people to buy TNA's pay per views is beyond me. This is exactly what is wrong with TNA: Its creative direction is being controlled in part by a man who cares more about "shock value" than he does generating revenue.

The funny thing is that, after all of this B.S., TNA went out and did another "worked shoot" on its most recent pay per view, Turning Point. Samoa Joe supposedly "departed from the script" and unleashed a barrage of negative comments about Kevin Nash and Scott Hall that he was supposed to keep under his hat. There were also supposedly words exchanged between Nash and Joe backstage. I'm not surprised by the Joe/Nash confrontation. What actually surprises me is that, in the year 2007 in a promotion booked by Vince Russo, there were actually fans and wrestlers who did not even take a second to consider that the whole thing might be a setup. There are some people out there who refuse to look at history and learn from it. Hopefully the story involving Traci Brooks will remind individuals of the sort of tomfoolery that goes on in a Russo controlled promotion and will allow them to look critically at things that appear to good too be true, like Samoa Joe "shooting" on the old timers. Here's an easy rule of thumb you can use to begin that critical analysis: If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

Suicidal, Homicidal, and Looking for Work

According to Dave Meltzer over at the Wrestling Observer, TNA recently had plans to bring in Sabu for its television tapings on November 12 and 13 as well as its Turning Point pay per view. The idea was for Sabu to come in and team with Abyss, with the two taking on Dustin "Black Reign" Rhodes and Johnny "Rellik" Stamboli in a feud culminating in a thumbtack match at the PPV. However, when Sabu missed a flight that prevented him from making the 11/12 show, he was written out of the angle and replaced with Rhino. Word is that there is still a storyline that the company dreamed up for Sabu to take part in after Turning Point, though it's not entirely clear whether they still want him to do it.

Much like the prior story, this is another bit of news that highlights one of the man things that is wrong with TNA. I'm not one of these guys who sits back and bellyaches that TNA is using too many "WWE rejects" instead of its "loyal homegrown talent," but the fact of the matter is that, at this point, the promotion has too many wrestlers on its roster. When TNA was attempting to get a second hour of television time, one of the big arguments that they kept making in favor of the expansion was that they had a roster so large that they needed two hours to showcase it. Now that they actually have two hours, are they showcasing the roster that they had prior to the expansion? NO! They're continuing to bring in new wrestlers, and men who were promised an increased role prior to the expansion are repeatedly being lost in the shuffle. I'm not the biggest Rhino fan in the world, but I think it's readily apparent to most fans of the sport that, in the year 2007, he brings far more to the table than Sabu does in terms of both athleticism and popularity with TNA crowds. But, instead of using him, the promotion would rather pull a guy like Sabu off of the shelf, pay him god knows how much money (while they're also still paying Rhino), and stick him in a program that will not increase their television ratings or pay per view buyrates one iota.

This may be the most frustrating wrestling promotion in history.

Random Video Interlude

This week's video highlights a feud that will be blown off TONIGHT in State College, Pennsylvania for CHIKARA. Watch the saga of Chris Hero and Claudio Castagnoli, from their tag title win in February of 2006 all the way up to their huge falling out. They're wrestling on tonight's season-ending CHIKARA show, and admission is absolutely free. For location and time information, check out CHIKARAPro.com.



To view videos that have appeared in previous editions of the Custom Made News Report, be sure to check out my new YouTube page.

2007 Holiday Shopping Guide

Two years ago, I was writing a column on 411 called Cheap Wrestling for Cheap People. As a part of that column, I put together a holiday shopping guide for wrestling fans, putting together gift packages related to different styles of wrestling that contained three gifts which, in total, would cost under $30 (U.S.) Since it's been a couple of years, I've decided to revive the idea here in the Custom Made News Report. Thus, from November 25 through December 23, you'll be able to find five new cheap gift packages for five different genres of wrestling.

This Week: Gifts for Lucha Libre Fans

The 2005 Package Contained . . .

- Micro Icon Wrestling Figures for $1.88 (no longer available)
- Lucha Pendants for $9.99 (still available here)
- Desperados del Ring Volume 1 for $8.96 (no longer available from original retailer)

Item #1: Rey Misterio Zipper Pull
Cost: $3.00
Available At: WWE Shopzone

Hey, I'm not above plugging the E's stuff. Have you ever been in a situation in which you want to show off some fine jewelry, only to be thwarted by the fact that it's mid-January and you're wearing seven layers of clothing and a parka? Well, fret no more. With WWE's Rey Misterio zipper pull, which is made out of the finest nickel, you can show support for one of the world's most successful luchadores without compromising your protection against the element. Plus, at only $3, it's pretty much the only thing that I could find that wouldn't put me over my self-imposed $30 limit with the other two items, which are . . .

Item #2: Los Luchadores Enmascarados Volume 2 DVD
Cost: $6.99
Available At: Overstock.com

An aspect of lucha libre history and culture that not many Americans are aware of are the cheap, b-level films throughout history that have starred some of Mexican wrestling's greatest. These movies really took off when El Santo starred in a series of them, but they certainly didn't stop with his death. Top-level luchadores Blue Demon, Mil Mascaras, and Tineblas star in two films on this disc, 1971's Los Campeones Justicieros and 1972's Vuelven los Campeons Justicierso.

Item #3: Mondo Lucha a Go-Go: The Bizarre & Honorable World of Lucha Libre Book
Cost: $16.47
Available At: Amazon

Both lucha libre novices and seasoned fans alike should enjoy this book by Dan Madigan (who, oddly enough, also wrote the novelization of the WWE film See No Evil). In addition to stories and quotes about how the sport has become such an integral part of Mexican culture, the multi-colored volume provides several reproductions of photographs and promotional materials from throughout lucha's history. It's the perfect combination of text and image, and together the two media paint a rich picture of what wrestling south of the border truly is.

Foreign Fanatics

Kenta Kobashi Comes Home

On December 2, an incredibly memorable moment in wrestling history took place. Though it took place in Japan, I and many others stateside have already seen it, and I have to say that it was one of my proudest moments ever as a fan of the sport. Kenta Kobashi, legendary Japanese wrestler who was diagnosed with kidney cancer in June of last year, made his return to the ring one week ago today. The fact that the man was declared cancer free was incredible in and of itself. The fact that he was declared cancer free AND got back in to fighting shape AND was capable of putting on a hell of a professional wrestling match in Tokyo's Nippon Budokan before a rabid crowd of 17,000 spectators was nothing short of a miracle.


Kenta Kobashi, proving he's more of a man than you'll ever be.

Kobashi entered the ring to thunderous applause and disrobed, immediately shocking fans with an amazing physique for an individual who was on death's door not two years ago. He and tag team partner Yoshihiro Takayama were scheduled to take on the duo of Jun Akiyama and long-time Kobashi rival and current GHC Heavyweight Champion Mitushara Misawa. From a technical standpoint, there have been better matches, but this was still an encounter that most anybody wold classify as being slightly above the **** mark. Kobashi obviously received strong reactions throughout, and, in the eyes of the crowd, Misawa became the biggest heel on earth just for looking at Kobashi the wrong way. Given that fact, you can imagine the reaction when Misawa not only began unleashing offensive moves on his foe but also began targeting his kidneys with forearms. Kobashi was not easily defeated, though, as he battled back against Misawa and, along with help from Takayama, extended the match almost to the thirty minute mark. The highlight of the match for me was when Kobashi – who not only is coming back from cancer but has knees that are in absolutely dreadful condition – came off the ropes with a massive moonsault, proving that he was not just returning for the sake of returning. He was returning to fight like he had always fought before. When the match came to a close, both fans and the announce team (which including Kobashi's close friend Tamon Honda) were in tears. It was a display of raw, legitimate happiness in a sport in which we as fans are far too often bombarded with the details of competitors' sleazy personal lives or hit over the head with tales of early death. It was something to truly enjoy in this crazy, mixed up world of professional wrestling.

In the end, Kobashi was actually pinned by a second rope version of Misawa's Emerald Frosion. However, this sort of booking is typical in Japan, where individuals returning from injuries are usually not successful in early bouts, as they're still healing and shaking off ring rust. As such, many believe that we will eventually see Misawa vs. Kobashi one more time for Misawa's GHC Title, which may be the only match capable of rivaling this one in the department of sheer drama.

Todo X Todos is a Go Gos

Later tonight, what is a fairly large independent show from a name value standpoint will be taking place in Naucalpan. Whether it can be considered a fairly large independent show from an attendance standpoint remains to be seen. The show is called "Todo x Todos," and it is being promoted by the legendary El Hijo del Santo, who had a falling out with his former employers CMLL not too long ago. Santo originally planned for this show to be headlined by himself vs. LA Park (the original La Parka) in a mask vs. mask match, but Park put the ixnay on that one pretty quickly. The next plan was a tournament in which the losers advance with the final two men facing each other in a mask vs. mask, hair vs. mask, or hair vs. hair match. There has been yet another change, and now the program will feature a tag team tournament, again with the losers advancing. The team that loses in the finals will then face each other with their masks on the line. Constant card shuffling like that is never a good sign when it comes to the success of these shows.

Anyway, there are obviously several teams billed as appearing, and there are some rather important names on those teams. Santo himself will be teaming up with Blue Demon Jr. who American fans have probably seen standing around local convenient stores holding cans of Coca Cola's Full Throttle energy drink. The original Mascara Sagrada will be teaming with the son of the legendary Fishman. Journeyman wrestler Super Muneco pairs up with fifteen year veteran Pentagon Black. El Hijo del Cien Caras and Rayo de Jalisco Jr. comprise a second generation team. The original Dos Caras and Tinieblas Sr. will work together to form a team with a combined age of 124. Mil Mascaras and Fantasma enter a team that's not much younger. Lizmark Sr. & Solar I will attempt to prevent the older Lizmark from suffering the same fate that recently befell his son. El Hijo del Solitario & Anibal Jr. round out the brackets.

I'm not the most ardent follower of lucha libre, but I have a hard time looking at this lineup and figuring out exactly who will be unmasking. There are some individuals who obviously will not do the job. Santo is out because he, like his father, will no doubt retire with the silver mask in tact. (And, even if he does not for some reason, he's smart enough to drop it in a mask vs. mask match that will be advertised for months ahead of time, which will make millions.) Blue Demon has too much money coming in from his deal with Coke to risk destroying his image. Caras, Tinieblas, and Mascaras are all around sixty years of age and have lost their masks yet, so there's no point in them doing it now. I'd imagine that the ultimate loser will be somebody who is getting on in years and ready to wind down his career but has not reached the legendary status that would make a traditional one-on-one mask match highly profitable.

Bugging Out

Some outright wacky gimmicks are put on wrestlers in Japan, and I usually like to point out some of the crazier ones in this section of the column. We got just such a gimmick on the December 2 show of El Dorado, a promotion that, much like Dragon Gate, is tied to the Ultimo Dragon's Dragon Gym training center.

The show featured the El Dorado debut of Takeshi Minamino, a twenty-one year old who graduated from the Dragon Gym in 2002 and has since been competing primarily in Michinoku Pro Wrestling. He is now known as "Beetle Takeshi," with the gimmick being that he either really enjoys bugs or is a bug himself. He was successful in his first match in the promotion, teaming with Hercules Osenga to defeat Brahman Shu and Brahman Kei. Takeshi pinned Kei with the "Mushi Valley Bomb," a move that involves putting the opposition through what was described as a "one thousand insect board." Normally I wouldn't be able to figure out what a "one thousand insect board" is, but the show results compared it to other boards that we've seen in wrestling . . . namely boards covered with barbed wire and thumbtacks. So, yes, this means that Takeshi Minamino won his first match in his new promotion by slamming his opponent through a board covered in BEETLES. Eat your heart out, Boogeyman.

Following Up

Here are a couple of small updates to stories that I have discussed in previous editions of the report:

~ Last week, I commented on some speculation by PW Insider that WWE was funneling its developmental talent out of OVW and in to new territory FCW. It's worth noting that, on Sunday night's edition of the Wrestling Observer Live radio show, host Bryan Alvarez (of Figure Four Weekly) was asked about that situation by a caller and stated that he had heard nothing about plans to phase out Ohio Valley.

~ I wasn't aware of this when I discussed the NWA Welterweight Title victory of Mexican wrestler La Sombra last week, but apparently the win makes him the youngest wrestler in history to win one of the NWA's titles. He's eighteen years old.

Feeding Back & Wrapping Up

Before we head out the door, I'll answer a couple of reader e-mails that popped up. This week, everybody seemed to want to discuss "The Great WWE Countdown" the five week feature that I wrapped up in last week's report in which I counted down my favorite current wrestlers in WWE.

We'll start off with one frequently asked question, which in this e-mail is posed by Bobby of the 411 Fan Forums:

Just read your column. Really enjoyed the rank the WWE wrestlers list and think for the most part you were spot on. Except Taker and Cena. Those two should be switched.

Anyway great job. Love the news report.

Are you going to do a TNA edition?

The thought of doing a TNA edition of the countdown has certainly crossed my mind, but, if it happens, it's not going to be for a while. There are several reasons for this, with the biggest being that the WWE Countdown took far more time than I thought it would when I initially conceived it. I've got a ton of year end work for 411 Wrestling over the course of the next month, which combined with more DVD reviews than ever in the Movie Zone and my personal life, will make counting down the TNA stars impractical until at least February.

More detailed thoughts on the list come to us from Justin B.. The e-mail is a little longer, so I'm responding to it on a paragraph-by-paragraph basis, with Justin's comments in italics and my responses in regular text:

I waited until you completed your list to give my feedback. I'm a mark for lists and always find them interesting, even when I don't agree with them. Well I agreed with yours more then I usually do when reading such lists. When you started the column I thought it was a good idea and tried coming up with my own best WWE workers list, but I didn't get very far. IMO their really isn't too big a difference between say the #25 WWE worker and the #55 guy. I applaud your efforts in rating all the superstars though. I couldn't have done it. I have a few comments.

Go right ahead.

I was happy to see Cena, Undertaker, Umaga, Triple H, and Orton all ranked in the top ten. For whatever reason the internet tends to shit on all of those wrestlers to an extent, despite the fact that they've all had some excellent matches this year. You rated them about where I would have. I'm sure some readers are foaming at the mouth though.

Michaels at #1 is the right choice.

If anybody was foaming at the mouth, I didn't hear about it. Believe it or not, every piece of e-mail that I got in regards to my positioning of Cena, Triple H, and the Undertaker was positive. I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that I made sure to note before every edition of the countdown that, at the end of the day, these were merely my opinions and not something that I was trying to pass off as the gospel.

I felt like Matt Hardy was rated a bit too low. Following in the Smackdown tradition established by Angle, Benoit, and Eddie, he went out and had the TV match of the week just about every single week for about a four month period. I don't see how he's not in the top ten.

Matt Hardy consistently has good matches, but I don't see him consistently having good matches at the main event level. It's one thing to go out there and have a great midcard match, which Matt does more times than not. However, it's another thing entirely to go out there and have a great match that fans buy in to as a main event. I can't recall having seen him do that too often in a singles environment, whereas somebody like his brother Jeff has managed to pull it off whenever he's been given the opportunity.

While I do think Kennedy is overrated to an extend, I don't see how you rated him at #53. He had some excellent singles matches with both Hardy Boyz and Rey Mysterio, was involved in a couple of good tags, and dragged something decent out of Batista when Big Dave was going through his downright awful phase. I think he should be in the top twenty-five.

Ken Kennedy has had good matches with Rey Misterio and the Hardy Boys, but those matches were good because they were against Rey Misterio and the Hardy Boys, three of the best performers in wrestling today. They were good in spite of Ken Kennedy and not because of him. I think my general disdain for Kennedy's wrestling (not his personality . . . that was described in depth at the beginning of the column) comes from the fact that I see him doing numerous little things wrong in the ring. They're not necessarily little things that throw off the entire flow of a match, but they're little things that can and more than likely will see somebody get seriously hurt during one of his matches. For example, I can recall a recent tag team match against the Hardy Boys that saw him grab Matt and throw him as hard as humanly possible out of the ring. Hardy nearly lost his balance and fell on his head on the arena floor. It's almost as though Kennedy doesn't realize that wrestling is fake. He could have just as easily placed his hands on Matt and allowed Matt to throw himself out of the ring, as happens in numerous matches. However, Kennedy for some reason decided that he needed to actually FLING Matt, and the result was a very dangerous situation. He's also repeatedly out of position for moves like Swantons, which has resulted in him being crushed under the weight of men coming off of the top rope. I know that there are a lot of fans who don't necessarily pick up on subtleties like this, and there's nothing wrong with that. I do pick up on them, though, and it makes Kennedy matches difficult for me to watch.

Oh, and when it comes to Kennedy vs. Batista, I assume that you're talking about their match at the Royal Rumble this year. Maybe it's just me, but I thought everything good in that encounter came out of Batista, as his selling made what would otherwise be a dreadful match passable.

Henry and Big Daddy V are too high. I can't stand either guy and would have rated them just above Snitsky. In nearly two decades between them, I can count the combined number of enjoyable matches they've had on one hand.

Henry and Viscera aren't guys who have consistently good matches, but they're guys you can at least count on to not screw anything up in longer bouts. I don't think you can say nearly as much for the majority of the men who were below them.

I think Finlay, Regal, and Taylor are WAY too high, but they're way too high on every one of these lists that I read. 70s style wrestling just isn't for me I guess. Finlay MIGHT make my top twenty, but Regal & Taylor would be on the bottom half of my list if I was able to complete one. If I may ask, can you name three good Regal singles matches in the past seven years that didn't involve Benoit? I know I can't. And Taylor always struck me as just a poor man's Regal.

Sure I can. I'll go with Regal's Wrestelmania XVII and XVIII matches (against Chris Jericho and Rob Van Dam), his Backlash 2001 match against Jericho, and his Great American Bash 2006 match against Finlay. That's four, and that's four I was able to come up after only digging in to the pay per view archives, ignoring results on free television. I'm also confused by the claim of Taylor being the poor man's Regal given that Regal started wrestling after Taylor, but I'll let that one pass.

Val Venis at #15 warmed my heart though. Val is one of the most solid guys on the roster.

Agreed wholeheartedly. I don't think that he's somebody who should be higher on the card than he is, but he's very skilled.

And for shits and giggles here's my top fifteen....

1. Shawn Michaels
2. John Cena
3. Edge
4. Triple H
5. Undertaker
6. Matt Hardy
7. Rey Mysterio
8. Randy Orton
9. Umaga
10. Jeff Hardy
11. MVP
12. Ric Flair
13. Val Venis
14. John Morrison
15. CM Punk

I can certainly see an argument for ordering the list in that manner.

Now, because I love you fine readers so much, I'm not just going to answer your e-mails. I'm also going to provide you with some additional reading material. I'm a real giver, aren't I?

~ My contribution to the movie zone this week was designed to help us all get in to the spirit of the Christmas season, as I took a look at the new Santa Clause 3 DVD.

~ In wrestling-related writings, check out my 411mania blog to view some of the feedback that I got to my recent series of articles on SHIMMER.

~ But SHIMMER's not the only indy I'm profiling this week! CHIKARA released the third installment in its "pod per view" series, and I've got a review right here.

~ And, because I like to balance out every fun show I watch with a horrible show, I reviewed TNA Impact. Apparently my review was so moving this week that a reader decided to use 411mania's new comment feature to tell me about his "sick duck." We should take up a collection for this young man and his under the weather fowl.

~ Also, for those of you who had me as a friend on MySpace, I had some technical difficulties last week that required the creation of a new profile. If you're interested in getting a bulletin notification every time I post a new column here on 411 (which, as you can see above, happens rather frequently), add me as a friend.

And that's a wrap for this week. I hope that everybody enjoys the big Raw tomorrow and that you'll rejoin me in seven short days.