The Thursday Small-For-All News Report 12.13.07
Posted by Jeff Small on 12.13.2007
Still Riding a Raw XV High!
For those of you who were not down with this past Monday's show, I have two words for ya… Pete Gas!!!
Wait for it…
Wait for it…
Keep waiting….
Yes, yes….
WHAMMY!!!!!!!
Welcome back to your favorite Thursday news report, the Small-For-All. As my teaser indicates, I'm still not over the vast enjoyment from seeing Bastion Booger, Sunny, and the Goon on my television screen. And if you think I'm being overly generous, wait until you see the fellatio I perform on the show in this week's Fact or Fiction! Throw in the fact that I'm currently watching "Snakes on a Plane" and this week's edition will be quite upbeat. So much so that I'd expect plenty of negative comments from y'all below.
Speaking of negative comments, did any of you see his anti-Small comments in his news report last week? Just because Meehan has to write fake reader emails each week to beef up his news report (if you don't believe me, check out the immaculate grammar of his readers), doesn't mean he should attack me personally. It's bad enough he rides my coattails like an episode of Veronica's Closet.
And with that, it's on with the show!
NEWZ FROM TITAN TOWERZ
Let's first discuss the aftermath from Raw 15!
Was It Just Me…
Or did something not seem right about Mick Foley's appearance on Raw XV? Perhaps, it wasn't Mick Foley at all?
Even though Foley has appeared countless times on Raw over the last few years, he still warrants more than a brief cameo on the show. In fact, on Monday's show, he did not even get a chance to say a word. He came out, applied Mr. Socko, and left all within 2 minutes. Hell, the Undertaker's entrance took up way more time than that! That first sparked my Spidersense.
Furthermore, was it just me or did Foley's hair look really fucking good? So good that it seemed unFoleylike. I mean, Mick Foley is a hardcore legend not a hardcore porn legend.
So yes something seemed really off about Foley's cameo on the show. So much that I believe Mick Foley was NOT at Raw XV. Instead Mankind was played by Dennis "Mideon" Knight, best known for his Mankind impersonation in 2000! And if you think I'm full of shit, PROVE ME WRONG!
(By the way, there's no source for this speculation. But if I wrote for WWE316.com, I would totally be the fuckin' newsmaster!)
Ho's Gone Wild
According to the main page, "After RAW ended last night on TV, the entire crew came out to the ring for the beer bash. Everyone seemingly broke character and drank beer. Maria and Lillian got drenched in beer and a few of Godfather's hos flashed their breasts to the audience."
From other live reports, it seemed as both Randy Orton and Umaga were the instigators in getting the ho's to flash the crowd. You would think that either wrestler would be given a stern talking to considering that much of the wrestling audience is comprised of young children. However, that would not be the case… Someone as disciplined after the show, but it's definitely not who you think!
According to Figure 4 Weekly, "Dave Kapoor, the creative team member who plays the translator for Great Khali, got screamed at Monday night. Even though everyone in the final segment on Raw pretty much broke kayfabe, apparently Stephanie felt Kapoor was having too much fun. As everybody was getting their stuff after the show she called him over and told him that it was very unprofessional, and intimated that if he didn't take "the job of a lifetime" seriously that might be it for him.
She said someone on creative shouldn't be an on-screen character and she'd gone to bat for him, so he better not screw it up. He's only been watching WWE since 2003, so I can understand him doing something like that and not even thinking about it, particularly in a segment like the Austin beer bash where everyone was just having a good time."
Poor Kapoor! Seriously I don't remember what he did to "break kayfabe" but considering that none of the wrestlers tried to attack their foe during the beer bash, I think we already knew that kayfabe was dead. Seriously, outside of CM Punk drinking a Pepsi during the celebration, all remaining traces of kayfabe were thrown out of the window.
By the way, if one of my Smallophiles knows the origin of the word "kayfabe" please let me know.
Jingle Bell Suck
For those curious, Jillian Hall's Christmas Album is indeed on iTunes. A measly $4.95 will net you her entire album entitled A Jingle With Jillian.
Unfortunately, "The 12 Days of Christmas" did not make the final album cut. However, the five songs on here are quite spectacular! A must buy for any fans of the WWE Originals album!!!
No Way Out From Here
A few weeks back in the Small-For-All I spoke about the possibility of the Elimination Chamber at No Way Out. Well it looks like the Elimination Chamber is back and it's badder than ever! According to local ads, "The last six guys that got eliminated will now be involved in an Elimination Chamber match at No Way Out. The winner of that match will be able to choose between the two champions that weren't selected by the Rumble winner."
I must say that this stipulation is quite interesting. Not only does this give people with a later selection a much greater chance at winning a championship but it allows certain wild cards to be in the No Way Out main event! In the past, there have always been one or two people that make it to the final four that really don't belong. In years past, there was no harm with this. Not anymore! And to prove my point, let's take a look back at the last seven years of possible No Way Out main events!
2000: Al Snow vs. Road Dogg vs. Billy Gunn vs. Kane vs. X-Pac vs. the Big Show 2001: Haku vs. Undertaker vs. Rikishi vs. Billy Gunn vs. Rock vs. Kane 2002: Kane vs. RVD vs. Booker T vs. Steve Austin vs. Mr. Perfect vs. Kurt Angle 2003: Maven vs. A-Train vs. RVD vs. Batista vs. Kane vs. Undertaker 2004: Goldberg vs. John Cena vs. RVD vs. Chris Jericho vs. Kurt Angle vs. Big Show 2005: Christian vs. Chris Benoit vs. Ric Flair vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Edge vs. John Cena 2006: Shelton Benjamin vs. HBK vs. Carlito vs. RVD vs. HHH vs. Randy Orton 2007: Chavo vs. Great Khali vs. MVP vs. Edge vs. Orton vs. HBK
Looking back at the last seven years, an Elimination Chamber in 2004 would have been amazing! Heck, even last year would have been a spectacle mainly to see the Great Khali in a Chamber cell! Really, the only year that might have not produced a good match would have been in 2003 since it would be totally hoss-riffic!!!
Quick N Dirty News
From all the usual sources:
Former Extreme Expose member Brooke is set to do Playboy.
If I weren't so disappointed in every Diva's Playboy edition since the second Sable magazine, I would say this is a must buy. Sure Brooke has a beautiful fatty, but who knows how it will translate over to the airbrushed pages of Playboy.
Reid Flair has signed a Developmental Deal with the WWE
Here's hoping he has way more talent than David!
Conflicting Armaggedon Spoilers: Live Reports have Randy Orton taking on Jeff Hardy in upcoming main events while the Wrestling Observer states that Triple H is to win this Sunday's match before defeating Orton at the Royal Rumble. It goes on to state that Wrestlemania 24 will feature a rematch between HHH and Batista.
As stated last week, Jeff Hardy winning this Sunday's match makes a hell of a lot more sense than Triple H. That and I really doubt HHH/Batista will main event another Wrestlemania!
Where was Jake Roberts during Raw XV? In rehab!!!
They tried to make him go to rehab…
NEWS FROM O-TOWN
ROH vs. TNA
According the main page, "ROH will be holding a show in Deer Park, Long Island on 2/22/08. That is 15 miles away from TNA's show in Westbury, Long Island on the same day. As reported earlier, TNA and ROH will also be holding shows in Dayton, OH on 1/25/08."
Oh man, this is bigger than TNA vs. ROH! Yeah right. With TNA snubbing ROH last year by not allowing their contracted wrestlers to appear on ROH shows, there's not much that needs to be said about these "scheduling conflicts." While certain ROHbots believe that it is foolish for TNA to schedule shows at the same time as ROH, it's really not. ROH, at this moment, is nothing more than a niche promotion for those that like wrestling. TNA, at this moment, is nothing more than the WWE-OLD. There's enough of a difference here that both shows should be able to co-exist. Hell, how will TNA actually compete with the WWE when they are afraid to run shows against a lesser brand?
Quick N Dirty News
News coming out of PWTorch indicate that "At this week's TNA Impact taping, Karen Angle legitimately injured her ankle. Backstage she was in tremendous pain to the point of being in tears. She was taken to the hospital for X-rays."
Karen needs to stop her bitching. I mean Kurt won a Gold Medal with a freakin' broken neck!!!
Amazing Kong was approached by the WWE before signing with TNA. The reason she went with TNA was because they offered something concrete first.
I think Kong made the right choice here. In the WWE, she would be nothing more than a female Jazz.
Ron Killings is done with TNA and would like to go back to his original stomping grounds
And by stomping grounds, one would assume he is talking about the WWE. Or Africa!
COMING ATTRACTIONS
Well kids, Larry's already pissed at me for being late so I'm going to wrap things up here. This coming Sunday is Armageddon and without a doubt, on paper it has the makings of a very good show. If anyone knows of a fun sports bar in Epping, NH where I could watch it, I would gladly appreciate it.
That said, next week, expect a substitute news reporter. There's a holiday party at work and suffice to say, I don't think I could survive another drunken news report. So fellow readers… Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, or Happy Kwanzaa depending on your cup of tea. And if you are a Scientologist, find a real religion please!
For the Thursday Small-For-All News Report, I'm Jeff Small… and you're not!!!
smalls, kayfabe comes from the the old days when the room designated for opponents going over their matches was labeled Kay Fabian. I believe I read that on 411.
Posted By: clif (Guest) on December 13, 2007 at 02:30 AM
It's Pig Latin for "fake."
Posted By: K (Guest) on December 13, 2007 at 04:10 AM
africa lol
Posted By: Guest#2422 (Guest) on December 13, 2007 at 04:16 AM
Prove you wrong on that not being Mick Foley? Easy. Go to WWE.com and check out the pre-raw backstage photos, as he is in at least 1
Posted By: Lynx Raven Raide (Guest) on December 13, 2007 at 04:23 AM
In regards to the Foley thing: I thought it may be an impostor as well, but i also coulda sworn they showed Mick with the mask up revealing his face.
Posted By: Hickey (Guest) on December 13, 2007 at 05:21 AM
Yeah, as we has heading back up the ramp he took the mask off.
Posted By: ElTiburon (Guest) on December 13, 2007 at 07:21 AM
The video after Raw also proves it's Foley, because 1) it looks like him even behind the mask, 2) he speaks and it's obviously him, and 3) his son Michael is with him. I doubt he's going to loan his kid out to Mideon, especially in the same year as the Benoit thing (not that they're related).
Having said that, I don't think Jeff was actually sincere in his theory.
Posted By: T.G. Corke (Registered) on December 13, 2007 at 07:31 AM
Also, 'kayfabe' originated from catch wrestling carnival shows. The logistics of the word itself have already been sourced - it likely stems from pig latin.
Posted By: T.G. Corke (Registered) on December 13, 2007 at 07:35 AM
yep, it's foley alright. Check out the 'RAW after the bell' video clip on youtube. It has Trish, Dusty, Dibiase, Backlund and Santino in it and in the end Mankind comes in and speaksIt's definatley Mick
Posted By: Guest#6629 (Guest) on December 13, 2007 at 08:17 AM
Since when was CM Punk drinking a Pepsi an attribute of kayfabe, as opposed to him being straight edge in real life? I know that this is pedantic, but that's me.
Posted By: Pete (Guest) on December 13, 2007 at 09:45 AM
Yes,that was the real Mick Foley.
And kayfabe is carney speak for "Be fake."
The real question is, who was playing Doink? It looked a little like the original, Matt Bourne. He rules!
Posted By: Guest (Guest) on December 13, 2007 at 09:46 AM
"pedantic" - good word.
Thanks to all for the feedback especially on the real Mankind. While I don't actually believe it's Mideon, I still find it peculiar how little Foley was on the show.
Posted By: Jeff Small (Registered) on December 13, 2007 at 11:14 AM
If you watch Tuesday's ECW, you will see a raw rebound with Foley's mask off. Don't worry, we thought it was a fake as well until then. I guess his hair was too short and he needed the wig.
Posted By: Kevin (Guest) on December 13, 2007 at 11:53 AM
What about this for Armageddon/Rumble?
HHH vs. Hardy: HHH wins after a hard-fought match, yada-yada. They have r-e-s-p-e-c-t for each other.
Orton keeps the belt against Jericho.
HHH vs. Orton at Rumble, HHH wins.
The whole time, they play up mutual respect between Hardy and Trips.
Hardy wins the Rumble. HHH congratulates him the next day on Raw, then Pedigrees him. Heel turn for HHH.
Then, Hardy beats him cleanly at Mania (yeah, right). He'd probably only be a 24-hour champ, but it'd still be pretty sweet.
Posted By: seth (Guest) on December 13, 2007 at 01:53 PM
I too was suspicious of the appearance of Foley. The mask/shirt/hair just didn't seem right. Then the person struggled desperatly to get to the ropes just to be able to stand up...yep that's foley.
Posted By: Matthew M (Guest) on December 13, 2007 at 05:30 PM
