The Top Ten 12.19.07: Moments of 2007

Posted by Julian Williams on 12.18.2007

In a year filled with tragedy and controversy, let's take a look at some of the moments that helped us get through it.

Yea, I know. I'm a neglectful columnist. I keep disappearing for weeks on end leaving all (3) of you readers waiting with baited breath. I apologize for the delay guys, but I was in the process of moving only to find out that I couldn't get my new place because of my girlfriend's dog. Damn dog, ruining everything. I don't think it's possible to get an apartment anywhere in New York if you have a dog unless you're a single Hispanic mother with 8 kids and the Landlord just says, "Fuck it." Jeez, that was pretty racist. Yet, so true. Welcome to the Top Ten boys and girls. This week we're going to take a look at The Top Ten Moments of 2007. Sure, 2K7 has been a pretty crappy year to be a wrestling fan due to all the tragedy and controversy, but there were some bright spots that kept our faith in tact. Let's get into all this goodness, shall we?

Random Thoughts Of A Disturbed Wrestling Fan

-A lot of people have been crapping all over the news that JBL is returning to the ring and is set to feud with Chris Jericho. Why? JBL might not have been the best wrestler in the world, but he certainly wasn't the worst. In a world with The Great Khali, Mark Henry, Big Daddy V, and Snitsky, I'd take JBL over them any day of the week. And we all knew that they weren't going to give Y2J the title at this point, so I think this is a good feud for him to be in until he returns to the title hunt. You can't really complain because Jericho looked strong against Orton (would have defeated him if not for JBL) and he's now going to be going against JBL who is a former World Champion. It's not like he's feuding with Carlito or something. Just the promos between these two alone will be enough to make this feud hot (as seen on Raw) and I think that they'll be able to put on a pretty good match as well. Stop hating on the Wrestling………….GOD!!!

-You know this whole hoopla over steroids in baseball is really pissing me off. The Mitchell Report has been released and its naming names and everyone is whining about how this changes everything. Why? Let's face it, the vast majority of the players (batters and pitchers alike) were juiced up in the Long Ball Era. Look at players from the 70's and 80's and then compare them to players in the 90's and 2000's. There's no comparison, this generations players are jacked out of their mind. Everyone is talking about erasing Bonds' records and Clemens' records, but I think everything should stay in tact. Why? Because most of the pitchers that were throwing to Bonds were probably juiced up and most of the batters that Clemens threw to were probably on the ‘roids as well. I wouldn't be surprised if they discovered that more than 75% of MLB players were on the juice at some point in their careers. Nobody was complaining in the 90's when Sosa and McGuire were smacking homers left and right and ratings were through the roof, but now that the love affair with the long ball is ending, they want to put all these players under a microscope? That's hypocritical my friends. If anybody thought that guys like Sosa and McGuire and Canseco and Bonds weren't on ‘roids back then, they obviously need glasses because those guys went from being stick figures one year to being fucking mountains the next. Is taking steroids cheating? Of course it is. But if everyone is cheating, is it really cheating anymore? I think not.

-Kaz's ring jacket is the ugliest fucking thing I've ever seen. Please someone tell him to stop wearing it, it makes him look bush league.

-Edge + Vicky Guerrero kissing =



-The Batista/Kane match from Smackdown had to be like the 987th Last Man Standing match this year. Seriously, remember when the Last Man Standing match was a match used to settle a blood feud and would be seen once every two or three years? If the WWE keeps up with this, The Last Man Standing match is going to become just like the Cage Match and become unimportant due to overuse.

-I love WWE 24/7, but I can't stand the way that the censor things sometimes. For God sakes, it's their own damn channel, they can show whatever they want. Yet they constantly bleep cuss words, blur out middle fingers, and cover up man ass. Ok, I can deal with the No Man Ass rule.

-You know what's worse than Mike Tenay and Don West on commentary? Some Nascar goof joining them and yapping away with his annoying Southern drawl. For the love of Jesus Christmas, drop these idiots and put Cornette and Raven on commentary. Then I wouldn't have to watch TNA on Mute anymore.

The Top Ten Moments of 2007

Honorable Mention: TNA Impact gets two hours
Sure, this news would have meant a lot more a couple of years ago when TNA was actually, ya know, good. But nonetheless, this was still great news for TNA and all its fans as they had been waiting to get a second hour of TV ever since leaving the days of weekly PPV's. The second hour has helped out Impact greatly, in my opinion, as we no longer get 5 minute main events and their talent is actually given a chance to shine. While some of the idiotic booking and dumb decisions still exist, you're at least guaranteed one good-to-great match every week when watching Impact now that they've gone to two hours. And honestly, I'd rather see crappy booking and a great main event rather than crappy booking and a bunch of 2 minute matches.

10) Three Edges are better than one
This was so good, that I had to include it on this list at the last minute. Now some people hated this and some people loved it and I personally LOVED it. Edge has been touted as "The Ultimate Opportunist" and I believe this showcased that fully. Only a sneaky, devious mind like Edge could devise a plan to get two other look-a-likes fool and distract his opponents to help him regain the World Heavyweight Championship. Edge is a throwback to the old-school heels who had to use their intelligence to outwit their athletically superior opponents. Edge knew he wouldn't be able to beat Batista or The Undertaker by himself so he devised a plan to give him the best opportunity to regain the Title. Brilliant stuff and something that I don't recall ever seeing before which is impressive in this day and age when we've seen just about everything.

9) Punk FINALLY wins the ECW Title
When the feud between John Morrison and CM Punk began at Vengeance, Punk soon gained the reputation of being John Morrison's bitch. It seemed like no matter what he did, Punk could not defeat Morrision for the ECW Title. Morrison beat him at Vengeance, The Great American Bash, Summerslam and numerous times on TV. Finally, Punk was given the ultimatum that he either had to win the title or never get another ECW Title shot again. After that, Punk stepped up to the plate and had one hell of a match with Morrison and finally was able to nail Morrison with the GTS and capture the ECW Championship. It was one of the few bright spots for ECW in a year that has been tepid at best for them.

8) Triple H and Rey Mysterio return at Summerslam
For months, the WWE had been without two of its biggest superstars in Triple H and Rey Mysterio. So when both were set to return at Summerslam, a huge deal was made of it and rightfully so. Seeing Rey Mysterio return after sustaining such a serious knee injury and look like he never missed a step was refreshing. Hearing HHH's music and seeing him return to action was a great moment because no matter how much you hate him at times, you cant help but like the bastard. It's always great to see a wrestler return successfully after sustaining a major injury, but to see two of them return in the same night was a fantastic treat for us fans.

7) ROH makes its PPV debut
Ever since its debut in 2002, ROH has been the little Indy promotion that could. Throughout all the setbacks and controversies, ROH persisted and developed an insanely loyal fanbase. Their fanbase has grown so much that earlier this year, they were able to get a deal for PPV distribution and now everyone has the opportunity to experience ROH for themselves. All the PPV's that ROH have put on this year have been excellent and if they keep this type of quality up, it wont be too long until ROH had a TV deal and after that, the sky is the limit for this overachieving promotion.

6) HBK and ‘Taker go OLD SCHOOL at the Rumble
Going into the 2007 Royal Rumble, the two favorites to win the match were The Undertaker and Shawn Michaels who had both been on incredible rolls. What we didn't know, though, is that these two men would be the last two in the Rumble match and would provide 8 of the most thrilling minutes ever seen in a Rumble match. It was there first time facing each other in 9 years and they picked up right where they left off by having the crowd in the palm of their hands. Everytime each of them was almost eliminated, the crowd gasped and they were on the edge of their seat wondering who would come out on top. Finally, ‘Taker was able to avoid Sweet Chin Music and hoist Michaels over the top rope to win his first Royal Rumble and also become the first man to win with the #30 entry. This was just an incredible ending to a fantastic Rumble and what two men could have been better than these two legends to cap it off.

5) Ric Flair puts Carlito in his place
So the February 5th episode of Monday Night Raw was chugging along when Torrie Wilson and Carlito walked by Ric Flair in the backstage area. Carlito had lost a match earlier in the night and so had Flair. But while Flair was in a solemn state due to his loss, Carlito was yucking it up with Torrie and headed out of the arena. Flair asked Carlito what he was doing and Carlito responded by saying he's going home and even though he lost his match, it was cool because he'd get them next time. This pissed Flair off and that's where the awesomness began:

Flair: It's "cool?" You realize there's a Triple Threat Main Event match goin' on tonight live on RAW to see who goes to WrestleMania? You're tellin' me it's cool you're leavin?! You're not gonna' stay and watch the show?!?

Carlito: Carlito's not in the main event, so what do I care?

Flair: Didja' ever stop to think that there's a reason why guys like you -- and I'm talkin' about GUYS LIKE YOU -- are NOT in the main event? That's right, WHY you're NOT IN THE MAIN EVENT?!? Because maybe, you're a LAZY, underachievin' son of a bitch, lucky to be walkin' the halls of this building. Lucky to be on the Raw Roster! LUCKY TO BE HERE AT ALL! You're really pissin' me off right now!

Carlito: 'The hell's your problem?!

Flair: My problem? I'll tell you what my problem is. GUYS LIKE YOU that have NO PASSION... NO GUTS! You know, for all the money that you want, all the glory that you want, you wanna' fly first class, you wanna' walk around with someone like her [gestures to Torrie]? YOU DON'T DESERVE IT. Ya haven't WORKED for it. You haven't bled, sweat, and paid the price to be here. THAT's what drives me crazy. I'm walkin' this hall tryin' to figure out why guys like YOU are takin' MY spot!?! YEAH!!! Guys like YOU are takin' MY spot! I've been here FOREVER. And I'm gonna' work my ass off to stay here. McMahon told me today that if I wanna' stay I gotta' prove it to him. You wanna' stay? You gotta' prove it to YOURSELF. It's not 'cool,' it's PATHETIC. PATHETIC!!! I'm walkin' around tryin' to figure out what my name is, and you're LEAVIN? Before the main event?!? Yeah, ME! Sometimes I walk around, tryin' to figure out WHO I AM... and the whole Goddamned place knows who I am. Except ME sometimes... and you're leavin? (Dialogue courtesy of Bossman Larry)

Nothing more needs to be said. That's the best promo of '07 right there.

4) The 55-Minute classic
So when the "main event" of Raw between Shawn Michaels and John Cena started at 10:10, most of us were probably thinking that there would be some sort of screwy ending that might set up the REAL main event of the night. Unbeknownst to us, this actually WAS the main event and these two men rocked London for 55 straight minutes. What made this such a great match and moment was that this was the first time in a loooooong time (since the NWA days honestly) that a lengthy wrestling match like this took place without being an Ironman match. Not only was it a nice and unexpected surprise, but it was a great match to boot. A fantastic 55-minute match on free TV? Sign me up for that ANYDAY!

3) Walker, Texas Ra….I mean, Shawn Michaels returns
Randy Orton was running roughshod on Raw as the WWE Champion and earlier in the night his primary nemesis, Triple H, had been thoroughly destroyed by Umaga. Orton came out at the end of the show to soak in the (mandatory) adulation of all his peers, but he and Vince McMahon noticed that Triple H wasn't out there to give the champ praise. Vince ordered for Triple H to haul his ass to the ring, even if he had to crawl, and when Trips didn't show up, Orton went to go get The Game himself. But instead of being greeted by a beaten up Triple H, "Sexy Boy" blared over the arena speakers and out came a pissed off Shawn Michaels. Michaels bolted directly towards Orton and got payback on The Legend Killer for putting him on the shelf for months by kicking his head off with some Sweet Chin Music. This was an unexpected treat because in an age where practically all surprises get ruined by the internet, it was nice to be legitimately shocked by a wrestler's return.

2) Save_Us.222
The September 24th episode of Raw featured such "thrilling" matches like Santino Marella vs. Ron Simmons, John Cena vs. The Coach and Cody Rhodes vs. Hardcore Holly. Us fans were suffering and it definitely felt like something needed to save us from this mockery of a show. All of a sudden, a 15-second cryptic message flashed over the TV screen and ended with the phrase "Save_Us.222". The internet was immediately flooded with fans who tried to decipher what the message could mean. Was it to signal the return of Edge? The debut of The Hart Foundation? Many theories came up, but only one seemed to be the consensus pick of most fans. The return of Y2J, Chris Jericho. Jericho had been gone from the WWE for two years and the very thought of the Ayatollah of Rock & Rollah gracing our TV screens again were enough to make most Jericholics have a wrestling-induced orgasm. We all suspected it was Jericho, but we waited anxiously for his return. Everytime that we thought he would be coming back, the WWE would fool us and just show another cryptic message to have us craving Jericho even more. Eventually, they stopped toying with us and the night after Survivor Series, Jericho made his glorious return and looked like he hadn't missed a beat. This was a fantastic moment and definitely one of the highlights of the year for me since I'm a card carrying Jericholic.

1) Raw celebrates its 15th birthday in a major way
There were just so many great moments on this show that I couldn't just pick one, I had to lump all of them together into the #1 pick. From the return of SUNNY, to the kiss between Steph and Trips, to the return of the Hoooooooooo Train, to Ted Dibiase buying a victory in the battle royal, to Gangrel's AWESOME entrance, to the return of Mr. Charisma Steve Blackman and Flash F'N Funk, to GILLBERG, to the Evolution Reunion, to a fun ladder match between Carlito and Jeff Hardy, to the return of The Hulkster, to the unexpected and fantastic return of Mr. Monday Night RVD, to Trish Stratus and Lita teaming up to beat down Jillian Hall, to Vince getting his ass handed to him by Mankind, The Undertaker and Stone Cold, this was just a night of fantastic fun. Sure, it was nothing more than a nostalgia show and would have been even better had The Rock or Bret Hart returned, but this was still the most entertaining three hours I've spent watching wrestling all year long. I love workrate just as much as the next member of the IWC, but at the end of the day I want to be ENTERTAINED and this did that more than anything else I've watched this year.

Ridiculously Gratuitous Hot Babe Pics: The Future MILF edition









Drive-By Pimpin'

Check out all these great columns by my 411 brethren:

-Andy Clark's "Shimmy"
-Ari's "Column Of Honor"
-Sean, Alex and David's "Triple Threat"
-Bayani's "Truth B Told"
-Weyer's "Shining The Spotlight"
-Byers' "Cheap Wrestling for Cheap People"
-Larry and Geoff's "4R's"
-Fact Or Fiction
-Sat and Uncle Trunx's "High Road/Low Road"
-Phill Feltham's "Quick Talkdown"
-Sarnecky's "Piledriver Report"
-Slimmer's News Report
-Hidden Highlights
-Carapola's "That Was Then" and "Friendly Competition"
-The Fink's Payload
-Gamble's "Just 'Spose"
-Cook's "Ask 411"
-Wilcox's "Thoughts From The Top Rope"
-Meehan's "Meethinks"
-Sforcina's "Evolution Schematic"
-Prag's "In Defense Of?."
-Wrestlers of the Week
-Randle's "Wrestling News Experience"
-Linkous' "Why I Love Wrestling"
-Double M's Rasslin Report
-News To Start Your Weekend
-Dunn's Rawtopsy, Smackdown Breakdown, & ECW eXperience
-Your News, Larry's Views
-Zac Calhoun's "The Ripple Effect"
-Joe Estee's "Keys To The Game"
-Halden's "You're An Idiot And Here's Why"
-Buy......OR SELL!!

And don't forget about the new guys:

-Chris Lansdell "The Way I C It"
-Alex Barcham's "Hitting Below The Beltway"
-T.G. Corke's "The Seventh Dimension"
-Magnus Donaldson's "Cut To The Crap"
-Tim Haught's "Pro Wrestling Pundit"
-William Bumgarner's "What Were They Thinking?"
-Jarrod Westerfield's "Viral Dose Of Reality"

The Sign-Off

That'll do it for me this week gangstas. But come back next week when the topic will be The Top Ten Matches of 2007. You know you'll be back for that. Even if it's just to scoff at my choices.