Truth B Told 12.20.07: Defining Moment

Posted by Bayani Domingo on 12.20.2007

For a moment like this…some people wait a lifetime. For a moment like this…some people search forever…Yeah, I’m quoting Kelly Clarkson, so what? Wanna fight about it? This week we are visited by the ghosts of defining moment of the past, present, and future.

You know what's amazing to me? I'm up to my forehead in Christmas preparations, shopping, travel plans, and sweaters and yet I'm not even religious. I haven't been to church since college in fact, other than to attend a few funerals and weddings. It's not that I'm not a believer in a "a higher power", it's just that I can't subscribe to the theory that the higher power would no-show a PPV match he was supposed to be tagging with HBK against the McMahons. To me that just seems like a poor commitment on his part and it's no wonder his developmental deal was never picked up and his push was stopped. He's like the Carlito of ‘higher powers' if you ask me. Next thing you know he'll be forming a mid-card heel tag team alongside the Hindu elephant head guy. But I digress, the point being that we kind of just accepted X-mas as the big holiday of the entire year. The biggest, I don't care what religion you are, you have to admit that X-mas is pretty much the big holiday in all of the U.S. I don't care if you celebrate it or any other Holiday; X-mas is the "Wrestlemania" of Holidays in America.

If you don't like it, don't celebrate it, but I dare you to avoid it. Try going to a mall without seeing it everywhere. Don't turn on your radio if you don't want to hear "Jingle Bells", "I'm Dreaming of White Christmas" (yeah, racist as hell ain't it? What about a yellow Christmas huh?), or my new personal favorite "I'm the King of Ding-a-ling". I had no idea such a song existed where Santa Claus sings that he's the "King of ding-a-ling". How the hell did Vince McMahon not copyright that muthaf*ckin' song? We just all give into the X-mas frenzy. I'd love for someone to boycott X-mas and even offer to pay full price for shit that was cheaper because of a "Christmas Sale". "That will be $23.94", "What? I thought it was $35", "No sir, there is a Christmas Sale this weekend, everything was 30% off.", "Nawww man, naw…fuck that…here's the $35, I don't need your damn Christmas sale…screw all that, I don't want the oppressive Christian church telling me what I can and can not buy at fabulously low low prices, screw that man, take your damn money and shove that mistletoe up your holly jolly ass. Now…where's the f*ckin' Orange Julius?" Ain't gonna happen bro. But you know, X-mas beat out a hell of a lot of competition like Thanksgiving, Valentines Day, Fourth of July, Veteran's Day, uh….labor day…uh….arbor day….um…arbor mist. Just a shit load. Trust me on that.

But I really think that there are two reasons why X-mas hit it so big and one of them has to do with this light that supposedly shined over Bethlehem where baby Jesus was born and three dudes came up and one gave him gold, one gave him myrrh, and some dude gave him a Frankensteiner. I assume Baby Jesus no-sold that and took out all three men with a sledgehammer. Hence the name "King of Kings". Trust me, baby Jesus was booked really strong back in the day. When people call John Cena's push a "Superman Push", they really should call it a "Baby Jesus Push". Oh yeah, the other reason was that Christians didn't really want to push the whole "Jesus" thing on a lot of people so they needed a less religious symbol to take over for him and still allow them to save ridiculously money on things like peppermint bark and Merino wool sweaters. Hence Santa Claus. The man is the figurehead for X-mas, he's like the John Cena of the Holidays. Think about how comforting it is to hear "Santa Claus is coming…to town", when you hear that you get all hopeful, like, "hey, Santa is coming…maybe he'll bring me some toys, and candy, and little frosted cakes and tiny bottle of alcohol". When you hear "Jesus Christ is coming….to town", you get scared shitless. It's not hope, it's wondering if maybe you shouldn't have fucked that drunk chick that passed out at your part last weekend even though you're pretty sure she wanted it and when she woke up you told her your buddy from work did it, it's more like "Hey, Jesus is coming…awww shit, I am fucked…I might as well pack my swimming trunks and get ready to do laps in the lake of fire while dozens of lawyers, Hitler, and Benoit poke me in the ass with red hot pokers, make me drink RC Cola, and force me to watch every Sunday Night Heat on a continuous loop…fuck". It's all about marketing people. Remember that.

Okay, so that was a really long 3 paragraph to get you into the real topic this week. But… fuck it…its X-mas. No one is in your office today and if you're a student, you ain't got no f'n classes so you got time to read an extra 3 paragraphs of me just rambling for no f'n reason. I guess this was a round about way of me saying that a "defining moment", particularly one when you finally get some "gold", and not necessarily the myrrh or Frankensteiner, can really make you (like baby Jesus) or lead to absolutely nothing (like Jesus' career…you know…Carlito's old body guard…yeah…him). For me this week's topic came about because of a man known as "Jeffrey and the Technicolor Dream Hair". As many of you know Jeff Hardy is getting the push of a lifetime and while some people are on the Hardy train, others figure it's bound to derail because of a cow on the tracks…or the tracks in Hardy's arms. I think for me that a "defining moment" can make all the difference in the world for a wrestler, let's see if I'm right. *Spoiler………….I am*

We could go back a number of years to when Hulk Hogan bodyslammed Andre the Giant. We could talk about Stone Cold passing out in the sharpshooter with a crimson mask. Mankind falling off the Cell against Undertaker, Ric Flair lasting the entire Battle Royal, there are a ton of old memories that fit under the "Defining Moment" category. But since I already wasted 1/3 of this column on a rant about X-mas, let's look at the past 5 years or so when most of you either started watching wrestling or started paying attention. I'm going to give you a perfect example; Wrestlemania 21. John Cena is without a doubt the "True WWE Savior" and "The Man" as far as the "e" is concerned, yet he won his first World Title on the under card to the true Main Event; Batista vs HHH. While Cena did get a good clean win and end JBL's reign of terror over Smackdown, then did an almost unwarranted dive into the crowd, it was Batista's transformation into "The Animal" which ultimately left the biggest mark on fans as he went over the almost unbeatable HHH to capture HIS first World Title. Cena became the "name", but it was Batista that got "The Moment". Really it was that feud and that moment that defined Batista's career. Had he jobbed to HHH and Cena gone over JBL in the Main Event, then I doubt Batista would have ever held the belt. For me it's hard to pick an exact "Defining Moment" for Cena as he has had some big ones, yet for Batista it's easy as ‘diva' pie.

Another great example of "Defining Moments" come to you from two former wrestlers and deceased members of the WWE family; Chris Benoit and Eddie Guerrero. Say what you will about the man, but as a wrestler when you look at any of the biggest "Defining Moments" of the past decade Benoit's had to be one of the biggest after he got HHH to tap out in their triple threat match at Wrestlemania 20. What is significant about these two guys is that they are both former WCW wrestlers. While other former WCW guys like Big Show and King Booker won WWE Championships, neither of them were given that real big "feel". While Chris Jericho surprised everyone to become the first ever "Undisputed Champion", he was unable to maintain that kind of momentum as he eventually lost the titles back to HHH. Another great example of a "Moment gone wrong", was Rey Mysterio taking the title after a flash pin on Kurt Angle.

It seemed for the longest time that as Rey Rey marched his way towards Wrestlemania the WWE was doing their darnedest to actually sabotage his momentum. Having him lose his shot to Orton, only to be handed another shot by Teddy Long. He ended up pinning Angle alright, but the match was extremely short and the reaction from the crowd seemed a bit underwhelming. Even after his title win his title reign was one of the poorest booked in a long time. To me the moment didn't feel nearly as big as it should have. You really need to not only build a "Defining Moment" but it also has to endure and stand the test of time as a big deal. Just because something is a "Big Win" doens't necessarily mean it's your "DF" because its not just about how you talk about the moment as it happens but how you do years after. I'd have to say the same thing went for CM Punk as he won the ECW belt on a pre-taped show which was leaked via WWE.com before anyone had a chance to see it themselves on ECW. Very underwhelming especially because it a) wasn't a live show, b) involved him winning the title after being beaten time and time again by the same guy, and c) was hardly built up as a big win when it was obvious he'd take the title from Morrison due to "wellness issues". But let's not just stop there because there are more than a few examples in TNA and the Indies.

To be honest I can't think of a huge "Defining Moment" in TNA at all. Kurt Angle winning the belt? Christian taking the title? Sting or Abyss getting a cup of coffee with it? Really the one moment they could have had they missed the train on as a Samoa Joe title win against Angle would have been their best shot. As much potential as TNA has, they just lack the ability to craft a "Defining Moment" for a wrestler the way the WWE can. If anything the X-Division has done a better job of doing that, but it's still not on the same level as a true World Heavyweight Championship title. I still believe that the best chance for TNA to create a "moment" is to have Samoa Joe not only take the belt from Angle, but due it cleanly without any interference and after a few months of basically going back to the "Chokeabitch" attitude he once had. Time will tell, but until the "t" is willing to stop trying to (and failing to) "protect" their wrestlers and just letting them eat a clean pin then they are almost doomed to become consistently irrelevant. From here I think we have to go a bit North and check out that Super Indy fed known as Ring of Honor.

I have got to hand it to RoH because as much as I hate it when they give guy year long reigns with the title, they manage to match the "E's" ability to create "Defining Moments". From Low Ki being crowned the first champion, to Samoa Joe saving the company from Xavier, to Austin Aries "Giant Killer", to the rogue CM Punk's threat to take the belt with him, the redemption of a former Yung Dragon, and then the "Best in the World" putting his money where his mouth is, and finally the "Notorious 187" reaching the culmination of a career, they have managed to create quite a collection of "moments". Too bad they somehow forgot the recipe because the last few title changes have been forgettable in my opinion.

If you had to rate the biggest "Defining Moments" involving a title change then Homicide's probably ranks the lowest of the ones I mentioned. But just under that is a cluster of Xavier, Morishima, and Nigel. I'm going to save you all from reliving Xavier's title win, but let's focus on the last two. Homicide's title reign was cut short by an unceremonious ass whoopin' delivered by Margaret Choishima. Morishima came out of no where to beat the crowd favorite and from there went on a tear. While some people are split as to the legitimacy and logic of Morishima's title run, to me it seemed obvious that the title WIN at the very least was unexpected and underwhelming. Basically squashing Homicide after Homicide failed to truly capture the imaginations of the fans. Nigel McGuinness took the title off Morishima in what is reported to be a good match, but he did it after so many loses to the Jolly Yellow Giant that it was a bit of a let down to most fans. The build was just not there and since then Nigel has lost momentum after his injury and has been less than dominant in his few title defenses. I would actually place Morishima's title reign above Homicide and Nigel's due to his dominating run, but once again he just didn't have the kind of star power and longevity that I think would warrant such a "Baby Jesus push".

I think this past year we have had a few big moments. RVD taking the title could have been a "Defining Moment" if not for the Edge run in to "protect" Cena. Chris Hero could have had a big moment in beating Nigel if it wasn't for RoH apparently hating him and deciding he wasn't Championship material. Austin Aries making his surprise return definitely ranks up there for RoH, though still not as big as his first title win. Undertaker winning the Royal Rumble and going on to take the title was a big deal no doubt, but it might not even rank in the Top 5 "Defining Moments" of his career, which says more of his career than of the moment itself. I would submit El Generico's title win as one of the big moments in his career, but few people got to see it. The man won the PWG Heavyweight Title while wrestling in a Tito Santana T-shirt…how much bigger do you need to get than that??

What we are really looking to now is what is going to be the biggest moments of the next few months. For me it comes down to only two shows; Final Battle 2007 and the Royal Rumble. As much as I want to put PWG's All-Star Weekend 6 in there I'm not sure I can because as big as a CIMA or Roderick Strong title win would be to me, I think the build hasn't really been there yet. I think the "Build" is really what makes the "Defining Moment". Whether the wrestler is a year out of OVW or has been traveling the world for a decade and a half, you have to have a "build". That's why I also don't see TNA as having one on the immediate horizon either. I think this is why Final Battle and the Rumble present the best possible chances.

When you look at "Final Battle" to me you have two real chances here to create a "Moment". One is having the Briscoes finally lose the tag titles to the "Age of The Fall". Jimmy Jacobs had an improbable victory against Danielson and the AoTF have never had more momentum. For as much as Jimmy's title run with BJ and his subsequent feud against him which culminated in a brutal Cage Match has meant to his career, leading his group to victory over the invincible Briscoes would just be the cherry on top. The other chance is for the RoH Heavyweight Title. To me, I really think that a basic one-on-one match would be best, but due to Nigel's injury you have to think a 4-way protects him and gives the best chance of a quality match so it makes sense here. While RoH does a good job of building up several competitors for the title, I think that also hurts them in terms of creating that "DM" because then you can't fully focus on just one feud. While Nigel may not even be in the match if he loses the title to Aries, my gut tells me he retains and Aries is added to the mix along with Hero and Danielson. Would Nigel retaining be a huge moment? Maybe not. Would Aries or Danielson being the first two-time champion be huge? Probably, if done in a proper manner. Really, I think Hero taking the title provides you the best shot of having your "DM", perhaps more so than an AoTF win. I truly have no idea what to expect, which is a credit to Gabe's booking, but something tells me we might have to wait until 2008 to get another "DM".

Now on to the inspiration and real reason for this column today, other than having nothing better to do on a "dead week" here at my job; "Rainbow Brite" Jeff Hardy and his magical and improbably push towards the title. Many people believe he could actually do it. In fact, you couldn't pick a better man for him to take the title off. I think it would be almost foolish to believe HHH would have done the job to him clean with the title on the line, HBK, ‘Taker, hell, even Edge and Batista are out of his league. Let's not even talk about Cena. But we have Randy Orton, mega jobber and problem child holding the belt. Who is more conceivable to fall to the "Charismatic Skittle" than a man who has been holding the title already two months longer than he's usually used to. I think if there was ever a time to give Hardy his "Defining Moment" it's going to be at the Royal Rumble. They've already started the build haven't they? In fact the set up with the IC Champion facing the WWE Champion is a nod to the old school booking of the days when the "F" was still in. Hardy has a huge fan base that ranks up there with your HHH's, HBK's, and almost ‘Taker and dare I say….Cena? It seems almost too perfect to be true, and …perhaps it is. While some people look at past TLC matches or maybe the MitB big leg drop to Edge as a "DF", I don't think it qualifies in that Hardy was out there to make a big moment for a match, he was a "high spot artist", he wasn't doing it for himself and his own push. I think a lot of times Hardy is used to just throw big "spots" into matches without actually elevating him in the process and that is why it doesn't feel like a "DF" for him as much as for the match he is in.

I got to look at the logic of the decision to give Jeff Hardy the win. Sure he might be ready for the responsibility of carrying the title, but I think they might be a bit weary of giving it to him thanks to RVD and Sabu went to White Castle. Although Hardy is popular, he is still technically a "cruiserweight" and the last true "CW" they gave the belt to was Mysterio…yeah we all know how that turned out for him. Randy Orton was able to get by both HBK and Jericho who are arguably bigger stars than Hardy, so why would he lost to him if he was able to defeat the other veterans? There are so many questions and so many doubts surrounding Hardy's possible "DM" that you almost think it won't happen. But you know we have a month to go and we all know how quickly booking can change in the "e". I think the faith in Jeff Hardy as WWE Champion only extends as far as the WWE's faith in John Cena being healthy for Wrestlemania. You have to think if Cena is healthy enough to go to Wrestlemania he would be returning in the Main Event. Which match do you think would sell more PPV buys; Cena vs Hardy or Cena vs Orton? It's hard to imagine Super Cena not being the one to take down the evil Randy isn't it?

When it comes down to it I have to believe that if Hardy is ever going to win the title it will be against Orton. Then again it's not too hard to imagine him taking the win and losing it before Wrestlemania again at the next PPV. Hey, it's not like Orton hasn't suffered the same hotshot title change right? I think what really sticks out for me most is that currently I think Jeff Hardy's push has been done extremely well. Even though I can't stand the guy, I have to admit that he looks poised on the cusp of being a Champion. As much grief as I have given the "e" in recent months I think this may be the one push that if they don't prematurely abort, might just work out for them. That's really more than I can say for any other company right now. I just hope that this time around Jeff Hardy can be relied upon to take the ball and run with it…and he doesn't run it all the way down to the pawn shop so he can get money to buy smack. I just keep wondering when they'll do another 2 minute retrospective featuring Hardy to the tune of an Amy Winehouse song. "They tried to make me go to rehab, but I said…no no-show".

The Truth

I really don't know if I can believe they'll let Hardy have the belt. They didn't let Matt have it and he's a much more reliable worker. I think Hardy could do a hell of a lot better than Lashley and Orton did with their runs, but then again, you know that old saying, "No show me once, shame on you, No Show me thirteen times...and I'll fuckin' kill you...unless we need you back again after more Wellness violations". Wait...I think only Vince says that. In fact I don't even like Jeff Hardy, but I do believe he could draw, at least better than Orton could and probably better than Jericho. For me there was a real opportunity for Jericho to begin building another "Defining Moment" but after his lukewarm reaction it seems that the "e" got cold feet. He went from being the most anticipated comeback in years, to getting screwed out of a title win and being thrown into a feud with a retired wrestler and current announcer. How fucked up is that? All of that great momentum he had was squashed in the matter of twenty-four hours. I guess Jericho was really here to save us from...JBL's announcing? Trust me, I'd take JBL on the mic any day to Robotic Orton as the WWE Champion. Why punish us twice by taking away JBL AND leaving us with Orton? Just sad, but you now the "e" can redeem itself. If they don't screw things up I think they have a potentially big one on the horizon. It's all about the build, pick a horse and ride them all the way to the finish line. If the WWE and RoH can retrain themselves, 2008 could be a hell of a year. As far as TNA goes...um...at least the Knockout Title is interesting....heh heh.

Coming Up Short

So as far as I can tell the United States Champion is on par with the ECW Champion. Two perennial Smackdown jobbers are on level ground with the WWE Tag Champs who happen to be two of ECW's biggest heels, and someone finally remembered that Kenny was still under contract. So far for me this "talent exchange" is benefitting Smackdown much more than ECW. Cuz' now ECW is the Smackdown to Smackdown's RAW. It's nice to have another brand to rape isn't it SD? I don't like how this is going thus far because now it looks like anyone from Smackdown is on equal terms with CM Punk, from Mark Henry, to the mid-card champion, to the perennial lower card jobber Chavo. For me at least, until ECW comes back with some major wins, and not just over Festus, Domino, and some Major Brothers then this talent exchange is coming up seriously short on ECW's side.

6 Degrees of…



No entries this week means that I get to pick the links. Originally I was going to pick everyone's favorite underaged knocked up actress who is the sister of a formerly hot, currently chubby white trash whore, but then I thought, "Fuck Jamie Lynn Spears". Then I realized...someone already beat me to it. So this week we go with the X-mas theme and one of my all-time favorite (and under-rated) X-mas movies of all-time: Scrooged. Of course one of the better parts went to the man driving the cab. David Johansen. Who played the Ghost of Christmas past. This week we're going to link up one tough New Yorker to another...oh yeah...you know who it is....



Oh yeah, this has X-mas written all over it. Right? Riiiight? Okay, fuck it...just get to work monkeys.

Whatchu talkin' bout readers?

Random Asian Bitch Lookin' Good Pic of the Week is garbage.

Hispanic broads are better.

Vida Guerra in her prime (circa 2004) is just that. But RABLGPOTW
(Acronym!) is dead.

Great article as usual, just change the demographics of the hot bitches.

The Fuj

Sorry Fuj but the Asian Bitches have been my bread and butter...I mean...Rice and Soy Sauce for years now. I don't know what I'd do without them. I am however thinking of putting your theory to the test next year. Maybe some side-by-side comparisons of the hottest Asian and Latina women on the planet is in order. Trust me if the opportunity ever really came up for me to get Mayra Veronica and Francine Dee side-by-side I would be giving my 2 week notice and spending that time training with a team of tantric and cardio experts. Billy Blanks, you're my only hope. Oh well, Feliz Navidad anyways Fuj.

6 Degrees Results

Hey, no entries this week. Just makes my job that much easier.

Left Overs…

Since Carlito is staying I say move him over to ECW to feud with Kofi Kingston. Eddie's half brother, the darker half of course. Have them feud over spitting things at each other. Carlito will spit his apple at him, Since lord knows how much Puerto Ricans love apples, then have Kofi spit out a mouthful of Funions and Orange Crush Super Big Gulp. If he's going to be true to his "Jamaican" stereotype he doesn't need pyro for his entrance, only a continuous cloud of smoke.

So the Major Brothers went "heel" did they? Not that they wouldn't make great heels mind you, I just don't see them as bad ass, ass kicking, evil do-ers. They'd be more "heelish" as rogue Abercrombie and Fitch workers who refuse to check in the back for a large size of cargo pants. Yeah, those fuckers know that they're back there, but they refuse to sell you anything bigger than a 29 Waist.

I kind of like the Santino/Carlito team. Because if anyone can get along its Italians and Puerto Ricans. I think they already tried that before, that stable was called "Brooklyn". They need to bring Jimmy Wang into the group to play a paranoid shop owner, STAT.

Not Safe For Work Link of the Week: You know...I think if we had less "Sweatin' To The Oldies" and more of THIS we would be in a hell of a lot better shape than we are now. Well, at least one arm.

I'm looking for a good name for the Mark Henry/Big Daddy V tag team. My thinking is to go old school. How about; "Fear of a Black Diet".

So I'm confused, when people refer to the "Flying Burrito" in recaps are they talking about HBK's flying forearm? Or Rey Mysterio?

Why the fuck is Chavo in ECW now? Shouldn't he be on Smackdown keeping Eddie's old lady off the tip of Edge's dick? I'm going to put this out there right now for everyone to read, if any of my family or close friends are reading, whatever happens to me from here on out, if I should unceremoniously die in the near future, do me a favor. Don't like Edge fuck my chick. I know it's gotta be a long shot, but just do me that solid.

Bushwhacker Luke will be at "Final Battle" as a special guest. Who the hell promotes that? Who in their right mind is watching RoH that used to be a HUGE Bushwhacker "mark"? Like someone is sitting at home going, "Shit, that show is a good 3 hour drive away, oh well maybe next ti…wait a second…BUSHWHACKER LUKE…Jimmy, get your coat and your boomerang".

Looking to "work the fans" TNA is looking for Christopher Daniels to do a lot of Indy dates the next few months to make it look as if he was truly fired. Good news for any Indy not named RoH. I doubt he'll be allowed to work for Gabe/Cary again, though you never know. Oddly enough Xavier claimed he has been doing a similar gimmick for RoH. He just hasn't been told when he can come back yet.

So I guess "Hart Nation" is ready to go. So Bret named his kids Beans, Blade, Dallas, and Jade. Why do those all seem like names you'd have to face in the "Eliminator" or "Powerball"?

Random Asian Bitch Lookin' Good Pic of the Week



*Yawn* Oh shit...you're still here. Um...didn't that $3 cover the bus fare?

Disco Machine is now a backstage producer for TNA. His first assignment was to produce a logical storyline. He did just that and was immediately fired.

I don't know if this has been done, but I'm really pushing for someone to debut on the Indy scene with a "Buddhist" gimmick in a hardcore company. They would constantly compete in death matches and each time they lost they would show up at the next show with a new gimmick.

Bonus cuz' its X-mas Asian Bitch Lookin' Good Pic of the Week



Run in your stalkings? Hell no...I couldn't even get those on and walk...oh...sorry, I misunderstood, I thought this was a whole Oscar De La...nevermind

Pimpin' In High Places

Damn I am broke. Seriously broke. I over spent. I just got too carried away this year and now I'll be paying for it. What sucks is that now that I'm changing my lifestyle and eating healthy I can't even rely on those $4 fast food meals to keep my wallet full anymore. Eating healthy is expensive, maybe that's why people on diets lose so much weight, they can't afford to eat after they bought all that damn flax seed and green tea. Next year everyone is getting the same gift: an autographed picture of me…xeroxed:

Ask 411 and ye shall receive. If I were you I'd ask for a ‘gift receipt' though. Cook is the only guy I know who enjoys Jim Beam and not in an ironic way. I myself enjoy the smooth bold taste of Crown Royal. A Canadian Whiskey with Canadian sensibilities, smooth, bold, round supple breasts and a nice tight ass. Wait…I think I got the whiskey confused with Trish Stratus. Eh, the only two decent things you Canuckers ever gave us.

Jules has his Top moments of 2007. I bet #8 was "I touched a boob". Wait…I think he's been mixing up his "personal" and "wrestling" moments again.

Mattis gives you his thought on Armageddon. He enjoyed the Main Event, but not the soundtrack. Yeah…I wouldn't want to miss a thing either.

Sully gets Happy, Sucky, and something in between.

HH is manned by the infamous JP and a special guest this week. Apparently a guy named Jerome. So he can't be half bad. I mean, when is the last time you ever said the phrase, "Holy shit…he shot me…I can't believe *Jerome* shot me". Never, that's when. You can trust a guy with a name like Jerome.

CoH is on paranoid alert this week as Ari smells a rat in the great state of Ohio. I don't think a TNA vs RoH war is starting any time soon. If it does I'm betting on TNA. All Dixie has to do is promise Samoa Joe a slab of cooked bacon for each head of an RoH member he delivers. He'll be armpit deep in hog by lunch time.

Threat x 3 previews Armageddon. I wonder if somehow they'll end up being 3 Martels in the column.

Lansdell Calrisian reviews the 15th RAW anniversary show. I can just imagine Chrissy staying up late to watch the show. John Cena visor on and big inflatable RVD hands, Jeff Hardy plush teddy bear, and his favorite pair of "100% Stratusfaction" bra and panty set on. Awww…that kid must have slept like a baby after all that excitement.

Evo Scheme brings you the Hotness that was Sunny. Although Sforcina forgot the gratuitous pics of her. She really was the hottest piece of as wrestling ever had for a very long time. Sorry Moolah, you know it's true.

RRRR has even MORE Armageddon reviews. This time Csonka tackles the tough issues and answers the question that is on everybody's mind: When the hell is someone going to save us…from paying too much for car insurance. SaveUs_Gecko222.


Sammy has his big 1 Year Anniversary column for the IMC. I make a quick pit stop to review a forgotten favorite of mind from ASW4: Pac vs Generico. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll say "ole". It's the feel good cameo of the season. Oh and I guess I should plug the Cool Kids Table, which is a podcast that Brad Garoon and Sammy host pretty much every week. They talk about their thoughts on wrestling from the mainstream to the Indy to the so obscure even Wiki won't touch it. I actually do a guest spot on that as well. I think I sound weird. I also played it very straight and behaved myself because I didn't want to get an invite into someone else's party and be the guy that got drunk and peed on inside the piano. I think I came off way too seriously and stiff…it felt like I was meeting a chick's parents for the first time and I tried to answer all these questions the best I could…while knowing their daughter said I could "do it in the naughty place" later that night if I didn't screw things up. Hmm….perhaps a bad analogy. It's going to be awkward seeing those guys in the hallway now, I guess that was my first and only guest spot.

D-Dubya is doing some fantasy booking of his own in a company called "Desire Championship Wrestling". Yeah, sounds kinda "porny" doesn't it. If Major Gunns isn't in this fed I'll be sorely disappointed. If she is…I'll be sore somewhere else. *Hi-YO*

Hey…have a Merry Christmas. Yeah, cuz' Chanukah is over and Kwanzaa ain't coming up the pipe till after next week. Which is cool actually. It's the holiday when all the after Holidays sales are going on. That is brilliant. Celebrate your heritage, spend time with friends and family, and do it all at 40% with an additional 15% savings. Man, y'all know what's up. I hope Chinese New Years syncs up with some good Clearance Sales this year. Well everyone enjoy your Holiday break, be safe, enjoy the DVD's, t-shirts, John Cena bedspread, and Highlander action figures...or not.

Till then, the Truth will set you free.

-B