Wrestling’s 4R’s 1.11.08: The Raw Roulette, TNA’s Gauntlet-Maina, Smackdown’s Beat the Clock, ECW and the 15-Minutes of Fame and Much More!

Posted by Larry Csonka on 01.11.2008

It’s a gimmick filled edition of Wrestling’s 4R’s~!

How the 4R's of wRestling Work!

Here is a quick explanation of the 4R's. I will take the 4 main shows (5 if I go RetRo) of the week: TNA Impact, WWE Raw, ECW on Sci-Fi and WWE Smackdown. If we have a PPV, that show will get a special PPV edition of the R's all to its own. I then group my feelings on the shows in various categories: The Right, the wRong and the Ridiculous. The Right is stuff that worked very well: a great promo, a great match and so on. PuRgatoRy is a section between the right and wrong. It shows equal traits from both sides that cannot be ignored and need discussed. It is not a bad place per say, as things can get remedied or go the wrong way the very next week. The wRong is what it sounds like: bad matches, bad or boring promos and so on. The Ridiculous is stuff that had no right on TV: Stupid angles, Diva searches and so on. And there is always a possibility of a 5th R, which is as bad as they come. This column is supposed to be analytical, and at the right time very critical of the shows, it was the whole reason it was created. This is not a "mark" column, nor a "smark" column, I cannot speak for Geoff, but my goal is to analyze the show from many different fronts, reward the good and call out the bad. There are also occasions where I will bring out a 4th, 5th or even a 6th R to the column, so beware of those~! I will not apologize for my opinions, they are as they are, whether very positive or negative.

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TNA iMpact!:


iMpact 1.03.08:

The Right:

The Women's Gauntlet: I really liked the women's gauntlet this week on Impact. Overall the division has been very enjoyable and they are all working hard to prove that it was a good idea to have the division and it shows. They had all of the ladies, minus Gail out there and this gauntlet match I felt hade a good flow and they seemed to keep it simple, and it worked and never got as clustery as some of the other matches. I hated the commercial break, a theme, but when we came back from commercial everything was virtually the same; with ODB, Jackie, Roxxi and Kong still in there. ODB, Jackie and Roxxi all worked to eliminate Kong. Some felt that she shouldn't have been eliminated because it weakens her, but I liked it because she had rolled over everyone and the only person to pin her has been Gail. They made sure that it took all three to eliminate her, and in the end it works because ODB wins and is now in line for a title shot, while Jackie and Roxxi get some steam back and can be viable contenders to break up Kim and Kong down the line and add some variety, which is the spice of life after all. ODB wins, they love here there and overall this was good stuff.

TOMKO…IS…AWESOME: I have to say that this week Tomko separated himself from the pack in TNA. I never thought I would say that. I have made note of his constant improvement, but this week it just clicked. First he gave a promo in the back, laughing at Angle for demanding that he answer him about which side he would be on. He would come to the ring and he and Angle had their verbal confrontation. Angle laid it out for him and said that Tomko should be a good soldier and follow Angle. Tomko countered that he wouldn't take a bullet for no one but himself, and that HE is the person he would be with no matter what. Angle seemingly understood, ad then decided to try and attack Angle. This did not work out well for Angle. Tomko grabbed him by the throat and said that this time Angle would get a pass, but the next time Angle tried anything, he would break his neck…permanently. When this was over, all I could think is that the TNA Champion looked like a geek again, while Tomko came off looking like a star.

38-Minutes: Usually every week I discuss the amount of wrestling that we have on the show. As I have stated repeatedly: I still feel that they need to offer up as close to as much wrestling time as there are commercials. There are 18-20 minutes of commercials per episode of Impact. So hence forth as I have said, I feel that there should be around 15-18-minutes of wrestling action per week, minimum on Impact. I think that is an important thing. They need to show enough wrestling to make people want to buy a PPV. No one buys a show based off of 2-minute matches, run ins and no finishes. And I would suggest I am right, look at TNA's buyrates. So that being said I think that 35-40-minutes a week of wrestling should be the goal with the 2-hour show. This week I am glad to put this in the right as they had right around 38-minutes of wrestling on the show this week. TNA is saying they are the alternative and that they are wrestling, and on PPV they deliver the wrestling. While they are inconsistent, it is nice to place this in the right this week as more rights make the writing all the easier.

The purgatory:

The Tag Team Gauntlet: The Tag Team Gauntlet was the opening match last week on Impact. We were treated to Kip James HOMO-RIFFIC tights, which have now become a joke on the air. Maybe that's why BG wants to choose a new tag team partner. The match was pretty good, everyone seemed to work hard but it quickly became a cluster. The good was that we got 10-minutes before a commercial, unfortunately that would prove to actually hurt the match. I hated that they went to commercial and then we came back and were down to the final teams. This is not good. I also hated that they only gave us less than 60-seconds of the final two teams. That is ridiculous and is a bad editing move. I would gladly have sacrificed some of the initial 10-minutes shown to see the final eliminations and then get more of the action at the end. It really hurt things, especially because the RNR Infection eliminated LAX, who are feuding. That is a key moment that we should have seen, but due to poor structure and editing we missed it, which is unfortunate.

The X Division Gauntlet: We had an X-Division Gauntlet on the show, featuring six men and overall it was a good bit of fun. They hit some sweet and fun spots and the crowd was into it. As far as the action, it was fine, but short. Even though it was short, the good news is that they did NOT get interrupted by a commercial break and to me that makes a big difference as far as match flow goes. So hooray for that! One thing I feel needs mentioned is that this match was indicative of how weak the X-Division has become. The match featured Petey Williams, Johnny Devine and Sonjay Dutt, who are all fine competitors. But they rounded things out with Shark Boy, Elix Skipper and Senshi, who is leaving. That's weak. Adding on, as mentioned Senshi made it to the final to men. On one hand it was smart because he is leaving and took the pin to help get Petey more cemented in a top role in the division. On the other hand, you just made a guy that isn't under contract anymore the default #2 contender under the rankings rules of the gauntlet concept. Puzzling.

The Heavyweight Gauntlet: The weakest of the gauntlet matches I felt was the heavyweight gauntlet. We got two minutes of action, and shot to a commercial. When we came back, we jumper to having a bunch of people in the ring and that threw off the flow I felt. Compared to the other matches, it just felt as if it was going through the motions, not bad, but not particularly very good either. The saving grace I felt was the booking of the ending of the match. It was seemingly down to Nash and Joe, as Angle has laid out Cage on the floor. Nash made the title around the waist motion and shook hands with Joe and eliminated himself. Unfortunately for Joe, Cage was still eligible and alive, and he snuck in and snagged the pin. This added momentum for Cage's title shot and added to Joe's bitchy character. I also liked the story that Booker requested to be first in the gauntlet because he wanted to earn his stripes in TNA. While on level they have really made him another guy, I like the unselfishness of his character; he wants to win the title but wants to do it, "The right way." One last thing, did you know RelliK spelled backwards was Killer?

The Wrong:

GAUNTLET MAINA~!: Now while the show overall wasn't bad, I do have an issue with the whole gauntlet concept for the show. The first issue is that it was overkill. By the time the final match came along, I had no desire to watch another gauntlet match. It wasn't tat the matches were bad by any means, most of them were fine and pretty fun, but it is overkill I felt. I believe Steve Cook nailed it perfectly that they could have spanned these over four shows if they were set on doing them for the purpose of "rankings." And that brings us to #2. These gauntlet matches were apparently to set the rankings for the divisions, and to crown #1 contenders. Again I have a problem with this. This was the go home show for the PPV, which already had title matches set and ready to roll. Again, if spanned over four shows, they could have used these to make the title matches, making each and every show important in some way and making the gauntlet matches have a purpose. Finally, I feel that this caused confusion. You do these gauntlets for ranking when you already have people set for title matches. They you create #1 contenders with the gauntlets, and finally you have Petey, Steiner and BG James with briefcases all promising title shots, essentially making them #1 contenders. When the show was over, you all of these contenders and it was rather confusing. I just felt that this could be done better.

Setting up Joe and Nash as partners: This is one of those things that they throw out there that tends to annoy people, myself included. Joe comes out to further his beef with management because he has no PPV match, but Nash and "The Phantom of the Impact Zone" have a tag title match. That was a great line by the way. This brought out Nash, they talked shit and then Cornette announced a Vince Russo classis, TAG TEAM PARTNERS THAT DO NOT GET ALONG! In the recap I asked the following question: Logic Question: Why would Jim Cornette give Hall and Nash a tag team title shot for the PPV, when Hall no-showed the last PPV, hasn't been seen since and they had done nothing to earn the title shot? It makes no sense, some have tried to make logic out of it by saying it was a contract thing or something, but the fact is that they kill their theories because they waited all the way until the last show before the PPV to announce that this match was going to happen.

The Ridiculous:

The Biggest Loser – And it isn't AJ: While there was plenty to enjoy on the show this week, the one thing I did not like was the adventures of AJ Styles the Idiot. They did this horrific line of segments from "AJ'S Grand Mamma's House," which she never appeared, so I doubt the legitimacy of it being her house. That's a joke kids. Anyway, they did SIX SEGMENTS of this stuff, playing up the indecision of AJ Styles in regards to Kurt Angle and Christian Cage. We saw AJ'S Sister, "MJ STYLES" discuss AJ and masturbation, his high school wrestling coach discuss AJ pissing his tights when he had to face a lesbian wrestler and a priest discuss him as an alter boy. He wasn't their priest though, because AJ and his family are Baptists you see. HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAA! By the end of the night, AJ had not made a choice and promised to do so on the PPV. PROMISING A RUN IN (which we got.) But the thing here is that no matter how much of a goof AJ Styles is booked as, he isn't the biggest loser in this deal. The biggest loser, well losers are Cage and Angle. These two men are fighting over the biggest goof the entire roster when they should be focused on the TNA Title. It makes no sense. You have Tomko almost kill Angle and Cage is like, "I respect that…but enough about the giant man that almost killed my opponent, I want the goof locked up in GRANNY'S HOUSE!" This is the stuff that kills me about TNA, they have so much talent, but unfortunately for as much great talent as they have; they have an equal amount of bad booking.

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SmackDown!:
By: "The Whole Geoffin Show" Geoff Eubanks

WWE SmackDown 1.04.08

I need to start this week gushing to all those who were kind enough to comment/e-mail me regarding the dissertation which ran last week in lieu of the traditional R's where I postulated how I'd go about the rumored post-WM draft. I worked for WEEKS fine-tuning that sucka and it's always great to have hard work appreciated, so thanks very much to all!

First of all, I have to send kudos to JJ, Jordan and Torad who noticed my massive fuck-up in having accidentally omitted CM Punk. Seriously, I was almost in tears when Hunter (Larry…hahaha!) texted me and was all, "Forgot Punk, did ya?" The most heartfelt and sincere apologies to Punk and all his fans. I assure, this was NOT purposeful!!! He was most certainly on my first draft (no pun intended); however, once I realized that I needed to stick to my own suggestion and place much more focus on the women (ie, women who can wrestle need to be on the brand with the title), I had to start virtually from scratch, and, when putting the women under the microscope, Punk didn't make it from my first draft to my second, which just mortified me once my gross error was brought to my attention. Believe me, I really kicked my own ass over that one. Seriously. Like, bruises and shit. Thanks to Hunter for adding him before TOO many people saw my oversight.

Well, because of my nincompoopery, my whole draft was thrown off, BUT I can fix it, so allow me to redress my jackassery. Remember how I had The Boogeyman be more of an "entity" on SD!, as opposed to an actual roster member? Well, let's replace Boogey on the SD! roster with Punk and carry Boogey's "entity" character over to BOTH rosters. It increases the unpredictability of his character and, really, makes more sense, doesn't it, then have Punk join the face UST hunt, Right? Okay. Cool? (Looks behind me) Butt clean? Yup. Let's move on and discuss the comments.

"That Geoff guy sure is long-winded." LMFAO! Uh, yup…where you been for the past two years, dood? HA! Larry and I got a good laugh out of that. Guilty as charged! However, it's tough to abbreviate a draft consisting of 34 total picks! I really wanted to be thorough, and I think I was, despite the one glaring Straight-Edge fuck up.

"The idea of Moore Wang vs. Londrick is making me more happy than I should be" Poppycock! It's an awesome idea…let that boner swing, my good man…but I'll be over here, k? LOL!

"Geoff - your roster idea is GOLD!!!" – Thanks very much, Jadd!!! (slides Jadd his check on the sly)

As for e-mails:

Steve Lavender (who is apparently quite the ladies man) made this comment with regard to the pairing of Val Venis and Stevie Richards:

THANK YOU!!! That is the same thing I've been bitching about since forever to anybody who would listen. Stevie Richards is actually my favorite wrestler.

Wow, talk about a long-suffering fan. I admire you, Steve! I fell asleep to the Barely Legal DVD the other night and woke up as Stevie was being counted out in the main event and actually thought about you. Uh, not like that, though…

As for my new best friend, Luis Machado:

I just finished reading your wishful draft for this year. I agree 100% with each and every idea you listed in that column. As I read the article I just kept imagining everything that was there and I couldn't help but smile. If there was any justice in the world, someone higher up from the WWE would print out your ideas, ship them over to Vinny Mac, and decided they have the perfect draft right there already made for them. Quick scenario: Would you rather get an e-mail from Vinny Mac himself, saying that you had some really great ideas but none of them are ever used? Or would you rather the WWE really help themselves by using ALL of your ideas, but you never get any recognition? (I'm pretty sure I already know your answer, but sometimes people can surprise you, lol)

First of all THANK YOU! Seriously, I was really bracing for a hell of a backlash from this article and have been humbled by the all-but 100% positive feedback my prospectus enjoyed. You know what really struck me was that no one even intimated they were the mildest morsel upset at the notion of deep-sixing WWECW. Interesting, no?

With respect to Luis' e-mail, believe it or not, I could get along just fine without an e-mail from ol' Vince "My Butt Does Tricks" McMahon. If he wanted to show a little gratitude for doing what his "genius" should be, make Jeff & Matt duel simultaneous world champions, with Matt being the one to dethrone Edge. That'd be enough for me.

Now, on with the show. Bronco Lubich, your referee.

The Right

Taker set to go to school – One possible good thing to have come out of the lukewarm Beat-the-Clock challenge set forth by Vickie Guerrero is that we could be seeing an angle develop from it if we may infer such from Matt Striker's post-bout interview. That's a good function of these gimmicky shows like this and Raw's typically unwatchable roulette night or whatever cute name they give it, which really means grab a bottle, hunker down and pray for daylight. Now we can discuss the value of Taker facing Mark Henry and Big Daddy V should it materialize…

Ssh…be vewy quiet…MVP's huntin legends – I discuss my thoughts on the MVP/Finlay match below as part of the whole Beat the Clock deal this week (scroll to puRgatory). Although I was miffed at the match and the psychology (or lack thereof) surrounding it, I can see how that situation could irritate MVP and why he'd set his sites on being the one to end Ric Flair's career, which is one of those "fun and function" situations of which I'm so fond. We're still having to find something meaningful for MVP to do as Matt Hardy mends and Flair needs opponents. I was surprised we're putting off the match till the RUMBLE, but that's a wise decision, as it doesn't require Flair to have to compete till then, plus the promos will be awesome. For my money, Hardy returns at the RUMBLE to cost MVP the win and keep Flair's career rolling along.

The Redneck & The Reject continue to impress – We've had some very good luck recently on SD! where the tag scene is concerned, in that, a couple thrown-together teams have ended up gelling quite well and making our tag division nothing if at least not more interesting and entertaining. Funny how Jimmy Wang Yang & Shannon Moore were just thrown together on a lark and have ended up being an incredibly more entertaining (and one could argue, these days, at least, more successful) than the carefully planned and presented Deuce & Domino, who lost clean to Moore & The Wanger here tonight. I'd much rather have these two take on and defeat John Morrison & The Miz at the RUMBLE for the WWETTTs as opposed to what will be a meaningless battle royal appearance by the four, but that's just me.

The hog sails home without Michelle – Again, the match we had this week featuring Chuck Palumbo and Michelle McCool (this week, facing, believe it or not, Kenny Dykstra and Victoria) was, like two weeks ago, simply the prelude by which we're furthering their eventual split. We took a large step in that direction tonight, as McCool ate a Widow's Peak in a mixed tag match, thereby forcing Palumbo to rack up another loss. Ate up by anger, Palumbo tells a disheartened McCool (who totally no-sells the Peak post-match…BOO!) that he's taking off alone because he's too pissed off at her for losing the match for them. I've made plain how I'd personally like to see this end up, that Jamie Noble is there for McCool after Palumbo turns his back (or starts to beat) on her, and Palumbo, in turn, suddenly starts being seconded by Victoria, McCool's nemesis. I'm also liking the fact that the road to this heel turn is giving Palumbo a personality. Not a nice one, mind you, but he's relying more on expressing himself now as opposed to having us try to care about him because Michael Cole tells us yet again that he builds his own motorcycles or because JBL tells us we should care about him because his brother served in Iraq; this is a GOOD thing. Palumbo's mic skills are certainly more than acceptable and, now that he's evolving a character, hopefully we can see that character develop. I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes!

purgatory:

Beat the Clock – First of all, the entire BTC concept is a huge puRgatory in and of itself, because, as 411's Samuel Berman said in last week's Fact or Fiction:

To me this is one of those little things that I dislike the most about WWE and its internal psychology; why is faster better? Why not have it be a fan pole of who was most impressive in the ring, rather than who could squash an opponent most quickly? I mean, I understand that that's a far less sexy concept to promote, but honestly, the stipulation always comes down to whatever the biggest mismatch is rather than the BEST match up. How about have four singles matches in the first hour and then have the winners meet in a four-way elimination match in RAW's main event? I know, competition, what a crazy concept.

Fuh shizz, I am 100% on board with that! Something else that completely miffed me about the manner in which this whole thing was set up tonight was that Vickie Guerrero announces that we'd see Finlay, Rey Mysterio, Batista and The Undertaker all competing in the BTC competition…wow, kinda sucks to be one of the opponents, doesn't it…? It tells us all up front that we can expect whoever those four performers are facing isn't important enough to be concerned with.

And then who's Finlay's opponent in the first match? The freaking US Champion, MVP! They go to the trouble of omitting MVP's usual entrance hoohah to maintain the mystery opponent thing going, but then MVP loses (not cleanly, at least!), but it just felt as if the holder of the secondary title was merely a cog in the machine. To further that notion, nether Finlay nor MVP appeared too concerned with setting an unbeatable time; they may as well have had "we were told to eat ten minutes of ring time in the opener" air brushed onto their tights. And then, clean or not, Finlay got a win over the US Champion…and not a WORD was mentioned about that fact! Traditionally, scoring a victory in any capacity under any circumstances was a big deal and the victor would automatically be put first in line for a title shot. But no…nothing was even mentioned. That, friends, is LAME and wRong.

Now cut to the second BTC math, Chavo Guerrero versus Funaki…BATTLE OF THE WELLNESS OFFENDERS!!! They should have had Chris Masters come back and ref it. This match was the complete opposite of Finlay/MVP, in that, at the cost having what would even pass for a decent match (and these guys could potentially have a GREAT one), they were working the stipulation to DEATH. I mean Chavo would flick a booger at Funaki and go for a pin attempt. It was Ridiculous, disappointing and BORING. And if you thought Shabbo had a chance in hell of having his time take him to the RUMBLE's main event, you probably dense enough to think Larry is 411's answer to Triple H.

In terms of working the clock and overall match quality, as well as a more sound psychology, the remainder of the three matches of the night improved markedly. In match #3, Vickie sets up Batista by forcing him to take on THE EDGEHEADS in Larry's favorite, the handicap. However, as with the PPV DQ finish, when used sparingly and in an intelligent manner, they work, and this one did, certainly. It made perfect sense, too, because Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder's paramount goal was never to actually win the thing, but to prevent Big Dave from doing so, and they were successful…yes, a face actually failed to overcome the odds, and it was perfectly good and fine and Right.

Vickie would later go on to screw Taker (there's a visual for you take on your weekend) by forcing him to battle Mark Henry with Big Drippy's manager, Matt Striker, as the special referee. A competitive contest ensued, but Taker finally had Henry in a clear pinning predicament as time was about to expire, and Striker refused to count out his man, eliminating Taker from the running, saving Edge from having to face the man who injured the "love of his life", also affording THE RATED RMY a measure of revenge against him.

I realize, with Vickie calling her own shots in Edge's favor, she's given herself carte blanche to do as she pleases and chuck convention out the window, but how in the world can Edge compete to be the #1 Contender to his own title? I won't complain too much because the match was a lot of fun and THE RATED RMY's shenanigans blew up in their faces when Taker and Batista did everything in their power to ensure Edge wouldn't come out of BTC with his head held high, while still not disobeying Vickie's warning from the opening of the show, that, should either man lay a finger on Edge, they could kiss their title aspirations goodbye. I think we're going to see next week, that, while Taker magically darkened the arena, that he, through cover of self-imposed shadow, made his way to ringside and put out Edge, facilitating Rey Mysterio's victory, thus, Rey will not be going to the RUMBLE to face Edge for the WT after all (and rendering the entire main thrust of tonight's show meaningless). Expect RATED-R, where R stands for Reprisals. At least we appear to have done away with "Spanglish" Rey, but his promos still smell like last week's laundry.

And speaking of Chavo – What was that promo in Vickie's office where he said he wanted to roll back the hands of time and go back to the good old days? To what good old days is he referring? When he came to the ring riding a stick pony? Kerwin White, maybe? Something tells me we're in for another Chavo disaster. I hope I'm wRong!

So…Coach, huh? – I know Coach has his fans and that's cool. But I'm not happy with the decision to make him the new color man (NO RACE JOKES!) for Friday nights. For one thing, he's a much better heel antagonist than he is announcer. Second, and this really is just me…unless it's you, too…his voice just BUGS me. But the worst thing is, I had to remind myself to listen to the commentary tonight. Obviously, it's bad enough that we've lost JBL, whom we all pretty well agree is the best thing to happen to the announce desk in WWE since Bobby Heenan, but when the commentary is so innocuous that I have to remind myself it's not crowd noise or something, that's not good. Granted, this is their first week together, so much can change as the team evolves, but, although certainly not nearly as bad as it could have been, they certainly weren't good.

The wrong:

Where's Anastacia? – I mean, really…!!! Where is she?!

The Ridiculous

NADDA~!


Remember people, show Geoff some love by emailing him here: [e-mail]

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MONDAY NIGHT RAW!:


Raw 1.07.08

The Right:

Sorry about your luck HBK: The first match of the night was to feature HBK vs. Mr. Kennedy, but with the Roulette in place the tables were turned and the match became a "strange bedfellows match," which means WACKY TAG TEAM PARTNERS! They faced Charlie Haas and Trevor Murdoch. Charlie did his wacky heat gimmick with the mask, and I agree with JD in that they should have he and Cabana do a wacky masked tag team gimmick ala Matt Classic. Kennedy would tag to HBK who worked most of the match that we saw, HBK controlled and eventually would look for a tag, which Kennedy said no thanks too. The end was HBK super kicking Haas, Kennedy blind tagging in and getting the mic check on HBK and THEN pinning Haas. Now this I liked for several reasons. They could have gone with the cliché walk out by Kennedy, or they could have done the "attack HBK" deal and have him leave, which would have been HBK fighting the odds, coming back and winning. Instead, Kennedy is made to look smart and sneaky. HBK does the work, hits the kick and then not only does Kennedy come in to lay HBK out, but also he gets the pin on top of that. DOUBLE FUCK YOU SHAWN! Again, I feel that they have followed up VERY well on the PPV match and loss that Kennedy took. He now has a win over HBK and this week he outsmarts him AND gets a win on TV.

Hardy vs. Umaga: The main event for Raw this week was Umaga vs. Jeff Hardy in a steel cage match. This was a damn fine main event, and a nice way to kick off the year as far as a Raw main event goes. They have worked well in the past and did so again here, they are awesome. They worked a very good match, kept the crowd and everything clicked. Randy Orton was awesome in the match as he was on the outside, constantly yelling instructions and almost working as hard on the outside as the guys worked in the ring. The finish saw Jeff get the twist of fate, and climbed the cage. But Orton was on the floor to try and cut him off. With Orton on the floor and Umaga still in the ring, Jeff dove off with the top of the cage whisper in the wind and got the win over Umaga. Orton's facial expressions were awesome, as he just had this look like, "Holy shit…this dude has my number and will do ANYTHING to win!" An excellent way to cap off the match I felt and Hardy is coming off like a huge star, so mission accomplished. Although they still have the issue that Jeff is the IC Champion. I feel that they again missed the chance to have Orton screw him of his title. I guess we'll wait to see what happens next week in that regard, but I am NOT a fan of them holding the IC Title hostage like this.

The purgatory:

First Blood: Raw kicked off this week with Vince saying he had to deliver big time in the first Raw of the year, and he revealed the RAW ROULETTE~! Vince then announced that Regal would take on HHH, and he spun the wheel and it landed on first blood match. Thankfully for them it wasn't a lingerie match. HHH then attacked Regal as he left the office. Time for the match came, and Regal was sporting his PIMP robe that we haven't seen in a while, sine he really hasn't wrestled in a while. What amazes me is that these guys work SO WELL together, the crowd was into it and I just don't understand why they have never had a program. Come on HUN-TOR, give regal some love brother. The match was good, cool finish as the blood just flowed down Regal's face. No pussy trickle either; this was perfect flow. The blade job was very obvious, not because Hunter wasn't slick about it, but because the cameraman did too good a job and got the angle on it. But other than that I liked the match as they worked very well together. My problem is that I felt they totally jumped the gun. The Regal run in happened and they jumped into the match. They could have set it for next week, or even the Rumble. They could have added that if HHH wins he gets his Rumble shot back, but if he loses he can't get a title shot in 2008. I just wanted some more build for it

Trading Places: This was the match where Carlito faced off with Bob Holly, but with the wacky stipulations, they had to dress like each other! I was hoping that Carlito would have to go to Alabama and fight off Holly's sex crazed cousins and sheep, while Holly would have to go to Puerto Rico and give Scott Hall head as payment for wrestling. Anyway, it was humorous sure, but it was so damn goofy and emphasized that these guys are jokes right now because they aren't being booked to make anyone care. The good I can take from this is that they seem to be trying to build a tag title feud, and that is a good thing. Cade is out for a while with the injury, the Highlanders and a joke and London and Kendrick have been wasted. Hopefully they can build something and get London and Kendrick properly involved, because they have been an untapped resource since coming to Raw.

Lingerie Pillow Fight: First of all let me say this. I fully an fine that this match was for T and A purposes only. I fully accept that. Would I have liked a competitive ladies match instead, sure, but I am fine with ass shaking and bouncing titties. It has its place. And I was settled into making this a right and moving on. Jillian singing her theme music is FUCKING great on so may levels. It just adds so much to her character. The Ashley return got a good pop (WHAT BRAND EXTENSION?), she got pyro and they tried to make it a big deal. Yes, these are good things. But here is the problem, they didn't just have a pillow fight and roll around to give the men folk that were watching wood. No, instead they tried to work a match around the bullshit, and there is where my problem is. It actually has nothing to do with the fact that it sucked either, I didn't care because I was too busy watching Mickie James and thinking happy thoughts. But since they had them try and work a match, they seriously risked the health of these women. First of all Jillian almost blew out her knee taking a bump off of the bed. As if that wasn't bad enough Ashley couldn't stop properly and ran into a boot from Jillian, and Ashley almost broke her face. Finally Mickie almost killed Melina trying a powerbomb on the bed. Jesus, I mean, did someone in the back want to off the ladies? Make a decision, have them do a T and A deal, or have them wrestle. Do not mix the two, because when that happens we border on disaster.

The Wrong:

Raw Roulette: I understand the premise of the show, and I know it has really been forever since they have done one but overall I do not like it. I complain about TNA when they do stuff like this, so it is only fair that I do so here. The first major thing that annoyed me is that we barely saw the wheel spin. They had these backstage segments, some appearing to be prerecorded, some having technical difficulties, which I don't hold against them, but not seeing the wheel being spun the whole time took away from the gimmick, not really seeing it, you know? Secondly, I have a problem with giving away gimmick matches like this. There is no build. Yes they advertised "Raw Roulette," but I don't think that is as effective as a "Hardy vs. Umaga IN A CAGE FOR SURE" advertisement. I won't get that upset, they'll do a good rating, they will still do better buys than TNA but in the end it doesn't make it right, in my opinion anyway.

Jericho vs. JBL and Snitsky: Let's talk about the build to the JBL vs. Jericho match at the Rumble. First of all I will agree that making Jericho have to fight in a handicap match is a good idea, because he is the face and you get the feeling he may get screwed. Unfortunately the handicap match means jack shit in WWE because we get one every week. Having a big lug like Snitsky is good because he is big and scary, but having JBL out there I thought was a mistake. While the Rumble is the draw, and I don't think JBL will be adding a ton of buys, the idea of keeping him out of the ring until the Rumble is something I firmly believe, so I didn't like that. But none of this is really a wrong thing. We got no finish to the match, which is ok because they got rid of Snitsky and made this all about JBL and Jericho. They go to the floor and brawl, JBL kills Jericho with a bell shot and THEN tosses him into the steps. And I HATED this because with that level of attack, there should have been blood from Jericho. But we can't have blood because HUN-TOR got to have blood for his angle. I feel that this really hurt the angle. So then JBL gets what amounted to a noose when he grabs the cable and does a Stan Hansen on Jericho by choking him and dragging him around the arena…which lasted FOR…E…VER! It lasted so long that I got bored with it. JBL would drag him all the way to the light rigging, climb and then…walk away. You could almost see it in JBL's face, "Jeez…this isn't going over quite like I thought. Screw you guys, I'm going home." It wasn't horrible, but was far from great in my opinion.

The Ridiculous:

Foley and Hornswoggle vs. The Highlanders: All right then. Vince McMahon decided that the tough love for Hornswoggle would continue. He told the little guy that he would give him a chance to win the Rumble like he did. It was a Mr. McMahon's choice, which, aren't all matches McMahon's choice? He told Hornswoggle to get a tag team partner, and we saw wackiness with Hornswoggle looking for a partner, and in the end it was an EPIC FAIL as he came to the ring with a jobber dude that looked like George St. Pierre after he was thrown in the dryer. But before the match could begin, Mick Foley's music hit and he came out to be Hornswoggle's partner. Now, this is once again one of those times that they brought him back, NO hype and he was CLEARLY not in shape. Now we can argue about Foley's physical condition all we want, but he looked huge. He then went onto dominate the Highlanders and he and Hornswoggle have qualified for the Rumble. So Foley, not in shape and a part time wrestler gets to come in and dominate the Highlanders? Seriously? Really? And people wonder WHY no one gives a flying fuck about tag teams in WWE. Also, if McMahon had the choice and really wanted to fuck Hornswoggle, WHY would he give him the choice to pick a partner? Really, I mean, no thought at all put into it. Ugh.

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ECW on Sci-Fi!:

ECW 1.08.08:

The Right:

15-Minutes to Retain: After the two great tag encounters and the mixed tag match, which saw Yang and Moore pinning the champs twice, we FINALLY transitioned to a title match on ECW TV this week. For the match they dug back into the early days of the Morrison character and brought back 15-Minutes of Fame. With a twist. It was under Iron Man rules, the most decisions would determine the champions. I dug that, because it guaranteed 15-minutes of these guys wrestling, and considering how they have delivered thus far, I was all for it. As expected the heels got the first pin to go up 1-0 and make the faces battle back. The faces would tie it up with a little over 6-minues to go and then they played the drama game. Everyone worked hard, Yang was injured and fought back and FINALLY got the moonsault press, but was slow to cover due to injury. He would finally get the cover, but the bell rang before he could get a full count. This was another strong match between the four, some slight misses but overall another very good effort. These four have been the reason to watch ECW over the last few weeks. I just hope that they can get a match on the Rumble to show off what they can do on PPV. As JD said, a refreshing feud in a company that doesn't care about tag team wrestling. They can feud forever.

Colin Delaney: World's Greatest Jobber and…: Colin Delaney returned to ECW this week, bandaged and bruised, but he was back. Tazz broke down the match with Big Daddy V last week, and asked Colin how it went. "It wasn't as close as I had hoped." Tazz then mentioned he looked injured, to which Colin said, "It…it hurts everywhere." He would get the week off from ECW competition, instead he would get to face Mark Henry, and be destroyed again. He is a great jobber, he looks pasty, he is small, has no tan and sells like a beast. After this week people has started to make a connection of young Colin, and I think that they are right. He is looking to be the 2008 equivalent of Mikey Whipwreck. That actually isn't the worst thing ever, because it is interesting and fun. It could get tiresome very quickly, but if they star to change it up and get a little creative, I am all for it.

Dance Off: This was fine, I had no real problem with it because I would rather see Kelly and Layla dance than attempt to wrestle. Their matches have been epically bad, bad and they have almost hurt themselves on a few occasions. So if they want to book these hot chicks that can't wrestle to shake their ass then so be it. The expose annoyed me because I feel that they can use the time much better, but if the Kelly vs. Layla skirmish can learn from West Side Story and have a dance rumble to settle things, so be it. The new chick isn't bad either, and the crowd really hated her when she announced she would dance and even more that she announced herself the winner. But I have one question. Where is Kelly's boyfriends Balls Mahoney?

The purgatory:

The Further Adventures of Rebuilding Shelton Benjamin: Once again Shelton Benjamin got promo time on ECW TV this week to expand on his new character. More references to gold and the like, and he announced that he would be in the Royal Rumble. He also altered the deliver of the catchphrase and spoke it instead of shouting it, which worked much better I thought. I still want to see him more on a live mic, but he is doing better as the weeks go on and that is definitely a good thing. But as I mentioned last week, I strongly feel that he needs a mid-card feud, something to keep him occupied until he feuds with Punk and more in ring time on TV to continue working the new heel persona. If they keep doing this every week, it believe that it will get old fast. Drag out Dreamer, time for them to earn some cash.

Punk vs. Chavo: Part II: This week was Chavo's second chance at a shot at the ECW title, and again he had to make it through CM Punk if he was to challenge him for the title. While I liked last week's match and well enough and at the time didn't mind building towards this week, there would be a disturbing trend I discovered. I'll get to that momentarily. As for the match this week, let me say that it was not bad. I liked the methodical nature of Chavo's attack, but when all was said and done it was…boring. It was like a technical reading of what a pro-wrestling match would be, it read like stereo instructions. As I mentioned, the work was good but it just lacked, I had no emotional attachment. Again this is far from bad. But the main problem as I see it lies in the way that the title run of CM Punk is being booked. He isn't being booked as a dominant champion, he isn't even really being booked as the surviving baby face. He is looking like the luck as shit guy to have the title as of late. Let's check out the last month of CM Punk, shall we?

-12.16.07: Big Daddy V pins CM Punk in tag title match on the Armageddon PPV
-12.18.07: CM Punk defeated MVP via DQ
-1.01.07: CM Punk defeated Chavo Guerrero via CO
-1.08.07: CM Punk defeated Chavo Guerrero via DQ

First of all he drops a pin fall to Big Daddy V. Fine and dandy, except for the fact that they didn't do anything to pay it off. Punk just eats the pin, and there is no feud, no attempt at retribution, no proving himself by Punk. He's just the bitch. So they do the match with MVP, which we all knew wouldn't be a straight finish. But at the end Punk looked like the bitch again, due to the booking. Last week he faced Chavo and "escaped" with the CO win. Usually not that big of an issue, but when added to the other issues, it is. And then this week we run the DQ finish. Punk "escapes" again. I feel that when you add all of this up that Punk isn't being booked very well as the ECW Brand's champion, and that's a shame.

The Wrong:

NADDA:

The Ridiculous:

NADDA:

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FEEDBACK~!:
Reader Comment: Big fan of this column. A quick question to Larry though: You liked that Kennedy got his big win over HBK on free TV? Wouldn't that be one of those cases of NO BUYS~! (i.e shouldn't they have hyped up the rematch in order to sell some future PPV?) Not sure how this is different from, say, giving away a title match/change on TV if, as you say, it gives the superstar more national exposure.

My Response: As I explained, the win over HBK on free TV is very important. Kennedy lost on PPV, HBK almost NEVER takes a loss, especially on TV. The Kennedy win was high profile. If it was the first match I may have slightly different thoughts, but I thought this was an important follow up, showing great faith in Kennedy by giving him the win on TV.


Reader Comment: Senshi vs. Judas Mesias, the irony here being if it was a total squash I bet you would complain at the treatment of a former X-Division and Tag Team Champion. Senshi got in very little offense and the end result of Mesias getting over was accomplished. Now I am very disappointed with what TNA has done lately, I feel you were commenting on the match just so you could have something to say. Not everything TNA is crap (just everything outside the Women's division almost).

And…Similar Reader Comment: Why have Mesias destroy Senshi? What does that prove? Have him kill some jobber, but Senshi said he would put people over, not destroy his character. Senshi is a badass, and has been for a long time, so piss off with wanting to squash him, in all I think it made Mesias look better.

My Response: No, you see, Senshi is LEAVING the company. Hence, he no longer needs protected because he is no longer an investment for the company. As for Senshi being a "bad ass," he hasn't been shit for months but a jobber. Having him destroyed was the best way to go in my opinion to further build a guy that IS staying and that IS an investment in Judas Mesias.


Reader Comment: Total Nonstop Aggravation (to watch weekly). One step forward, three steps back. TNA: We Are No Buys. Whatever cliché you want to use, it's true. It's damn true. Might as well pack up the promotion, bring it back here to the old Nashville Fairgrounds and start from scratch---it can't get much worse (from a logic standpoint).

Logic Question: Why would Jim Cornette give Hall and Nash a tag team title shot for the PPV, when Hall no-showed the last PPV, hasn't been seen since and they had done nothing to earn the title shot?

Exactly my point.

And Torrie Wilson called---she wants her tights back, Kip.

My Response: "One step forward, three steps back" is a phrase I have used in relation to the company several times. And the reason that it is so frustrating is due to the fact that they have an extremely talented roster. They are loaded with talent, and it is sad to see it sit at an average of 27,000 buys and snake eyes (1.1) ratings wise.


Reader Comment: All things considered, I thought this was a unique offering by TNA, as the Gauntlet is their version of the Royal Rumble (one I like with the final match ending) and they clearly defined the titles while setting up all their top line ppv matches and even some of the minor ones like Rock N Rave/LAX, Booker/Roode, etc. I also I am just stunned by the overall improvement of Tomko as he dominated the promo segment and had some big time crowd support. The AJ stuff and other TNA nonsense was bleh, but with Raw doing their "concept show" the Raw Roulette, I thought TNA did a good job of selling a ppv actually while having a concept show.

My Response: Yeah, it wasn't a complete wash. We got wrestling, we got some PPV hype and that is good. But I don't think 4 gauntlets on one show are good, and really, they mean nothing because the PPV matches were already set. So now you have four #1 contenders for the titles, PLUS you have BG James, Petey Williams and Scott Steiner all holding title shots for TNA titles. They have completely confused things.

And I'm out of here!