Truth B Told 1.10.08: Welcome Back, Welcome Back, Welcome Baaaaack

Posted by Bayani Domingo on 01.10.2008

Welcome Back Mr. Low Ki. This week we take a look at returns and re-runs in the world of wrestling. Sometimes you get the red carpet rolled out, other times you get the hose. Yeah, there is a Lita joke in there somewhere.


Saturday night I was attending the ProWrestling Guerrilla show in Van Nuys. It was All-Star Weekend 6 and I was excited to see the 2nd installment of CIMA vs Danielson. That however was not to be as the Commissioner of Food and Beverage, Excalibur, announced that there would be many changes to the card. He announced that CIMA would not be facing Danielson and would now be facing Susumu Yokosuka. I was disappointed to be sure, but I knew that match would be good. Danielson was called to the ring and his opponent for his World Title match was about to be announced. Just then a familiar, yet not immediately recognizable and the entire crowd sat in silence seemingly grasping for some recollection of who the entrance music might belong to. Just then we saw a figure leap from behind the curtain and emerge.

His bald beige head was bowed low as he stalked from behind the curtain. The Cro-Magnon Cambodian Puerto Rican warrior known as Low Ki gave a fierce low grunt as he squinted his eyes, furrowed his brow and surveyed the gym. With a look that said both, "I will kill the next person that enters the ring" and "Did someone just cut one? I can smell it...it smells bad...who cut one....that's just fucked up, really...who did it?", Low Ki stood there and soaked in all of the shocked and excited cheers of the fans. Then with a low and primal growl that might have meant "Kill" in Puerto Rican, "Destroy" in Cambodian, or "OUCH, I just accidentally sat on a Woolly Mammoth tusk" in Cro-Magnon, he began his slow walk towards the ring. His knuckles just barely grazing the ground as he stalked ever close to the ring. Low Ki had made his return to PWG and chances were, someone was going to get kicked in their fuckin' face. Hard. Repeatedly.

I was kind of hinting that Low Ki might show up at ASW, but after the final changes to the card were announced a week before I gave up hope. His surprise appearence and win over Danielson was a complete shock to everyone. Sure PWG might have been able to sell another dozen or two tickets had they announced him prior to the show, but sometimes you don't do things just for the money, sometimes you do it because Pro Wrestling is about "anything can happen" and every once in a while it really can. Props to PWG for keeping it a surprise and judging by the crowd reaction it was the right move to make. Of course in PWG Low Ki had only made two appearances before and both were at All-Star Weekend 5, but he was still welcomed back with open arms. Any time you get a wrestlers back with that kind of talent you would think that the fans would be rushing to pat him on the back and give him a great big hug....then duck after he throws a kick dead at your melon. But remember that a comeback isn't just about the initial shock; it's also about the long run too. While everyone is happy to see Low Ki back to yabba dabba doo his thing, how will they feel in a few months, or a year? Is every comeback welcome back?

I knew that since Low Ki hadn't worked PWG much in the past that his return would be very possible and likely upon him "quitting" TNA. There were a lot of fresh match ups and he has a huge fan base out West. Now that Ki is in PWG, what about the next step for him? IWA:MS and JAPW are possibilities, as are overseas. But what about his old ‘double' stomping grounds and the place that made him a true Indy legend: Ring of Honor? I was curious to see how the fans might react if he came back since a lot of the fans feel that Low Ki choose to leave and that he had ‘attitude problems' especially when it came to doing the job. My gut told me that RoH fans would be happy to have any of their "Forefathers" back in the fold, especially now that most of them were in TNA. But I figured I should get a second opinion. Of course there is only one place to go to when you need to have your finger on the pulse of RoH: Ari Bernstein.

I think that Low Ki will always have a place in ROH. He was the standard bearer for pretty much the first year of the company. He had some tremendous matches, made the fans really care about him and his success and everyone, EVERYONE loved when he would kick the hell out of someone. Knocking out Prince Nana? Loved that Nana got what was coming to him, even before Nana became the vile, shrimp cocktail leader of The Embassy whose actions oozed heat. Special K getting a spanking via Ki's kicks of death at Death Before Dishonor I? The fans roared their approval and literally wanted Ki to behead those guys. Ki has always enjoyed a wealth of popularity, even when he turned heel and became "Gangsta Ki" the fans I think were still very much in awe of his talent and the intensity he brought to the ring....

...Still, even though Gabe has said repeatedly that Ki will never appear for ROH again, the ROH fans would accept him back in a heartbeat. They were clamoring for him to return back at Death Before Dishonor IV, chanting his name over and over when Homicide had his three wishes. They exploded in noise when Homicide asked for the return of Low Ki and booed ferociously when Jim Cornette told Homicide and the crowd that it wouldn't happen. So would the fans want him back and would they accept him back? Absolutely. And I personally want him back in ROH, because I was and am such a huge fan of his and I know that he could put on some tremendous matches once again for them.

I figured as much, deep down inside guys like Low Ki, Samoa Joe, Christopher Daniels, Homicide, and Danielson will always have a place in RoH. My guess is if Low Ki came back to RoH he would be hailed as a returning hero, whether or not Gabe is willing to take him back is something else all together. Unlike Vince McMahon who really "Never says Never" you really don't know with Gabe. I think there is money to be made with a Low Ki return as well as a huge boost to a lot of old school RoH fans, but then again I guess there is sometimes more to the Wrestling Business than just making a few extra bucks. Wait, did I just type that? My gut tells me that Low Ki will eventually make a return to RoH, but not any time soon. Sometimes egos are bigger than the business and sometimes wrestling is the business of egos. Let's just hope cooler heads prevail and the two sides realize just how much they could help each other.

When I talk about the longevity of a comeback I'm directly referring to the Y2J comeback where Chris Jericho was supposed to "save us". That lasted about 3 weeks. Now he's trying to save his place on the roster by not looking like a chump against JBL. What really pisses me off about this program is that Jericho looks like a chump for only getting one title match and then losing it by DQ and being now relegated to wrestling a retired wrestler and current announcer. What else pisses me off about this is that JBL's appeal as a wrestler was more for his mic skills than his wrestling skills. The "e" did a great job by finding him a position to emphasize his weaknesses and showcase his verbal abilities, now they are putting him back in the ring after he's in even worse physical shape and older than he was before. He used to get nearly an hour of mic time on Smackdown each week, now he'll get maybe 5 minutes on RAW. Jericho has gone from the Main Event to the mid-card and although he is still popular with the fans, he's now getting mid-card pops from the crowd. Once Cena and Lashley return it will be even more evident where he fits in the pecking order. Jericho is still a sight for sore eyes, but it seems like someone decided they'd rather see him in the mid-card instead.

I remember the great reaction Alex Shelley got after he came back for the '07 Battle of Los Angeles. The fans were grateful for even a few days of his presence, not at all bitter that he left for the mixed bag that is TNA. Every time a wrestler left for TNA it seemed that fans were chanting "Please Don't Go", almost a warning of what the fans knew was in store for them. But when a wrestler was leaving for the "e", they would chant "Thanks you....*fill in the blank*". it seems a bit odd that very few people got the "You Sold Out" chant in the bigger Indies, I actually can't recall that breaking out in PWG, but I wasn't sure about RoH. Ari mentioned that he can recall only two small incidences of it happening in RoH and both times it was a very small minority of fans for a very short period of time after James Gibson and Jimmy Yang's final matches. Both chants apparently quickly died out. I was curious as to why RoH fans who seem to be the "Indy Elitists" weren't as pissed off at wrestlers like Punk or Cabana for leaving them and clearly becoming a shell of what they once were. Ari had this to say:

I think that for the most part, ROH fans don't react as negatively when a wrestler goes to WWE / developmental is because there is the subconscious understanding that there really isn't anything that can be done to stop it from happening. If the "E" wants a wrestler or a wrestler wants to leave for the E, the disparity in money and the opportunity for glory as so huge that I think most fans understand that the wrestler is gig to leave nine out of ten times...because the goal for so long was to make it to the E and when you get that chance, you almost have no choice but to take it. So ROH fans accept this far quicker and with less anger than you might expect.

I totally buy that. Basically everyone knows that no matter who you are, where you wrestler, or what you watched growing up that the WWE is the standard bearer when it comes to wrestling. Now remember that not everyone chooses to either go to the "e" or stay in the "e", but for the most part unless you're a Samoa Joe, Kurt Angle, RVD, Christian, Booker T, or Bryan Danielson, the WWE is your "Dream job". I guess the belief is that if you can make a name for yourself in the WWE than maybe it's worth not being able to live up to the name you made for yourself in the Indies. I'm sure Paul London, Brian Kendrick, Jamie Noble, and CM Punk all get together every once in a while and reminisce about 20 minute matches and pine for their old finishing moves. Still, you'd be an idiot to think that if the average Indy wrestler got a call from Johnny Ace to hop a plane to Stamford, they wouldn't be packing their bags and portioning their liquids and gels into 3 oz or less containers. Seriously, I don't want to be at an airport when Bobby Dempsey is being given a cavity search for sneaking on a bottle of Pantene Pro-V.

I knew that much has been said of Teddy Hart and his massive ego, but I was just thinking about how fans are calling him an idiot for leaving OVW before he was called up to the main roster. But how different is his situation from Austin Aries or Frankie Kazarian? Didn't both of them decide to jump ship when they decided they weren't being used right or didn't like the gimmick or the direction they were given in the ring? I know we all vilify Teddy for being an egoist and a delusional megalomaniac, but I personally like the guy. I've met him twice and each time I see him he's talking with fans and being a very likable guy. I've seen Kaz and Aries at plenty of PWG shows in the past two years and I have never been able to meet either one. Hey, maybe I just didn't catch them at an opportune time, but I'm just saying. RoH welcomed Aries back as a conquering hero and even now Kaz is getting a nice little push in TNA, but poor Teddy Hart can't seem to get a break in any of the big Indy feds. Okay, so he really IS an egoist, it doesn't mean his name wouldn't sell a few more tickets and DVD's right? Hell, he might be the one sure fire person to get Nigel back over as an undisputed babyface. Yeah, I'm sure Gabe has Teddy on speed dial....#7, right after Low Ki at #6. *insert eye roll here*

I think wrestling fans are by nature very nostalgic. If you grew up watching RoH, you can't help but get a bit melancholy reading up on how Samoa Joe, Homicide, and AJ are being used now. You watch ECW and wonder who that guy is that calls himself CM Punk because the man who took Samoa Joe to the limit in a solid hour would have no problem dispatching a lower mid-card cruiserweight like Chavo Guerrero or The Miz. Nostalgia is the reason why so many people were pinning their hopes on a Chris Jericho WWE title run and not realizing how much more probably a Chris Jericho IC title run was. Its the reason why some people tuned into RAW's 15th anniversary hoping to catch even a glimpse of "The Great One". Really kids, he's not coming back, no matter how hard we wish. Even if he did, chances are he'd be feuding with Santino over his review of "Southland Tales" anyways. Sometimes a comeback isn't all it's cracked up to be, because sometimes it's better to just stop looking in the rear view mirror. Especially when it contains a feud with Black Reign. Sorry Kaz.

The Truth

I can't imagine Low Ki wouldn't be welcomed by any Indy or even Japanese fed based on his reputation alone. At least by the fans. Time will tell if Gabe gets to the point where he finally decides the rewards outweigh the risks. Teddy Hart...well as talented as I still think he is, I think he has burned 5 too many bridges to be let back into a lot of feds. Still, the man does make a living. I'm disappointed not in Chris Jericho, but in the bookers. It was a classic bait and switch as his momentum was effectively killed after his one match against Orton. High hopes and expectations were met with mid-card booking and that old familiar glass ceiling. Maybe things will change, but remember, Cena is on his way back, as is Lashley. Let's just hope Jericho enjoys working Tuesdays. We all love a "comeback". Like I said before, it's only second nature for wrestling fans to look back fondly on the past accomplishments and glories of wrestlers we come to love, but you just can't relive the past. Oh, it doesn't mean comebacks can't be successful. I seem to remember a certain Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair, and even now Austin Aries doing well upon their triumphant returns, but its often more miss than hit. Still, we can't help cheering when that familiar entrance music hits. It's in our nature. We're wrestling fans, our memories are long term, too bad the booking isn't.

Coming Up Short

The Ultimate X match was the "Bread and Butter" of the X-Division. One of the few innovations TNA had that set it apart from the "e" and something they always managed to do well, until last Sunday. Team 3D used a ladder to get the X-Title and made the entire match a joke. If it wasn't for Johnny Devine's death wish the match would have been total crap, even with 3 of the best workers in the entire division in the match. To me it seems like whoever is booking this crap is trying to erase everything that made TNA special and now use it to get over storylines and crappy angles rather than using it to make great matches. Something TNA and the X-Division in particular, had always been known for. Well I hope Russo or Jarrett or Mantel or whoever is happy because not only are they pissing away the legacy they used to have, but they're coming up far short of the expectations the fans have of any future legacy. Someone please go and find the "real TNA" and send me an e-mail when they find it.

6 Degrees of…



I'm not sure who I'm more scared of here. Low Ki being unleashed on an unsuspecting Indy world waiting to dish out vicious kicks and stomps to the check and head region of poor unprepared Indy wrestlers. Or…



Britney Spears. Just…Britney being Britney. There was never a day that I thought I'd ever rather have Low Ki watch my kids rather than Britney Spears. *GRUNT* "Your kid wouldn't go to bed…so I kicked him in the head. He'll probably wake up eventually….maybe" *GRUNT* I guess that beats, "Hey Y'all, your kid wanted to stay up to say goodnight to you before I put him to bed and stuff…so I gave him one of my Red bulls. He's in the backyard right now playing 4 square by himself…okay…later Y'all". So 6 degreees, get to it….or not…that's also apparently been the most popular choice in '08. The "not" part.

Whatchu talkin' bout readers?

Well now that Dragon Gate is possibly running in LA this year I guess I really should be saving my money for streamers instead of a plane ticket to Philly:

Ah can't make it? too bad, now who should I take ? hmmm The boss man Larry Csonka? Nah, that would ruin his podcast gimmick, plus I'd feel obligated to wear a tie or something with the boss around. Ari? Nah, he's probably the SOB who outbid me for the front row. Ask 411 wrestling's own Steve Cook? I think I'd rather marry Chris Benoit. I GOT IT. I'll just save it, so that fat fuck Bobby Dempsey has somewhere to put all his ham sandwiches. I'll be sure to check back before PPV time just to make sure, and to get sign ideas. So far all I've got is "Kevin Steen is peachy keen". As far as bitchy women go here is how that conversation would have went with me in your place. bitch "I got cancer so I'm mad at the world and taking it out on you blah blah blah" Me "Hey you know what kills more people than cancer?" bitch "What?" Me " I do. Now fuck off!" Remember B keep it real, damn real

B M PUNK

You're probably going to need two seats to fit that sammich in. Bobby's favorite sammich of all time is the "Sandwich Sandwich". That's a Sandwich between two sandwiches. Tasty. I'll start thinking up some sign ideas, but off the top of my head I have "Jack Evans and Ruckus go to White Castle…then crash their car", "Julius Smokes, Necro Tokes", "Dempsey Fears Atkins", "Hagadorn's a 3" Hungman", and "Steen Came, Steen Saw, Steen had a Chili Dog".

See, now if the rest of you lazy bastards would just send in some pics I wouldn't have to do this all myself:

i just sent in some pics of great Japanese wrestlers (with wrestling footage attached)



attached is a pic of ayako hamada (who has 2 MOTYC's for 2007)
her vs aja kong
part1:
part2:

her vs meiko satomura
part1:
part2:

this girl, on the other hand, is former wcw women's cruiserweight champ
toshie uematsu

her matches are as follows (under the hair spiked heel gimmick:
partnering with double kong
part1:
part2:
part3:

partnering with ran yuyu
part1:
part2:

just search for "toshie uematsu" on youtube and you'll see more of her
enjoy

I'm somewhat familiar with Joshi and I knew about Hamada already. Uematsu is new to me. I also recently discovered "The Sadistic Princess" Apple Miyuki. It's funny how in Japan a woman can be fairly attractive and a great wrestler, but to get on TV in the states you don't have to be able to string together two moves that don't include "punch, kick" so long as when someone mentions you a fan would have the following somewhere in their description, "…but, I'd totally hit that".

6 Degrees Results

Maybe it is time to retire 6DO?

Left Overs…

How orange was Kennedy on RAW? I'm hoping they put Big Daddy V in a blue jumper, with matching face paint and have Kennedy tag with him and roll him up every matching going, "OOMPA LOOMPA DOOMPADEE DOO ….I got a big fat black guy for you".

Holy shit...a WWE Quinceañera? Would anyone else be a little concerned if the lucky girl asked for Randy Orton to be the host. Imagine Randy showing up with a Pinata filled with his own feces, or worse yet "Macho Man" Randy Savage. "Dig it…don't worry kid, I gave lil' Steph the same gift on her 15th birthday…oooooh…yeeeeeah!!"

Trading Places match? Who else was hoping it would end up being "Naked" Mideon vs Mickie James?

So you know how that "tasteless" magazine Hustler decided to print naked pictures of Nancy "Woman" Benoit? Well…I might have gotten a subscription from them last year as a gift from my girl and I might….have already gotten the advanced copy sent to me already two weeks ago. And I might…have already seen said pics. They were of her when she was young and before she was in the wrestling biz. Not lewd at all just some naked frontal pics. The only qualm I have is that she has some serious…SERIOUS tan lines going on. I guess back in the 80's it was cool to have a super dark tan and not worry about sunning topless. Her torso looked like Ron Killing's face if you just surprised him with something he was really happy about

Eric Young lost the Drinking Championship to James Storm on the TNA PPV. Amazing, I wonder if they'll make this a 24/7 title like the old Hardcore one in the "f". I'd love to see a vignette where Young comes knocking on Storm's door at 3 am on a Tuesday night wanting a rematch at the "Blue Oyster Bar" he heard about from SilverDust. Anyone else think this is all a booking tool to get Scott Hall back on the roster?

The animators of "Mucha Lucha" may be holding live shows with wrestlers based on the characters from the show. The creators have already contacted Petey Williams to play the part of "Snow Pea".

Btw: OG American Gladiators > Ninja Warrior > Elementary School Dodge ball (Soak ‘em) > New American Gladiators. Deal with it.

I can only assume Charlie Haas got wind of this and is openly lobbying for the part of Ricochet on RAW.

AJ chooses Kurt and Karen over Christian in the end. I guess he had no choice since he was backed into a corner. I mean, isn't that what you get when you put two angles together?

So the WWE only tests for weed once a year as part of their wellness policy. You can tell which week that is because Cranberry Juice and Orbitz gum. *Yeah…you potheads know what I'm talkin' about*

Asian Hotness of the Week



Can I throw a load in with yours? Or...throw you my load?

So the "Flatliner" and "Downward Spiral" is now the "Mic Check" when Mr. Kennedy does it? That is a retarded name. I wish people would stop naming moves after parts of their gimmick or name and just name it something that makes sense. I understand the "Batista Bomb" since "Sitdown Powerbomb" is kind of long, even the 6-1-9 since there really isn't time to say, "Rope assisted kick to the face". But "Mic Check"?? Shit, what next? Is Kane going to change his finisher to the "Benoit Slam"?

Val Venis and Kane are backing Ron Paul for president?? If I was Ron I wouldn't want a soulless killer like Kane behind me…actually I'd like a male porn star behind me even less. "Helllloooo Ronny".

I've been saving this joke because I'm thinking it might be tasteless…even for me: I wonder if Luger can still make a living doing appearances and wrestling even though he may not be able to fully walk again? I mean….he was always known for working ‘stiff'.

PWG's All-Star Weekend 6: Left Overs

For full results of the Friday and Saturday shows you can CLICK HERE. It was a very good weekend of wrestling that had a lot of good matches and two great ones. Every match was at least a solid **1/2. Plus the Low Ki surprise title win just made up for the huge shuffle of matches on night 1.

In case anyone is curious the Top 5 Matches of the weekend: #1. CIMA vs Bryan Danielson, #2. CIMA vs Susumu Yokosuka, #3. Danielson vs Low Ki, #4. MO'z vs Dynasty, #5. Kingston/Claudio/Tornado vs Hero/Necro/Candice

Super Dragon was announced as 200 lbs. I think the mic might have malfunctioned and cut off between "Two Hundred" and "Pounds", because there should have been a "70" in there somewhere. I am now officially calling him Super "Sized" Dragon. If he reads that however, he will f'n kill me…so don't tell.

Roderick Strong did everything short of leave a bible by Jack Evan's body this weekend.

Making his PWG return, Alex Koslov, is officially off the Mexican "wellness program". That is a cocktail of supplements/steroids/and Carne Asada. You know you've made it when you can afford matching shiny pleather wrist bands to go with your tights. Fuck the BMW and Blackberry, get yourself some pleather wrist bands.

After the match CIMA announced that "maybe" Dragon Gate will do a full show in Los Angeles this year. Rumors have it that it will be in July. Expect to see some local PWG talent on the card as well. I'm hoping to see BxB Hulk come out with his dancing Harajuku girls. In response I bet Super Dragon comes out with his dancing Fry Guys and Mayor McCheese. *He's going to seriously kill me…Super Dragon looks like a Black Grimace but angrier*

"The Dynasty" of Joey Ryan and Scott Lost got pinfalls over the MO'z and AoTF this weekend on their way to their tag title match later this month. They are riding a tidal wave of momentum and have really captured the magic they had back when they were the "X-Foundation". Since it appears Joey Ryan has refused to shave or cut any hair till he wins another title it will be difficult to any team to beat the man as now he can claim that "He's pulling my hair" during any move what so ever. Headlock, chinlock, hip toss, Irish Whip, you name it. The man is like a walking Furby.

Candice Michelle was at Night 1. Apparently she is being trained by TJ Perkins while rehabbing. In real life she seems to be a very gracious and genuine person, taking pictures with all the fans and really enjoying the show and getting into it. It almost made me feel bad for laughing when I saw her eat it in that match on RAW when she got hurt. But I knew she'd be alright, that can't be the hardest impact she's taken to her face since she signed with the "e" right?

I love how AoTF can't decide if they want to be "Face" or "Heel" in PWG. Trying to get us to clap for them one minute, then Jimmy Jacobs flipping us off after they lost on Night one. They're like that ex who can't decide if you're the biggest asshole she's ever dated, or wants you to come over because she just made brownies and wants to "hang out"and watch a movie since she's had it with "stupid boys". Only Jimmy never whisped "I'm not wearing any panties" to you while you're half way through "Hitch". Now Tyler Black on the other hand…

People just want to see Necro Butcher punch someone in the face like 20 times. They don't care why they are in a match, they don't care what other moves happen, they don't care who wins, they just want to see Necro punch a muthafucka in the face….in the FACE!!

So I take a piss break during the Dragon/TARO match and I open the door to go down the hallway and Necro Butcher scares the bejesus out of me while he's standing at the door and peaking through the crack. We both jump back and he goes, "oh no, kayfabe, kayfabe, I'm not watching, you didn't see this". Then proceeds to keep watching through the crack for the rest of the match. I found that pretty funny, like somehow I was going to turn to him and say, "how cold you Necro…now I don't believe in anything anymore, not you, not Santa Claus, not even Kelly Kelly's boobs being real….nooooooooooo!!" Actually I'm surprised I startled him and he came up with that little quip so quickly, I figured if there was ever a time I would open a door and accidentally startle Necro Butcher more than likely it would end up with him punching me straight in the face on instinct.

No one really knew Low Ki was going to show up at ASW, let alone win the Title. I think people speculated, in fact a lot of people speculated, but everyone figured it wouldn't make sense to have a surprise guest show up who people might pay to see. I was wrong. I guess we can chalk this up to, "anything can happen, better buy a ticket just in case". What I think is funny is that I saw people walking in during the second match expecting the Scorpio Sky vs Ronin match to be up first. I can't imagine saying to myself, "you know, Bell time is 8 pm…it's almost 7:30, eh, we can miss the curtain jerk match and we got time for a BK Big Fish, besides…it's the first match". Sorry ‘bout your damn luck kids.

I've really been impressed with how much Karl "Machin Gun" Anderson and Koslov improved over the past year, as was I pleasantly surprised with how much I enjoyed Eddie Kingston (your loss RoH) and the solidness of the Sky/Ronin match. But the real surprise has to be The Youngbucks being able to hang with the Muscle Outlaw'z and Age of the Fall without any major slip ups or problems. They had the biggest weekend in their professional careers last weekend facing the best competition they may ever face in the RoH and Dragon Gate tag champions. All this from a couple of kids who come out to "MMMbop", wrestle like the pre-Brood Hardy Boyz. And dress like they bought ever old outfit Marty Jannetty ever owned and sewed them up together. Neon Green tassels with white belts and Zebra skin tights…it's like wrestling a half dozen prostitutes.

Rumors are true, Human Tornado beat the shit out of Candice LaRae in the ring and then proceeded to try to pull out his dick and urinate on her before Chris Hero made the save. If Human Tornado come out to "I want to Piss On You" next show I don't know what to think. Hell, I'll even bring a ghetto blaster with that tape in the deck just in case he needs it.


Pimpin' In High Places

If Pimpin' ain't easy…you ain't doing it right:

Ask 411 answers another boat load of questions this week. Well a small boat. Maybe a raft…

Jules gives you his Top 10 RAW moments. My favorite part was when Eddie Murphy said the word "Fuck". I think it happened a few times actually.

Evo Scheme brings you Nidia. The column will take you longer to read than her career actually lasted.

LaRRRRy brings you his 4 R's. He seemed to enjoy the women's title match, maybe too much. The past few days he's been handing out "Backfists" for no apparent reason. Poor JT never saw it coming, I guess he'll never be late for WoTW again.

HH brings you all the stuff you missed last week since you were too drunk or hung over to realize you were rooting for Ric Flair to win for 10 mins while watching Iron Chef America by mistake. Don't worry, Chef Batali pulled the apron for the win anyways.

CoH reviews all the happenings and fall out from Final Battle. Even his take on Panic! at the Disco winning the tag titles. I wonder if they'll start selling replica belts now at "Hot Topic"? He also SHOOTS on all the Nigel-haters. To be fair Nigel IS hurt a lot, he's quickly becoming the "Edge" of RoH. Only without all the sleeping with his friends' women Kayfabe or not. Then again if reports come out that he gave Lacey his "Tower of London" while Jimmy was out for a few months I'm not going be surprised.

Shimmy on over to AC's Top 50 WWE matches of 2007. I can remember about 15…I'm assuming he had to actually read something Slimmer or Small wrote to find the last 5 or 6. Making him the 3rd person to read them.

Chrissy Lansdell features some Tag Team moves with D-Dubya riding shotgun. There is a gay joke in there somewhere. But I can't narrow it down to the best one. I was thinking of actually scanning those pics of Nancy and sending them to Lansdell so he could double his "Hit count". But then I'm not sure half a dozen people are willing to click the link anyways.

Sammy features Ki vs Generico on the IMC, this time at the TPI. Next time they meet will be this month in PWG for the World Title. I predict a **** match, but a ½* promo. I bet Generico will be the chatty one. OLE!!

Got a wedding to go to this weekend. I usually would be hoping and praying for an "open bar" but chances are I'll be the DD. Oh well, I guess there is nothing to do but watch my carpool mates get drunk and convince them that the Tacos they ordered at 2 am really DID cost $20.

Till then, the Truth will set you free.

-B