The Shimmy 1.21.08: The Royal Rumble Cheat Sheet and Analysis
Posted by Andy Clark on 01.21.2008
For the third year in a row The Shimmy breaks down the superstars that will be competing in the Royal Rumble match. What are their strenghts, their weaknesses? Who can they trust? And what trends can be predicted for the big match? Click the link to find out!
Welcome to the big Royal Rumble edition of The Shimmy. For the third year in a row I bring you your kayfabe Royal Rumble cheat sheet, breaking down the men that will be competing for a championship match at WrestleMania and predicting some of the traditional Royal Rumble trends. Since WWE hasn't finished announcing all of the Royal Rumble participants I went ahead and assumed the addition of a few superstars. The most notable of those assumptions is Triple H who will not be confirmed until his Qualifying Match tonight on Raw. I hope this look at the Rumble participants will help get you suitably pumped for what is arguably the second most anticipated wrestling event of the year.
Analysis: Since Triple H won't even be confirmed until tonight the analysis here is pretty tough. He obviously has positive experience going in his favor having won the 2002 Rumble coming off a torn quad. This year he will probably be the favorite to win so he can extract some revenge on Randy Orton, but he also has Mr. McMahon working against him. As Stone Cold Steve Austin in 1999 and Shawn Michaels in 2006 proved, Mr. McMahon is not an enemy you want to have in the Royal Rumble. There are also a bunch of monsters in this year's Rumble that Vinnie Mac could easily use to eliminate the Game.
Potential WrestleMania Opponents: Edge, Batista, Randy Orton, Ric Flair, Jeff Hardy, Shawn Michaels, Mr. Kennedy, Umaga, Kane, Mick Foley, The Great Khali
Potential Enemies: Big Daddy V, Mark Henry, Batista, Mr. Kennedy, Triple H, The Great Khali, Mick Foley, Shawn Michaels, Snitsky
Potential Allies: Kane, Batista
Former Allies: Big Daddy V
Analysis: Undertaker was very impressive winning last year's Royal Rumble Match and he will no doubt want to get a shot at Edge at WrestleMania. There are three problems for Undertaker though: 1) Edge. Edge went out of his way to make sure Taker didn't win the Beat the Clock Challenge, I would imagine he would do anything in his power to keep Taker from winning the Rumble as well; 2) Batista. Batista has proven to be one of Undertaker's toughest rivals and you can bet that Batista will be looking to not only win the Rumble for the second time in his career but to eliminate Undertaker as well; 3) Luck of the draw. In Taker's two most successful years 2003 and 2007 he entered the Rumble at No. 30. What are the odds that the Deadman would pick up that good of a number yet again? All in all Taker will probably be seen as a favorite but he has a few factors working against him. I suppose you could also throw in his current feud with Big Daddy V but Taker has eliminated bigger men in the Royal Rumble before.
Batista
Rumble Experience: 2003, 2005 (winner)
Potential WrestleMania Opponents: Randy Orton, Triple H, Undertaker, Umaga, Big Daddy V, Ric Flair
Potential Enemies: Undertaker, The Great Khali, Mark Henry, Mr. Kennedy, Finlay, Mick Foley, Shelton Benjamin, Shawn Michaels, Kane, John Morrison
Potential Allies: Triple H, Undertaker
Former Allies: none
Analysis: Batista's only two Rumble appearances have been successful as he made it into the Final Four in 2003 and won the whole thing in 2005. Batista has been very motivated lately and that could carry over here. Like Undertaker, Batista has Edge to worry about as well as his rivalry with the Deadman, but Batista may also be helped out by wandering goals. The Animal may be just as content going after Randy Orton's WWE Title on Raw as he would Edge's World Heavyweight Title on SmackDown. This may lessen the target on his chest as it relates to the Rated Rmy. It'll be interesting to see how Batista interacts with fellow Evolution teammate Triple H should they cross paths. In a match like this Batista is helped by having the strength and power to eliminate multiple superstars but his size may also limit his stamina. Batista should hope for a number in the twenties if he really wants a shot.
Shelton Benjamin
Rumble Experience: 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007
Potential WrestleMania Opponents: CM Punk
Potential Enemies: Triple H, Big Daddy V, John Morrison, Batista, Carlito, Shawn Michaels, Snitsky
Potential Allies: John Morrison, The Miz
Former Allies: none
Analysis: The "Gold Standard" in ECW has wanted an opportunity at championship gold and here is his first chance. Benjamin is incredibly athletic and has the conditioning to last in the ring for a long time. Benjamin's best asset, though, is his ability to skin the cat like no other. How can we forget his coming within an inch or two of the ground last year only for him to hold on. Shelton has looked incredibly motivated and dominant on ECW but he has also gone months without real competition which may hurt him a bit. He should also be wary of trying any high risk offense because that normally ends up badly in a match like this. Shelton Benjamin has all the tools to succeed in this match he just needs to avoid dumb decisions.
Mr. Kennedy
Rumble Experience: none
Potential WrestleMania Opponents: Jeff Hardy, Undertaker, Rey Mysterio, CM Punk, Shawn Michaels, Chris Jericho
Analysis: Mr. Kennedy is a real dark horse candidate. This is Kennedy's first Royal Rumble and it's safe to assume that he wants to make the most of it. If not for an unfortunate injury Kennedy would still be Mr. Money in the Bank and have a guaranteed title shot at WrestleMania already in hand and you've got to believe that Kennedy wants the opportunity to win that shot back. He has been on a role lately, even picking up a clean victory over Shawn Michaels. Could Kennedy win his first Royal Rumble much like he won his first Money in the Bank Ladder Match?
Hornswoggle
Rumble Experience: none
Potential WrestleMania Opponents: Randy Orton, Mr. McMahon, The Great Khali, Big Show, Finlay, Umaga, Chavo Guerrero
Potential Enemies: The Great Khali, Jamie Noble, Umaga, Snitsky, Carlito, Mr. Kennedy
Analysis: Hornswoggle will be without a doubt the smallest competitor in Royal Rumble history but that may not be a bad thing. Sure he runs the risk of being chucked over the top rope pretty easily but he'd have to be caught first. If worse comes to worse he could always just hide under the ring for most of the match, it worked for Jerry Lawler. Horny also benefits from having Finlay in the Rumble, specifically to watch out for the little guy. It'll be interesting to see if he continues his relationship with Mick Foley in this match as well. The only other time a McMahon has entered the Rumble they won (Mr. McMahon in 1999) so at the very least Hornswoggle has a winning legacy behind him.
Umaga
Rumble Experience: none
Potential WrestleMania Opponents: Rey Mysterio, Batista, Undertaker, CM Punk, Big Daddy V
Potential Enemies: Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Mick Foley, Hornswoggle, Finlay, Big Daddy V, Santino Marella, Carlito, Kane
Potential Allies: Snitsky, Mr. Kennedy
Former Allies: The Great Khali, Carlito
Analysis: This is the kind of match that Umaga could be a real force in. This is his first Royal Rumble Match and he could prove to be a real wrecking ball. Umaga benefits from having the size and strength of a superheavyweight but also the conditioning to make it for long stretches of time. Umaga with the chance to choose a championship match at WrestleMania is a scary proposition. While Umaga has been on quite a losing streak as of late this could be his big opportunity to break out and secure a championship match at the biggest show of the year.
Potential WrestleMania Opponents: CM Punk, Umaga, Undertaker, Kane, Batista
Potential Enemies: Undertaker, Kane, Triple H, The Great Khali, Umaga
Potential Allies: Mark Henry
Former Allies: Undertaker, Snitsky
Analysis: As you can see Big Daddy V has participated in many Royal Rumble Matches before, however none of those times has come under the guidance of Matt Striker. Every year we wonder just who will be able to eliminate the big man and every year someone manages to do so. Since Big Daddy V has fallen under the tutelage of Matt Striker, though, he has been a dominant force in both ECW and SmackDown. BDV will not only have Matt Striker in his corner cheering him on and shouting instructions but he will also have the benefit of his tag team partner Mark Henry. Together the two of them could be an unstoppable force, although he could experience some issues if Henry decides he wants the top spot. We have seen tag teams disintegrate in the Rumble before and Striker is going to have to be ready to separate the two goliaths should they come to blows. Big Daddy V will also need to be careful of Undertaker. In retrospect it was probably not a good idea to piss off the Deadman in the weeks leading up to the Rumble.
Potential WrestleMania Opponents: Randy Orton, Triple H, Jeff Hardy, Chris Jericho, JBL, Ric Flair, Mr. Kennedy, Edge, Undertaker
Potential Enemies: Mr. Kennedy, Umaga, Carlito, Undertaker, Kane, The Great Khali, Batista, Mick Foley
Potential Allies: Triple H, Hornswoggle
Former Allies: Kane, Mick Foley
Analysis: Shawn Michaels is probably the most successful Royal Rumble competitor of all time, second perhaps only to Stone Cold Steve Austin. He's won the Rumble twice, once lasting all the way from No. 1 (albeit in an abbreviated Rumble format) and he's eliminated good friends to win. Last year he battled Undertaker for eight minutes after 28 men had already been eliminated in an incredibly losing effort. Michaels has shown that he can step up for the Rumble and he no doubt wants to prove that he can do it one more time. The only thing to worry about is time. Does Michaels still have the stamina to last for long periods of time? Can he still skin the cat like he did in 1995? Does he have the competitive edge to take out his best friend like he did in 1996? What if it comes down to him and Triple H? What then? How are Michaels' knees? Was Mr. Kennedy right, has time really passed HBK by? I don't think it has but I also think Michaels needs to answer the critics here. And don't forget about Kennedy himself. Kennedy would love nothing more than to be the one that eliminated Michaels from the Rumble. Does the Showstoppa have one more great Royal Rumble run in him?
Finlay
Rumble Experience: 2007
Potential WrestleMania Opponents: Randy Orton, Umaga, The Great Khali, Mr. McMahon, Hornswoggle, Mick Foley
Potential Enemies: The Great Khali, Umaga, Sntisky, Mr. Kennedy, Kane, Batista, Jamie Noble, Carlito
Potential Allies: Hornswoggle, Mick Foley
Former Allies: Mr. Kennedy, Umaga
Analysis: As JBL used to always say on commentary, Finlay has wanted to be a World Champion his entire life. Well, he has the chance to fight for a championship opportunity here. Last year Finaly started off at No. 2 and lasted over a half hour before being eliminated by eventual runner-up Shawn Michaels. Despite his age Finlay has proven that he is still tough enough to hang with even the baddest of the bad. Unfortunately Finlay may be a bit distracted this year. While I'm sure Finlay would love the opportunity to win the Rumble, his primary goal is to protect Hornswoggle. Not only that but he has an ongoing feud with The Great Khali, not the best guy to have angry at you in the Rumble. In fact, Finlay and Khali are scheduled to meet in a Belfast Brawl this Friday night on SmackDown. Despite that being Finlay's specialty the match should still take a tremendous toll on him just two days before the Rumble. If Finlay is lucky he will get a late entry into the Rumble and Hornswoggle will have already been eliminated, and hopefully Khali as well. Otherwise it could be a very long night for the Irishman.
Mick Foley
Rumble Experience: 1997, 1998, 2003
Potential WrestleMania Opponents: Mr. McMahon, Undertaker, Edge, Finlay, Ric Flair, Randy Orton, CM Punk, Big Daddy V, John Morrison
Former Allies: Kane, Hardcore Holly, John Morrison
Analysis: And here is the comeback story of the Rumble. Foley's last Rumble appearance in 2003 was the first time Foley had come back to wrestle in three years. While that Rumble appearance switched Foley from being retired to only semi-retired Mick hasn't had too many wins over the last five years. With rumors of 2008 being Foley's last year of in ring competition this could be his last shot at a big WrestleMania payday. Foley has a shot at the WWE Title back in July at Vengeance: Night of Champions and looked good despite taking the pinfall. If Foley is really motivated he could shock some people here. We all know Foley can take a beating so if there is anyone that is equipped to handle the monsters in this Rumble (The Great Khali, Umaga, Snitsky, Big Daddy V, Mark Henry, Undertaker, Batista, Kane) it's Foley. Obviously Foley's biggest obstacle will be his stamina. Foley would probably benefit from a late entry number more than anyone in this match as I just don't think he has the conditioning to put up a fight for more than 20 minutes or so. Still, Mick is looking forward to being able to wrestle in front of all of his children for the first time so that motivation could give him the strength of ten Grinches plus two. There is a bit of poetic justice that brings the beginning of the Mick Foley farewell tour back to where it all began in Madison Square Garden. Mick has made a career out of surprising us, maybe he has one more surprise up his sleeve.
Analysis: In the Great Khali's only Royal Rumble appearance last year he eliminated seven men straight in dominating fashion. Khali's advantage in this match is the same advantage he has in every match he wrestles in: his size. Sure being that big is going to hamper his stamina, be he can just stand there and rest if he needs to. Who's gonna stop him? It took the arrival of Undertaker last year, one of two men that have found a way to consistently battle Khali, to be able to eliminate him. Unfortunately for Khali, Undertaker is in this year's match as well. Still, it's fitting that Khali's World Title win last year came in a Battle Royal. There are plenty of big men that should do well in these sorts of situation that end up disappointing. The Great Khali is not one of those disappointments. 29 other men may all be having the Punjabi Nightmare this Sunday.
Potential WrestleMania Opponents: Undertaker, Edge, The Great Khali, Big Daddy V
Potential Enemies: Big Daddy V, Umaga, Snitsky, Batista, Finlay, Shawn Michaels, Marke Henry, The Great Khali
Potential Allies: Undertaker
Former Allies: Mick Foley, Triple H
Analysis: Kane has a history of being a dominant force in the Rumble, setting the record for Rumble eliminations with 11 in 2001. This year there is decidedly more beef in the Rumble which could pose a problem. Sure it's easy to toss out a bunch of smaller guys but when you've got a bunch of massive human beings in your way it's going to be a lot tougher. Of course he could always revisit his 2001 strategy of teaming with his half-brother Undertaker, but that didn't work out too well when he tried it again in 2003. Kane has consistently participated in Rumbles, wrestling in the previous nine so he should certainly have the experience factor down. If Kane can avoid double teams by the larger superstars in the match he may be able to do quite well for himself but should a team like Big Daddy V and Mark Henry turn their attentions to him he may be in trouble.
John Morrison
Rumble Experience: 2006, 2007
Potential WrestleMania Opponents: CM Punk, Jeff Hardy, Ric Flair
Potential Enemies: Hardcore Holly, The Miz, Mick Foley, Batista, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin
Potential Allies: The Miz
Former Allies: Mark Henry
Analysis: This is Morrison's third Rumble appearance but his first under the new moniker. Morrison has the athleticism and the stamina to be a force in this match plus he wrestles in the relative anonymity of ECW meaning he could take many superstars by surprise. People have compared Morrison to Shawn Michaels in the past and we have seen how well Michaels has done in these matches. The biggest variable here is Morrison's tag team partner The Miz. M'n'M have proven to be one hell of a tag team recently but they have also shown that when singles glory is up for grabs it is every man for himself. We have seen tag teams fall apart in the Rumble before, especially when those in the team have egos like Miz and Morrison. Morrison may be best served by watching his allies more than his enemies.
Mark Henry
Rumble Experience: 1998, 1999, 2004
Potential WrestleMania Opponents: CM Punk, Big Daddy V, Umaga, Batista
Analysis: Sometimes being The World's Strongest Man has its advantages. One would assume this would be one of those times. Mark Henry actually did surprisingly well in his first two Rumble appearances ten years ago, but his last Rumble appearance in 2004 was a short one. While the Mark Henry of today is a much more competitive individual than he once was he also has a pretty stacked lineup of superstars to go throw this year. Henry does benefit from having his tag team partner Big Daddy V in the Rumble with him. If Matt Striker can keep these two behemoths on the same page they could be unstoppable. It would eventually have to come down to the two giant men and you know Mark Henry is just waiting for the chance to get some payback for Big Daddy V squashing his baby mama Mae Young all those years ago. Baby mama drama or not, Henry is poised to have a good run in this year's Rumble Match.
The Miz
Rumble Experience: 2007
Potential WrestleMania Opponents: CM Punk
Potential Enemies: Hardcore Holly, John Morrison
Potential Allies: John Morrison
Former Allies: none
Analysis: The Miz's Royal Rumble participation last year was unimpressive to say the least. The Miz ranks up there with Bushwhacker Luke and The Warlord as one of the fastest Rumble eliminations ever. A year late and The Miz is a more seasoned competitor. He has formed a tremendous tag team with John Morrison and looks to do significantly better this year. Like I pointed out earlier though, The Miz needs to watch out for his own tag team partner. All's fair in love and the Royal Rumble so he should keep one eye on John Morrison at all times, no matter how smoothly things are going.
Santino Marella
Rumble Experience: none
Potential WrestleMania Opponents: Jeff Hardy, Chris Jericho, Umaga, Triple H, Undertaker, Rey Mysterio, CM Punk
Analysis: In Santino Marella's first match he defeated "the Umaga" for the Intercontinental Title. Could Santino find success in his first Royal Rumble as well? Santino has the benefit of having new tag team partner Carlito watching his back, but Carlito has shown in the past that he is not a trustworthy partner. Carlito's best strategy would be to hide on the outside and smooch with his a-lovely Maria until all the hard work is done. Otherwise I have a feeling we may see our quickest exit in the match in the form of Santino Marella.
Carlito
Rumble Experience: 2006, 2007
Potential WrestleMania Opponents: Triple H, Rey Mysterio, Jeff Hardy, CM Punk
Potential Enemies: Triple H, Mr. Kennedy, Snitsky, Hardcore Holly, Cody Rhodes, Hornswoggle, Finlay, Mick Foley, Shelton Benjamin, Shawn Michaels, The Great Khali, Umaga, John Morrison
Potential Allies: Santino Marella
Former Allies: Umaga
Analysis: Carlito has made it pretty deep into the Rumble in his previous two Rumble appearance, but the past year hasn't exactly been his best. Carlito isn't exactly carrying a lot of momentum into this year's Rumble, but he does have a new tag team partner to watch his back. Given Carlito's penchant for turning on his partner and Santino's penchant for getting his ass kicked I'm not sure that the new relationship will help him out too much here. Carlito possibly could have stayed in the Rumble even longer last year had he not tried to bring in some of his aerial offense, so if Carlito stays grounded he may be able to get something accomplished and start off 2008 on the right foot.
Cody Rhodes
Rumble Experience: none
Potential WrestleMania Opponents: Randy Orton, Edge, CM Punk, Big Daddy V, Ric Flair
Analysis: Cody Rhodes doesn't have a lot of experience but he has a winning pedigree. WrestleMania will be held in Florida this year, a state that his father wrestled his heart out. How awesome would it be for young Cody Rhodes to headline WrestleMania in the state of Florida? Stranger things have happened. If Cody is lucky he'll be able to lay low and strike when nobody is looking, kind of like Maven in 2002. The biggest of Cody's problems is his own tag team partner Hardcore Holly who would love a reason to beat up on the kid some more.
Hardcore Holly
Rumble Experience: 1994, 1996, 2001, 2005, 2007
Potential WrestleMania Opponents: Randy Orton, CM Punk
Potential Enemies: Carlito, Santino Marella, Mr. Kennedy, The Miz, John Morrison, Mick Foley, Cody Rhodes, Snitksy
Potential Allies: Cody Rhodes
Former Allies: Mick Foley
Analysis: Holly has participated in five Royal Rumbles and outside of initiating Daniel Puder into the world of sports entertainment hasn't done anything of note. Last year was his best shot of career advancement when he was a big fish in the small ECW pond and he still didn't do much other than be a casualty of The Great Khali. Holly is tough and will always match up great with guys like Finlay but I wouldn't expect him to go far. He'll help wear down some of the more likely winners but ultimately shouldn't be expected to produce much more than some swelling.
Snitsky
Rumble Experience: 2005
Potential WrestleMania Opponents: Triple H, Batista, Undertaker, Jeff Hardy
Potential Enemies: Triple H, Hardcore Holly, Kane, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin
Potential Allies: Umaga
Former Allies: Big Daddy V
Analysis: In Snitsky's lone Royal Rumble appearance in 2005 he had one of the more memorable Rumble moments as he flipped Paul London inside out with a clothesline that sent him crashing to the floor. He also stood toe-to-toe with the likes of Kane and John Cena. Since then big opportunities have come rarely but his vicious streak has become even more prevalent. Gone is the goofy, foot fetish Snitsky and here is a psycho hell bent on hurting people. Snitsky's desire to hurt people may take his mind off of winning the match but it could be pretty problematic for more focused individuals. Just ask Paul London what happens to people that get in Snitsky's way.
Jamie Noble
Rumble Experience: none
Potential WrestleMania Opponents: CM Punk, Randy Orton, Batista, Undertaker, Big Daddy V, Chavo Guerrero
Potential Enemies: Hornswoggle, Finlay
Potential Allies: none
Former Allies: none
Analysis: Over the last few months Jamie Noble has been a surprising underdog story. He's survived beatings from men like Undertaker, The Great Khali, and Batista, has gone toe-to-toe with Rey Mysterio, and taken it to ECW Champion CM Punk. He has beaten Chuck Palumbo four straight times and has gotten himself on quite a roll. Some may think that his size would work against him but he's proven that he can be a force despite not being the biggest guy around. The only thing that may be called into question is his focus as he's recently been involved in a love triangle with the likes of Chuck Palumbo and Michelle McCool. If Noble is focused heading into the Rumble he could be a surprise factor in this year's event.
Well that takes care of all of the confirmed participants and some of the likely although unconfirmed ones as well. There are eight spots remaining as of this writing. I think Jimmy Wang Yang & Shannon Moore will probably make it in if they haven't already by the time you read this. I also think that despite losing a televised Qualifying Match that Chuck Palumbo will make it in as well. I think we can bank on at least one surprise entrant, so that leaves us with three spots. I have a feeling Kofi Kingston will get in to increase the ECW representation and possibly even Tommy Dreamer after his "shoot" article on WWE.com. I would love to see Colin Delaney get a spot in the Rumble as well but I'm not sure if they'd let him. There is always the possibility somebody like MVP or the winner of Jericho-JBL making it in too. The other interesting factor in this is the Punk-Chavo feud. I figured WWE would at least attempt to maintain the appearance that the ECW Title is a World Title but since Punk and Chavo are having their title match on Tuesday it's possible that both men end up in the Rumble. While I like knowing what superstars they've got lined up for the Rumble, I kind of hope they leave some spots open just to leave us guessing. It's always cool to be surprised at the Rumble so I hope we are.
Royal Rumble Trends Predictor
Every year there are certain things that happen in the Royal Rumble Match. Here I will try and predict who will fill out these trends during the 2008 Royal Rumble.
First Two Participants: Since the Brand Extension, WWE has done a good job at making the first two participants seem really important and have tried to make it a good match up.
2008 Prediction: I really want to say Triple H and Colin Delaney, but without confirmation on either of them I won't. I'll go with Shawn Michaels and John Morrison.
Final Four: The Final Four is always exciting, and I think we got a good blend last three years.
2008 Prediction: Triple H, Mr. Kennedy, Batista, and Undertaker
No. 30: 2008 Prediction: Santino Marella
The Kane Push: Who will get to eliminate a bunch of guys but not win?
2008 Prediction: Big Daddy V
The Chris Jericho-Christian Rule: What alliance will fall apart in the match?
2008 Prediction: John Morrison & The Miz
"He's Not Supposed to Be Here!:" Who will show up at screw somebody over after they've already been eliminated or were never in the match to begin with?
2008 Prediction: If it weren't a midcard feud I'd say Chuck Palumbo eliminates Jamie Noble. How about Umaga eliminates Finlay?
Elimination Shocker: Who will pull a Maven this year?
2008 Prediction: If my Triple H-Colin Delaney starting two were right I would totally go with that. If not I'll pick Hornswoggle eliminating The Miz.
Battle of the Bulls Staredown: Which two big men will bump into each other and have a staredown?
2008 Prediction: I actually think we'll get quite a bit of this but I have a feeling Big Daddy V and Mark Henry are going to clash.
Cowardly Heel: Someone will stall outside of the match and not want to come in. Who will it be?
2008 Prediction: Santino Marella
Lawler's Favorite(s): Jerry Lawler will go through about three "favorites" that will not win the Rumble. Every time he gets a new favorite he'll point out that he knew it all along. Here are three that he'll probably pick.
2008 Prediction: Kane, Umaga, Mr. Kennedy
"Can you imagine…:" At some point in the match JR will bust out "Can you imagine what it would mean to _____'s career if he were to win the Rumble?"
2008 Prediction: Hardcore Holly
Like a house of fire…whoops: Who'll come in and clean house only to be dumped almost immediately?
2008 Prediction: Snitsky
Skin-the-cat Champion: Who will be on the verge of elimination very often but keep coming back?
2008 Prediction: Shelton Benjamin
The Chris Jericho-Hurricane Rule: Who will be eliminated and look like they blew out every muscle in their leg?
2008 Prediction: Cody Rhodes
Well that about does it for the Royal Rumble coverage. This year's Rumble is shaping up to be really good because it's so unpredictable. I hope you all enjoy the Rumble, I know I will.
Andy! Andy! At Last You Have Some Feedback!
411 Politics' Brandon Crow has a good idea for WrestleMania:
My big prediction for this year's Rumble card is that MVP beats Flair, then somehow, Flair gets an entrance to the Rumble and wins. He'll then get his last horrah at Mania against Jeff Hardy (champ), and lose. This way, Flair wins the Rumble and headlines Mania, but also puts over two young stars on his way out. Both MVP and Hardy can claim that they retired Flair. What do you think?
I like it and think that a Jeff-Flair and Jeff-MVP feud would both be excellent. Unfortunately I don't think WWE trusts Flair to be in a high profile match like that without someone like Triple H or Edge or Randy Orton or someone there with him. As a midcard match WWE may let Flair face off with Hardy, but I don't think WWE has the guts to put both of them in a WrestleMania title match.
The Shimmy Likes It Raw!
What's on tap for tonight's show?
Raw goes HD! For the first time ever WWE will present its broadcast in HD. I'm HD impaired (but one day, one day…) so it won't matter to me, but this is still a big deal.
Royal Rumble Qualifying Match: Triple H vs. Black Blob with a Question Mark on It; Who will fill the black blob's place? My money is on either JBL or Lashley. I don't think it'll be you-know-who. Hey, just because the bosses wanted to spoil it doesn't mean that I will.
Shawn Michaels vs. Mr. Kennedy; This is the rubber match. Who will take the momentum of a big win with them into the Royal Rumble?
There is a Tide in the Affairs of Men
I continue my new One Tree Hill report An Unkindness of Ravens this week. The quality of this week's show was definitely down from last week's debut (and really the second episode and the song from the first episode's coda were the only redeeming factors of last week) but it does feature the OTH debut of former WWE superstar Kevin Federline as the lead singer of a band that is definitely not called No Means Yes. Check it out and leave me some comments. My ego could use it.
Well, that's it for me. Enjoy the Royal Rumble everybody. Be sure to check in on Wednesday to see SmackDown spoilers presented by yours truly. Until then, don't die. Clark…out.
Why would you write this in kayfabe when it's been dead for years? It hurts your credibility.
Posted By: Rob (Guest) on January 20, 2008 at 07:29 PM
Because it would be no fun if I eliminated 27 people.
Posted By: Andy Clark (Registered) on January 21, 2008 at 12:19 AM
Im Suprised That You Think Carlito Is Going To Be In Anything More Than A Battle Royal At WM24
Posted By: Paul (Guest) on January 21, 2008 at 12:24 AM
maybe because on tv it is played out in kayfabe, so it makes sense from an entertainment p.o.v to anaylie it as such you dork. it doesnt hurt his credibility.
Posted By: 16seconds (Guest) on January 21, 2008 at 12:36 AM
Absolutely nothing shocking about Hornswoggle dumping The Miz out. In fact, if he doesn't, I'll be shocked haha. Now I think the shocker will be Finlay dumping out Hornswoggle, probably accidentally though. And Triple H vs. Black Blob, will be Black BOB. Lashley that is. And I hope to hell if he does, Triple H beats him. I hate that guy. Listen to him, how can anyone take him seriously? It's like The Undertaker in Suburban Commando, but worse.
Posted By: Derrick (Guest) on January 21, 2008 at 01:10 AM
I like the idea of writing it in kayfabe, even if it is dead. It doesn't hurt the credibility because the storyline will dictate partly how some of the results come out. Undertaker and Batista might team up as they both have a vendetta against Edge, but then again, they may also fight each other as they have been big rivals over the past year. Either way the kayfabe factor will come into play.
And it's more interesting that listening to the other columnists who think that Foley can't win just because WWE would not want to put over someone who is on their last year, or that HHH will definitely win because how else is he going to bury the competition and go on to win the WWE championship at WM.
The kayfabe factor does not hurt the credibility of this column and I, for one, like this column a little more because it used kayfabe as a means of predicting the match.
Posted By: Nightfall (Guest) on January 21, 2008 at 01:20 AM
Kayfabe is dead? IT'S STILL REAL TO ME, DAMMIT!
Posted By: Mike Minotti (Registered) on January 21, 2008 at 02:00 AM
Rob you are a fucking moron. who cares if "its written in kayfabe"? Its a good article. If you dont like it then write your own god damn article
Posted By: natedoggcata (Guest) on January 21, 2008 at 02:04 AM
Wow that thing about "kayfabe hurting his credibility" was a dumb comment... Why would it hurt his credibility? He told you at the begining that it's in kayfabe, so it's not like he went ahead with it taking us for ignorants..
Posted By: Samer (Guest) on January 21, 2008 at 02:05 AM
Take a taco and sit in the back row Rob. Do you wonder why the shows are in kayfabe too? Why not just have an hour long show every Friday running down all the scripted wins and losses in all federations and save the performers the hassle? Twat.
Posted By: Dr Domino (Guest) on January 21, 2008 at 06:10 AM
No, what would hurt Clark's credibility is if he suddenly smartened his columns up in an attempt to get the smark vote. Then, he wouldn't be being himself. That's like saying Roald Dahl's prestige was in the toilet because he wrote about giant peaches and girls with telekenetic powers. It's called 'style'.
Posted By: T.G. Corke (Registered) on January 21, 2008 at 07:25 AM
Very nice column. Your dead on with your prediction section for this year. Those trends do happen every year and are always fun to look for. I love how they start the Rumble with two big names (Michaels/Jericho '03,Benoit/Orton '04,Eddie/Benoit '05,Triple H/Rey '06,Flair/Finlay '07) HBK and Morrison would be an awesome way to start this year's Rumble, just to be different I'll say this year it's Triple H/Finlay who start it. I figure it makes sense since this could be Vince's way of trying screwing them both over. I agree with your final four that's exactly who I was thinking and there's a lot of ways they could go with it if it's those four. Should be an awesome Royal Rumble this year but they've got a tough act to follow with last year's effort.
Posted By: Brian (Guest) on January 21, 2008 at 09:59 AM
How do you decide potential wrestlemania Opponents
Posted By: KBM (Guest) on January 21, 2008 at 10:37 AM
Colin Delaney winning the rumble, would make me happy in my special area.
P.S. Andy - great call on Morrison-Flair at WM. if they get time for a proper build, the promos would be insane gold.
Posted By: oohchavo (Guest) on January 21, 2008 at 10:43 AM
Didn't Umaga appear in any Royal Rumbles when he was part of 3MW?
Posted By: Dave H (Guest) on January 21, 2008 at 12:16 PM
I actually prefer to read articles written in Kayfabe. I wasn't smart to the business until early 2006, and I'm 21 years old. I believe that kayfabe is still very much alive. Moreso than we all may think.
Oh, and I humbly suggest a name-change of the Chris Jericho/Hurricane Rule to the John Cena (2004) Rule.
Posted By: John B (Guest) on January 21, 2008 at 12:49 PM
Final 4: Batista, Undertaker, Mr. Kennedy, Umaga. Dark Horse: Shelton Benjamin. Wanted to point out most common Rumble entry # winners: 24, 27. Another fact: Except for 1st 20 man Rumble, only one time has a wrestler in the 10-19 drawing won the Rumble: I expect that to change this year.
Posted By: Zach (Guest) on January 21, 2008 at 01:09 PM
Hahaha.. Rob the Dork.
Well, this should be my first PPV since Wrestlemania 23. They do have a lot to live up to after the epic Taker/HBK showdown. Here's to them repeating that (or paying homage to it) this year. And, God, please, anyone but HHH. Even with two years (minus two hours) of non-champion HHH, I'm sick of him. He's like a four-limbed, big-nosed, quad-tearing relapsing cancer. (This coming from one of the original fans of the man.)
Rant over.. long live the kayfabe. Long live the Shimmy.
Posted By: Christopher Warrior (Guest) on January 21, 2008 at 01:21 PM
i have been watching wrestling for years, now im 16 and still dont have a clue what Kayfabe means!!! lol!!!
can some1 tell me? i feel like a goon as i dont know it
Posted By: jacob (Guest) on January 21, 2008 at 01:30 PM
and can some1 tell me where Andy Clark used it in here? argh lol
good article as always
Posted By: jacob (Guest) on January 21, 2008 at 01:39 PM
Well, I think that it's a GOOD thing to analyze the Royal Rumble in kayfabe, considering that's pretty much how it's booked.
Posted By: Apocalypse (Guest) on January 21, 2008 at 01:45 PM
Thanks for all the comments guys! I'm glad to see you all were good with the format of the column. KBM: I picked the potential Mania matches by just kind of stretching my thought process to thinking "OK, if they guy won the Rumble who could they realistically match up with in a title match." I kind of went nuts on that this year, normally I don't give as many options. Dave H: You're right, Jamal did appear in the Rumble but since I was operating this column under kayfabe I'm counting him as being different from Umaga. Some guys can change gimmicks and still be the same person, but others are different people entirely (like Kane and Isaas Yankem). John B: It's a good suggestion, the only reason I picked Jericho and the Hurrican is because they consistently took bad eliminations. Cena's in 04 was definitely ugly, but Jericho and Helms seem to look like they hurt themselves almost every year. Again, thanks for all the great comments, guys!
Posted By: Andy Clark (Registered) on January 21, 2008 at 02:07 PM
Nice column, I've always liked it.
Posted By: Capt. Smooth (Guest) on January 21, 2008 at 04:07 PM
Props on this article! I wish more 411 wrestling articles were written in kayfaybe... those articles are always extremely entertaining!
Posted By: bobby bronx (Guest) on January 21, 2008 at 04:12 PM
Elimination Shocker: Who will pull a Maven this year?
I know it will only be his first week in the ECW roster, but if they have Kofi Kingston in the match they could put him hugely over by having him eliminate Mark Henry or Big Daddy V. It wll be good in his first week and if he is a face on ECW it could be a good rivalry for him to get over with one of those 2 for his first rivalry. But we will see
Posted By: Jacob (Guest) on January 21, 2008 at 05:11 PM
i am going with shelton to win it. and as a big surprise, edge. the rated aRmy takes out a competitor. edge takes their spot. he wins thinking he can choose his opponent.
Posted By: rey (Guest) on January 21, 2008 at 09:38 PM
Umaga has Royal Rumble experience. He was in the 2003 Royal Rumble as Jamal
Posted By: natedoggcata (Guest) on January 21, 2008 at 10:02 PM
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