Truth B Told 1.24.08: Royal Stumble

Posted by Bayani Domingo on 01.24.2008

The Royal Rumble is one of the most anticipated shows of the year, but why isn't being the "last in the ring" worth being the "last on the card" when it comes to Wrestlemania? Why the reward of winning the Royal Rumble isn’t as “Over the Top” as it used to be. *It’s like a switch*

Arguably the WWE Title is THE richest prize in the industry. Winning the Royal Rumble not only places you amongst a short list of legends and Superstars who have managed to pull off such a lofty feat, but also places you smack dab in the main event at the biggest show of the entire year. Winning the Royal Rumble not only makes you the uncrowned "Next in Line to the Throne" but also almost guarantees you one of the biggest, if not THE biggest, victories of your career on the "Grandest stage of them all". To win the Royal Rumble is to almost assuredly win the Title, which made that PPV the 2nd biggest show of the year for most people. This year, that's not so true. The Royal Rumble means less now than it ever did before.

While most people are familiar with the statistic that every Royal Rumble winner has won a WWE Championship at Wrestlemania, that was not always the case. In fact when Flair won the title in 1992 he actually won the WWF Title. Actually it was the next year in 1993 that the tradition of the winner getting a WWF title shot actually came to be. The record of Royal Rumble winners actually taking the title at Wrestlemania was spotty at best between '93 and '01, if you remember Lex Luger, British Bulldog, and Vince McMahon all won the Rumble at some point and I don't seem to remember the "My Sacrifice" video with them holding up the belt at the end of ‘mania do you? Until Rey Mysterio won the Rumble two years ago and ‘Taker won it last year the Royal Rumble winner had always gone for the title that was held on RAW. After a few years went by the "e" got smart enough to mix things up and Rey and ‘Taker decided to stay on their own brand. Problem was that neither of those title matches actually "main evented" WM.

Once the "Brand Extension" happened the Royal Rumble began to lose a bit of its luster because now there were not one, but two titles that could be defended at Wrestlemania. The winner then got a choice of titles and until two years ago the clear decision was to go after the one on the "A" show. This left Smackdown looking rather weak by comparison as they were always the "sloppy seconds". The last time that the "Smackdown Title" got to Main Event a Wrestlemania was after the "Brand Split" when Brock Lesner defeated Kurt Angle after winning the Royal Rumble that year, since then it's been all RAW in the ‘Main Event'. So while it used to be that winning the Rumble was a guarantee at being in the highest profiled match on the biggest show of the year, now it meant that so long as you were going after the title on RAW you would retain that honor. If not you were simply getting a title match. Funny, but just winning a title match doesn't seem to be that big of a deal considering that guys like Jericho can get one just by winning a match or two after he comes out of retirement, or a one night "beat the clock tournament" can get you the same thing. But, that's only the first two brands, we haven't even talked about ECW yet.

Let's be honest with ourselves; who in their right mind would go through the trouble of qualifying and then winning the Rumble just to go after the ECW Title? While it makes sense for ECW wrestlers to enter the Rumble, especially because it could get them off the "Intramural" show and on to at least the "B" show if not RAW itself, it makes no sense to even offer the ECW Title as a possible option because it's clearly the weakest and least prestigious of all the titles. Besides, there aren't even any ECW wrestlers high profile enough to even stand a chance of winning. Even if by some miracle someone did pick the ECW title to go after if they won, there is no way in hell Vince would ever let the ECW title get top billing over the WWE title. What's more is that now with a 3rd title in the mix you have even more title matches taking place which makes the whole point of the Royal Rumble winner's title match that less special.

What is a bit deflating about this year or even last year as opposed to years before is that now instead of everyone but the Champion and the Rumble winner having to find matches of their own and try to fight for an under card spot on the big show now there are all these "Consolation Prizes" left. Usually the brands that don't get picked as have to defend their titles have #1 Contendership matches or tournaments to decide who their champion has to defend against. So now not only doesn't a wrestler even HAVE to win the Rumble to get Main Event match at WM, but he doesn't even have to be IN the Rumble to get a shot at the title. It used to be that the feeling was that if you didn't win the title you had months of disappointment ahead of you as the best you could hope for is an IC title shot, that leant a certain amount of desperation and abandonment to each wrestler as it truly was "do or die" if they wanted to get their big championship ‘moment in the sun'.

Now they can be the first one eliminated, win a match or two the next month and still have a title match in hand by ‘mania. The stakes are not really all that high anymore when you look at it in that light. It's not "do or die", it's "do or…do at the next PPV". Hell, you can even win your title shot DURING Wrestlemania instead if you win the "Money in The Bank Match". In fact if you look at it logically it makes even more sense to hold off and win that match, then take out the winner of the Main Event with a sledge hammer, or a chair, or Zach Gowen's prosthetic leg and then just pin them and steal your big moment. I'm not sure why the heels that win that match don't think about doing just that. Actually there is also one more way to sneak your win into the WM "Main Event" and that is to win the title at ‘No Way Out' and defend it at WM instead of challenging for it. That could have been the case in '06 when Angle had to defend the title versus ‘Taker, then ended up defending it again at WM the next month, albeit not in that same prime spot on the card. Last year they mixed things up by having both challengers team up with their opponents rather than risk a title change at the PPV before ‘mania. But that was a booking decision that isn't always made. Theoretically that adds another way to ‘main event' ‘mania without winning the Rumble.

There has been some rumors that an "Elimination Chamber" will take place at ‘No Way Out' to determine the #1 contender for one of the other Titles not chosen by the Rumble winner. My assumption is that the winner will go on to challenge for the Smackdown title, or possibly the RAW title, but not the ECW title. I guess they'll just do another tournament for that match. I'm actually okay with that because it provides another big test for a wrestler to get a shot at a title without simply having to win one easy match to qualify. Hopefully they book it logically by having either the last 6 men eliminated or some combination of the top ECW/Smackdown or RAW superstars left in the ring last as the ones who qualify. That at least makes "Finishing in the money" that much more important for the wrestlers who are actually IN the match itself. Then again considering that many potential wrestlers who could get a Title match at ‘mania but are already in match they may go with another method. I will assume once again that the ECW title will be left off and a tournament will take place for that spot. Not ideal since they look like "Sloppy thirds", but at least it's something. I still think that #1 contendership should be won in a "Phattest Poncho" contest, but that's just me. While I'm still dodgy on rewarding what amounts to "Royal Rumble Losers" with a second chance at Main Eventing WM, at least this makes for an even bigger challenge for the guys who came close, but ended up coming up too short to actually win the Rumble itself. Still, I'd hate to see the Elimination Chamber winner still get to go on last at WM.

I remember that years ago there was always so much speculation about who would win the Royal Rumble and go on to "Main Event" Wrestlemania. Then it seemed that the list of contenders got shorter and shorter. Last year everyone was split between HBK and Undertaker, even though neither really needed to win the match because both got their title shots and the winner of that match once again…didn't even get to be in the ‘main event'. Both wrestlers were multi-time WWE champions so it didn't seem like a big deal other than ‘taker never winning the Rumble before. It wasn't like a Benoit winning the title after years of trying, or Rey Rey being the ultimate underdog, there was no Lesner there to cement his status as "The Next Big Thing", or Batista completing his transformation into a superstar after a red hot feud with HHH. But at least there was some speculation. To be honest I'm not even hearing that much chatter about this year's potential winners.

As of writing this week's column there are 24 confirmed participants already: Umaga, Snitsky, Holly, Foley, Cody, Santino, Carlito, HBK, Kennedy, HHH, Hornswoggle, ‘Taker, Batista, Kane, Finlay, Noble, Henry, Khali, Palumbo, Morrison, Miz, BDV, Dreamer, and Shelton. Of those names how many have a real chance of winning and probably going after the WWE title seeing as how the last two winners went after the World Heavyweight Title before? Let's say Umaga, Kennedy, HHH, HBK, ‘Taker, and Batista. That's not to say more names won't be announced but that seems like a fairly small list of real contenders. For me it seems like Umaga can be taken off as well as ‘Taker since Umaga isn't' the guy who is going to sell tickets, especially with two heels currently as champion, also I can't imagine ‘taker wins two in a row. That leaves HHH, Kennedy, HBK and Batista, three of which have already won the Rumble. My guess is that HBK won't win and neither will Kennedy because HBK was last year's ‘bridesmaid' and Kennedy already had his shot to win the title and lost his MitB shot to Edge. Plus those guys will probably end up feuding into ‘mania anyways. That then leaves us with HHH and Batista. While a Batista vs Orton feud could be intriguing a HHH/Orton feud has been done already, then again HHH is being built into an unstoppable monster after taking out half of Vince's "goon squad" already while Batista seems to be treading water in SD's main event scene. HHH has won the Rumble already and even though he's now a "face" it's hard to get excited about HHH winning yet again.

Then again there are 6 more places in the Royal Rumble left and plenty of "surprise" participants who could show up unannounced. Of course you have the possibility of a returning Big Show, but that seems a bit premature since he just signed. Also you have RVD and a potentially healthy Bobby Lashley. Something tells me if RVD does return he won't be welcomed back with a near guaranteed title win right off the bat. Lashley is a possibility but is Vince willing to let him run with the ball and face Orton? Those would be the worst battle of promos since the autistic debate championship of '95. I wonder how fast Cena really CAN heal up. There seems to be a growing sense of apathy amongst many fans as to this year's battle royal. Most people seem to be more excited to see the match based on habit than they do the actual outcome of the match. While that may not be true for the majority, I think the minority seems to be growing by the day.

I think a lot of people have conditioned themselves to get excited for certain shows with Wrestlemania being #1 on the list and Royal Rumble being #2. part of the allure of the match is not only the match itself but it marking the "go home" for what some consider the end of the wrestling "season". The Royal Rumble pretty much serves as the "last regular season game" right before the "playoffs" kick off and the "Super Bowl of PPVs" takes place in April. While the match is usually pretty entertaining and while the rest of the card is shaping up nicely it just seems like so much more emphasis has been put on the under card this year as compared to the match itself that the true "Main Event" seems to be a bit underwhelming. Now just imagine what would happen if Ric Flair was entered into the Rumble under the same "lose and retire" stipulations as he's had thus far? I think the "e" is relying too much on the match selling itself rather than hyping up the match enough to make it seem as important as the rest of the title matches. What's more is that unlike in past years there doesn't seem to be a real clear "favorite" or "feel good story" going into the Rumble and no real hook or angle going into it making it seme even less important. Maybe that's just me, but I think at least a few of you have to wonder why this years Rumble just isn't getting the respect it deserves.

My intention wasn't to piss on anyone's parade but to rather show you how less significant winning the Royal Rumble is today as it was just 5 years ago. While many things can't be fixed, i.e. Brand Extension, there are some things that could be altered to restore some of the importance of winning the Rumble. The first thing that should be done is to guarantee the winner the "Main Event" slot at Wrestlemania. No more "Title match", but the end all be all prime spot on the card. The second thing that can be done is to make the Rumble winner pick their belt before ‘No Way Out'. Then you would make sure that the Championship they want to challenge for is not up for grabs at that PPV. That way you can't sneak into the Main Event at WM through the proverbial "backdoor". I also like the idea of the ‘Chamber' match as you make it as difficult as possible for a wrestler to still get a title shot at WM, while making it clear that the winner will not get to Main Event, but still get a shot at gold. I'm not sure what the title that isn't picked gets, but my guess is they get shit on for being the "last kid picked for kickball". I think my original idea was a bit contrived, but I think a good idea would have been to have a ladder match with the last 6 men left in the Rumble that didn't win, with both titles locked in briefcases. Two of those 6 men will win title shots, but won't know which one they are challenging for until they open it up. That could still be done in a "chamber" although it might get messy. Still it would make NWO seem like less of a "transition PPV" and give it more importance since it's sandwiched between the two biggest shows of the year.

I still look forward to the Royal Rumble, its hard not to. Really the match itself is always entertaining and it is one of the most unpredictable matches that the WWE has. The only real problems you could get are if there was an accidental elimination that wasn't supposed to happen, or if Vince McMahon wins. Oh '99 Rumble, why must thou haunt me so? The real problem here is how to make that match really matter again. If nothing else let's let the Rumble winner really shine again in the Main Event. I think you really do take away a lot of the "shine" from a Superstar when he manages to reach such a huge pinnacle in his career, only to find out that he's going on right before McMahon and Trump. The "Brand Extension" has not only allowed for more opportunities for more talent to shine, but it has also taken the teeth out of a notable distinction that used to really mean something. Let's bring some nobility back to the Royal Rumble. Or at the very least…someone toss out Hornswoggle from the get go. I can't stomach another "McMahon" winning just 9 years later.

The Truth

I happen to be going to the PWG show on Sunday afternoon so I'll likely miss most of the Royal Rumble if not all of it. Some people are planning to try and at least catch the last half at Nationals in Buena Park, but I'm not sure I want to spend $8 just to watch half a PPV. More than likely I'll fork out the money though because the Royal Rumble match itself is still a big deal. I think it's the ‘mark' in me that loves trying to figure out who is getting eliminated when and who will end up winning the whole damn thing. You can almost never go wrong with the match and for a lot of people its one of the highlights of the year. I just wish it was a bigger deal now like it used to be. Just a few years ago if you won the Royal Rumble you were THE man going after THE title in THE main event of THE show of the year. Now you're simply a guy who gets to choose one of various titles to be defended somewhere on the Wrestlemania card. Not exactly something to blog about.

Coming Up Short

Ooooh Chavo. So I'm really confused as to what's going on now, although it's clear that ECWDown is becoming a bit of a mess now that this "talent exchange" is in place. So now the Rated Rmy owns both shows? You're now telling me that Randy Orton, Edge, and Chavo are the three champions of the WWE? Man, that is sure a step down from when it was Cena, Booker, and Big Show. I would assume this is a plot twist to get Punk into the Royal Rumble match and will eventually lead to a program between Punk and Edge and possibly Chavo and Rey Mysterio as it would makes sense for those guys to trade partners at this point. Chavo and Rey have good chemistry and history and the Punk character is a natural enemy for the "Rated R Superstar". I don't think this leads to Punk being the World Heavyweight Champion, but it does freshen up the title scene a bit. Only problem is that now Edge has 4 possible feuds in ‘Taker, Batista, Rey, and Punk. That leaves Chavo with…um….damn it, isn't everyone else in ECW a heel? Wow, well there goes the credibility of the ECW title now, clearly the progression is Cruiserweight Champion à ECW Champ. I think the criteria for being a "Champion" these days has come up waaaaaay shorter than we ever expected. Someone let Chavo Classic know he has an ECW title shot coming up.

6 Degrees of…



Damn, I guess NO ONE wants to choose their links for 6DO, winners or not. Last week Louis Jones won with his entry and not even a single link for this week. will Louis I'll just assume you want a Canuck in offing this time and I'll pick a good one. I hear something about this sport they call…Hockey? I believe that's some kind of an ice sport that is popular up North. Sidney Crosby is apparently the heir apparent to the other "Great One" and is out with an ankle sprain for 6 to 8 weeks. Ouch. I also hear some people say that he's a bit of a whiner as he's getting the Hockey version of the "Jordan Rule" every time he's roughed up a bit. Well let's take a look at another young, whiny phenom who also achieved something pretty special at a young age.



The "Future Legend" and the "Legend Killer" all tied up in a neat little package. Speaking of which, let's just hope Sid doesn't have any homoerotic pictures circling around the internet.

Whatchu talkin' bout readers?

Hello Bayani,
As a man of science, currently working on my german diploma, I cannot state that your column of 17/01/08 is your best, since I have not read your columns since the very beginning of your prosaic work. However I deeply feel the wish to compliment you for your current effort for your column did not only cater the lower urges, which were also
professionally taken care of by your supply of presentations of scintilising feminine charms, but rather tried to fill the consciousness of your readers, me included, with the serious sides of wrestling, our beloved pseudo-sport. On the other hand, your subtly written manifesto bestowed upon me the conviction that indeed wrestling can be, should be and IS also an entertaining artform requiring thought, dignity and considerateness of both its protagonists and viewers alike.

Well, anyway, that was probably the bourbon talking, and I can tell you a Knob Creek is not too easy to come by in good Ol' Germany, but I truly think very highly of your current column and was rather surprised because, most of the times, I visit your column for a cheap laugh and to promote my social status with my colleagues by sending them the links of your weekly asian bitch looking hot pics.

By the way, I feel it is really unfair to force a man, a human being so to speak, to choose between Gail Kim and Melina. That's like having to choose between a blowjob from a NY Flashdancer prime time stripper in their private lounge and a full anal with a japanese 23 year old who's not too bright or model like sexy, but not too bad either. These kind of choices should no man have to take. It's either both or nothing! By the way I'd never compare either Gail Kim or Melina Perez to a stripper or a slut; but again, probably the Bourbon talkin' .

Greetings from a fan of sarcasm,

Robert

PS: Canadian Dollar my a**! For us Euro-Guys North America rivals a Bangkok brothel in cheapness. Old World Hooray!

Honestly, this so far is my favorite e-mail of '08. I have no clue what Robert is saying half the time, and if I had to guess I actually would have said Glenlivet or Maker's Mark over Knob Hill, but this is just brilliant. From what I can tell though Robby would "do the dew" with both Gail and Melina and he uses my soft porn links to impress his friends. Well Cheers Robert, I'll get my interns working round the clock to track down the nearest Knob Hill smuggler in Germany. Right after they get back from Amsterdam with my "balloons".

Maria Theresa Dalagan dusts off a classic juicy Joshi jezebel:

yeah i know, you're already familiar with manami toyota's stuff. but i think she deserved a spotlight into your asian looking bitch section if you think she's hot

Well, it wouldn't be neighborly not to include at least one of the pics Maria sent....



Not bad. Although I think if I do a retro "Asian Bitches" section she'd definitely get a week. Then again, I think you might have left the best pic out of your e-mail. Yeah, I'd definitely let her hit me with a Shining Labia...I mean Wizard.

This is exactly why I need y'all to keep me up on the comings and goings on 411 on the weekends when I'm off jet flying, limo riding, and clipping my toe nails:

hey, B, you're the top writer IMO in the wrestling zone. are you going to let that Corke nig not include you in his foo promotion? you should shoot on his ass or curb stomp him in a run in. you can't stand for his disrespectfulness.

Johnny

Okay the first thing I did when I read this e-mail was say, "Corke who? And what the hell is a foo?" Then the second thing I did was say, "Did Johnny just call Corke a ‘nig'?" Tremendous. Well I took a look at the column in question and lo and behold that little ‘nig' went and created his own wrestling company out of 411 writers and I wasn't even booked. Damn, it's like I'm the Chris Harris of 411 now. Except I actually do a few sit ups and pass on seconds. Dang, that IS disrespectful. I'm not even a F.O.O. Superstar....err...Extremist....er.... Fighter? Whatever he calls them. It does look like my old one time nemesis Andy "AC" Clark is there, and apparently I'm his "rival"...making me a "heel". Which is so true. Still, I am cut to the quick TJ. Clearly it's a racial thing. I don't see a single ‘brutha' on that roster. Then again with my luck Cork-E would have booked me as an impossibly ridiculous "Oriental" stereotype with some kind of a bogus gimmick....



INDEED!!

6 Degrees Results

#1

Bayani,

First time emailer, long time reader. Great posting on wrestlers after their fame has passed and how DDP seems to have a pretty good handle on his life. It does not really surprise me, though, this is a guy who has made a career of overcoming adversity.

Before I give you my 6DO, I want to put in a vote for Gail Kim. Melina is attractive but Gail's body is so perfect they ought to build sculptures to it.

As for my initial entry into 6DO, it goes something like this:

Bell Biv Devoe appeared on the Grand Theft Auto:San Andreas video game soundtrack
Ozzy Osborne also appeared on that soundtrack
Ozzy accompanied the British Bulldogs to the ring for Wrestlemania 2 when they defeated the Dream Team of Greg Valentine and Brutus Beefcake
Greg Valentine fought Roddy Piper in a brutal Dog Collar match at Starrcade 1983
Roddy Piper faced Hulk Hogan many times over the years, with his team of himself and Paul Orndorff losing to Hogan and Mr. T at Wrestlemania 1
Diamond Dallas Page defeated Hogan (and Piper and Flair) in April 1999 to capture the WCW World Championship
How was that for a first attempt?

Keep up the good work,

Mark

Good job. Also, good timing. Sometimes it's better to be lucky AND good. Next week you get to pick one candidate to nominate to next week's 6DO.

Left Overs…

Tomorrow we get a new member of "Age of the Fall". Apparently the only hints about him are; "he has a reason to rebel against society", which I guess means he is the only guy still using "friendster". "He is not on the current ROH roster, also they are known to a "National TV audience". You know, that's a big list. So I will go against conventional wisdom that it's an ex-WWE guy or even someone like Chris Harris and go with a ex-WSX wrestler. There are tons of choices: Arik Cannon, Luke Hawx, Josh Abercrombie, Nate Webb, TJ Perkins, Vampiro, or even…Teddy Hart? Oh wait, that said "he has reason to hate society", not the other way around.

I guess there is talk of bringing in Britney Spears to do something with the WWE. I'd suggest they bring her in against a diva to do a "Bra and Panty Match', but she would only meet half the qualifications.

I'm going to be missing the WWE in HD because I still have the same TV I had when I was a sophomore in college. I'm kind of glad though because I'm sure many of you will soon find out that Ric Flair doesn't have a millionaire tan, he just has one huge fuckin' liver spot.

UFC and TNA are teaming up to promote Brock Lesner's first match. Anyone else get the feeling this somehow ends in Brock giving Frank Mir the finger poke of doom to reunite with Kurt Angle? Or maybe Randy Couture ending up with the X-Division title? But don't worry, he wouldn't have possession of the title, only the title of being title owner, because possession of the title….man…fuck you Russo. You make these jokes so f'n complicated now.

So I guess Cryme Tyme is back in the WWEvelopment system. I guess their time on the Indy scene making peanuts must have taught them a valuable lesson about getting along with others. I can imagine their new slogan on the Indy scene had something to do with trying to get back in Vince's good graces, "Food stamps, Food stamps, yeah, yeah".

Tonight the season premiere of "Pros vs Joes" will air after Impact! Kurt Angle will be featured as a "pro", during his challenge he will wrestle the ‘Joes', but only after each one breaks their neck prior.

Yeah, Jeff Hardy's big spot last week was fairly impressive, after all if you look up "High Risk" in the dictionary you'll see a picture of him. Actually if you also look up both words separately you'll also see a picture of him.

I'm looking forward to seeing how the Nigel/Hero steel cage match works out. Although Steel Cages have been done to death, gimme a good "Moon Bounce Match" any day of the week. but fill it with 5 and 6 year old kids and one of the kids pees in the Moon Bounce. Yeah, now THAT is hardcore. "RoH, coming to you from Timmy's Birthday Party". Of course Bobby Dempsey would eat all the birthday cake and end up ruining the whole party…causing Timmy to then have reason to hate society. Ohhh…well played Jimmy Jacobs, well played.

Black Lesner gone? Well I'm sure he'll find his way back to the "e" at some point...maybe Japan....or TNA. There are boundless possibilities so long as Lashley doesn't completely burn any bridges and stays motivated and shape. Just make sure to hit the gym and stay away from junk food. Right Bobby....Bobby?.

You know you're going to buy that NJPW vs TNA DVD now. For as much as people say "TNA hates money", it was a good idea to only show the best match of the night for free and make you spend money to see the rest of it. I just hope they have plenty of ‘Easter Eggs' and extras. Like a bonus scene of Abyss and AJ reenacting the ‘tea ceremony scene' from Karate Kid II.

The Great Booty Debate 2008

Well the first battle from last week is over and by a landslide of near 3 to 1 Gail Kim is last week's winner. This week we look at the next tier down of Asian/Latina tail as we look at the newest editions to the Diva and Knockout line-ups: Lena Yada and Shelly Martinez. Now originally I was going to pit Lena vs Eve Torres in a rematch from the RAW Diva Search, but since Eve hasn't even been brought up yet I figured I'd pit substitute in Ariel/Shelly Martinez/Desire for those of you who remember her UPW days.

Random Asian Bitch Lookin' Good Pic of the Week


Yada, Yada, Yada…

Random Latina Bitch Lookin' Good Pic of the Week


I wonder if Homicide and Hernandez practice their "double teams" on her?

I was watching AAA on Sunday afternoon and they had some pretty interesting matches. One of my favorites was the 4-way intergender tag title match. I had no idea how awesome Gran Apache was. Was some guys use the vicious forearms, chops, kicks, or punches in the ring to take out opponents, Gran Apache uses a big slap upside the back of your head. Just knockin' muthafuckas out with a slap upside the head. That is awesome. It makes me think that Ike Turner could have been a lucha legend in Mexico.

So the whole episode of RAW was leading up to a handshake? Seriously? Couldn't they have just shortened it up and half way through the show they could have a forced "dap" or something? for some reason I think they should have saved that segment for the JBL/Jericho build instead and afterward Jericho shakes his hand he says, "*sniff sniff*…why does my hand smell like Cody's anus now?"


Pro Wrestling Guerrilla: Pearl Habra Preview

Details: Sunday, January 27, 2008 at 2:00PM. The Gym at the Park is located at 1885 Hacienda Rd., La Habra Heights, CA 90631. GA tickets are $20 at the door.

The Card:

PWG World Title Match: Low Ki © vs El Generico
PWG Tag Team Title Match: Super Dragon & Davey Richards © vs Joey Ryan & Scott Lost (w/ Jade Chung)
Best of 3 Series Final- 2/3 Falls #1 Contendership Match: Jack Evans vs Roderick Strong **Update: Jack may not wrestle due to injury.
No DQ Match: Chris Hero vs Human Tornado
Rocky "Azucar" Romero vs Karl "Machine Gun" Anderson
DDT4 Qualifier Round Robin Series
Los Luchas (Phoenix Star & Zokre) vs. Ronin & Scorpio Sky

Hook Bomberry & TJ Perkins vs. The Young Bucks (Matt & Nick Jackson)

B's Sez:

There are going to be at least 3 great matches on the card, the two title matches and the Evans/Strong match, or it least it would have been before I found out Jack will probably not be wrestling this weekend, thus throwing the card in disarray now that Strong will end up as de-facto #1 contender and probably end up killing a poor local wrestler. I know Ki/Generico has been done before in the TPI so it should be good again. Dragon's health willing, the tag title match should also be solid and hopefully they transition the belts onto the Dynasty. I'm kind of perplexed as to why Hero and Tornado are fighting though because if they were going to have a no DQ match anyways, then what was the point of that big 6 "person" tag at ASW6? It's like when Mysterio lost his title match to Orton, but got in the match anyways after Teddy Long let him back in it. I actually expect "Machine Gun" to go over the crowd favorite, Rocky Romero, as Karl has been on a hot streak and Rocky always seems to be a stepping stone, albeit a very popular one. While I think the Qualifier Round Robin matches will be decent, I think this is where the local guys need to really shine. Every team has something to prove as Los Luchas are hardly booked anymore, Ronin and Sky both saw big time pushes stall in '07 and have very little direction individually right now, the ‘Bucks are getting over with the fans but not in the win column, and Hook makes his big return to PWG in the hopes of being the personality to TJ's polish, neither guy has had much singles success and both need to prove that they are worthy of caring about.

All in all a "solid" show but not "spectacular", especially now that Jack Evans is injured as his match was probably the 3rd biggest match on the entire card. Still following ASW6 will be tough and I really don't see a match on the card that should be anything less than at least a **1/2 affair. The real key to this show is seeing whether the local talent in the tag division can shine because I don't doubt the rest of the singles matches will delivery on their potential. This is the kind of show PWG has needed as it's chock full of local SoCal wrestlers that all need some kind of push and direction. My most anticipated matches are: Ki/Generico, Hero/Tornado, and as a dark horse, TJ Hooker vs the ‘bucks. Let's just hope they can find a good replacement for Jack, although I wouldn't mind seeing Rocky/Roddy 3 and let Karl Anderson be the one to kill the replacement.

Pimpin' In High Places

If 411 was a Battle Royal I think it would be the longest Battle Royal in history. Not because it would be a hotly contested match, because most of us would get winded just walking down to the ring and the others would blow both quads just sliding in:

Ask 411 is manned by the incredulous Steve Cook. He wasn't always that way, back in '05 he was mighty credulous indeed.

AC has the RR cheat sheet. Trust me, it's easier to read than the Royal Rumble "teacher's edition".

Csonka has his take on ECW, the real one. Not the ECW Zero we have now.

HH found another sheep to join the flock. Seriously, where is my "I Heart Asian Bitches Lookin' Good" sign? At least at a CHIKARA event. C'mon!!

CoH gets into a tizzy over the newest RoH PPV. I'd totally order that PPV, but I'd rather wait for the DVD. Especially for the bonus content, I hear that Hero and Sweeney produced the first Bobby Dempsey workout video called, "10 second abs". Yeah, in just 10 seconds a day you could have the abs of Bobby Dempsey. Might want to hit repeat on that 100 or so times.

Sully gets happy and sucky with Chavo and Bobby. Which sounds like a Benetton ad gone horribly wrong.

Lansdell thinks FIP is invading. I hope it doesn't end with a hand held camera and El Generico fleeing the city while looking for Steen.

D-Dubya lets his Edge man-crush take over. Don't worry, it's not graphic, just rated PG-25.

Should be a good weekend of wrestling for me. Sunday is PWG and the Royal Rumble, health willing it should be an action packed day. So long as my health holds up. I've been fighting off a cold the past week. It seemed like everyone around me was sick, my friends, coworker, girlfriend, it was only a matter of time. I've been debating all week if I should take a sick day this week. So far it hasn't really been necessary since I'm teetering on the edge of sickness. Although as a wrestling fan there is no better time to catch up on DVD's, your video game playing, and porn…I mean…youtube than when you're sick. So far I'm taking plenty of Vitamin C, Echinacea, soup, and Zinc. Sometimes it feels like my cold is Morishima and I'm Pelle Primeau. Well let's hope I can pull the tights or my cold's passport is revoked. Or maybe I just need to bribe him with some crispy, crispy bacon.

Till then, the Truth will set you free.

-B