The Wrestling News Experience: 02.04.08

Posted by Stephen Randle on 02.04.2008

We've got Raw to preview, a Rumble to review, and Lashley provokes a Threatdown. Plus, the new way that TNA will change everything, WrestleMania matchups, and was that a sweet game this weekend, or what?

Good morning everyone, and welcome to the Experience. I am Stephen Randle, and I'm sure you've all heard the big news already. Very big, a fantastic game, great highlights, and most importantly, the long-awaited crushing of a hated franchise. I'm speaking, of course, about the Maple Leafs completely dominating the bumbling Ottawa Senators on Saturday night, live on national Canadian TV. Sure, they're not going to make the playoffs, but remember: it doesn't matter who wins, as long as Ottawa loses.

Oh yes, and there was some football game on last night, I don't know, I watched The Bone Collector instead. Decent movie.

Moving on.

What's On Tap: WWE Raw for February 4th

WWE.com is advertising more interaction between John Cena and the man who took him out (and his father, but we're not supposed to remember that any more), WWE Champion Randy Orton. Plus, will Orton have anything in store for JBL, who abandoned Orton in the face of Cena's assault last week?

Meanwhile, expect some fun when Elimination Chamber opponents get into it throughout the evening, especially considering that hated rivals JBL and Chris Jericho, as well as hetero life partners Triple H and Shawn Michaels are all slated to meet inside the elaborate steel structure.

Also, will this be the week that Mickie James completely snaps? Survery says…tune in tonight!

Around The Horn

Just a reminder, you should never completely believe anything we report until it actually happens. Sorry, we had to add this disclaimer once they caught Dave Lagana and started giving him fake info. I knew that whole "Cruel Intentions" storyline had to be a joke. I mean, it was a joke, right?

A summary of the entire Bobby Lashley (for want of a better word) saga is making the rounds now, and apparently there is bad blood spilling over on all sides. Let's see who is pissed off in this, the newest edition of…the THREATDOWN

5. Black Lesnar Apparently Lashley has a string of grievances, mostly centering around how his girlfriend, former Diva Krystal Marshall, was treated backstage. Also, apparently he wasn't a big fan of the travel schedule or working with local promoters, which causes problems when you're being pushed as ECW Champion and expected to, you know, make public appearances all over the place and be one of the faces of the company.

4. Vince McMahon Well, Vince did select Bobby Lashley to be the future #2 face of the company behind only John Cena, which is a huge deal for anyone, and a great sign of trust from the guy who signs the paychecks. Especially when he handpicks you to work the big WrestleMania angle with him and Donald Trump, then personally feuds with you on TV in an attempt to make you a bigger star (results not guaranteed).

3. WWE Developmental First of all, there's all the time and money spent training Lashley so that he could become a WWE Superstar and make lots and lots of money. Then, just for fun, let's toss in the fact that every time a developmental guy gets called up, pushed to the moon, then flakes out and leaves the company, it means that you have to work that much harder to train the next batch so that they don't do the same thing, and that's hoping that Vince doesn't just lose all confidence in your training and fire you or even stop using your territory to develop his wrestlers.

2. Jerry McDevitt Oh man, he's got to try and negotiate another "no compete" clause into another wrestler's departure agreement? Because this went so well with Lesnar. Plus, now he had to make sure that MMA is included in the agreement, and then he'll probably end up fighting in the courts again once Lashley decides that oops, he really does want to wrestle somewhere, just not in WWE.

1. The Usual Fall Guy Yes, everyone's favourite stress doll, Johnny Ace, is once again in the hot seat, this time for a disturbing tendency for high profile wrestlers to demand out of their contract or just plain leave WWE without a backwards glance under his watch as Head of Talent Relations. Just for a short list, we've got Brock, Kurt Angle, Christian, RVD, and Booker T, off the top of my head, plus Lashley. You could probably start your own promotion with that talent. I know, TNA's already doing that, but try to do it better than that.

Meanwhile, and in strangely related news, under the watchful gaze of Steve Austin, Kurt Angle, and the Undertaker, Brock Lesnar lasted a whole 90 seconds in his first UFC fight, before he lost via submission. Perhaps they should wait until he's had more than one fight before deciding to push him as a UFC headliner. Then again, Brock made out like a bandit on his payday, and UFC probably garnered a massive PPV buyrate, so who really is the smartest person in sports entertainment?

And in the latest way that they're changing pro wrestling forever by trying to be as much like WWE as they can, TNA may be considering moving to live broadcasts of Impact starting on WrestleMania weekend. Okay, everybody who's done the dance before, sing along with me.

- If TNA can get on TV, they'll compete with WWE in no time.
- If TNA can move to a better night, they'll compete with WWE in no time.
- If TNA can move to a prime time slot, they'll compete with WWE in no time.
- If TNA signs Sting/Christian/Rhino/Kurt Angle/Test/Booker T/insert former WWE talent here, they'll compete with WWE in no time.
- If TNA can expand to two hours, they'll compete with WWE in no time.
- If TNA can go live, they'll…do you see how it goes yet?

Apparently TNA is pushing towards getting the Knockouts their own TV show to showcase their talents. Because hey, you might as well have at least one show that's well-booked and showcases actual wrestling.

And you had to know that Stephen Called It because apparently Ric Flair's final match at WrestleMania is currently scheduled to be against…Shawn Michaels, something I predicted when this entire thing started, so you can't really call it a spoiler, can you? Ah, I'm sure I'll get mail.

In more WrestleMania plans, apparently we should look for MVP and Matt Hardy to resume and possibly culminate their long (lonnnng) running feud at Mania, as well as yet another Money in the Bank ladder match, in which the winner will hopefully not get injured or perjure himself in front of the entire world.

And before I leave this segment, for the people who still care, Raven is not done with TNA. Yet. Of course, his contract is up soon, so, you know, he's not going to be on TV any more, but he's still…around. Somewhere. Yep.

Who's Holding Gold

Well, the title matches are already set for No Way Out, as well as the two Elimination Chambers to decide the WrestleMania challengers, which leads me to ask: what was the point of the Royal Rumble again? Anyway, while Orton's title reign seems to be reaching its end, someone should pay attention to MVP; his United States title reign is reaching legendary proportions.

Meanwhile, over in Wackyland, could someone let me know which title shot Scott Steiner actually has at this point? I guess it's a moot point if the entire X Division ceases to exist, isn't it.

WWE

WWE Champion: Randy Orton
- 120 day reign
- defeated Triple H on October 7th (No Mercy PPV)
- Last Man Standing stipulation
- Next title defense: vs John Cena, No Way Out PPV

World Heavyweight Champion: Edge
- 50 day reign
- defeated Batista on December 16th (Armageddon PPV)
- triple threat stipulation involving The Undertaker
- Next title defense: vs Rey Mysterio, No Way Out PPV

ECW World Champion: Chavo Guerrero
- 13 day reign
- defeated CM Punk on January 22nd (ECW on SciFi)

WWE Intercontinental Champion: Jeff Hardy
- 154 day reign
- defeated Umaga on September 3rd (Raw)

WWE United States Champion: MVP
- 260 day reign
- defeated Chris Benoit on May 20th (Judgment Day PPV)
- 2/3 Falls stipulation

World Tag Team Champions: Cody Rhodes and Hardcore Holly
- 56 day title reign
- defeated Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch on December 10th (Raw)

WWE Tag Team Champions: John Morrison and The Miz
- 80 day reign
- defeated MVP and Matt Hardy on November 16th (Smackdown)

WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Title Vacant
- Previous champion Hornswoggle forced to vacate the title due to "his status as a McMahon" on September 28th (Smackdown)

WWE Women's Champion: Beth Phoenix
- 120 day reign
- defeated Candice Michelle on October 7th (No Mercy PPV)

TNA

TNA Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle
- 102 day reign
- defeated Sting on October 25th (Impact)
- Next title defense: vs Christian Cage, Against All Odds PPV

TNA Tag Team Champions: AJ Styles and Tomko
- 113 day reign
- defeated Team Pacman on October 14th (Bound For Glory PPV)
- Next title defense: vs BG James and Bob Armstrong, Against All Odds PPV

TNA X-Division Champion: Johnny Devine
- 11 day reign
- defeated Jay Lethal on January 24th (Impact)

TNA Knockouts Champion: Awesome Kong
- 25 day reign
- defeated Gail Kim on January 10th (Impact)
- Next title defense: vs ODB, Against All Odds PPV

The Injury Bug Bites

Inactive List as of 01.28.08

WWE

- Candice Michelle, RAW, out 4-6 weeks as of October 22nd (cracked clavicle)
- Gregory Helms, SD!, out one year as of May 17th (neck surgery)
- Kenny Dykstra, SD!, out indefinitely as of January 18th (knee)
- Lance Cade, RAW, out 6-8 weeks as of December 30th (separated shoulder)
- Matt Hardy, SD!, out 1-3 months as of November 20th (appendix)
- Paul London, RAW, day-to-day (foot)
- The Boogeyman, ECW, out indefinitely (calf)
- Torrie Wilson, SD!, out 2-3 weeks as of December 1st (back)

TNA

- Christopher Daniels, TNA, out indefinitely as of December 13th (kayfabe, "fired")

Transactions

- Christopher Daniels, TNA, returned to action as "Curry Man"

Apparently Daniels will remain under this gimmick for the indefinite future. Well, I guess there are worse things to do in TNA than work under a mask. Hey, at least he can pretend he doesn't work there.

Links For Fun And Nonprofit

Byers and Prag have the weekend news reports.

From the glowing box, Slimmer has Heat, Dunn and Borchardt have Smackdown, and Byers and Larry have Impact.

Clark has The Shimmy.

Short has The Navigation Log.

Linkous has Why I Love/Hate Wrestling.

Ari has Column of Honor.

Sforcian has Evolution Schematic.

Livingston returns to 411 with Tim's Take.

Corke has The Seventh Dimension.

And don't forget to check out my triumphant return to 411 Fact or Fiction, as I, the #2 wrestling writer in the entire Internet, take on the #1 wrestling writer in the entire Internet, J.D. Dunn.

The Gab Bag

Dan from Brooklyn makes a valid point: if Triple H-Orton was supposed to be the WrestleMania main event (which I guess it really wasn't, eh?), why did they give us two Orton-Trip matches at No Mercy? Well, at that point Cena's injury stepped in and the extent probably wasn't initially known, and with a PPV that weekend with no main event, the writing staff probably did the one thing they do best: panic. Dan's suggestion, which I've heard noised around, is an Evolution four-way match for one of the belts, with Flair's career also on the line. At this point, it would not shock me to see Batista face Orton at Mania, and you could make the storyline that they're both frustrated that neither will be in the big title matches that year, after holding the titles just prior to Mania. Okay, in Batista's case that's stretching, but you know what I mean. Besides, it gets them both on the card, and the match probably wouldn't be that bad.

Meanwhile, it's fun to watch the Comments section from last week, with the war between the Cena fans and haters roaring back to the forefront. Among the hilarious arguments are:

- Cena didn't earn his spot in the Rumble. Despite the fact that Mr. Kennedy, Finlay, Batista, Undertaker, and several others up to and including ECW jobber Elijah Burke did not wrestle qualifying matches of any sort, either.

- Cena's on steroids, that's why he's back early. Unless you're willing to provide proof, you know about as much as I do about who is and who is not on ‘roids.

- Oh no, Cena's here to win the title and go on to another million-month title reign. If you can see the future, why haven't you won the lottery yet? I will grant that Cena will probably win the title at No Way Out, but heading into the biggest WWE PPV of the year, wouldn't it make sense to have your biggest draw and merchandise seller in the headline match if it's at all possible?

- Cena can't wrestle. Well, that one's been done to death and proven as silly and unjustified, so we'll just move on to more Rumble fallout.

Apparently botched moves (and disturbingly unattractive cougars, thanks Melchor) are going to be even more fun to watch in HD, which should probably make me glad that I'm not rich enough to own a good TV yet. Hey, I managed to pick up a 25-inch TV for under two hundred dollars a couple years back, I'm not giving it up just so I can count the acne on Snitsky's back. I'm sure someone's already done it, anyway.

Plus, I found out that people really like the Rumble reviews, and one person thinks I'm a doctor. Only when I'm at the bars, although sometimes I'm a cosmonaut. But more Rumble reviews, this I can provide.

From The Anthology - Royal Rumble 2007

We arrive in 2007 with the sound of Triple H tearing his other quad, thus throwing the WrestleMania plans for Raw into disarray. Over on Smackdown, Batista was World Champion again after Survivor Series, but the brand was in such disarray that the Armageddon PPV prior to this, and the No Way Out PPV after this, both Smackdown-only PPVs, would feature John Cena in the main event to make sure they at least had something to draw buys. Plus, ECW had been revived as a WWE brand over the summer with their own TV show, and quickly spiralled out of control, as their first champion got caught by police while high, their first PPV drew a record low number for the modern era by a wide margin due to piss poor booking, and their founder and face of the promotion got sent home in disgrace. No wonder they threw single brand PPV's out the window after WrestleMania.

Ah well, at least John Cena was entering 2007, a year where he seemed to say "okay, hop on my back" and started dragging good-to-great matches out of everyone he possibly could. First up, the suddenly incredibly credible Samoan Bulldozer, Umaga.

We are LIVE on DVD from San Antonio, with JR, King, Cole, JBL, Joey Styles, and Tazz, making this the only Royal Rumble that JBL ever commentated. Speaking of which, JBL, Cole, and King do the announce job for the Rumble itself.

MNM vs The Hardys

I guess they didn't want to bill Jeff and Matt as "boys" any more, which makes sense.

Mercury is wearing a face mask from the broken face he suffered after eating a ladder at Armageddon. Theorists say that rushing back from that injury is what caused him to fail Wellness tests and get fired. On replay, you can see the blood just start exploding out of Mercury when the ladder hits him.

So MNM's game plan is to work over Matt's face in revenge for Mercury's injury. I never really thought this would be completely true, but the Hardys are way above being the opening match tag team at this point, something that would get even more obvious when they won the Raw tag titles the next month and immediately had no real legitimate contenders. This is a standard Hardy match, as Matt plays face in peril, then gets a hot tag to Jeff. For old times' sake, JR even screws up which Hardy is which, something I never understood since they have always looked completely different. Since it's PPV, though, the Hardys miss the legdrop/splash combo and switch roles for the second half of the match, with Jeff playing face in peril. After a false tag to really piss the crowd off, Matt finally gets the tag and hits a nice bulldog/clothesline combo. MNM tries for a quick Snapshot, but Jeff breaks it up and the Hardys get Poetry in Motion. Side Effect, Twist of Fate, Swanton, thanks for coming folks.

Backstage, Coach, Teddy, and Kelly Kelly supervise the drawing. Edge comes in to mock Kelly's lack of intelligence, and is joined by his Rated RKO partner, who promises to throw Edge out in his trademark halting fashion. Seriously, if he didn't pause every two words, people wouldn't have questions about his limited intelligence. King Booker comes in and gets his old "tell me you didn't just say that" line, which I suppose could be considered breaking character at that point.

Bobby Lashley © vs Test - ECW World Championship

This looked bad on paper, and ended up even worse in reality. Lashley's entrance video even has a graphic saying he's "soft spoken", because that's what people are really looking for in a wrestler. Meanwhile, Test has no credibility, and coming of the disastrous December 2 Dismember PPV, ECW was pretty much on life support in general, and dead in the water in terms of having anything to do with the original ECW, including the loss of Paul Heyman, who was sent home and has not returned to wrestling since.

This is pretty much the worst match I've ever seen in all the Rumbles I've reviewed, which is impressive given the Rumble has hosted anti-classics like Brock-Holly and Trip-Steiner. It's a standard big man power match between two guys with no heat or presence, and it ends almost completely at random, as Test just decides to take a powder off a clothesline, losing by countout. He'd be fired by the end of the month.

Post-match, Lashley brings Test back to the ring and hits a powerslam, just to emphasize how little change Test had of actually winning. Not that anyone minds, because hey, it's Test.

Backstage, the doctor examines Cena's injured ribs, and Vince stops by out of concern/hope that Cena won't be able to defend his title tonight. Just in case nobody knew that Vince is evil and hates good guys.

Batista © vs Mr. Kennedy - World Heavyweight Championship

Kennedy won a Beat the Clock challenge to earn the title shot, and got to beat six former World champions in the months leading up to this. In case you were interested, the list is Taker, Kane, Benoit, Mysterio, Booker, and Batista himself. Of course, the Batista win was his return match from injury, where he beat the crap out of Kennedy so much that he got DQ'd, but hey, out of such wins are deluded heels made. People were predicting big things from Kennedy in 2007. Well, big things happened, but not quite what we expected.

Meanwhile, Batista's second title reign was floundering, partly because he seemed to be trying too hard to regain his old style and ended up botching moves, but in my view, mostly because they stopped letting him be the "cool guy" that got him over with the fans in the first place and just made him a generic monster.

So this match is surprisingly good, as Kennedy sends Batista's leg into the steps early and works it when he gets an opening. On initial airing, I gave Kennedy a lot of credit for the match quality, but re-watching it now, it's Batista's selling that makes the match work, as Kennedy actually botches a couple simple moves and doesn't really put any effort into his submissions. His half Boston Crab, for example, looks like he's casually squatting in the ring, while Batista has to sell being in tremendous pain. If Batista were Owen Hart, he'd be smoking an imaginary cigarette by now. Another example, Kennedy fails to get up high enough for a Rolling Fireman's Carry, so Batista makes it look like a powerslam and they have to repeat the spot. Ref bump, and Kennedy goes low for the visual count, which shows how much they were getting ready to get behind him at that point. Kennedy goes up top, but gets caught with a clothesline coming down, and the Batista Bomb finishes. Kennedy nearly forgot to take the bump off the Batista Bomb, too, as he was trying to punch Batista in the head during the spot.

So, Kennedy's push would continue as he would win the Money in the Bank, but then would suffer an injury that was thought serious enough that they had him lose the briefcase to Edge. On second opinion, however, the injury wasn't that serious, and he'd return just in time to be slotted into the Mr. McMahon fake death bastard son angle as the illegitimate progeny, only to get caught up in the Signature Pharmacy scandal, after declaring on national TV that he'd "never" taken steroids. Oops.

Backstage, Ariel and Kevin Thorn pick a number. See how much cooler he was with a gimmick? Speaking of which, Hornswoggle runs in to pick for Finlay, then bites Coachman when he pokes fun at the leprechaun. Khali enters and picks three balls, then drops two. Kelly picks them up, and if you can't see how Ron Simmons fits into this scene, then you haven't been watching wrestling for long enough.

John Cena © vs Umaga - Last Man Standing - WWE Championship

Cena got a lucky pin on the then undefeated Umaga at New Year's Revolution, so Armando Alejandro Estrada demanded a Last Man Standing rematch so that Cena wouldn't "get lucky" again. This would be the first of roughly five dozen Last Man Standing matches that WWE would put on in 2007, most of which involved Cena. Maybe they should make that his signature match.

Cena is sporting taped ribs, so you know he's the real underdog today. They do a massive staredown to start, and Cena starts swinging for the fences. Jawbreaker stuns Umaga, but Cena charges into a kneelift to the ribs and has to roll out of the ring. Umaga punches Cena off the apron and tosses him into the ring steps. So we've decided to bypass the "wrestling" portion of the match early, I see. Umaga punches Cena up the entranceway, but Cena punches Umaga all the way back. He slams Umaga's head into the apron, which obviously has no effect, and Umaga re-gains control. Back into the ring, Umaga hits a headbutt and works over the ribs. Cena gets a boot up on a charge, but gets clotheslined down for a seven count. Umaga meets the rising Cena with a body slam, then rolls out and grabs the ring steps while Cena takes another seven count. Umaga tosses the steps in, but Cena necksnaps him back to the floor, then hurls the steps from the ring into Umaga on the floor in a nice spot lifted from the Rock-Foley wars of 1999. Umaga gets up, dizzily, at eight. Cena resumes the assault, but Umaga gets a spinning lariat kick for five. A bearhug is applied, then turned into a belly-to-belly suplex. Umaga grabs the remaining ring steps while the ref makes an eight count. I like the fact that Umaga doesn't just stand around waiting for Cena to get up, and is already planning his next move. Umaga sets the ring steps up in a corner and props Cena against them. The crowd goes nuts, because they know what's coming, and at this point it was still death when it hit. Samoan Clambake misses, however, and Cena knocks Umaga down with the steps. Now the crowd is actually counting along. Umaga's up at eight, and catches Cena coming off the top rope and hits a spinning uranage (which JR calls about six different moves, all incorrect). Umaga clubs Cena down and hits a couple of butt splashes on his chest. Cena gets the knees up on a third try, though, and hits a Throwback on the steps in the ring. Spinning powerbomb on the steps put Umaga down, and Cena stays down for five as well. Five Knuckle Shuffle and Cena tries an FU, but falls forward, theoretically crushing his head between the ring steps and Umaga. Obviously he had space, but it's a good visual. Cena takes the time to blade, and gets up at nine. Umaga pounds the cut to really get it flowing, as a tech tries to pull the steps out of the ring for some reason. Cena makes his way up from an eight count, and Umaga continues to pound away. Cena gets a second wind and starts firing away, but runs into a sick Samoan Drop. Umaga sets for a Samoan Spike while the ref counts to eight, but Cena blocks. Umaga headbutts him down instead, and puts Cena in the Tree of Woe. Cena pulls himself out of the way of a a running headbutt and gets a top rope legdrop, then posts Umaga. Estrada grabs a TV monitor, so Cena slides out, takes it, and clobbers Estrada with it, then breaks the screen with Umaga's head. You don't ever see that. Umaga gets up at seven and a half, so Cena shoulderblocks him to the floor. Umaga catches Cena diving off the apron and posts him, then sends him facefirst into the steps. Umaga preps all three announce tables, then runs along them in a crazy spot, but Cena gets out of the way of the splash at the end that would have surely finished Cena. Umaga makes his way up at nine, to everybody's shock, and meanwhile Estrada detaches a turnbuckle from the post, freeing the top ring rope. He orders Umaga to hit Cena with the metal part of the turnbuckle as if it were a Samoan Spike, which looks deadly, but Cena catches him on the charge and hits an FU, then locks on the STFU, with the added bonus of wrapping the top rope around Umaga's neck and leaning back. Notice the difference between Cena selling a submission and Kennedy. Cena releases after a good long while, but Umaga starts to stir almost immediately, so Cena resumes the choking. Finally, Cena releases, and Umaga stays down for ten.

This match won the 411 Year-End Wrestling Award for Match of the Year, and I'd be hard pressed to disagree, as it was miles better than anyone expected and a great match in its own right, featuring a lot of spots that you don't see every day, and got the crowd deeply into the match.

Backstage, Coach threatens to leave, but gets interrupted by Sandman, who picks one of the last two balls, cracks a beer, then hits himself with his Singapore Cane. Flair gets the last number, but at least he gets hit on by Extreme Expose as compensation. You know, when Ric Flair can dance better than you, you can't dance, women.

The Royal Rumble Match

#1 - Ric Flair
#2 - Finlay

Can you imagine a match between these two in their prime? Too bad no one discovered how much Finlay rocked until he'd already retired.

Sign in the crowd: Randy's on his Knees Often. Now, that's just too far. I keep telling you people, he's not gay, he's just stupid.

Refs confiscate the shillelagh as Finlay enters, so you can't say he wasn't warned prior to this year. Finlay and Flair trade lockups, with Finlay pounding Flair down in the corner with forearms. Flair switches off and gets some chops, but runs into a back bodydrop. Finlay tries for an early elimination, but Flair rakes the eyes.

#3 - Kenny Dykstra

Flair intercepts Kenny and chops him around the ring. Finlay attacks Flair from behind, then tries to toss Kenny when Kenny goes after Flair. Flair sneaks up and tries to toss both men. We settle down to Finlay and Kenny double-teaming Flair.

#4 - Matt Hardy

Matt and Kenny pair off, and Matt hits a Side Effect, and tossed Kenny to the apron, who wraps himself around the bottom rope. Matt goes after Finlay instead, and tries to power him over the turnbuckle. Flair chops away at Kenny.

#5 - Edge

Edge spears Flair and Finlay, but Matt dodges a spear and hits Edge with a Twist of Fate as Cole and JBL make vague references to Matt and Edge having personal issues. Flair rolls out and grabs a couple chairs from under the ring, in revenge for RKO hitting a Conchairto on him on Raw, but gets intercepted by Kenny and tossed by Edge and Kenny. Kenny pauses to strut, so Edge tosses him.

#6 - Tommy Dreamer

Tommy gets a flurry of punches on Edge, setting him in the Tree of Woe and hitting a dropkick. Finlay kicks Matt in the face on a charge and takes down Dreamer as well. Finlay and Dreamer pair off, while Matt tries to toss Edge. JBL takes a shot at King hiding under the ring, saying "Jerry thought there was a young girl under there". Ouch.

#7 - Sabu

Sabu pulls a table out from under the ring right away, sets it up outside the ring, and attacks Dreamer. Springboard crossbody by Sabu on Dreamer, and he attacks Matt as well. Dreamer clotheslines Sabu off a springboard attempt, and Matt dumps him to the apron.

#8 - Gregory Helms

Helms attacks Matt while Sabu nearly tosses Finlay. Neckbreaker by Helms and he deposits Matt on the apron. Sabu pounds down Finlay in the corner, then grabs Helms and tries to toss him, without success.

#9 - Shelton Benjamin

Shelton attacks Matt, then throws Dreamer into the ropes, rather than over. He tries to toss Matt, but gets nowhere. Finlay tries to toss Shelton, and Matt tries to get Finlay out. Matt and Shelton fight over a suplex on the side of the ring with the table.

#10 - Kane

Kane cleans house a little, hitting a powerslam on Helms, then a chokeslam on Edge. Kane tosses Dreamer, then tries to toss Sabu over i8nto his table, but Sabu slips out. Kane backdrops Sabu to the apron on a charge, then chokeslams him through the table for an elimination.

#11 - CM Punk

Punk goes after Edge, but gets cut off by Finlay. Punk hits a Shining Wizard on Edge in the corner, but Finlay again cuts off an elimination attempt and pounds down Punk.

#12 - King Booker

Booker attacks Helms and dumps him effortlessly, then goes after Punk. Finlay sneaks up and tries to dump Kane, but gets kicked away.

#13 - Super Crazy

Crazy gets caught between Booker and Kane while JBL makes ethnic jokes and references Mil Mascaras' Rumble entry. Booker tries to toss Finlay and they make reference to Booker knighting Finlay.

#14 - Jeff Hardy

Jeff and Matt double-team Finlay and hit a double-team suplex, then take out Edge. The Hardyz work over Super Crazy, then charge Kane, but get caught. A double chokeslam fails, and the Hardys get Poetry in Motion on Kane.

#15 - Sandman

Sandman enters through the crowd, and clubs Jeff, Matt, and Super Crazy with the cane, then gets tossed by Booker. Sandman never got a fair shake in WWE, as he was slowly neutered of his gimmick, which was incredibly popular, but not a WWE construction, so you know how that goes. A real shame, as he actually looked like he got himself in shape for his WWE run.

#16 - Randy Orton

Orton and Edge toss Super Crazy, then Orton hits Matt with the 3.0 neckbreaker. Edge tosses Jeff, Orton tosses Matt, and Rated RKO go after Punk and Shelton.

#17 - Chris Benoit

Benoit goes after everyone, and levels Edge and Orton with chops. German on Finlay, and the cameras focus on Shelton fighting Punk on the apron. German on Booker, another for Shelton, and Finlay breaks up Benoit's momentum. Punk tosses Shelton, but can't get him to release the ropes.

#18 - RVD

RVD, former World champion due to his extra-curricular activities, cleans house with kicks. Booker gets dumped by Kane, but runs back into the ring and eliminates Kane, then continues the assault.

#19 - Viscera

Vis, Shelton, and RVD try to toss Edge, but get nowhere. RVD and Finlay pair off while JBL and King make weight jokes. Seriously, it's been like open mic night on commentary, with a lot of Michael Cole abuse tossed in.

#20 - Johnny Nitro

Vis crushes Punk in the corner, while RKO beat down Nitro and Finlay and RVD square off. The camera catches Shelton hangs desperately to the bottom rope and keeping himself off the floor, then powering his way back into the ring. Impressive.

#21 - Kevin Thorn

Thorn attacks Benoit, then Shelton. Vis powers RVD to the top rope, but RVD wiggles out, staggers Vis, and hits him with a couple clotheslines. Vis knocks him down on the third try, though, and steps on him. Nitro and Shelton do a nice sequence, ending with a Nitro dropkick.

#22 - Hardcore Holly

Holly goes after everyone, but runs into Vis. Redneck jokes ensue. RVD ends up on the apron, but rolls back in, and a gang elimination try ensues on Vis.

#23 - Shawn Michaels

Shawn goes for Finlay, hitting a Thesz Press, an atomic drop, and clotheslining Finlay out to a massive ovation. Well, it is his hometown. Superkick to Vis, and everyone gangs up to dump him. Shelton charges Shawn and gets backdropped out.

#24 - Chris Masters

Masters and Nitro switch off on beating down Benoit. Rated RKO try to toss Shawn, while Benoit succeeds in dumping Nitro. Benoit chops away at Thorn.

#25 - Chavo Guerrero

Benoit powers Thorn over the top rope and out, then gets tangles up with Holly. Shawn beats down Orton, while Punk and RVD try to toss each other.

#26 - MVP

MVP was still not great at this point, that would come later. He goes after Benoit, but gets chopped down. RVD dropkicks Masters out. Everyone goes into the corners, including Punk hanging for his life on the apron.

#27 - Carlito

Carlito gives everyone a punch, then settles on choking Edge in the corner. RVD tosses Shawn to the apron. Orton and Edge hang out in a corner, planning strategery. I'm assuming Edge had to use small words.

#28 - The Great Khali

Almost all action pauses. Khali fights off everyone with headbutts as the crowd goes slient. You know, as bad as Khali is, he's at least gotten better, so, you know it's something. Khali tosses Holly and Benoit.

#29 - The Miz

Khali tosses Miz, RVD, Punk, Carlito, and Chavo, then poses. Shawn attacks, but eats a choke bomb.

#30 - The Undertaker

Taker fires away at Khali, but gets chopped. Taker comes right back, and they trade punches. Taker breaks a choke bomb attempt, then charges and clotheslines Khali out. Taker goes Old School on MVP, then tosses him.

Final Four: Edge, Randy Orton, Undertaker, Shawn Michaels

Taker hits Edge with a floating clothesline, but MVP comes back in with a chair, which Orton takes and clobbers Taker with. Edge sets up for a spear on Orton, who turns around in time and menaces Edge with a chair. They start arguing, with Edge professing innocence, and Orton pauses to RKO Shawn. Edge finally gets Orton to see the light, and they team up against Taker. They pause to pose, and Taker makes a comeback. Taker hits charges on both men, then goes for a double chokeslam. Orton and Edge break that up, but fall to a double clothesline. Snake Eyes and a big boot on Edge, and Taker tries a chokeslam on Orton, but gets speared. Edge grabs the chair again and Taker takes another chairshot. Edge rolls out and gets another chair, setting up for a Conchairto, but Shawn rolls in and backdrops Orton out, then ducks an Edge chairshot and sends him out too. Taker sits up, Shawn kips up, and they have a staredown. Shawn attacks with punches, but gets shoved away. Shawn keeps coming, but runs into a choke, and Taker tosses him in the corner and swings away. Shawn nearly goes out, but fights back and ducks a charge, then chops away. Taker whips Shawn into a Flair Flip in the buckles, sending Shawn to the apron, but Shawn ducks a big boot, and Taker ends up on the apron instead. Shawn starts charging at Taker, but runs into an elbow. Both men back in the ring, Shawn hits a neckbreaker. Shawn runs the ropes, but Taker hits a big boot. Taker suplexes Shawn over the top rope, but Shawn holds on and goes up top. Taker blocks that and goes up as well, and they fight on the top over a Superplex. Shawn finally blocks, sending Taker to the mat. Flying elbowdrop hits, and Shawn tunes up the band. Taker blocks Sweet Chin Music and hits a chokeslam, however. Shawn wiggles out of an elimination try and hits a quick Superkick, and both men are down. Shawn gets up and sets up for another Superkick, but Taker moves, and powers Shawn over the top for the elimination and the win.

Stephen Rates The Rumbles

This is one of the better booked Rumbles of all time. It breaks away from the whole "keep as many people in the ring for the whole match as possible" formula that has dominated Rumbles since about 2003 and really hurts the product, in my opinion. This was well-paced, and I liked that we even got a semi-match once we got to the final two, instead of the usual "three minutes or less" finish that usually happens. Then, you toss in the Match of the Year, plus a decent Hardys-MNM and Batista-Kennedy match, and even the atrocity that is Test-Lashley can't drag it down too far.

1. Royal Rumble 2000 (Winner: The Rock)
2. Royal Rumble 1994 (Winners: Bret Hart and Lex Luger)
3. Royal Rumble 1992 (Winner: Ric Flair)
4. Royal Rumble 2007 (Winner: The Undertaker)
5. Royal Rumble 2004 (Winner: Chris Benoit)
6. Royal Rumble 2001 (Winner: Stone Cold Steve Austin)
7. Royal Rumble 2005 (Winner: Batista)
8. Royal Rumble 1990 (Winner: Hulk Hogan)
9. Royal Rumble 1989 (Winner: Big John Studd)
10. Royal Rumble 1997 (Winner: Stone Cold Steve Austin)
11. Royal Rumble 1998 (Winner: Stone Cold Steve Austin)
12. Royal Rumble 2003 (Winner: Brock Lesnar)
13. Royal Rumble 1996 (Winner: Shawn Michaels)
14. Royal Rumble 2002 (Winner: Triple H)
15. Royal Rumble 2006 (Winner: Rey Mysterio)
16. Royal Rumble 1988 (Winner: Hacksaw Jim Duggan)
17. Royal Rumble 1999 (Winner: Vince McMahon)
18. Royal Rumble 1993 (Winner: Yokozuna)
19. Royal Rumble 1991 (Winner: Hulk Hogan)
20. Royal Rumble 1995 (Winner: Shawn Michaels)

That's the end of the Anthology folks, but don't despair, for you see, there's still one more Rumble left to be reviewed, and next time, it's not From The Anthology, but it's the 2008 Royal Rumble, the latest and last Rumble left for me to review and rank. Are you ready?

And One To Go On

411 will have live coverage of Raw tonight starting at 9 pm EST. Larry's in tomorrow, surely happy that his namesake's team's perfect season remains intact, and I'll be back next week.

New England sucks.

Have a good one, and always be a fan.